Transcript of The Big Suey: The Bowling Center

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the Pitch you a Liar.

This episode of the Dan Leventard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

Is braided better than Romo now as a broadcaster?

It's certainly worth discussing. Braided has really improved this season.

Well, Romo has gotten worse.

Yeah, but that's been a several-year thing. Remember there was a report three years ago where CBS execs had to meet with Tony Romo to stage an intervention about his preparation?

One of the things that he continues to do every single game, no matter the game, is these seven things are as good as any you will ever see in the NFL, or anywhere as there is presently in the NFL. It can't be everybody, Tony. It can't be everybody that we're watching in every game we're watching that you're just hitting the note again and again that this safety, the latest safety, is as good in the league as anybody at this. That's not empirically true in any way.

Tony Romo's immediate approval was a perfect storm because the game had changed so much. Offenses, the game had totally evolved with the sophistication to it, and he was affable, and he was so closely removed. Tony Romo started broadcasting months after we had last seen him on the field.

Well, and remember, everyone thought it was so cute that he was able to predict the play.

Because he had a pretty good idea because he was in those film rooms.

Oh, but he was still doing it this weekend and getting some of them wrong because it's interesting to me that the Ben Johnson's of the world are new when they're here. They've got their young quarterbacks, and they're here to say out loud, history of the sport, the packers. All the tweaking that Tom braided has done, and I think he's done more personal stories, listening to the greatest bad weather quarterback of all time talk to you about the difficulties in throwing in the wind.

I'm always going to be there for that. But less has been more for Tom braided. It got through to him. He's He's received coaching and he's learned. Let me do more bite-size- Why wouldn't he get better?

Someone who's never done broadcasting is thrown into the broadcast booth with no experience, and you don't think they're going to get better?

I guess it's because it had been two seasons. We have a clip that got traction online where we wrote him off because at midseason, it didn't look like it, and he turned a corner. And you're absolutely right. I think if anything has taught If anything, we've learned, let's stop counting Tom braided out at anything in life, because if you overlook him and you doubt him- Oh, no, I'm going to keep doing it on the Raiders.

I'm going to keep doing it on the Raiders. Go ahead, braided.

They're going He's a doza.

I'll... Katie, I will keep doubting you. I'm going to chase you to the grave, and you won't respect me anymore than Cristobal does. But I'm going to chase you to the grave saying, No, you were bad at that because you were shitty then. There's no question about that, that he's gotten better and that Romo hasn't worked at it the same way, not surprising, that, that, that, that, Katie would chase down Romo in the booth with 300 million more in guarantees. Yes, of course. He's going to be better at this if he wishes to be six years from now because he's going to get the reps of it and he's going to care about getting better. But yes, he was terrible at the beginning. I'm not taking that back.

I think now all he needs to do is add to moments, add the right amount of color at the right time on big-time moments, because when I still tune in to Tom braided, it doesn't feel like it's a big game. But that's just a resume thing, right? His voice will sound like it belongs on a big game, much the way that it did with Chris Fowler early on, it was awkward. And now you can't picture a big-time college football game without his voice.

No. The best one, the best one this weekend, and it's how Prime bought its way into the game. And holy shit, football was broadcast. Amazing. These amazing games. At the top of it, in the middle of it all, I know it can get forgotten because all the games are great and interesting yesterday. Goodbye, Jacksonville. I should have never trusted you. I hate that I did. The best of all of these was the framing on, and this is how this shit happens. Give me that Lafleur sound if you want to see how high the flames can climb when these moments happen and pressurize things that we're all watching. And hey, Tomlin, you win, you go on. We won't fire you. Harbor, you're gone. Lafleur has a quarterback. That's a great job. That's a great young quarterback. If you're not good enough, Lafleur, one of these young Whizz kids who have taken over the game, and you can get old fast. When you lose a game that way, and Al Michiels is in the booth, and he is saying, I've been at this field 30 plus times. It's never felt like this. He could feel the place shaking.

Eighty-year-old Al Michiels will not quit because he wants to be at the center of those games. Went to prime to make him big and has, and now that falls on the floor. Listen to him in this press conference after the game. That is the greatest collapse in playoff history and all sorts of flukery. You can't lose that game, statistically. The advantages that you had throughout that game, and it's the second time in a couple of weeks, they did that to you as Ben Johnson leaves the field saying, Now I got the quarterback and the bears matter again. And look at how high the flames climb on this guy.

Hey, Matt, you got a year left on your contract, and policy has said he doesn't like Wayne Duck seasons.

