This hour of The Dan Le Batard Show covers the NFL trade deadline and power rankings, with the hosts and guests debating playoff seeding rules and a surprise pick for the Super Bowl. The conversation turns to the reported tensions between Celtics stars Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum, where one guest argues that the front office's handling of egos and roles mattered more than the players' own feelings.
Michael Irvin's old White House story and the snitch jokes that followed also get attention, along with the announcement that the NBA All-Star Game is coming to Miami. The hour ends with a playful mock trade market for podcast hosts.
In this episode Dan Le Batard, Michael Irvin
This Dan Le Batard Show episode on NFL rankings, Celtics tensions and podcast trades was made with the technology behind HappyScribe's AI note taker.
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Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two.
All right, it's time for the AHL Pixel of the Week, presented by DraftKings Sports. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Now, I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass-hitting contest, trying to get two good picks. And I finally hit last week. That is Cis Paul A. Finally hit. You guys won some money last week, so now I'm going to make one person in particular happy.
Now that you hit, you're going to pivot.
Yes, I'm going to pivot. I'm going to pivot to you, because you've been asking for this for about a month now. Who's going to get two goals in the NHL tonight? Pay attention to the Avalanche Maple Leafs game, because I'm going with Nathan McKinnon versus a Toronto team whose goaltending has been questionable all season. He's going to get over a goal and a half. That is going to be at plus 950.
You're going against Bobrovsky.
Yes, I am going against Bobrovsky, if he's still the starter in Toronto, which I doubt. Good luck, everybody.
Two. Two.
Greg Cody and Andrew Wyatt Hawkins were busy scribbling throughout Zaz's ZFP rankings. What do you object to? What did you guys write down that is worth bringing out on air and telling the people about so that you don't keep it to yourself privately?
I think the Panthers—I mean, I don't know if that's his group of six pick.
It is.
But okay, that's valid. I feel like the Giants and the Panthers aren't going to be as good as the Patriots and Rams when it's all said and done.
No, that's fine, but you get automatic berth if you're winning your division.
No, no, that's wrong.
What?
That's taking the rankings out of your hand. I'm picking the 14 best teams right now.
14 best?
No, no. Just like in the college football playoff, a group of six team automatically gets in, and Power 4 Conference Champions automatically get in.
I'm not beholden to the rules. I'm creating the perfect ranking here. You know, I'm going to reward a team from the NFC South for being the best of all.
Let's give him his music. Let's give him—he's saying he's got something better than the ZFP.
Better?
He's got the CF Perfect. He's got the Cody, the PS Perfect. Let's see what Cody has.
Thank you. All right, I'm going to go quickly here. I've only got one tie, and I made it at 14. Forgive me for that.
A tie? Wait a minute. What do you mean?
You're forgiven. Tied for 14.
You wouldn't have been tied for 13.
You can't beat me.
Yep.
Are there 14 teams or are there 15 teams?
There's 15, but.
You can't have that.
No, because the 14.
He's not beholden to the rules.
Damn it, I was with you.
Thank you.
We were right here.
But 14. Here we go.
Give me 14.
Give me 14.
Can there just be a bubble team? Like, on the outside looking in?
Oh, okay. Let's do that then. Number 14 tied, the Vikings and the Texans.
Oh, number 15. That's number 15.
Nope.
Number 13, Seahawks. 12, Rams. 11, Patriots. 10, don't sleep on the Steelers. 9, Bengals. 8, Broncos. 7, Packers. 6, Lions. 5, Chiefs. 4, 49ers. 3, Bills. 2, Bears. 1.
Giants.
Jaguars.
What? Where are my Giants?
Actually, I like his list better, Zaz.
Everyone's entitled to their own fake list.
It's a Chicago Jacksonville Super Bowl. Get used to it, NFL. Get used to it, Goodell TV. It's going to be a great Super Bowl.
And you know it.
And you know it.
Who are you talking to?
I told you, Goodell. Football, NFL, TV.
He just cussed out the television, man.
And he's already putting just the top two teams in the Super Bowl. Like, that's all that matters? Is one and two?
One and two right now are my Super Bowl favorites. That should go without saying.
What's the point of doing everything we should just did, if it should go without saying?
Lean back. You earned it.
Thank you.
So we have a discrepancy here between Zaz's number one, which is the San Francisco 49ers, that Greg Cody puts at number four. Where do you put them on the WFP?
Oh, man. The 49ers are probably three? I don't mind Jacksonville one. I like Bears two. And then I would probably put 49ers three, Bills four.
And that's an expert. A man who's played the game, who's been in the arena.
