Transcript of Father Time Is On Joel Embiid's Ass | Postgame Show New

That's right.

That's right.

It's Thursday Thunder and it's presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Juju, what do we got?

Yes, sir, man. Last Thursday we was one away, man. One away. But this Thursday we taking it to the top, baby. First leg, man, I'm going with the New York Knicks minus 2.5. What I saw from the Hawks, Game 4, that felt like a little effort situation. I don't know if they satisfied with what they got so far. I know I saw the look in the Knicks' eyes though, so I'm going with the Knicks -2.5. Next leg, I'm going with Quentin Grimes of the Sixers for 8 points. My boy been aggressive, and having Embiid back opens things up a lot, you dig it? Karma. But that's the second leg. Third leg and last leg, I'm going with Jordan Clarkson for 6 points tonight for them Knicks, you dig it? My boy be stepping up, man. Mikal Bridges, APB out for him. Look out for Jordan Clarkson.

Uh, before we get to, uh, the polls and all the stuff we want to talk about, uh, Juju, do you have any opinions on, uh, Roy and what we found in his ear today? Were you, uh, surprised that Zaslo had a clean ear, Roy had a dirty ear, and we are judging Roy as a dirty-eared person.

Uh, yeah, I think that's unfair. I think that might be under the HIPAA violations. I think we supposed to cheer Roy on for being brave, brave enough to show us what's in his head.

Thank you, Roy. Appreciate that. Uh, Juju always giving off positivity even when it is not merited in any way whatsoever.

I deserve it.

Uh, I don't feel like you do in this instance. Uh, you had some bravery, but you had a dirty ear than anyone expected after surprisingly Zazz had a totally clean one. Yeah, well, you introduced Pitchcock a couple of minutes ago, so there's that. Not the first time I have done that.

Uh, one of our favorite bits, actually.

Uh, before we get to, uh, the polls here, uh, what do we have on the Sixers? I know that you've been following them, uh, because they are challenging, uh, your Boston Celtics. I don't know what your opinions are on Joel Embiid.

Yeah, I mean, I think I want to go out on a limb, and of course I have Celtics fandom, but I call myself an NBA analyst. So what I'm seeing from the Sixers right now, bruh, if Joel Embiid can give you 29 minutes like the other night— because that was the most impressive stat to me— he got you the points, he got you the rebounds, he got you 29 minutes of him the other night, and that changes the entire East. I think that him being back and healthy It opens VJ, it opens, uh, Maxie. Grimes is so aggressive. Thursday Thunderlock come in, he's so aggressive. PG-13, that entire team takes on a different persona with him on the court. And I want to go out on a limb and say, bro, he might act— he might put them in the championship conversation because look at that East right now. No matter what, you gotta remember, in the Eastern Conference Finals, there are going to be Raptors or there are going to be Magic. Or Pistons, but that's a piece of cake. So look out for them damn Sixers, man. They gonna make some noise.

Or Cavs. That limb is, that limb is flimsy. You're going, you're going, you're out there by yourself on that limb. There ain't nobody with you there, right, bro?

Look at Joel Embiid, bro. They also, the first half, they made an in-game adjustment. I think he was like 0 for 4 from 3 in the first half. That's what people want you to do, Joel. Second half, he didn't shoot no threes, all paint work, and that's the most dangerous version of him. And he— his clock is not— Father Time is around the corner on his ass, basically. So he got to do it right now.

Based off what was going on earlier in the show, Juju, I do have a quick top 5 things that are more ridiculous to be afraid of than Q-tips. Oh man. So, uh, number 5, DEI. Number 4, trans people. Number 3, female empowerment. Number 2, intimacy. And number 1, commitment.

Put it on the poll, Juju, @LeBretardShow. Is Father Time indeed around the corner on Joel Embiid's ass? @LeBretardShow. Because I don't think it is yet.

I think he's— Is he fast? Is Father Time fast?

I don't think of Father Time. Oh yeah, I think so.

It takes him a while to get there.

You know what I mean?

Like you got a couple of years and all of a sudden it's like, oh, he's here. But it's like, well, was he running fast or was he running slow the whole time?

I don't think— I didn't feel like Father Time was the one chasing Joel Embiid. I thought it was just general medical status. I don't think we've done— how old is he? He's not that old, right? It just feels like he's 22.

He's 19 years old.

Jason Tatum. @LevittardShow is how you vote on the polls. Can we have a Joker of the Day? Do you have one of those for us today?

Oh man, I'm not sure how— you know the internet, you be seeing something, I'm like, I don't believe it. But I've done saw this enough. Boston Magazine, bro, they put on the COVID of the 150 Most Influential Bostonians of 2026 Mike Vrabel and Drake May, bro. Y'all could have edited that photo, threw Mazzulla or somebody on the COVID or just Drake May. I don't know, but y'all are some jokers for that one.

Yeah, could have been literally anybody else.

@LeBittardShow is where you vote on the polls. What do we have in the way of updates today? Felt like we had a lot of them today. I also think you should put on the poll, do you know it's a good show when you have a lot of polls? Because I do feel pretty generally that there is a correlation here with between how good the show is and how many polls we had. It felt like we had a lot today. Did we have a lot or did we just have one or two?

