Transcript of 1025. Andy & DJ CTI: Trump Plans To Suspend Federal Gas Tax, Hantavirus Cruise Ship & Shane Gillis Infuriates Chelsea Handler New

Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze.

Fuck up boat, fuck up stove.

Counted millions in the cold.

Bad bitch, booty swole. Got her own bankroll.

Can't fold. That's a no. Headshot. Case closed.

What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisola. You're listening to the Show for the Realist. Say goodbye— I almost forgot. Say goodbye to the lies and fakeness and delusions of reality.

Okay.

I'm all over.

Yep.

Just fucking start the show, DJ. Jesus, don't be a hoe.

Share the show. All right. Hello, children.

There you go. I've been working all day. Hey, bro, it's been like 3 weeks straight of events every day.

I was about to say it's been a—

Yeah, it's been a stretch.

It's been a stretch.

I'm tired. Forgive me.

I'm tired, Grandpa. Yeah.

My, my 180 IQ is now 160.

Oh, I mean, that's still good, though.

That's the point.

That's all. I see what you did there.

I'm over here calculating.

Fuck it. Yeah, man, what's going on, dog?

Nothing, man.

Yolk Fest back in action.

I'm getting there.

Yeah, bro.

Getting there.

Ribs and dick this summer.

That's it. That's it.

This is—

that's what— that's the theme of the summer, actually.

That's right.

Ribs and dick.

That's right.

Summer '26.

That's it. Plates full.

That sounds a little gay.

Summer '26, ribs and dick.

Ribs and dick. Which comes first?

Yeah, well, nobody said in that order, you know what I'm saying?

I mean, if you ask Bill Cosby, it was something else.

One has to go first. Oh shit, man, dude, no, it was a good day. I woke up, you know, it's been, I think it's been like a week or so since I sent you that picture of me on the scale. Yeah. Right, same weight.

Oh really?

Yeah, and I ain't looked at it since. So we're still, we're maintaining, we're good there. I gotta keep going though, you know?

Well, you're getting to a point now where if you— if you're lifting, which I haven't seen you lifting, you keep telling me you're lifting. I know you're lying.

No, no, no, that's not bullshit.

The other day I asked you if you worked out today and you said yes. And then I went back after I walked away because at the end of the day here's what happened.

Lay it up. No, no, no, I have witnesses. Uh-uh.

Nope. It was last week. At the end of the day I said, 'You trained today.' What day was it? I don't know. I don't remember. But I said, did you train today? And you said, yeah. And then I went back and I replayed the day.

Okay.

And I'm like, no, I was here early today. I was here early and I didn't see DJ in the gym. I didn't leave.

Were you in the gym the whole time?

I was here the whole time. And, but you weren't here the whole time. It's probably because you were doing like training and other things like pistol training. So then I did all the math and I said, there's no way he trained.

Well, you didn't clarify what you were training.

You certainly lied right to my face.

No, no, you didn't clarify the type of training. Yeah, I trained. Yeah, I trained every day, dog.

All right, so now I know I gotta watch out. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta— how do you trust someone with your life when he's gonna lie to your face?

Oh no, no, no, shit, dog. No, I got witnesses. I I have an accountability partner. We work out. We got the Murph prep tomorrow.

Yeah.

Feel free to join us. You know, I'm getting it in. Okay. I'm getting it in.

I'm just saying, last time you fucking got kind of in shape, you got fat again.

No, no, I think this is the furthest I've—

Shaq!

Yeah.

I'm like 1 for 2,000.

Yeah.

Now you understand why I never played basketball.

Listen, I get it, dude. It's not my blood.

That's right.

Oh shit, man. No, man, everything's good though, dude.

Yeah, you better keep going, not get fat again, bro.

Nah, we're keeping it cruising, dog. You know, we're gonna keep moving, bro. I got, I have no choice. I have no choice. You told me you would fire me.

I will.

Yeah, gotta stay with it, dog. Yeah, dude, it's been a minute, guys. I know it's been a minute. We've been working. But you know, one of the last shows we did, talking about the He-Man shit, you remember that?

I do.

Oh yeah, I do. And you remember what you told the people?

I did. Um, I told them that He-Man was the greatest.

That's right.

And that Man of Arms was my favorite.

That's right, that's right. And they came out with the new Hellcat Man.

Hellcat Man. Hellcat Man showed up the next day. That's right, the brand new Hellcat.

But dude, we got really good people to listen to the show, dude. Um, and you, you told them not to send you anything?

Yeah. I'm sure somebody did.

They sent you some stuff.

Fuck.

Yeah, I got— you want to see it?

Oh, you got it?

Yeah, I got— okay, I brought the box in, dog. Yeah. Huh?

I tell you guys not to do this shit, man.

Yeah, let's see what we got here.

Oh, no way!

Yeah, bro, I'm gonna toss it so we stay on camera. There you go.

Skeletor, bro.

Yeah, yeah, bro.

No way.

Oh, that's an OG He-Man, dog.

Toss that bitch over here.

Oh shit, my aim's getting a little worse.

Sorry.

Oh, bro. And you got the Battle Cat. That's right. There we go. Look at those hands.

Fucking Battle Cat, bro. Who the fuck sent this?

Oh, love, Mom, from Sherry. Oh, shut up.

Shut up. No, no, your mom.

Yeah, your mom did.

Let me see that. Oh dude, come on, man.

There you go.

It really does say my mom. Thanks, Mom.

Yeah, there you go, dog.

Oh dude, that's funny. So Mom sent me some He-Man.

There you go, man.

There we go, baby.

Andy loves the He-Man.

Is that really for my mom?

Yeah, no, that's really—

is that someone playing a joke?

No, no, you know how—

you know how I know? Because no one— yeah, I know.

Yep, it's Andrew. Oh yeah, that's right.

Oh dude, that's hilarious.

Yeah, that was sick, man.

Well, thanks, Mom. She watches every show. Um, I'm actually still a good, good little boy. My language might not reflect it all the time, but, uh, that's awesome.

Well, yeah, dog.

Fucking battle cap, bro. Yeah, why is Skeletor so much more jacked than He-Man? He must use First Form.

I was gonna say, must be in the genes.

That's what it is. Fuck yeah, man.

Hell yeah, man. Yeah, I'll take it. Hell yeah, man. Well, guys, you know what day it is, dog. We got to get into it. We got plenty of, uh, topics to cruise. Thank things to talk and peruse about. All right, let's get into it.

