Transcript of 1031. Q&AF Ft. Tim Grover: Avoiding Discomfort, Staying Motivated After Big Wins & Becoming Your Best Self New

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor, now my jewelry box froze.

Fuck up boat, fuck up stove, counted millions in the cold.

Bad bitch, booty swole, got her on bankroll, can't fold. That's a no, headshot, case closed. What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and you are listening to The Show for the Realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today We have Q&A. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJ, how can they submit their questions?

Yeah, guys, you can email your questions in to askandy@andyforseller.com. You can also click the link in the description below and submit them there, or just drop them in the comment section of the Q&A videos on the YouTube.

Now, the questions could be about anything, man, but typically, uh, we like to keep them around how to win. All right. Personal development, how to build your business, how to kick ass. Those are the things we like to talk about here on this show. Um, this is your first time listening, we have shows within the show. All right, today you're going to hear Q&A like we talked about, and then other times you're going to hear CTI. That's Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen, we speculate on what's going on, we talk about it, we talk about, uh, you know, how ridiculous some of this shit is, and then we, uh, we we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times we're going to have Real Talk. Real Talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then other times we're going to have what's called 75 Hard Versus. That's where somebody who's completed the 75 Hard program comes on the show. We talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 Hard program to transform their lives.

If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial Phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And you get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. It is not on YouTube. You can also go to andyforsella.com and there's a book called The Book on Mental Toughness. And you can buy that book. It is not free and it will give you the entire Live Hard program plus a whole bunch of other information on mental toughness. Why it's important, how to use it in your life. And one of the things we do different here in this show is that we don't run ads on the show. All right, we're the biggest show in the world that does not run ads. And the reason we don't run ads is because I don't want to be told what I can and can't say by somebody that's paying me money. So I can guarantee you that anything that I say here is of my own free will, um, which is more than I can say for most of the people out there.

So We ask very simply that you do us a solid. If you like the show, if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new information, it helps you get better, don't be a hoe.

Share the show.

All right, what's up, dude?

Guten Morgen.

Yeah, what's going on? Guten Morgen, huh?

Yes, get some— somebody— Morgan's good.

Yeah, cool. What's going on, bro? Nothing, dude. Yeah, I'm, um, you're looking a little beat over there, dude.

I'm exhausted.

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie.

Yeah, I did the Murph today. You did, dude. I was literally writing up a caption for my IG post.

I—

that is something that I've avoided for 6 fucking years.

Yeah.

And it got done today.

Yeah.

You know, and now are you gonna do it again next year?

Oh yeah, yeah, it's once—

it's a once a year. I mean, listen, we're gonna prep for it, you know, I'm gonna beat my time, you know, my standard, and it will get beat next year.

Well, speaking of the book on mental toughness, We have Mr. Tim Grover here with us who wrote the foreword for the book. I couldn't think of anybody better to write it.

I got some good ones for both of you.

Oh, you got some really, really good ones.

Some really good ones.

Get ahead of yourself.

Yeah.

Let's get back to you looking like you just got your ass beat.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. I beat my own ass.

Yeah. It's better than beating your own meat, huh? I don't know about— I mean, it depends on who you ask on that one.

Nah, dude, it feels good though, man. You know, I'm sore. Feels good.

You're already sore, bro.

I was sore when I had to run the second mile. Like, I was already—

I'm like, all right, you know?

But, but nah, dude, I'm—

You want to explain to the audience what actually you did that they don't know?

What the Murph is?

What the Murph is?

Yeah. So it's a Memorial Day challenge in honor of Michael Murphy, Lieutenant Michael Murphy. You start off with a mile run. Then it's 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, and then 300 air squats, and then another 1-mile run. And you can do it weighted. I think that's like what's recommended. I did a— I think I used wheels, so I think it was like a 20-pound.

Did you do it in that succession or did you do little rotations?

No, I did rotations. I broke it up. So I did my mile first and then I did 20 rounds basically of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups and then 15 air squats. I did 20 of those rounds.

Now, I know you didn't do clean pull-ups.

No, absolutely not. No, I mean, it was assisted.

Scaled it out.

Yeah, just got it out.

Yeah, that's all right. But, you know, I was just curious.

Yeah, listen, dude, that's like— I mean, that's a goal, you know?

Listen, bro, I'm a fellow fat dude. I know what pull-ups are all about. It's like when you're in grade school and they put you up on the pull-up bar and you just hang there.

That's right.

That's right. That's right. Like, that's what it's like. And then you're like, all right, you kind of like And then you get off.

Yeah, no, but the standard has been set.

Then your shirt is off and everybody can see.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, we've all been there, all three of us.

Yeah, it's the worst, bro. Yeah, man.

No, it feels good though, man. I'm, uh, you know, got it done. The standard has been set.

Good.

So good. Feels good though, man. Um, yeah, how you doing? You good?

Yeah, I'm good, man.

Yeah, you look good, man.

Just doing a thing.

I like you with the glasses.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, I do. Well, like, it's just— it's giving something, man.

It's giving. I think that's what the youngsters say.

It's— you guys got to be careful. You talking about beating Meat Night, talking about liking them with the glasses. Where are we going here? I'm getting ready to step out, man.

I'm getting ready. How you doing, man? How you doing, Tim?

What's new with you?

I'm excellent. I'm, you know, I am excellent. I'm sitting here with individuals I truly admire. You know, DJ, we've been on you for a long time, and I come in here and just the results that you have, the transformation has been exceptional, man. I know we pissed you off a lot of times. But you saw the result. And until, like Andrew said, when you made the decision, that's when everything happened. And we're both extremely proud of you. And just keep going.

Yeah. What he's saying is don't get fucking fat again.

Yeah. Again, just keep going. Because listen, that fat— when you go home, that fat person is waiting for you.

Oh, yeah.

He's standing right outside the podcast room right now.

He's in there, right? He sits in there. He or she sits in the car, they go to sleep every single day.

He's just waiting. They're just waiting to whisper in your ear. Yeah.

Chinese buffet.

Yeah.

Pizza. Tapping you on the shoulder.

Yeah, man.

That goes for all of us.

Oh, bro, listen, the only reason I know that is because he's still in there talking to me every day.

Mine hasn't paid rent in so long, but he's been living there.

Yeah.

Yeah, man. No, man, it's awesome. It's a great day to get better today.

It is.

And in honor of having Tim on, I got some really, really good questions for everybody here. So let's make some people better, shall we?

Let's do it.

Guys, Andy, Tim, question number 1. Andy, I'm 24 and I honestly think comfort has become my biggest enemy. Anytime life gets hard, I instantly look for distractions like food or my phone or sleep, anything to avoid discomfort. I know discipline matters, but how do you train yourself to stop running from hard things when your brain is wired to avoid them?

Well, I don't know. How do you get muscles? You lift heavy shit. Okay. Like, how do you, how do you be able to run 20 miles? You start trying to run. All right. You got to understand that your discipline is a skill set. That has to be cultivated and trained in order for it to work. So when you say, well, I know discipline is important. No, discipline is fucking everything. It will decide whether or not you actually become what you want to become or not. It will dictate your physique. It will dictate your income. It will dictate your spouse. It will dictate your family. It will dictate every single thing in your life. The problem isn't that people don't know what to do, it's that they lack the ability to do it. It's the ability to adhere to a plan. And you could get any recipe for anything out of a book and literally read it and make the best possible version of that if you follow the directions. It's not that the plan is not out there, it's that you can't follow the fucking plan. All right? And that's what you have to understand.

And instead of looking at discipline as if it's some sort of mystical force, like all of us did at some point in our life, you have the opportunity as a very young person to figure out that this is a perishable skill set that needs to be trained on a regular basis. So that would be my first thing to say to you is that you have to understand that you have to invest in this, you have to train it, and you have to train it by making the hard decisions that feel very hard for you right now over and over and over again. And as you make those decisions and as you do the thing that is required instead of the thing that makes you more comfortable, you gain strength. That muscle, that discipline muscle begins to develop. It gets stronger, it gets bigger, it gets more capable of making the right decisions. And that's going to require you, with a very weak discipline muscle, to do and make decisions around things that seem to be very hard. But once you develop that muscle and once you develop that ability, the decisions that you're struggling with now become almost automatic down the road.

All right, no different than when you first go into a gym and you start to lift some weights and those weights feel very heavy. You have to continue to lift those little weights and look stupid and feel stupid before you can get to the big weights. And then once you get to the big weights, you go back to lift the little weights and it's very easy.

Mm-hmm.

So these decisions that you're struggling with, while they seem very hard to you, they're only hard because you lack the skillset of discipline that you haven't built yet.

Yeah. Yeah. And you, you described this before too, you know, cause I know we talk about this on CTI, but like, I mean, these young kids now with social media, their phones, like all of these things, they are inundated with it, right? Like it's a trillion dollar industry that's being pumped to them. And you've described discipline before. It was like the pizza or the food is this like inanimate object not having power over you. Yeah, can you dive into that? Because maybe like this—

well, it's very simple. Are you literally going to give up your entire fucking life because something sits in front of you that has no— no, not a single thing in it has control over anything?

