Transcript of Benevolent King Zan

You can't just have one kid. Every only child I've ever known is weird. They're weird. I'll take a weirdo. I'll take a little weirdo. Give me a little weirdo. Instead, I got three kids that somehow all have the exact same villain origin story. You can't have one kid. They're not going to have anybody to play with. They don't play together. They don't play together. They don't even like each other. They're enemies. The closest they come to playing together is body slamming each other on the nugget sofas. It's a fight club in here. Just have one and know some peace in your life.

On this episode of the Commercial Break. Bring me my phone so I may ring up thy pussy. Hello, Barbara Are you available tonight? It's on Benevolent King of Pussy. Barbara, are you there? Barbara, this phone doesn't work. Bring me another phone so I may ring Barbara back and get to thy pussy for the evening. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah, cats and kittons. Welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the fans of my Walsh, Chris and Joy, Hotly. Best to you, Chris.

Let's do you, Brian.

I made you the nicer one. As we're recording the VP debate last night, I'm over it. I'm officially over all of it.

I know. All of it. I thought the same thing, too. All of it.

Just get me to the voting booth. Let me do my duty as an American citizen and let World War III begin. Oh, hey. And let World War III begin. That's it. That's all I got to say.

I know. I'm still over to. I texted you that last night.

I was like, I can't. What a nightmare all around us. Just a nightmare. I know. I mean, it really is pretty… It's a tense time for the entire world. It is. But thank God you got the commercial break because, quite frankly, we can't talk about serious stuff because we will get all the facts wrong. I will become a disinformation machine immediately, and I don't want to do that.

As heard on TCB podcast.

As heard on TCB minus, which is going to be the name of our tour when we get back on the… I say back on the road when we actually get on the road. Right. Oh, Lord. We are here in the TCB studios. For you, this may be a couple of days later because we're about to take a whole shitload of time off, but we'll keep the fresh episodes coming as long as we can, I guess. As long as we can, there might be a a few best ofs in there. Listen, I know it's not your favorite to hear a rerun, but for some people, that might be the first time they ever hear it. Exactly. Because they might be new to the show, wondering what all the kerfuffle is about. So just bear with us through the month of October. We'll all get through it together. I promise. Christie's going to go down and do memfo. Actually, this will be airing, I think, the day before... Or the day that memfo starts. Starts on Friday? Yes. Okay, so this will air the day of memfo. There Where do you go. If you're in the Memphis area or you want to travel to the Memphis area, if you're close, then go ahead and get your tickets at memfofest.

Com. Great lineup. Jack White. Jack White is also playing.

I'm sorry, I forgot. Digable Planet. The Roots.

Digable Planet. Yeah, The Roots.

Wow. Trey Anastasia. Trey, yeah. Goose.

Okay. I imagine a Goose and Trey, some stage time together. Is possible.

Well, they're playing on different nights.

I still say that's possible. But still, yes, it could definitely be possible. I think it's happened once before, if I'm not mistaken. I think I saw that on somewhere on the Fish page or something like that. I follow the Fish page, although I find some of it. I love Fish. I think Fish is a great band. I really do. I love them. I've been to a lot of live shows. But when I turned 40, I was like, Well, I don't know that heroine and balloons are my thing anymore.

She had 30 kids.

Plus, I have 30 children. That's right. I started having 30 children right about when I 40. But anyway, so there you go. Memfofest. Com. It's starting today, so go get it.

Yeah, it's really good weather, too, which God, I mean.

God damn. Let's go to the parade of terribles that's going on right now, first of all.

Last weekend, yeah. Well, I guess it would be two weekends before now, right?

Yeah, two weekends before now. Yeah. We haven't talked about it.

Horrible storm. Horrible storm. People up in the Asheville area and the Carolinas really got hit.

It is unfolding, I think, in real-time for everybody that North Carolina is a complete disaster zone. The entire state, Eastern Tennessee, Northern South Carolina. I have family that live there in that Clemson area. They avoided the worst of it, but it still was not great. Greenville got hit. Greenville got hit. Augusta, Georgia got hit. Anywhere south and east of I-75, if you know what I'm talking about.

It was just a huge storm. It covered so much area.

It was just a haymaker. That's what it was. Now people are missing and people are dead and livelihoods are gone and complete towns are washed out. Asheville may never be the same again. I like Asheville. Astrid and I, it's very first... I'd say our second date was in Asheville, and I love it. It's a beautiful town.

It's a great town.

I spent a lot of time in Eastern Tennessee in that Asheville area in the Blue Ridge Mountains and riding up and down that Blue Ridge Highway. That's where I went to school. Yeah. I'm just so sad about all of it because I have so many friends that live up there, have lived up there, have friends up there. The whole party in the woods scene. There's a lot of people up in those Blue Ridge Mountains, in Chimney Rock and Asheville and all those areas up there, and it's complete devastation. Actually, this isn't funny at all, but one of our friends on Facebook for days was like, My daughter and her boyfriend. For what reason I don't understand? Because that wasn't told in the story. But let's assume that they were there on an extended stay, were in an Airbnb in Chimney Rock, and they could not get a hold of them for days making please on Facebook and Instagram. People were, Call this guy. This person might be able to trek up the hill. This dude is in the area. This girl- They haven't had power, self-service, any of that. None of it. None of it.

Finally, a helicopter. They put a GoFundMe page together to get a helicopter up there. Somebody here in Atlanta said, I'll fly the helicopter, and they were found. But that's the level of devastation is that you can't make a phone call. You don't have any water. You don't have any power. Your house might be completely gone. I have friends that- Damage. I have friends that own a campground. There They're gone. Every bit of it is gone. It's a huge campground sitting near a creek, a fucking creek, and everything is gone. Everything. The creek rose to like... It was like a quarter mile wide at one point. It's insane. And Asheville is one of those places where you think, Well, I mean, let's be honest. It's the mountains. It's the mountains, and it's a bunch of hippies up there trying to save the planet. It's just one of those places you would never think that that devastation would come to. First of all, because the mountains often any really intense weather like that. Second of all, because the elevation. But that was not true. When you get 29 inches of rain in 70 hours, there's nothing you can do.