Do you expect to be back next season?

Have you guys already started negotiating that deal?

Yeah, with all due respect to your question, Pete, now is not the time for that. I'm just hurting for these guys. I can only think about just what just happened, and there will be time for that.

You've won a lot of games here. I know you always said the quarterback. It's too much blame. I'm sure it's the same for you as a coach, too. But after the way the season finished and a couple of other playoff shortcomings, why do you think you shouldn't be back here next year?

Again, Pete, I'm not going to get into that right now.

Do you think your team has the confidence that the leadership of this organization can get more than want to go?

Yeah. Again, with all due respect, Pete-Come on.

Definitely, now is not the time. I mean, whatever.

Am I crazy or does he look like white Jalen Hertz.

I got that deer in the headlights thing down.

Schefter has tweeted this morning that packers now are expected to try to work out a deal in the coming days to keep head coach Matt Lafleur.

May I ask a question? Why? He had Aaron Rodgers, right? They finally moved on from McCarthy. And if you remember Lafleur early on, there were a lot of growing pains in those playoffs. A lot of mistakes, a lot of second-guessing. And you just said to yourself, Okay, the packers are willing to live with these growing pains to get Lafleur to a point where he can take them to the next level. And here we are, six, seven years later, blowing three score leads, looking like an absolute mess from an operational standpoint. If the growing pains were worth it, he not be screwing it up that badly. Because it's not just a team got hot and came back to you. The Chicago bears have proved that time and time again this season. They can do that to you. Hell, they proved it in the exact same building against the exact same team. I'm talking about shooting your own damn team in the foot. I'm talking about bad timeouts. I'm talking about procedurals. I'm talking about undiscipline play. He looked like a rookie head coach, and that's inexplicable.

What's usually the explanation there, and I've always thought it dismissed I've always thought it too remedial. You can't analyze these games on a Sunday and just be eating popcorn and stuff. And when these guys prepare this way and say, Oh, I would have done this, this, and this, this, and this differently. I hate the way we cover the NFL, where every week somebody's shouting louder than the next person, No, that person choked. Do they deserve credit for winning Chicago, or do the packers deserve blame? I'd prefer to be positive there about the bears have the best team and quarterback that they've had in that city, and it made Al Michael's shake in the booth. But Green Bay has got the better quarterback. You believe that?

Yeah.

Well, if Jordan Love doesn't want to get caught from behind on Caleb Williams. I believe that through several quarters in that football game where I thought without Micah Parson, Chicago had some real line advantages. You saw what happened in the chargers last night, Zazlo. Harbaugh is going to get... When Alt's out, Harba is going to get Justin Herbert killed. He can't also lead them in rushing. You can't play that football. You can't. John Harbaugh is going to get Justin Herbert killed.

They had one sequence of chargers, and I think it was first and goal from the nine. The first three plays where Herbert runs.

Listen to this. I couldn't believe it. Look, you went to see bloody Vrabel. He's got blood in his mouth. He's smiling because of what he's going to do to you. This is what you're going to do in that game, Harbaugh. On fourth and short inside the five, you're just going to try and run Justin Justin Herbert into their face and then not get it and get scared and then kick a field goal the next time. And that's the end of your point. You're in the red zone twice inside the five-yard line. You got scared the second time and kicked it on fourth and two because you failed the first time because you had no offensive line. Because that's the worst offensive line in the entire playoffs by miles.

Their play on first down on that goal to go situation. It was roll Herbert out right and have him try and run over a linebacker.

Maybe that's because the Patriots had 30 pressures last night.

30. No, he's Look, Justin Herbert, I want an intervention. It's unfair what they've done to him over the last nine games, ask him to play a different game of football than even Josh Allen. Josh Allen is not getting hit nearly as much as this dude. This would make Andrew Luck quit. You can't keep asking that guy to play like that. That is Jim Harbaugh being a total lunatic and feeling like he can't trust anybody else except for his quarterback to be miles better than any athlete on the field. He was hit 129 times this year going into yesterday.

That's 18 more than any other quarterback.

I don't think there's a tougher quarterback in the league. I feel bad for the way that dude gets hit on Sundays because he's big like Josh Allen, but not quite as big as Josh Allen.

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Don Lebatard.

If Daniel Day-Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself.

Oh, come on.

Yeah, I would be.

Aggressive description. I mean, what is that? I'm just saying. You know what? That's me. You're saying what?

That's me. That was something broofe of yesterday. I see that photo of Daniel Day-Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming Lincoln. And you know what I do? I mean, I jerk off all over myself. That's what I do.