Yeah.

And you're going to look at that thing, whether it be alcohol or food or whatever it may be, and you're going to allow this inanimate object to fucking beat you. What is fucking weaker than that? Yeah, that is the weakest shit. When you say it like that, that is the weakest fucking shit. You are literally losing to something that, that has no fucking power. It's like it's not even alive. It's not even a real thing. You're losing to yourself. And that's what you have to understand.

DJ, read the first part of the question again.

I'm 24 and I honestly think comfort has become my biggest enemy.

Okay, keep going.

Anytime life gets hard.

All right, stop right there. 24 and life is hard.

I mean, Uncle Tim's here, baby.

Yeah, bro. That's the truth. I get that. But you don't know what you don't know, right? You don't know that it keeps getting fucking harder.

Right.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm like, what?

Dude, you can't even rent a car yet.

Yeah, yeah.

And literally, look, you have to go— this person has to go back to the way he was brought up, and somewhere down the line you'll know exactly why you are the way you are. And when you recognize that and you're willing to deal with that, this will, this will start to change. Otherwise, you're going to be sitting here, you're going to be asking the same question at 30, 35, 40, 45. You're just going to keep doing the same thing over and over and over again. All right, deal with what made you this way, whether it was your upbringing, whether it's something that, something that happened, or everything was just, everything was just Everything was just handed to you. You never had to work for anything. You're addicted to— you have an addiction you don't want to deal with. It starts and ends with you. And then when you're going to— when Andrew talks about the discipline stuff, everyone, you have to master— everyone tries to discipline themselves in multiple things. Discipline yourself in one thing, master it, then discipline yourself in the other thing. Master it. You know, everybody wants to go from one thing to the other to the other to the other.

And the other thing, listen, dude, you stop making fucking excuses, all right? This is like, you know, it's everybody. Yeah, you know what, the brain is designed for comfort, the brain is designed for relaxation, but everything you want and everything you look at on your phone all day and you say, man, how are they doing? It's not a secret. It's not a secret. He just gave you the— he just gave you the solution in 5 minutes, literally in 5 minutes. And like he said, the recipe is out there. He's looking, he's looking here. You know what? Start the 75 Hard.

That's why we built the program.

It's not a physical program. Start the set, start to say, are you going to fail? Absolutely, you're going to fucking fail. Absolutely, you're going to fail, but you're going to fail at something you actually put some fucking effort into it.

Dude, the thing is with 75 Hard is the, you know, people are like, oh, I got to get to day 50 and start the fuck over. Yeah, that's how fucking life works.

Yes.

Okay. You don't fail and then get to take a fucking vacation and be who you used to be. If you really want to fucking change it, like you really want to change it. And at 24 years old, I— dude, I would be exactly where you are right now. Being exactly where I am right now. I don't have to know shit about you. I would fucking trade places with you in one second because you are aware enough to understand that you lack the discipline. I was not until I was 36 years old. Okay, that's 12 years that I fucked off from the time where you are to the time where I finally figured it out. You have an opportunity right now to figure this out to the point where you could develop this skill set which will allow you to execute in a way that nobody else your age is going to. And by the way, it's not just your age, it's almost everybody. Everybody quits when it gets hard. Everybody seeks comfort when it gets hard. Oh, I deserve this. Everybody lies to themselves about what they've done to deserve these things. Dude, it's all a lie.

It's all bullshit. Do you really want it or do you fucking not want it? If you really want it, do the fucking program, because that will help you understand and consistently invest in this skill set. That's why 75 Hard is not a one-and-done thing, okay? It is a program. The Live Hard program is a program that is done literally every year. You know why it's done every year? The same reason you take a fucking shower every day. Because if you don't practice discipline, you become less disciplined. It is a perishable skill. And if you can learn that at 24 fucking years old, dude, you have no idea the advantage you have over everybody else. Because everybody else is going to do exactly what Tim said. They're going to go to next year. They're going to start with next Monday, right? This is how it goes because I did this. You know what? I need to get in shape. I need to do this. I need to do that. Well, fresh start on Monday. And then by Wednesday, they're already giving in to all this comfort bullshit and they're like, fuck it, I'll fucking start again on Monday fresh.

And because I'm going to start again on Monday, from now until Monday, I'm going to do all of the shit that I know I won't be able to do for the next, you know, however long, because I'm starting Monday, right? And then what that does is that starts to compound and it's just math. You're spending 4 or 5 days of the week trying to do all the stuff you know you're not supposed to do, which then creates a bigger mountain and a bigger mountain and a bigger mountain and a bigger mountain. And eventually that mountain's so big that people look at it and they're like, fuck it, I can't fucking do it. Okay? And this all comes from your inability to overcome the very small decisions on a daily basis which challenge you. And so instead of looking at these things like, oh, they're hard, you need to develop a little bit of fuck you. Okay? And what I mean by that is, oh, that's a test. That's a test. This isn't going to fucking break me. This fucking beer doesn't have any power over me. This fucking pizza doesn't have any power over me.

Fuck that shit. I'm stronger than that. That's what I mean by fuck you. And you are stronger than that. But you have to understand that it's by overcoming these little things in the day to day that allow you to have the discipline to do the big things that create the big outcomes that you're after. And to be real with you, dude, you are in a great spot because you're 20 fucking 4 years old. People will— 99% of people will never fucking figure this out. They'll go their whole lives and they'll say, man, I wonder why that guy's got all these— why is he so disciplined? Why is he so good? How can this guy do this? How can that person do that? I wish I had that. The reason they have that is because they made a conscious decision at some point in time to not let external circumstances dictate the outcome of their fucking life. And you have to make that decision. Am I going to live like everybody else? Am I going to do what everybody else does? Am I going to have what everybody else has? Or am I going to become the best that I can fucking be?

And that's your fucking choice. And there is no other choice, by the way. You don't get to be in the middle. It's either you did or you fucking didn't, and that's it. So I would make the decision right now to come to an understanding that discipline is something that you can build, create, and use to create the life that you want. But you sure as fuck aren't going to create the life that you want if you can't conquer a motherfucking beer.

Yeah.

Okay.

One thing that everybody in this room, every individual that's done something extraordinary— I'm talking about from writing books to poetry to businesses to sport— they all had one thing in common. At some point, they all wanted to quit, and they didn't.

That is it, man.

And they, and, and they, and they didn't. The other thing is, I do give him— I'm assuming it's a, uh, it's a guy. It's a guy, I'm assuming. Okay. The courage, you took the step to write this, to write this out. So now you have recognition. You're recognizing I have an issue. I need to figure this out. Understand, think about discipline. All right? Not being disciplined is a discipline.

That's just like, that's like when people say, oh, the key to success is consistency. Motherfucker, you're consistent. You're just consistent in the wrong things. That's right.

Yeah. So you have the, yeah, don't tell me you're not, you're just disciplined in the wrong things. Wow.

Yeah.

So you are, you're disciplined. You're just disciplined in the wrong, in the wrong things. Not being disciplined is a decision. It's a decision. All right.

Yeah, yeah, dude, this is not this. Look, and I agree with you, man. Like, number one, this— we're talking about greatness here, okay? We're talking about extracting what God has put in you. This is why you have this feeling. The reason you have this feeling of being behind and not being good enough and, you know, not doing— I need to do this and this and this. That's because that was put in you for a fucking reason. And your purpose is to pull that out and share it because it's going to create greatness, not just in you and your life, but in society. And when you think about like where most people are, They think about this in terms of making money, but this isn't just about money, bro. This is about, like Tim said, contribution. It could be art, it could be music, it could be, uh, it could be anything, whatever you want to be great at. And I do give this young man credit, not just for asking the question, but for being aware enough to acknowledge your own shortcomings, because it starts with a really hard look in the mirror. We are our biggest liars.

We will lie to ourselves about fucking everything. And if you will not stand in front of the mirror and take a real, true, honest, unbiased, accountable assessment of your own life, you cannot win. You cannot win. There is going to become a time if you want to create what it is that you want to do, that you're going to have to look at yourself, dude, and you're going to have to realize it's nobody's fault. It's fucking not your parents' fault. It's not your friend's fault. It's not your coach's fault. It's not your boss's fault. It's not your girlfriend. It's not your boyfriend. It's fucking you. It is you. And until you have that conversation, you can't even develop the awareness that this young man has already developed and say, hey, this is where I'm weak. How do I fix this? Okay, so yeah, I give him a ton of credit. And honestly, it excites me of someone being 24 years old and coming to that realization.

Yes, having that recognition. And don't tell us you don't have time, because this generation, you have more time available to you than anything. It's, uh, it's unbelievable. You, you don't know. Talk to somebody who's a little bit older and what we had to do to kind of create this, create this time. That's, that's not an issue, bro.

