Transcript of Poli-charged Potato Prince

Would you rather eat a baby goat or a Matter Baby? A Matter Baby? Yeah. What's a Matter Baby? Nothing sugar. What's the matter with you? On this episode of the Commercial Break. You're a potato heir. An heir to a potato fortune. To the O'Malley potato fortune. Unfortunately, we're bankrupt because we no longer grow potatoes here. But one day, you were rich. About five years ago, had you gotten in, you would have been a billionaire. We decided to contact you for money, not because we wanted to give you money. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, guys and kittons. Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian This is the Brittany to My Taylor, Chris and Joy, totally best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. All right. A bit of excitement around the TCP universe. We had quite-quite the weekend. Quite Quite the weekend. Quite the weekend. Quite the week, actually, I think is probably more appropriate. Quite the couple of weeks is more appropriate.

Let's get back six months.

Let's go back two years ago. I was born a small white boy in downtown Chicago. Back when I was stuck on my mama's titters. We're not in Orlando right now. We're not in...

We weren't in... We were supposed to fly out this morning.

We were supposed to fly this morning as we're recording it. As you're listening to it, we would have been in Orlando, and we're not there. There's good reason why, and I guess I owe it the explanation, even though I don't want to put every single bit of my personal life out there in the world, I'll do it as a PSA. How's that, Christie? Yes, let's do it that way. And not your prostate serum, whatever the fuck. What is that? Psa? Yeah, that's what they call it.

Public Service announcement.

I know, but then there's the PSA, the screening that you get for your prostate. Yeah, that's right. That's another one, too. That's another one, too, we got to deal with, us guys. I got COVID about... I'll start at the beginning. I got COVID about two years ago or three years ago at this point, two and a half years ago, for the first time. And like everybody, I didn't really get all that sick. I mean, I had gotten the vaccine. I felt relatively okay, but I was tired. Man, was I tired? And that lingered for a very long time.

And long COVID is a thing.

It's a real thing. Yes. And I assumed that I had it after three, four, five, six months, I got increasingly tired, fatigued. I got increasingly achy. My body got achy, along with a bunch of other disparate syndromes, like bad headaches. And I would be shot out of a cannon in the morning, but by one, two o'clock in the afternoon, I was having a hard time standing straight up. Now, I was just chalking this up to having 65 children, a terrible cocaine problem in my 20s, and generally just being malaced because the everyday things that you go through- Catching up to you. Yeah, and not being 22 anymore. I thought, Okay, here it is. I'm old. I got it. I'm old. I got old, and that's what happened. I felt like one of two things. I got old and I have long COVID, or I got old and I just got I'm just feeling like, Shit, make you all over.

All of your children are enough to run people back, I do have to say, and Blue.

I mean, yeah, and Blue. Blue is just a highly stressful part of the daily living. But let's put Blue aside for a second. I just assumed that because I was not 22 and still had very young children, and it seems like every year we had another child for the last 10 years. We're always constantly doing this thing up at night and trying to put the kids to bed. I was excusing a lot of this. About a year and a half ago, I was also having some terrible headaches. It started to concern me that I was having these day after day after day. I went to my doctor and my doctor said, Are you taking Advil for it? I said, Yes, I am. I'm taking Ibuprofen. He said, Stop taking Ibuprofen. I said, What? That's the thing that helps it. He said, No, it's the thing that's hurting it. What you're having is what's called a bounceback headache. I stopped taking Advil. For a while, that actually did work. Then the headaches came back again, and then the tiredness persisted. The last three to six months, I think Chrissy and my wife will attest to this, is I've been a general bitch in a lot of different ways.

My attitude, my mood, I've been irritable, I've been super tired, I've been achy, feverish at times, and it got to a point where I started getting really concerned about my health. Maybe this is something that I need to go get checked out. Maybe there is cancer, right? Maybe it's something like that or some disease that I'm not aware of. It's just some insect-born disease that I'm not aware of.

Right, you're at West Nile.

Yes, exactly. Or one of those, like a fly- There's so many things.

I know. It's bombarding and it's overwhelming.

I read it in some British rag. I read that some lady had like, flies in her house. She ate an apple, and then she had some flyborne disease. Like her eyeball popped out one morning. I thought to myself, I have one of those. That's what it is. I've got something. It's blue. I have the blue shit and piss everywhere. I know it. Anyway, four weeks ago, five weeks ago, Chrissy and I are here recording, and I start to get some fluttering in my heart and some chest pain. That persisted for the next three hours to the point where I finally had to say... This is just like a man. I finally said something three hours later to my wife, and she's like, Ambulance or hospital, your choice, but one of those is happening right now. And not wanting to cause a scene and embarrass myself in front of my neighbors, especially the one who's air conditioning, he's nosy, and he'll put it... I know he's going to be writing on next door. I know he's going to be writing on next door. The street with the curtains always drawn, smoking crack. Went to the hospital, got an EKG, was not having a heart attack, but the doctor, who was good, said, Let me do some follow-up blood work.

We're going to take a bunch of blood and we'll run the gamut. What he found was high calcium. Then two weeks later, serendipitously, so this is like three weeks ago, four weeks ago now, I had an annual physical, and my doctor I had seen for many years was gone. He started his own practice. I got a new doctor. She was nice. She sat there for a long time asking me a bunch of questions and then said, I noticed for the last four years you've had high calcium levels. I see again that you had another high calcium level when you went to the emergency room. We're going to test for calcium this time like we always do. Then if we see any indicators, I'm going to do some follow-up testing, so I'm going to draw an extra vial of blood I can send off. They did. That came back. She sent that bloodwork to a specialized laboratory. That laboratory then tested my thyroid and my parathyroid. The parathyroid- Who knew?