Lincoln, who you outed the other day.

Don't make this a rejoin.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

In all honesty, they have no one else on that side of the ball. We're still talking about it. It's third down. Look for Keenan Allen.

No, and Aarande Getson's kid.

He's good. He's a good player.

Okay, well, then what did you just do, fool?

Oh, he's young. He's not your go-to. He could be a good player and not be the go-to.

Lad Mokaki is a pretty good wide receiver.

They have a lot of nice pieces. I think their season was completely undone by injuries along the offensive line, right?

Well, this is what this sport does. It ravages people. And the end of that Philadelphia game, the idea... I'm not overreacting when I say, What the 49ers have done over the last, I'm going to say, I don't know, seven years with whatever the parts are, when their giant parts are always getting hurt, to go into Philadelphia and have no Bosa, no Fred Warner, and then Kittle's out early in the game, and he's going to be gone for a bunch of time. And Brock He missed games this season. I don't know how Macafre is still held together. I expect any game now for someone to just stitch his forearm to the side of his helmet. I don't know how that physical body holds together as everything else on that architecture gets ravaged. John Lynch runs that franchise. They just gave the keys to Matt Ryan in Atlanta thinking, Look, John Lynch did it over here. But what the 49ers have done over the last 10 years without winning a Super Bowl is one of the great achievements I've seen in this sport. And going into that place and winning after you got ravaged by Seattle, don't like their chances at all against Seattle, not even a little bit.

But I'm done doubting that team because I can't believe that they can be that injured every year and still be at the top of the standings and be higher seated than the Rams, who are the best team I've seen this season, and almost coughed it up against Carolina, the worst playoff team there's ever been by point differential. There's never been a worst team in the playoffs in Carolina. Minus 69. 49ers, what What they've done to me, I know it's not going to stand out in the yesterday of it all. We're going to talk about Josh Allen being pushed 10 yards and whether that's actually football. And we're going to talk about- It's not. It's not football. It's not. That's asinine. They carried him. You can't have rug be, break out in the middle of the football playoffs and be okay with games being decided at the last minute because the guy's being carried 10 years. All right, let's put Josh Allen in a chariot. See if anyone can stop that, too.

And the referee called it a touch on it. He was down like a three. What are you watching?

I mean, what are we doing?

Often asking myself that.

I'm going to get back to NFL stuff in a second, but Tony's made me happy. Look at him. He is beaming. That's as Cuban as you've ever looked right there. Everything that's happening right now, this right here is a snapshot. This is a work of art right here. It looks like a green screen. Oh, my God. Tony, that is the most colorful Tony photo there's ever been. All right, tell the people where you are and what the history of that place is.

Dan, I'm here just literally not even a mile down the road on Bird Road, and I'm here in front of Bird Bowl, 69 years of family fun. As you can see, billiards, arcade, and bowling, and parties. So this is Miami's inaugural The first of its kind bowling. What do you call it? Alley. Bowling Center? Bowling Alley. You can see how much I bowl. Okay. I don't really bowl much. You're doing a live report.

You're doing a live report?

It's raining on me right now.

No one goes there to bowl. They go there for the pitchers.

You want to give people the history?

I actually have a funny story here, Dan.

Well, the history-I'll give a personal anecdote really quick. Not just a personal anecdote, the history of the joint. That right there has been Cuban Fun Center for generations of Cubans.

Yeah. Did you not have enough money as a kid to go to Disney World? Great. Guess what we're doing in the party? We're doing it at Bird Bowl. It was $67 for you and 37 friends to go and bowl with shoes that had been worn for 60 years. I think the original shoes are probably still inside of Bird Bowl right now.

Bumpers or no bumpers?

For me, bumpers, obviously. What do you think? A bowler? What do you think? I got my own ball. I'm going to flick my own ball there. Come on, dork. Sucker.

Eric Dampier used to play in those bowling shoes. It's a true story.

Well, this is a different place, but over at the bowling place in Dolphin Mall, I remember what it was called, Splitz or whatever. They used to have Shax shoes And they were this big bowling shoes. They were size 27. They were this big. They were huge. So that was exciting. So at one point, a quick personal anecdote. One time I was here and they had... Let me be... How can I say this? Okay. So a alcohol beverage brand that is uniquely American, that has a very American figure as their mascot. They had one of those in here, a cardboard cutout, life size of him. And after us hanging out and having some of these pictures, I took the the American hero cutout with me home. I took it out of here and I put it in the car, and I haven't been back since. So I don't know if they have my picture on the wall saying this guy cannot be here. I don't know if they saw me in the security footage. I don't think they have security footage here. But that American icon, life-size cutout, is in my house.

