Transcript of Alley Oop 154: The Wolves Are Hunting Bulls + Is Giannis Over the Bucks?

Welcome back to the Alley Oop. I am Juju Gatti, joined by my sister, Trista Crick. How are you doing today, my sister?

I see you got the trophy to your side. The chatter for Jalen Brown winning MVP continues to get higher and higher, Juju. I feel like you know that. I feel like you're showing where your opinion is at. I don't want to derail the show starting off that way, but is that what you're basically showing the world?

Man, I'm always showing the world my belief in my boy. You feel me? My boy, he was but a boy, man. Now look at him, man. Salsa dancing on in them Tuesday afternoons. You did? Come on, man. Mvp Jalen Brown right now until it's backwards. But neither here nor there. Let's get straight into it. Yannis Antetokounmpo. Self diagnosis. My boy went down and said, You know what? Yep, that feel about four, six weeks right there. Yeah, that's what the doctor going to tell me. Did you see that, sis?

Yeah, I saw it, Juju. It's giving the last time that we talked about this where he fell and grabbed his calf. It's giving, I'm hurt. I don't want to play for this team. I'm going to find every excuse. I remember there was a job that I had in the COVID era, and I swear to God, Juju, I'm going to tell him myself, I haven't had COVID one time. But to this employer, I've had COVID 15 times.

Allegedly, don't clip this. Do not clip this.

Do not clip this. But you're like, I need to get a COVID test. I think I have COVID. I had a close contact. I need to quarantine. I became Antonio Fauci out here because I didn't want to go to work. And now that's what I feel like Yannis is doing with this cat.

Antonio Fauci. It's Antonio. It's a H-I-I-T.

I don't even know his first name. I just know he's Fauci.

Right. Salute, man. But yeah, bro, I think his time is up, bro. It's like, yes, man, we understand it. Yes, you don't want to necessarily be a butt hole because he ain't got that reputation, man. My boy ain't no butt hole. He ain't trying to be one, but we could tell, bro, you want to leave, man. It's like we keep catching the script club every night, bro. Go home a night, bro.

It's actually worse than that, Jew, is because he's the good man that does all the good man things, but lets you know you're the one that's not a good woman. And listen, I'm a loyal man. I pay all the bills. I make sure you got a roof over your head. You're dripped in Louie. We can't even get our kid into the best private school. You're messing around. You're not taking it. You're doing this. All the other husbands that I know, their wives do this for them and do that for them. But I'm loyal. I'm not saying I'm going to leave you. I don't want a divorce, blah, blah. But you're making it so uncomfortable for her that she feels bad about herself. She feels like, Man, maybe I should let him free. Maybe this isn't... He's unhappy. He's letting me know he's going to continue to check every box to be a good husband, but he is not happy while he's doing it.

Moving on, man. We We got G League players, former NBA players, former army members, former mortal combat characters going back to college because they have eligibility left.

Did you just say former I just got, literally, these words just stunned me. Did you say we got Raiden playing for Baylor?

Yeah, exactly. That boy is electrifying the locker room as we speak.

We've got Baraka coming in with the uppercut swoop move for Kansas. O'miss.

Yeah, Kansas. That's the one, Kansas. Jay Hawk. Who would have known my boy was a Jay Hawk with two knives on his hand? Where was M Street, by the way? It might have been in Kansas. I don't know, bro. But yeah, everybody going back to college now, which to me, it opens up a slippery ass slope for Tyrese Maxi at his last retiring age at 38. When he's through with the Sixers being like, You know what? Let's go back to college and win one for the Wildcats. Tyler Hero, who with me? Let's go back to college. What do you think about this scenario, bro?

Yeah, if you have eligibility left and you've played a long career. I'm surprised Greg Oden didn't go back to the Ohio State when he flamed out of the NBA because he was still seven feet tall, stronger, bigger, faster than everybody else, even though he had one knee that was made out of metal. Yeah, it's effing wild, Juju.

Yeah, I'm telling you, I don't know how this works. I don't know if it's just the... If you in the comments, let us know how this works, because I don't know if it's just the ones that went to college for a year, or does a brother like LeBron have four years left to get a book as.

I think you can't have played right now in a real NBA game.

Okay. Never mind. Closer call. Never mind. Bust an arm.

If you've played in a G League, you're clear. But if you've actually stepped foot at a Sixers game or whatever, you can't play. But listen, the rules change every day, Juju.

Damn, the dream is dead, Tyrese Macy. Don't think about it, bro. You got to win in the actual lead, bro. Moving on, though. Trade deadline is around the corner, ma'am. What do you foresee happening? Anything on the horizons? Can you predict? Can you tell? Can you give us some intel of what you've been hearing in these scripts?

I'm hearing that some Chicago Bulls guards are on the move, and all three of them, Io DeSun Mu, Kobe White with the C, and Trey Jones, brother of Thias Jones, are all targets for the Minnesota Timberwolves to target. Targets to target is crazy. That was fucking.