Wyatt. My great-grandfather's first name was Walter, by the way. That's what I was trying to pay off.
I like the alliteration.
Walter. Wyatt.
Yeah, nice.
Amin, did you happen to read this Washburn story on the game tonight between Tatum and Jaylen Brown? Like, are there any updates or reported details here that advance this story any beyond the soap opera stuff that we like to do of they used to be a championship tandem, and now they don't like each other anymore?
Well, I mean, there's actually a lot in here, Dan, where he talks about when and where the relationship started to deteriorate. It started when Brown got his extension and had to negotiate for weeks. And then the next year, Tatum was up for his extension, and he got it immediately. And that was all these little seeds of resentment. When Tatum came back from injury, they announced Tatum last, which is usually the honor for the best player on the team, even though Brown had been carrying the team and playing great during that whole stretch.
So there's all these little micro-aggressions. And then finally, the Celtics already apparently kind of felt like we can't keep these two together from a financial standpoint, from a style-of-play standpoint. In fact, after the championship, there were members in the front office, according to Gary Washburn, who were like, "Break it up now. Break it up now. This is the time. Sell high. He won conference."
Because too much of the payroll was tied up in two guys.
Yes. And the style of play.
Well, and two guys who are the same.
Yes. And given that Brown, even though they internally valued Tatum higher than Brown, Brown's value was at its peak, coming off of a Finals MVP and a Conference Finals MVP. But then, of course, they said, "Oh, let's try to run it back." And then everything falls apart after that. The other thing he said was, and this one's I did not know about this. It was great reporting by the Gary Washburn. But after the season, this season, they brought them together. Let me read. Quote, "Ideally, the superstars could have discussed their future together in Boston, perhaps made a pact to make less money so the team could afford a stronger supporting cast.
That discussion never happened. According to multiple sources, Brown and Tatum were asked to talk about their roles and partnership before Tatum returned from his Achilles injury in March. They were left alone in a room to talk, but it remains unclear what was said and whether it had any impact on the relationship." So that was a very specific interaction between them two by themselves, where they were supposed to figure out, "Hey, how are we going to do this for the rest of the season?" And apparently, nothing got fixed in that.
Let's talk about this part of it, though. Is not the core thing at the center of this that Jaylen Brown would not concede that Jason Tatum's a better player than he is?
Well, I think the core thing is Jaylen Brown did not want to be treated as a lesser than. It's one thing to say, you know, like, for instance, Kevin Durant goes to Golden State, and Steph Curry, like, says, "Okay, we're going to all sacrifice to make Kevin fit in here and feel well." And everyone did, right? And the idea there is that it's not that Steph Curry is saying, "Well, Kevin Durant's a better player than me." It's that, "Hey, in order for us to be successful, I'm going to have to make concessions." But internally, all the conversations were like that.
Like, "Hey, we have to make concessions because that's what makes us best." It sounds like from Jaylen Brown's perspective, those conversations never happened with him internally. What was happening was, no, clearly he's better. Like, they were not making any bones or qualms about this guy's number one and your number two.
Okay, but it sounds to me, though, like you're saying the same thing I'm saying a different way. One of those players was a Finals MVP. That person probably thinks he's just as good as Jason Tatum.
Sure.
And so there are your core problems. The Celtics are behaving as if he's not, and he thinks he is.
I think the big thing is how the Celtics behave, because we've talked about this millions of times, right? NBA players, for the most part, are very delusional people. And you have to be, right? If I tell you only 5,000 people have ever had this job in the history of mankind, you kind of have to be delusional to reach this level. So when Paul Pierce says, "Man, give me what Dwyane Wade had, and I'd have three championships too," like, that's not delusion. That's Paul Pierce saying, "I'm a great player as well." So when you talk about Jaylen Brown, regardless of whether it's true or not, and certainly he has enough accolades to say, "Yeah, it is true."
He's not just saying it into the blue. He's backing it up. As a front office, you have to be able to handle that. You don't have to agree with it internally, like, in your soul, but you have to be able to handle it in order to get the best possible outcome. And they did not do that. One last thing, by the way. Jaylen Brown did not request a trade, but when the discussion started, he gave them two lists. A list of teams he'd like to go to, a list of teams that he would not go to. Guess what? Philly was on neither list.
So Brown and Tatum were set to make about 70% of the salary cap. And the Celtics, this should be noted, had a better net rating with Brown off the court than on it seven of the last 10 seasons in Boston, including each of the last four. So while Jaylen Brown might think he is every bit the player that Jason Tatum is, he's not. And I do wonder about that. When you get into the small slights, Amin, I remember noticing when LeBron got here and being a bit awed that the MVP allowed Dwyane Wade to continue being introduced last.
