Transcript of FUNNIEST ADVICE TO SPICE THINGS UP! | EP 473

Because I stay. I stay in this, no matter what's going on. There might be a perpendicular. Just maybe just a cricket. That's the most you're getting from me. It's like one of these. I'm either here, frontal plane, or I'm like, Yeah. Or I'm like, Here. Guys.

Girls.

Cool. The first thing I noticed, this room's really like, acoustic, like cushioned.

I noticed that when I went to use the toilet, obviously, they play music outside, and obviously it's double-doored. So when I closed the first, I was thinking, I'm hearing a little bit. So I closed the second, I was thinking, vacuum.

Yeah, it's vacuuming. It's scary because I'm used to hearing a bit of reverb.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So guys, we're in Australia. Australia. And it's hot here.

Oh my God. Understatement. It's the hottest place I think it exists.

I think it's this and then the seventh circle of hell. They're about neck and neck. Yeah, the other day we were at the pool and I literally saw my skin burning before my eyes. I had a red... My arm was completely red from here to here. That's never happened in my life.

It's too hot. It was 40 degrees yesterday, I believe. Yeah.

Bro, he's an Uber driver, told us that there's a town in Australia. When we're going to the gym. In the summer, yeah, it's like 51 every day.

Yeah, and he said it's 40 degrees minimum at night. At night.

It's as cool as it gets. That's why they sent prisoners here. That's what they were hoping was going to happen back in the day.

Damn.

Just burn. Yeah, just burn. We can't actually send you to hell.

This is the closest thing.

This is as hot as you can get.

You're going to regret your actions.

Jesus. Damn. Yeah, man. But it's cool, though. It's very cool. It's really nice. We're in Perth right now. Yeah, man. And there's four people that live here.

Yeah. It's quiet.

It's quiet. It reminded me of It reminded me of... I'm not going to lie, when we first landed, it reminded me of From.

Yeah.

Because all the... Either From or The Truman Show. Because all the shit is like, the buildings look pristine, but they look like a movie there. Then we saw three people-There was nobody about. In the city center.

In the city center. Yeah, those were the actors. Yeah. Those were the actors.

Yeah.

It's like a low budget dreamer joke.

The extras was mad. That's crazy. But it reminded me, not reminded me, but it just made me realize that damn, England's a bit too busy. Way too busy. Even though it's small. Way too busy. England has more than twice the population. I think I just clocked. I think someone reported 72 million is the current population of England. Really? I'm pretty sure here's 25. So it's three times as many people in England or in the UK as there are in Australia. Australia is 10 times bigger. So you can just walk down the street, there's no one there. Nobody. You're just chilling.

I asked the barber today, Do you guys get traffic here? And he said, No. He took it with confidence. No, everything's smooth. I was like, Fair play. Play.

It's like you can say that with confidence because you'd assume everyone has their own version of traffic. So even though you might think that it's traffic, it's not what we're used to as traffic. But to just say, No, I've seen traffic in 8: 00 in here.

Yeah, It's 8 traffic, bro. Damn. Smooth sailing. Get to A to B, legend.

Yeah, whatever Waze says it's going to take is exactly how long it takes. It's going to take that. If not sooner.

In fact, there's no red lines on Waze.

That's crazy.

No red lines, just followed the blue.

No need for alternative routes. Similar ETA. Just take whatever you want.

Whatever you want to do, do, bro.

Damn. Yeah, man.

Yeah.

Plus quiet, boy.

Must be nice.

Yeah. Must be nice. We had a nice restaurant last night.

We did. We really did. It's called 6 Head. It's called 6 in this top tier restaurant.

Yeah. I feel like it's called 6 Head for a reason. Because when she tastes that steak, yeah, line up your top 6. You're going to run back, You know? You know that trend where people were in McDonalds and that, Who the fuck made this? Who the fuck made this?

Who made this chicken?

Who made this chicken? Bring him out right now. That's how I felt. I was like, Yeah, You want me to 6 Don's? That made the steak. That made the steak. Because it tastes sweet and salty at the same time. It does not make sense. He said he had the honey. Yeah, he said it had honey glazed, and it didn't make sense.

It was shining. It was shining. It was soft. That was a filet if I've ever seen one.

If I've ever seen one. Never seen a filet so thick in my life. Wow, it was good.

Yeah, man.

Good food. Yeah, 6 Head is where it's at, bro.

Yeah, 6 Heads is good.

I need to eat there again tomorrow. But yeah, we've got our show tomorrow. So this While we're recording this, this is pre-first show of the tour. We've been here for like...

Five days. We landed on a Sunday afternoon, and today is Friday. So, yeah, five days.

Oh, yeah. Let's talk about the flight.

It's also felt like eternity that we've been here as well.

Yeah. Can I Bro, can I say something? Of course. I'm bored.

Daddy's bored, James. I've been in my room a lot of the times and just been on my phone and being so idle. Just so idle. And I'm like, damn. But I think the first day you tried to Google Topgolf.

And it didn't exist.

It didn't exist.

Yeah, that hurt me.

They've got land for it. That should be the first thing on their menu.

To be fair, I saw a Donny on TikTok promoting some golf thing. I can't even remember if it was birth, but it wasn't called Topgolf, it was called something else. But same, same. You know when they have a thing and you hit the ball into it and it does a simulated- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Just a driving range type thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does a simulated thing. He was like, You have to stay in here because it's too hot out there to do the driving thing. And I was like, Well, that's just pointless then. That's why I didn't even mention it. I'm not staying inside, hitting some piece of curtain. I need to see distance.

