Transcript of Local Hour: The Most Cuban Thing In the History of Sports

Zaz, you look great. You look like a Theo. You really do. I can't believe how Cuban you look right now. If you were walking on Calleo Ocho and no one was talking to you, you absolutely look Cuban simply by putting on a. I didn't see it last week, but now that I see it now. It's so good. He looks like every Cuban Theo that has been by a barbecue, 12 beers in at the end of the night, can't speak because he's 12 beers in and he doesn't have to speak. You could absolutely Zaz, I'm telling you right now that as a prank, we could take you to a Cuban party, and as long as you just didn't say anything, you would fit right in at a Cuban Cahachina.

My culture is not your costume.

It is. We're going to do a lot of cultural appropriation this week. Nice. I'm mortified, though, Mike, by you and how selfish you are. Zazlo, did you take in what was happening in that meeting this morning? Where we've got- He's nervous.

He's He's nervous. It's a very important week.

This is a total misread by you. No, I'm not nervous. I'm very happy to be here. I like how Miami is matched up with this game. We're a week away. It's an eternity. I'll work my way up to nervous.

No, it's like you want this to be perfect.

No, I'm just standing by, agaced at the nerve of people. The nerve of Dan Lebitard, for one, the nerve of Billy Corbin, for a second. What did he do? The nerve for the rest of the people on this show that took turns laughing at me, telling me that I didn't belong here, touting James Madison. They scored a lot of points. It's just funny. That's true.

We all agree now, playoff team?

Yeah. I actually don't think- More than a lot of others. I actually don't think there's been a proper reckoning because everything's been moving so fast. You all should be embarrassed.

Well, so Mike's got takes for days because he hasn't been able to speak since the last victory, the greatest of his life, probably. I'm going to say that might have felt better to Mike than any of the championships in South Florida, as I imagine it. Panthers, heat, and that game because he gets to be right. No matter what happens against Indiana, he gets to be right. And he also gets the hope of, Oh, Indiana is still small, and those games at Iowa and Penn State are tough. And why is everybody in the street asking me, Is Miami getting blown out? Are you crazy? Miami is not getting blown out by anybody. Miami is not getting blown out by anybody. They're physically superior The last two games have fooled America. God bless, we've got the most Cuban thing in the history of sports coming to our town. Me. We've got in Miami, we've got Fernando Mendoza, Heismeng, Coming to town to play Cristobal in the Columbus, Cuban, most Cuban Super Bowl in the history of Cuban. Sports never get to matter like this for the Cubans in Miami or anywhere else. It's always just the short stops, short stops and pitchers.

It's baseball. Cubans never get What's the matter in this sport. Mike's in the meeting mad because Billy Corbin is sniffing around. He wants to make some stuff for us.

Go somewhere else. Plenty of media companies around. Find someone else to run your scam by.

Mike Ryan came in today and started the morning with Billy Corbin.

Wow.

Demo, you there?

Oh, yeah, Pablito. What's good, bro?

I'm going to give all the good to God.

Depingal, sinvergüenza.

He's a guy who is a blank prick. Por tu madre.

I imagine it would be like your mama, por tu madre.

Hey, that's great to hear it.

How do you feel?

I love you, Miami.

Is that the short stops?

Is that Liván?

That was a dated reference by me. It started with the pitchers and the short stops, and it hasn't been a short stop in a while. It's relievers.

It's all relievers. Yuniel Escobar. All those Y names. Soviet influence.

You look great. I know. He does look great, but you can't speak. What you can't do is, well, you can speak, but you can't speak in character because that's offensive. So be careful. You're going to walk the line all show. Tony is trying to get into Columbus. It's the Columbus Super Bowl It's the Cuban Super Bowl. I was yelled at in the meeting because I'm like, Tony, just go out there. Do some live hits. Let's celebrate Columbus. And he's like, Yeah, they don't rock with us. Dan doesn't know how schools work. Well, no. Dan's like, Tony, go into Columbus today. No, no, no, no. What I got is an explanation.

Rains a man walking to this school.