This is the home that Mike Ryan... This place built you. Did it not, Mike?

Dude, I got a smile ear to ear. I got Madonna's. This used to be my playground in my head. He's so close to the former Ultrazone laser tag center that later became a sex shop.

Dude, it's play things. It's right there. I was thinking about that place the other day, Mike.

Let's go ahead. Go over there next.

It's right there. No, no. There it is right there. Yeah.

It used to be Ultrazone. Now it's a sex shop.

Mike, I was thinking about that. I was thinking about that Ultrazone, what it was called. I couldn't remember what it was called, but I remember going in there and it was a sick laser tag place, but then it closed down.

It was the best. In fact, not too far.

Just like the Excalibur.

Yes, not too far from you. The Excalibur was sick. Right next to you, there is a racquetball center that had a fat camp that I was a counselor at.

Yes. I was also at Fit Kids for a while. It's down the street.

So wait a minute. It was a bunch of fat Cuban kids. I was a counselor.

Hey, come on. Hey, come on. Let's get up. Let's go for a jog. And usually, they just pull out a Game Boy advance and tell me to go screw myself.

Tony, so you're You're going to go to Columbus here at one point, but are you allowed to in Bird Bowl? Is it not open this early? It's early for bowling. Is it open?

It's open, but I don't think we can go in there.

Well, can you do me the I'm just trying to ask... See, to me, help me with this because- Do they agree with Dan's politics? Mike is saying that these are dangerous times. Mike is saying that- Hold on.

Let me say one thing. Let me say one thing. So We bring politics into sports a lot, okay? And we were politicizing the camera and people not wanting to answer about the hurricanes. The moment the camera shut off, three guys, as I was making the right after that. They got in my car. Three guys came up to me talking about the Canes, talking about Mendoza. And I said, Guys, why don't you come over here 30 seconds ago when I was doing the hit and giving Coladas away? They're like, Oh, because we don't like the cameras. We don't want to be around the cameras or whatever. So it's not a political thing. It's a camera thing. People don't want to be in front of cameras. And they see Sean McGill bringing up a camera in their face, and they're like, Who is this guy?

I don't want to be seen by this guy? But the problem is that they don't want to be seen by cameras because they're doing illicit things in our city. It's not because they're afraid of the government. It's because we've got people throughout our city who probably shouldn't be in our city who are your neighbors and friends. They're people that you care about. They do important work around your house. And great people. But they might not be. The best people. But they might not be here legally. They're probably not. And so they don't want that seen on camera.

That may be true. I'm going to see if Sean can actually help me here. Sean, can you pan over and zoom into the front door of Bird Bowl? And Dan, I want to see if you can see exactly what's on the front door. So the handle of the door, I don't know if you can see it perfectly right there. There's a placard that says, notice, no firearms at the bowling center. No firearms, please.

It's good advice. That's correct.

You got this, Sean. That only happens if there has been firearms here before. Many times where they had to put the placard of like, Hey, no guns. We're open carry now.

You don't want that at the bowling alley. All right, Tony. Thank God.

I thought this was America.

I would like... This is where I would like to end up as an American institution in the media, fighting its way during these difficult times through our sports and political climate. Why are we not the show that can now go over to Play Things and see what's going on over there? Why can't you go do a live hit over there, ask some people over there about the hurricanes?

Does Play Things agree with Dan's politics?

About the hurricanes. No, I don't want to talk So wait a minute. This is what we're going to do. So you think you're in a dangerous area because no one within three miles of you agrees with my politics. You think I'm putting you in danger?

More than three miles.

You think I'm putting you in danger right now?

It's more than three miles.

Trust me. Go to Florida Christian and ask for Coach Stemmer.

No, I'm not in danger. I don't think he's there anymore. I can ask for Coach O and Coach D'Andrino's also not there.

No, Padrone is the one that's not there anymore.

I can go over to play things, Dan. Again, that's more of a Somebody may be getting something for somebody who's not their wife. I don't know. People are not going to want to be on camera.

Tony, the show I'd like to do, look, if I were pushing you beyond the limits of normal production in a free media world that isn't as dangerous as this one, I think you should be asking someone inside of Play Things what they think of the hurricanes and just doing a straight UM interview with that person.

