This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
Oh, we had such an opportunity last night. Huge opportunity last night for your Florida Panthers, but they fell short. They did not grab the number 1 overall pick in the NHL Draft.
Oh, I thought you were talking about the playoffs. I had bad news for you on that front.
Nope, last night, the NHL Draft lottery took place.
Big Dave with his 6 more games under his belt for the Pittsburgh Penguins talking that shit. Congratulations.
6 more games, 5 more cups. What are we talking about?
If I would have asked, I should have posed this question before yesterday, but like, if you could, if you could choose 3 more cups, do math, which team, the Panthers or the Heat, would you prefer getting the number 1, like winning their draft lottery this year? Who would you have chosen?
Not even close. The Heat.
Yeah, the Heat.
Absolutely. They, they need a Wembley to fall out of the sky. They need a Wembley or some— or a flag. They need something to fall out of the sky. And nobody outside of Sunrise feels bad for the 2-time champion Panthers dipping to number 9. You know, they can't— how much luck do they need? You know, how greedy are they going to get?
Really dip? I think the main takeaway was that was a hell of a television program.
Oh, so good.
I felt like I actually had a chance at one of these lotteries because it was so transparent. I didn't know it was quite like that because, Dave, as long as I've been paying attention to hockey, which hasn't been very long because I'm from a swamp that, you know, hockey didn't exist before.
And you may have heard Dan say, I don't even watch, you know, but I'm trying it this year.
So this was my first time in the draft lottery. What a program.
So good. It was, it was so, it was completely transparent.
I know, and yet the hockey world immediately declared it's rigged. Everybody wanted the Toronto Maple Leafs because, like we covered yesterday, and what is true and has been true in perpetuity, the Toronto Maple Leafs represent sort of the headquarters of the NHL. So it kind of suggests, in the same way that David Stern was accused of rigging the '85 draft so Patrick Ewing landed in Manhattan, people are now saying the same thing about the NHL.
I told you this was going to happen yesterday. Roy called it. Weeks ago, actually.
I did.
Roy, I was looking at that entire board and I don't think there's a single G.D. team that the internet wouldn't have accused of the NHL rigging it for them outside of maybe the Seattle Kraken.
Really?
Yeah, you could make an argument like that. Even the Flames?
I mean, Winnipeg would have been pretty non-controversial.
There were very few in which, oh, they get Bedard and McKenna? The Rangers, of course. Vancouver, certainly they're rigging it for them. The Panthers, if the Panthers won this thing, it would have been even worse than the Maple Leafs reaction.
It was so cool though because I've never seen this before, certainly with the NBA, which we always watch every year. It happens behind closed doors. Ernst Young, they're above board, they would never cheat. It's behind the scenes and—
I mean, it's behind the scenes, but there are people in the room, right?
Right, right. But, but the, the viewer doesn't get to see anything. We just have to trust that everybody behind the scenes, that it all happened on the up and up. Maybe they were all paid off, everybody in that room.
I don't know.
I wasn't there.
My favorite part about the conspiracy about like, hey, they gave it to someone over someone else is the idea that all the other franchises like, you're right, Toronto does need this more than us.
Spurs really need Wembley.
So this, they actually drew the combinations in front of everybody and it was so viewer-friendly. Like, there have been years where the NBA does it and I don't know when they open up the cards like Alright, was that team supposed to be there? And you don't know. They don't make it viewer-friendly. Here, you got the odds on the side of the screen. Every ball that comes up, the odds either go up or down, and then the Panthers name gets taken off. I'm like, ah, motherfucker. It was like, it was a great viewing experience. You know, except for the part that Toronto won the number 1 pick.
It is, by the way, it is one of my favorite annual sporting events that doesn't involve any actual sporting. Is the, the lottery process. Who would the LeBittard universe send Mike Ryan? You know how you dispatch your GM or a high-profile star from the franchise? Who do they— who does LeBittard send as the rep for the big drawing of all podcast draft picks?
Probably George Clooney, the mascot for the Cyclones, who are Once again going for another Battlecourt Championship this Friday, trying to make Battlecourt history as the first team ever to go back-to-back Jack. And I've been giving that some thought, Greg, and with your permission, you know how Pat Riley trademarked "Three-Pete"?