No, no, no. Wait a minute. We're a little big swagging media thing. It's a nice time to be Columbus, you would think. It's celebrate Columbus. The Columbus people made all of this come together. Fernando Mendoza comes from Columbus. He's the best player in the The stats he's putting up are totally ridiculous, totally absurd. 85% completion rates, three touch downs. He's got six of those games this season. In the history of football this century, college or pro, no one has four such games in a season. He's got more touch downs in the playoffs, eight, than incompletions, five. It's nuts what that guy has done from Columbus, and he's got a bigger, stronger Cuban here to eat his face. Coming to the fight with Ruben Bain and Messador, and people are They're asking me no lies as because this is broken perfectly. They're asking me a lot as I'm walking around. Dan, is you going to get killed? And I'm like, What are you people talking about? Idiots. At home? What are you talking about? In what world do you have? Is it just the last two games? You believe that that Alabama thing wasn't a fraud.

It's a fraud. Miami played its second worst game of the season and beat a one lost Mississippi State team. That's the second worst game of the season. Their worst game was Louisville because he threw four interceptions and he wouldn't stop throwing deep. That quarterback looked like this quarterback to you because Zaz can't stop watching that Dorsey run into the end zone. Beck. Beck.

I understand why he did that, though.

He can't stop watching it. I can't. Everyone who texted me, all of my friends who texted me over the weekend, just about the game, the first thing I said, how many times you watch that Beck Touchdown? And everyone responds with a hundred times. I can't. Anytime I'm just sitting around, I'm not doing anything. I go, let's watch the Beck Touchdown videos. Let's watch this angle and this angle. I love it so much. And my favorite part of it is that it happened to be him running into the end zone in the corner of the end zone where is all Miami fans. And it's like he's just running into this sea of fans who are so happy, come to us, come to us. And it was so perfect. I love it so much, and it's my favorite Miami Huracan win of my lifetime. It really is.

I've been walking around the house occasionally just saying to myself, Still running. The way that Fowler was on that Malakai Tony shutdown call.

Great call by Fowler on the Beck touch. Corson Beck with his legs.

He also had, though, in that game, didn't he shout? What's that crazy thing he shouted with like six minutes left? Miami is completely unraveling.

Yeah, that wasn't fun.

That was not fun. Zaz is sitting here saying, Most fun win of my lifetime. I'm going to say it again. It's the second worst game Miami's played this season. They were that dominant. They had a bad half Stanford, and they had four turnovers against Louisville. But blow this team out, Miami should not be a countdown underdog to anybody who plays college football. That's asinine. But it's just because of the way the last two games have gone. And I give Indiana all the blessed credit in the world. But when they played at Penn State against Penn State's athletes, that was a close game. When they went to Iowa, and that was a close game, and it was with the same Mendoza.

People have got no shame. The way that Miami has played the last two games, you mean against a 13-1 SEC team and the defending national champions? Yeah. Okay. I listen to all these podcasts, and they're already doing a fair amount of previewing. Take a lesson from very recent history. You all have been saying the same thing for three weeks. It's the exact same thing I heard about the Four Pigs against Louisville and the SMU game going into College Station. I heard the exact same thing going into the Cotton Bowl. They better score more than 10 points against a team like Ohio State. They better score more points than 24 against a team like Urban Meyer telling everybody, They're not going to score two touch downs. Hey, they better clean it up if they want to play Indiana. Okay. All right. Anybody at all in media want to say, Hey, I'm done doubting this team. Spot the ball. Let's see what's going to happen.

My favorite part, the Canes' average weight on the offensive line is 50 pounds heavier than the average weight on Indiana's D-line. Not a small thing.

I understand all With all the respect in the world to Indiana for going undefeated, you beat Ohio State. We saw you beat Ohio State 13 to 10 with your Heisman offensive weapon quarterback because Ohio State is physically something that not even stands up physically to Miami. There is not a thing in the sport that stands up to what they have on the offensive and defensive lines.

I think they're going to maul them on the lines. I really do.