That's what I would like. We can. Yeah, I can do that. We're right now, my producer Rose is inside begging us to be able to get inside of Bird Bowl. So when she comes out, I'll tell her to go play things.

That'd be good television as well. I'd like to ask how old... I'd like to put it on the poll at Levitard show. Have the shoes at Bird Bowl been there for 69 years? For 69, were they worn by your grandparents? Because those are, those bowling shoes. We need to make cars out of those bowling shoes. Those bowling shoes cannot... Those bowling shoes... 69 years that Bird Bowl Bowl has been there, standing strong, entertaining Cubans who got to this country and couldn't quite get to Disney World. All right, go over to play things.

Yeah. Slash Ultrazone.

All right, let's see. I'm going to try to get inside a Bird Bowl. If we can't get inside of Bird Bowl, we're going to head over to play things and see what we can do there. But I will promise that we will effort, Dano.

Thank you. Let's get back to the NFL here quickly. I want him inside of Playthings, not outside of play things. We can't get into Columbus. We can't get into Bird Bowl. I mean, are we making television here or not?

I'm working on Columbus.

Rose can wait outside. Rose can wait outside. We're not making her do this.

Hr issue. I'm being told they can go into Bird Bowl.

All right. Well, let's do the next report then from inside of Bird Bowl. I'd like to hear you talk about the Canes and the enthusiasm about the Canes with the local community. Thank you, Tony. We'll check back in with you in a second. But it was, again, a batshit crazy NFL weekend. When I'm quoting there, this is This is the coolest as it really is, because in the middle of all of these wonderful games, Chicago taking back the division in that town with Al Michael shaking, they want so badly to be relevant at football. They care so much, and they've never had this quarterback, and they've never had this coach. Now, Ditka, not anyone has the ability to both outsmart your coach in offensive ways that make the lions collapse in the division when he's taken away and Dan Campbell exposed He does something less than when he couldn't keep up with the plays. They've got the coach that's running off the field after toppling what Aaron Rodgers has specifically done to the bears historically with Bleep the Packers, Bleep them because it's a new era in Chicago, and they know they're going to be good for 10 years.

I like people getting upset with Ben Johnson's handshake with Matt Lafleur. I mean, he snuck it right in there. He had a big grin on his face. I mean, he essentially smacked his hand, and then he ran off. I liked I like it. I like the packers. Why can't the coaches not like each other? I like if the coaches don't like each other. I like if Ben Johnson doesn't like the packers. I like it. Draftkings Sportsbook, the number one sportsbook for live betting, is turning up the stakes this NFL playoffs. Every Sunday, every DraftKings customer has a shot at over $2. 5 million in prizes. Holy moly. Here's how it works. Open the DraftKings Sportsbook app and opt in. Place a live bet of just $1 or more on Sunday's games, and every live bet gives you another chance to win. The more you bet live, the more entries you stack all Sunday long. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app right now and use code dan. Bet live for your share of $2. 5 million in prizes with code dan. In partnership with DraftKings, the Crown is yours.

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For weeks, months even, during the regular season, I wondered, allowed, what Kevin Steenland did. And then about three weeks ago, it hit me. Stugatz. He gives him one of these, and he gives them one of those.

This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugats.

Zazlo, apparently you didn't take the cue, and neither did I. I wasn't trying to be gratuitously telemedic. Division by using the F word there. It's just I'm quoting Ben Johnson as he's around the highest forms of the celebration that they've had in that city. I'm going to say, since the cubs, I guess. But the way this city cares about the football team is in the Michael Jordan class of caring when the championships have never met what the standard is. For this tandem to bring that city hope as the Eagles fall at the finish line, as they've got a defense that will ravage you, win the turnover battle. But a month ago, all of these games felt Iberflucian right before the second half heroics when they're doing things mathematically that they simply cannot recreate. You cannot win a Super Bowl getting down 21 to three and trying to figure it all out in the second half after Ben Johnson goes in the locker room and does whatever he does with the bunsen burners to figure out what he has to do in the second half to just play. Okay, Caleb, go out there and just run around on fourth and nine.

And now they're a home win away from the NFC Championship. One home win away. Rams are favored. I'm really not sure why, I got to be honest with you. One home win away from the NFC Championship, which Maybe they would host as well in Chicago.

Well, it's because everyone thinks the Rams can win all three road games because you target Puka 18 times.

But that game against Carolina was impressive to you?

I would love your thoughts on the Carolina game because their season was over after they beat the Dolphins, and yet They were right there, almost beating the Rams for a second time this season.

It was pretty unimpressive.