Yeah.
I think we should be able to trademark "Back-to-Back Jack." I like it.
I'm on board. I'm a Clones fan, you know that. I'll be there Friday night.
Love you for it.
Yo, how creepy was it when they showed the Sedin twins representing Vancouver? That was creepy as hell. Like, they're old now and they're looking weird. And I mean, identical twins are, you know, weird anyway.
You would think—
I bet you that you just said the Sedin twins and roughly half the audience, if I'm not even exaggerating that much, knows what you're talking about.
You're right.
I think it's a wild chapter in our lives of sports fandom that twins played Hall of Fame careers on the same team. Identical the whole time, the whole time. High-end players, they came and went, nobody even knows who they are.
So they've literally like, they've never been apart. Like, I remember, and it's the deal with twins, right? Because I remember when the Heat, when they signed Caleb Martin And of course his brother Cody Martin at the time was playing for Charlotte. And I asked the question and he confirmed it. That was the first time in their lives they weren't together. They've always been together.
Yeah, weird.
I have twins, so yes, this all, all of this completely tracks. Uh, the, they, they, if you think about most human beings, the person that you've exchanged the most communication with up until a certain point in your life is your mother. And then at some point you find your spouse, you get married, and then that person becomes the person that you've exchanged the most amount of words with in your entire life. With twins, it's each other, and that continues even after they get— grow up and get married and everything.
I'm married to identical twins. They talk on the phone on the way to work every morning.
He's married to one of the twins, not both of them.
Yeah, because the way you said it, you're married to identical twins.
That's— it almost happened. I had to choose.
My favorite twins are the Siamese twins of, uh, I don't think you're supposed to say that one anymore.
I think it's conjoined now.
Conjoined twins.
We voted to say it.
Is it politically incorrect and why? I just would like to know the reason why. I'm happy to move on from it. It's sort of like we've discussed a few months ago, is it now in our lifetime, in fact in the last couple of years, is it so taboo to say the name of Washington's pro football team that in real time, like, it just became like, okay, it's vaguely inappropriate to say, to now like, you shouldn't say it.
Yeah, that kind of happened.
In shared spaces, right? Yeah, you're not allowed to say the name of the Washington pro football team, um, or otherwise be taken to task for it, right?
You'll love this. When I was doing radio on Mad Dog years ago, right around the time of the, the name change, uh, we were— me and Zach Harper, we opened the phone lines. If you've got a good explanation why we should continue using this racist name, then we'll hear it. Like, we'll open it up. Whoever wants to call in, all these people are angry about the name change, tell me why. And the first guy that called in says, I propose that the Washington team not change its nickname, but change its mascot from whatever it is to a potato. So now they're the Washington Redskins Potatoes.
Yep.
And me and Zach will be all full of piss and vinegar, we're like, He's got a point, man. That's a great idea. They should have just been the Redskins potatoes and then we'd be cool.
I like that idea.
It is trolling, of course. You're trolling people who are well-intentioned to say like for— and you're really wearing that for the rest of time. Like, yeah, just to stick it to people, to be trolls. Our mascot is a potato.
Syracuse basically did this.
Yeah, they were like, it's orange. Yeah, we like oranges.
It's now a food.
Our mascot is like a Big Mac McCheese, only he's an orange.
But the conjoined twins of like the late 19th century, early 20th century. They had— I forget their names, but they lived in houses side by side. They were in the Guinness Book of World Records and all that. You know I'm talking about, right?
Yeah, weren't they connected by the head?
No, they were connected by a flap of skin around their appendix.
It seems easy to—
well, apparently— well, I don't know how— it must have been pretty easy because one of them, they lived in houses next door to each other. They were both married. One of them had, I believe, 11 children.
That's ridiculous.
The other one had 10 children, and they would stay week to week in the other house. So it'd be like, well, now it's time to go and stay with my lady. And of course, clearly based on the results, there's a lot of lovemaking going on.
What's that process like? Is the other one kind of just reading the paper?
That's the question. What is that like, Zazz?
I have to go back to Chris Cody here, 'cause I'm not sure that I knew this. I have to go back.