Let's go ahead and do it.

I did confirm with her, she actually did send it to her.

Really? Yes.

She's asking, does he like them?

That's so funny.

That would be wild if somebody like played to be your mom, you know what I'm saying? Like, are they—

people done weirder shit. That's—

that's— this is true. Yeah, this is true. Uh, but yeah, man, let's get into it.

Stealing my clothes and putting them on and wearing them and then posting pictures of themselves on the internet. Yeah, yeah, Zeeshan, we had a fucking stalker one time. We had a stalker break into one of my properties, steal my clothes, put them on, take pictures in the mirror, and that's how we ended up fucking catching him.

Yeah, when we—

when I posted on Facebook.

Yeah, and when I put him out of his house, he still had the shit on.

Fucking weird.

Yeah, bro, stop fucking with me. Yeah, man, just, just be with somebody else. Yeah, please, please. Um, but yeah, man, let's get into it, guys. Remember, if you would like to see any of these pictures, headlines, videos, links, go to andyforsella.com. You guys can check them all out there for you. That being said, dude, let's get into it. All right, headline 1, let's kick it off. Uh, gas is high right now. Yeah, it's high.

It is high.

It's high. You know that meme where it's like, you know, don't be high and it shows that like crackhead lady?

Yeah, it's like, yeah, that's how I feel, dog, right now.

It's crazy. Um, but there is a potential plan. Uh, headline reads, Trump plans to suspend federal gas tax as Iran war hammers Americans. Here's how much you will save. Um, and, uh, it's about 18 cents. Per gallon. Yep, yep. So Donald Trump is planning to suspend—

dude, that just shows you how out of touch these people really are.

Give them 18 cents. Yeah, that'll, that'll help.

Fuck.

Yep. He's planning to suspend it. Quote, we're going to take off the gas tax for a period of time, and when gas goes down, we'll let it phase back in, the president told CBS News on Monday. The break— so it's 18.4 cents per gallon of gas 24.4 cents per gallon of diesel, um, would offer modest relief for drivers who have watched prices explode 50% since the war began to a national average of $4.52. Um, if introduced today, the average would drop to $4.34, still far above the $2.98 drivers were paying before the conflict erupted in February 28th. So just in a couple of months, it's literally almost double like that. That's fucking crazy. For what?

For what?

Yeah.

What are we getting out of it? Oh, nothing. Nothing. How about no tax? How about no tax on fucking anything until you motherfuckers can balance the budget? How about not even being eligible for reelection until that happens? How about a whole lot of things that need to change? Okay, this is bullshit, man. And it's almost— I mean, dude, it's not almost. It's insulting that that's like what they do.

That's the fix, right? Yeah. 18 cents, dog.

What happened to drill, baby, drill and do all our own shit and be energy independent and, you know, bring gas down to $1 a gallon and that, that, that, that, that, that. Oh, what happened to that? Oh yeah, well, just like everything else, nothing.

Well, dude, there's still the other piece of this too, man, is the amount of like tax dollars. We still haven't really got that under control, all the fucking fraud, waste, and abuse, right? The, the countless billions of dollars that we're sending overseas. Um, and it's funny because that actually got— that actually came up in an interview. Um, specifically, this was, uh, Benjamin Netanyahu did an interview on 60 Minutes, and they asked him specifically about USAID going to Israel. Did you hear this?

No.

Yeah, let's check his response.

Here's a quote: Do you believe it's time for the state of Israel to re-examine and possibly reset its financial relationship to the United States, meaning what the United States provides to Israel on an annual basis? Absolutely. And I've said this to President Trump, I've said it to our own people. Their jaws dropped, but I said, look— What do you mean? What are you saying? I want to draw down to zero the American financial support, the financial component of the military cooperation that we have, because we receive $3.8 billion a year, and I think that it's time that we wean ourselves from the remaining military support. Can you give me a timetable? I said let's start now and do it over the next decade, over the next 10 years. But I want to start now. I don't want to wait for the next Congress. I want to start now. And, you know, it could go down very fast. Okay, let's think about what he's actually saying. Here's what he's actually saying. We need to expand Israel across the Middle East because we can't produce anything inside of our own borders to actually pay for our own shit.

'And while the United States gives us $3.8 billion, I'm going to make it seem like they only give us $3.8 billion when in reality we get given much more money by our allies in the banking system who rob the American people with exorbitant interest rates and then turn around and donate it to our country. So I'm going to make it sound like we only give them $3.8 But under the guise of predatory capitalism, which is exactly what we live under, we're actually getting far more. And if you actually want us to be able to be financially independent, then you must support our conquering of the Middle East so that we can produce enough things to not have to rely on you, the American taxpayer. So if you don't support the war, Iran and our conquering of the Middle East, then you must want to pay us money, when in reality we don't support any of it. We don't give a fuck because you're not us. And by the way, you hate us. You don't like us. And then you yell at us and make laws against us for saying, hey, they hate us and they don't like us.

That's right. That's right.

So that we can't even say it. Okay, so let's get real about what he's saying. He's trying to position himself in a way that sounds like he's doing the good thing, but in order for him to do the quote-unquote good thing, then we have to support all these other things for the next 10 years. That's right. So like most of the times, again, actually all the time, he's full of shit. So let's be real about what we're talking about here.

Mm-hmm. Now, so that happens. That's cool. Something else interesting going on right now is the talk of the town surrounding Trump specifically that came out. And this has to go back all the way to Butler, to the Butler assassination attempt. Yep. Okay. And this is very interesting. There was a mystery online figure who contacted Trump's shooter right before the shooting. He's finally been unmasked. And his messages raise chilling questions. And they even brought like, dude, this is, this is weird because this is a situation we really still don't know. It's not weird.

I guarantee you it has ties to our own government and all these things. Am I right or wrong?

Not yet. Okay. Listen, it's fucking weird though. All right.

It's weird.