And, and also, when you're young, dude, you want— this is when you want to develop this skill. Because, and by the way, if you are 40 or you are 50, it's not too late, all right? That's not what I'm saying. But what I am saying is typically when you're younger, you have less obligations, okay? You have— you probably don't have a big mortgage, you probably don't have 4 kids, you probably don't, you know, have all these things. The more of those things that you put onto your life, the harder it is to climb that mountain. It's no different than a Sherpa climbing up Everest, dude. The more shit you put on his back, the harder it is going to be for him. It doesn't matter how good he is.

You should still do it.

Yeah, but it's, it's harder. It's going to be harder.

Yeah.

So, you know, this whole idea that we hear about so often about young people going out and finding themselves, bro, listen, man, there is no fucking finding yourself. That's not a real thing. You make a fucking decision about who you're going to be and what you're going to be and what kind of life you're going to live, and you go out there and you fucking build it. Shit doesn't just fall into you. Nobody just discovered themselves, uh, you know, successful or great or an amazing athlete or a wealthy entrepreneur. That, that's not how the fuck it works, man. And we— you guys have been lied to with this idealistic bullshit about finding yourself. You know what you're gonna find? You're going to find yourself fucking broke. That's the fuck you're going to find at the end of that journey.

I don't know about DJ— I don't know about all right Andy. I know about, you know, your father, my father. You go up to them said wait hold on wait wait wait no!

TJ dad still out there looking for that milk.

Hey listen I gotta— I need some time to find myself. Your dad will look at you: I found you. You're right fucking here. Yeah, right here.

That wasn't even a real conversation.

It wasn't. I, I'm not like, I gotta go. Let me— what are you looking for now?

Taking an honest assessment about what you're into and who you want to be, that's okay, right? You should do that. Like, what do you want to do? And you may not have the right answer, but you probably have a general idea. You probably understand, like, I don't want to be poor. You probably understand that you like certain things, okay? You just kind of have to start going in that direction. And then as you do and you're developing these skill sets of being able to adhere to a plan, aka discipline, grit, fortitude, perseverance, uh, the ability to overcome, endurance, you know, mental resiliency, physical resiliency. As you develop these things, you become skilled at following the path Okay. And then that way, when you start to narrow it down and the path starts to become a little more clear, you have the skills to go down that path and create. And like, dude, this is— it's completely opposite as to the narrative of what's told to these young people, which is try a little bit of this for 3 years, try a little bit of that for 3 years.

Try—

you do it, take a gap year, don't do shit, bro. You gotta understand, motherfucker, there is— you are running out of time. That's a real thing, you know. Oh, I don't like hustle culture because of urgency. Okay, well then fucking don't listen to it and just go live your life. This ain't for everybody. It's not for everybody. Winning and greatness and building shit and becoming who the fuck you're supposed to be, it's rare. Winning is not the expectation for everybody, okay? Building and creating and becoming, that's abnormal. That's not greatness. Is abnormal. It's not a normal thing. Okay, like we have this idea that like everybody's gonna end up in the same spot. That's total bullshit, man. Okay? And if you want to be great at whatever it is that you do, you're gonna have to fucking start now. That's it, man.

Yeah, I fucking love it, dude. I love it, man. Guys, let's get to question number 2. Andy Tim, what keeps you motivated after achieving big goals? I am roughly 2 weeks out from getting the fruits of my labor for the last 14 months. I can smell it. But one of my friends asked me the other day, what's next? And at first I felt a little disrespected because I guess I wanted the acknowledgement of the achievement. But then thinking on it more, I think I understand what he meant. I'm just not sure what to do next. So what keeps you motivated after achieving big goals?

Well, first of all, he hasn't achieved this. He's still 2 weeks away.

Hopefully.

A lot of shit happens in 2 fucking weeks now. All right. You celebrating already? Already? Oh, you celebrating already? You counting the confetti? You're doing all that? What the fuck are you doing? Job's not finished. The hell are you talking about? There's been tons of deals at the last minute, like, yeah, this ain't happening. There could be a shift in the world that something happens. This ain't done yet. What fruits are your labor? 14 months?

You know how you guarantee you get those fruits? You set the bar even higher and go after that right now, and those things will automatically come. Yeah, you'll close that gap immediately.

Exactly. Yeah, listen, if you—

it—

there always has to be a next. There always has to be a next. Always.

Especially for people that have high drive and high ambition. You know, we're told all the time, man, that like it's unhealthy to, to not celebrate in these things. But the problem is It's no different than 75 Hard, dude. When people get done with 75 days and then they literally celebrate with the things that made them dissatisfied with who they were in the fucking first place.

Yeah.

Okay, let me get a 75. You know how you fucking celebrate? You celebrate by saying, okay, cool, now I'm going to do this because now I have the opportunity. I climbed up those first 4 stairs. Now I have the opportunity to go the next 4. That's a fucking celebration. That's worth celebrating. Hey, here's what I created. Now we can take it to this level and this level, this level. That's where the excitement comes from. Okay. So like when you talk about motivation, like what keeps you motivated, it's, it's, it's, it's the idea of constant progression. All right. You're, you got to understand, dude, that most people, we've always heard these stories, right? Like about, oh, you know, the guy went out and built a business and, you know, he got all this money, sold his business, and then he fucking killed himself. Well, he didn't kill himself because he had all the fucking money, bro. That's like what people want to believe. They want to believe that, oh, the dude got some money and the money fucking made him. No, that's not it. What happened was he lost his purpose. He lost his drive.

He lost the next.

That's right.

There was no next.

So instead of raising the bar and realizing who the fuck you are, and this is true for most people, you just don't know it. Most of us, are built for achievement. Most of us are built for winning. We're just brainwashed into thinking that that's not us. Okay? And the reason that these dudes go out and kill themselves and become miserable fucks is because they have not done what we're telling you to do. They cross the finish line miraculously, they get a big check, they get celebrated, you know, it gets recognized and then that becomes the thing, right? Like, oh, I won the fucking, uh, I won the MVP in the homecoming game and when I was in high school. Nobody cares, man. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Oh, I did that. Nobody cares what you did. Nobody cares what you did and they probably don't care about what you're doing either. So the reality is, is you have to learn to set the bar past Like right now you're 80% of the way there, okay? Like let's just say you are. I don't know if you are, you aren't, you say you are, I don't know.

Championship people, people who become fucking great, those people are not looking at that first goal anymore at 80%. They're already fucking, they've set a new one.

The finish line's already moved.

Yeah, and that's the thing, dude, like They're— that's why celebration is such a dangerous thing, man, because it can become— it can become something that lasts way too long. And that's why I have a rule, man. And it's a 24-hour celebration rule. All right. Like when you see the greatest coaches of all time, I'm not talking about players, I'm talking about coaches. Well, some players are like this, too. You could probably vouch for this.

Celebrate hard. Don't celebrate long.

Yeah, that's it, man.

That's it.

And dude, but like, The psychopaths, bro. There is times when Nick Saban has— has Bill Belichick, okay? When Bill Belichick was a great video of that one. Yeah, when, when Nick— these guys literally walk off the fucking field from winning the biggest thing that you could win in that sport, and you know what they're looking at? They're looking at all the shit they fucked up during the game. Hey, we got a lot of work to do. We got to do this. I'm, you know, tonight You know, the guys are gonna go, but we're gonna be back in. Don't do— Nick Saban go back in the office the next day at fucking 4 AM. Yeah, okay, like it's already, it's already done.

He— I remember this, and like you said, it's in a video. They had won the— they had won the national championship, and they were— he was doing the interview, and he goes, what? He goes, what's next? He goes, I'm 6 weeks behind of next season already because the recruiting's already started.

Yeah, because I'm 6—

he goes, I'm 6 weeks behind. He goes, I'm 6 weeks behind. And Coach, aren't you going to celebrate? He goes, I just did. Yeah, I just did. All right. And people are just looking at him like they don't get it.

They can't comprehend it.

Because you know what? Everybody has the same idea of what a celebration is. It's supposed to be this month-long or 2-month thing or a whole offseason with all this partying and all this thing and people filling you up with all this bullshit over and over, over again. And you get sucked into that. And then if you go home and tell us, listen, I'm already— I'm here already, I'm over here. And then they look at you because what you're doing is they feel like you're— they want to celebrate your achievement for doing nothing. So it's not about you, it's about them, how they will celebrate. Yes. Yes. It's how they want to celebrate. It's like they want to celebrate. It's just like, all right, when you go— if you just, you just talked about, you know, alcohol and drinking, all right? If you're a regular consistent drinker, all right, and then one day you go out with your friends, say, I'm not drinking today, what's wrong? Yeah, you know, yeah. And it was like, I'm not, I'm not telling you guys not to drink, drink whatever the fuck you want. Yeah, I just decided— they look at you like you're, you know, and it's, it's a reflection, it's a reflection on them, it's got nothing to do And it goes back to that discipline from asking the first question that you said, holy fuck, he's got the discipline, or she has a discipline to sit here with all of us while we're drinking, we're doing all this stuff, and they're not.