I mean, 50 pounds is a ton, but regardless, Miami... Look, I don't want to bore people doing this all because this is going to be a really fun week in this city. I'm trying to get Tony to go over to Columbus High School to celebrate the greatness that is Columbus High School, the epicenter of Cuban soul in this city that has now birthed the biggest game in Cuba, America, sports history. This is not up for dispute, is it? I understand that El Duque pitched in a World Series, and I know that we loved Levan in Miami. You got both teams. The best player in the sport is the Cuban on the other sideline. He's undefeated, and the stats are nuts. And on this side, you've got a Cristobal who came through the program and FIU and has been doubted all along the path while his team has done nothing but improve four years straight.

Dan, the biggest booster is on Miami side, Cuban. The biggest booster on Indiana side, Cuban.

What is the second biggest Cuban sports thing that we have? Because to have this game played in Miami, to have the University of Miami program indeed back in a way that's not nauseating, but throws them into a game where I saw this on Rich Eisen show the other day. He says Miami is America's team. I'm like, What world am I living in? What world am I living in where Miami at home is a countdown underdog against Indiana? I go, What? I don't care about your N-I-L money. It's still Indiana. Indiana has never been here. How'd that go for Jacksonville yesterday? Indiana has hasn't played in this game, and it certainly hasn't played in this game in Miami.

First of all, Mike, the line on the game, seven and a half. Do they take into account at all that it's a home game for Miami, or does it not matter because it's not technically a home game?

It's not. And Indiana is going to travel well. And I don't think it's going to be the 9010 discrepancy that they had as an advantage in the Beach Bowl.

That Beach Bowl, I was there on Friday night. It was a disgrace, the Oregon alum. A disgrace. It was 95 % Indiana. There was one little section to the low level that was Oregon people.

I mean, Indiana looked outstanding in that game. They were all over Oregon from the jump. Oregon had some sloppy turn Overs as well. But the advance line on that game was five and a half. And then Indiana did what it did to Oregon, and it ballooned up to seven and a half. Right now, last I checked, 87% of the betting public is on Indiana minus seven and a half.

Bunch of suckers.

It's probably because the average margin of victory for Indiana in the college football playoff is 34 and a half points, and the average margin for Miami is seven.

Well aware of the teams that they've played, too. Alabama and Oregon, not teams that I have a lot of respect for. Josh Pate did something on his show where he said that he talked to some sportsbook people. What would have been the line on a neutral field week one between these teams? Week one? It would have been Miami minus six and a half. We're talking about a 15 and a half point discrepancy, and Miami has just run through three top 10 teams.

Well, you know what Indiana was to win the national championship before the season started? Plus 15,000.

All of it fascinating. All of it will be an epicenter for vibrant stuff this week. But I was told when I said, Tony goes to Columbus, it wasn't about schools and kids, and you just can't just walk onto a school where there are kids. I got that part. People were saying that my politics don't fit with Columbus's reserved style and that Columbus might not be a fan of our show.

Yes, people were saying that.

I have no knowledge of this. No one has ever said this to me before No one's doubting that you have no knowledge of this. Why do I have no knowledge of this?

That's a you thing. Your echo chamber, I think. Yeah, it's a you thing.

So Columbus is mad at me? Columbus does not like our show?

If you think your whole bit flies with Columbus.

The bit of Mario's playing in the big- I heard Tony laughing at La Cretta. So wait a minute. If you think your whole act flies over there. So this is what I was saying the other day.

You know that act not flying?

I don't, actually, obviously. I'm asking you to help me understand my act not flying because I was explaining or began to explain last week as Mike comes in with gritted teeth saying, Chris Billy Corbin? ' I was trying to explain last week why the Cuban that is Cristobal, specifically the Cuban that he is, why he would not respect before the biggest game of his life that I'm in a local park on my hands and knees, smearing ketchup on my forehead to be near the bit of, Hey, tough guy. Look at me. I'm shaking my hands over here. That Cristobal wouldn't respect that a fellow Cuban would forever be a jester around where the University of Miami actually built its sports greatness? Yes, I understand. They understand that I'm a parasite. I'm a parasite at their side. I'm guessing that they believe in me the way that you believe in Billy Corbin, where you say, for Billy Corbin. I think that we can get Billy Corbin to give us some content this week that UM fans would really like.