This—
so you're married to an identical twin?
That's right.
Okay, I have questions.
Go on.
First—
not too many questions.
When you—
well, I know your father's sitting right next to me, it's a little weird. Uh, okay, so first question.
I wonder, they're into swinging at that house.
Were you always able to tell them apart?
Not at the beginning when we were just dating. Her sister has like a beauty mark on her face, so I was like, mine's the one without that.
Okay, my next question is, a lot of times, you know, your wife or your girlfriend will be like, "You think my sister's attractive, don't you? You clearly think her sister's attractive." That's right, undeniable. If you think your wife's hot, you think her sister is hot.
My sister-in-law's hot.
That's crazy.
I've never said that to her before.
No, you gotta say that though.
Well, you must think she's hot.
But Zazz, here's the deal. Everyone with a hot sister-in-law thinks their sister-in-law is hot. He's the only one who's allowed to say it out loud. That's the difference.
That's true. That's true.
Not like the rest of us are like, "Oh, my sister-in-law's terrible." Like, if you got a hot one, you're like, "Oh my God, she's hot," but you just can't say it out loud.
Yeah, yeah. And are they actually different?
They're very similar in a lot of ways.
So how'd you choose?
Uh, you know, the other one was taken.
Papa Cody, wait a second now. You experienced this. I mean, do you find one more charming than the other?
Uh, at the very beginning, I too had difficulty telling them apart.
But do you like, now that you've gotten to know presumably both of them pretty well, Well, do you think that your boy made the right choice between the two?
I, I have to say that. I mean, of course.
Oh my goodness.
Of course he did. Now, I love my daughter-in-law, but, but they're eerily alike. Now, what I'm just physically—
what I'm about to admit now is a little embarrassing.
Go on.
There are times, you know, in marriage, you know, you, you're going through, uh, you know, you're like, no, it's, you know, this is—
I don't like where this is headed.
I don't either.
I do.
Where sometimes you just like, if you're trying to keep things fresh, you just Imagine it's the other person!
Oh no, that's an unbelievable admission—
What does it matter what you marry?
Sui!
Hey guys in room outside mark that down: "Sui marries..." Did everybody see one of society's great empaths did you see me try to get in the way? Did you see me try to dive in front of that?! He refused he went plowed straight ahead!
You guys never struggle huh?
Your wife clearly doesn't listen to this show. What?
What?
No worries, this is getting back to her.
Tony, how you feel about that admission?
Um, not great. Yeah, not great. Even though admittedly Chris says that his wife doesn't watch the show, which is good, right? So he feels like he can shoot from the hip here and not really be taken to task like Dave said.
Very good.
But the issue is sometimes some things are so flammable and so big that they, they peer through the, the veil of Chris saying, oh no, my wife doesn't watch a show, where she's like, you said what?
Bigger than the show, man.
Bigger than the show.
Let's not clip this if we can.
That was an incredible omission.
Greg, what did you make of all that?
Uh, a little bit unfortunate. I wish he hadn't said that. Uh, it could come back to haunt you guys.
Never struggle.
Well, in the context of this show, you can always say, I was just kidding. Of course I was just kidding. But will she believe you?
I was Okay.
Include that part in the clip so that she knows.
Okay.
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I think I would have been on his side.
I would have looked at you like, what did you say?
I'm telling you, me and my friend, the rest way home, all we kept saying was, I ain't cheating, Stugatz.
I think you got your ass— I think he got your ass.
I got his ass. Chris, Chris won this one for sure. Not upset at all. Vali, Jeremy, Vali. It was great.
This is the Dan Le Batard Show with the Stugatz. So last night, the Marlins, all right, the Marlins, they, they, they lost a again. They're now 4 games under.400, whatever. Uh, there is apparently at the Marlins souvenir shop— I don't know if you guys saw this, all right, I haven't been to a Marlins game this year, so I certainly have not seen this in person— but did you see this, Greg, where at Marlins games, they're at the souvenir shop, they have a mystery box? You know what a mystery box is?
I do not.