Target is nuts. But that's what I was letting it ride.

You were letting it ride. Let's be real. When Mike Conley goes to the ground because he draws contact for a layup, if he even does that, dust comes out of his skin. So they had to figure it out.

He's shooting the lowest percentage. Come on, man.

He's shooting the lowest percentage of any player in the NBA right now at 34 % from the field.

Damn, bro. I don't know, bro. Let's ease up on the veteran, bro. You right, though. Why? Because, man, that's Mike Connolly. I don't know what you feel around. I have no reason to not smerge Mike Connolly right now. I don't have none besides it just feels icky, man.

You know, sometimes I forget about that Juju. Like, these are humans, and that's a legend, and he's an all-time good guy. And the reality is, I don't care if I'm the owner or the GM of the Timberwolves. We love you, Mike. You're an incredible vet. We have to replace you. You're just washed. That's just what the reality is.

Chris Brown featuring Kevin MacArthur and Tiger. Deuces. Yes. If you know what I mean.

I'm on some news. I'm up to her.

I thought his name was Ayo Damsamnu. How do you pronounce it? Ayo? Iyo. Io. Bro, I think it should be Ayo, bro. Put it on the chat. Let us know. Should it be Ayo or Ayo?

Listen, I've been trying to signal to folks for months that for whatever reason, there's Hella Africans in Portland. So I know how to pronounce IOM.

Iom. Hold on now. Let us know what's going on. Do we need a book of flight? Do we need a charter? Listen, huge Eritrean population. The Africans will be knowing where the money at. They'll be knowing where the money at.

Huge Eritrean population, huge Ethiopian population, pretty big Nigerian population.

Salute. Salute to Sebi, man. Salute. Yeah, man. But I think that Houston going to have to make a move before the deadline. It might not work. It may work, but they're going to have to at least try for somebody, something like I wish my Buffalo bills would have done. I'm not even going to go into that right now because that's seven days worth of me yelling into this microphone. But I think the Houston Rockets, if they get somebody like a forgotten Dejante Murray, you feel me? Somebody like that that's just been on the... I don't know how hurt he is still. Is he still hurt? Come be hurt over here.

Great point. I also think you could even do a veteran. You know who would be awesome? I'd be very disappointed and sad. Who's that? But this man is a certified sniper, two-way player veteran that you pick up when you're a piece away.

I'm interested.

Drew holiday.

You already know. You already know I feel about, bro, bro will bring one of these to your front doorstep expeditiously. So yes, sir. That's a great move to make right there.

If you're Houston and you can get Drew holiday, which I think will be tough to do, now you got a guy who can strap up and who can hit shots, and who's been on ice for most of the season, nursing a calf injury. So he's got a lot of tread on these tires this season. So I would say go ahead and get him because you know the email you Yoka wants a guy. He's already been in the Boston family before. I know Emei was gone when he got there, but he's been there. He's done that. And so I think for this team who needs a defensive stopper, but they also need a real guard, he's one of the best that you can get, even though he's a little old. But listen, Fred Van Fleet will be back in two shakes. So if you want to keep him, then Drew holiday is a great bridge point guard.

I like that. I don't know where the hair two shakes mean, but I don't even want to get into it right now. Moving on.

Just down the way. Just down the way.

Now, let's get into a segment that we like to call Boy, Stop. Oh my damn. What in the Saber Tooth Tiger? What in the damn Hammerhead Shark? What in the Carl Winslow? Who do you owe money to, sir? Did you see this, Tristan?

I feel like this is... I'm not quite... I'm not quite sure what happened here. It's almost like a snowshoe or those half circle claws that you put into the snow to walk.

Yeah, I see it.

It's like somebody got him right into the head.

I see it, bruh. Or he got kicked by Mr. Ed. He stood too close to Mr. Ed and straight crossed the car when his low.

They said he had a gym accident. That sounds like what happened to Tiger Woods.

Exactly. That's what he said. He told the reporters, This is just a gym accident. Don't worry. Sir, we are worried. The entire nation is, bruh, ain't going to At least when you coach the game, you got to put on a stocking cap, bro. Something something, bro. You got to wear a- 1,000 % stocking cap. Right. You got to wear a durag or something. You just can't pull a raw stitch. You crazy. Did they shave their hair there, too? I think they shaved that back. That was what I'm saying, bro. You look nuts, right? Bro, you a digga. Coach, next time you get kicked in the head by Bull Winkle, sit your behind at home and don't coach the damn hockey game that day, please, sir. I offer you and I extend to you a boy stop. Moving on.

I have to agree there. He got scoped by a moose. It can't be anything else. I mean, not to scalp it. That is like a scalping.

Exactly. Jesus. Okay, here we go. Bro, the video that's sweeping around the nation. The video that's sweeping the nation right now, bro, I'm so sorry that this happened to my doll, man. Oh, my goodness. Bro, last week, I said something about a heated rivalry, and that's exactly what I thought about when I saw this, got down.