Billy Corbin would laugh in my face. This is not a figure of speech. This is not me passively saying this expression. He would laugh in my face when I would try to explain to him the thing that we were building down here. Many of you listening to my voice or watching on YouTube would laugh, would hop in my mentions, would make fun of me. And we told you, four years into this project, we're here now. We got there. And I don't think people have eaten a fair amount of crow. I really don't. I was a joke headed into the CFP. I was a joke as of two months ago. I couldn't win a game outside of the state of Florida. I just think maybe I'm owe an apology.

By?

Everyone. You. You. I've been here from the beginning, man.

Pointing at Jeremy and Dan.

You over there in Twitter and YouTube comments.

You think I owe you an apology?

I think I'm entitled to one.

You think I owe you an apology? Yes. All right. Put this off to the side for a second, okay? Because we got a lot going on this week, and we're a vibrant epicenter for tension because Mike Ryan's attitude coming in this week with I told you so. I like it. Look at him. Well, I don't, and I'm going to tell you why I don't. It can't start with Billy Corbin, who we can agree, has made the best University of Miami things that there are. The U, I believe, is still the biggest 30 for 30 documentary ESPN has ever had because of what this program has been.

Can I tell you something? That's something I'm so excited about this week because my older son is way into the canes right now as a result. I told him, You and This week, we're going to sit down and watch the U 30 for 30.

Incredible disrespect for the Canes Insight preseason high video. That was prophetic in retrospect.

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Two us residents.

Oh, wow. That's pretty good. It's in there.

It's better.

You think I haven't been practicing?

Stugatz. I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy. Brought you by headquarters Toyota.

441 Power Line Road, second down to 9. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

This University of Miami history can be downloaded. All the history of it, the 50 years of it, can be downloaded bite-size with Billy Corbin, who we can agree is UM's best sports historian. He has made two films about the University of Miami's history because the first one was so popular.

Also, I listen to Friday's show, hoping for more souls, hoping for us to rally around it. We couldn't talk about this team without constantly putting them in historical and talking about teams that were around 30 years ago. Can we stop? I'm pretty sure the sports fan, the casual person just coming to our show understands what the U was, how they fell down twice, and how they're picking themselves off the mat. Let's talk about this team.

What was that?

I'm done talking about the Ghost of the Orange Bowl. It's a new era. We had to tear that whole thing down. Do you know how much mediocrity was in that heck building? Stop talking about... This has nothing to do with Dennis Erichson, Howard Schnellenberger. Yes, they're ghosts. They're echoes. They have formed Mario Crisabal and who he is. This is a whole new world.

You know about that heck building mediocrity?

So Zazlo, this is the problem that I have with Mike, and it's going to be hard to rein him in. I have, before 10 minutes out of this local hour, I have what I believe to be Zaslow's biggest breaking news, where when he said it to me, and it's not news, news like he's had giant stories, it's just he said something and I'm like, Man, in the history of this market, there are two or three people who could say that, and I'd be like, Mm, that hurt. Zaslow has, I believe, giant heat news that I was stunned to hear from him.

Well, it's giant heat opinion.

Well, it's heat opinion, but hearing it from you felt like news to me. And since you look like a Cuban old-timey news guy right now, Tony's right now at La Carreta. We'll go to him in a second. Tony, I want you to buy Caffecito there for everybody who's in line. I want you to... Yeah, everyone who's there, tell them it's all on you. That'll be $3.

17.

That's right. Don't tell anybody that, Mike. Tony, just keep buying Caffecitos for anyone who comes through there.

There's 50 people here.

That'll be $3. 17.

We only see four people. Tony, just keep buying. What I'm telling you- Oh, you only see four people? Tony, what I'm telling you is I need you, before I get to this Zazlo news, I need you to give those people some enthusiasm about what's happening here in Miami this week, how Cuban the sports scene is. You're at La Carreta on Calle Ocho, right?