Yeah, so like when it comes to collectibles, you know, like a lot of these collectible trading card stores, there'll be a mystery box where it's like You don't know what's in it, but you know it's gonna be some good shit. You know, autograph this or autograph this, maybe a jersey, maybe a helmet, maybe a ball, whatever. And they could be expensive because you're gonna get some stuff of value.
How do you know? What if it's a lump of coal in there?
Okay, great question. So at the Marlins game, so this is an influencer, um, Snapback Sports, okay? And I guess he does content with trading cards and stuff like that. And so this guy bought one of the Marlins mystery boxes. $300, Greg. So in that cardboard box, you paid $300 for, you know, mystery items. You're hoping it's gonna be some great stuff, right?
Right.
All right, give this a watch and listen what came in this box.
Hat?
I think the hat is signed.
Is it licensed?
I don't think the hat is signed. Tough start, I think.
So, $20, $35?
Oh, signed?
Have to scan it. It's a game used, not signed.
Okay.
This item was recently authenticated and the data associated is still under quality control review.
What the fuck is the point?
Non-signed hat and this is still under review.
So $50.
This jersey better be the Greg Johnston non-signed game used.
Worst use of $300.
—you could possibly have is this box.
That is so bad. It was a hat, not signed. It's a baseball, which he, you know, they have like the sticker on it where you could see how much it's worth, what it is, and apparently it's still under review. And the jersey, not signed, is Tyler Johnston, who is no longer on the team, who you may remember at the beginning of this season was mother-effing Marlins fans. Oh yeah, that's right.
When he came back, he's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so there's a couple things in this video for the audio audience. You guys need to know this is in the middle of the game, but you wouldn't be able to tell by just looking at it because there's like 3 people in the entire stadium. That's the middle of the game. Yeah, I saw the jumbotron and people were like waving and stuff like that. So it had to have been number 1. Number 2, this box. I know what you think. It's a mystery box. Wow. Is it have like cool designs on it? A big Marlins logo? Nope. It's something you get out of U-Haul. It's a regular cardboard box. Someone with a Sharpie wrote in handprint, number 3, $300, and then they stuck a Marlins sticker in the top left corner. Number 3, this dude looks a lot like Josh Bartelstein, who's the president of the Phoenix Suns.
A lot. Yeah, that was my main takeaway.
Yeah, me too.
This is so bad. Like, these mystery boxes, it's supposed to be, all right, we're gonna get some good stuff, I wonder what it's gonna be. It's not, here's $300, I'm either gonna get really good stuff or really shitty stuff.
Okay, dear influencer who just got ripped off, it's the Marlins. It's the team in baseball with the second lowest payroll, with one player on the entire roster making a major league salary. What do you expect? You expect generosity from a team that, that is penurious and, and plays budget ball and, and just prays that their, their young guys are gonna be both cheap and good when they grow up, it's, it's the Marlins.
Powerful lesson though, Greg, you know, life lesson about, you know, the Marlins took an opportunity, their marketing department did, to send a message to not just this character but to the world, you know, everything's not gonna break your way. To answer the question, Zazz, that you said earlier, what came in this box, I suspect it would be Chris Cody so long as his wife's sister was in there. Sorry, I don't like to work blue. I don't— that's not my way to work blue. That's not—
that didn't feel natural when you said it. That's not who I am. Speed bumped it the whole way.
That's not who I am. That's not what I'm about. Plow through.
I can't believe this box. I can't believe that they thought that that was an appropriate souvenir item.
Zazz, to Amin's point, they wrote $300 with a literal Sharpie on it.
So this guy's a sucker.
Oh, he's a big time sucker.
Apparently they've sold 4 of those boxes.
No shit. I'd like to see what was in the other ones.
Maybe that guy just got a shit box.
A Troy Johnston jersey. But like, that's the disrespectful part.
Like, okay, maybe if it had been all the same things, but it's a player who's on the roster, I think. I think you're okay. All right. Like, maybe it was not worth $300, but it's a pretty cool thing. You gave him a jersey of someone who doesn't play for the team, who badmouthed the fans.
How hard is it to get a signed ball and a signed hat? Because these are apparently game-used items, right? The hat, you don't— it's also a mystery as to whether or not it's your size. Probably not. So if a player wore it, he's just chucking it to a team equipment manager without signing it?