Yeah, man.

I'm like, man, I wish I had that. So instead of saying they wish they had that, they start to attack you. And they're not attacking you, they're attacking themselves. They're attacking what they lack in themselves. Because you have something or develop something, as Andrew would say, that they haven't developed.

Well, dude, think about this too, man. Okay, let's just say hypothetically, let's say Bill Belichick won one Super Bowl. Let's say Nick Saban won one national title. For most people, that's what they hang their hat on for their entire life. And while that is a pinnacle achievement, there will come a time where people stop fucking talking about it. And what we're talking about on this show always is greatness. We're not talking about winning once. We're talking about greatness. And if you want people to care about your greatness, winning one time is not enough for that. You have to cross the line from good to great to iconic. And the way that you get there is by winning so undeniably consistently long that eventually when you do, like Nick Saban now as a commentator, when Nick Saban walks in the motherfucking room, there is no— there— it's not, oh, Nick won this championship and that championship. They just look at him and say, that's the fucking greatest motherfucker ever.

It's fucking Nick Saban.

Okay, that's fucking Nick Saban. And that's the recognition that y'all want from winning once. But it doesn't come from winning once. It comes from a lifetime of winning. And that's what you have to understand. So if you truly want to be— because like, dude, that's a real thing. Okay? Some people, the recognition is very important to them. Some people don't give a shit. Some people just play for the game. That's how I am. I don't give a fuck about who— I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. And it's hard for people to understand that that's real because they, they care. But there is people, one of the 6 human needs is significance. They want the recognition. They want those things. That's a big driver for a lot of people. Well, if that's really a driver for you, you have to understand that what you are seeking will not come from winning one time. It will not come from that. It will come from a lifetime of winning. To the point where, you know, Nick Saban is 70 years old and he's considered— he's— for Nick Saban could disappear and never say another word in public, never, and he's going to be considered one of the greatest that ever did it, period.

Okay, John Wooden, same thing. The guy wins, you know, what was it, 9 out of 11 years in a row he wins a national title. Um, that's the level of winning It takes decades, bro, to create the level of recognition that significance-seeking people are actually looking for from winning once. And that's a big disparity. You have to commit yourself. And the only way to get to that, because, you know, this guy said, oh, well, I was a little bit offended, but I kind of understand what he was trying to say. Well, that tells me that recognition is important to you. Okay.

It's probably also your first win.

Okay. Okay. But dude, But dude, that's where most people fuck it up.

He hasn't gotten his first win yet.

That's right.

That's what I'm trying to— he's looking for recognition and he hasn't even gotten it yet. He hasn't even gotten it yet. Come on back in 2 weeks and show us proof that this actually happened. Don't create something with fucking AI. Show us that this actually happened because there's somebody in this office that's going to call and find out if we can actually verify this thing or not.

I mean, dude, how many times we've seen this in sports, bro? The guy, the guy, uh, he's wide open, he's running in the field, he starts to celebrate and he's throwing the ball, he's got the ball hanging out and some dude whacks it away. That's it. Okay, like that can happen. That, that happens all the fucking time. Okay, in life it happens way more than it does in sports. Especially in business. My recommendation is for you to be real with yourself about what it is you're doing this for and why you're doing it. I'm not here to judge why you're doing it, okay? Certain people do things for impact, certain people do things for their own benefit, certain people do things for recognition. Whatever it is, the ultimate reality of all of that is that a lot of good comes from winning. So we're not here to judge the moral positioning of why you're trying to win. I don't give a fuck. Okay? I know why I want to win and why you want to win might be different. Winning, winning runs the world, bro. Okay? Like winning runs the world. That's the thing that you have to understand.

And for you as someone who is seeking significance and recognition to get the level of recognition that you are seeking, you are going to have to win for a long fucking time.

Yeah.

Okay. A long time. A long time. We're not talking one win. We're not talking two wins. Okay. I had a quote go viral the other day. It's like, like, no, nobody gets lucky for 27 fucking years in a row, bro. Okay. Like, I win, motherfucker. Like, I'm a fucking winner. Like, if you, if you had me as an enemy, you should probably pick a different one. Just quit. Just go pick someone else. Okay? Learn from me. Model me. This, that, the other. You try to compete with me, I'm going to run you the fuck over, dude.

And they want to know, listen, people can look at what he just says as arrogance.

Oh, yeah.

It's confidence. All right? And then, you know what?

It's only arrogance when you haven't proven it.

Right. And here's the thing. You know what? You know what? Winning is a drug dealer for confidence. The more you win, the more confident you are, dude.

And not only that, see, I understand what I'm prepared to do.

Yeah.

Like, I know, like, okay, if I'm going to take a big L, let's just say I take a big fucking L. Let's say all my companies implode and fucking— it doesn't matter because I'm going to fucking go back to where I was with the knowledge that I have and I'm gonna keep going. And so while you may think in your mind that you're beating me today, I can promise you that unless you are fully committed to go your entire life, I'm gonna fucking end up ahead of you. And that's just reality, dude. And that's not for everybody. Not everybody's like that. It's perfectly okay to build something and go through a different season of life and this and that. But like, you have to understand, dude, The fucking psychopaths that get the recognition that you're fucking after, these motherfuckers are wired for one thing, okay? They may not be the best dad, they may not be the best fucking family guy, they may not be the, the, the nicest person. I don't fucking know, it could be all kinds of different things, but that level of recognition comes from a psychopathic commitment to doing whatever the fuck you've got to do.

And yes, You should do it with class. You should do it with a set of moral standards. You should do that the right way. You should treat people good. All of these things matter. But my point is, is that true recognition for being great does not come from one win. And if you're driven by recognition, you should be the kind of person that— you have to be the kind of person that is consistently setting the bar higher and higher and higher.

Let me ask you guys this real quick on this. We were talking about this the other day in the locker room. Is winning relative? Is it relative?

What do you mean?

Like, is it like, you know, a win for me is a win for me? It may not be.

Oh no, dude.

Yeah, you know, we were just talking about this.

Yeah, sometimes like, dude, like, like I forget that sometimes. Yeah, like sometimes like people will tell me their wins and I'm like, the fuck you talking about? Like, that's easy for me. And we have to understand that that probably wasn't easy for me when I first started. So you do lose sight of that sometimes as you go down the path. I'm guilty of that for sure. Like, sometimes I have people tell me things that were a big win to them and I'm like, I have to remind myself like, bro, this is you 20 years ago. This is you fucking 25 years ago. So yes, the wins are relative, and they teach you, like Tim said, the confidence a little bit at a time. What was a win for me fucking 20 years ago is something that now, like, I— it's like I don't even— it like doesn't even—

yeah, it might even be considered a loss at this point.

Well, no, I'm just saying, like, the— look, man, I'm talking about the mental overcoming, okay? Like Like, dude, I just give you an example. Like, like, I used to have no control over my food. None.

None.

Okay. None. Like, when I look at— like, when I say, hey, man, fuck that shit, that's the attitude that I had to develop to get past it. Okay. If I walked by, like, if people invited me to dinner, like, dude, you know me, you've been to dinner with me 4,000 times. I order the same fucking thing. Everywhere I go. Okay? I order clean food. I don't even think about it. I don't look at the rest of the menu. Back when I first started that, I'd open up the menu and then I automatically start justifying, "Oh, I wanted the nachos and I want this. You know what? I'll start tomorrow." And the brain automatically started the lie. Now it doesn't even It's not even a thought. So this is the benefit of developing this discipline muscle that we're talking about. And so, yeah, dude, the first time that I went into a restaurant and I ordered what the fuck I was supposed to order versus what I wanted to, I walked out of that restaurant being like, fuck, dude, I can't believe I did that.

It's a fucking win.

That's a huge win. Yeah, that's a huge win. So sometimes reality, these things that seem like they're not a big deal, are really setting the foundation for you to be able to make the decisions that are a big deal. And so you can't discount someone else's small wins against, you know, your scale of winning. Like I said, and sometimes I forget that, right? Because like, dude, I know what it's like, bro. Like, I know what it's like. I know what it's like and I know what people are capable of. I know who I am. I know how regular I am. I know how not gifted I am. And when I look at someone like, I understand because I'm seeing myself. Yeah, right. So like when people hear me and they're like, man, he's really fucking hard on people and this and that. No, dude, I'm just telling you the truth about yourself because I've been there and I understand. Like, and you could sit there and say, but Andy, No, dude, there's no buts. You are capable. You are far more capable of what you think you are. You just haven't been able to overcome the small little decisions that start to build this up.

And again, this is— I'm not trying to make this a pitch for 75 Hard, but this is why the program exists, because it teaches you how to do these things in 75 fucking days. Okay? And then once you Like, there's no program that's ever been developed or will ever be developed that can create that kind of progress in that short of amount of time mentally. You can't learn that shit any other way. So, you know, what we're talking about here is a few different things. The recognition that this is something that you can build, the understanding of who you are and what honestly motivates you. Okay. Like, what are you actually after? And it can't be what you— it can't be what you think everybody wants you to say. Like, it's got to be the real shit. What do you really want? I know some very successful people that are— they are highly driven by recognition. I think the shit's stupid. I'm like, I like— I— but that's what drives them. And because that drives them, they make the right decisions. And then those right decisions compound, and that creates a life that ultimately inspires people to go after the same thing.

