Transcript of Hour 1: Owen Cote (feat. Chuck Todd)

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

Chris Cody, I'm a little afraid of everything that's happening here. Zazla was explaining to you the perils of live television. Chuck Todd certainly knows about that, long-time journalist, former NBC news chief political analyst and moderator of Meet the Press, his podcast, The Chuck Todd cast, is going to be celebrated here. Now, you guys like that name? It's a good name. You like the Chuck Todd cast? It's really good.

Appreciate it.

Thanks. Thank you. Chuck's with now, but also we've got this cooking segment going on that seems like a bit of an Apocalypse. We've got bad audio. It seems like the camera worked for the bear, except by accident instead of on purpose.

It seems like you might miss me up there.

No, Jeremy, up there either. Let's go to... Hold on a second, Chuck. I know there's serious journalistic things to talk about, but Greg Cody, give me an update on where you guys are on this soup off, please.

I have just cooked and integrated my vegetables into the soup, and really, I'm going to be done fairly soon.

How are you feeling right now? Are you as confident as you were before?

Yes, I am. I'm very confident. My soup has a little color now with beautiful chopped carrots. I think we're going to be great. I love the way it looks. I think I'm going to love the way it is.

All right, hold on. Chuck, hold on just a second. I'll see if you have any questions here. You know Greg Cody, and the problem is if I throw you to Greg Cody, he's going to get so delighted. I get it. He's going to get so delighted. He'll get distracted. He'll just be delighted that a famous person knows who he is. So I'm scared to throw you and the show toward him. Greg, can you just ask Mike Ryan how he's feeling about things, please?

Mike, how are you feeling?

I don't like that I'm helping you. You didn't come with olive oil. You didn't even come with a set of knives. You don't have a chopping board. You're dulling on my knives. I don't know why I'm helping this old man at all on his birthday. It's a competition.

Okay, Mike just dropped a cigarette ash into his dish.

Into his dish or your dish? Okay. All right, we're wasting Chuck Todd's time here. All right, Chuck, do you have anything to say Greg Cody? You've known him for a long time. What would you like to say to him before we get started here?

Are you talking to Greg or me?

You, Chuck.

Oh, well, I'm just ecstatic that there's ash in the soup because no good soup. There's nothing that makes me want to eat than knowing there's cigarette smoking going on right at the same time that we're preparing the food. I just thought that was an excellent secret ingredient.

What is your relationship with Greg Cody?

I think I was a guest on his podcast twice.

That's it?

Not entirely sure, though. He thinks.

He returned my call, You didn't, over the years. He cared that I was from Miami, You didn't. Other than that, that's how me and Greg are tight.

You and I have never spoken before. You were at the Miami game, Notre Dame game, were you not? Are you a lunatic?

I was. Are you a lunatic? I was. I'm a seasoned ticket holder. I have been off and on for me, off and on for 30 years. My family Going back to the '50s.

Season ticket holder. Did you go to the Bethune-Cookman game?

No, I didn't go to the Bethune-Cookman game, and perhaps I wasn't- I was going to go to the University of Miami, but that's neither here nor there. All right, but I do pay my daughter's tuition. Is that okay?

That's fair. Yeah, your daughter. All right.

She's a senior there. Okay. So cut me a little slack. My mom went there. My aunt went there.

Is that enough? So you're like a judas to the family, going to George Washington University. You betrayed your parents. No football team. Yeah, well, you chose that. You chose to not go for a football team.

No, they had no football team, which made it easier.

So you failed as a hurricane?

Yes. Okay. Huge failure.

Just compared to your family, I mean. Absolutely.

Huge failure.

You are less hurricane than your family, and they have that over you.

They do, but I have an honorary degree now from that place. I did the commencement a couple of times, so they won't give me an honorary doctorate, but at least they gave me what it really What it means is that they just ask for money more often.

It means you're a tropical depression. It means they're hurricanes and you're at the tailgate.

Fair enough. But somebody's got to pay for this. Somebody's got to pay Carson Beck's salary.

You can't buy your way into Iron Arrow. Maybe an honorary degree now.

Golden Cane could buy his way in.

You can, but not into Iron Arrow. That's what Chuck Todd is angling for.

Iron Arrow is tough. I'm hoping my daughter gets in on that. We'll see. We'll find out in a few months.

But what is your greatest of sports allegiances? Is it that or the packers?

No, it's the hurricanes. It's the University of Miami. So every childhood memory... Come on. I grew up... My first memory of going to a football game was watching Otis Anderson play football. Back then, Miami He third and eight, and the best way to get a first down was to pitch it to him. When your formative years as a sports fan culminate with what we got to witness from '83 to '90, I live and die by him. Chuck- Live and die by him. My mood goes up and down, even in the Al Golden years, even in the... You name it, all of those horrible years over the last two decades. Every year, I have too much hope, and every year, my heart got broken.