Is it just because of the slow-mo or is it because of how his torso moved?

It's got a little halter top. Bro, it's the slow Oh, my God. He's not wrong.

Look at this adorable midriff showing there. It's delicious. Some might say delicious.

It's the slow motion. It's his hair, the bouncing volume and his hair bouncing back. It's the sheer joy white-cross my boy face, man. What is a happier situation than that, bro?

I didn't know Moussa Diabate had it like that.

Come on, man.

Too far. You know what's crazy is no one else around is clocking what has occurred. They aren't ready Oh, just kiss.

But can you imagine the cameraman getting this? He probably was like, Boy, you all are about to believe what I just... In slow-mo, I got it in the one, the real one, a red camera.

Oh, my God. He flips his fro back.

A boy like a Pomeranian, man.

You're so funny.

Look, man. And then guess what? Whatever they got going on, it's between them, bro. We support everything. But to the cameraman that was got all in their business and not letting them have their moment, boys, stop, man. Get out of these four business.

Why is his jersey up so high? We can see his stomach.

It's a lot of questions that I'm just avoiding.

The whole thing was about the most zesty moment I've ever seen in the NBA.

What's that? Moving on. What's that player's name again?

For research purposes.

La Melo Bal.

That is wrong, Dylan. That's just wrong. He said, That boy It looks like a certified top.

Okay, here we go. Bro, I don't understand how in other lands, folks just allowed to do whatever, bro. Can you imagine this happening in the NFL, NBA? Somebody throw something on the court. But bro, it's a player of the year candidate, though. I say all that to say, Bro caught it and drunk it. Now, I thank my brother- Also, those mannerisms, Juju, are I don't know what's going on with, bro. Salute to him, whoever he is and whoever he loves. But my boy need to go straight- No, no, no, 100 %. My boy need to go straight to the doctor right now because you got COVID-79. Drinking a random cup thon. You know how crazy somebody got to be to throw a cup on the field?

What's crazier, Juju, is he drinks it, drops it, and he kicks it another bottle or another cup or something No, bro. That's even more impressive.

No, that's the other guy. The other guy is the Super Cyan. Right. He kicked a whole 'nother' one. He kicked a whole 'nother' one. My boy, he's a Goku. How do you kick that? Bro, forget, bro, who call it in Drunket. Bro, the real player is the kicker. I played that sound effect not to tell you guys to move on, but because it felt applicable to the movement.

It did not applicable, but we do have to.

What do you got to explain it like that? I I don't know. I just never realized that cricket players were this passionate. I just never realized that. Right, bro. Or it's good-looking. Or it is willing to get disease. Are you one more? Or you want to- Stop, brother.

And real quick, because Juju is this way, Juju's probably got the extra ick from this because we know for everybody who's not up to speed, Juju won't even eat off of clean, dishwashed forks and knives from the restaurant, let alone some random man who gave you a cup of beer that he probably drank some from. He put his own little COVID lips on your cup and you drank it. That's a level of recklessness that Juju, I think, is just absolutely sickened with.

Right. And he was through it. That type of man, he is through it. That's his trash. Imagine that man's trash. That thing got actual bulls crawling through that. And I used to at a restaurant. Let's just say I rapped Silverware before. Let's just say, moving on. Last one. Okay, here we go. We got Brandon Podzimski trying to get in on the conversation. I don't know I always had a homeboy like this right here, bro. Every homeboy I had, he thought that was his homeboy, too. But you do not know my homeboy, bro. Back off, bro. You're not in on this conversation. Look, I know good and well, whatever Clay said had to do with B-Part hanging around. Because look at Draymond. Draymond went from whatever, whatever to, I cannot believe you just said that. Did you see this one, Trista?

I didn't see it, but you can tell that he's looking at Pods like, Why is this man who we chose over Clay Thompson? We've had multiple ears of Clay, and we decided to go with a man that we call Pods. No, no.

They are having a good time. What do you think Clay Thompson said right there, bro? I think he said, Man, get your punk ass out of here, man. You can't.

Nobody is trying to have you in this conversation. This is a dynasty conversation. You stay out of it.

He wants some depth. I'm not deaf of you, Alfred. You are not my homeboy. Get your homeboy, man. B-part, boy, stop, man. Leave them folks Come on, man. Let them legends have their conversation, bro. And come on, do something with this Jerrord Curl also be part. I don't know what's happening there. I don't know what religion you serve. I don't know what's happening. But that's the Jerrord Curl. Let it go. Come home. But that right there is all we have for you today at the Alley Oop. My sister Trista, any last words on the way out?

Love you, Jew. Keep it coming. Jb for MVP.

Yes, sir, Ski. And on that note, man, thank you all one more time. Without you all, who the hell are we? Catch us again this Friday. Same bad time, same bad channel. Same bad channel.