No, on Bird Road, Dano. We are here on hollowed ground. I'm going to have Sean McGill turn around the camera. So anytime you've ever seen anybody banging pots and pans, it's on this little side street where all these cars are parked. And that's obviously famous Bird Road right there. So anytime you've ever seen anybody banging pots and pans, it's been on this street right here in front of one of the most iconic buildings on Bird Road right here on the 87. Bird Road. I can see our betters in the distance. I can see Christopher Columbus High School, probably like seven minutes down that way. And the fact you were asking, why doesn't the reserved, probably biggest donors of the Republican Party, don't mesh with your liberal progressive politics? Is that the question you were asking earlier? That can't be it, right?

I just thought Sports United, all that stuff. Columbus is good at sports. It does. We're a big sports show. I've been here all my life. We all know each other, right? No, for sure. A lot of damage, though. Absolutely. We're all But we're like, Hey, Columbus. I'm trying to repair the relationship. Hey, Columbus, I knew you in the '80s. Come on. It's a private Cuban school. I know all those kids. Come on.

Our show's reputation locally is that of an anti-Miami show.

I understand, but that is my allegiance to trying to play it down the middle while loving my school, obviously, but also doing journalism in it. Man, you don't want to talk about 30 years ago. I literally physically have the scars from a beer bottle thrown across a room, hitting me across the chin because I dared to report journalism about the University University of Miami program.

Yeah, you also have that on you. So it's an uphill battle. But if the last 20 years of South Florida radio and national radio have shown the listener anything, it's like you're ready to overcorrect on the natural Miami homerism and pride that comes with this show. Locally, this is not viewed as a pro-Miami hurricane show. It's got one guy that is vocal about his passion for the show. Who's that? And an entire show that has undercut him, made fun of him. And by the way, you guys teed off. The scorecard, it's bad. But now we've come up, and you all want to come to the party, and you all want to be like pro-Miami people thinking that people just have short memories, and it's not going to be the case.

All right. So despite your stubborn general obnoxiousness, which I knew would be here today, I'm going to offer you something in the way of an apology. But first, Tony, I need you to buy shots for everybody there. Can you get that going for me, please?

Yeah, I'll get Rose on it so she can start getting people there.

Like, cortaditos for everybody. I like this Rose yelling, Shots for everyone. What's so hard about just going over there and making a deal? Am I producing this segment poorly when I say, just go over there and just buy some? What Why won't you do this for me?

I don't know what Tony's problem is.

Can we not move the wires? Why will you not go to Columbus for me?

Well, no, here's the thing. I need to actually talk to people. I can make a couple of calls and get us at Columbus. That's not the issue. The issue is when you tell me at 8: 47, Hey, can you be at the Columbus field? That's an issue. I got to work through my sources. I got to work through my people at Columbus. I've already got a couple of asks in. We may be able to do it at the gym. We may be able to do it on the field at Columbus. Again, I got to work it out, but I can't do it right this second.

You can build the bridge. You need to send Jeremy over there. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, maybe he's not Cuban enough. I'll make it happen. He's not understanding the assignment, I guess, right? He's just, Okay, we'll come back to you. Do you have anything else for us?

I have my top five later on, if you want to get to it. Again, Rose is in line right now. I'll buy two collars. Two collars she's going to buy. Everybody's going to get a little bit of a shot here. But you know what? I would actually love for Jeremy to come down to Columbus High School. I don't even know if he can find that on a map, but if he can, come over there. He could talk to Brother Kevin. He could talk to the people over at Columbus and see if they can get him in. I would love that, actually.

All right, so we're going to do that this week. Who's more Cuban?

That was terrible.

That's tomorrow.

We know the answer to that.

We know the answer to that. Tony, if we have no luck going to Columbus, you could just do what I did and go to your backup school, Florida Christian.

You know what? They didn't let me get in the Florida Christian. I failed the math portion of the exam.

We also didn't let Frank- I was this close, though. That's a story for another day.