I did not think I would get to the point in life where Mike Ryan would look at me earnestly and say, I want your thoughts on the Carolina Panthers. But thank you because I have publicly been the greatest national skeptic on all things Carolina Panthers this season. Again, I declared their season done after they beat the Dolphins just because don't make me watch that team all season. But it's hard to reconcile that with the both times the Rams played them. The Rams, who I think are the best team in football. Five one-score games they've lost in total freak fashion. All of it allowing a special teams' countdown, a defensive countdown. Mcvay fires his special teams' coach after one of the losses. The Rams should be a one-seated home. They were better than Seattle this season. But now, and this is what you risk, 37-year-old quarterback or not, Stafford throwing fingers is a problem. He wasn't the same in the second half. They have in Pukina Kua the same thing they had with Cooper Cup. You cannot stop it all season. We'll throw to it 20 times. It'll never be something that you can stop. It's too accurate.

There's nothing that you can do. But against Carolina, the worst team in the history of the playoffs by point differential, they come out exactly the way that I thought it would go the entire game, and Carolina stays in it, and the Rams do dumb stuff. At the end of the game, they need Stafford to be great, and he is because he's better equipped to be great at the end of these games that are all going to be closed. Than any of them. It's weird to me, Zazlo, to watch these games and these quarterbacks when they're all trying to stay being kept within 150 yards and everybody's going forward on Fort down. To have all of the games in that league be that close at the end where the team trailing at the two-minute warning in the first three games, one all three of the games, came back to save its season after the two-minute warning. It's because of the precision of people not like Trevor Lawrence, who 59 seconds to win that game, and they know how to get down the field to get the 40 yards you need so that you can get into field goal range because there's not a human beating that can actually guard Parkinson.

That's not Devante Adams. That's not even Pukenau Kua. If I take a 6-6 tight end and I just throw it to him over in that place, there's not a cornerback that's going to be able to keep up with something like that.

You're noticing now, where all of these teams, first of all, Everyone goes for fourth down. It's so strange to see. But you're noticing now where all of these teams, it's the fourth quarter, several minutes left, whatever it is, they're all afraid to settle for field goals to give them the lead. They're all afraid. They all know we have to score touch downs.

Is it not fair criticism to do what I just did with the Chargers and the Patriots to say to you, early in that game, he's inside the five-yard line on fourth down. He goes for it. He decides to throw a pass. He does not trust his offensive line. Harbaugh fails. It's a game that's clearly going to be won by the defense or not at all, clearly, because of the problems that, again, the chargers were not fielding a professional offensive line yesterday. It was the worst in the playoffs by Miles. I believe that Harbaugh should be indicted for manslaughter, an attempt at manslaughter for trying to kill Justin Herbert by making him play behind that offensive line without alt for the last eight games. It's an incompetence. You cannot do that to Justin Herbert. But in that game, Inside the five-yard line, Herbert couldn't get in, even though he's going to be the leading rusher for five or the last six weeks. Again, asinine. Asinine that you're asking Justin Herbert to change his game because you can't run the ball. You don't have an offensive line. You don't have any Harbaugh answers for just, Run a sweep, Justin.

Run away. Run. That's what the charger offense was at the end of another season that collapses at the finish line. Justin, run. But fourth and short, you fail. And then the next time you get inside the five, fourth and short, and you kick it. And you kick it, and way to go, Harbaugh. You got a chance at touch downs. You got to go for touch downs. But if you're not going to go for touch downs, don't tell me you're going for touch downs at the beginning. And then the second time you get close, I'll take the tie 3-3. And then at the end of the game, Vrabel's laughing with blood in his mouth because he's doing it differently than you are. It's crazy how fast this stuff happens in that sport, isn't it? How fast Le Fleur gets old. It's crazy to me what you saw over the last week of NFL football that, again, begins with John Harbaugh, now available to everybody. I'm reading the reports. Harbaugh will decide whether he wants to come to teams or whether he's going to have him to Baltimore because he's got-I keep seeing the dolphins are in play.

I don't believe it.

They're interviewing him.

Yeah. Why don't you believe it?

Maybe Steven Ross was listening to me. Maybe he's going to do my thing. Give him $50 million.

But why don't you believe it? What are you not believing?

Because how is this a good job for a big-time coach? For not someone going for one out of 32. How is this a good job?

All the power and money?

Well, where's the power? They just hired a GM.