Like, these are the smallest little ego things you think, right up until management starts treating you like you're not as important as the next guy. And all of the feelings get bruised in the places where, like, people are still high school kids. Like, not actually. I'm not infantilizing them. I'm saying there are portions of your personality when you chase some of this stuff that you actually haven't grown out because all you've been doing for the last 15 years is being competitive. So the things that bother you in the workplace can be the smallest of silliest ego things.
Also, the other part of this that I think Jaylen Brown might feel this way is that when we talk about we had a lot of conversations the last year or so, who's the face of the league, right? And we keep praising Gwen Benyama as stepping up to want to be the face of the league and doing the things and saying the things in that nature. If you make it smaller and say, "Who are the face of the Celtics?" You can say Jason Tatum's their best player, but he's a private guy. He's kind of a homebody. Meanwhile, Jaylen Brown's out in the community. He's saying I'm trying to help underserved, underprivileged communities in Boston, close the wealth gap.
He's doing speeches at MIT and Harvard. He's doing, like, the work. He's on the board for the Players Association. He's doing all the work of what you would expect your franchise player to be, outgoing and making connections, while Jason Tatum basically plays basketball and keeps to himself and makes horrible, boring commercials. So, like, if you're Jaylen Brown, it's like, not only have I proven it with my play, not only have I been recognized for my play, like I said, with those MVP awards, but I'm doing all the intangible stuff that you want your leader to do.
So to be treated as still lesser than, I can see why that would be such a slight to him.
What has to happen tonight for it to be interesting? What things have to happen in the game for this? They have to be guarding each other at some point, correct?
Well, I think it's going to be interesting right from the get-go because Jaylen Brown was asked two nights ago, not only has he talked to Jason Tatum, which he said no, but is he going to speak to him before the game? And he said no. There's no reason to. He's on that side. I'm on this side. So when they go out to center court to start the game, everyone's going to be waiting to see, are they going to say hello to each other?
Of course they will, right? Of course they will.
So the number one version of this that I can remember is Shaq Kobe, Christmas Day, when Shaq's on the heat and Kobe and everyone's like, "What's going to happen?" And they get to center court, and they do, like, as they're dabbing, you know, you dab everyone else before the start of the game. And they dabbed each other last, and they did not make eye contact. One guy was looking one way, another guy was looking another way. It made it very clear that this was a very cold kind of reception. And then Andrew Bynum dunked on Shaq and galloped off, and everyone got really excited. But what needs to happen to make it interesting, Dan, is, A, icy interaction on the front end.
B, yes, they have at some point. I'm not saying all game long.
No, they will.
But we got to see one of them guard the other. And if that happens, then the other one, damn sure, better say, "I got to get him back." I can't be Jason Tatum letting Jaylen Brown guard me. But on the other hand, it's like, "Oh, I think I'll guard Max here," or whatever.
I think pregame, they go up for their pregame dab, and Jaylen Brown moves his hand past his ear.
My dad's move. My dad. My dad. Yeah, my dad did that to Mina a lot.
The holidays should be about the people you love. Not mandatory work parties where I pretend to care about someone's kitchen renovation. Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side quests and enjoying a great-tasting light beer. Last year, mine was my cousin's garage, a Miller Lite, and a four-hour debate over the best Christmas movie. Dan would make it a segment, then argue the other side on purpose. Best night of the season. Tis Miller time! In that garage, I felt great. I took a sip. I looked around and thought, "Yeah, this was the right call."
Miller Lite is a taste you know you can depend on. Brewed for taste. It just hits different. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time! Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Dan Le Batard.
Boy. He's not.
Who needs me?
Greg Curry.
Who needs me?
This is the Dan Le Batard Show.
The Celtics are playing very well without Jaylen Brown. They've been better than the Sixers have been, and the Sixers have been plenty good.
No, the Sixers have been better.
Well, but they've got the NBA's best net rating, third best offensive rating, fourth best defensive rating, second best point differential. Like, they're right there with the Sixers.
Sixers have beaten way tougher opponents.
That's true.
They've beaten the Knicks twice. They've beaten the Pistons twice.
So the Celtics have beaten, I think, seven sub-500 teams, but they're cooking. Like, both of these teams are playing very well.
If they guard each other the whole game, aren't we going to get physicality? Aren't we going to get a shove?
They won't guard each other all game. Like, that's not what's going to happen. You don't want either one of them getting into foul trouble, among other things. Like, you can't have that.