So like, if we're being real, you know, this moral posturing about why— why did you do this? Dude, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What matters is, is that the outcome happens because the outcome is what inspires other people to understand that it's possible, which is ultimately what I believe our duty is as humans. We are writing a story of inspiration with our own existence. And you can preach it, you can talk it, you can go on stage, you can show slides, you can do all this shit. But at the end of the day, none of that shit matters if the outcome's not real. So like, you know, like a lot of people are like, I want to be a professional speaker. Okay, well, you understand that you can talk all that shit you want, bro, but that's a temporary thing that you say, oh, I really want to help people. Well, unless you've created the outcome for them to see in that life of yours that they want, that fucking little blurb that you don't care how good you are at saying it, that's temporary. It's temporary. So you have to be able to understand that, like, dude, we're the artists and we have this canvas and our job is to paint what the fuck we can in a certain amount of time.

And time is running out. So are you going to draw what everybody else drew just because it's easy and it's comfortable? Are you going to be honest with yourself and say, this is what I actually want, this is who I actually want to be? This is the outcome I actually want to create, and this is what drives me to create that outcome. And then understand what's going to do that for you and then be able to go do it.

Yeah, I love it, man.

I think where he gets frustrated, and when you talk about the wins, is you're not frustrated with the win. You want to know what's next. Yeah, that's the frustrate. That's the frustration. Great, you had this, right? I'm— but if you talk about, man, I just got this win and now I'm about to— you'd be like, yeah, yes. It's just when they stop, right? You need to like, okay, you just stop. It's like when people tell you—

it's because I know they're going to go backwards, right? Yeah.

So, you know, it's like people always talk about their hopes and dreams. I was like, dude, I want to hear about your hopes and dreams. I want to hear about your decisions and actions. That's the next comment. That's the next conversation.

Yeah.

You know, my hope— hope is not a strategy. You know, my dream— listen, First of all, for your dream to become a reality, it's got to be a nightmare first. You got to go through the nightmare.

Fuck yeah.

You got to go, you got to go, you got to go through the night nightmare. You know, in the book Winning, I talk about, hey, listen, uh, you know, your, your, your nightmares, they're the ones that come visit you on a regular basis. They're the ones that keep you up late at night. They're the ones that, you know, take away from time for, from, from your family and all this other thing because you have this You have this, you have this vision, you have this nightmare going on in your, in your head. And I said, I got, I got to, I got to figure, I got to figure, figure this, figure this out. And most people, they turn around and put the fucking pillow over their head or take something to like make it go away. And you wake up, you're in this, you're not in the— I won't even say you're in the same position. You're actually in a worse position because that day is now gone and the next day is going to be gone and the next day is going to be gone and the next day is going to be gone.

And like you said, a Monday turns into a Monday and turns into a Monday, and you have— you have what, you have 52 Mondays in a year. All right, that's not a lot. No, man, it's all— it's, it's literally going to be— we're already— this year is already almost half done. Yeah, it's really— it's literally all, all half done. Look at— you look at how old are your brother's kids now?

Uh, 9, oldest 9, 9, yeah, 6, 9, 7.

I remember like, yeah, and you look at people like, what? You look at me like, what happened? That's how quick this goes by. Like, what happened?

Yeah.

All right.

And that's a perspective that you can't have until enough time's passed.

Right.

And so, like, it's very important. I think one of the biggest lies when it comes to winning is that, like, there's a finish line. There's not a fucking finish line, bro. There's things along the way that happen that are great. But the minute you get to the finish line, remember, it doesn't matter. You sold your business, you, you won the trophy, you won the championship, whatever it is, man. The minute that the finish line is crossed and you decide that that's the finish line, you're going to have to deal with a couple different things. One, are you okay with that? Is that— are you, are you good with what you accomplished? Because if you're not, then it's going to eat you forever. Okay.

Ain't gonna be shit you can do about it.

No. Without start, you got to start again. And it's really hard to get started again once you've stopped. All right. If you get to a point and like I said, there's seasons in life, right? There's times where, you know, like I know guys who have built companies and then they've sold them and then they've turned their focus into something else. But that's something else. Is also a new thing to master.

Yes.

Right? Like, I've got a buddy of mine who— well, fuck, MJ does this. The— okay, he retires as the greatest player of all time. Well, now he's figured out, I'm going to compete in fishing. I'm going to compete in NASCAR. Okay? And those— so like, now he's working to do this other thing Right? And if we don't have that next thing, you have to understand that your story is over and you have to be okay with that. That part is closed. And I think a lot of people, they mistakenly think that they're going to get to a number or they're going to get to a— it's usually a number, but a point where that itch is scratched. But if you're truly built for the game, that itch, that itch is never fucking scratched, dude. And the minute you try to fit into the boundary of everybody else just kind of cruising, you're going to self-destruct.

Whether you like them or not. Look at Elon.

Yeah.

Whether you like them or not.

Yeah.

This is not a political thing.

No.

All right. Man doesn't have to do anything ever again.

No.

And he's constantly still going.

Still going.

Keep going.

But you got to know yourself, dude. Like, that's the thing is like, you got to know yourself, man. You know, there's a number of days like this happens to me all the time, man. Like, I go home, I'm like, what the fuck am I doing all this for? Like, especially on the hard days, I'm like, why am I, am I fucking doing— I don't have to fucking do this.

Everybody has doubt. Everybody at some point has, has that, has that doubt.

At all points, at all levels, at all, all levels.

Exactly. That you question yourself, why in the fuck? But you know what, when you question yourself, you You have the fucking answer. Yeah, you have the answer from everything that you've built all the way. You look at, you look at what would it be like if I didn't do it, and what if I looks like if I keep going, and you're like, yeah, this is not even an option. But that conversation is short. But we've all had that conversation on a regular basis, and you— and people think we don't. We don't, we don't have— we have those conversations all the fucking Time.

Dude, and the answer, the answer is it goes like this. Okay, I understand this is frustrating. This is hard. Let's say you did stop. What are you going to do? And if you can't answer that question about what are you going to do, you shouldn't stop because that's where you self-destruct.

Yeah.

You know, I've seen so many entrepreneurs, you know, Fuck athletes too, dude. Like, get to a point where they feel like, okay, I've done what I can do. But again, the recognition that they're after and what they're after or the impact they're after hasn't truly materialized yet. And then they stop, they take a break. And then if you want to start again, it's like just as hard as starting from the beginning.

Yeah.

So you have to like know yourself and you have to know what it is you want if you are going to pivot into that next thing. For a lot of people, you know, the pivoting into that next thing comes too early. Okay. You haven't really won yet. You haven't. You did a couple of things good. Okay. You made a couple of bucks. You did a couple of things. You sell your shit, you get out, whatever. And you think that you're going to go like sit on a beach, bro. And I'm gonna tell you, you're gonna like that for about 3 fucking days. And actually, you're probably gonna like it for about 1 day, because the 2nd day you're gonna be like, oh, okay, what am I gonna do next? You know? And like, and then the 3rd day you're like, I'm not doing anything, this sucks. Like, and you know, this— if you're already in a point, and it doesn't matter what level you're at, dude, if you're already at a point where you're thinking about your life as what can I achieve? What can I do? What can I build? What can I create?

You've got the bug, bro. You're built different than everybody else. Most people, that thought never even goes into their mind. They live like everybody else. They do what everybody else does. They measure their standards of success the same way that everybody else does. And they never real with themselves about what they really want. And because that happens, they end up living a life that at the end of it they're like, well, I didn't do anything. Well, the guy who's unaware— and this is why awareness is a really— it's a plus and a minus sometimes. But when you have the awareness and you don't exercise your capabilities, it will destroy you. When you don't have the awareness and you live in ignorance, and which is fucking okay, that's why the saying exists, ignorance is bliss. Those people can live their whole lives and at the end of it they don't even like question. They say, oh, my life was great.

He lived a great life.

That's right. That's right. But if you're not wired for that, dude, you're going to be the guy at the end of your life saying, fuck, I fucking didn't do anything I wanted to do. So like, you got to really be honest with yourself, man. And if you're already asking the question, that means you got it right, because most people never ask it.

Everything's impossible till somebody does it first.

Yeah, man.

It's real, man.

I love it. Guys, we got one more.

Yeah.

Third and final question, guys. Question number 3. Andy, I had this realization recently that I spend a lot of time talking about the person I want to become, but my daily habits still look a lot like the old version of me. And that gap between who I say I want to be and how I actually live is starting to bother me. Was there a moment for you where you realized you had to completely change your identity and not just your habits?