Okay, but you tell the GM that there's going to be rules and the GM is going to act as a... You can allow Meaning Steven Ross tells the GM, you're saying? But wait a minute. No. What I'm saying is that if you really want somebody and you have no other options that don't improve your credibility from one day to the other, because it would be Jim or Bust here if all you're going to do is famous guy who stabilizes your franchise so that people can yawn and say, Okay, stable. You won the offseason.

I bet they're going to look at McCarthy, too.

Okay. But that's a waste of time. I agree. Okay, but wait a minute. What's the difference between McCarthy and- McCarthy's a meatball.

He is not a good coach. He'll stabilize your franchise for sure. I think that's why the Dolphins will look at him, but you're not winning anything on McCarthy.

All right, put it on the poll at Lebitard. Is McCarthy a meatball? I don't understand what you're doing there. I don't.

Really?

Tony's at the bowling alley now. I wanted to make a point about the Harbaughs here, the first family of football, as John takes on a royal quality because everybody wants whatever the stability is of that guy will come here. Plenty of time for that. Plenty of time for what?

To get to the Harbaugh stuff. Tony, timely.

Okay. Well, you go ahead and take the show from here then. Well, you said to govern it in Chris's defense. I said to govern it, though, when I thought it was three hits ago, and I said to govern it as it related to Zazlo in 10 minutes before we got out of the local hour, and I'm looking up, and there are three minutes left, and no one's governed it. It's true. I'm being told they're going to let him actually bowl. All right. So, Tony, do me this favor. So, Tony, this is what I would like for you now to do for us because some of the benefits of entertainment television have alluded you this morning. I would like for you to bowl right now while doing your top five. I want your top five while bowling. I want you to do both things at the same time, and we're going to do Tony's top five. Did I just hear Rose laugh?

Okay. Yes, because she understands how many hands I need and how many hands I have, and I need three hands, but I only have two. But we can do it, Dan.

That's fine. Okay. Let me know when you're ready. If you said you can bowl, I'd like to see how you do now while doing your top five. So let's do this.

I will remind you, when was the time you bowled? Because remember, I got to throw the ball, then the pins have to fall, then the ball has to be returned to me to then hit a spare to then be able to do the same thing again. So it's going to take a little bit of time.

That's fine. I've got five minutes. So give me a take. Roll the ball. Do it five times.

Okay, perfect. You ready for number five? No all I, just straight number five.

Is anyone there at Bird Bowl? Number five. Is anyone there at Bird Bowl?

There's a nice family. There's a nice family with a young kid who's bowling right now. Again, massive bowling. We don't have to show the kid. Massive bowling. Plus, they're expanding. Plus, they're expanding. Thanks to Deon, the GM here, they're actually going to get another 20 lanes this week.

Why? There's all those open lanes.

And a mini golf. It's incredible.

See, I love that Bird Bowl is only expanding here. As Columbus doesn't let us get in there and now look at us. We're in the middle of another Cuban-Miami icon. What are you shaking your head about, Mike?

You think the bowling alley would be a lot more popping on a Monday at 10: 00 AM? In the bowling center.

All right, Tony, go ahead.

All right, number five. It's a look in the mirror game for Philly. Look in the mirror because something is deathly wrong, deathly wrong with your organization. That offense should not be scoring the way that they are. That defense is obviously very good, missing some key pieces throughout the season, but it's a look in the mirror game. Looking at you, Siriani, you got to figure it out. All right, here we go.

Okay, you put it down and I'll come after you here with Zazlo.

I don't like putting my fingers in the hole, so I'm going to do it caveman style with just gripping the ball like this. You got to put the fingers in the hole.

What do you mean? No, you got to put your fingers in the hole. No.

He's not doing it. I don't like doing that. Okay.

You're going to bowl? I'm also going to put a cut on it. That's not even bowling. If you don't put your... Wait a minute. It's not called a cut, but do you think?

Some people that do this.

No, it's a spin. It's a spin, but he's just...

Tell my man, what's up?

That's pretty good.

All right. Wow, that's a very difficult shot. We'll get the spare. We'll get the spare. This guy's an athlete. And a two-corner pin.

They're the same way.

You went Brooklyn side. You went Brooklyn side.

That wasn't good at all.

Jesus. You have no chance of picking that up. Do you realize the viral moment that will become if you're able to pick up? Let's go.

This guy knows. We got some canes over here.

He was listening. There it is. He came running over with the pantooflas. Everybody, go to Bird Bowl. Get your friends. Get your friends' pantooflas. Everybody, go to Bird Bowl right now like that guy did.

Let's go.