I mean, there's not a lot of options. Like, you're going to tell him, for instance, Jaylen Brown, "So, okay, go guard Paul George." Paul George is playing very well. It's not like I can avoid foul trouble by going and guarding Paul George. Meanwhile, on the other side, again, who's he going to guard? LeBron? Jason Tatum? Like, it's not exactly a typical situation where you can hide a guy, so to speak. So they might end up matched up more than they probably either side would like, either coach would like. The other thing I want to know is, at the end of the game, right, after whatever happens, do we get the, "Hey, man, good game.
Good seeing you," a little point? Or do they not even interact at all?
It would be disappointing if they don't interact at all. We need some interactions between the two. I want some explanation here for something that I saw the other day on Michael Irvin's show. Michael Irvin, I am shocked that he has named his show The White House. For those of you who do not know some of this backstory, many years ago, when the Super Bowl was in Miami, I, showing no judgment at all that was good as news judgment, put in the 30th paragraph of a story that the Cowboys had a White House in Dallas that they called the White House to have parties with people who were not their wives.
And so.
It's a hell of a story.
Snitch.
When you have that married.
Snitch.
Snitch. Snitch. Snitch. Snitch. Snitch. Snitch. Snitch. Snitch. My bad.
It's fair. It's actually fair commentary, but I put it in the 30th paragraph. Like, I just tossed it in at the end. But it's still, you know what?
Snitch. Snitch.
It is.
Snitch.
Snitch.
So you reviewed the play and put Lincoln's assassination low in the story. Is that right?
Snitch.
Snitch. Snitch.
Jesus.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Jesus.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitches lay all the way to People magazine, they say. Snitch. The first.
So.
Dan Le Batard finds out.
Andrew Hawkins.
But the Cowboys are having fun.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Over shot.
Snitch.
Snitch.
We didn't even hear Irvin's hook. Tampa had one called the Bat Cape. Since I'm at it.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Oh my God.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
Snitch.
What other 22-year-olds are making bad decisions today?
Snitch.
Snitch.
Were you aware when you went on this podcast what the source of the name was? Are you familiar? Were you familiar with the backstory?
I was. In the NFL, you are absolutely everybody's familiar. In every locker room, they kind of tell you about it. So I learned about it while in the NFL.
Don't do this.
They were like, everyone's like, "Yeah, Dallas had this." And anybody that's, like, connected or a descendant of someone who's played in Dallas, they've heard it goes throughout the way. And a lot of the issues that you've seen or scandals, they're likely recreations of that story or that people talk about, like, what a in the heyday. It's like the you for the NFL, basically.
It was the Champion Cowboys partying, and you go on this podcast, and you're just how often are you on it? And what is it, just to talk football?
Yeah, I talk ball. That's what I do. I talk ball. I'm going there every couple of weeks. Me and Michael Irvin have a history. I was on his reality show, Fourth and Long, back in 2009, where he took 12 guys off the street and gave them a chance to make the NFL. I was the runner-up. And then I went on to go to play in the CFL and then eventually had an NFL career.
Same thing.
Same thing always happens with American Idol. Second place does better. Second place. Always does its thing. And so I have a connectivity to Michael, and I do that show with him.
Didn't Justin come in second place to Kelly Clarkson?
All the good ones come in second.
I don't know.
Except that one.
That runner-up, keep that dog inside of him. They still got stuff to prove.
Ruben Stuttered, you know?
How disappointed were you that you finished second? And so first place was a spot on a team, correct?
Do you want to be honest, or do you want me to give you the answer you want?
No, just tell me what's up.
Honestly, I was relieved because I messed up. I signed with the CFL before the show because I was like, "I can't pass up on this opportunity." And I didn't think I could I had a chance to win. I thought I'd be on there a couple of weeks. And we're going into the finale, and I'm like, "Oh, shit. I'm about to mess up a million-dollar, multi-million-dollar production because I haven't told them that this CFL team is not going to let me out of my contract, especially now that they see how good I did on this show." And so when I didn't get it, there was, like, a feeling of relief, like, "Oh, thank God I didn't mess this up."
Did you dunk on anything, though? You didn't try to dump? You didn't try to get out of it?
I didn't even think it would be possible, man. I was a 22-year-old naive kid that was like, "I'm going to mess things. I'm going to be known as the guy that wasted tens of millions of dollars for Viacom."
And what happened to the guy who won?