You're in the mountains with all those creeks and rivers and the water just keeps coming down the mountain. There's nothing you can do. So my heart goes out to all of those folks. Absolutely. If there's anything that we can do, I don't even know. You're probably not even hearing this. You're probably not even have the Internet. Well, they have Starlink. Listen, I don't care for Elon Musk. I've made my views clear here. I don't care for him. But I do have to say that that Starlink has become a godsend to a lot of people. I don't care what his politics are right now. I would say that that has been a small ray of sunshine in the Elon Musk story, is that he has done some good in this particular situation by providing free star length to anybody up in that area so that at least they can get a text message to family members or somebody saying, Hey, I'm alive, or I need food, or Come get me, or whatever it is. Our love goes out to those people who are affected just right up the hill from us. If there's anything that we can do, you can certainly reach out and we'll try our best.

Or if you need us to say something, or I don't know, you have some go fund me, you want us to announce, we will be happy to do that. Just reach out to us, 212-4333-TC B. And then going down the list of terribles, P. Fucking Ditty. This story keeps on getting more and more terrible.

Well, I knew we were just at the tip of the iceberg.

Someone is shopping a pornographic video of P. Ditty with a more famous person involved, quote, unquote. A more famous person than P. Ditty? A more famous person than T.

I know I saw that story. P. Diddy. I know I saw that story.

Holy shit. Who not? I'll tell you who not. P. Ditty right now. That guy is in some fucking trouble.

The Mighty of Fallen. Yeah, he should be. I mean, he should be held accountable for every bit of it.

Don't ever get out of jail. I mean, just rot. Just go ahead. If I was him and half of this stuff was true, I would honestly go to the government and I say, I want to make my I know I'm never going anywhere. Do me a favor and at least don't put me in solitary confinement for the rest of my life, and I will do what I need to do. I'll pay the victims, I'll spill the beans, whatever. I mean, he's in a tough situation, but he has apparently hurt a lot of people, and now they are coming for their pound of flesh. That is crazy, including children. I mean, that's just insane. I don't believe in conspiracy theories, but you hear this shit and you're like, Well, I don't know about these elites and these big sex rings and all that. Then you go to yourself, Wow, this is big. 120 new accusers supposedly filing lawsuits.

Wow, 120.

In the next couple of days, which is just insane. Now the federal government has at least alluded to the fact that many of these victims who are going to sue P. Diddy are also coming forward to talk to the government. So He will never get out of jail if half of this stuff is true. I don't think. I mean, unless he's got a really fan… This guy needs Atticus Finch is who he needs basically to defend him. I mean, obviously, this is- I don't think Atticus Finch would defend him. No, I don't think so. But you know what I'm saying. He needs F. Lee Bailey or somebody like that. Remember F. Lee Bailey? I do. The guy from the O. J. Trial? What else did he do? Wasn't he involved in the mansion case in some way, shape, or form?

I think so.

Prosecute? Or was that Giuliani? Well, no. Giuliani did the mob. I think it was F. Lee Bailey that at one point prosecuted Manson, and manson jumped out the back of the court window. He went to the bathroom, and he jumped out of the court window. He was gone for three months. No one could find him. What? You didn't know that part of the story? No. Yeah. Which, oh, no, not Manson. I'm sorry. Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy. Oh, okay. Yeah. Ted Bundy was at court one time, and he said, Can I go to the bathroom? And they were like, Sure. He was like, such apparently nice guy that everyone was like, Yeah, no problem. He's like, I'll be right back. He jumped out the window and fled for three months. Oh my God. It was insane. So this Pete Diddy story just keeps on getting curiouser and curiouser, and I can't stop reading about it. I'm like, Oh, my God. And then all these pictures of him with these celebrities look worse and worse. The more that you see it, the more that you look into it, it looks worse and worse. It's like my pool right now.

Every day I wake up and it looks a little bit more murky. You know what I'm saying? Chrissy.

Do you put a cover on it?

No, I can't put a cover on that thing. Yeah, it's huge. Well, it's also very dangerous to put a cover on it. It's dangerous, it's huge, and then you open it up to a big problem that then you have to fix because you can keep the pool running even with a cover on it, but you can't put any chemicals in it. You can't clean it. You can't do any of that stuff.

I don't know the ins and outs of all this.

Yeah. So you can close the pool. I don't know because I'm not really good at this, actually, but I believe you just shock the shit out of it and make the chlorine levels super high for the winter, I believe. And then you try and manage it back down when you're going swimming. But also the pool is huge. It would take a lot of cover to cover it. And third of all, it's just dangerous. If someone falls in, if the dog walks on it, and then it's just a whole nightmare. That's true. I mean, they have safety covers.

Plus, I'm thinking about what you would uncover when you uncovered it. Oh, my God.

A frog pond like it is right now. There were three fucking frats. It was fine until the storm came, and the storm here was nothing. It was a spritz. I mean, it rained a lot, and there was some trouble downtown with some of the creeks and rivers and stuff like that. But I think for the most part, we got out unscathed. People who got flooded here had their house on stilt because it's been flooding there for a long time. I mean, most of them anyway. I don't want to minimize the damage, but you get what I'm saying is that it wasn't necessarily unexpected that those areas would flood because they're in flood plains. We did not get it. Like, Asheville got it, say that. But after it rained, I had it all fucking fixed. And then after it rained, day after day, I would look out there and I'd go, Is that? Is it turning up? I'm colorblind, too. So I'm like, Is that? Got a little twinge of... Is that a little greenish, a little marquey? And this morning I woke up and it was a straight up frog pond. So two days ago, it was green.

