Transcript of Dan Le Batard's Extended Thoughts On Stephen Colbert | Postgame Show New

That's right, it's Thursday Thunder and it's brought to you by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Juju, what we got?

Yes sir, the Go New York, Go New York, Go edition of Thursday Thunder. First leg, OG Anunoby, 15 points. Lock my brother in right now as I clear my throat. Next leg, Mikal Bridges, over 13.5 points. My boy been aggressive, lock him in. Next leg, big Mitchell Robinson for 4.5 points. He gonna take about 7 free throws, he gonna hit 1, but he gonna get 2 dunks as well. Next leg, I'm going with the Knicks to win and cover 6.5 points tonight versus the Cavs. And last leg, go New York, go New York, go the Liberty! I'm choosing them over the Valkyrie to win. Lock them in.

5-teamer, you're going with a 5-team parlay?

Yes sir, because you're such a big Knicks fan, so I'm, I'm standing in solidarity with you, big brother. Let's go New York!

Uh, thank you. I stand in solidarity with Juju as well. @dlsHoops after the game. Tony evidently will also be there wearing his Khan shirt, and Juju and Trista will be there after Knicks-Cavs.

Juju, I gotta play something for you, all right? Because we— I didn't get to it earlier. In the middle of the game last night, the Spurs and Thunder, Carter Bryant, he's a rookie for the Spurs, a bench player, played a little bit last night. Did you see this? Look at this, for the, for the visual audience. He goes to a public bathroom.

Can't be real.

Yeah, it's 100% real. He's in full uniform, washes his hands, uh, good for him, he used soap, paper towel, throws it away in the public bathroom in the middle of the game. And obviously people were shocked in there. Someone took their phone out and is recording it. Juju, did you see this?

Yes sir, man. I'm talking, he better be glad he was in OKC because I feel like the New York fans would not have let him leave that bathroom.

So like, I'm just guessing on what happened there. But it must have been like the visitors locker room is a longer walk than like one of those luxury clubs for the people who have seats on the floor. So he decides like duck into the bathroom.

That's how it would be for the Heat. Like that 100%. Those bathrooms right underneath are way closer than even the home locker room, no matter which side you're on for the bench. So it makes sense. I'm just surprised to see him doing that in the middle of the game.

Middle of the game. Super bizarre.

Thing is, thing is you go into those bathrooms, right? You got your hoop shoes obviously the floor is pristine in an NBA court, but you're stepping next to the urinal, people got the piss all over the place, and you got the piss on your shoes, and then you do the thing where you dry your shoes.

Watch this move there. Rookie move by him. He might be a rookie. He takes the paper towel, throws it in the garbage. You gotta take that to the door to open the door.

True.

Might be a push door.

It better be a push door.

Yeah, might be a push door. But then you got the pee on the bottom of your shoes, then you try to dry your shoes with your hands, you got the pee on your hands.

Strength, my friend.

Now there's pee pee on that mat.

There's pee pee on the mat.

There's pee pee everywhere. Juju, you know about that pee pee on the mat?

I definitely know about that pee pee on that mat.

Juju, let's get some polls. What do you got for us, Juju?

Wait, hold on. Before we do this, I want to make sure that we make this clear because there's dominoes that we can get to, Juju. So before we get to these polls, I want to think about this with that domino meme that we broke out yesterday. If we have Carter Bryant stepping into this bathroom, getting pee on his shoes.

Pee pee.

If late in this series, PP, Wemby is sick, can we draw a direct line from one to the next? Can this potentially ruin the series? I think this is a big question that we have to ask here, Juju.

Yeah, great question. Next poll for sure.

This might be why SGA is slipping all the time. It's not a great question.

Is it a great question?

I appreciate, Juju, that you're a supportive teammate. It's not a great question.

Do you know what is being said when someone mentions Larry Johnson's 4-point play? 56% of the audience says they don't. Do you still use pens? 92% of the audience says yes. And last poll, bigger story, New York winning the championship or Wimby winning the championship? 70% of the audience says go New York, go New York, go! And those are your polls.

Juju, do you have a rooting interest going the rest of the way? Like, is there something that you want to happen?

I kind of want Gotham to burn at this point. My team is out and their ass— and I'm in the portal, by the way. Too many threes, I'm in the portal. Uh, but New York or San Antonio, preferably New York for sure.

You've quit Boston? You've quit?

I'm in the portal. I'm not— I haven't quit them yet. I still got a couple deals over there. I got some Raising Cane's deals and stuff like that, but I'm just fulfilling the obligations, taking in options.

I like it.

Thank you, Juju. Nobody here, uh, wants to hear my thoughts anymore on late night television, but I'm going to give them anyway because I believe tonight is a special and unusual night in the history of television. And it also hurts me, Zaslow, because I'm a little bit sad because I, uh, discovered late night television at a time that there weren't many options on television. It wasn't through The Tonight Show, it was through The Letterman Show. And 30 years disappears tonight because that theater and everything that was happening on that show was handed over from Letterman to Colbert. And tonight, uh, this is not something that happens very often— Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are taking the night off. They're going dark so that the entire audience can go to Colbert, who is, uh, I think we can say the jester for our times in the way that he is being sort of run off the air as the number one show. And it's being said it's for financial reasons, but it also seems like it's for government reasons and because of everything that is changing, uh, at CBS. And so the number one show in late night television, a very expensive show, is going away and they're not replacing it.

So that institution Started by Letterman, who introduced me to stand-up comedy, 'cause I was seeing Jay Leno for the very first time pre-internet, and I was seeing stand-up comedy for the very first time because The Tonight Show is not something that I watched. Letterman was the show that I watched, and I just didn't even understand how something was on in the middle of the night that way. When Johnny Carson retired, before Jimmy Fallon desecrated the legacy of that show, 50 million people watched the retirement of Johnny Carson, And I don't think even if you get the entirety of the late night audience, given the way we consume materials these days, that you will get anything close to that number, even if he has the whole late night audience, because everybody's watching this by clips now. But what Colbert did was very important and more important than ever. It feels like during these times, because the way to reach people when it comes to politics and criticism, the most effective way to reach them is with funny. It is not, uh, with the mistake that I'm perpetually making of strident and obnoxious and, uh, sermonizing and yelling at you.

Uh, funny is the way to reach people, and Colbert somehow managed to properly respect and honor with great funny and nobility the legacy that Letterman left as somebody who was a late-night institution back when that was a thing that mattered. As much as I love Conan O'Brien, who I think is a legitimate, uh, genius, he had never had a TV appearance of any kind before he started hosting late-night television. And in the swirl of replacing Letterman at 12:30, among the people who turned down the assignment were Garry Shandling and Jon Stewart and Dana Carvey. All of them were offered that. But, uh, once Letterman ends up going to CBS, everybody really left while I was talking about this, and it's only a lonely, uh, Chris Cody who sits here to tell me to keep my head on the ball. It's only you who stays here staring at me as everyone— no one here is interested in what I have to say about this. No one who I am paying is interested. You won't even look at me. I'm gonna just have to end the show talking to myself, sort of lonely, about how much I appreciate what is happening tonight.

Something that You guys are really going to leave me alone to talk by myself about late-night television? This is insulting. There's a general lack of respect around here that makes me question both my leadership and the decision to create a media company in general during these times. Assholes. You snuck back in to do that?