So there's been this shadowy figure online known as Willy Teppis or Tepps. Um, he made contact with wannabe Trump assassin Thomas Crooks. Uh, Crooks, he's a 55-year-old Norwegian neo-Nazi. Uh, his name's Børnleif Hemmerud. Okay. Um, and he actually confirmed exclusively to the Daily Mail. Um, and in a heated message exchange with the Daily Mail, he revealed what he believes was behind Crooks' evil attempt. Hemmerud, who is the Daily Mail's learned, is married with children, lives in Spidenberg, an Oslo suburb. Reached out to Crooks 4 years before the attempt on President Donald Trump's life at an event in Butler, Pennsylvania, after Crooks tagged Tepps in the YouTube comment section of a California gun control-related video. Quote, if a gun and a badge is all that is needed, Hemmerod told Crooks, quote, then authority obviously comes from the barrel of a gun. We have more guns than they do. There is no way we can avoid a war at this point, so you better just get used to the idea. Cook's YouTube went dark shortly thereafter, and he was deemed to have no other social media presence. However, Hammamud continued to freely post inflammatory, violent, often anti-Semitic messages on the Telegram app.

As recent, uh, recently as last week, where he's contributed between 4,000 and 5,000 posts since 2021. He called for drone swarms and assassins and intentions to kill every single leader, politician, media personality, and Jews, end quote. Dubbed the Osama bin Laden of the Nazi underworld, this guy, uh, even singled out Trump in one post saying, thank you, Mr. Trump, those words will be used to hang you. Uh, Hemmerud is a proud member of the neo-Nazi group Nordic Resistance Movement and is reportedly missing two fingers on his right hand, possibly due to his interest in weaponry. All right, now all of this is going on This group called Citizens Commission, they use an online tracking tool to kind of sift through all of the, the posts and stuff that he was saying in 83 different channels on the app, with the first one dating back to May 16th, 2021. And this is what they have to say, quote, what I don't understand is how this guy is still able to keep posting violent stuff if the investigation into Crooks was thorough. Said a spokesman for the group. How was this Teps character missed? Or if they knew about him, why did they omit it in speaking about the investigation?

From everything we can tell, it appears Crooks talked about assassination attempts with a foreign terrorist in the YouTube comment section. Now, you remember the gentleman that, that was killed?

There's a difference between talking about assassination attempts and planning an assassination. Those are two different things. Okay.

Well, I mean, and the other piece of this too that I look at, it's like, you know, there's been some very consistent things, right? Like when with all of these shooters with the weird manifestos, they all typically are left-leaning, right? This guy Crooks was the same. There's always some type of rub. There's some type of contact that's made between that individual and some mysterious online person, right? That's kind of like, you know, pushing them almost, if you will, right? Kind of like feet, like, you know, trying to show them down this path to where ultimately is their decision, their actions, that they act on this information. But there's somebody kind of like just, just giving a little nudge, right? Um, that's kind of what I picked up from this. Now, uh, Campitore, the firefighter that was killed, uh, in that assassination attempt, right? His wife Helen Um, she made it clear that she does not believe the official account either. She says, quote, if you think that kid just got out of bed and went and shot the president and shot my husband, you're batshit crazy, she told the Daily Mail Monday. Uh, Capitore said she believes that two people high up at the federal level who were there during the Biden administration and are still in their positions are responsible in some way for the assassination attempt.

She continues saying, I will find out what happened to him and I will continue focusing on this until the day I die.

Good for her. I agree with her. I don't know the specifics. I don't agree with the specifics because I don't know them.

Sure.

But I agree that, uh, it wasn't just some dork.

Yeah.

With a rifle and, uh, he was somehow you know, MK-Ultra'd or convinced or, you know, manipulated or brainwashed or whatever you want to call it into doing this thing.

Right, right. Well, I mean, and then even just the backend logistics, you know what I'm saying? Like the serious failures, like how did he get up on the roof? How was he on the roof?

Yeah. Listen, man, there's more than one person involved in this no matter which way you slice it.

Yeah.

And there was more than one person involved on the scene. No matter which way you slice it.

No.

Okay. They get these people to do these things by straight up lying to them, by the way. They say, oh, if you do this, you'll be a hero and we'll protect you. And, you know, there's other things in it. You're doing it to save humanity. You won't be attacked. Right. And then, you know, they get their brains blown out.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, serves two purposes. One, It shows that they got him, so there's no quote-unquote investigation. And two, it makes that, you know, it ties up any loose ends.

Yeah, you know. Yeah, but I mean, to the group that pointed this out too, it's like it does raise some questions, right? Like, if there was a legitimate contact, why wasn't that mentioned anywhere?

I mean, Tepez is not wrong. I mean, what he says is the gun and the badge is all you needed. Then authority comes from the barrel of a gun. I mean, If you have to use the threat of violence to get people to do things, then that's not freedom. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? All authority is derived from some sort of threat of violence. We're just used to living under it.

So yeah, now there's been other things too happening in the news that has not been covered, bro. Did you see that, uh, Vice President J.D. Vance, his motorcade was shot at.

You know, someone told me that, but I never saw that.

Yeah, well, that's—

I didn't see anything on the internet about it either.

And that's weird.

Well, dude, but do we know that's actually real?

No, no, for sure. The dude that shot him, he also shot a civilian. He's in a coma now because Secret Service returned fire. It has not been covered by any major news, like, article source like that at all. But it's a legit situation that happened.

How do you know?

I mean, we got people. Yeah, it's a real thing, right? Um, yeah, and then like, I mean, even trying to pull today, right? But JD Vance, murder case shot.

Is there any articles about this at all?

Very few. Washington Post did cover it. Here's the— here you go. They want us to donate. Yeah, here we go. Yeah, he's from Texas. Yeah, Texas man charged in DC shooting was walking—

This is the road to the NBA Finals.

Texas man charged in DC shooting was walking along the path of Vance's motorcade, agent says. Yeah, the man accused of firing a gun at law enforcement officers near the Washington Monument this week was walking along the path of Vice President JD Vance's motorcade before the shooting and made a vulgar remark about the White House after the confrontation. According to the court filing Wednesday, Michael Marks, 45, of Midland, Texas, was shot multiple times during Monday's confrontation and was shot in the back, uh, and was in the back of an ambulance on his way to a hospital when he said, fuck the White House and kill me, kill me, kill me, end quote. Hmm. Yeah, but nobody's been fucking covering. I mean, there's video of it and everything, dude. There's video and everything.

Um, and he has, uh, you know, they might not be covering it because they don't want to encourage more of that.

Or it was actually real. That's at least what the conspiracy theorists are saying.

What do you mean real?

Like, it was a real situation that happened, so no coverage. But when fake scenarios, controlled scenarios happen, they cover those.

Oh, you're saying like this is a real vigilante?

This was a real—

like we talked about last week, which I predicted is going to start happening.

That's right.