Everything was green. Algae all over the side of the walls. And I'm like, What the fuck? What happened? And I go in there and Gustavo was here. Gustavo. Gustavo. I go out there and I start cleaning up some of the leaves and stuff. Then I'm trying to get some of the algae off the side of the walls. Every time that I go down to pick up another pile of leaves off the bottom of the pool, another frog jumps out. I'm like, What the fuck is going on? I don't mean jumps out. I mean, jumps off the bottom of the pool and is now swimming in the pool. So me and Gustavo, and the frogs don't know how to get out of the pool. Once they're in there, they don't know how to get out of the pool. So me and Gustavo are playing frog rescue, throwing the frogs out, trying to scoop them up with our hand and throw them of the pool, and they just bounce back in. It's all fucking thing going on.

I noticed a bunch. I saw a huge grasshopper on my fence the other day. And then also, too, just yesterday, running around town, there were these grasshoppers all over the place.

Yeah, probably because the storm. The storm? The storm, yeah. When the storm comes and it soaks the ground, the ants, their mounds get disturbed and roaches fall off the trees. I know. It's like a whole thing. When there comes a lot of rain, in Chicago, where I used to live, you know what used to happen when it rained a lot, is the earthworms would come out in bundles. I mean, they would just all be like, and it was... If you went after a storm, you went into your backyard, nice green grass, all you'd see is just earthworms crawling out of it. It's creepy, I'm sad. I love the rain, but I never wanted to go in my grass right after a storm because the earthworms creep me out. Then forget about it, my grandpa took me fishing. The one time my grandpa took me fishing. I'm like, I'm not touching that shit. Don't get that shit away from me. Stop being a big baby. I was in World War II. I just don't know what to do with that pool anymore. I called professional help, but of course, it's $10,000 to clean your pool. When it looks like that, it's $10,000.

I'm talking to the A cool guy the other day, like Buba from the pool company, Buba's cool pool company, because they're also all very busy. I had to call 30 different pool companies until someone called me back. And the guy calls me this morning. He's like, Yeah, I'll be out there tomorrow. So you send me a couple of pictures of your pool. Man, that pool is out of whack. And I go, Yes, it is. He goes, How long did it take you to get that green? And I go, Well, about a week. About a week? And I said, A week? And he goes, A week? And I go, A week? And he goes, Man, you've been messing with those chemicals in ways I don't understand. If it got green in a week.

I was going to say all your hard work of going to the- Hard work?

Thousands of dollars worth of pool came up.

Thousands of dollars and your back issues?

Jesus Christ. Back issues, the calcium running through my brain. So I'm like, Yeah, but you can help me, right? And he's like, Well, I'm going to I'm going to tell you something, and I know this is true because I've heard other pool companies say it to me. He goes, Well, I'm going to tell you something now, brother. I do a great job cleaning the pool. I come out every week and I'll be happy to do that. But you need a green to clean service, which I do, but it's very expensive. This will be about $400 every time I come out. It could take me four times to get it right. I was like, $1,600 to clean my pool to make the water clear? I've already spent $4,000 on chemicals. It's not doing shit. He's like, That's the problem is you got You got to tickle it a little this way. Tinkle it's balls this way, and then tickle it's balls that way, and then rub the shaft a little bit and get it to jizz. I'm like, Okay, I get it. Yeah, 10,4. He goes, Take that pool water up to the pool place, get them to test it.

Then what you need to do is get some green to clean. It's about $58 a bottle. It gets you about 10 bottles of that. Then you need about, this is what he said, You need about 40 pounds of shock. I'm like, 40 pounds of shock? You just did that. No, I put 40 pounds of salt in there. Well, I know. I put 200,000 pounds of salt in there. I had so many bags of salt. So I'm like, Really? And he's like, Yeah, just go there. They'll tell you how to use it and everything. You got the whole thing and you got to do it. He goes, But you're going to save yourself probably about seven, $800 on me. He goes, Because I'm just going to do the same thing. And I was like, Okay, all right. Well, I appreciate you being honest.

At this point, are you just like, Fuck it. I'll deal with it.

Honestly, yeah, honestly, with all the drama that's going on. But I can't stand. I'm just OCD to look out there and see that green pool. I got the pool and you open these two big, huge windows in my bedroom and all you can see is that fucking green pool with the frog swimming in it. And I swear to God, they're swimming in it. It's like a field day for them. They love it. It's perfect pH balanced for the frogs. They're eating the algae off the walls and having a field day. So I go up to the pool place again, and they're looking at me like, Dude, you've been in here six times with your pool water trying to get this right. And I'm like, I don't know what's going on. So this guy Well, the storm, too, probably.

Yeah, the storm. Because you said your pool was overflowing.

It was overflowing, and it was overflowing for hours. You can put all the salt you want in a pool. If you keep on refreshing it with fresh water, it's going to get fucked up. Then you put leaves in it, and that's organic matter. It's just like having people swim in it. That's also organic matter. That's why you have to put chlorine in it occasionally to get the organic matter to die, skin cells and hair and all that other stuff. Anywho, so I say, I go, Hey, listen, if you get your children to die, you got to throw a bunch of chemicals in there. Anyway, I say, Hey, here's my pool water. The guy goes, All right, well, it says the same thing. You need green to clean and a bunch of shock, like a box of shock, 12 bags of shock. I'm like, Okay, all right. What's the damage, Doc? He's like, I have about 460. Okay, all right, whatever. Let's just get this. I don't have $460. I'm putting all... A Discover card is going to cut me off pretty soon. I'm like, Okay, let me just swipe it there. I have a Discover card.