Yeah, it's what I just said. It's when you become aware of it. Yeah. The minute you become aware that you aren't living and you aren't becoming and you aren't creating who you want to be and what you want to do and you do nothing about it, that is the first day of the rest of your life of a miserable, bitter, unfulfilling, frustrating hell that you will try to escape or convince yourself that you, you know, should be this other way. So like the minute that you become aware of this, you have to go, dude. You have to go because now you could see shit you couldn't see. So for me, you know, there's been a couple different moments. I could tell you the most pivotal moment for me. You know, when I grew up, I always wanted to be successful. I didn't want to depend on anybody. I knew inherently, I felt it my whole life that I was supposed to do something different. I could feel it even when I was a little kid. When I got to be 36 years old, I was already worth, you know, 9 figures. I had built what most people would say, like we talked about earlier, I had won.

You did pretty good.

Okay, right, right. Except I was looking in the mirror and I was 350 pounds and I realized that if I did not change who I was, the best thing that I would have ever achieved in my life was making a few dollars. And I was 36 years old and I started seeing myself, okay, well, where am I going to be at 46? Well, I'm going to be 450 pounds. And then I was like, well, where am I going to be at 50? And I'm like, oh fuck, I'm going to be dead.

Yeah, those people don't last long, right?

So So for me, I realized that, and then I also realized that it wasn't fair to all the people that had helped me, believed in me, who had bet on me with their careers, that this was just about me. And I knew that I had to fix my shit. I knew I had to transform and become the best I could because, dude, I was honest with myself. I knew that I wasn't good. I'm not good enough to compete. I'm not good enough to compete. That's what you guys got to understand. I'm not good enough to compete unless I'm the best that I can be. There's other people that are smarter than me. There's other people that are more gifted than me. There's other people that have better relationships than me. There's all these things. This is— I'm aware of this, okay? But the one thing that I could control is how fucking hard I go and how well I control the things that are within my control. And I am willing to bet that there are very few people on this motherfucking planet that are more in control of those things than I am. And that's when I say like, hey, you might be beating me today, but this is temporary.

You should enjoy it today because eventually I'm going to pass you because I understand who I am now and I understand that I can control all of the controllables in my life. At this point in time without really even thinking about it. And that's what happens when you create tremendous discipline muscle, okay? It gives you a superpower because every single time it gets hard, or even somebody who's conditioned for hard things, there will be a point that fucking breaks them. And I am unbreakable, bro. I'm un-fucking-breakable at this point in my life. So I know—

I'm gonna stop you right there. The key point in what he just said, at this point in this life, because in order to be unbreakable, you have to be broken so many fucking times.

That's right. That's right.

Broken so many times where they cannot break you anymore.

Yeah, dude. And that's just real shit. And there's going to be more hard times that come my way. There's going to be, dude, I could get sick, I could get injured. I'm going to have people close to me that are probably going to fucking die. I understand these things. I understand that that's going to happen, but—

and I'm at that age where people I know, contacts I have in my phone, people I know personally, people I've done business with are starting to pass.

Yeah. And dude, and— but you're a realist about it. Yeah. Okay. Like, you have— if you can build yourself into that, which you can, All of you can. There's nothing that can stop you, dude. Like, there's nothing that can stop someone who has built themselves into somebody that cannot be broken. You can't stop them. You can't stop them. It doesn't matter what storm comes their way. It doesn't matter what tragedy comes their way. It doesn't matter what hardship comes their way. They will continue to wake up and they will do what they can. They will control what they can. And eventually they will overcome. And that should be the goal for every single person listening. You have to become the kind of person that it does not fucking matter what is happening in your life. It doesn't matter. You are still going to keep pushing. You are still going to wake up. And when you become that, that person is unbeatable because everybody else Especially— and this is especially relevant to, to these— like, a lot of times when you're young, you look around. I did this too. You look around and you're like, man, that guy's fucking parents invested in his business, you know.

That guy got lucky here, he had this happen or that happened. You know what the biggest blessing for me has been in my entire life? Nothing came easy. Nothing.

Not having any of that.

Nothing came easy. Okay. And that taught me more than anything else. So if you're out there and you're struggling and you're looking around, you're like, but that guy has this and that, that's temporary because that motherfucker that had that good thing happen to him that you didn't, when that first storm comes in his life, it's going to fucking wreck him. You're learning how to overcome these things now. And when you can become this kind of person, that is mentally prepared to handle whatever the fuck is thrown their way. I'm not saying you're going to do it with a smile. I'm not saying that you're not going to go home and cry. I'm not saying that you're not going to have a breakdown. But when you're done, you're going to get the fuck up and you're going to keep moving. If you can become that kind of person, dude, you can't beat that kind of person. You just can't do it.

Yeah.

So this person here, it goes back to what you, you had said earlier, and I say this all the time too, we lie to ourselves more than anybody else would ever lie.

Yeah.

So when the talk that he's having, he's lit— he's literally, he's literally lying to himself. And when he, when he talks about the self-talk, it's not a self-talk, it's negotiations. He's losing the negotiations with himself every single day, or the most of the time. And we all— and you just have to be like, I'm not, I'm not— no more negotiations, no more negotiations with my, with my, with myself. They're still going to be chirping. Yeah, they're still going to be chirping. They're still going. They're still going to be talking. Said it ain't happening.

See, dude, I give that, I give that person a name. Okay? I identify that voice. I use it for you guys. I call it the bitch voice and the boss voice. If you've read my book and you've listened to the podcast, when it comes to 75 Hard, we talk about the bitch voice and the boss voice. I name that person. I know who that is. That's Fat Andy. Mm-hmm. Okay. Fucking Fat Andy. That's, that's that. Who's fucking talking to me? And when I can name that person, then I can look at that person and be like, fuck you, you fat piece of shit. I'm talking to myself.

Yeah, that's right. That's right.

But when I can, like, name it and I know who's talking to me, it's real easy for me to be like, no, fuck you, dude. Like, I'm not fucking doing that. It's when we don't— when we have trouble identifying this weak person inside of us. Give it a name, dude. Who is it? What's that person's name? Oh, that's Fat DJ. Oh, Fat DJ is telling me to fucking skip my workout. Say fuck you.

That's right.

Okay, Fat DJ, he tried. He tried today. I'm telling you. Yeah, but he didn't.

He fucking did.

And that's what the fuck matters.

Yeah, man.

Okay, give it a name. What is that? Oh, that's weak Susie. Oh, well, fuck you, weak Susie.

That's right.

Oh, that's pussy Peter. You know what I'm saying? Well, fuck you, pussy. Like, whatever you got to do. But like, dude, it's eat— like, you gotta— you gotta learn some fuck you, man.

Yeah, man.

And like, dude, you know, maybe there's another way to do it. That's how I fucking do it, you know? But like, I, I know that that fat Andy is in me. He's fucking in me, dude. And he's whispering all the fucking time.

All right, listen, when you roll out of bed, there's all those— listen, there's everything that's— wait, wait. There's comfort waiting for you. There's negotiations waiting. There's negotiations. There's lazy. There's all— there's victim. There's all that stuff there. They're literally waiting at the bedside for you. And I get up every morning, acknowledge them. Hello, hello, hello. Just fucking keep going.

Yeah, dude. How'd you guys sleep? I slept great. All right. I think it's important to understand that never goes away.

It never goes away.

It's what you feed. It's like that saying, there's, there's the, like, there's the fucking, uh, white wolf and there's the dark wolf, and whichever one you feed more, whatever the fuck the saying goes. But there's truth to that, okay? Like, dude, there is, there is fucking Fat Andy, and then there is Unbreakable Andy. I answer to Unbreakable Andy. I don't answer to fucking Fat Andy anymore. Fat Andy fucking cost me decades of my fucking life. Fat Andy cost me tons of pain and tons of frustration and tons of years that I can't get back. I fucking hate that motherfucker. I fucking hate him. And the minute he starts talking to me, I automatically go to, fuck you, dude. Fuck you.

And Fat Andy's gonna keep talking, keep talking. What do you got, the strong— what do you call the other one?

Unbreakable.

Unbreakable Andy's just, just waiting. Yeah, we doing this or not? Yeah, yeah, I'm not having a conversation with you. You already know. You already, you already know. We doing this or not? All right, and if you're not, I'm still gonna go do this, and then you're gonna feel so— you're gonna feel so guilty because you, because you fucking didn't, and it's gonna hurt you over and over and over again.

You don't win, you don't win them all, bro. No, no, no, no, no. If I'm— if I was sitting here, because this is a, this is a game of averages. Okay. You want to win that. You want Unbreakable Andy to win 99% of the time. There are going to be times where that weak version of you does fucking win. And like you're talking about, Tim, it's going to create so much shame and so much regret that that even creates more fuck you. Like, oh, you fucking got me, motherfucker. That's never happening again, right? Like, and you— that to me has been the biggest difference for me is to be able to become aware of these two versions of myself and learn to obey one and to ignore the other. And it's not simply ignoring it. It's like an anger towards it. It's a fucking— it's a fury towards it. It's, it's people, oh, why are you so intense? Because, dude, I hate that motherfucker because of what it's cost me. Okay. And though, oh, well, you hate yourself. Yeah, that part of myself I do fucking hate. And that's okay because the result of that is so fucking good that it's worth having a little bit of that.