He ended up going to the Cowboys and played on the practice squad for a year. And then I think he was active for a year, and he played in the NFL. Had one really big, huge catch against the San Francisco 49ers. I went to Canada, played there a couple of years, came back, and made some money.
American.
Here I am on DLS. American Idol second place. Clay Aiken, Bo Bice, Catherine McPhee, David Archuleta, Adam Lambert. I mean.
How many of them were taking dumps before each big performance?
Most of them.
So here's Andrew Hawkins on White House.
For some reason, I just can't get doubled up here. I can't double up here. You know, you know, you know. I got double-teamed on the football field. I got doubled up on the football field. Of course, you know, in the original White House, we doubled up quite a bit. You see what I'm saying?
Okay.
So I don't understand why can't I have a double-up weekend? Why can't Miami and Dallas win in the same weekend? Where you going?
This is crazy. You're saying we talk about getting doubled up in the white.
Double up.
Double up.
This man's crazy. We was going to sit here.
Ladybirds saying you get doubled up. I'll sit with you.
I just want to win on both sides.
He's going crazy, man.
I just want to win on both sides, man. You know, I just want to win on both sides, man. I want to win in college, and I want to win in the pro.
What a great sentence from Hawkins. You're 60 years old, Michael.
What? That got to do with anything.
Memory.
Come on. I plan to be 60, still looking for them.
That's fine. You can be 60. He's not wrong when he says you some of that's got to dissipate. When you get close to 60, you can't be still telling the old war stories about double teams back in the White House.
Also, Hog dressed like an R&B member from a band in the early '90s. I'm right out of H-Town. I'm trying to think, who's the one, Juju, with that vest and that T-shirt that's kind of a mock turtleneck?
If I have mock, a little half-mask T-shirt.
All for one?
Mr. Davin.
Mr. Davin.
If you're going to walk off, though, you have to walk off. Like, what happened? Why did you come back?
Well, I needed that team to get paid, Dan. So you can only take it so far. I figured they would end the clip right there. That would have been best for the social media clip if they ended it before I came back.
That would have been the way to do that.
That would have been the way.
How much show was left? How much would you have been walking out on?
I think we started the show with that. So it was like it was one minute into segment one of the show. So I would have literally not been paid. So I had to come back, Dan. But I will say, Mike, I didn't have the context that you're the reason why people know about the White House before we jumped into this conversation, you know? And so the fact that you're the original snitch, and now he is, like, owning his own story, now I respect it a little bit more, regardless of if he's 60 years old.
No one has ever called me a snitch before on that.
Really? That's not true.
And on that.
On that.
On that.
Specifically.
And I deserve it. I absolutely deserve what he is saying there because Pablo Tori is getting some snitch stuff, but that's not snitch stuff. What we just did there is snitch stuff.
Snitch. Snitch.
But it was the 30th paragraph.
Why'd you put it in there? What was your thought process?
I was just doing a story about sex in the Super Bowl.
Respect the sound.
Oh, is that not the league?
That hurt.
Dan, there's bigger stories afoot than some 30-year-old story about Michael Irvin in the White House. No, ladies and gentlemen, this was announced yesterday, or at least broken by Shom Sherani of ESPN.
Wow.
Guess what's happening next year around February 2028.
The Impossible.
The Impossible. They told me it would never happen in my lifetime.
What happened to the breaking news? Like, I thought it was a sound.
The breaking.
And then you give the breaking news.
Here's the breaking news.
A bunch of commentary before we even know what the breaking news is.
NBA All-Star Game coming to Miami.
What?
What?
What?
38 long years. Breaking yesterday.
It broke yesterday.
Breaking news.
Yesterday. It broke yesterday afternoon. Then Barry Jackson wanders off, and he's like, "Yeah, local media was told to keep quiet about that."
Although, I thought of a meme first. There's nobody you think of All-Star Game, NBA, this is your guy.
This is my thing. You know, on my obituary, line number one, Pulitzer Prize winner. But line number two, the man who fought alone for the sanctity of All-Star weekend. We were in the muck of Cleveland, Utah, Indiana. And I was standing up there on microphones and cameras all the time, all the time, saying, "Guys, what are we doing?" The NFL people laugh at us. They laughed at us.
We do.
They're like, "What are you guys doing? We're going to New Orleans and Vegas and Phoenix, and we're having a great time."
Miami every three years.
"And you guys are going to West Bumblephunk." And I said, "Guys, we have to fix this. You want to give these people a carrot?"
Are you taking responsibility for this?
Absolutely I am.
Yes, he said.
Absolutely. There was no national voice anywhere.
Nope.