It's valid. We can't really play games with that as well. Yeah. Like different types of games.

That's boring. But yeah, the flight was about 17 hours. It was How do I explain? What is the English word for it? That's what solitary is. If solitary came with Alien Romulus on the TV, that's exactly what it would be.

Aviation solitary is exactly what that is. Yeah.

And human, at certain points, the ride was bumping. Bumping.

Yeah, the clouds were clouded.

The ride was bumping, bro. Wow. And For some reason, Qantas, they don't tell you to put your seatbelt on for shit. They don't care.

They say, Do what you want. Yeah.

Any other airline, British Airways, the Pussy House, Virgin, the Pussy House, any slight bump, toilets closed, put the seatbelts on. Bro, this man, the whole cabin was shaken. And I was waiting to see- Bro, take off.

I don't know if you could see from your side, but on my side, obviously, I was on the right aisle, you on the left. On the right aisle, take off before it found its perfect altitude. Two doors open adjacent. What? Just swinging, brother. Just swinging. Yeah. Not like main doors. You know doors where they put-Oh, like food and shit? Food stuff. They were just swinging open. Oh, my God. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I was just looking at like, Isn't anyone going to deal with this?

Yeah, now. Bro, yeah. They weren't fair. They were very lazer fair. And the landing was shaky. I was staring at you.

Every time it dropped 5,000 meters or whatever.

It's like he refused to let the nose dip. So he's just like, I'm just going to turn the engine off and let it.

Just let it glide. Yeah, just let it glide down once. He was playing with us.

Yeah, he was. But I watched so much shows. Pretty much all of my bank of shows was depleted by the end of that. Yeah.

Caviate, there was no WiFi. That's a crime as well. Yeah. 17 hours, no WiFi, and the stewards acted as if this is normal. And I couldn't fucking believe it.

Bro, I was pretending not to eavesdrop. When you asked the steward guy about the WiFi, I was pretending like I couldn't hear you. I was refreshing my WiFi just waiting for him to see which one it was so I could be first up. Bro, I heard him say, No, sorry. And I was like...

I couldn't respond. I just had to let him walk away. I couldn't respond because I couldn't believe it. Everyone else on the flight was just like, Yeah, this is our flight. This is how we roll.

No WiFi.

No WiFi, bro.

Yeah, bro. I was struggling. I was playing chess against a bot for hours. And he was Li Chan. She's Eilo 2000, bro. She was murking me, and I just kept doing it because I was so bored.

Yeah, I depleted a lot of my... I was watching a lot of anime. I caught up on... When I say caught up. I rewatched Half of Severance Season 1. I I watched... Well, we watched CastleVania.

Castlevania was crazy good. I need to watch Season 1 again because... Season 1 was really good, man. You were saying in confidence that it's better than Season 2.

A couple of people said- No, I said I preferred it. There's a difference.

In your opinion, it's better then.

I said I preferred the end fight of season one to the main fight of season two. But as a whole, I think season two is better because I enjoy the application of everyone's skills better in season two, if that makes sense.

Yeah, Rictable was on scary, scary levels. Maria was arms. Yeah, Maria was actually arms. I'm glad she came arms because season one, she was pointless to me. Because she was only releasing Tiny Little Birds and One Baby Tiger. I was thinking, this is irrelevant.

Do you know who pissed me off throughout season one and season two?

Let me guess. Who could have pissed you off through season one and season two? Dralta? No. The gay night?

No. I think his character was pretty cool. Yeah, his character was pretty cool. Yeah, his character was pretty cool. Yeah. Our drugs was cool as well.

It's not Alucard.

No.

It's not Richter. No. His grandad?

No, he was heavy.

Yeah, I was going to say he was cool. Wait. The fucking pasta, whatever it is?

No. He was a waste man. He was a waste man. He deserved to die. Spol him alert. He deserved to die.

Maria?

No, she was cool.

She was cool. I'm naming everyone. Wait, damn. Who could have pissed you up? I want to land it. The black thing?

No, she was heavy. She was heavy. I can't remember her name, but she was heavy.

I know exactly. The penny is yours. My money. Edward. Yeah.

Singing his heart out for season one to end of season two.

Yeah, he's a dickhead.

Waste of animation. I'm not statistic. If you're a man of what season one is he into a cast of later, you know Edward was a waste of time.

He's a fucking prick. He's a waste of time. I hate him.

I really hoped that they deaded that whole trying to save him in season one and just move on from him. It was pointless.

The whole build up with the night creatures, him trying to manipulate the night creatures to turn on the other night creatures was so irrelevant on purpose because even when they did do it, it didn't impact anything.

It literally nothing.

It didn't impact anything.

He was a wasted character. It's exactly like when I said a few weeks ago, I were caught up with Freeren, and I was talking about Stark, the guy with the hack. They built him up for no reason. They built him up for no reason. He's just a useless character. Yeah. He was so brave, this man.

Bro, Edward and his singing chops, bro, were pissing me off so much. I didn't understand how they deeped him. They deeped him that it was actually him, but he only relinked with them after the whole season is done. I was thinking, you've been letting your boy chill with the night creatures for two seasons, and not one time, if you gone in there to save him, you just let him sing. You might have crossed bars with him bare times. You realize he's got a soul. Running back or he hasn't tried to come back. It was long, bro. That I agree with. It was the most long and pointless shit I've ever seen. I didn't like it at all. I hated his character. Same. Hated his character. Always singing for no reason. No reason.