And honestly, I don't think— I think that if you don't have a little bit of that, you're kind of fucked. That's my—

or you're lying to yourself.

Now, listen, I've lived my whole life being me. Okay, now maybe there's other people that don't have that, but I actually think that most of the people that come out and they put on a pretty smile and they act like everything's positive— and you know, you know this too, bro— you get them in fucking private and you get them to tell the truth, they fucking have it too. They just don't fucking show it in the public. They have it. Okay. And I would, I would cultivate that and I would lean into that and I would identify that because then it helps you not just be aware of your bitch voice and your boss voice, but it's an actual person living inside you that is trying to fuck your life up. What would you do to someone who was coming in front of you every day and was trying to get you to do all the wrong shit all the time? You'd be like, dude, get the fuck away from me.

Yeah, fuck off.

Right? Like, that's how I treat that version of myself. And that version of myself has gotten quieter and quieter and quieter and weaker and weaker and weaker as I obey the unbreakable part of myself.

But it's never going away.

No, it doesn't. And if I start to fucking give in to it, you know, one day and then two days and then three days, that weak version of yourself gets much stronger, much quicker than the strong version of yourself. So you got to understand it's not equal playing field. Okay? You give that weak motherfucker a few decisions, all of a sudden, bro, he's got some fucking strength back. He doesn't need a lot. You know, this guy over here, he needs a lot. He needs a lot. The strong guy needs a lot of investment. The weak guy, he only needs 2 or 3 days, bro, to fucking grip your ass right out of it, man. Okay, so it is, bro.

It's like, come on, Andy, man.

I like, dude, you've been—

we've been working for like, bro, we've been on 1 year fucking straight. We take 1 night off, bro.

Come on, man. And you know what? Sometimes I do.

Yeah, but that's your choice.

I must say, that's your—

that's your—

that's your—

it's your choice.

It becomes— it becomes a choice as opposed to, yeah, an order that you're obeying.

Yeah. And even that one day, it is not— it's not over the top. It's just— it's just— I've never been a six-year—

I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen it.

Yeah, it used to be over the top. Oh, you know, it's no longer this. All right. I'm cool. Like you said, a beer or whatever it is, I'm good.

You start to recognize the slippage really quick.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I think, I think one of the biggest things to recognize here is that when you're kind of just starting to identify these things and build them up, it's hard for you to recognize the backwards slips. You're not understanding how fast it can get out of control.

Well, if you look at a place, you look at— the one thing I always marvel every time I come, I come I come here to headquarters is how spotless this place is. Just every single room, every single corner, every— it is spotless. So you see some dirt on the floor, it's easy to identify. It's easy to identify. All right, if you— if your place inside of you, your mindset, whatever, is totally dirty all the time, it's very hard, right, to find what you're looking— what you're looking for. And that's where you see some— it just takes a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. You let one thing— so you left one thing slip here, you let one thing slip here, then another thing slips. It's— there's no negotiations. This is what we do. This is how places are going to be run. I was looking at the sign in your weight room. First day, 30-day suspension. Second you're terminated. That's it.

Yeah, that's it, man.

That's it.

Those are the standards.

So that's it. And there's no negotiations. There's no nothing there. Here, here are the 10 steps. This is what I want you to do. There's no exceptions here. Here it is. And if you don't do it, these are the consequences. If you continue to do it, these are the rewards.

That's it, dude. And also, I think it's important to recognize that the more you obey the boss version of you. Okay? When you talk about changing your identity, all right, that first little victory is not going to change your identity. All right? The identity changes after you've overcome test after test after test after test over a period of time. And then it becomes your identity, which becomes the standard. Okay? And when your standard resets, you are far less likely to move back to who you used to be. So when you say, when did you have to, or did you have to, you know, completely change your identity? I made the decision that I was going to change my identity, but my identity didn't actually change until I had created a track record to where I could be like, all right, I am who the fuck I think I am. With the caveat of understanding that I could very easily be that person that I used to hate very quickly. All right, so yes, you can change who the fuck you are today in your brain, but it's going to be a fragile decision. Okay, what you live in currently, no matter if it's good or bad, was created by a past version of you.

All right? That version of you literally created the outcome that you live in today. And that is why your identity, if you are not doing well, feels like, well, my identity is like losing. All right? When you make that decision and you say, this is enough. Yes, you are technically no longer who the fuck you were. But that hasn't cemented yet. That hasn't become like as permanent as we want it to be. It's never fully permanent, okay? The strongest foundation can still be fucking cracked. But as you go down the path, it becomes stronger and stronger and stronger, and eventually you say something like I just said, where like, I'm fucking unbreakable, dude. I'm fucking unbreakable. I don't give a shit what the fuck happens. And I'm sure there's going to be tests that come my way that are going to challenge that. I know there are, because that's what life is. I've had it happen to me over and over and over again. But I've done enough and I've pushed through enough of those to know who the fuck I really am. Okay? And you have to be able to invest in that identity, not just say, this is who I am.

Okay, that's the biggest difference. But I'm going to tell you something, dude. You're aware of this now. This person is— you're aware of this. If you don't go, the rest of your life is going to fucking suck. The minute that light bulb turns on and you're like, oh man, I'm not living to what I should be. I'm not who I should be. I'm not this. Oh, I like to have this or that. That's awareness creeping into you. And that's a great thing, but it's a terrible thing if you're not willing to fucking lay into it and build something around it, because you will fucking suffer your entire life. And that is very important for you to understand. Once you become aware of what it is you're supposed to be and you do not pursue that, you are at the beginning of however many years you have left on this planet of living hell. For real. And that's a very important thing for you to understand. You don't have a fucking choice, dude. For whatever reason, God shined a light on you and said, this is what you could be. Even if it was a fleeting thought, even if it was something that just like— and there's nothing you can do about it, bro.

You already seen it, so now you can't unsee it.

That's right. You know, that's right.

DJ, how much weight have you lost?

Uh, in total, I'm at, uh, I'm at like 105 right 105.

All right, you lost 105 pounds. You basically lost a person. All right, everything now that the weight is off is better for you to do?

Oh, 100%. Everything, everything.

Well, yeah, everything, everything.

Shopping, fucking nighttime, you know what I'm saying? Everything, everything, everything.

Yeah, bro, it's, it's, it's, it's worth it.

That's all. But it's, it's about some new clothes.

That's about it.

You know what I'm saying? Shit's falling off. But what Tim's saying is like, there's— it's not like there's not a reward here, right?

Right. Like, right.

The progress that you make is the reward. It's not a— it's not a finish line. It's not— it's not a fucking number. It's not a check. It's not a trophy. It's who the fuck you are, bro. That's the reward. The reward is knowing who the fuck you are and being proud of who you are because you have the awareness of what you could become and you chose to become it. That's the fucking reward, man. And eventually, you know what? You're going to make money. You know what's going to happen too? You're going to lose money. Okay? You know what I mean? Like, you're going to go through the ups and downs and this and that. That's not that's not the dictation of your greatness, dude. Your personal greatness comes from your ability to get the fuck up and keep moving. And in the real world, when we talk about competing, that's why it makes you such a formidable competitor. Because while other people stop and celebrate or other people break down when the storm comes, you don't. And when you're that person, you cannot be beat. You cannot be caught people can't make up ground on you.

And once you get ahead, and you will because everybody else will naturally quit or fall off or stop moving, you get so far ahead to where it becomes the ground cannot be made up.

Yeah. You know, people, if you just— if you're just aware of your surroundings and where the people you're around— everybody looks for individuals who are really successful to inspire them and so forth. Sometimes you just need to look at somebody and say, I'm fucking losing to that. Like, seriously, I'm losing to that. You look at it, literally, I'm literally losing. That's what I'm fucking losing to.

I'm losing to a fucking bucket of beers. I'm losing to a pizza. I'm losing to that fucking shitty version of myself that I see in the mirror. I'm losing to that dude?

Yeah.

I'm losing to that? Are you fucking kidding, bro? Come on. We're all better than that. Yes, every single one of you listening, we're all better than that. You just have to look at it the right way, man. And like what you're describing, this is why it resonates so well with like with relentless and winning and everything that you're about, Tim, is because ultimately that's the message. You are losing to your fucking self. No, you're not losing to other people. Are you in a competition with other people? Yeah, probably. If you're in a business, yeah, absolutely. If you're an athlete, absolutely.

You're gonna lose to them too.

Yes, but the reason that you are losing to them is because you're losing to yourself first.

Yep.

And that's the responsibility part, that's the accountability part. And you ask when I changed. I changed when I made my wife take a picture of me and Actually, I could tell you exactly when I changed. I could tell you fucking exactly. I was on a fucking private jet and the dude asked me if I need a seat belt extender.