Who knew?

I had never heard of the word parathyroid.

Well, and I think really the whole thyroid part of things, the study, the study of the thyroid has really only come into practice in the past, what, 20 years, 30 years?

And the study of the parathyroid, certainly, but the thyroid in general, I think.

Yeah, so I've always heard like, Oh, thyroid levels are off, but what does that mean?

What does that mean? Yeah, who fucking cares? It's a little flappy thing on your neck.

It's hormones, and, Wow, okay, low T. Or high estrogen, or I'm about to start my period. I don't know. What is it?

And so now- Your thyroid is connected to your testicles, your testicles connected to your wife's hand.

I don't know. So even to go further from just general, you have a thyroid. Now, there's four parathyroids.

Four parathyroids.

That also make that up.

Yes. Well- Are behind it. They're behind it. Yes. They're four little tiny glands the size of a pea. They put out something fucking crazy.

Which is just freaking amazing. That your body has all these things and they all work together.

Yeah, and they're machines and they talk to each other.

Telling, release this.

You know, I'm starting- Release the hounds. Release the hounds. Release the calcium from your bones. Now you have leaky bones. I'll get to my leaky bones. They test the parathyroid, they test the thyroid. The parathyroid is four little glands that sit behind your thyroid, and they release PTH, which then tells your your stomach, your kidneys, and your bones, how much calcium to retain. What to do. Yeah, basically it says, Hey, need calcium or have too much? Then you're supposed to pee the calcium out that you don't need. Generally, calcium is just like it's a rather benign thing that everyone takes for granted. It's in your milk, it's in your cheese.

You think it's just related to just strictly, Oh, you need it for your bones? Yeah. That's it. Yeah. But who knew?

Who knew? You need it for everything. Every electrical current in your body uses calcium, and it can wreak fucking havoc on your body and your mind if you have either too little or too much. That parathyroid can suffer from primary hyperparathyroidism. You can go ahead and Google that. Good luck spelling it. It took me about 30 times. If the PTH, if one of your parathyroids or more grows a tumor or grows too big or just gets overactive, it tells the body to keep calcium. Also, it will tell your bones to leak calcium because you need more. That's what the PTH does. It tells your body, You need more calcium, take it from your bones. It has been wreaking havoc on my body for probably more years, a decade, a long time. But The symptoms got too big to ignore very recently. It causes a lot of shitty symptoms like being tired and achy bones and foggy brain and memory loss and confusion. It wreaks all kinds of havoc. It became an emergency situation when they realized just how high my calcium levels were, just how high my PTH levels were. That became a concern for my health, traveling, doing hours of shows.

Here's the truth. Maybe I couldn't get through hours of shows. I might have fallen asleep. I was ready. We were excited. We were very excited to come down there.

We put a lot of work into it, too. A lot of work and energy and effort. Yeah, a lot of time and work.

But let me tell you this just in case. I think, a lot of... This goes misdiagnosed in so many people, so many people, maybe by half. Maybe there's 100% more people out there that have this that don't get it diagnosed because your doctor ignores it because it's not a very well-known phenomenon. Only in the last 15, 20 years have they studied this. I'm going to a great surgery center, one of the doctors who pioneered the surgery that I am having. I'm going to go have that in October. A couple of things this means for the show. Number one, obviously, we're not down in Florida right now. I put out a message. I'm hoping the ticketing center sends you more information on what to do with those tickets. I will give you that information just as soon as I have it. Yeah, it'll either be a refund or hold on to it. Refund or honor the ticket.

Hold on to the ticket. Because we're planning on- We will come.

Yes. We will be there. Just let me recover a little bit. It'll be the first year. I don't know when. I don't know when. We'd like it to be early next year, but we'll see what happens with the surgery, how everyone's feeling, and the availability of the clubs and the promoter's choice. This is the promoter that needs to make those decisions in conjunction with our management and us. Number one. Number two. In October, Christie and I are going to be taking a lot of time off, and that doesn't mean no shows for you. We are going to definitely be doing shows. The podcast will continue. I am not dying. I don't think. As of now, ignorance is bliss. Yes, ignorance is bliss. Although some in the podcast industry probably would like me dead. I'm not dying yet. Some in my own family, I think, might like me dead, but Some people were like, Really? That's great news. No, I'm kidding.

We all want you to get better. Yes.

There is a secondary and cursory reason why this decision was made not to do these shows, and let me explain this part of it.

It went into the notebook.

It went into the notebook and we got done.

Where all things go to die.

Where everything goes to die, including Brian. Oh, I do. Go. Excluding my parathyroid. When we made these shows with WME, great promoters, great group, and our talent agent, Matt Dysert, when we made this decision to do these shows, it was a really quick turnaround. We signed for these shows back in early August, and then we're supposed to be in there in September. It didn't give us a ton of room to promote the shows. We just got the links two and a half weeks ago to sell the tickets. It's not a typical turnaround on live shows. I know that there are many of you that bought tickets, and I love you and thank you to the hundreds of thousands of people that bought tickets. We love you. But it would do us, it probably would suit us a little better also to just have a little more room, like a little more breathing room. Those, first, my health. Second, let's give it a little bit more runway. And third, what's third? There's a hurricane coming, and so we don't want to be down there. There is a hurricane coming.