I probably owe $70,000, and I only buy stuff at the pool store, the Discover card. At least I'm getting cashback. Thanks, Discover. Exactly. Get the cash back. I get all this green to clean stuff, and I'm out there with the broom dusting up all the algae. Christie, that pool is a hot fucking mess. And if this doesn't work, if this doesn't work, I I'm going to pay the guy the $1,600. We're going to have to do 16 fucking additional episodes of this show. To pay for it. To pay for it. But I swear to God, because I can't deal with it anymore. I don't know what I did. I don't know what happened. Maybe Maybe some of the pool equipment's broken or something. Maybe that's the part.

That's all about it. Oh, God, you're going to drive yourself crazy.

Well, I'm just going to let Buba deal with it. I'm just going to be like, Buba, fix it.

I think that's probably best.

I don't care what it costs anymore. I don't give a... I'm one of those guys that when I'm in over my head, I like to pay people to fix the problem. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm not one of those try and fix it myself. Get out of the profession. I'm not that smart. Go to the profession. I quit taxes. Right. Don't get the guy who is half retired and 79 years old. Get the who are actively involved in actually doing text. A little lesson from Chrissy and Brian, you out there. A little PSA. A little PSA for you. Speaking of PSA, I have... So since we're going to take some time off, I found a video. Remember Zon, the guy Zahn, the poids that we did? Yes. Who he was like the most depressing- He had all his books in Turkey or something, or where was he living? He was in Switzerland or Sweden or Amsterdam or something.

I thought it was Algeria.

Oh, Yeah, maybe it was. Maybe it's from Meccan or something. One of those countries over there. He was living there. Romania. Was it Romania? Romania. He had a whole apartment full of books that he never sold. He was going to give them away for free. He's like, Worst mistake I've ever made. Spend 10 years writing this book and didn't sell one copy. Anyway, Zahn actually is given a more recent... Had a more recent appearance at the '21 Convention, which we just love because the mining content there is easy. You just pick any video and go through it. So That's ridiculous. Our favorite poir, Zahn, is back, and we'll go through it, but I think this might be a good one. And maybe this is a multi-episode one for you and the folks out for you, the one listening, and the other folks in your car listening. People in your office or at your warehouse. Thank you, listener. Yeah, thank you, listener. We'll go through it, and we'll see how everything goes. But maybe we'll go all the way through his little presentation. I think we should check it out. See what he's got to say about his brand new book, Ten Ways to be an Alpha Male.

I wonder if he did it all, researched it during the pandemic.

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, he's such a great author. His last book did such huge numbers. Why not? All right, we'll be back.

Call me Beat me if you want to reach me at 212-433-3-TCB. If you have any comments, questions, compliments, or content ideas, that's 212-433-3822. You can also find us on the interweb at tcbpodcast. Com, which is where all of our audio and video lives. So check it out. And then while you're at it, you can follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at Tcb Podcast. That's all for now, so let's have a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.

My name is Jack Wagner, host of other Other World, a podcast featuring real people who experience something paranormal, supernatural, or unexplained.

I have no idea how I got there.

I don't think I've ever seen anything that looks like this.

It felt like electric stars on fire.

I started Other World to take a grounded approach to the paranormal, help people tell their own stories, and encourage more to come forward. I certainly don't have the answers, but maybe one day we will. Join me as we explore our world's greatest mysteries. Listen to Other World now for free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcast.

All Great. Two house clean... Two pool cleaning items before we get on. We get this show on the road here. Number one, you should have received refunds if you bought tickets to any of either of our Florida shows. If you have not, please contact impact the venue and let them know. Then if you have extra trouble, then you can, of course, reach out to us, 212-4333-TCB. Additionally, we will be announcing new dates very shortly, so keep that in mind. It looks like we'll be adding some dates, too. We'll call it a tour, just like that guy on my Facebook calls his the tour when he goes to the open mic nights. There you go. All right. Zon is at the '21 conference. I think this is about a year ago, the last '21 conference there has been, because, of course, they didn't continue in 2024.

No, there was a shake-up.

There was a big shake-up, big financial trouble over at the '21 Convention.

Yeah, the leader.

Yeah. Apparently, the Motel 6 that they were doing it at was owed some money, and they couldn't get it going again. There you go. But here's the Premier Men's Conference, '21 Convention. Here's our old buddy Zon. He's going to give a presentation. We'll listen through it.

There you go. The Men's Conference of the Century.

Big balls.

Welcome back to the '21 Convention 2022 of Orlando, Florida, celebrating 16 years at 21 Studios and the 21 Convention.

Oh, it says 2022, but then the video says 2023, so I don't know. I may not remember.

Live events being held at 21 Summit. Super duper triple event.

Our next super duper, triple event.

I think that's the leader, the guy that's talking right now on stage, I think he's the one that- Is it the guy? I think he's the one that- His mega hat.sank the- That sank the whole- Sank the show.

That sank the whole men's conference business in central Florida? Yeah.

Speaker is actually an alumni, returning speaker to the '21 Convention, first speaking in 2006. I don't love that.

I mean, if the elite alumni of the '21 Convention is Zahn, the guy who couldn't sell any books, you're really scraping the bottom. He's struggling.

Yeah. Seen at our event in Miami, Florida, and again at our 10-year anniversary in 2017. He's a returning speaker from those events. He's also the founder of Ars Amrata. Well, this guy is- Ars Amrata.

Ars Amrata, which in Romania is just a huge hit with all the... One time we did that mail order brides in Romania.

Oh, yeah. That was creepy. I was thinking about that thing for days after we watched that.

Listen, we got so many people that contacted us, including my father, my father listened to that episode. He was like, Oh, does that really happen? I said, Yeah, I think a couple of your sons could use that Mail Order Brides service.

The alabaster girl. I think above and beyond that, though, he is a legend in the manosphere. He's a godfather of the manosphere, more specifically. The Or more specifically- Manosphere.

God. Come on. Zahn is a godfather of a manosphere? Which manosphere is he godfather of? I don't see any fiefdom. Okay, I'll let it go. By the way, let me go off on this for a minute. I started watching that Aaron Hernández. Remember Aaron Hernández, the football player?