Oh man.

Yeah, it's— I got so fucking pissed off, dude. Like, I wanted to fucking kill the—

did you need one?

No, I didn't. I was just checking the fact that he thought I did, right? Dude, it made me so angry. And for like 10 minutes— this was at the beginning of the flight, right?

Sure. Yeah, of course.

So for like the first 10 minutes of the fucking flight, I was like, I'm going to fucking choke this motherfucker the next time he walks by.

Yeah.

And, and I— and then, you know, he went up in the cockpit, you know, and it was a private flight. And I'm looking at Emily and I'm like, I can't fucking believe that motherfucker. And I started to get embarrassed about what I was saying. I started to get like, dude, it's not his fault you're fucking fast.

He knew you. He knew.

I knew he was right.

Right.

I knew he was right. And by the time I had landed on that flight, I had made up my mind.

Yeah.

And it was no fucking option.

So we were— I don't know, we were doing— we had to— we had an engagement at some island. I can't remember where. I can't remember where it was.

Wasn't Epstein's.

I was saying, you better be very careful with that, Tim.

Seriously, you got to be careful with that, Tim.

What island, Tim?

No, it was, it was one of the— it was, it was one of the— it was a prop, it was a prop plane. And they were taking everybody's— they asked everybody how much you weigh, and they had everybody step on a scale and so forth because there was a lot of big people.

Yeah.

And they had to distribute. Like, you can't sit— like, if you were traveling with somebody, you can't sit here. You gotta—

oh my God, trying to even out the plane.

They're trying to even— they're trying to even out— they're trying to even out the plane.

Oh man.

And then, and they, they looked at Cher, myself, they said, you know, you guys just Come on, we'll fit you guys in.

I'm sure you were embarrassed as fuck for those other people, though, weren't you?

I'm just like, yeah, but I'm just— the situation's just like, you got to look at some type, man. I'm literally— that's what I'm losing to. There's so many people out. Listen, there's so many people that inspire me every single day not to be like them.

No, man.

Everyone is— you, you know, there's a few people you want to be like, but if you really look at it, he said, there's so many— there's more people that will inspire you. Just look at— I, I don't want that. It's not the life I want. I don't want to look like that. I don't want to feel like that. I don't want to do it. That should be— if that ain't enough, I don't know what the heck— what the hell is. And exactly what you said, you're losing to— you're losing to, you know, a glass of beer. You're losing to a pizza. You're losing to it. You're losing to a hot dog. And there are going to be times that you lose. I talk about this all the time. Fuck it. Every time I go to Costco and I'm checking out, that fucking menu is calling me. Come on over here. $1.50 hot dog.

No, bro, that's pizza. That's good price.

Yeah, good. Great. And sometimes it wins. I'm not gonna lie to you, sometimes it wins. All right, and then, and then I just look at myself. I was like, what the fuck did I just do?

Sometimes when you get really good, what'll happen is you'll take a bite of that first bite of that pizza. You know, fuck no more.

Yeah, yeah.

That happened to me with that, with a beer. Yeah, I was about to have a beer. It was probably 4 or 5 months ago. I was up at Billy G's. I ordered a beer. I took one drink of it and I'm like, now fuck that. I don't want that.

So it's— listen, we're we're no different than anybody else who's listening to this show. We go through the same trials and tribulations. We probably have gone through more.

Well, that's what makes you more powerful.

Yeah. All right.

You should lean into those stories all the time.

Yeah, all the time.

All right, dude. I think the thing that is most powerful, though, when you say, I don't want to be anything like that motherfucker, is when it's a past version of you.

Yeah.

Like, when I look at pictures of myself when I was being fat, like, bro, I know it sounds harsh, I fucking hate that motherfucker. Like, if that were a physical being, I would literally physically fucking murder them.

Why?

You know what I'm saying? But the problem is that person always lives inside of you. You can't— you can't completely kill it.

You can't completely kill it. Yeah.

It's always there.

It's always there.

I think one of the biggest mistakes that people make is they do think that they've conquered that. They think it's already been beat. I'm not that person. No, motherfucker, you are that person still. This is why people who drink alcohol and they get addicted to alcohol, they have to fucking never drink it again. Because the minute they feed that version of themselves, that version gets a lot of its power back. And then The minute they do it 2 or 3 days in a row, that person's back to full strength. Yeah, yeah. And, and dude, that's real. That's real shit, man. You don't have to give that weak version of yourself a whole lot. For some reason, that version gets a lot stronger off a little bit than, than the unbreakable version.

Yeah, that's real, man.

Yeah, bro.

Well, guys, Andy Tim, my man, that's a hell of a way to, I guess, keep people moving throughout. You know, this is a little midweek special here, man.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, this was amazing though, man. Guys, really appreciate it.

We got anything else?

No, that was it.

I got a question for you guys.

Yeah.

All right, this is— and I've been waiting to say, to ask about this. You know, people put up— and this has got nothing to do with the questions— so people have bucket lists, you know, they always do bucket lists. All right, Andy, I think you had a bucket list that you might be the only person that ever had this on the list in the world. And I want to make sure I got this right. Did you two drive a fucking tank to a gas station?

Yep, we did.

Yeah, we did. Yeah, yeah, we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we did.

Who as a kid makes a bucket list and say, I'm gonna own a tank and I'm gonna drive it to the local gas station and fill it up and drive.

I might, I might be— I mean, we might be the only people that ever did that.

Yeah.

I mean, that's like—

yeah, yeah.

I'm like, like, there's certain—

there's certain, like, like, I always think about this. This is like the weirdest thing ever, but like, I think of like sentences that have never been said. Like, you know, like, no one ever said, ever, like— well, fuck, maybe I'm wrong about this now, but like, no one ever said I'm going to take this hatchet and I'm going to cut off my own dick. Like, yeah, but apparently someone caught on.

That has definitely been said before.

But I always think about, like, I always think about weird shit like that. Like, I'm like, okay, has— and I know for like adventure people, like, they're like, has a human being ever stepped on this piece of soil? Right, right. Um, And I think about that in terms of like things that have been said, which like creates like all these wild ass things. Like, like what are sentences that have never been said? Like this combination of words has never come out of somebody's mouth ever. And it's funny because like I never thought about that tank thing, but, you know, that's got to be— I mean, if somebody has done that, it's— I mean, I'm sure they did it in like wars, right? Like they go in the gas station and they fill up their tank. But I don't think anybody just like casually. Yeah.

So the next thing is, next time you and your wife go out to eat, valet it.

Yeah. That's it.

Yeah, listen, they can hit the road.

Yeah, this is like—

I'm like, these two and filled up. I had to watch it again.

I'm like, our next trick, it's going to be an Apache helicopter, right? Like, landed right on the roof.

Yeah, man, I think about weird stuff like that all the time. Like, I just think, like, where? Like, I don't know. You know, I mean, athletes do this, right? All the time. Like, how? Like, look at the 4-minute mile. No one ever ran a 4-minute mile. Now it's like, if you're—

if you want to compete, you have to. Yeah, you're not even in the class anymore. You're like, yeah, it's just— but that's That's what people say, think outside the box. There is no box. Yeah. You just figure, I'm going to— you know what? Let's go do this.

Yeah.

Yeah. Let's go.

And that's why those things are so admirable, right? You look at guys who have ridden their bicycle around the world or done— Greg Anderson right now is doing that row from Washington to Hawaii. And while, you know, other people have done that, I mean, very, very few people have done that. And I— yeah, man, like, it's like something you see in a movie.

Like, people will be stopping.

I could just be like, oh, we got— people stop.

Yeah, people stop. You know, that's the kind where you're drinking something, you see some guy, you got to look at it and see what I just saw. What I just saw.

Do you know what's funny is like normally when I go up there and I'm driving one of the cars, like, people will come over and they'll look at the car and shit. That day we took the tank up there, nobody came around us. Yeah, everybody was like— like, I think they were totally like, what the fuck? You know, that was like one of my most viewed Instagram stories ever.

That was a good one. Yeah, the MRAP gets it too.

Yeah, the MRAP's cool.

Yeah, but hell yeah, man.

But yeah, man, you know, it's, uh, there is no box. You can do whatever you want. You can become whatever you want. You can create whatever you want. But I can tell you this, it isn't going to happen if you keep talking and listening to that bitch voice. Nothing great comes of that. Nothing great. And your only hope— you have two hopes. Okay. One—

Actually, something does come of that. You become a great bitch.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And there's a lot of those. But, you know, if you're listening to this show, you're already kind of fucked. Okay. Because you already have the awareness that you want to be better. You already have the awareness that you want to become more. You already have the awareness that you want to create something and you can't go back. Okay. So there's ignorance and then there's awareness. And once you're aware, unless you pursue it, you're fucked. And that's it.

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor, now my jewelry box froze.

Fuck a boat, fuck a stove, counted millions in the cold.

Bad bitch, booty swole, got her own bankroll, can't fold. That's a no, headshot, case closed.