That's his only recourse, Love, Justice, or whatever. He was useless.

It was useless. I watched all of that. That was heavy. I watched all of the industry.

Heavy.

Actually heavy. There's a guy called Richie on there. He loses his mind.

Is this the gambler guy?

The gambler guy, yeah. He loses his mind. He bangs the main character on his wedding night in a cubicle. On his wedding night? On his wedding night. He moves away from the wedding just to get some fresh air. Damn. It bangs her. What's her face? Can't remember her name now. But anyway, it was nice.

Damn.

Fair play. Yeah, that show is actually pretty good. Season 3, I didn't know what to expect. Season 1 was cool. Season Season 2 was a bit like... Season 2 had a few of the failures that a lot of season 2s have. Okay.

They're like-Dragon story lines type of thing.

Dragon story lines. We're trying to make it different, but not too different, and all this shit, and you're a bit like... I don't know. It's not hitting. Yeah, it's not hitting. Season 3 came hard. Okay. Yeah, season 3 was very hard. Fair play. So I'm guess with that. Industry, top tier show. Fair play. Strongly advise watching it. Fair play. You've seen succession, right? Of course. Okay, cool. Yeah, you'd like it. Okay. Really, really good. And what else did I watch? Alien Romulus, It's a movie. Exact same film, eight times in a row, nine times in a row. How many times it's been now?

Yeah, I don't know why they keep doing that.

Yeah, it has to be charged.

I don't understand. There must be some form of contract in a movie industry or series industry where they just repeat shit.

There is actually. Is there? It's not a contract, but basically- Obviously, it's not a contract, but there's something. I was listening to an interview with maybe Vince Vawn or someone, and they were talking about IP. And they were saying, Most movie studios, because the risk is too high now and the budget is too high, that unless it has IP, pre-existing IP, no studio will take up anything. So it has to be a sequel or in a game adaptation or a book adaptation Something that they're certain it's on the return. But I feel like the opposite ends up happening. Because then you've got shit like Matrix Revolutions or whatever, which is the worst.

I've never seen it. I never will.

It's the worst movie I've ever seen. I'm never going to watch it. Somehow my brother I enjoyed it. Really? Which, yeah, it spun me in terms of how I feel about him as a person. I was thinking, that's the worst thing I've seen. And you were like, no, it was good. I was like, bro, it's bad. It's objectively bad. Damn. That's why a lot of movies are just dead now, bro.

Okay. No, that's very jarring.

Very, very jarring. And you said Nosferatu is dead?

That's terrible. That's probably the most waste of time money I've spent in my life. Two hours, I'm never getting back. I feel like everyone in the cinema felt the I have the same feeling. I think when credits rolled, I could hear a resounding... Oh, really? One of them ones. It was like, thank God, it's over.

Fuck. Yeah, bro. Do you even think that they achieved what they were trying to achieve?

I can't say because I've never seen the original. I've never really been a Nosferatu fan or whatever. It was just one of those ones. Okay, this is a horror/thriller. Let me watch it. Let me judge. But I can't say because, again, I've not seen the original.

That's how I felt about the Green Knight. The Green Knight with the guy from Monkey Man. I can't remember his name. Oh, Patel?

Is that Dev Patel?

Dev Patel. Dev Patel, yeah. The Green Knight? He plays like some fucking medieval night, Brea, who It's so shit. I haven't even got the breath to tell you the storyline.

Fair enough.

I don't have the breath or the energy, bro.

Fair enough. It's dead.

Fair enough. And I watched it. I think I watched it on a plane. I think I watched Monkey Man on one flight and was like, That's unreal. And then I thought, You know what? Let me give the Green Knight a chance since Dev's doing so much.

Wow. That's an adaptation of an old thing. I don't know what the fuck it is. It's bullshit.

It's a waste of two hours. But, yeah, anyway, back to Oz. It's hot, it's steamy. Haven't been to the beach. Oh, we did go to the beach.

On the island?

On the island. Oh, yeah, that's what I was going to say.

We went to Rotness Island.

Is What's it called? Rottniss Island.

Rottniss Island, yeah. That bitch is hot. Yeah.

I'm not going to lie.

The flies?

The flies on the island. The flies on Rottniss Island. Considering it's a tourist spot, don't know how to act. They don't move like they've been here before. They've seen man before. Yeah, they're hungry out there, man. When you said, They think I'm shit.

They think I'm shit. Yeah.

That was probably one of the funny things. That was so I was saying the other day after that... Sorry. Right, let me give a full story, right? Obviously, we went to this island. This island is like 40 minutes on the ferry. I haven't been on a ferry since I was a kid.

Same.

40 minutes on the ferry from Perth to this little island thing, but they got these little rat creatures. The quackers.

The little there are croquetings, and we saw a whole two of them.

Then we get there and there's flies galore. Then the plan was to ride around the island on E-bikes. That wasn't that. The E-bikes were sold out. So we got normal bikes and I was like, Yeah, gang, it's whatever.

We need the cardio anyway.

Exercise, whatever. And there's gears on this, John, so it should be fine. Needless to say, 15 minutes in, we'd hit our limit. Yeah, we hit our wholesome limit. The sun took everything from me. Everything. So we went to one beach to cool off. We cooled off, and I think we made it about 35 seconds before we had to hit the second beach to cool off. And that one was, I refused to take my shoes off again.