That's so bad. Is this a joke?
But is this— are they attempting to sincerely troll the fans?
I hope not.
They have to, but I think they didn't go far enough. If this guy was badmouthing the fans, it's pretty funny. To do that to somebody. But if you're gonna do that, then don't you put like— well, I don't know who their natural rival is, the Braves? I mean, whoever it is, don't you put a Braves jersey in there?
Yeah, guys, I hate to interrupt this thrilling conversation, but the audio audience, I don't know that they know this is happening. Chris is out in the hallway right here. He's on the— well, looks like he just hung up.
No, or got hung up on.
No way, he's arguing with somebody on the cell phone.
I mean, I'm pretty sure I can tell who it is. Like, no, he's, he's arguing. Yeah, it's, it's that somebody's ass.
Could be the sister.
This is not good.
She's probably flattered right now. I don't think she'd be upset about anything.
Everyone's looking at him now out there.
Hold on, Dave, you have the sister, you're like, huh, like just kind of a little kind of flattered by the whole situation.
Well, I mean, back to where it started, Shouldn't Chris's wife, you know, I mean, of all the misdemeanors or felonies that could be committed, this one's pretty good, right?
It's flattering. All right, Chris just walked back in. Yo, what is going on? Or, I mean, I think we know what's going on. What is going on? Words travel fast.
We got a bunch of sleuths in this audience. I don't know who told her. She's definitely not watching live. Somebody told her. What did they tell her? I mean, she's not thrilled.
What do you think, Zazz? They told her that when he can't get it up, he thinks of her sister.
She's just like, everything's not a bit, you know.
Your whole life doesn't have to be a bit.
At least she thinks it's a bit.
You said you were just kidding, and she said what?
She was just like, why am I getting texts of it? Like, just, it's not good. This is not good. Wow. I don't know who to buy. I think it's someone in our midst. I believe Fuentes. Yeah, someone in our midst.
He's an agent of chaos.
I'm telling you, they Her friends aren't listening to this either. This is someone in our midst. Wow. Inside the house.
Is it Dan? You know he's up wild times, right? So it's like 6:20 on the West Coast.
You know how time zones work?
I know exactly how time zones work. Do you know how time zones work?
I do. So Dan— Mountain confuses me though.
Dan gets up super early, but super early on the West Coast is regular time for us, which means he might be watching the show. And Dan, we all know you can't trust Dan with any secrets. This guy is the biggest leaky faucet there is in all the land. I'm blaming Dan.
How do you feel about witnessing what just went down, Greg?
I'm not real happy about it. It's a bad situation. Someone else be vulnerable.
Someone else. Dave, give me something that you do in the bedroom that would get you in trouble.
No. Greg, do you want to take your boy to task here? I mean, I assume that that's what upset you, right? That's where your emotions are right now. The primary one is upset. Like, I thought I taught you better.
I mean, you're going to be given some love advice today, so this isn't You're actually not in a bad spot.
You think the love doctor can help me here?
I've got a doctorate in the amorous arts, as most people know.
We're doing love advice today because Mother's Day is this weekend, and it was so popular when the love doctor checked in on Valentine's. So you're going to give us some love advice today.
House call! House call! Physician, heal thy son!
This is scramble days, like this Wednesday, Thursday, Friday before Mother's Day, everyone's scrambling.
Yeah, what's annoying about this is that Christopher volunteered this controversy upon himself. Shocking! Took a shit and then decided to step in his own shit. And not to use bad language, I apologize to all the kids listening. But I don't know what, as he's saying that, I'm like, don't go there. And he went there. And now I made like the Secret Service, you know?
I made like Eastwood in that movie from 30, 40 years ago, right? When Malkovich was trying to take out—
Oh, In the Line of Fire.
In the Line of Fire. I made like Eastwood. I dove in front of that thing and he said, get out of the way. No way.
He makes a gun out of wood.
No, no, yeah, right. Plastic or something like that?
No, I think it was 3D printing back in the day.
Yeah, he makes it out of wood, and he puts the little— you know what? I don't want to give away how to get past security with bullets, so let's stop there.