Chuck, your favorite moment in the stands at the Orange Bowl is what?

It was the wiping out Deion Sanders in Florida State. 31-0. 31-0. When they came in, And they did the music video, and I believe it was the first game of the season. That's my favorite. Probably second favorite is Devin Hester's first game, if you remember, the first time he touched the ball, he returned it for a countdown.

Did you get a game ball? What is that ball over your head with your name that says Miami Hurricanes?

It means I gave them a lot of money.

Oh. That's what it means. You give them a lot of money and they send you one of those.

They send you one of those. It comes in this elaborate box and you're like, Boy, what is this? And you're like, Oh, it's a deflated football. Okay, well, I have a podcast studio, so I need to put something in there.

I have so many questions to ask you that are not sports-related, but- I was also at the Fluty game, by the way, which is a searing memory in my head. Jeremy, look this up for me because this is pretty funny. Arch Schleester. Just look it up for me. Worst gambling losses and stuff because he's involved with three bets where he's in the middle of something like that fluty game. Can you tell me, when you look back at your Miami life, Chuck, the things that are imprinting, is there something that's more imprinting than Miami football?

No. I mean, look, as far as for public consumption, yeah, it's Miami football.

Now that begs a follow-up. I know it does.

Meet the press guy. What else am I supposed to... I'm going to keep answering anything more than that. My pride in Miami is University of Miami football through and through. And I will say something that is real, which is I don't think I would be good at what I do, and maybe some people don't think I'm good at what I do, if it was not for growing up in Miami in the '80s. Because I do believe Miami in the '80s, '70s and '80s, is America today. And in some ways, it always gives me a little bit of hope because we became a cooler and better city over time as we went through all of the cultural stuff and all of this stuff that the rest of the country is going through now. I just am glad I grew up in Miami when I did because I think it makes me smarter about understanding what's happening in America today.

Hold on a second here because I want to get to all of your thoughts on what's happening in America today. But Greg Cody and Mike Ryan are still slaving, and they're finishing up here. Greg, give us an update here. Tell us what's going on up there with Mike Ryan.

Well, I think we're both on the homestretch. My soup is done. The flavors are just marrying and integrating. I can't speak for Mike's soup. He's still adding willy-nilly. He's still adding a bunch of stuff. I don't know whether he's dissatisfied with the product. I can't speak for him. But my soup is ready. To go.

Mike, how confident are you feeling? Because he's been bold and he thinks he's going to win his first competition around here. Old man, 71 years old, birthday today is 0 and 3 in these. How are you feeling?

I'm feeling pretty good about the soup. It's getting there We should be ready to go by Friday. Chuck, NATO plane shot down Russian drones over Poland. How close are we to World War III?

Greg, how close are we to World War III, Greg?

I would say four and a half years.

Oh, got it.

Chuck Todd, Over, Under.

I didn't hear that last answer. What was his over, under?

He said four and a half. Four and a half years before World War.

I'm certainly worried about that with China. Unfortunately, If you're going to take... I hope it's a never, but it's either under or never.

So it's over. You want it to be over?

I want it to be over, but I fear it's under. When you think about China and Taiwan, But right at four and a half years- We're really going to go down that road. China has got this whole plan to be ready to take Taiwan by 2027. That's less than four and a half years.

But if we get to the four and a half, then it's never, Dan. You don't get it.

Yeah, I think he wants it to be off the board. It's an incomplete bet.

Meaning you get rid of it.

Okay, but where we are presently in America, Chuck Todd, this day, today, right now, as we speak, have you ever been more terrified about the future of our country?

In the first two months in Washington, DC, after 9/11, I was terrified that that was the first time I stashed cash, had go bags to leave. Because I'll promise you this, the first The nukes aren't going to hit Miami. The first nukes are hitting where I live. So that's probably the most personally scared I was those first couple of months after 9/11. But the fact is, not to totally bring a downer to your show here. But this entire economic war that Trump is engaging in with tariffs, the last time we had this, that the largest economy in the world kept trying to push tariffs on everybody Everybody, and everybody responded selfishly. It led to World War II. We are certainly pushing policies right now that are only antagonistic with other countries, that only encourage everybody to be worrying about themselves. The more nationalistic every country gets, the more likely you're going to go to war.

Chuck, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to stop you there. We've got an update from the kitchen up there. Mike Ryan and Greg Cody, what do you have for us, please? I some sounds being made back there. Was Mike yelling at Greg? Mike, what's happening up there?

Greg didn't bring pepper. Greg didn't bring salt. Greg didn't bring anything. Why am I helping this, man? Anyways, I think my soup is pretty ready.

All right, we're going to then get down here, bring the soups down here. I appreciate it.