Because you didn't want to do all that.

Because the amount time it took to get the sand off my feet to put my shoes back on after the first stop off, I was like, Hello, high water. I'm not taking these shoes off again. I'm not going through that again. And I felt vindicated on the first beach as well. Why? Because I'm tired of Megan and Penny being gaslighters. Because they say stuff with such confidence and authority that I'm supposed to believe that it's true. I feel like the dickhead by being like, I don't know. I feel like there's snakes there. I don't know. I feel like there's jellyfish there. Megan was like, There's no jellyfish there. And P was like, What?

Do you see any?

Do you see jellyfish? And I was like, They're translucious. I wouldn't see it anyway. And they were like, Shut up, man. They They galloped in the water. One thing, sprint over, it was like, careful, there's jellies in there. She said, There's stingers. Yeah, there's stingers in there.

She called them stingers? I was vindicated.

I tiptoed out. I was never in. I was never in that fucking water. I was like, Yeah, gang. And then what pissed me off even more is that they're like, Yeah, I don't fucking know, do I? I was like, You just told me with such confidence.

Their optimism is so high. Yeah, it's way high. They live life carefree.

Yeah, 100 %. Their optimism is so high that I'm pretty convinced that if they did get stung by a jellyfish, they'd be Well, if this has happened, then that means it can't happen for us to trip. That was like- That was a one in a million.

Yeah.

Lightning doesn't strike twice. Facts. If I got stung this time, now I might as well just swim in.

Swim in because they're not going to touch me again. All the other jellyfish know I'm taken now. I've been They marked me. They marked me.

They marked their territory. Soulbond. So, yeah, that pissed me off. And then when we were riding the flight, the flies were getting crazy. And they only like this area. The ears and the mouth. That's all they're here for. So that pissed me off as well. And then the thing that made me laugh the most is that when we were on that West end, I looked back at you and your head was down like that. Fira's head was down on the ground, Brandon was like that. He said, Wait, wait. He said, My name... My nape is fucking killing me.

Bro, it was. I couldn't raise my neck anymore. I was tired, brother. I was so tired.

You know what pissed me off and made me laugh about it is, you do this thing that when you learn a word, you have to use it. No one has ever, before the attack of title, no one's ever called out the nape. Fair. I'm I said, My nape's fucking killing me. When I say, I laughed so hard on my bike that my whole body got a goosebumps, and I was shaking. I was trying to pedal to the garage, and I was shaking. Fuck, it took my breath away. I thought it was going to pass out.

I was livid, bro. It was hanging, bro. Witz end. No, witz end, bro. It was mad.

It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. I said, My nape's fucking killing me.

It was murk, bro. It was murk, What a day.

Yeah, what a day. It was a really, really humbling experience, a unique experience. It reminded me of when I went on holiday with my mom. When I was a kid, we went to Italy one time. Fuck, that was funny. She booked all these day trips, and I met all these English kids in our hotel throughout the holiday. Their Their mums weren't making them do any fucking day trips. In hindsight, my mom was the good mom because she took us to Venice, to Florence, and some other places as well. Places that you should see in her life.

I'd say it was boring. Yeah, I can imagine.

And then when I say- As a child as well. Yeah, as a child, bro, Venice stinks. So I arrived and all the gondolas and everything, they stunk. And I was like, Fuck this. And the hotel would prepare like lunch packages for you. And it was like cheese sandwiches. I hate, I don't like cheese like that. It was cheese sandwiches and ready, Started Chris. It was just the worst thing I've ever experienced.

It was like a school trip pack lunch.

Yeah, it was like a really budget school packed lunch. My mom opened the thing and said, Wow. I was like, so obviously McDonald's, isn't it? She was like, nah, we're eating this. We're going to eat what we're given.

We're going to eat what we're given.

Yeah, I paid for the package, so we're going to eat these sandwiches. It was the worst thing. And when I say after about half an hour getting dragged around Florence, I felt exactly how I did on Rotnest. My nape was killing me. I didn't want to look up. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was begging, man, please, please. Please, what time is the coach? And he said the ferry home is at 5: 00.

Bro, I looked at my watch, it was 12: 30.

I was depleted.

I was thinking we got three and a half hours of this.

Can I say something in confidence? When we went to the second beach and I saw these men get back into their bikinis, I swear to God, I swear to God, I was going to say, I'm not going to lie, I'm going to dead. Guys, I'm sorry. You, man, I'm going home. I'm going home. I can't do this anymore. And I didn't want to be a bus kill, but I was like, You, man, I'm going to go. There's nothing anyone could say or do. And I don't even want you guys to get dressed. Do your thing. Yeah, just do your thing. Have fun. But the fuck this. Because I can't say it until five.

I won't make it. I I wouldn't have made it. My water was hot. By the time the island was done with me, my water was hot. Oh my God.

No, bro, I'm never going there again. But it was worth the experience. It was worth the experience. That was the only Australian thing that I felt like I've done.

Yeah, valid.

Very valid. But fuck that place. The hottest place on Earth.

Boiling. And apparently, Megan said it was 10 degrees cooler than Mainland. Really? Yeah.

It felt 20 degrees hotter.

It's because we were cycling all day, bro. Bro. We were done for. Absolutely done for.

Question of the Week?

Question of the Week, man.

All right.

All right, guys, as you know, we do a Question of the Week every week. And this week's Question of the Week is, what What's the worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up?

This was a unique question.