Can I just say right now, I'll make a confession, not like Chris's confession, but a confession nonetheless. I don't understand how 3D printing works. Neither do I. How do you 3D print a gun? I just don't understand. I'm not asking how do you do it, I'm just saying how does that even work? A printer just— and then now it works like a regular—
I think of Chris Cody's wife's sister. Really helps.
Don Lebatard.
I'm not going to apologize.
I wouldn't expect you to apologize. You're a giant infant. Okay. You have no control over your emotions. You have no control over your emotions when you're calling someone you know an idiot. I don't deserve it. Okay. I don't deserve it. All right. And you're a fool for saying it. Okay.
Stugatz. You're a fool. I was kind of following up.
Oh, you're locking in right now?
You're locking in on us? Yeah. All right.
Let's drop the gloves, pal. Let's drop the gloves.
You should be thanking me. For what? Every day. For what? For what I've done around this character.
And the second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool? Huh?
No, no, no, seriously, Jeremy. Seriously, pal, I've added 10 years to your career.
This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz. So we are in week number 2 now. I'll help you out here. Chris, I'll change the topic. Thank you. We are in week number 2 now of keep Michael Yormark the hell away from the University of Miami and South Florida.
Is it working? Well, I, I don't know.
Uh, Mike would be a good person to ask here. The University of Miami athletic director position is open. 2 weeks ago, uh, we, we learned that upon Dan Radakovich stepping down, he's retiring, that Mike— it was reported that Michael Yormark Jormark has been offered the job, and then it turned into, oh, no, he hasn't been offered the job, but he's, he's at the top of the list. Well, we're going in week number 2 of, like I said, keep Michael Jormark the hell away from University of Miami and South Florida. Where do we currently stand, Mike Ryan?
Well, Michael Jormark does not have the job yet, and that, that is a success for those who care about the University of Miami.
Have you heard of anyone you know, have you heard a single person say I think he'd be good for the job.
Clearly some influential boosters do think that he's the man for the job. Now you can, uh, you can draw a line like David Epstein is a member of the board. He was a minority owner of the Florida Panthers, so he was with the Panthers. He obviously has good things to say about Michael Jormark. And in defense, a meager defense of Michael Jormark, that wasn't the greatest ownership group, and it was a tough job at the time that he had it. Much better ownership group now means it's a much better job. But also the people that are in place right now had to dig themselves out of a massive hole that Michael Jormark left them into. I had a different experience working for Michael Jormark, not part of the ownership group. And I think he'd be a terrible athletic director for the University of Miami. He's, you know, purported to be this dealmaker. I have zero evidence of that. Made bad deals. In fact, did a lot of self-dealing with the Florida Panthers. And David Sampson gave voice to why all the other team presidents were really upset with Michael Jormark. Considering what he did to the sponsorship marketplace.
Also, just not a good guy. Yep. Not a good person.
That's the experience that I knew of. Not a good guy.
Bad to work for. Um, a high-stress environment, not a lot of production, not a lot of efficiency. And I just do not see how his personality type, which I don't know, may have changed in the last 20 years, I do not see how that personality type works with the people in place in Coral Gables right now, primarily Mario Cristobal. I do not want Michael Jormark anywhere near Mario Cristobal.
The athletic program is in such a good spot right now, uh, you could say, uh, as, as great a spot they've been in in a very long time, just all-encompassing. And to add such a toxic person into the mix here would be so incredibly disappointing.
Can you go back very quickly for my sake at least? I bet some of the audience too. CliffsNotes it for me very quickly, Zazz. What— why the hatred of this guy? Because I see you talking on social media about it. Gotta keep it going. Mike Ryan just touched on it a little bit. What is the history of this cat? I'm sorry, I don't know much about him.