Absolutely. Yeah, we had a lot, bro. Maybe like a billion. So I'mma go straight into them, and it's the first one is a doozy. Which is worse to do in public: use a Q-tip, put lotion on, or floss? 68% of the audience says floss.

Objection, your honor, was not floss, floss stick.

Hey, ups. Hey, we got different polls to get to. Hold your horses, my brother. Are you afraid of Q-tips? 80% of the audience says no, they are not. Zazz, wow, I'm afraid. Breathe and stop. Do you think Stafford— do you think of Stafford as a lion or as a ram? 62% of the audience says lion. Damn good. Which is more acceptable to use in public, a toothpick or a floss stick? 89% of the audience says a toothpick is more acceptable to use in public. Yeah, Tony, the floor.

The floor. The floor is this. The floor is nobody else in the room even knew that I had anything. Nobody was watching. Nobody had any idea because I was back there with Bat Riley making sure I had everything out. The only person watching me and watching my every move was Dan, inexplicably watching everything.

You were spraying chunks of ribbons at people. Chunks, chunks.

Okay, okay, you're gonna lie here in front of everybody. You're gonna do that. You're gonna do that.

You said you turned your back and you covered your mouth and you did.

I never said I covered my mouth. I did turn my back once to make sure that whatever was there, nobody saw. And nobody did, except you, who are watching very closely. Anyway, Zazz fell out of a chair. Don't worry about me.

Seemed like a disgusting thing to do in front of people. Seemed like it could have been done anywhere. Juju would have never done it. Juju would have never done that in front of people. Not mouth covered, not anything like that.

I'd rather die, Dan. When you think of Roger Clemens, what jersey is he wearing? A Yankee jersey? Red Sox jersey? Blue Jays jersey or Astros jersey? 53% of the audience says a Red Sox jersey.

A Blue Jays.

Hey man, rich cock. Should you approach a Q-tip the way you do a bear? Close one. 54% of the audience says no. Gotta be more careful. Are we in an apocalyptic place when no one is talking about the mysterious dying of the scientists? 94% of the audience says yes, and 50% of the audience says I can't say apocalyptic.

Oh man, it's a tough one.

Is there a more ridiculous thing to be afraid than— hold on, I can't read now. Is there a more ridiculous thing to be afraid of than a Q-tip? 58% of the audience says no, there is not. Sorry for your list, Jeremy. And last poll, is Wimby indeed better than you? 91% of the audience says yes. And those are your polls.

Uh, thank you, Juju. Before we get out of here, because I am going to be gone for the next week, I did want to throw to a little promo here of Neil Brennan on South Beach Sessions with us. Before I do that, though, Juju, when are you starting up with Alley Oop doing live after playoff games? When is all of that starting for Alley Oop for you and Trista?

Yes, sir. The semifinals, the Eastern and Western semifinals, which is right around the corner. We finna crank this baby up, man. We got a lot of guests, a lot of fun guests, man. We usually don't have guests on the Alley Oop, which is rare. So we finna turn that thing around and make it more fun, man, for the playoffs.

And so thank you for that, Juju. As I was mentioning, Neil Brennan, Chappelle's Show. He is somebody who has a lot of history with our show. We talk to creators of things on South Beach Sessions, and he's usually pretty good on sports as well. I don't know what he's saying in this clip.

What'd he say?

Do you know what he's saying in this clip, Chris Cody?

Do you know? Oh, I know.

Let's let the audience—

I don't want to ruin it for the audience.

Okay. You don't want to ruin it for the audience. That's good promotion by you in comedy. And you're a beast because you care about it like that. You care about it the most obsessively because— I have to.

I cannot.

I will die. It's like, it's the thing that I don't think journalists understand about Kevin Durant. He doesn't give a fuck about anything but basketball. He doesn't even know, he doesn't think about anything else, like Twitter, but that's all basketball. It's all anger at people for not understanding basketball. And he does Not— if he plays video games, I promise you it's 2K. He's watching basketball. He doesn't have any other— most of these guys are not interesting people because they don't care about anything but basketball. And if you talk to basketball players, they talk about Kevin Durant like they're not in the NBA. They talk on him like, yeah, I talked to Brunson about it. He was just like, It's like, yeah, even at our level where you like, oof, because he doesn't care about anything. And that's the thing with all these— with Shaq and all these guys that like had all these other interests, like, yo, man, Shaq, you might have gotten injured. You might have gotten injured if you played more. But if you were— if you stayed 290 or 300, I don't know what the good weight was. And didn't rap or act, or you would have scored, you would have 40, 20, 10.

I have said the people in my crew get mad at me when I say Shaq underachieved. Like, he— by, by winning 4 championships.

You see him in person. And if you had to just— you see him in person. First of all, the first instinct is to run because he's so big. Blake Griffin one time, my dog, a pit bull, saw Blake in a parking lot and backed up. I've never seen a— he was like, yo, when did they start making people this big? I've never— this is a scale. I— so, so yeah, so if you've never seen your pit bull backed up to Blake in like a nice brunch outfit, not even tough looking, So these— so it comes down to I don't care about anything else.