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Dan Levatard. This is the quickest it goes. Hey, this is the Quickest It Goes. Stugatz. Everybody, this is the Quickest It Goes.

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

Chuck, how much worse are these ice rates going to get?

I think they're going to get a lot worse. I think this is The worse the economy gets, the more you're going to see these ice rates.

Chuck, is there a sound in your room right now that's not my fault, not my company's fault? It's you being the unprofessional here.

That's not coming from me. I'm in my studio.

All right, perfect. Chris Cody said it was your fault.

That's right after he had just praised himself. He was like, I'm like a DJ back here operating the board.

Chuck, how do you think you'd fare in the Apocalypse?

I'd like to think I know how to survive. Yeah?

What do you think? A couple of weeks?

I'd like to give myself a couple of weeks before I'm Over under four and a half weeks.

If the fate is you're going to be eaten in three weeks, do you want to live those three weeks not getting eaten? Just to get eaten three weeks anyways?

Well, I'd like to think I'm going to try to fight and think that I'm not going to be eating, that I could fight it. We all think we could survive something like this. The fact of the matter is, 95% of us are done. I would be terrible.

No, Chuck, this show does not feel that way. I have said before that in prison, for example, I would be a vending machine for sex.

I'd be holding pockets.

It would be a bad situation.

I don't- So you're a survivor is what you're saying. You'll do whatever it takes to survive.

My father said to me, Better to live a coward than die a hero. He said it very early in his life. An Apocalypse would be very bad to me. I don't know how you feel about gun ownership, but the fact that we're talking about any of this ridiculousness is something that seems more feel now than it has at any point in my lifetime. I did not experience 9/11 the way you did. I was in Dave Wadstead's office. He had a free agent coming in. He wasn't paying any attention to what was happening that day, so I didn't have enough worldliness to even understand what was happening then. I feel that way now, though. I feel right now like there are no shortage of people trying to put money away in bank accounts elsewhere because they worry about the future of our country.

Oh, 100%. I think the fact that you see gold at an all-time high, you see more people doing crypto, that's not because they're great investments.

What worries you most? The things that you're talking about here, these are extremes we've never discussed before.

Well, you guys started at World War III and then said, Okay, it's hard to come to. Look, we're having all this doom and gloom. I actually think we'll get through this moment, I think. But I do worry that if we continue down this road where we decide we don't give a damn about anybody else in the world. Everything is about us first. We're only going to create more enemies. Look what we just did to the South Koreans. Good luck. Don't be an American and go to Seoul this week, okay? They're so angry at us because of the raid in Georgia. Anti-americanism is going up, up and up. So a sustained amount of leadership, like we're experiencing now with policies that antagonize our friends, let alone our enemies, is not a sustainable way to go. But while I'm short term pessimistic about, I think the economy is going to crater in six months and things like that, I do think we, the American voter, we eventually figure it out and we eventually do the right thing. It just takes us a while. We have to experience the pain. I think, unfortunately, we're now starting to experience the pain.

What is the fairest way to report, What is that sound? I think if everyone's hearing it, we might as well address it because Chuck Todd is alleging it's not him, and I see you saying that's him.

I'm not saying it's Chuck. I have every pod down, though, that I have.

Okay, but accuse him publicly then so that I can get out of the garage.

I'm sitting here. I wish I could do a pan around. There is nobody in this room. Okay, this is nothing.

I believe you, Chuck.

I'm on Chuck's side, too.

All right, so I am alone and hearing the voices in my head.

No, we hear the voices, but history would prove it's not Chuck.

I hear the voices, too. I feel like I'm hearing the kitchen still.

Okay, we will figure that out. Let's go back to the kitchen. We've got Greg and Mike, for some reason, still up there, still staring. We think we've got ambient sound from up there. If any of you have anything for Chuck Todd, get your asses down here so we can keep doing our show a little more professionally than we've done it so far, please.

Yeah, well, Greg and I were pretty feisty, and then we heard that interview, and we realized that pretty much in about three weeks, everybody's going to be making soup to survive. So we're going to be done with this because I think we're just generally checked out on society.

Okay, Very good. We really are. All right, get down here.

So the soup off is a tie?

No, we're going to taste it down here. They're going to bring it down here now. It's not a tie.

Another habit we have to break is Dan just ruining every show with World War III talking cheese.

What have you been hearing in recent weeks about the health rumors around Trump? What is the fairest way to report any of this? How do you take the politics out of Biden's a danger because he's clearly having mental atrophy? There's a bit of a madman in the White House in ways that a lot of people understand. In.