Did you see that?

I did see that. Did you see that? That's crazy. I know. I did see that. It's hurricane season down there. So all All of those things. I want to apologize to anybody that bought tickets. I'm sorry that I ruined your Tuesday or Wednesday night in late September. And just listen, there's nothing else to say. I'm sorry. I'm sick. Health comes first. Health comes first. I need to take care of myself. It's important. And just honestly, based on some results I just got this morning, it's like, do not push it right now. No. Don't push it. Yeah. Get it taken care of. Keep it low-key. And then I come in here in the studio and act like an idiot for three hours, four hours a day. But that's it. That's all we have to say about the shows. We love you. They will happen. We hope to be doing live shows well into the future. This was going to be our first, too, but we just can't make it this time. We love you. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, 212-433-3TCB. Christina Astrid will be happy to take that abuse right there. Shield us.

I'll answer something, too. Much Much love to the clubs, and much love to the WME, and much love to Matt. The Bone. I was really excited to go to The Bone, actually.

I know. And the Dania Beach one because we heard from these comics that were coming on here. What a great place it was.

What a great place. Yeah. Go figure. You knew we were going to fuck it up somehow, guys. My pair of thyroids said, No, no, no, no, no, not just yet, Brian.

Not just yet. You already made an announcement? Done. You've been talking about it for three weeks Great.

Nonstop. No problem. Parathyroid tumor. Well, bam. Well, bam. Put some extra cells in a funky calcium meeting. Not so fast, Mr. Live Show, Brian. I'll show you to make plans in advance. Exactly. I even got this Tina Tant tweeze T-shirt made.

We made T-shirts. I know. I have the piggy front team. Yeah.

T-shirt. We had T-shirts. We had some giveaways. We'll be there. We'll do it. Now we're too invested. I mean, we spent so much time.

Exactly.

I spent so many nights trying to figure out exactly what to do in this live show. Because here, just to reveal a little bit, we don't want to give it away because now we're going to go do it. We'll do them at a later date. But I didn't want to do an episode of the commercial break.

No, this wasn't just going to be like a live show.

We didn't want to do- Of an episode. We didn't want to do an episode like this where you just horribly depressed afterwards. We wanted to do an actual fun show for you guys.

Yes. Interactive, fun. Yeah.

With all your favorites, but We were going to bring out some old... We were going to bring out some old people like Brian. What if you just wheel me up there with an oxygen tank? Just like a small bag hanging out of a pair of thyroid.

What you thought was going to happen years from now down at the Villages has just been sped up.

Yeah, we just decided, well, what would we do if we were sitting at the Villages? Let's put that on paper and we'll do it at the bone and it'll be funny. Yeah, To be honest with you, there is a big part of me that is bummed out. It's bummed out because I thought this is going to be such fun. We're going to have a great time down there. People had been texting us pretty frequently, actually saying we're really excited. All of Venezuela was going to be at that Daniel Point. Right. To the point where I thought I might have to do some of it in Spanish. Honestly, I was like, should we do like an homage? Should we do something in an Espanol? We can throw something in there. I was going to have to cut out my Asterid voice just for the Dania Point show. I did get in trouble. You get it. Sorry. We love you. Best to you. We'll be down there. We'll get around to it. Anyway, okay, let's do this after this horribly depressing opening to the show. Oh, and I do want to say this. I think Chrissy and I have been through some really rough health-related stuff over the last three years.

Not talking about us personally. I mean, now I'm going through it, but talking about close loved ones, family members, friends who have been through some rough stuff. I'm going to share something with you. Six years ago, no, nine years ago now, nine years ago, When Astrid and I first started dating, Raphael's father was dying of inoperable prostate cancer. I remember that. We all went to a Saint Patrick's Day party, a Venezuelan Saint Patrick's Day party. Go figure that one. All of his family was around, and one of his family members had been an endocrinologist in Venezuela, now living here in the United States. An older lady, one of his aunts, and they were taking pictures all around. Pictures, pictures, pictures. That's what Venezuelans do. They take pictures of every fucking thing, your shoes, your socks. You got to just get all the entire outfit and your face a million times whenever you go to one of these parties. She's taking pictures, and she took a couple of photographs of me, and halfway through the party, she says, and she doesn't speak great English. She had her daughter, who was also a doctor, say, My mom wants you to lay down on the couch.

I said, What are you talking about? Lay down on the couch. She wants to feel your neck. She starts feeling around my neck. She tells her daughter to tell me to go see an endocrineologist because she thinks that something is wrong with my thyroid. That is crazy. It was insane. I think about this moment now, the second that they started talking about surgery and the tumor, I started thinking about this, and she said, Because my eyes were bulging and she saw something in my neck when I was talking. She said, Two indications that something is wrong with your thyroid or something in that area. Then she laid me down, felt my neck, and then she was like, Insisting distant upon this, that I go see an endocrinologist. I chalk this lady up to be some like Black Magic, Which is Brew, a parathyroid problem. I can see through your skin. I honestly chalk this up to just craziness, just like Venezuelan craziness. Cultural differences, right? Something like, how could you possibly know something is wrong with my thyroid by feeling my neck and looking at a picture with my eyes bulging? It has nothing to do with my thyroid.