Tell your friends, get everybody. Let's make it a UM party over there.

That guy showed up and was planned, and then he saw he's the only one, so he's like, All right, I'm leaving.

It's Whoosh Whoosh, Don.

I don't like that. It's Whoosh Whoosh. I'm a whoo-whoo guy. It's Whoosh whoosh. I'm a Whoosh whoosh. I'm a Whoosh whoosh. I don't care what you say. All right, here, Rose, hold this. Rose, hold this. Do your job, Rose. Here you go.

Do your job, Rose.

We're a wind event. It's a Whoosh Whoosh.

What's the strategy? Are you going to try to get the middle pin? What are you going to do here?

I'm going to try to throw it. How about that?

But wait a minute. Don't we need number 4 first?

Yeah, I was about to say it. Dan, number 4. Kittle, George Kittle. We'll see you in Bahala, brother. Maybe he throws a ball every two. Now we're going to keep doing this. Okay.

You loser.

Man, he almost had that one.

Loser.

He had the right idea. He had it in the right spot. Right idea.

What do you expect? I threw a dime. I threw a dot right between the corner and the How do you like that?

So we still have three pins that are up. Are you going to keep trying to knock those down? No, they're going to go. Okay, that's it? You're going to just bang through the rest?

No, Dan Howell works every two shots, it resets. A new frame.

I was hoping they would rejigger. Dan Howell has been bold in 25 years.

There's two shots. They just stay.

I was hoping they would rejigger it just for our bit.

They can radio the back.

They can set pins up. All right, so set it up the way it was, and I want you to take four shots at that same pin combination. I want to see if I can have the viral. I can't do that.

We have a full rack of pins, and we're on number 3, Caleb Williams, sir, you have my attention.

Let's get a strike here.

Caleb Williams, sir, you have my attention. I mean, it was Brooklyn, but we'll count it.

It was Brooklyn.

Chris, what I want you to set up as your dad was telling me the other day that he bowls about a 150. Set him up against Tony, and let's see if Tony bowling this way can knock out your dad. Number two, Tony. I think you can. I think you can do it just this way.

Number two, playoff touchdowns. Justin Herbert, two. Jowan Jennings, two. It seems like the question between Tua and Herbert was neither.

Oh, no. You can't do that to Herbert.

It's going to get another strike. It's a big week for Cubans.

Of course I can.

They're terrible.

All right, Tony, this is big.

I think I do want him bowling against your dad.

Almost a gutter.

We got an easy spare, though.

I would take my dad.

Set the table nicely for the spare.

Exactly right. I need to hit in the middle and have it spin out and kick out the other one.

No, that was not-Drystaten Island.

That was not setting the table I will put it on the poll at Leventard show is leaving seven pins up, setting it up nicely for the spare.

I got fooled. There's four pins there. Hey, you hit it. You throw your nice strike ball here that Brooklyn side. You can get this strike. I mean, this spare. What does that mean?

Listen to Covey.

What about Hill's Kitchen?

I'm sorry. I was distracted by the fuzzy... My eyesight and the fuzzy camera work at the end there. I thought seven pins were remaining. Number two.

That was number two, Dan. Number one, picking up a QB and carrying him 10 yards into the end zone should be a crime punishable by the electric chair. Oh, wow. Okay. I'm ratching it up. That's a little too strong. Not even suspending the push, push, push. No, no. Electric chair. You're the guard that picks up Josh Allen and goes 10 yards and knocks out the jacks. Electric chair. Look at that guy in the background just standing ominously. Electric chair, maybe. Pat's fan right here. Big Pat's fan. He's got a Pat's hat on. This guy says, We love Drake May, baby. Let's go. Drake May, Drake May. Let's go.

That's not football. What Buffalo did at the end of that football game to win the football game is un-American. And while not punishable by the electric chair, it's not football.

Again, I think if you put that on the poll, you could probably get a better result.

The electric chair is too strong. We're changing things. It's too strong, Tony. Electric chair is too strong.

Here we go. Brooklyn side, Brooklyn Side spirit. There we go.

Do you think he'd beat your dad, Chris? No.

He distracted him. Tony seems pretty awful, if I'm being honest. You've got this, Sean. That was a personal foul, by the way. That was a personal foul. Sean McGill almost broke my arm on the way back. All right, a bunch of excuses.

All right, go to the sex shop. He broke my arm. Sex shop. Go to the sex shop. All right.

Former laser tag center.

Okay, can I throw one more? I know Sean McGill's in on that. I love that position. Fingers in holes.