This was a unique question. All right, cool. All right. Sometimes you just got to take a finger in the ass like a champ. Like a champ.

Someone advised her of this. I'm assuming her. A breath. Send this to another breath. Damn.

Like a champ. Like a champ.

I'm pretty convinced that girls of this day and age really do just want to put a finger in there?

Out of just curiosity?

Just to spice it up. Literally. Because they're down, bro. I think we are holding back progression in sex.

Yeah, we are.

The male species are, yeah. Yeah, because you're not doing it.

You can't surprise me like that. Yeah, bro. She's ruined everything.

Yeah, exactly. But I'm thinking about like, I'm pretty sure the Romans were kinkier than us.

Probably valid because they've got like, cutouts of them man doing stuff on It's like a ball's in it. Yeah.

And these times, 2025, don't touch my body. The girl, I'm thinking, what is this?

The Romans can never hear this. Yeah, what is this, bro? The Romans can never hear this.

Yeah, what's going on? That's entry level. It literally- That's an entry And I can't even touch it. Test the water as well. Yeah, now it's pouring. It's not everyday penis, penis, penis.

Sometimes finger, finger, finger.

Yeah, let me finger you. I couldn't hear that.

She just grabbed me by the scrape of my neck. Who finger you?

No, that's scary.

This is the scariest thing I've ever heard.

Yeah, 100 %. Right. Worst piece of advice you received to spice things up. My homegirls told me to randomly pop up at his house because guys like crazy girls. He called the police on me and stayed on the phone with them until I left.

Until I left.

He was petrified. Yeah, she's still here. She's still here.

That's hilarious. That's fucking funny. What's the worst piece of advice you received to spice things up? Look him up and down, then, miaou. He barked. Imagine. No.

Miaou, then he barked. I was going to reenact the miaou. I was like, No, I'm not doing that. I'm just going to move on to my next point. I'm not actually going to do it. That would get clipped. Yeah, 100%. I'm not even above doing it. Right, guys, we're going to take a little break to talk to you about, you guessed it, manscaped. We deserve. So we like you just the way you are. But let's be real, there's always room for a little upgrade, especially in the grooming department. After those New Year's festivals, you might not love everything you see staring back at you in the mirror. Facts. That's where we come in with the beard Beard and Bulls bundle to help you start kicking this year's ass right out of the gate. Say goodbye to that winter beard or just keep it sharp with the beard hedger. Let's leave hibernation mode behind with the Lawn Mower 5. 0 Ultra You don't need all that extra hair down there to stay warm. Guys, you know what to do? Mm-hmm. Quickly, scoot on over to manscaped. Com and join over 11 million men worldwide who trust manscaped, your daddies included.

Did. Just use the code SNG.

Sierra, November, golf.

That's going to give you 20% off plus free shipping. Right. Worst advice you received to spice things up. I heard a friend tell his bird to get a third. She ended up leaving him for him.

Follow on. Get a third person involved. All it did was give me the chance to disappoint two women. Give me the chance, you know.

Yeah, give me the opportunity.

To disappoint two women. It's He's never recovering.

That's actually... Someone said this on a TikTok the other day. I literally saw, I think on TikTok the other day was a guy was ranting. He had a drink in his hand. He was ranting. And he was saying, He had a threesome is the worst thing. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he said like, knotted in two pumps in a threesome.

Literally what's a waste of time.

It's a waste of everyone's diary.

Facts, bro. I have to put this in my calendar.

A threesome, nutting in two pumps. What can you actually do?

You can't bring it back.

I'll cry.

What would you actually do, though?

Is one of them my girl or they're just both independent?

No, one can't be your girl. Because the third one is just looking at your girl like, Is this what you're dealing with?

Yeah. And then obviously, I have to jump in and defend my girl on my behalf. Yeah, exactly.

And you have the goal to bring me in. You must have known this was going to happen.

You're back for who?

Who was this benefit? Was this a test? To see if we get three pumps? Was this a test? Oh, it will piss me off.

Oh, God. It will piss me off. I would assume it's a social experiment. Okay, so they're two independents. Two independents, yeah. And a night in two pumps. Wow. Realistically, I'm seeing it in a hotel room.

Yeah, yeah, rags.

I think I'll go in the toilet and just not come out. I will go When it's-Is it your room? It's my room. If it's not my... I'm leaving. If it's their room, I'm just dipping. If it's my room, now you've said, I think I'll get a new room. I think I'll go down to reception and be like, You know What fucking hell? Give me two minutes. I'm going to go downstairs, get a bottle of champagne, we can run this back. And I'll just go to the stop, Frank, what rooms do you have? And just get into a new room and just put on first dates and pretend like it never happened. Turn my phone off. I'll tell Donny, if two tings come down here, ask him for a man, don't give them any information. Yeah, facts. Yeah, tell him I left. Fair play. That would rock me if he had two pums and a threesome. Wow.

That's destroying.

Soul-destroying. Anyway, go. Right. Worst piece of advice you received to spice things up. Put your thumb in her but I pushed it in and something pushed back.

That's tough, man. That's always been a fear of mine. Not a fear of mine per se, but it's something I... It's like a split second thought, but I don't let it-InInvade. Invade is the word I was looking for. The situation. It will take over. It will take everything from me. Yeah. And it's like, I want this. Do you know what I mean? I actually want this. So it's like, I'm not going to let that thought disturb the situation at hand. I want this. I want this.

Facts, bro. I never let... Yeah, I never let silly James get in my head.