All you have to do is look back in history. We are at a point in time, no different than what happened in 1930s Germany, where people are suffering so much and there's been so little accountability and moral degradation has been so overdone to where people feel like they have nothing to lose. And when that starts happening, vigilante starts to happen, and then you get one, then you get two, then you get four, then you get eight, then you have a fucking problem. Yeah, right. So it makes sense to me why they wouldn't put this out there if it was a real situation. Is that him?

No, no, that's the firefighter. Okay. Yeah, that's his wife Helen.

Yeah, that's such bullshit, dude.

It's, it's insane, dude. And like, I like the part too that I don't like is just simply like the lack of information around these scenarios. And they get mad when people question the official narratives, but it's like you're not releasing anything on it, you know what I'm saying?

The Butler shit, the fucking Mar-a-Lago shooting, like the lack of information about the Butler shooting is— it should raise red flags for every single person. I mean, real talk.

Yeah.

Like even, you know, like I know that in the conspiracy world or whatever you want to call it, the truth world, You know, most people understand that there was something bigger going on there, but in the normie world, they still take it for face value. Right, right. And clearly it wasn't exactly what they've presented it to be. No different than the Charlie Kirk situation, no different than JFK, no different than any of these things. And I'll tell you what, man, I'm just tired of being lied to. I mean, if you think about the situation that we're in, And you think about that. We literally pay more in taxes than we get to keep when you do all the math.

Mm-hmm.

And then you think about how much they lie to us and how much they manipulate us and how much they gaslight us into believing that we're free while they go ahead and make anti-speech laws so you can't criticize people that are doing nefarious things. Right. Like, it just gets me madder and madder and madder when you really like think about what is actually happening here. I mean, when you walk down to the gas station, you see dudes in their, uh, construction vests coming off of work, you know, they're covered in dirt because they work their asses off all day and they're counting change out to buy a fucking sandwich. That's not right, man.

No.

And it disgusts me as an American that these people who are, you know, worth hundreds of millions and billions of dollars are willing to squeeze people that fucking hard. Forget at all. Okay. Like, it shouldn't be at all. This is supposed to be land of the free. That's what this country was founded upon. It's supposed to be very little government interfering, very little in everyday life. And it has become the opposite of that. And we are the worker bees of the world. We are the only people in the world who are told they're free, who get told that we live in the best country in the world, get told all of these things, and then get told to go work hard and this and that. And they're all virtues, which I believe those are strong virtues. They're biblical virtues. But then to have the fruits of our labor, ripped from us and confiscated by what is really just a modern-day royal system, just like has been happening, you know, for thousands of years. And this is why empires fall. And this is why there's revolutions, because eventually the people get tired of it. They do the math and they realize there are far more of us than there are of them.

And the fear is what keeps us from realizing that, right? Like, like everybody, like the tax thing, for example, if everybody just stopped paying taxes, a lot of this would solve itself. But the truth of the matter is everybody's afraid to stop paying taxes. But the truth is they don't have the manpower to do fucking anything about it. Yeah, they can't do anything about it. It takes them 3 or 4 years to figure out if you, the citizen, doesn't pay your tax. So what if, you know, 200 million people decided, I'm not doing it?

What are they going to do?

They can't— nothing. They can't do anything.

Yeah.

So they don't have the power to do it. Their power is largely based on intimidation and fear.

Mm-hmm.

All right. And in order for us to get our country back, we're going to have to come to the realization that that is what their power is based upon. It's based upon fear. It's based upon intimidation. And we no longer live in the country that we have been brought up to believe that we live in. That is just a matter of fact. Now, when we say this is the greatest country in the world, I think we have the greatest people in the world. I think we have the greatest intentions of the world. I think the American spirit is the best in the world. But take all of that away and say we live in the greatest country in the world. By what metric are we defining that? Because by all measurable metrics, that is not currently true.

It hasn't been for a minute.

That's right. For a long time. And the reason that people don't realize it is because they're kept in such a place of poverty, they can't even afford to go anywhere else.

Yeah.

You know, you go to Japan, dude, like you go to Japan, they've protected their culture. Okay. Japanese culture has been Japanese culture for thousands of years. They don't allow it to be diluted. It's a high-trust society. You can leave your bike out, you can leave your, uh, keys to your car in your car, you can walk around and do whatever you want and nobody does anything. People understand standards. People understand that we are the collective of Japanese people and this is how we operate. And America culture has been intentionally diluted to such a point where we have— yes, we have people that operate as if we're supposed to as Americans, but then we have a whole bunch of other people that don't do shit that these people who are doing the right thing have to fund. Okay. And it's a mess, man. And unfortunately, you know, or fortunately, however you want to look at it, we're living in a situation where there is going to be a turn. And what the turn is, is what we decide it to be. And that's the thing that the people have to understand. This is going to go one of two ways.

This is going to go the way of we get our country back, we remove all of these ridiculous taxes and this ridiculous oppression financially that we have in the country and restore American standards and American culture, or we're going to become the shithole of the world. Those are the two things that are going to happen here, and it's up to the American people to decide. They are going to have to wake up. They're going to have to become aware. They're going to have to stop fighting over stupid things that we are intentionally propagated to fight over, like, you know, identity politics, you know, black, white, gay, straight, all these things that really, and out here in the real world, aren't even things that we like have in our face. On a regular basis. Um, but what we do have in our face on a regular basis is the unaffordability of basic needs for a lot of people. Um, the lack of opportunity to get out of these holes because the system is rigged against them. And, uh, you know, it's interesting how people will fight over things that they never have to deal with in real life, or very rarely have to deal with in real life, but they won't address the things that affect them on a daily basis.

They'll just let those things slide.

You know, save the sea turtles.

Yeah, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't make sense. And I think that comes from a position of, you know, people feel powerless. But dude, that's not the case. That's a big lie. Okay, they intentionally make us feel powerless so that we won't question, won't ask, won't challenge the status quo of them, the elite, the very rich, milking the regular American people into a place of financial hardship so much so to the point where they don't have the ability to worry about the system being fixed because they're too worried about figuring out how to survive.

Yeah. And, uh, yeah, bro, what you say too, dude, it's like it's much easier to fight a faceless enemy, a faceless, nameless enemy, than it is to confront a real— yeah, a real threat, real enemy. It's much more easy to do that, bro. So yeah, let's fight the system.