He was the CEO of the Florida Panthers for about a dozen years. It was— and during those dozen years, the Panthers, you could easily make the case, were the most embarrassing, pathetic franchise in all of professional sports. Just completely incompetent. And Mike mentioned, you know, the money aspect, the business aspect of it, which is supposed to be his acumen, but we didn't see any of that with the Florida Panthers. And most importantly, at least to me, this was a nasty man. The way that he treated people, the way that he made people feel in the environment, people who I know were incredibly hard workers and care very, very much about the Florida Panthers, the way that he would treat these people was repugnant. This is a man who needs to— and by the way, once he left the Panthers, because ownership changed, he was out. Uh, they're, they're one of the great organizations now. Not just the winning. Yeah, the winning's obviously fantastic, but 12 years is not a small sample, but a completely competent franchise, great franchise now. Uh, this man should— should— South Florida does not want Michael Jormark anywhere near.
Mike, Mike, um, I ask this honestly. You're a Golden Cane. You're on the inside. What is the process of hiring a new athletic director? Like, who's in charge of that? Who makes the decision ultimately?
So this is going to be Joe Echevarria's call, and he has a brain trust that he leans on. Now, Michael Jormark was at games back in September. We saw him at a game. I saw him.
I pointed out to you when you brought me to the Canes game. Oh, it's Michael Jormark.
And I'm like, he's been here. And the word was back then he was angling for Dan Radakovich's job and successfully, I might add, because this was all being done in backroom deals. And the reason why it was reported that he had been offered the job is I don't even doubt that he was, but he was just offered the job by somebody who doesn't actually have the power to do so, who thought they could just, you know, tuck it on.
So maybe it was kind of like, hey, do you want the job? And, you know, there weren't really—
there wasn't anybody else angling for this job. And Michael Jurmark's best chance to become athletic director at the University of Miami was this being done in a backroom. And just, you know, talked in behind the scenes.
And then people found out.
And then people found out, which was the worst thing to happen to Michael Yormark. And this is not— I understand there's a lot of politicking and we haven't mentioned any other candidates. For me, it's cut and dry. Anybody but Michael Yormark. I could not, honestly, I could not, hand to God, recommend a worse candidate than Michael Yormark.
Yeah, like if someone went up to you and said, Who would be the worst candidate of people who might be qualified and names might be thrown out there? Who would be the worst candidate to be the new AD at the University of Miami? Michael Ulmark would be the one that'd be like, there's, there's no talking me into this.
Best I can tell, the thing that he has going for him is who his brother is, which is not where we want to be. Miami's not Big 12.
Okay, so another identical twin situation.
So like, his— whoever the AD is, is not going to have this experience in conference realignment, I don't think. And they're just assuming that because of who his brother is, he has that. From what I can tell, his brother's done a good job at the Big 12. His brother's not Michael Jormark. I don't understand what we're doing just because who his brother is. I— 12 years down here in this market mismanaging what has now become a premier franchise. Yep. In the NHL. So I, I think that the University of Miami has seen the feedback to this, and I saw this coming. I was like telling people like that you— this We cannot be serious.
I was disgusted. But people had no idea.
People had no idea about the Florida Panthers prior to what they've done on the ice here recently. And I was warning people. I'm like, I work for this guy. You have no idea the reputation this guy has in town. I had to invoke David Sampson's name. I'm like, he's in that tier of loathe the local executives. And that's when people started to get it. Like, David Sampson.
David Sampson thinks Michael Jormark's despicable. So, okay, I got a question, Mike.
Are the people involved in the decision-making, are they not from here? I would think that someone who works in sports in South Florida would be as kind of up to date on these things.
I mean, how do you think a snake oil salesman becomes successful?
He's, he's got a lot of snakes. He's conning folks, and the people that were kind of in on him had no idea about Panthers hockey.
But that's what I'm saying, like, like, I don't know. It just seems to me, if you're gonna hire somebody and he's been here in our market before, wouldn't you talk to the people in our market who worked with and for him?
It's bewildering. It's a guy that presents well, obviously has gone pretty far in life handling things a certain way. He knows how to present, he knows how to impress the right people, and he did. However, this thing has been drawn out. They have seen the reaction to this. It has absolutely given everybody pause. I do think that they are, as they said, conducting a more formal search. I don't think that they've actually reached out to firms to do this. I think that they have a couple of candidates in mind. They do have an interim, uh, leadership in place. I would not discount the chances of the people that they've temporarily put in that spot. There have been a couple of other names out there. Reported Jeff Purinton, Jim Favola. I think that anybody is an upgrade over Michael Yormark for me. I can endorse another candidate, but that's not what this is about. I want them to hire whoever they feel is best, provided that that person is not Michael Yormark. He would be a disaster.