It's all that cocaine I've been snorting. No, I'm kidding. You know what I'm saying? I thought, that's just a weird picture you took of me. My eyes happened to be open. I don't know if this is related. I don't know if the surgeon seems to think I've had this for more than a decade. I don't know if this is related. But If it is, man, is that weird? Trust your gut.

Good thing you ignored it.

Good thing I ignored it for seven and a half, nine more years, whatever it was. I guess the bottom line is trust your gut. Trust the people around you. If you think something is wrong without being- Get it checked out and don't think you're crazy for it.

Don't think you're being over dramatic either because little things do add up, and sometimes it can be too late.

You are your biggest health advocate. I am lucky to have had a doctor who sensed something was wrong and that the symptoms didn't add up and that there was a problem, and she took it further. I am blessed to have, I hate that word when people use it, but I'm feeling that way right now, to have walked in and had someone that actually gave a shit about what was going on with me and connected some dots for me. But we also know people who just didn't follow it far enough. They insist upon that test, insist on seeing a specialist or whatever. If you sense something's wrong with your body, you know it. If you're a crazy aunt from a South American country who's known as the Family Wish decides to put you on a couch and start feeling around your balls or your face and says something's wrong with you, go get it checked out. Go get it checked. For everybody's sake, please. All right, let's take a short break, and then we'll come right back and we'll do something more light-hearted.

How's that, Chrissy?

Sounds like a plan. We'll talk about P. Diddy and make it more light-hearted. Oh, God. I'm kidding. I'm done with P. Diddy. All right, we'll be back.

Look, I only just started following the Commercial Break on Instagram, too, and that's on me. But you need to follow us at the Commercial Break on Instagram and at T-C-B podcast on TikTok. I know that you are not sick of hearing that, and you never will be, right? Something else you're definitely not sick of hearing is our phone number, 212-433-3-TCB. So text us or call us, but be nice to me, because I'm a highly sensitive person and I just can't take the Fame. If you want to be nice to me on a another platform, you can go to our website, tcbpodcast. Com. Actually, you can just watch videos of Brian and Christie and listen to them all day long. And I know that that will be the best day of your life. Now, let's listen to someone who's actually very nice to me, and that's our sponsors. Let's get back to the show.

I'm Sally Helm with the podcast, History This Week. In each episode, we serve as your eyes and ears into history's biggest events, major elections, world wars, scientific breakthroughs. But we also bring you into the smaller behind-the-scene stories, the unsung heroes, secret meetings, even personal grudges that changed the course of history. Listen to and follow History This Week, an odyss podcast in partnership with the History channel. Available now for free on the odyss app and wherever you get your podcasts.

Can we talk just for one moment about Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Kennedy? That's what I like to call him. I don't like to call him a Kennedy because he's a Kennedy.

I know.

It's just- What in the whack of fucking view is going on out there? What in the whack of fucking view is going on out there? I thought he was one of the good guys for seven minutes. And then he fell off the turn-up truck about nine years ago, and he hasn't come back yet. I don't know what in the fucking world is going on with that guy. I really don't. He is openly bragging about having a sexual relationship, getting nude photographs from a reporter. And by the way, can we talk about this reporter who always seems to be in the middle of some fucking sexual drama? I have a feeling she likes to make the news so she can report about it. That's my personal opinion. What else? What was the other thing? Olivia Nuzi. Oh, Chris, please. There's a whole list of things. You know that she walked into the house and she started taking pictures of- Walked into who's house? The house. The house, Congress. Like, The house. Bob's house. She walked into the house and started taking photographs. I think it was... Who was Kevin McCarthy? I think it was Kevin McCarthy and started taking photographs of his desk, of pieces of paper in his desk.

What? And she was texting with her friend the entire time. Hey, I just broke into his office. And he's like, You know that's illegal. And her response was like, Oh, shit. You didn't know it was illegal to break into a fucking congressman's office, the speaker of the goddamn house? And then she got fined. She was, by all accounts, a respected report. She worked for the Daily Beast, she worked for the New Yorker. She worked for New York magazine. She worked for a bunch of these different high, fluten rags. But she always seemed to be in some controversy or drama. And the newest one is that she She's out on the campaign trail following RFK Jr. For the New Yorker or New York magazine, whatever it is. She strikes up a consensual but sexual relationship with her. Sexting. Sexting. She's sending this guy news. Rfk Jr. Who's famously married to Sheryl Hines.

I know, but I love it. In the report, it was that they were demure.

Oh, they were demure. Demure nudes. Oh, demure nudes.

I'm like, What? What is demure nudes?

I'm not spreading. I'm just showing it like it is.

And soft lighting.

Soft lighting. I juge up my vajee. What is it? I've got a tuft of hair down there. What is a demure nude? Listen, if you're sending a nude photograph to a dude that you know is sexually interested into you, it's a sex message or a sex Mexican, as my mom would call it. Listen, I have news for you. This is fucking horse shit. Rfk Jr, all I can think about, all I can think about is Sheryl fucking Heinz.

I thought about the same thing.

What is she fucking thinking? What was she thinking back then? What is she thinking now?

I know. I read some stuff.

The Hot Rods. The Hot Rods. That is what it is.

Yeah, well, I guess originally she was maybe the other woman, is what I read, I think, earlier today. But then she married him. All our friends were saying, Don't do it. Be careful. Well, here we are. This all goes back. She She was having a good time, at least an Instagram good time. That makes everything look perfect. Everything's fine. She was celebrating her birthday with his daughter and her daughter, and they were at the Milan Fashion Week.