Donald Trump is a 79-year-old man who never worked out a day in his life, who doesn't eat healthy, and he's got all the problems that somebody that age who didn't at all take care of himself, doesn't eat healthy, He has. You ever go into a Walmart or a Publix and there's people riding the scooter because they can't walk the aisles? They can walk, but they don't like to walk because it hurts, and their ankles are twice the size of their He stays here. Look, this is what age does. So I look at it that way, and I assume they're lying to us. They're not telling us the truth about his health. The last time they gave us his height and weight, I think it was the equivalent of the middle linebacker of the Eagles, 6'3, 2'40.

No, that was 6'3, 2'40. That was amazing. Chuck, hold on just a second. Billy, why are you and Jeremy laughing at the great frustration on Chris Cody and how he's turned redder than he actually He is on the back of his neck because another stray sound got out on the board, and he's saying, This isn't coming from us, and I'm convinced that it is. I'm convinced that this is our fault. Billy, what?

I'm convinced it's not this room's fault. That's what I'm convinced.

Whose fault do you think?

I just don't want to blame this on Chuck.

Chuck, does this happen to you often in these hits?

I'm clearly going to get blamed for this as soon as this segment is over. Because if I were Chris, I would do that. Hey, that dude's lying. He didn't want to admit it. Look, We all just talk. It's all about survival of the fittest here, right? And he's got to survive longer with you than I do. But it isn't me, but I know that I'm going to get blamed for this.

Chuck, there were some people questioning your last answer saying they didn't believe that you frequent Walmart. When you mentioned Walmart, people wondering when the last time you went to a Walmart was.

I got a place in Pensacola. I go to Pensacola. I have a place there. I live part-time there at times on the beach, and There's Publix and Walmart when you got to go get stuff. So yeah, I go to a Walmart more often. If you're a political reporter and you're not going, in all honesty, I do believe you've got to frequent where America goes, not where East Coast elites go. If you want to just have an idea of how American voters are experiencing things. Not to be too- You're a target man, though.

We can agree. I know. You go to Walmart out of necessity. You're not flying spirit.

No, I wouldn't fly spirit to fly you, to rescue you. I wouldn't do that to anybody.

You check out any Pensacola Blue Wauhus games, Chuck? I have. I have.

That's the Marlins. That's the Marlins AA franchise. No, you guys were questioning my... Beautiful ballpark there. Chuck, I'm not comfortable with what's happened here.

They are absolutely assuming that you've arrived at a level Fame that you simply can't be an every man. They presume that based on what? On Chuck Todd's credentials? You did put that on him.

Who's they? Me?

You guys in- No, we're talking Wahhus, man.

Bubble Watson, the team owner. Yeah, I just wanted nobody to know what he thinks.

In That's the offense that you're taking, right? That they would assume that you would be too good to walk into a Walmart?

I'm not taking offense. I get it. I know people stereotype, and stereotypes are around for a reason. I have plenty of my peers that would never I got to foot in a Walmart.

But you drew the line pretty quick on spirit airlines.

Oh, 100%. I'm a total flying snob. As much time anybody that's been a political reporter or a beat reporter in sports or whatever, and you fly more than once a week, I think you've earned the right to be a travel snob and a flight snob and all of those things. No, I will make no apologies about being a flight snob.

How can you explain to the people without seeming political, reaction extraordinary, hyperventilating, the place that you are with fearing today, the collapse of both the economy and the democracy. When else in your life have you felt however it is that you feel right now in these days, weeks, and months?

Look, I don't think we've ever felt this way when it comes to the democracy in our lifetimes. I only comfort myself by realizing that we did go through this in the 1920s. We lost our mind after the pandemic in 1918. We banned alcohol right after the pandemic. As a society, we lost our minds for about a decade. The worst graft in the history of government took place in the 1920s. This ridiculous tariff business took place in the 1920s. Now, all of it led to World War II, which is why we should take this, why we should realize that, Hey, let's learn a a lesson from history, please. But I guess I look at it and I do still have enough faith that we'll get through this, we'll get past this. And part of it is because he's 79 years old. He isn't going to live forever.

Jesus is what you said back there, Chris? You said Jesus. We started at World War III, and him telling you that Trump's not going to live forever makes you... That's the one that makes you say Jesus.

No, I've said Jesus a few times during this segment.

I think he was I tell you, I didn't expect this to go this dark as quickly.

Yeah, that's what happens here. I was just going to say this is why I love your show, Dan, because you go dark fast. You go right to the darkest spot.

Did you just call me Dave? Yeah, that's fine.

No, I said Dan. Yeah, that's fine. I said Dan.

Let's run back. You know Chuck went to Kylian. You went to Kylian, right, Chuck? I did. So Dan, who else went to Kylian was Tony. And Tony told us that he used to be afraid walking down the hallways, that someone would walk up to him and snatch his chain right off of his neck. So, Chuck, are you more scared of World War III or getting your chain snatched off your neck at Killian High School?