Brother, it's I want this.

It's fucking hilarious.

Worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up. You don't need to wait to heal from childbirth. Just take the pain. Okay, what the fuck is that? That's not advice, brother. That's literally the worst piece of advice.

Yeah, that isn't. That's the opposite of advice. That's sabotage.

That is correct.

That's sabotage. Wow. This one. My roommate was Jamaican, so by default, he didn't eat Pomme. I told him, Bro, you're going to lose your girl. That night, he set out with one mission. He came back, hyped up until we noticed the blood on his hoodie and his pants. He dropped to his knees. Bro, I'm sorry.

He's never going to listen to his boy again.

Yeah, big man. I grew up not eating pom. And you told me I was going to lose the love of my life. Now look at me. Blooded. Yeah, yeah. Ampyric.

Ampyric.

He dropped to his knees. He He got to his knees. Wow. Yeah. That's torment. He came home, hyped.

It's annoying because he does... Obviously, they did it with the lights off. So he doesn't know any difference in the consistency because he's never done it before. Do you see what I'm saying? Flavor profile, anything.

The iron, he doesn't... The hemoglobin was up and he didn't realize. Yeah, bro. There's bear Zinc in there. He just doesn't know. He just think he's a standard pro. All right.

Worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up. Getting matching tattoos because nothing says forever like committing to body art with someone whose last name you're still trying to remember.

Bam.

Still trying to remember. It's crazy.

Tattoo It's for loved ones is so insane.

Yeah, that's... I don't think people still do that anymore. They can't, surely. Yeah? You know someone that knows someone?

I know people that know people, bro.

Fair play. Fair play.

Right. My girl told me role play would fit well into our sex life. She tied me up and blindfolded me. When the blindfolds came off, I saw my girl standing next to my side check.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I would beg for God to give me a heart attack.

Oh, yeah, 100 %.

Oh my... That's a plot twist, isn't it?

Yeah, you would You'd hear me pulling up the thing. My face would be straight and you'd hear me trying to break the cuff.

Oh my God.

I wouldn't know what they're going to do to me. Facts. When I say you would never, ever... My dick would look like a slug that you just put salt on. It would crinkle up.

Because nothing is sexy anymore.

Yeah, bro. Wow. Yeah, it will go into raisin form.

Side Check it. Do you consider blindfolds and handcuffs roleplay?

Yeah. Well, actually, the character is the roleplay. I wouldn't I don't say it's roleplay. It's something different. But in my mind, role play is purely characterisation. So we're playing different characters. I need done blindfolds and hand-tying in a minute.

Same. I think the thing with me is I am lazy. Lazy in a sense that if I'm in a... Especially because you have different moods of sex in terms of how juntaal you are. It's one of them ones where even if I can think about, Oh, yeah, this might be a very good time to try all these things. If I'm very, very horny, I don't have the patience to start, Let me tell you what.

You just want to feel poor.

I want to devour you. You see what I'm saying? That's what there's power of. I get it, but I think between the start of me trying to tie her up, blindfold her, put her in this position, whatever, to actually sex, that bit in between, I'll take a breath. I'm like, What are you doing? I'm trying to fuck. And that's my problem. You see what I'm saying? That's my problem. I hear it, bro. I feel like I need to... I don't know, like I said, I've not done it in ages. More so with the tie-in thing, it's just me and my hands. I'll just grab hands or grab wrists I was, as opposed to finding something to tie and blah, blah, blah. I guess I'm just lazy.

It used to be my back.

I remember you saying you said it before.

I had one time where an ex panicked.

Yes, you did say. Yeah, she was off me.

She was down and then we did it. And as soon as by the end, she was like, 'Oh, get off me. ' I was like, ' Bro, all right. ' I was like, 'I'm not even going to because we can't have this. ' Yeah, this is... Yeah. So I was like, 'All right, cool. ' I'm just never going to do it again. I haven't done it since. Yeah, man. Damn. Yeah. Fuck.

Fucking dead. All right. Me, I've got a couple more. Worst piece of advice you received to spice things up. Cover your tongue with a condon and then lick his ass. The fuck? Exactly. It's literally worst piece of advice. The fuck?

Speaking of Johnies, yeah. Talk to me. Have you ever had a go up at a Johnny on you?

Good question. Yes, yes, yes. I want to say yes.

I haven't.

I feel like I have, but early stage.

Yeah, I haven't. I grew up watching American Pie and Shit, and I just assumed it was standard. Obviously, when I was going through my little Johnny troubles as a teen, I remember thinking, It's going to be all right because girls are going to offer to put it on for money as just foreplay stuff. I'm 33. It's never happened. I'm over it now. By the time, I was like, Damn, this is disappointing. I remember saying it to one girl one time when I was 19. To put it on for me? Yeah, I'll put it on, man. She was like, God, no. Because to her, that's the least sexy thing you can possibly do. I was like,.

The movie has sold you a dream. Bro, they did. God, no.

Oh, God. Yeah, God, no. I'm not putting it on. Yeah, damn.

That'll make me rethink a few things.

Yeah, never mind.

Did you just touch your finger? You did.

You did touch my finger. Worst means of advice you received to spice things up. My ex once said I should stop wearing granny panties. The ones he saw on that particular day were massive. They covered three quarters of my back. But then he changed his mind. He said, Actually, carry on wearing that shit. There's no way you're cheating wearing stuff like that. Oh, fair.