I do, and I've almost watched that a couple of times. Get on it.

It's another cheesy, campy retelling of events, but there's 10 episodes. They've only released four of the episodes, and I'm I haven't watched the fourth one yet because it just came out this morning. But I do have to say I'm invested in this story now. Aaron Hernández was apparently closeted, and that may have led to some of his troubles. I Yeah. P. P. Diddy and Aaron Hernandez, you just be who you are. Everything would have turned out okay.

Godfather of the seduction community that you guys probably have heard about through all the fame and the media.

Dude, this guy has... The seduction community. Zon coming up has the greasiest hair. Listen, I don't care what you look like, and I don't want to make fun of your looks. But if he's the godfather of the seduction community, then you don't have much to hang your hat on because it's like Zon mystery, that guy who's now the head of Trump Bitcoin University or whatever, and fucking Adam the Liar Alliance. Really?

Yeah. Picked up over many decades. There's a true godfather of that. He's old school. I mean, this guy has been around longer than me. I found it in 2005 when I was still very young.

I grew up-Wow, this guy's a ball of excitement, isn't he? It's hard to believe that this conference went belly up. That guy's got big dick energy.

Watching this guy, very inspired by him when I was very young as a teenager. I'm very proud to have him not only at our events, but back at them again for his third time. Without further ado, please let me welcome Zan Parian to the stage.

Zan Parian. Zan Parian. Ron.

Okay.

All right. Now, let me get into it because I've got other things to do.

Why did they have those flags?

You know why they have those flags. Don't ask that.

That is the one on the right? Is that the Florida?

It's the State of Florida flag. Yeah. Flying the Ron DeSantis flag for all people to see. Right next to the American flag and the MAGA hat.

We go. Get my water.

Yeah, I remember this guy likes to drink a lot of water, so we'll get into it.

I have no PowerPoint for you guys.

You don't have no PowerPoint?

Yeah, well, that's exciting. Thanks for already making me go to sleep. My pair of thyroid is now shedding down for the rest of the afternoon.

I don't even have a speech.

Oh, well, great. Thanks for coming prepared. It's free-balling it. Yes. He's jumping with no parachute. I like his style. Of course, there's nobody in the audience anyway. Did you hear how many people were clapping? Do you prepare for this? I wouldn't. I just feel like, listen, I've been to a lot of podcast conferences and I know what crowd is going to show up. And after a while, you just stop worrying about it. You're like, well, I know what I know. I'll say some things and people will go, oh, wow. Exciting. Here's my advice to all new podcasters. Just press record. I'm so inspired by what you said. Yeah, I was inspired by that shit, too, at first. Now I'm inspired by cold, hard cash.

I've been talking for 20 years on stage, as Anthony was saying, for 20 years all around the world. I thought, What am I going to talk about here? It's been a couple of years because of coronavirus that I did talk, but it's like, I have nothing that I have to earnestly say to you. You're going to like this.

I'm just going to... This is the exact same thing he said at his last 2017 conference. Besides the coronavirus thing, he said, I'm not, I have no speech prepared.

Riff on a few things I'm thinking about. I'm curious about.

Oh, please, Riff.

That I love.

He looks like an overweight Jack White. Jack White forgot to go to the orthodontist. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Interesting. Anthony was saying that I've been doing this for a long time, 20 years? And there's something changing in me after all these years. A new phase, I guess.

A new flower.

I'm 58 years old.

Blooming in in my genitalia. 58 years old, it doesn't work like it used to. What's up with the bolo tie?

That is a bolo tie. I thought it was a necklace, but it is a bolo.

It's a bolo. It's hung low. Yeah, it's hung low. I got to say, a couple of weeks ago, the youngest of the brood, Patrick, my brother, texted me. And it was like, I don't know, 8:30 on a Saturday night or something. And he says, Hey, Brian, do you remember your bolo And I was like, What the fuck are you talking about? And he goes, From like, fourth grade to like, ninth grade, you were into bolos. Do you remember that? And I was like, I do remember that, actually. I think it was more like third grade, so 12th grade. But yes, I remember. I like your bolo phase. And he's like, Do you have any pictures of you in a bolo? And I'm like, I'm sure I do somewhere. But I went through a bolo phase. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. But now I'd realized the error of my ways. And by 58, I would hope that Zon would also. But maybe in Romania, bolos are cool.

Yeah, it's hung low, too. Yeah, hung low. Kind of styled differently.

The slow and low bolo.

It'll be 60 in a year and a half.

Look at the crowd. They're doing a crowd shot for the first time ever in a '21 convention. There's three people. There is literally three people. They are so far apart from each other. I know. It's going on. I guess that's what you do is when you don't have anybody, you space them out.

Here so. I'm thinking, there's guys out there who are looking to me as a father figure, which is interesting. And part of the theme of this conference is- Daddy, can you help me pick up girls?

Daddy, I need pussy belly. I smell a little funky and I eat taco Bell. Oh, Daddy, I need some vulva. I'm watching too much Netflix and I'm going through hell. I need to get in some hot She's a patriarch.

The benevolent patriarch, which is a beautiful concept.

Oh, you're a benevolent patriarch. Oh, that's what you are. Have you ever been? Have you ever had a girlfriend? I'm a benevolent patriarch. Zahn.

Well, that's what I'm thinking.

Where's the hot chics around Zahn? Right. I mean, she's obviously not going to come up on stage with him. We don't know that part of his life. But if I'm not mistaken, that's a wedding. Is that a wedding? No, that's a pinkie. No, it's a pinkie. The ball-O in the pinkie ring at 60. Takes balls. Takes balls to do that.

And I'm shifting into a a different phase where I'm thinking I'm going to...