It's funny that Killian has become this negative symbol. It was the other Palmetto when I went there in the '80s. Now that I have a lot of opinions about what's happened in the Miami Dade school system. But the fact that Killian has become- Top five? The fact that Killian has become, apparently, the last high school you want to go to in South Miami, Dade County, is pretty sad. But I have heard that it is not necessarily the place you want to walk the halls these days.

As the former moderator of Meet the Press, probably one of the greatest press shows of all time, of most distinction- Sports reporters. What has happened, that should have been in Mike's top 10 yesterday. That was disrespectful that Mike Ryan's top 10 sports shows didn't have the sports reporters.

How about Inside Stuff not being on his top 10? Come on.

Yeah, there were some flaws in that list. But the state of the American media today, as someone who's been a guardian for it, who cares about some of the things that I care about here. More dark. Oh, my God.

Typical Dave.

This guy.

Luckily, the tropics are quieter.

You're hearing about.

All right, get out of here.

His podcast, The Chuck Todcast. You can get it wherever it is. You get your podcast. Thank you, Chuck. I appreciate it.

So this was a good idea to do this show, right?

Yes. Well, I don't know. I don't know what trouble. You're a serious journalist.

You're a serious person. No, but I'm also independent. I would have that last question. The problem is the corporate ownership now. Media doesn't have a chance if you're owned by a corporation, a big, massive corporation. You just don't have a chance.

That's why Metal Art Media is free, and you see how well that goes during your segment. We're free. We don't got any responsibilities to anybody. But our audio doesn't It worked.

Hey, Chuck, start of next year, you want to be our Blue Wahoo's correspondent? Once a week, stop in. Let us know how the AA Farm team is doing for the Marlins.

Not every week, but I'll be your reporter once a month. Yeah, I'd pull that off once a month. Awesome.

Can't wait.

There you go. Go ahead. One minute segment. Go ahead and make it with him, and we'll do Matthew Berry for three minutes, and maybe we'll get good at you being less worried.

And 30 seconds of Ray Hudson.

Do things quickly. Yes, do things well quickly. Other speakers doing them well quickly.

I wasn't worried at all what you just said.

Chuck, thank you. I appreciate the time, I don't think that he respects me anymore.

He loves you, Dave. I want to relive. He is still here. Before you get out of here, let's relive if he did indeed call you Dave or Dan. He did.

He absolutely did.

This is why the second time- All right, here we go.

Let's play.

Chuck, we weren't talking to you. Chuck, have you done television before? Chuck, have you done television before? Hold on a second.

All right, I'm going to hit the sound right now.

This is why I love your show, Dave. Dave. This is why I love your show, Dave.

This is why people think the media lies, Chuck Todd. You've been caught in a lie. You've been caught dead in a lie.

I love how it was cut off there. That's all I'm going to say. No. It was cut off.

You think he's that good? What evidence do you have in this segment that he's good at his job? You give me all the evidence you have that he would be that quick at that.

I love it. Wow, you're using that as your defense. That's pretty good. Incompetence is the defense.

You think he could edit it that quickly to betray you?

That is why I love your show, Dane.

Chuck Todd.

Anyway, I- Liar. Fair enough. Liar. There it is. All my critics, you did it. You exposed me.

I finally got him. You exposed me. This woke turd. Get out of here.

He might have been calling you Dane, like former Blue Wahu, Dane Myers.

I'm of God.

That's exactly what it is. I'm going to take that.

Goodbye, guys. See you later. He did call me Dave. Don Lebatard.

I'm not going to apologize.

I wouldn't expect you to apologize. You're a giant infant. Okay. You have no control over your emotions. You You have no control over your emotions. When you're calling someone you know an idiot, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it, and you're a fool for saying it. Okay.

Stugatz.

You're a fool. I was following you.

You're locking in right now. Are you locking in on us.

Yeah, right.

Let's drop the gloves, pal.

You should be thanking me.

For what?

Every day. For what?

For what I've done around this character. The second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool? No, no, no, no, no, seriously.

Jeremy just whispered-Seriously, pal, I've added 10 years to your career.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Let's change the imaging of our show to the Dave Levatard show. Let's do that. Can we do that, please? Let's do that right now.

No. Where does our imaging hair?

You should know that.

Right behind you.

I thought you meant audio-wise. Where do you hear like, This is the Dan Levatard show?

That's imaging. These are images.

This went well.

It did not go well. The soup off. I don't know where we are on the soup off. Can you explain to me why the audio was so bad on the soup off? It's 14 floors away. Because I wasn't there. Is that what happened? Because Jeremy wasn't there? Zazel, what would you say about how we executed all of that audio-wise?

I thought the audio was fine with the soup off. I do want to get to the bottom of, where was the other programming that we were hearing?