He's not getting some and you're not getting any.

Yeah, bro. If I don't want to bang, at least no one else does. So just carry on.

That's a lose-lose, man. Three quarters of my back. That's insanity.

How big are these draws? Yeah, that's big.

All right, last one from me. Worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up. Fold her. She ended up pulling her ham string and spent the night in hospital. For fuck's sake.

Ah.

Random.

Go on.

This was probably after the Pilates we did on LogCabin.

Logcabin, Patreon. Com for such listening gigs. Come on. £3 a month.

£10 a day. To S&G. It made me realize even more so post-quoitus session that women are troopers. Oh, yeah. Because... Again, the folder reminded me of it, and then it brought my mind to the pilates and then a situation I had, and I was thinking about it afterwards like, I can't do this for 10 strokes, let alone 15 minutes. Do you see what I'm saying?

Oh, bro, my house use will be done. My adductors would tear from the hinges. Yeah, bro. I've done stuff to women's legs. Bro, dad. It's not funny.

They're just naturally more flexible because they are forced into these positions. Do you see what I'm saying?

Bro, I can't... I used to do a test. The test is like, try and put your... So if you were to sit next to a wall and then try and lay flat on the back, put your legs against the wall and get your bum as close to as much as you possibly can and just see what that looks like. Brother, your legs won't be straight. I swear. And that's at 90 degrees, let alone behind your head.

Obtuse angle. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Backwards.

Fuck's sake.

Yeah, it's insane, bro. They're troopers. A hundred %, bro. For pleasure. Because I stay in this no matter what's going on. There might be a perpendicular. Maybe just a cricket. That's the most you're getting from me is one of I'm either here, frontal plane, or I'm like, here. Or I'm like, here. Bro, I'm not doing shit.

Wow.

We don't do anything.

The MVPs, bro. Yeah, bro. That's insanity.

We don't do nothing.

We don't, we I really don't.

Useless. Right, nice one from me. Yeah, yeah. Worst piece of advice you received to spice things up. They told me to grab my woman by the throat and ask her, 'Whose little whore are you? ' Oh, She shoved me off and said, 'Definitely not yours.

Because that sounded, from the jump, that sounded sexy. Of course it does.

Of course it does.

And it's annoying because he's clearly not an alpha to her. In that scenario, it was not an alpha to her because there is a guy that will do that to her and she'll be like, yours.

Yeah, yeah. Yours. I'm your whore. I'm wherever you want me to be. She grabbed him off and said, not yours. Not yours. Get your hands off me.

I'm your man.

Yeah. You're not. Yeah, that's it. You've asked an answer. You're the roommate who covers the bills. Oh my God. Clearly. Because get your hands off me.

The roommate that covers the bills. That should be a line in a movie.

Yeah, bro. Because you're the roommate that covers the bills. Because your roommate that covers the bills. The cinema will gasp. Yeah, 100 %.

I couldn't hear that.

No one can hear that. But it's facts. That is facts. Because get your hands off me. We have a family. Yeah, facts. But get your hands off me.

For fuck's sake.

Yeah, it's horrible. Right. Welcome back in, guys.

Welcome back to the show, guys.

If you were listening a little minute ago, you may have heard us mention a little platform called Patreon. Yes, sir. And that is a nice place where we head over every Thursday, every Saturday to shoot some extra content for you guys. We do. Patreon is a fantastic place where we don't have to abide the copyright laws of YouTube and Spotify. So we do what we want. We literally do what we want over there. I feel it was on there naked the other day. Apparently so, yeah. And then on Saturdays, we have a little show called The Log Habit, where we do stuff like Pilates, we do stuff like sky diving, we learn how to skateboard, we compete against one another for things of ridiculous nature. We cook for one another. We do. And we have a great time. Yeah, man. It's awesome. So yeah, Patreon. Com, fours, our Shits & Gigs, head over there now. Yes, sir. If you are wondering why we're on Australia, we are on tour.

We are.

It's pretty much sold out, I'm not going to lie.

Yeah, sorry, because this comes out in a few weeks.

Yeah, go on the website anyway and see what I want.

See what I want. Just get the merch, maybe.

Yeah, maybe just pull up to the venue and get the merch.

Just get the merch, bro. Yeah, damn. Just to say you were there.

Facts, because you weren't there. We know that, but your friends don't know.

They'll never know.

Because you're wearing the merch. Facts. And you can't get the merch anywhere else at the minute. There you go.

So facts. Pull up to the venue, grab some merch.

You never know. You might just see one of us just walking from-True. Dressing room to toilet. True. You never know.

Hey, Probably.

Probably not.

Shoot your shot, you never know.

Don't do that.

Not literally shoot your shot.

Okay, just shoot your shot by attending. And maybe you'll get visuals of the side of your head. All right, say less. Cool, yeah. So you have a question for me? I do have a question for you.

Has autocorrect, nearly gotten you in a pickle before?

Wow. Probably. I can't think of a specific time, but probably it keeps changing one of my things as well. Fuck the duck pisses me off. Yeah, that's that. Because I'm trying to exhibit frustration.

Yeah, that's universal.

Yeah, Fuck the Duck needs to stop. But now, I can't think of a specific time. It's nearly got me in trouble. Okay.

There's a phrase that I say pretty much every day for nonchalant things, which is okay calm. Yeah, of course. I say it all the time. What my iOS does is every time I say calm, it wants to autopopulate with down at the end of it. So calm down.

Oh, I see. You see what I'm saying?