And she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. Exactly. We can only imagine. Rfk Jr is a legendary coxman. He has been for a long time. He was also an alcoholic, and he sold drugs, and he had a bad cocaine problem, and I think he smoked crack at one point. All of this stuff I have done, too, it doesn't mean you can't. I can't smoke crack, but you know what I'm saying. All of this stuff, you can reform yourself. But I'm not running for whatever vice president of the United States. Let's just be honest. He's running for vice president of the United States because that Vans guy is going to be there for long. He's running for President in the United States. He's got some really far-out-there ideas. He's been a lifelong Democrat, like a super liberal Democrat. He's out there cutting off the heads of whales and throwing baby bears in Central Park.

I know he's being investigated for the whalehead thing.

As you should be. You can't travel down the highway with a whalehead attached to your station wagon. I mean, come on. It was up to Trump, and we'd deregulate everything and just have everybody running down the highway with whale heads. That's not a good idea. It's just not. I mean, Sheryl, let me give you a little inside scoop on the commercial break. When we first started taking on guests, our booking agency came to us and said, Would you have Sheryl on your show? At the time, RFK was running for president. He had just announced, I don't even just announced, but he announced not so long ago. We said, of course, the Curbier Enthusiasm last season was coming out. We said, of course, we'd love to talk to Sheryl. I love to.

I've been a big fan of her for a long time.

I love her, too. I love her work on Curbier Enthusiasm. I don't love her work as the wife of Robert F. Kennedy, but I love her work. But to be clear, she has always said, I don't like Trump. I'm not with it. I'm not down with it, but we can agree. And by the way, so did RFK until about three weeks before he negotiated some quid pro quo with Trump. It just I was to show you that everything's for fucking sale. And then, I don't know if you remember this, I'm just having a hard time fitting it all in. There's so much. There's so much. She canceled. And the reason why she canceled, we believe, we don't know this for Sure. But it sure was a coinky dink that the week before we were supposed to do this, the Jeffrey Epstein files came out and, Oops, Robert FK is all over that airplane. That's right. And so she canceled. And I understand why she didn't want to answer the questions. We wouldn't have asked the questions because we're too chicken shit to do that stuff. But I think we would have had to, actually. But at the end of the day, it's not her.

It's her husband that's doing this. And RFK- How embarrassing.

How weird.

Just where do you have to be to pick up a dead baby bear and then put it in New York and make it look like a cycling accident? Was the bear riding the bicycle? I never got to the bottom of the story.

Well, again, now something else new takes over the cycle.

It's the next thing. It's the next thing. It's the next thing. Listen, he has- Are you like, Yeah, what happened with that? Yeah. No charges for throwing a dead baby bear on a bicycle and leaving it in Central Park? There are kids that go to that park. No, but no charges. Don't worry about it. I think the statue of limitations have run out on dead baby bears. I guess. I'm not sure. This is bizarre. It is bizarre. He is so bizarre. Everything that comes out of RFK's storied existence is just bizarre.

Who is the other- Most of his family has come out and said, We're not with him. So please don't associate him with us.

I imagine RFK. Listen, it's got to be hard to Kennedy. It really has to be very difficult to be a Kennedy. Not in the sense that you have all the money in the world and everybody loves you. You're notoriously handsome and you get any girl you want. Not that. Not that part of it, but the other part of it where you have to live up to certain expectations. You always have to be a liberal. You're an Irish Catholic liberal. Your dad, your grandfather, your uncle, whatever it was, was the king of the United States for a long time. I get all that. That's got to be terrible pressure. But if you're going to live in that limelight, if you're going to decide to live in that limelight, then take a little bit from your family members and try not to be a total fucking mora.

Get completely off the rails.

Completely off the rails. What I like about RFK, Let me explain what I like about RFK. He will change his mind. He does a lot, but he will change his mind. If someone presents him with an argument, he has changed his mind on a number of things. I like that. I don't think our politicians should be stuck in a box never to change their mind about anything. Agreed. I don't think you should say on a Monday that I'm not going to sign the six-week abortion ban, and then on a Tuesday, I'm going to sign the six-week abortion ban. But over time, if you're presented arguments that start to make sense to you, I think you should change your mind. If you start to believe something different. We all do this in life, and politicians should be no different. That's what I like about RFK. What I don't like about RFK is the dead baby bears, the whales, and all the cheating. It should rob the drug abuse. What is he thinking? What is this guy thinking? He's on the campaign track. He's where every bit of his actions are being photographed and written about and videotaped.

Then he gets in bed with a reporter. Did you not think for one fucking second that that reporter could be digging for a story or that the story itself could become a story? There are other reporters around you also. And by the way, what's up with this Olivia lady? She's a very good-looking reporter, by the way.

I don't think I've seen a picture.

Are all reporters that good-looking? Because I always think of like, reporters looking like me. Kind of weird and geeky with big heads and glasses.

You can be good-looking and be a reporter. Jeez, wow.

Listen, I understand why Robert F. Kennedy in his mid-70s, is attracted to this woman.

But he- He's got Why, Brian, 3000?

Why, Brian, 3000? Why, Baby Bear, 3000? That's what I've picked. You'll be strong enough to throw a dead baby bear right into Central Park.