It was a Zoom issue. It was not coming from Chuck. It was Coming from Zoom. His issue. We figured it out. You can't turn that off. When we have him pot it up, anything that comes out over Zoom is going to come out of there.

All right, that's probably enough of that. That is the peril of live television that Zazla was explaining to you before. Greg, Doug, you smell delicious. Thank you. You smell... No, but he smells like lentil and sausage. He does not smell like coconut. He does not smell like coconut milk, but he just came in here. You smell it, right, Zazlo?

Yeah, I'm into it. It's not a soup.

It's mine.

I don't think it's the scent of your soup. It's my soup.

My soup is very dramatic.

It's my soup. That's funny. Have we decided how we're going to do this now?

Zazlo, what is the smell in here? Would you say it's closer to sausage and lentil than it is to anything coconut milk?

It smells like lentil.

It doesn't smell like Thai food.

Give me that orange. Check out how I love Thai food. It smells like lentil.

I don't think you know what you're talking about.

Mike was adding ingredients left and right, right-Imagine that, a chef adding ingredients. Not a good sign when after you say your soup is done, your We're still adding ingredients, including water? Yeah. Who puts water?

Because I assumed more people would want to have this because it was so good.

Okay, we'll see.

We're cooking for the masses here. Are we ready to do this?

I think the way that I want to do this, Chris Cody, is I will try it and I will vote. Zazla will try it and Zazla will vote. If we have a tie, then the room will decide. All four of you will try it and all four of you will decide.

I wanted, though, only three, not mine.

Do you have any food allergies? I wanted this to land on Dan's lap. I was hoping the shipping dinner go first, Zaz second, and then Dan breaks the tie, but we can do your way.

Let's bring them in here and let's get started and let's get Jeremy to give us so that we can get the payoff here before we off of live.

Give me a healthy portion, please.

Of which one?

Both. Mine.

Remember whose birthday it is? Zazel, you're eating a lot around here.

Whose birthday is it?

I don't know. The food, it's there. It's spread.

Jeremy, the reason I asked you about Arch Schleester, by the way, in the middle of Chuck Todd telling us his Doug Fluty game story is because I saw the story the other day that Arch Schleester was just recently arrested with two crack pipes on him and going to jail. It's one of the saddest stories you will hear in the story of addiction in sports. But Arch Schleester, 65 years old now in failing health, is in the middle of three of the biggest sports upsets of all time. Arch Schleester is in the middle of these. Is he not, Jeremy? Is that the story that you ended up finding? It's like one of the all-time bad beat, unluckyest, the Cosmos hate you stories of all time.

We'll go back and find those results. All I know is that he had gotten to a point when he was betting $50,000 a pop on three-team college basketball parlays after borrowing $300,000 from banks just on Good Damon's signature. And in April of 1983, the FBI arrested four bookies that allegedly threatened to break his passing arm and harm his family because he didn't pay them $159,000 that he owed them.

What's wrong, dad? What's wrong, Greg?

He's still putting ingredients in his soup.

It It looked like Mike, who's preparing now the bowls, it looked like he just poured a little crushed red pepper.

How come I'm not out there preparing my bowl?

That's what I've been asking.

No, first Mike is going to serve his, and then he'll serve yours.

You got to get just the right amount of protein, lentils, and salt.

That's why Mike was like, I'm not letting them serve it. I need to serve these. Mike should be bringing it in now. Dan will be our first tester.

You guys are all sharing a bowl.

Tainting the jury here.

What's up, Owen Cody?

Owen, four.

That's what you're going to be. Fun.

Hey, fun.

Owen.

That's very confident. I really didn't know that Mike was someone who could cook.

We still don't.

We still don't know that. Try a bite.

He's awfully confident.

Let's keep the mic a little closer. There we go. Oh, there we go. Jumped right in. Let's see. Hold on. Get the mic in front of you so we can really hear this.

That wasn't a good look. He did make uplift. He did that thing that went downward, where now it's like, how do I spare the feelings?

No, it's good.

It's delicious. I'm convinced.

What do you think of that reaction?

I would say I would like- It's a very...

There's a lot going He needs a few more bites.

Okay. Biting soup is always a bad start.

Is this the one with ash in it?

That would be the one that has ash in it. Now, does he pass that bowl over to Zaz? Are we going to get another bowl?

Yeah, they're sharing a spoon, too, I think.

Why are you spit it in Zaz's mouth. No, I love the chicken in it.

Are you on sharing spoons and stuff? Like Zaz, is this something you're into? I'm out on the sharing spoon. Yeah, you're out on it.

Are you in a mother bird situation?

Would you go different spoon, same bowl?

I like the texture.

Or you prefer a full- I'd prefer my own bowl, but I I could do the same bowl. We're not sharing the spoon.

I'll get you a spoon, pal.