I endorse Jim Favola.
My question is this for you guys. First of all, it sounds like you're describing both sides of, uh, of the Conseco brothers when you're talking about the Yormark brothers. It sounds like Michael has the talent Avazi Canseco and is as big an asshole as Jose is, or worse. That's really awkward. Which offends you more though, as a fan? Are you Zazz? Because you wear it on your sleeve, which I appreciate. We park our cars in the same emotional garage on that front. We wear it. Do you resent him because he's an asshole? That's why you don't want him touching the U?
Or is it that you think he will bring them back to mediocrity? I resent him because what I've seen with him running the business side of one of my most— the things in life I enjoy the most, he was terrible at it and the team was embarrassing. So I wouldn't want something like that to happen to the University of Miami. But also, I just, I don't have time for nasty people. I just, I don't have time for it.
People often confuse assholes with alphas. And I think that's kind of what's happened with Michael Jormark. He's— he was the worst kind of person to work for because it wasn't just that he was abrasive. Look, I've run into different managers. Some people aren't people people and they still get results. He didn't get results. A dozen years in this market of them being an embarrassment, and on top of that, a miserable culture. Where he meddled in a lot of things that he shouldn't have been. He was in the ear of broadcasters and he was a— he was a tyrant back then. It's just not at all a match with the culture that Miami has worked so hard on changing. They have really good people in place. I want someone to be an ally and a bridge between the athletic department and the football— the football team, which is now a huge revenue generator. And this guy's a meddler. He is a glory hound. He is the worst possible personality to drop into that athletic department. Trust me, I know, I was there for 2 years.
You say, you just said, I thought, I think it's an important distinction as you interact with other human beings. There are assholes and then there are asses, and that's an important line to make. I would rather be, given a choice, I'd rather be the asshole because it means you have some gravitas. It sounds to me, long and short, this guy is both an asshole and an ass.
Yeah, yeah, I think it's a good way of putting it.
Just bad, just bad at his job. But really, really good if his job is climbing without actually putting results there. He's amazing at that. He's amazing at tricking people into thinking he's good. He's not good. He's bad.
He's the opposite of good. Greg? It's your time to shine. The Love Doctor is opening up its doors for business. Why don't you go on over there? Go get to your office. Okay. All right.
I gotta get into my scrubs. Yep. Get to your office.
The Love Doctor, he's gonna be giving out the advice. Mother's Day. Now, we did— you gave great advice for Valentine's. All right, now Mother's Day is not Valentine's. They're close, close, but still very important advice. So, uh, We're gonna get some questions for him, right? And we're gonna see if he can help us out. Listeners sent in questions, so it should be fun. Oh, okay, perfect. So the love doctor, he's gonna go change into his scrubs. That's what he said he's going to do. He's gonna change into his scrubs.
Is he a love surgeon or a love doctor?
Doctors wear scrubs too. Doctors wear scrubs.
Only when they're going to surgery, right?
Yeah, but you want to be comfortable. Who knows when surgery's gonna start? You can be called in. You don't want to say, "Okay, emergency surgery, let me get dressed." No, it's a humble brag. You want to be ready to go. Wait a second.
If you're a doctor, do you think you'd rather be in scrubs? Or in a regular lab coat?
All right, maybe we'll ask the love doctor.
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"As he's saying that, I'm thinking 'don't go there'...and he went there."
Did the NHL rig the Draft Lottery so that the Toronto Maple Leafs would end up in position to pick Gavin McKenna? Would even more people have called it rigged if the Florida Panthers had gotten the first pick? Is Chris Cote the only person allowed to say his sister-in-law is hot? We are two weeks into the Keep Michael Yormark The Hell Away From The University of Miami and South Florida Campaign, and Mike Ryan and Zaslow remain concerned that a person David Samson called 'despicable' could be the head of UM's athletic department.
Today's Cast: Zaslow, Dave, Greg, Chris, Roy, Tony, Mike, Amin
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