Everyone was like, "Well, I mean, they're part of the league, too, and they deserve." I said, "No. They get that. They can give them the draft or something in the summertime. This Winter Classic should only be " and I said the cities. I said, "LA, Phoenix, Miami."
It wasn't doable for so many years because of the boat show.
Guess what? I complained. I complained. I complained. And guess what happened?
You've been saying it for a decade.
Will they listen to you after a decade?
Well, no, no. They listened to me two years ago because we got LA. We got Phoenix this year.
And then they didn't listen to you.
And now we got Miami. Three in a row, baby. Three, Pete. This is all me. Thank you. You're welcome. Everybody. Thank you. I mean, give me a chance.
Wouldn't that also just be the sequence since they didn't go to those places for so long?
Will.
Isn't it kind of just like the clock hitting the right time? A broke clock hitting the right time?
One would think. But here's the other thing. Here's the other thing, right? They changed the rules, right? In order to host an All-Star Game, you got to have certain things. They didn't say you got to be a warm-weather place. But I see what you did there, Adam Silver. It's cool. Yeah, wink, wink. You got to have a certain number of hotels. You got to have a certain number of ride shares. You got to have an airport that has a certain number of direct flights domestically and a number of direct flights internationally. And guess what is eliminated? Most of the cold-weather Bumble places. Once again, you're welcome.
I saved All-Star weekend, and this is the thanks I get.
Thank you, Amir. Thank you, Amir.
Thank you, Amir.
Thank you, Amir. Thank you, Amir.
Put some respect on my boy name, man. Write down now.
I mean, there was a lot of mean maximum in there. He just said, "This is all me. Thank you. You're welcome." Like, it was just a barrage.
What an ego on that guy.
Of wanting credit for an idea.
I thought West Bumblephunk was going to get the game personally.
Strong bid.
Plenty of hotels there.
Down Le Batard.
For five minutes, I was watching everyone just like, "Nope, not letting you in. Not letting you in." So when I got up there, I had to say something, and I said it. Cheaters never prosper.
Chris Curtie.
My buddy was saying, "Not today."
Yeah, but you're trying.
Not today.
Okay, so you're trying.
I think that was what he was adding.
Yeah, that's so much better.
I'm telling you, the response I got from this guy, what I said, was amazing.
I like his response.
He got him. Cheaters never prosper. This guy yelled as angry as he could.
I ain't cheating. This is the Dan Le Batard Show.
Andrew Hawkins also has a good idea that I believe others might want to steal because we are celebrating the NFL trade deadline here. It's till 4 o'clock today, and I imagine there will be more moves. But Hawk had an idea of because trades are not a it's just not a normal thing. Can you guys imagine if I were to just come in here one day or have someone else handle for me? "Hey, Chris Curtie, come on in here for a second. You got a meeting. You got to come in here.
You've been traded to the Jim Rome podcast."
Wow.
You have no choice over anything that's happening here.
I hope they gave up a lot.
Would you get?
Would you get in return for that?
A podcast that would be named later?
A writer to be named later.
A writer to be named later.
Jim Rome had some writers, yes.
You know what? It makes sense because you've seen the Jordan Davis interview, I'm assuming, where he is completely, like, just taken aback that he's going to live in a new city. He has friends. He has built a life in a certain place. And that is so normal for players to get used to. Like, "Hey, my family is just picking up and leaving." They're like military babies. And so I thought it would be cool for us to do the same thing in podcasts. Wouldn't that be fun?
Yes, sir. Absolutely.
To fix shows or, like, try to reconfigure chemistry based on what's already in the market and assume contracts?
Can I take it a step further and demand a trade to a certain podcast?
Absolutely.
Send me over to It is What It Is.
I had them on your list, Amir, of places I could see you going. I had you on It is What It Is. I also had you on the 502 podcast. Now, I don't know what they would give up in return, but I felt like Zadarius Smith would be a good trade for you because.
I want Teague.
I know you do it. They're not getting a star player. He's the face of it.
This guy's picking up the phone.
He's the one.
Look, hey.
You're the one.
I got a Pulitzer winner. How many?
He is a Pulitzer winner.
How many Pulitzers they got?
That's valid.
We might not can get Jeff Teague, but we can get Marquis Teague.
You can get Marquis Teague.
Come on now.
And Zadarius Smith. So you get football. You get basketball. Get them out of the football game.
I like it.
That way, he can just now he brings a perspective to the 502 podcast from a front office that they don't have.
I like them.
Who's trading for Greg Cody?
Ooh. I'm trading for people.
What's the podcast?
You don't get trading.
Wait a minute. He is the Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody.