I was this close. The place that I will offer Mike Ryan an apology before we get to, Chris, do not let this show get away from me. Do not let me not get to Zaslow. I really was genuinely shocked by something that Zaslow said. Just shocked. It would only have been more shocking to me. I think there was only one other person that would have shocked me more if Eric Reid had said it. I If you said, This person is having this opinion, who do you least expect it from? Eric Reid, the broadcaster for the Miami Heat since its inception. Second, Zaslow. Let me get to that because I know Mike's enthusiasm here are going to run wild. They're going to be hard to contain all week. The place I will offer you an apology is that I have absolutely been the easiest bandwagon this season. When they dragged Florida State and when they dragged Florida, I thought and said that that's as physically as any team in the country, there's no one better than that. Then when they lost Louisville in an embarrassing fashion with expectations at home and then lost SMU, I doubted my own eyes on what I thought was a championship team four games earlier with the talent of Notre Dame being able to beat Notre Dame.

So absolutely bandwagon, guilty as charged.

That was good. That was solid. That's just centrally Really focused to this season, but I'll take it. Step in the right direction.

Okay, but when you say this season, I'm not offering any apologies of any of my work around this program, or for that matter, Billy Corbin's work around the program when he has sold, Better to Anyone, to the Nation, the story of the University of Miami.

No, but Mike's mad that Billy Corbin laughed at him.

Yeah, he laughed at me.

That's what he's mad about.

Look, you joined in on the John Ruiz stuff. I think we owe John Ruiz a little bit of a thank you for templating this thing. Whatever you want to say about what's become of John Ruiz, it's irrefutable.

That's shocking. It's a shocking thing to say, though. It really is, because they were delisted, correct? So the whole life wallet thing. But he was also run. He's the pioneer atop whose money the whole thing started. And then all of a sudden, at a time when no one thought Miami could afford to get Mario Cristobal for $90 million, that's not a price that anyone thought. Ten years of guarantee to a program that had churned up some coaches and athletic directors because the Miami football thing was a fluky miracle once upon a time, and it sustained Miami all of these years later. It's one of the most excellent kinds of business we've ever had in this town of any kind. We don't have great businesses around here. Burger King is around here, but Miami is not a place where great things get birth. And this program has been that now for 40 years. But for the last 20, it's been quiet. And something else I am guilty of. There is no refute. Because of where they placed the standard before that, they lost my interest over the last 20 years. I can only get so excited about D.

Eric King.

Yeah. And I guess this national title appearance in particular is for everyone that sat in those stands before they had a roof on it, watching Robert Marve, talking themselves into Jacory Harris-Heisman, watching- That starts the season with pretty impressive.

Come on.

Posting on a message board, Hey, Jaron Williams, outperformed Trevor Lawrence at the Manning Passing Academy. This one's for them because the last 20 years, in particular, you have an entire adult generation that have no connective tissue to the University of Miami's success. They've been a national punchline. They've been laughed at by this show. And it doesn't just stop with this season. It's, I know this brand of Miami guy, these people around this program. It's all show. It's all flash paper. Can they actually turn things around? Or is it just going to be another one of these cycles of Al Golden winning the press conference, of Manny Diaz, the new Miami? What's going to separate these guys, Mario Cristobal, from actually turning it around? Bear skepticism Skepticism. Skepticism was a little different than what had played out over the course of the Internet and/or show. They did turn it around. Miami is here now. I don't think Miami is going anywhere either because this arrow is pointing up, this is the new reality for Miami. This was the blueprint.

Don Levatard. Football. Football. Football. Football.

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

Chris Cody, I'm going to need your help this week governing all of this Because the Mike victory lap has started long before the game itself, and because of the way the show is working right now, I haven't talked about what might have been the craziest NFL week in the history of NFL weeks. It begins with John Harbaugh being fired in a week. When you look at what the last crazy week has been, it begins with John Harbaugh getting fired in a game that would have resulted maybe in Mike Tomlin's firing, getting started as everyone plays nothing but close games.

That's how Losers Leave Town match goes.

The week ends with Mike Vrabel, thrilled with a bloody mouth, laughing at his brother because is the chargers are going to get Justin Herbert killed. They're asking Justin Herbert, and Mike Vrabel is laughing with blood in his mouth. All of the games in the between are crazy and close. Three of them yesterday, the first three, The first three NFL games go to the two-minute warning, fourth quarter with the team down. That team wins. And then the fourth that doesn't do it is Philadelphia because the defending champions go down to a knee. What an amazing week. Week of professional football. I don't think it's knee jerk for everything that's happened over the course of the last week. Just in games, those packers, that's the worst loss in playoff history. That's the worst loss there's ever been in the history of the NFL playoffs to lose that game in that situation.