It's just low IQ shit. And like people, you know, like this, this, like, look at the internet, dude, and look at all these people. Like, look at the current argument, okay? That guy's a fed. No, that guy's a fed. No, that guy's a fed. Let me tell you something, we're all fucking feds because we're all employees of the government because they steal way more of our fucking dollars than we get to keep. That makes us employees of them. So if you want to be real about it, y'all are fucking feds. Every single fucking one of you. You just don't fucking get it.

That's right.

Okay, so like, why don't we stop arguing about all of these things and figure out that we're all on the same team and those motherfuckers ain't? The day that happens is when things start to get better. But people would rather get clicks and likes and shares because a lot of these quote-unquote talking heads have had the funds that used to go to the media now funneled to them. And this is their only way they've ever made any sort of financial gain in their life. They weren't successful before this. They didn't have money before this. They weren't famous before this, but now they are. So they find every single thing to fight about they possibly can. And that division and that, uh, constant antagonization amongst the people of each other is what's costing— it's costing us our country. It's costing us everything. Okay, so like, before you go out there and say, that guy's a fed, that guy's a fed, well, you're a fed too, fucker. You just don't know it.

That's right.

You haven't put it together yet. You pay more in tax to them than you get to keep. Oh, I only pay 30%. No, the fuck you don't.

You aren't—

you're not adding in all the other tax. You're not adding in the tax you pay on food. You're not adding in the tax you pay on gas. You're not adding in the tax you pay to own property. How can you be free if you don't even own your property? How can you be free if you can buy a house and then if you don't pay your property tax, they can take it back? That's not fucking freedom. You don't own shit.

It's all a lie.

So.

But here's $0.18 off.

Yeah, like, dude, it's just, bro, it's, it's, you know, it's low. It's just low IQ. It's low IQ, selfish, self-serving nonsense. Yeah, that's what it is, you know, like, yeah, man.

Yeah, guys, tell us what you guys think, man, down in the comments. Let us know, man.

Oh, he's a fed. Yeah, so are you.

That's right. So are you.

You may not have an official title, but you're an employee of the government when you, when you, when you, uh, you know what I'm saying? They own you. They own you.

Yeah, man, dude, that, that, that division shit that, hey, bro, it's annoying. It's so annoying. There's bigger fish to fry, guys. Yeah, let's keep cruising though, man. This is, uh, got more. We got more. Yeah, yeah, headline 2. Let's dive into it now.

I know that guy's bought and paid for. Yeah, so are you. That's right, so are you. You don't fuck— you're not, you're not getting it, dude. They own you. They own you. They fucking own you. You just haven't realized it.

Yeah. Um, gotta do an update, uh, since last time we talked, dude. I'm not liking what I'm seeing with COVID 2.0. I'm not. And there's some real— like, bro, this might be some tinfoil hat time, okay? Because there's a lot of interesting shit happening in this. Let's dive into it though. Uh, so they started debarking disembarking the cruise ship, right? They landed in Spain. They started, you know, passing them out, which is interesting. Like, full stop right there, bro. There's some shit that's already contained. How about we just keep that shit there for a minute? You know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, that's logical, isn't it? No, let's spread them out throughout the world, right?

What has anything that they've done over the last 6 years been based in any sort of logic? Any logic.

Yeah, bro. Oh, listen, I get it, dude. Um, but yeah, so they started letting these fuckers off the ship. Um, they started disembarking on Sunday and, um, CNN had a fucking—

oh shit, CNN had a case tracker on the other day.

Oh really, bro? That's what I'm— dude, that's what I'm saying, dude. I know, like, bro, dude, fuck. Um, yeah, so start— let's start letting these fuckers off, off the fucking, uh, ship, right? And, um, to your surprise, anybody's surprise, there's U.S., there's French evacuees. They've already tested positive, okay? Um, and, uh, they're already here. They're already here. There's a video here. Um, two of those patients, they're now in Atlanta, um, at Emory Hospital. Now I want you guys to watch this clip. If you guys are listening to audio, pause it, come over to fucking YouTube, come check this clip out.

That looks exactly like the shit they were playing at the beginning of COVID Oh man, exactly, dude.

Yeah, let's watch this, guys. Now, no, there's no audio here, but you're watching this, okay? This was taken today when this show's being recorded, okay? These patients coming in, everybody's in hazmat suits except for that one guy. That's kind of weird. But yeah, let me get in the full hazmat suit.

He's got his mask on.

Got the mask.

He's got that N95 on, he's good.

Social distancing. Yeah. Right? Okay, now I tried to scrub the internet today, Andy. 'Cause we had just talked about it. All those videos and shit from 2020, dude. Like you can't, it's hard to find any of 'em. Yeah. I had to use the Wayback Machine. Yeah, to fucking pull this clip that I'm about to show you here. This was just, just to remind people, this is what it looked like in 2020, not very long ago. Shit like this. Okay, this was out of China. People passing out, they got the bubble suits on, the fucking roadblocks they would do, people laying in the street. Dude, it was everybody. It was everywhere, dude. Look at that.

They're showing people like laying dead in the street. How many times during COVID did you come across someone just laying dead in the street from COVID Often not from COVID from like fentanyl or something.

No. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? There's a difference. Not same same. Eerily similar. Yeah, eerily similar.

What did I tell you guys was likely going to happen too? Well, let me remind you. What I said was, is that eventually, because of the way that COVID went down, the nefarious play would be to release something that actually does kill people so that everybody would ignore it and then actually get sick, and then they could blame the people who were criticizing it and who— deniers, the COVID deniers— they could, they could blame them and hold them accountable for the quote-unquote misinformation. It's what they tried to do during COVID too.

So now, an interesting update, right? You remember this dude? We covered him. You remember that? We played this video. He's crying, right? This guy. Yeah. I want to show you. So this, this— he was allegedly one of the guys on the cruise ship.

He's probably some fucking actor from a shampoo commercial or some shit.

Shampoo, you know I'm saying?

I guess what's gonna happen, we're gonna find out. Yeah, this dude is like— there's something—

it's 10 times worse.

Oh really?

Oh bro, it's 10 times fucking worse, dude. Okay, so this video, right, we played on the show last week. Okay, uh, but being the internet, nothing gets deleted. This video, this next clip is from 2021, same guy. Let's check this out. Damn near the same shirt. He must like green. Check this clip out. Let's get vaccinated. Gorgeous vaccinated girls, get boosted.

And gorgeous boosted girls, get boosted again if you're eligible. Okay. Yeah.

All right. So this is Jake Rosmarin. Okay. Jake Rosmarin.

All right.