All right. It's got a good kick.

Get two spoons. I want my dad to try it, too. I want him to be able to taste his competition.

What? No, I think that both of these guys are going to like this soup because it's good. But I know your dad's a great cook, and I know his sausage and lentil is also good.

I'm hearing a lot of good, not great.

Well, I will tell you that I will know your father's critique with this. I know what he's going to say is his critique, but I'm going to eat it all before you guys get spunes. I would think that somebody would go get a spoon for our participants here.

We could probably have enough bowls for everybody. I don't know why we're doing it this way.

It's a good second guess, but this is what happens with live television. Three spoons wouldn't have been hard in a company of 30 people to get three spoons, I think.

Four What are you doing? There's 50 people out there.

I'm paying all of them, but none of them are getting spoon.

Oh, nice. I got my own bowl here.

This is good right here.

You guys get paid?

Did you take out the carrots? I don't need carrots.

I'm glad I don't need to share it. I'm glad I can have it. What do you mean you don't need carrot?

I don't need carrot. Dad, whip around and share with Dan. All right. This is good. Here, he's going to pass it over to you, maybe.

No, I'll wait for him to eat over my shoulder.

There we go. Perfect.

All right, Zaz.

First now here. Come on over here. Now Zaz first. Here we go.

I got to avoid the carrots.

Do I take my headphones off?

I think you need the carrot so you get the full experience.

A carrot will not touch my lips.

How do we feel about how Zaz is holding the spoon here? That's solid, actually. You know what?

No, that's really effing good. See, that's- You like Thai food? That's really good.

Thai food. All right, Greg now going in for a sip here. What are you doing? All right. Blowing on a little bit.

Is it a sip of soup? I don't know. He's going to want it to be creamier. That's really good. A slurp of soup? He's going to want it to be thicker.

He just gave a shrugging.

Not great Good audio, him shrugging his shoulders, not saying a word. Not great for broadcasting.

Okay, it's slightly thin. My biggest negative critique would be that I'm getting very little coconut flavor, which should be a major star of this.

I Don't you want it to be subtle, I feel like?

It's got spice on it. It's got a good taste that stays with you after that. I'm looking forward. We got three minutes left to get to Greg.

I don't know what you got going on, Greg, but this is really good.

Did you have some of the faro? You had some of the faro? Yeah. You like the faro?

It's okay. It's good faro, huh? It's not my favorite. It's a good faro. It's well-cooked, but faro is not my favorite.

All right, Greg, go get your soup. Okay.

I didn't want to do the cream because he's got a cream allergy.

That's right. I forgot about us.

I'm respectful.

Now the shipping container will taste Mike's soup.

You guys are going to like that.

I don't really want to share soup with you guys. You have another one?

Did you guys get the red pepperflakes?

I do have some red pepperflakes in here. Yeah. All right. Billy does not want to share a bowl with me, so they're bringing another bowl for Billy. But I'll go first here.

I'm getting second.

Oh, chicken looks good. All right, here we go.

I don't need a lot of soup.

This is really good.

That's damn good soup. That's damn good.

You should do this every day.

I mean, are we not going to get PDQ now or something, though? Because I think it's still...

It's got the kick that you want. It's got some spice after that. You like it? I like it.

Good amount of chicken.

All right. I don't have soup yet.

It's coming in.

We'll get there.

Give me Billy's.

Jeremy's not having any?

I'd like to, but I don't have any soup. You want to give me? I'll share your soup.

All right, yeah. Here we go.

This was well planned, I think, in terms of being able to get everybody what it is that they needed when they needed it so we could do live television.

We're having a good time. All right, here we go, Jeremy. Now, Jeremy's going, It's hot. That's the My biggest beef with it, it's just really hot, so it's hard to get it.

Why would it be a beef?

Just because we're trying to taste it, but I don't want it scalding on it.

That's good soup.

It smells good. I tell you, it smells good. That's really good soup.

Everybody would like this soup. That is great.

All right. That's great soup. Yeah, that's what I would say, too. Now, Greg is going to bring in.

Greg's in big trouble. He is. But I think Mike made a better choice with his soup is the thing. When this is done well, this is a more delicious soup than almost all the other soups.

Mike's right. It does taste like Thai food.

Mike, that's cultural appropriation by Mike. That's spectacular. It feels like authentically Thai food. Whatever.

I love cultural appropriation.

All right, Greg's walking now for those listening. You love cultural?

Super, super. It's tasty, cultural appropriation. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. Does cultural appropriation taste good?

Well, where's the line between appropriation and honoring?

You know what I'm going to do here? This might foul up the experience that I have this taste in my mouth, the same I need a spoon going to...

You need to cleanse your palate.

Yeah, someone get us water?

Yeah, I need a water spoon.