Yeti's on the block.
Yeti and Chris Cody. Would you trade your son?
I have just made a trade that I'm going to announce right now. I've just acquired Juju in exchange for Yeti Blanc and a ream of paper.
On a podcast?
Disrespectful.
That's a steal.
A ream of paper on a podcast. We do a lot of printing at the Greg Cody Show.
A ream of paper?
Yes.
I accept.
That's a lot of paper or a ream.
You don't accept? I'm not trading Juju for Yeti.
What kind of trade is that?
I ran a bad deal.
I made a deal with Bill.
What brand of paper?
What other ideas do you have there, Hawk? Because you just traded a meme, a ream of paper.
And Yeti.
You've traded a meme there, but what other ideas do you have? Like, was there a chemical from another podcast that you thought would fit better here than where he or she presently is?
I think Van Lathan would do really well with you. I do. I feel like you like to talk racism. He's one of the best at it.
Yeah, he's great.
You like to talk politics. He has such a range. He's very much a sports nut, you know? And I do feel like he is also incredibly hilarious in more than ways than people even understand. You have to give up something big.
But what would be in our toolbox that Bill Simmons and the ringer would want there?
What do you have?
They already took Billy Gill and put him on that podcast.
Yeah, and you lost him in free agency. You got shit in return.
I did get shit in return.
That's why you got to act.
But you got to be proactive.
All right. If they throw in Rachel Lindsey as well.
Oh.
So now you get the higher learning, and you get Van and probably another Rachel-led podcast.
Well, he's going to want Pablo Tori back, or is he going to want he's not going to want Sampson?
You got to.
What do I have to throw in that deal?
It's probably a Pablo deal.
No, I think you could go Mike Ryan. You can go.
Pair Mike Ryan and Billy back together.
You can go Chris Cody. You can go I'm trying to think how many other extra things. It's going to be a Yanna's deal.
Greg Cody just said, though, that Pablo's untradable.
Yeah.
He just gave him a no trade flaw.
Listen, you got to be you got to how good he's on the he's in GQ wearing healed leopard boots. How long can you keep him?
What if we threw in Stunt Dan?
Ooh. He's available.
Wow. Utility there.
Cut to Danny and.
Pablo's going to bring two, three first-round draft picks, I would think.
Well, who are your first-round draft picks, though? Who are they? Like, who are you saying? You just said either he's untradable or there is a trade out there that you can imagine for Pablo Tori. So which is it?
How long do you have him locked up? How much time is left on his current deal?
As long as our deal is, however long our deal is.
Damn. Okay.
I think we might need to go in the Rogan sphere for this one because them boys doing big numbers.
Okay. So who are you doing?
Jamie available.
Who are you trying to trade Pablo Tori for? So you're going out you're saying no one in sports? You're saying what Greg Cody is saying, 100% untradable. You're saying not on the block, not bam out of bio. You're saying this is Anthony Edwards.
Hold on. I got a deal in sports, Pablo Tori, for the Kelsey Brothers.
Boom. We back.
They just denied that. I got the email back. Immediately denied. I think they stopped answering their phone.
You're like the guy in FAA like, "Your fantasy guy's having a great year, and you think they're going to make a dumb deal just because he's having a."
Well, they denied that. I wouldn't make that trade.
You shouldn't.
I would not make that trade.
That's your problem.
That's what we're going to want the Kelseys for. Numbers.
Numbers. Taylor Swift?
Taylor Swift.
That might be Pablo is untradable. The Kelsey Brothers, I think.
They had Tom Cruise on.
Yeah, but I'd like to do something that's just totally different. Like.
I think.
On brand for us.
What do you think we can get for Jeremy?
Pete Gabrielli.
No.
It's a deep cut. Sorry, man.
It's a funny name, though.
I want to entertain a Greg Cody trade. What is the market for a coughing 72-year-old who doesn't talk into the microphone?
Me? AJ Hawk for Greg Cody.
Oh.
Oh, we would lose that deal horribly.
Hell, no.
He would blow up over there.
Right.
He would blow oh, that would be a.
Put him in the AJ Hawk slot?
Oh, my God.
He would do crazy numbers.
Yo, think about what AJ would do here, though. Guys.
It is so great to imagine Greg Cody on that show, like on that giant contraption that McAfee is riding in the commercial to the Super Bowl, Greg Cody over his shoulder.
I'm not even joking when I say this. I legit think it would turn Greg Cody into a US superstar.
For sure.
Like, they would love him on that show.
How about that?