From Boston. Right. Um, did a little digging. This is on his LinkedIn page. He spent a little stint at the Jerusalem Center for Public Affairs. Okay. Where he performed standard research collection analysis using a variety of online databases, assisted in videography. Recording and editing of interviews with political analysts, and responsible for posting and monitoring web articles written by field experts. Um, he's a student photographer, um, and he likes the theaters. Now the rabbit hole gets a little crazier, right? Because this is— again, I'm pulling this stuff up online, I'm trying to verify it myself, right? Did you know that the Hebrew slang for Hanta means, uh, nonsense? A lie, a scam, a hoax, or something totally fake?

Uh, I did not.

Isn't that fucking weird? Now they've already put, they've already started putting fucking, you know, the Snopes fucking fact checks and shit on there. And yes, it does mean that. However, this should not be confused with the Hantavirus, which comes from the Hantong Valley in Korea. Is so they're saying. Now I know you're big on accountability, seeking it, wanting it, right? And it's so interesting because again, we talked last show about this, right? Somebody's listening, Andy. Somebody's listening. Headline reads, Senator Rand Paul, a whistleblower's revelation about the COVID cover-up is coming as the American people want Fauci behind bars.

No, we don't want him behind bars. We want him in a wood chipper.

That's right, that's right, that's right. Yeah, Rand Paul, dog, he's—

I don't think wood chipper is good enough for Fauci.

Not suffice.

I think we're talking full Braveheart.

I say do what he did to the beagles.

Yeah, put his head in a little thing and let the fucking flesh-eating ants eat him. Give him, give him real COVID and put up, put, put a, uh, put it like one of those, uh, cameras on them just to watch for, you know, it can just take a few weeks or whatever. Keep them alive, you know, put an IV on them, you know what I'm saying? Feed them through a tube, give them some adrenaline every now and then. Yeah, like, uh, like, uh, that movie with Gerard Butler where where he, uh, catches that, that guy that, that killed his family.

He's hard and shit.

Yeah, a law-abiding citizen.

Yep.

Right. Yeah, he puts a— he puts IV and gives him adrenaline and makes sure that he stays alive as long as possible. That's, that's what that man deserves.

Yeah. Well, it may be coming sooner than you— sooner than we think. All right, now Rand Paul, I, I like Rand Paul. He's cool, right? He's, you know, typically true to his word. I haven't seen a whole lot. I'm sure there's stuff out there I have not seen yet, but what I've seen shows me he's a pretty good dude. Um, and he's intensifying efforts to hold Dr. Anthony Fauci accountable for alleged lies to Congress regarding gain-of-function research. Now, of course, this is just the surface. Um, now the deadline for the statute of limitations on Fauci's criminal referral is today. Although the Trump Justice Department, led by former Attorney General Pam Bondi or Acting Attorney General Todd Blanch has not issued any public comments regarding potential charges. Rand Paul is committed to maintain the pressure on the COVID cover-up. He has scheduled a Senate hearing for Wednesday, this Wednesday, May 13th at 10 AM. He posted this out. I mean, this comes shortly after, or shortly before I should say, David Morens, Dr. Fauci's top advisor, he was indicted. Um, but Fauci still walks free. Um, and yeah, uh, an important indictment was announced against David Morens, a former top Fauci official, for allegedly hiding COVID-related records using a private email account.

So he's been indicted, he's good, but Fauci's still out there. Um, now Rand Paul has submitted a few, uh, tweets.

There's no— there's no statute of limitations on crimes against humanity.

There's not, there's not. Um, but Rand Paul tweeted this out. He says, next week I'm holding a hearing with a whistleblower who would testify publicly about the COVID cover-up. Mark your calendars, Wednesday, May 13th at 10 AM. The truth is coming. Um, in a subsequent tweet, uh, tweet, he posted this out. Um, this was in response to James Wood saying, this is a do-nothing Congress. They won't do anything except their— except line their own pockets. It's exhausting and beyond disappointing. But you know that Fauci will walk free, smug little prick that he is. To which Rand Paul replied, while we can all have our beefs with Congress, this isn't in our hands any longer. I did the work, investigated, and sent multiple criminal referrals to the DOJ. Whether he is indicted or not now is not up to Congress. It is up to the DOJ. And no one—

no, it's not. It's up to you, motherfucker. You were elected. You took an oath. You are there to represent the people. All of these people should be putting abnormal amounts of pressure on the DOJ to get this done. This idea of kicking the can over— oh, it's them, or oh, it's them, or oh, it's them— that's just another way of letting nothing happen. Okay, here's the bottom line. All of you fucks were elected to fucking represent the betterment of the people, and you don't do it because you make more money in Congress than you could in real life. That's it. You don't want to sacrifice your position. You don't actually represent the American people. And if you did, these people would have been held accountable a long time ago. But they're not because you're all fucking pussies and you won't fucking sacrifice your own or potentially sacrifice your own well-being for what is right, which is what you swore to do. So don't give me this shit, Rand Paul, about, oh, it's not in my hands. You're a part of the fucking problem just like everybody fucking else. Okay, now I can appreciate what you say.

I can appreciate that you get up and say things that we all know to be true, but unless there's actually accountability, you're no different than anybody else. And that's the bottom line. And that goes for every single one of you elected pussies up there in fucking Washington, D.C.

Do you know what else this gave me vibes of too, bro? It's this— it's the standard playbook that they've been running where like when something's going on, oh, it's their fault. But not only that, but it's like something— something's going on, major event, whatever the case is, right? And people start calling bullshit too much. Boom. Let's move to the next thing. Well, no shit. Same playbook.

Yeah. Over and over and over. Oh, we hate what's going on with Israel. Oh, by the way, Hantavirus.

That's right. Well, I mean, like in the timeline, right? Well, before that.

And then when we figure out that Hantavirus is bullshit, there'll be another war. And this is all to avoid accountability for the oppression and the criminal injustices that our own government, who was elected to represent the people, continuously participate in. That is what the point is. They, they do not want to do anything that will sacrifice their own position and their own well-being and their own income, which by the way comes at the fleecing of the American people. Why are we not— why do we not deport all of these Somali migrants? Why are they not out of here? Why are all of these illegal migrants that have come over here, why are they not gone? There's only one reason. There's only one. We could say, oh, it's because of this or because of that or because of this or because of that. No, there's one fucking reason. The reason is they don't want to. That's it.

Do you think that that was like ever a serious plan?