Because doesn't he have some videos showing him all shirtless and- Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he talks about like, to testosterone is the best thing ever. He's been on like, Rogan, and they're comparing muscles. I got muscles, you got muscles, we got the muscles. My balls are small, my balls are smaller. I read this story, I thought to myself, this cannot be true. And then as more evidence came out, and then she admitted it. She's like, yeah, I send them some demure nudes. Some demure nudes. Send me some demure nudes. What's up with that? If they're so demure, let's see the receipts. I want to see the receipts. Exactly. Good old RFK. And that voice. If I was going to vote independent. Let's say that Robert F. Kennedy wasn't so far out there on some of his thoughts and stances on general life. Let's say that. But that voice is... I don't think I could listen to that voice for an entire four years. Have you heard his voice?

Yeah, it doesn't match what you think.

Hold on. Let me see if I can try and replicate it here. Probably can't. No.

Did something happen? I can't remember. Was it a health issue that made it like that?

It was the dead baby bear. It was all that way on me. It sounds like he's got an ashtray in his throat. It is pretty disconcerning. Yeah, I think something did happen. He had his parathyroid cut out.

That's what you have to look forward to. Oh, my God.

I told the surgeon, I'm like, Doc, I'm a podcaster. I almost make a living doing this. So you got to go easy on my vocal cord. Don't mess up the voice, the vocal cord. And he could have... You know that doctor? He didn't even ask me what the name of the podcast was. He was like, Yeah, it's fine. It's a small chance. I said, Whatever. I don't care. I have a life, too, Brian. And I thought, You're going to take care of this golden voice, right? So many tens of people relying on me Tuesday through Friday to get through their work day.

Right.

Anyway, Robert F. Kennedy, what are you doing? And Sheryl, poor Sheryl. I mean, now she's got to go through all the embarrassment and all of the heartache and all of the heartbreak. I can only say one thing. Run, Sheryl, run. That's what I have to say. Run. You don't like Trump. You don't like the deal that your husband made with Trump. You don't like the fact that now you have to be part of this. I ideology that you're not a fan of. If that was me, it's always like Kelly Ann Conway. Yeah. George, what's his name? Is it George?

George Conway.

George Conway. It's like those two. How in the world do they sleep under the same roof?

I think they're getting divorced last hour.

I think they're separated. Yeah. And understandable. Right.

How do you have two totally different philosophies and ways of thinking and maintain a relationship?

Could you love Jeff if he had a different political ideology.

I don't think we would have gotten together in the first place.

No, I don't think so either. I don't think Esther and I would have seen... I just don't think Esther and I would have.

I don't think it would have progressed.

Yeah, and that's a shame.

We wouldn't have had that connection.

Yeah, that's a shame. I know Jewish people and Catholic people that have gotten married. Oh, yeah. Not one of them always.

Well, religion is one thing. I'm not Catholic, and he is.

Does he go to church, Catholic?

Oh, his mom is very, very- Oh, she is?

About, yeah. She doesn't know about this podcast, does she? No. Oh, thank God.

She knows, but I've said, You can't listen.

Oh, you did?

Yeah, you can't get it on your phone. Smart.

No, no, no. Don't worry about podcasts. Just stay away from podcasts altogether. Yeah, listen, I don't think in 2024 that if I was dating somebody, and I think We've had this question on- Yeah, we have. On Ask T-C-B. Is that- It would be hard to connect with somebody that was really on the other side of the fence.

Like independent, okay. We can. We can work with that. If they're open to mind-changing, I'm Open to mind change. We have a healthy discussion about things. Okay. Yes. But somebody who's really on the other side, I just don't think it wouldn't work.

It wouldn't progress. If you think a fire wolf fucked a monkey and turned COVID into a worldwide pandemic, then I'm going to have a hard time dealing with you. I'm going to have a hard time seeing eye to eye with you.

If you think Mount Monsters is real. Yeah.

If you think Mount Monsters is real, you don't belong in my household. That's all I got to say. But, so, Sheryl, this is it. Strongbrook Campbell's back. It's one thing to have secret dalliances, which I think is just part of being with Kennedy. I think Kennedy is- That's what they're saying. That's what they say, right? I don't think Sheryl is at all unintelligent. I think she's super intelligent. She's got to be to keep up with Larry David, right? Well, right. In an improv situation.

She's been in her career even before that. I've seen stuff about her before. I mean, yeah, she was a very accomplished person in her own right, and then she got on Curb, and it changed everything. But yeah, she seems like a smart, funny lady.

Okay, so she knew this going in. It's one thing to have secret dalliances, right? Oh, I'm whatever. I'm in Vegas and I know what you're up to, right? And that's the way we live our life. You don't tell me. I don't care. It's fine. Lots of people, I think, have that agreement, actually. I think there's lots of women and men who just have that, Hear no evil, see no evil.

Yeah, what happens on the road is on the road.

Stays on the road. But when you have to deal with it in such a public way, I don't care who you are, how smart you are. It's embarrassing.

It's very embarrassing.

It's embarrassing. It's hurtful. They have children together. He's got 30 children. She's got a child with him. That's got to be a very hurtful thing. She does? Do they? I think they have one child together. Do they? Okay. I think he's got seven children altogether. Okay. Two with this girl and three with that girl and one with this girl and another one with that girl. I mean, which is fine. Whatever. That's your life's course. I don't care. I don't care who you have children with. You've got 30. I've got 30. They're all with the same women. I think they're all mine. I think. I'm taking a guess. One doesn't look so much like me. One's a little different than the other. But I think that they're generally all mine. If they're not, who cares? At this point, it's mine anyway. I'm kidding. They're all mine. But I say this to say that it's one thing to have children with multiple... It's another thing to be publicly having sex with a reporter that is following you around the campaign trail and making it such a public and ugly and hurtful thing. It just doesn't speak well.