They melted down, Dan. And it wasn't just the miss kicks, everybody wants to go after McManus. There were so many procedural things. It looked like Lafleur had never been in that situation before.

That's It's been the bear's entire season, though.

It has been.

Caleb Williams will play like shit for three quarters, and then he's just awesome in the fourth quarter. That's not a style.

That's not sustainable. That's asinine. Look, the last one they won against the packers, it was 16 to 6 late with three minutes left, and somehow the bears won. And this one was crazier. This one was more insane when you're going, you're down 11 and it's fourth and nine. And there's no way you can win that football game.

Is it hyperbolic to say, Caleb Williams rolling to his left off balance, slipping on the turf, finding Roma Dunzé on the sideline? That's one of the great clutch playoff throws ever, right? Because the game's over.

He's so good, Caleb Williams. Seven fourth-quarter comebacks, including the playoff. Seven fourth-quarter comebacks.

And Ben Johnson running off the field, the packers, for that. Yeah. It's a new order, man. She's great.

I love that.

Dan, I'm being that Tony is afraid, almost too shy to hand out Caffecito. That's asinine.

That's not the point. The point is, you guys are talking about the NFL, and I'm getting ready to do my top five at some point, but they're going to hand out coffee that we just bought. We just poured it all beautiful stuff. How do you want me to hand out one coffee at a time? This? Here you go, sir.

You got to get a tray.

You got to get a train.

You got to get a train. Shout behind you. Be like, Hey, free coffee. Come on over. Tony, my apologies for not making this clearer to I wanted you to throw a little party on that corner where you gathered everyone around and bought them all cortaditos. What's so hard about televising that?

There we go, Rose. Here's the thing. Rose, the only one we're doing is una colada.

Everybody did just turn their head.

Un cortadito. Really quick, really quick. Cortadito is basically a small café con leche. It's una colada cut with milk, which is why it's called cortadito.. Thumbs up right here. No sabes mucho, pero sabes que están ganando. Están ganando en el campeonato. Vamos. There it is. There it is.

The most Cuban sports moment in the history of Miami. Way to go, Tony. One guy gave me a thumbs up. Tony, we'll check in with you all week. One guy gave me a thumbs up.

It's not exactly the Ratskiller.

Okay, no, wait a minute. I want Tony to find somebody who doesn't speak English who believes in the hurricane.

Those two guys walked away really fast.

I'm not going to believe that my people are going to represent me this poorly to the world.

Oye, the huracanes. The guy gave me Oh, that guy gave me a thumbs up. There you go. That guy gave me a thumbs up.

Also, pick up a paper.

He walked inside, though.

People aren't so inclined to just speak to someone coming up to them asking questions these days.

Well, okay. That's my bubble.

The paper, what's that?

Maybe we talk politics. What do you think? That's my bubble right there. All right, Tony, we'll check back in with you. Thank you. Keep buying shots for those people. Bring back the expense report. It'll be $83, even if you buy them for the next three hours.

You see how those two guys just turned around and left real quick? It's the second they saw a camera.

History is being written. We panned away, and we go back, and those guys were gone. They probably should be gone. Well, so now we're full on dangerous. We're weaponized in the streets. He's not wrong when I'm sitting there talking to you guys before the show and you guys are arguing about whether that Mike McDaniel photo is is even real about him on some merry-go-round wearing full Gucci over the weekend because he's going to get a great job.

It's definitely real.

It's real.

Can confirm.

Everybody was saying it wasn't real. They said it couldn't be real.

No, I found a second photo of him taking a photo with a family, not just on that coaching carousel.

I mean, wearing the all Gucci on a carousel at Disney World is a wild choice, but I respect it. I have a small bit of morsel of dolphin thing that isn't quite news, but I think you'll find interesting. This is how it happened with McDaniel. He was in an exit meeting with one of his players. So he's going forward as if he's coaching in the next season. He's in an exit meeting, and Steven Ross bursts into the room in the middle of an exit meeting, and then everybody looks at each other because Steven Ross can come in whenever he wants, I guess. And the players' exit meeting was over, and that was Mike McDaniel's That's how it happened. I don't know if there's a right way to do that, but Harbaugh became available, and Steven Ross is bursting into an exit meeting that becomes Mike McDaniel's exit. Roy's laughing because it's crazy that that's how it happened, right?