I don't know if it's a serious plan. Like, like they all get like—

it started off as a serious— you really want these people out?

No, I'm not.

Look, what do you think?

I don't know. I'm not in the room. But at the end of the day, the bottom line is, is if they wanted them gone, they would be gone. And that is it. That is the— that's the end of— that's the bottom line. Yeah, if they wanted him gone, they'd be gone, and they're not gone, which means they don't want them gone. Okay, now do I believe it was a coordinated plan? I absolutely 100% believe that it was a coordinated plan by Democrats, by Democrats, to flood the country with potential voters because they have alienated a lot of the Black and minority voters by overpromising and never delivering— not underdelivering, never delivering— which has disenfranchised a lot of their traditional voter base. So when you've disenfranchised your traditional voter base, common sense would say we need to fix that. So let's go out and let's do what's right and let's fix this with these people. But that's not how these people think because they have no intention of fixing anything because the way they make money is by embezzling and stealing and misappropriating the funds that they promise our minorities for their own benefit. So instead of actually fixing what's going on, they say, okay, well, fuck them, they can vote however they want, we'll bring in a whole bunch of new people.

We'll just replace them.

Yeah, that's it. And I think there's a lot more to that than just the Democrats, uh, wanting their votes. I think there's that. I also think there is the destabilization of American culture, which is— I don't think all of the Democrats, like, I don't think they're smart enough to understand. I think that comes from higher up the chain, people that are in the World Economic Forum, uh, people that are very anti-white, and they want to remove the, the quote unquote threat of white Americans or white people in general. You know, I think there's a lot of different reasons, but— and they all come from different levels.

Yeah.

Okay. I don't, I don't think all these Democrats understand. Like, I think they probably all understand the voting part.

Right?

We need more voters so we can stay in power and get the money. I think these people are pretty fucking stupid. I don't think a lot of them understand what the real reason is.

Yeah, 10,000-foot view.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, yeah. But like, well, I mean, the right ain't safe in that either though, right?

No, no, that's what I'm saying.

When them people came in, dude, they were bussing them further into the country. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like guys like down in Texas, like, bro, that's Abbott. Why the fuck would we do that?

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Like, no, like, okay, if you're gonna spend taxpayer money on a bus or a fucking flight, send them back home.

Listen, I think they all suck, but I do think that the Democrats are responsible for that part of it.

For sure, for sure.

I think, I think the Republicans, I think they have been infiltrated at a degree by a lot of people who aren't actually Republicans or conservative, who ran under that banner, who actually represent the interests of the Democrats. With all that being said, your original question was, do you think it's an official plan? I don't think they get in a room together and say, oh man, here's the plan as a collective. But I think there is things that are understood that don't need to be explained. And I think that's more of what is going on at this point in time.

Yeah. Yeah.

But again, yeah, they could all meet down at the, you know, their little secret handshake dungeon.

That's right.

Where they eat children or whatever the fuck they do. And, you know, and yeah, they could all be on the same page. But I think there's— I think these people are very stupid. I think these people, the reason that they have sought government positions is always— and I believe this with 99% of these people— is always to serve their own interests. That's it. I think there's a few guys up there that are true Americans that represent people, and those are the ones that get attacked the most, like Thomas Massie. Okay.

Tim Burchett.

Yeah. These are the guys that get blasted.

Yeah.

So to answer your question, I don't know.

Yeah. Do you think, do you think the sentiment of trying to get these people out of the country was a real plan? Like, do you think that was like—

I think they knew. I, I think they look at—

I mean, do you think that was just a ploy used to—

I think these people look at the polls, they understand the pain points that the people want, they play to those pain points, and they have no shame in not doing anything that they tell us they're going to do. Yeah, that's what I think. Yeah, they've been doing it to the Black community for fucking 60 years. Okay. They go in every 2 years and they say, hey, Black people, we're going to fix all the shit that the white guys did to you. Woo woo woo woo woo! Right. All excited. They get them all excited. And then what they do, what they do is then they, they blame Whitey. All right. And they drive that narrative of racism and they promise all this shit. And then when they can't deliver it because they've stolen the money or they've misappropriated the funds or they've allowed fraud to funnel it back to them, then they come in again and say, man, we tried, but Whitey fucked it up. And that serves a lot of different purposes. It removes accountability from them. It gets the focus back on people who aren't really the enemy, and it creates enough division to where nobody can really see what is actually going on.

Yeah, guys, jumping on this conversation, man. Let us know what you guys think down in the comments. Oh, Biden, it's your boy. Oh yeah, let's keep cruising, man. We got headline 3. Uh, this is probably one of my favorite dudes out there right now in the game. Shane Gillis is in the news. Yeah, what do you do? I mean, I thought he did great. I thought he did great. So headline 3 reads, Shane Gillis infuriates Chelsea Handler with shocking jokes about her support for Israel and ties to Jeffrey Epstein at brutal Kevin Hart roast. The roast things are funny to me. I don't think I would ever want to like submit to that type of torture. You know what I'm saying? Like, like the, like, don't roast me. I don't do well in those environments. I would want to fight.

I think it just depends on the nature of, you know, of it.

Would you do a roast?

I mean, I'd be pretty easy to roast.

I'm aware of that.

Would you? Yeah, I mean, Zeeshan does a pretty good impression. He does.

You know, dude, we should do a couple.

Remember that video you guys made a couple years ago? That shit was funny as fuck, dude. That shit was so funny, dude.

Who would be your panel? Like, who would you want to roast you?

I mean, it has to be people that know you.

Yeah, right. That's true.

So I don't know. I'm not, I'm not big enough to have a roast yet.

No, we can have—

no, you guys can roast me.

Yeah, we have an internal roast.

Yeah, right.

That'd be great. Yeah. Okay.

We do that every day though.

True.

It just depends on who's the subject of the roasting.

That's right. That's right.

I mean, are you really friends with someone if you don't roast the fuck out of them?

I mean, I don't feel like we can be friends if I can't roast you.

Not only that, like, if I don't like you, I don't care enough to roast you. I just say you're a fucking piece of shit. Fuck you.

If I don't make you feel terrible, then we're probably not friends. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I don't even want to waste my wit on you.

That's right. That's right, dude. Hell yeah. Yeah.

I do like that culture is getting back to that.

It is. Well, I mean, that's kind of where I want to talk about today on this, bro, because it's like, you know, comedy is one of those things, dude. It's like people get real butthurt so easy on it. Kind of dude. But it's just like, are there any lines in comedy? I don't think there can be if we're going to call it comedy, you know what I'm saying?