And then go back, just like two months ago, we're talking about the whale. And then two months before that, it's the dead baby bear. Then three months before that, it's this. It's vaccines. And seven months before that, it's space aliens. It's a secret... What do they call them? Like, whisper wolves or something like that. I have a feeling he does think that Mountain Monsters is real. But anyway. Okay. That's enough with RFK. I mean, not enough. We'll be diving into it more. As more gets uncovered, we'll dive into it more. But enough for now. Let's take a break and we'll be back.

Coming at you live from my bedroom It's your producer, Christina, here to ask you to follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast, because social media is hard. Got something to say? Text us or call us at 212-4333. 3 3, TCB, and leave us an unhinged voicemail, because that is something I am personally a very big fan of, and I can't wait to hear what you have to say. Check out our website, tcbpodcast. Com, because there is a very glorious back catalog of audio and video that lives on our website, just waiting for you to watch it. Now, let's hear from our sponsors, and we will get back to Brian and Christie chatting about who knows what.

The Listen to this wild story. Terrible ending, wonderful. A terrible beginning, wonderful ending. It's the story of Brian Green. Terrible ending, wonderful beginning. Man is kidnapped. A boy is kidnapped. Napped at six years old, at the age of six years old. A woman comes, lures him into a car, never to be seen again, never to be heard or seen from again. This is in California or Washington. Let me get it right. California, never to be seen again until three weeks ago, 70 years later. Seventy? Seventy-zero years later, he has found because of one of those DNA ancestry things that I hate, that I hate for so many reasons. But I do have to say this is quite the unbelievable story. You want me to read a little bit of it? Yeah, let's do it. 6-year-old California boy who was kidnapped from Oakland park by a woman offering to buy him candy has been found more than 70 years later. Luis Albino, who was objected February 21st, 1951, is now a retired grandfather and Vietnam vet. He was reunited with his family in June. Oh, this is three months ago, excuse me, thanks to the persistence of his now 63-year-old niece, Alida, who found her uncle on the East Coast after using an online DNA test.

Aliquin Alida's first tip was the result of an online DNA test in 2020, which revealed her uncle as a 22% match. Not enough to be sure, but enough to investigate. Her initial attempts to contact him did not receive a reply. Four years later, in February 2024, she and her daughters found several photos of the adult Albino online and compared them with pictures of him as a child that they dug up in a microfilm archive of the Oakland Tribune. The similarity was striking enough. When she brought her findings to the Oakland police, a new Missing Persons case was opened and the FBI and Department of Justice were looped in. Police reached out to Albino and asked him if he was willing to take a DNA test. After the results proved a match, the FBI helped bring Albino to Oakland, along with members of his family, to meet his niece, her mother, and other relatives unknown to him. That's his sister. Her mother is his sister. Other relatives unknown to him. He was also able to meet his brother, Roger, who was 10 years old when he was abducted. Oh my God. Roger died in August, but not before Albino made a second visit to the house to see him in July.

Albino's mother, who died at the age of 92 in 2005 and kept a vigil of hope for her son, reportedly never stopped visiting the missing person's office of the police every year, believing somehow, somewhere he was alive. I always knew I had We spoke of him a lot. My grandmother carried the original article in her wallet, and she always talked about him. A picture of him was always hung on the family wall. The woman who kidnapped him in 1951, when he still could not speak English after his family moved from Puerto Rico a year earlier, reportedly flew him to the East Coast, where he was eventually raised by a separate couple who raised him as their own son. What? Oakland police now considered the missing person case closed, but along with the FBI, have kept the kidnapping investigation. Open. Wow. That's incredible. This is like a shitty story, but it's feel good in so many ways. I like this story every once in a while, because when you're dealing with misery and bullshit and all the crap and politics and day-to-day living, you like to hear a good feel good story. And this one tickles the cockles of my heart, Chrissy.

Worms the cold, dead, calcium-filled heart that I have. Your leaky bones. My leaky bones are are just rejoicing that my thin, leaky bones are cracking with joy this morning. Knowing that this guy finally had some closure after seven years.

I have so many questions. So do I. Did he know? Did he know or was he just thinking that this... He had to have not known.

Well, it doesn't say much about that. But at six years old, between three, four, and five, is when most people start generating memories. But you're so malleable at that age and you're not speaking English, so you're in a totally different, new place. I could see how it might easily, how you could easily be, you were given up for adoption. You're here with us now, or your mom and dad couldn't care for you anymore. So here you are, here with us, and you don't need to worry about it. We love you, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, he made it through childhood, right? They kept them alive. We don't know any of the details of if there was any abuse or anything like that, why the woman stole the child to then give it to someone else, to give the albino to another human being, a couple. I have no idea, but that's the same questions I have. Then if there was any inkling that you had been kidnapped, like some seed of a memory down in there, wouldn't you then take it the onus on you? If you're in Vietnam, you're obviously away from your captors, your kidnappers, wouldn't you get away?