Greg, thank you for cooking for us on your birthday.

You're welcome.

I will tell you, Greg's soup looks good.

It does look good, but Greg, I will I'm going to tell you that I'm worried about you. I don't think... Greg's in trouble. I don't think you're going to win. I love your lentil soup and your sausage. I just think he chose a better... I think he chose a better soup.

Greg, do you think it's a disadvantage that I tried his first?

No. I do think it's a disadvantage when one of the judges says, I'm not going to win before taking a bite.

And gave your competitor more time, if you remember correctly.

You got carrots in yours, too.

Not doing that.

Carrot. You don't like carrots?

I don't eat carrot. It'll help you see better. You never heard Bugs Bunny?

Yeah.

Did you try, Greg?

Mike, I wish I could have several bowls of that soup.

I am afraid that Mike's going to win by blowout.

You can't say that before you've tried the other one.

I just did try it. I just did try it.

Bad sign, Greg. If I said that, bad sign.

It's not a It's a bad soup. No, it's not a-It's a bad soup then.

It's a boop.

Billy, what do you think of that soup? Billy now is getting Mike's soup. Let's get Billy's judgment on Mike's soup.

Not the face you want.

It's good. It's good soup.

That's my phrase. Greg is a good soup.

That's high praise. Thank you.

Greg is coming in now.

People need to understand Greg is very good. It's got the consistency you want. I will tell you, his protein content and quality and amount is better than the other soup. It's a hardier soup. You'd agree with that.

I'm tasting my dad's right now for the first time. Here we go.

It's a hardier soup.

Greg's is a better meal, I would say.

It depends on what we're judging. We're going flavor?

Man, is This is good, too.

I'll tell you what, neither of these is PDQ, so I hope that's still coming.

You get that far-ro.

All right, now we vote.

Greg's in a bad spot. I think all of us just like coconut milk soup better than Greg's is good.

He's good. He's good. He has no coconut in it.

My God. My dad's is hardy. You are both so good. This is a good hardy soup.

All right, hold on. Let's do this now. There are five of us here.

Why doesn't anyone cook like this in my house?

Let's go around.

You're both better at this than you are at radio. I think you're great at radio.

They're both good at this, and one of them is good at radio. The soup that we have in front of us right now, Jeremy, if you had to vote, you would vote for. You got to vote. Don't worry about anybody's feelings. Don't worry about any birthdays. Mike. I'm sorry, Greg. Chris Cody, you are biased, but you would vote which way as a fellow fat person.

I've grown up eating it. I love Mike, but I'm going to go with my dad's soup. I'm going with it. Look at that. I'm going with the Hardy. It's good. It's got a nice spice to it. I like them both, though.

They are both good. Billy Gill, which way do you vote?

You guys are still going to vote? This isn't the deciding vote.

Would you like to be the deciding vote? No, I would not. It's a Wild Billy Wednesday if you want to be the deciding vote.

I think they're both good but different. Does that make sense? Yeah. I'm going to stick with that. They're both really good but different.

Okay. That seems like he's recusing himself.

Now, let's vote.

It seems like he's recusing himself.

No, let's get a vote.

It's Thai food.

Let's pin him down.

The thing is, both of these, if I'm going to be honest, and I don't mean to be crass. Both are bad. Both of these are going to give me the shits. I feel like Mike's is going to sting a little more on the way out than the way in. So I'm going to give it to Greg.

That's for sure. Greg, vote for Greg. All right, Zaz. I like this ending on Dan.

All right. This is good soup.

I wonder which way Dan's going to vote.

I mean, come on.

Actually, since we know, should we let Dan vote next and then put it all on Zaz, the mortal enemy?

Good soup. Dan's voting for me. You know what?

I'm having a lot of- All right, Dan, you go first. Okay. Mike's is better.

Zaz.

So what did the shipping of Tater vote?

Don't worry about that. It's two two.

We're split it two. Right now, it's Jeremy and Dan voting for Mike, Billy and I voting for Greg. It all comes down.

Greg did say he was happy to see you today because you messed up. To Zazla.

Okay, I took one I'm going to take another of Greg's. Do you take a sip of soup-I mean, of Mike's. Now, I'm going to take another of Greg's. Got to get that carrot off the spoon. Man, that's really good.

Happy birthday to you. Not cool.

Not fair.

You shut up, dad.

Do you shut him up?

Seriously, the guy who didn't vote for me is singing Happy birthday. Yeah.

Man, Mike, your soup's really good. All right. And that's why you're the winner. Yeah. Oh, no.

It's really good.

It's so flavorful.

He didn't try the carrots, though, so he didn't get a real feel for the soup.

I'll never have a carrot.

His vote shouldn't count.

Owen.

Dad, your thoughts?

Man, that was good.

I have no comment.

Good soup?