I don't trust-Shifting into a low T phase. I'm winding things down a little bit. By the way, this is awful fancy camera work. It is. It is. Very pro. They got the sliding camera panning, zooming, crowd shots of all three For three people, this is Balzy, in a very small hotel conference room.

As much as I used to. I don't talk as much as I used to, but I sure believe in a good message that I'm going to try and share a little bit with you, and I hope you get it. I'll just throw it.

There is literally like 10 people in the crowd. It's very sparse. Wow.

Just my ideas in the air and let it land on your shoulders and see if it resonates.

I'm going to jizz on you. I'm going to see how far I can shoot a load. How do you feel about that?

Let it land on you. Let it settle in.

Let it settle in. If it just starts burning through their clothes.

With you and your experience, talking about this- What's up with the long, tight T-shirt covering his butt?

This is his style. He's got a style going on. I'm not saying it's good or bad because God forbid, I a T-shirt on every episode of the commercial break, and usually the same T-shirt. So God forbid, I say something about somebody else's style. But this is out there. But maybe in Romania, this is where it's at.

Yeah, maybe.

The idea of the patriarch. My concept that I'm thinking these days is what exists, this phrase, what exists because of you? What exists because of you?

What exists because of me? What exists because of me? What exists because of you? A statue I made out of Happy Meal boxes.

He's throwing out the wisdom.

A super computer I built by myself. Pikachu cards everywhere.

Which is the concept of legacy. What does that look like?

This guy didn't come to hear about- What's the concept of legacy to you. These guys did not come here to hear about fucking legacy.

They want tips on how to pick up chips now.

You aren't fucking Titman Chan. No one gives a fuck. You're not a show gun, dude. I don't know. I mean, honestly, let's be honest about it.

A living legacy. Not something after you're dead, necessarily, but what are you creating in this world? What do you have to look forward to? I think the worst deficit in the hearts of men and women is when they don't have anything to look forward to, nothing that they're yearning waiting to war.

Did these guys come to hear a speech about their legacy, or are they trying to get late? They're trying to get late. The few people that are there, the guys look rather young. They're only showing the back of their heads. I can understand why that is because no one has agreed to be on tape. It's like, you never show the jury or the victims in a cour. You know what I'm saying? But at the end of the day, these guys didn't come to hear this shit, Zon. They want to hear about how you get girls, how you've been so successful, what made you the benevolent patriarch of the seduction community.

I think about what exists because of me. Dandruff.

That's what it says. It's because of you.

I have a daughter. I talked about in the patriarch side yesterday. I'm very close to you.

She's so proud. Yeah, she I must be proud.

What does your dad do?

That what you've created in this world is a bunch of zombie pickup artists that run around being insincere and inauthentic about who they are and what their intentions are.

But private about this because she's my darling.

She's embarrassed of you.

She's really of the valley to me, and I adore her, and I love her. I was early 20s when... She's in her 30s now. I was in my early 20s when she was born, and I didn't know how to be a dad. I was a single guy chasing girls.

So I went to Romania.

Fuck off to Romania, and I wrote a couple of books. They're still in my apartment in Romania, the books, not the girls. But she's been awful proud of me for the last three or four days that I've been speaking with her. She asked me to keep her name out of it.

Over two, three times a week, and I didn't know how to be a dad, so I just played. She'd paint my toenails and we'd dance to Madonna. And I loved her every minute of every day to the point where all these years that I've been speaking, nobody knows this, but for 20 years that I'm public speaking, including today, every time before I go on stage, all over the world, in South I go to Panama to Stockholm, I always call her because as soon as I hear her voice, I'm good. There is nothing that can attack me when I hear her voice.

He's been calling her for the past 20 years before he steps on Yeah. Okay. All right.

I do have to say as a dad of females, I do have to say this resonates a little bit. There is something specific about a father-daughter relationship and a father-son relationship. They're equal and different at the same time. But there is something that is special about this relationship. I'm following him a little bit, but I find it hard to believe.

I mean, if I was her, though, I would rather have him in person instead of calling from the road.

Instead of calling me from Stockholm where I'm about to talk to guys about how to get pussy. Also, it's a little bit rich to be giving this particular speech when you're at the '21 Convention, which is all about the manosphere, quote, unquote.

You might have some naysayers, Well, you say that women are blah, blah, and you just...

That's okay.

I can live with that because I have her. I believe in women because of her.

You just don't believe that they have their own will.

Yeah, that they're very intelligent.

Yeah, you don't believe that they're very intelligent, that they have their own will. You believe that they're creatures of mathematical habits, and you can manipulate that if you can just break the code.

I believe in the kindness and gentleness and grace of the female spirit because of what I see in my daughter. I'm good.

Oh, good for you. Well, thank you. It gives me a lot of relaxation and comfort. At least you do believe that. What in the fuck does this have to do with anything? These You guys are probably like, I paid $1,000, $3,000 for this?

I don't feel the need to try. To try to convince you of something.

Because you believe it. Because you believe it.

I also believe in men. I'm here for a good message for you guys because the world is broken. Society is in anarchy. There's no good messages, save one.

Oh?

Oh. And I, Zahn, benevolent patriarch, I'm here to deliver it.

Godfather's on.

Godfather's on. I'm here to deliver it kindly with my benevolent hand. Let's hear that message after we take a break. You knew it was coming. You started laughing because you knew it was coming. All right, we'll be back.

Look, I only just started following the commercial break on Instagram, too, and that's on me. But you need to follow us at the Commercial Break on Instagram and at T-C-B podcast on TikTok. I know that you are not sick of hearing that, and you never will be, right? Something else you're definitely not sick of hearing is our phone number, 212-4333-TCB. So text us or call us, but be nice to me because I'm a highly sensitive person and I just can't take the Fame. If you want to be nice to me on another platform, you can go to our website, tcppodcast. Com. Actually, you can just watch videos of Brian and Christie and listen to them all day long. And I know that that will be the best day of your life. Now, let's listen to someone who's actually very nice to me, and that's our sponsor. And let's get back to the show.