Yeah, probably not the best way to fire somebody.

Mike McDaniel is planning the next season because five minutes before or whatever, right? No one had told him, Don't plan for next season. There's no reason to have an exit meeting with players anymore. You're not going to be around them unless you want to leave the files for the next guy. File up that. But that meeting ended right there. Steve-ross just walks in without explaining. Everyone just looked at each other. It's like, Oh, okay, this meeting's over.

Doesn't it feel like, though, that Mike McDaniel last week was trying to put into the universe that he's still the coach. At the beginning of the week, he said he's going to be part of GM meetings. No, not really. Then he's doing the exit interview. It's like, This is not... He was putting into the universe that he's still the coach.

Tony, we'll come back to you. Keep looking for places to get into and things to buy for people. Find me people who want to be on camera, not people who are avoiding cameras. Zazlo, you said to me this morning, and I couldn't believe it, it's time to trade Bam out of bio.

It is. It's time to trade Bam out of bio. Mike, smile. Hold on a second. You got to let me give my reasoning here, all right? Right now, the heat stink. They do. They absolutely stink.

It's a good week for Mike Ryan being right.

Oh, boy, they stink. This is maybe the worst week of my life. They've lost four out of five. They got smoked by the Pacers, all right? Then last night, predictably, they got killed by the Thunder in the second half. Bam out of bio this month is averaging 10 points. He's shooting 35%. He's going through the worst stretch of his career.

Stop shooting threes. Just please, dear God, stop shooting threes.

He's been really, really bad offensively. But here's the thing. I don't feel good about saying that the heat should trade Bam out of bio. In theory, I I don't want them to trade Bam at a bio. It's not like where I sit here and I tell you for 50 consecutive days that the Dolphins should fire Mike McDane, and I'm doing that because I don't think he's a good head coach. I think Bam is a good player. I would like Bam to remain on the team. But here's the thing. His salary goes up to $50 million next season. There is no world where Bam out of bio making $50 million against your salary cap is going to be a championship team. There's no world where that's possible.

Mike Ryan has been blown away and is just... This is unpleasant. Chris, Roy, help me here. Jeremy, what are we going to be able to do with this this week? Mike, is it just going to be a victory lap all week on all things?

He was speaking in the third person back here earlier. Sure was.

Mike is so happy. I'm glad you're happy, but our rationale is different. You want Bam out because you don't like him. I like Bam out.

No, it's not that he doesn't like him. No, he's a fantastic player within this team. He does things that special on defense. I just know what his ceiling is if he's your best player. And since this franchise is incapable of bearing- He's been saying that for three years, it's why he checked out on the team. Look, I got sick of being lumped in with the Hawks and Bulls in the play-in zone. They're still there. Yeah, they are.

How can anyone make a case that Bam's salary going up to $50 million next year is a way that you can win?

I'm not going to put Jeremy in that position right now. Not yet. But the place that I'd like to stay is what you guys are describing, and it's crazy to think of the last five years birthing this, where you're saying what you just said. When the game spreads out so much that Bam, who can guard all of your guys still somehow and is trying his very hardest on defense because he makes them a good defensive team by himself, he makes them a good defensive team, that that guy hasn't expanded his game enough to the three-point line so that you trust him because he doesn't want to be shooting from out there. His game was mid-range. That that guy has been evolved past in the sport. You can't win with Bam on a bio who when I first I saw him on a bio who, when I first saw him, dribbling behind his legs. I'm not kidding to you. I'm like, A person who looks like that generally doesn't handle the ball that way. Oh, look, here come the Joel Embiids of the world. You guys are telling me that that guy is now a disposable piece when he's one of the best heat players of all time.

He is an all-star perennially. He brings it and gives every effort to be great. Zazlo, it's shocking to me to hear you say, It's done if you keep him on your team.