But that's the crazy thing about some of these stories is when you are kidnapped at such a young age and you're so malleable, you really are susceptible to, what do they You know that? Stockholm syndrome. Stockholm syndrome, where all of a sudden, your kidnappers are your saviors. You're with them. We're all on the same team. We're doing this together. A child like that, it's every parent's worst nightmare that all of a sudden, bam, gone. Snacked. Snatched. Snatched, right? And no sign whatsoever. In 1951, I can promise you that if a woman, they weren't checking anybody on flights. There was no ID. You just had a ticket and you walked down and that was it. If you had a child, I'm sure there was zero assumption that that child wasn't yours. It was an easy getaway. Once she gave it to someone else, gave the child to someone else, what else is there to say? It's gone. I love this story. I love that he got to meet some of his family members, especially his brother before he passed away. What an incredible story. I hope he has a whole new life. It reminds me of my 600-pound life or whatever.

Oh, my Big Fat Fabulous Life. You know that show? I've seen that. Okay. There's that Whitney girl, right? I think we were talking about this a couple of months back, how people were egging her house and stuff like that. Oh, right. I don't watch it much anymore. I think it's very formulaic and there's reasons. I have better stuff. I'm watching Brastic now. I like that better. I in that show about the Menendez brothers. Oh, I saw that that was out. We'll talk about that next episode. I want to talk about that. But I am telling you what, this girl, her dad for 37 years. She has a mom and dad. The mom and dad are very lovely people. Very Southern, very lovely, very conservative, it seems like, but they're on the show a lot and they're lovely. When her mom passes away, very suddenly, very quickly, she passes away. She passes away, it breaks the whole family apart. Then the dad decides to hit them all with a bomb. I had a child before your mother came along. I had a child, and it was raised by someone else. Wow. Now that child has contacted me, and I know that your mother would have wanted me to see my child.

I haven't seen her in many years. She's contacted me, she figured it out, and it's like a big bomb across the family. But now all the family is all together. They have a whole new purpose It's a whole new life. The little that I've watched of this, I can only say that what a blessing that the mother passed away, but now Whitney, this girl and the father have this whole new family that they can rely on, that is extra support, that is extra love, that has just a little touch of... It just really tickles my balls in all the right places, Christine.

I have a friend that that happened to as well.

What happened to?

Well, they did the DNA test stuff and were contacted by a whole other family that they didn't know that they had.

Can you imagine?

Yeah, a half sister.

Makes me think. Maybe I'll be contacted by somebody and say, your real parents are wolf walkers.

Or what was the one- You're a Kennedy. What I was going to say, what was the story that we talked a little while back about how these people found out that they were entitled to be a prince or something like that? Oh, yeah. There was like a...

Oh, the l The Lamborghini lady? The Lamborghini lady who all of a sudden took a blood test and figured out she was 100% Lamborghini. She's like, Well, give me my money. Wouldn't that be awesome? If I was some Irish, I don't know. Prince. Prince. I don't think they have princes in Ireland. You're a potato heir, an heir to a potato fortune. To the O'Malley potato fortune. Unfortunately, we're bankrupt because we no longer grow potatoes here. But one day you were rich. About five years ago, had you gotten in, you would have been a billionaire. But we decided to contact you for money, not because we wanted to give you money. You're a famous podcaster now, and your 78 of your siblings need money. And then I'd say, Well, I got to stop podcasting. My parathyroid won't let me. My parathyroid done gone crazy. It's really unfortunate. I guess we're all shit out of luck. Yeah.

All right. You never know until you take the test.

That's true. I won't do it.

I know. You're confused. I've done it.

I know. Well, I mean, I don't know why I even give a shit. My twin brother has done it, so it's not like I'm getting away from it.

It's not like all of our information isn't stolen and being sold everywhere. I know.

I just get so nervous. You know, DNA is not rock solid. It's not a rock solid science. What are you nervous about? I am nervous that someone is going to take my blood and splatter it all over some crime scene. And then I'm going to take my DNA and then splatter it all over some crime scene. And then I'm going to be left hanging out with P. Diddy.

Well, like you said, your twin brother has done it, so you would have been implicated.

Even though we're fraternal, we probably have very similar DNA.

Oh, yeah, you do.

I mean, same dad, same mom, same time. It's got to be very similar, right? Yes, it is. Speaking of Pete Diddy, that guy's never getting out of jail. He shouldn't. He's not. He's never going to get out of jail.

God, I've gone down the rabbit hole. Oh, yeah. I think we're just the tip of the iceberg right now.

Me too. Me too. Yeah. There's no celebrities talking about it. None. Not Jay-Z, not Oprah, not Justin Bieber, not the Kardashian, not Paris Hilton. I noticed they're all very quiet right now. We'll see what happens. All right, 212-4333-TCB. More information about the show at tcbpodcast. Com. Sorry about not making those Florida shows. We promise we will make it up to you when we come. It'll be bigger and better than you never saw before.

Right.

It'll be so much better than you never saw. That's a promise. Yeah, that's a promise. Add the commercial break on Instagram and youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak. Then I give out the phone number, 212-433-3TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas bitching us about the live shows and the now useless tickets you have. We'll get you more information about that later on this week, I promise. Okay, Christie. I know that's all I can do for today. I think so. My parathyroid is telling me it's nap time.

It's quitting time.

What a great excuse. I love you. I love you. I say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Fear not. We'll all get through it together. Until next time, Christie and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye. Kiss me.