We're laughing at Christina's line.

We love them. Yeah.

Okay. Mac was on. He's going to give us the... He says, There's no good messages in the world, save one. And he's about to deliver it.

What exists because of you is the thought and the process I've been sitting in.

That's the message?

I'm shifting into a phase where I'm sitting in my study. I have a study, my Man Cave.

Oh, you have a study, do you?

With the leatherbound book.

Yes, with the leatherbound book. That are mine. And a throne. Bring me the phone so I may ring my daughter and tell her how I get pussy. She's 30. She can deal with it now.

Mania. I sit there in my rocking chair.

In my rocking chair In Romania. Yeah, we were right. There you go.

I love it. When I was a kid, I used to sit and dream, and I would read fiction books as a kid, Tarzán books and stuff, and I was sitting in a rocking chair.

Bring me my phone.

What? It's, Bring me my phone so I may ring up thy pussy. Hello, Barbara. Are you available tonight? It's Zon, benevolent king of pussy. ' 'Barbara, are you there? Barbara, This phone doesn't work. ' 'Bring me another phone so I may ring Barbara back and get to thy pussy for the evening. ' 'Barbara, it's me, Zahn, from another phone. ' 'The benevolent king of what? ' 'Barbara, Barbara, this phone is also trash. Bring me my computer so I may text Barbara. What? Blocked. This computer is trash. Have it burned with my bolos.

And all the years I've been traveling and speaking and wandering around the Earth and different places, I didn't have a rocking share.

What? I thought we were going to talk about the one good message on Earth. Now we're talking about rocking chairs?

All the years.

All the years I've been walking on earth. I've never had a rocking chair, but now I solve the problem.

It's high study.

I can see him at an Aldi in Romania. Where's my rocking chair? Barbara, bring me my rocking chair.

I randomly bought one, and I realized what I've been missing all these years. I can't think without it. I do all my Zoom calls in a rocking chair. Yeah, okay, guys, let's go.

How about people love that on your Zoom calls?

You know what's coming to mind at this part in the presentation? The beginning of the presentation where he said, I have nothing prepared. I'm just going to jizz on you and hopefully It makes sense. That's what's coming to mind. If I was in this room, I would be out skiing about skiing. I'd be like, This is not what I paid for.

So I'm shifting into this... I'm shifting into a real patriarch type of face. I can feel it.

My rocking chair face.

I can feel it. I can feel it in my prostate. I'm getting up to urinate much more frequently than I did before. But thank God I have my Rocking Chair. It's got wheels. It's zipped. Bring me to the urinal so I may piss again. And where's Barbara?

To share, gather around. And what would I say to my young self? My young self who was so lost and lonely, is so alone.

Why is he patting his face like that? I don't know. I would say, take care of your skin. Moisturize.

Less cologne.

Yes, less cologne.

Less cologne to the end of self.

More What would I say to that, to him, now, knowing what I know now? Incredible. Incredible. I'm incredible.

Did you hear that? He is drawing us out.

He is not giving us any digestible information having to do with anything. I was willing to accept the fact we were going to go in a different direction and maybe not do so pick-up-artistry type bullshit. But now we are lost in space. Completely. And Will Robbins is not there to save us.

I would say, Blessings upon you, my son. It's going to be okay. Because I believe this is going to be okay. I know it's going to be okay because I've seen it.

I am a young Pope in my mind. I know. Blessings upon you, young son. It's going to be okay. You're going to have a rocking chair someday.

And a study.

And a study. And copies of books that I signed for no one. A lot of things. Where was I? And I'm done. This is so good.

I have a beautiful girl in Romania that I've been with for 10 years. 10 years.

Barbara.

Long-term relationship. I showed some of you guys the text I got from her yesterday, right?

It showed her vulva. It was from 10 years ago. I have been in a relationship with Barbara. It's a pretty one-sided relationship. She sent me some nudes 10 years ago, and I've been texting back ever since. More nudes? Tidpick?

Ten years, and it's got the height and the depth of devotion and admiration and love. I tell you, it's not fair to me that I have a daughter of that beauty and a girl of that beauty, and other guys do not. That's not fair.

It's not fair. So I'm willing to sell them to you right here, right now. Hi, it's bitter. Ebay-style, auction? Popcorn bidding. Who's in?

It should be for all. So my mission is to give you some concepts and ideas that you can have it, too, because it's for you. It's available to you. And that's not what the message you from this modern society. You don't hear that from the modern world.

The message is your 30-year-old daughter and your 10-year-old relationship in Romania are available to all guys. That's the positive message you want to send? Tell me how. 1999 plus 1999 shipping and handling. Romanian chick plus 30-year-old daughter needs nothing from you anymore.

But I'm a real believer in it.

Me too.

I was telling a story yesterday.

Last- Why do I feel like he's always telling a story to somebody no matter where he is?

He's definitely doing it.

Why do I feel like this is the guy I would avoid at the bar? I'd walk into the bar and I go, Shit, Zahn's here. Let's go over here. As soon as he starts walking, talk to me. Pretend like we're in an intense conversation. Hey, Zahn. Hey. Good to see you. But listen, we're chitten-chatting something up really important. Give me three hours and I'll be gone from the I hope we see each other again, too.

A year and a half ago, my niece contacted me and said, Uncle John, my first name is Jonathan. My middle name is Zan. So my family calls me John.

Wait, Jonathan Zahn?

John Zon. John Zahn? John Zahn? John Zahn? Your name is John Zahn? John Zahn. John Zahn. Is that what Barbara calls you?

So she said, Uncle John, ever Ever since I was a little girl, she was getting married. Ever since I was a little girl, I always dreamed about that you were going to be the one to marry us. I'm like, What?