There was a time, Megan put in our group chat, something along the lines of, let's say, the time for this has changed. Can you meet us downstairs at this time? And I put, okay, calm, and it popped up down. I nearly pressed send, and my heart was racing, brother.

She would have been living.

Okay, calm down. Yeah. The thing is, I know she would have stayed online too long enough for me to edit that and delete the down. Because she will be thinking, who are you talking to? Yeah, who the fuck are you talking to?

Who the duck are you talking to?

I'm not going to Who the duck are you talking to?

Yeah, bro.

Bro, it scares me. Because I say, I checked on my search thing, okay calm is populated on my WhatsApp. It pisses It piss me off, bro.

Yeah, bro. I can imagine.

Okay, calm down. Yeah.

That's a piss. You must be able to change that. I think it's called predictive text. Okay. You can take predictive text off. Okay. Yeah. That's a mess. It jaws me, bro. The one I will do is people who email me are frustrated with my lazze fair replies because Google will write the whole thing for you. Okay. Depending on what they've sent. Okay. Google will give an option, but like, Okay, cool. It says it in a way that I would never, ever speak. The amount of times I've been like, Fuck it.

That one said- That's not how I speak. And there's no signature, nothing, no sign off.

Fucking take that, man. Okay.

Yeah, man. I know exactly I can't believe what you mean. That's jokes. I can't be bothered, bro. That's jokes. Yeah, the okay, calm down one. It pisses me off. I bet you. To no end. Sorry, bro. That was my question for you.

Right. Should we do blind ranking to finish?

Let's do blind ranking to finish.

Right. So I asked Megan earlier to come up with five random Samuel L. Jackson movies, and we can blind rank them.

Are we writing these down on our phone? We're going to write them down on our phone.

Cool. I'm ready yet.

The Incredibles.

Damn. Damn, The Incredibles.

Where's my supersuit? Damn. That's a good start, Megan.

I wasn't expecting that. That's left field. The Incredibles.

Frozone. Fuck.

I might put that I was thinking three because I think that's a safe bet.

It's a staple movie. I've seen it so many times, and you can't really go wrong with that movie. They took what? 10, 11 years to make number two? I was livid about that. Yeah, same. But episode The first movie, sensational. But I'm going to go for a wholesome because we're talking about Samuel L. Jackson. Yeah, we are.

There's stuff in there.

There's stuff. We don't know the five that Megan's picked. So I'm going for a wholesome number three.

I'm going to put number two and be risky with it.

The Incredibles. Don't know if you've seen them.

Polk picture? Everyone I've not seen pop fiction. What the fuck?

Everybody's seen pop fiction.

Put some respect on our names, please.

That's going number two because I know there's a number one out there that isn't pop fiction.

I might put Pulp Fiction number one. I think that might be the best one he's in.

I think my thing is with, don't get me wrong, it's a great movie. There's so many other characters that are really great as well.

Yeah, 100 %.

So it's like, am I basing this ranking? I'm basing this ranking off just Samuel, not the movie.

Oh, really? I'm basing off the movie. Just the movie? Yeah.

I have a feeling mega well, say something that I'll be like, okay, that should be number one. But so far, I'm happy with Incredibles and Pulp Fiction as three and two.

Two and three. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Fair.

Coach Carter. That's a movie.

That's my childhood.

I think I've seen that maybe twice or a long time ago. But I don't think the feelings I got from watching these two or from Coach Carter, don't compare to the feelings I got from these two.

Coach Carter ain't shit in comparison to Pulp Fiction.

Yeah. So I'm going number... Do I go four or do I go five? I feel like five is an insult, but I also feel like I'm going to go my gut. You've done some shit movies, though. Yeah, I'm going to go five.

I'm going to go four. Five is crazy.

Coach Carter. Five is crazy, but we don't know what the other two are. Five is crazy, but I'm going to go with my gut.

Fair.

Star Wars, episode one. Damn.

Star Wars, episode one, The Fantomenus.

Yeah, I just... The past few months, I've been on their balls, pause. That's a good That is a good movie. That is a good movie, but I don't think that's number one for me. But I'm annoyed because I would have put that five over Carter. Process of a limb, I'm going to go four.

I'm going to put it five I'm not happy about it. Star Wars. Right. I'm going to go five.

I feel sick. Before you say the last movie, Pulp Fiction for me, number 2, The Incredibles, number 3, Star Wars, Episode One. No, it will be Episode Four, number 4, and Coach Carter, number 5.

I've done Pulp Fiction, number 1, Incredibles, number 2, Coach Carter, number 4, Star Wars, episode 1, number Five.

So you got three, number three left. I've got number three left. I've got number one left. Oh my God. That's scary. That is scary.

God. Go on. Go on. I knew Django was going to be in there. Literally, when I put it as number one, I was like, The only one that she can say to challenge number one for me is going to be Django.

I think I'm happy with my results. I think I'm very happy with my results. Django Unchained, yeah.

I would-It was a fantastic movie. I think I would only swap Django. I still think Pulp Fission is better. I would swap Django The Incredibles for sure. Okay, that was good. Well played. That was-Incredible.

That did spin me. Yeah, damn.

Good shout.

Well fucking played, Megan. Fuck.

All right, gang.

That was by ranking, guys. Let us know how you did at home.

Right, guys, this is our first Australia recording. Yes, sir. We appreciate you. Always. This is a fun one. It was. And as always, love, love. Gang, gang, gang.