You're assuming he's not that already, that his gifts here of typing while he's being talked to, swigging coffee instead of talking, and being far away from the microphone have not been given proper stardom here.
It's a distribution thing.
You got to think about it like this, Dan. He's a big deal, but this is a completely different audience. And I think that audience would eat him up, especially considering, again, what the deal is. We traded AJ Hawk for him. Like, it's amazing.
You don't want to be the guy who has to follow AJ Hawk, though. All of a sudden, you'd be getting words from that seat. You'd be getting coughs and laughs and snorts and sounds, and his stomach would be making noises. AJ keeps quiet. AJ doesn't get in the way.
Nodding along.
They would hate him. McAfee's audience would hate Greg Cody on that show.
I'd be talking too much for McAfee.
Nobody could hate Greg Cody.
I'd be making fun of McAfee.
He's unhateable.
I'd be making punt jokes all day.
Oh, man.
Hold on.
If he's saying something, I'd be going, "Punt?"
Man, I want to hear your opinion.
You're telling me they would hate him? Come on now.
They would hate him.
Impossible.
They would absolutely hate him because McAfee would hate him.
They'd be like, "Did you hear how he said punt?"
Punt.
Okay, let me ask the question that no one has asked. You guys are throwing all these deals around. But sometimes, you got to trade the franchise player. So what could we get for Dan Le Batard on the open market?
Wow.
That's a great one. Dan Le Batard.
Yeah, let's.
See how we package this up.
So I'd be trading myself.
Yes. Power Zabbi would be trading you. That's always how it works.
Pretty much. You remember when Michael Jordan was the president of basketball house for the Wizards, but then he came back to play, and everyone thought, "Well, he's still in control." But then the Wizards ended up not bringing him back. Yeah, because there was an owner, and he was an employee, and he had to take his boxes and put them in the car and drive off because he wasn't the owner. But I'm the owner.
Remember when Tom Brady got that call from the Vikings?
Yeah, I got it.
Let's see here. Who would Dan go to?
But Tom Brady's a minority owner. I'm an owner-owner.
Let's see here.
I have to trade myself is what you guys are saying.
Are you willing to be in the two-chair?
Yeah.
It's just like we got to be looking at the picture.
Yeah, but who are you putting next to me? What are you getting?
Willing to trade yourself? Yeah, Dan, I thought you were a team player, and you wanted what's best for the company.
Yeah, but what are you getting? You got to tell me what's best for the company. Who are you putting in the number one chair?
Big Jay Oakerson, Legion of Snakes. Fantasy football now with Phil James.
Are they handing the franchise over to Pablo? Is that what's happening?
Bad friends give me Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee.
They're giving instead of putting Pablo in the trading block, they're putting him in the main chair.
Right here?
Yeah. And then they're poor Dan. What's he going to do?
Dan is trading himself. I'll go Bobby Lee for Dan straight up.
That's not a good deal, man.
Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee is great, but man.
Never held.
One for one for Dan?
One for one for Dan is crazy.
I'm not looking at Dan. Is he looking at me? How do you think that happened?
He's staring at you, and he doesn't like it.
I'd crush it with Santino.
I'm seeing it. That's good for both teams.
Oh, now Dan's like, "I kind of like this deal."
I'd like 30 better.
You got Dan Jaylen Brown's like, "Philadelphia, huh?" Like, I didn't think about that before, but.
What about Theo Vaughn?
Ooh. Dan doing a solo show?
Ooh.
You get to interview Sophie Cunningham.
Yeah.
Oh.
I don't get with Theo Vaughn straight up.
That's a whole nother category, though, of numbers. You guys are the Theo Vaughn podcast isn't making that trade. That's not a realistic trade. It's too big for the podcast.
We'll throw me in.
Well, that'll fix it.
That'll fix it.
We'll appeal to the same group of people who like somebody who drinks too many beers on a Thursday morning.
I love how it was that we'll throw in Cody, and they're like, "Which one?"
Yeah.
Important question.
Speaking of fixing things, I would like to just add, I will not be at 60 years old still looking for her. I love my baby, and I love you.
Oh, get out of here.
I was thinking it.
No, come on.
I was thinking it when you said it. I was like, "What happened there?"
That was an interesting way to.
No, Juju.
Kick save a man right there.
That's not a kick save. That's a boy that's on a podcast.
Shaw was 10 minutes ago.
Week apology from 10 minutes ago. You should stop the show to just say, "Hey, we're black."
"It would be dissapoing if they don’t interact at all."
With the NFL Trade Deadline approaching, Hawk proposes the show makes some cross-podcast trades.
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