What? We're getting married? This isn't in Alabama. No, I'm kidding. Alabama jokes are passe. This isn't Romania?

I had no clue. She never mentioned this. I'm like, I can't marry you. I'm not a Reverend. Well, you go online, you get ordained. I'm like, Okay. So I went online, got ordained. I'm Reverend.

Reverend John is on here.

Blessings, my child.

Blessings upon you, child.

That's where the blessings came in. Of course.

Jonathan Zanperian.

Laught here.

I got her dained, and I flew to Michigan a year and a half ago in the middle of COVID, and I thought, okay, it's going to be a small eight-person COVID wedding, right? No, it was a big, giant thing on the lake with swans and unicorns. Swans and unicorns?

What's going on in Romania?

No, Michigan.

Oh, Michigan.

People in a Michigan.

Oh, shit. I got to get to Michigan.

Where everybody was defying any order.

Weed has just been made legal in Michigan over the last five years. I think Jean Jean. That's not like Jean Jean, is it? Jean Jean? Jean Jean. Jean Jean.

It was a giant... Like you see in the movies with the gazebo and everything. I was nervous. I was nervous to talk at her wedding. I only had to talk for 15 minutes or so. I've done a lot of public speaking, and I did not get I was nervous there because... I don't know why.

Because you're not talking about how to get pussy in front of a bunch of guys.

You're actually marrying.

You got to be a human being for 15 minutes.

I just really wanted to give a good message for her, my niece. I'll tell you what my message was, because this is, to me, the essence of a loving, long-term, beautiful relationship that goes as long as needs to go, that's available to you. That's available to you.

As long as it needs to go. Not sure that's how marriage works. As long as it needs to go. Till death do us part or as long as I need to.

Honey, little secrets, I tell you. I know a lot.

I know a lot.

Devotion. This is what I said to them. I'm marrying them. They're here and here. The people are eight bridesmaids and eight dudes hanging out.

I thought I would be in my speech with the marriage. Did you bring a slide show? Can we bring out the slides? Because it might be more entertaining than this. I'm not sure, but this is crazy. He has gone from, I don't know. I don't even know where he started. He's gone from, I have nothing prepared, to, I'm the benevolent patriarch of the seduction community, to, I got a rocking chair in the daughter, to, You two can have it, to, I was getting married, to, Let me paint the picture where there's unicorns and swans on a lake in Michigan.

This is what I said because I really believe it. I said, You and you gaze...

Gaze over here. Gaze. I know what he means. Gaze like, look.

Into each other's eyes.

This is your beloved. That's a word we don't use anymore. We use my significant other, my partner, date night, work on a relationship. We use these phrases that are- What?

I don't think date night and beloved are interchangeable.

And partner. Significant other and date night.

Significant other, date night. This is my date night. This is Astrid. Let me call my Date Night. My Date Night. Nice to meet you. I am Brian, and this is my Date Night. Sounds like a prostitute or something. What is he talking about? He's lost the There's like 40 minutes left to go. What's he going to talk about next?

Soul killing. We don't have the concept of the beloved. This is my beloved in whom I am well pleased.

I'm well pleased. I think you're just upset we're not talking in old English anymore. I know. This is thy beloved with whom I am well pleased and satisfied in the groanial area. I shall now jizum all over my beloved.

And if you have that, if you look at your significant other as your beloved, something's- They're like, Yeah, but how do we get the first step?

How do we meet girls? He's like, How do I get out of my basement and into a room where my beloved might be? How do I do that? Because I'm not entirely sure, and that's why I paid $3,000 to be here.

It already. It already has a magic and a mystique because that's your beloved. It's a biblical word. We don't use it anymore.

Oh, my God. Where is he going with this?

Look upon each other as your beloved, which we're starving for in this modern world.

Okay. All right, listen. We're an hour in. We've heard nothing substantive. Yeah. I'm getting a theme with all these pois. If they just talk in circles, then they can charge money. And talk slowly. Yeah, talk slowly. That's right. Well, you got to think it through. You don't want to sound like a total idiot all the time. I mean, listen.

It's good to know that Jean is on his journey, if you will.

I'm sure that Jean has been on his journey, fucker.

And now he's in his rocking share phase.

Listen, I'm sure the people that Jean Zahn, they think he's perfectly lovely guy, and he probably is a perfectly lovely guy, but he's espousing some ridiculous notions. We're just going through and listening to him espouse nothing, actually. Not a thing. Haven't heard a thing from him. No. Or his bolo. Yeah, or his bolo. That's right. When's that thing going to pop on?

Do like a 3D holiday. I wanted to tighten it up and get down to business.

Yeah, it needs to be up here. But he's wearing a T-shirt, like a Jack White T-shirt. All right. Well, we'll get back to this pile of nothing next week. Sorry. Next week. I want to thank very much for Kelsey Cooke coming in this week. What a lovely human being. I really enjoyed our conversation with Kelsey Cooke. Me, too. Check her out. She's up and coming, and she can kick your ass in foosball, if that's how it's said, foosball. So check her out. I think it's kelseycooke. Com. Check her on the socials. I think she's doing some live shows. She's got a special out there, and we enjoyed it. We hope she comes back. Okay, tcbpodcast. Com. More information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You have to go to no man's other website right here at this website. You can also get your free TCB sticker by going to the Contact Us button, hitting the drop down menu, I want my sticker. Give us your address, and we'll send you one. No must, no fuss. You don't even have to listen to us talk. Well, Well, you had to listen to us talk to get to this point.

You get what I'm saying. 212-433-3tcb. 212-433-3822. Dial us up. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. We're taking them all at that phone number. Have a commercial break. On Instagram, T-C-B podcast on TikTok and youtube. Com/thecommercialbreak for all of our interviews and selected episodes. Okay, Christie, that's all I can do for right now.

I think so. But I love you.

I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christie and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye.

Ed, I have it.