I don't think there should be. No.

Um, but yeah, and so Shane Gillis is making some news. Um, Shane Gillis and Chelsea Handler traded barbs during Netflix's The Roast of Kevin Hart.

That's the first mistake.

What's that?

Shane Gillis is funny.

Yeah, I wouldn't—

Chelsea Handler has never been funny. She's never been funny. There's never been anything funny about her. She openly talks about how she's a fucking whore and how she's a total degenerate. And the shit's not fun. Like, I've never thought for— you know who else is not funny? Is that fat girl, the one with the little fucking mouth and shit. I can't think of her name.

Well, that sounds like an oxymoron.

She looked like this.

Who? Fat girl with little mouth. I'm not searching it on my computer. She's trying to search that.

She She's super annoying.

Melissa McCarthy?

No, she's white.

White. Okay.

She's annoying. I don't understand why she's famous. Amy Schumer.

Amy Schumer.

That person is not funny at all. What? What? Show me a clip in the history of Amy Schumer that is— that you laughed at. Like, there's not a single one.

This one right here is going to go out.

There's not a single one. So like, where, where did this woman come from?

Yeah, like, she— like, who invited her? Yeah, like, fuck.

Like, like, for real.

I mean, yeah, well, Shane Gillis is definitely not a dude I would want to fucking go back and forth with.

I love Shane Gillis.

I think he's fucking—

I think he's the best in the game right now. I, I actually think he's one of the best of all time.

He's getting— already he's getting there.

No, dude, he's getting there. He's funny, dude. Listen, in comedy, there— to be the— some of the best of all time, you have to dominate an era.

Yeah.

Okay. Eddie Murphy dominated an era in the '80s. George Carlin dominated an era.

Don Rickles. That was what, the '50s?

Martin— or what? Martin— Martin Lawrence. Martin Lawrence dominated an era, believe it or not. His stand-up used to be fucking hilarious.

Yeah. Dave Chappelle.

Dave Chappelle dominated an era. Shane, this is Shane Gillis era. Yeah. Okay. So he, in my opinion, he's one of the greatest ever.

Yeah.

Already.

Yeah. No, I mean, listen, there's a lot of, there's a lot to be said for that.

Yeah.

There's a lot to be said for that. But yeah. So Kevin Hart had a roast on yesterday and Shane Gillis was invited and he just, you know, they all take turns roasting whoever the panel is, right? Shane Gillis went in, bro.

Let's check this clip. Chelsea is a Zionist. I'm not saying that's good or bad. Speaking of dead kids, she's a big fan of abortions. Chelsea's been scraped more times than the grill at Benihana. Speaking of tossing tiny shrimp into a child's mouth, Chelsea Handler went to dinner at Jeffrey Epstein's house in 2010. It's just a fun one. You can look it up, there's articles. It wasn't like a big party, there was like 7 people there. And, uh, it was like Prince Andrew and Woody Allen were there. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, Chelsea Handler!

And Shane, just so you know, Judaism and Zionism are two different things. Kinda like how Chinatown and Koreatown are two different things, but your favorite slur The slur works in both places. Shane has been accused of being anti-Asian, which is ironic considering he has the complexion and physique of a steamed dumpling.

Yeah, see, you're outgunned, lady.

Yeah, like, they're not hitting, dog.

It wasn't funny.

No, they're not hitting.

And by the way, I don't think that was a joke. I don't think he was joking at all.

I don't know.

I think he was trying to expose exactly who the fuck that is. You know, Shane's with it, bro.

You know.

Yes, he's fucking with it 100%. He is. And not only that, dude, you know how— you know, the most effective way to get the truth out is pretend like it's a joke.

Yeah, that's right. It makes it way more powerful because then you can—

it's plausible deniability.

That's right. I was just playing.

Just joke. Yeah. No, bitch, you were there. You probably ate some eating fucking things that you ain't supposed to eat.

That's right. And we're not talking about pussy, bro. She's a Zionist. Speaking of dead kids, bro, that's crazy work, dog. Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah, I didn't like that, but like, it's— but I also think that that's him pointing out some uncomfortable truths. It's like, uh, uh, what's that, what's that, uh, Grievous? Grievous? Grievous did a few years ago where he went out and hosted the Ricky Gervais.

Oh yeah, bro. Yeah, I thought his name was Gervais or something.

I don't fucking know.

Yeah, one of those.

Get a new name.

Yeah. Gervais. Yeah. Ricky Gervais.

Yeah.

He fucking destroyed that.

Yeah. And that was all true. And then he got blackballed. And you know what? He wouldn't have got blackballed if it was actually not true.

That's right. It was just a joke. He's a comedian, guys. Relax.

You know, all of a sudden he's blackballed. All of a sudden Russell Brand is blackballed. You know, it's not because they're fucking lying.

Can they blackball Shane Gillis though? No, I don't think it's possible.

No, because Shane Gillis owns the culture, bro. The culture's with him. I mean, look, bro, if they tried to, you still going to go to his shit?

Fuck you.

Not only that, I'm going to go to his shit more. I'm going to buy fucking tickets to shows I'm going to go to.

This Andy's fellow, he's bought every ticket. Who the fuck is this? I've never— he's never here.

But that's the truth. I mean, cancel him, bro. His career is going to get bigger.

Yeah, he looks good too, dude.

He does look like he lost a little bit of weight. Looks like he's maybe drinking a little less too.

Yeah, yeah. No, he's a funny guy.

I like Shane Gillis a lot, dude.

Well, dude, I like him a lot. Yeah. And, you know, Chelsea tried to clap back. Here's another little snippet.

Yeah, it didn't work, bro, 'cause she's not funny.

No, here's another attempt here. Now that your favorite— Real quick before— You could tell this, like, she was pissed.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Because, like, she tries to say a joke, but, like—

She's exposed.

Bro, she's pissed in this.

And you can't, you can't tell funny jokes when you're actually mad.

No, bro, it's impossible. It's fucking impossible.

Totally throws you off the game.

Y'all got small dicks too.

Yeah, your mom is right.

All right, let's check this next clip back though.

Now that your favorite leader is making the draft mandatory, I assume that all of you will be signing up to go fight in Iran, or do you tough-talking pussies only go to the Middle East for comedy festivals. I don't know, when are you going to Iran, bitch?

Pipe in, pipe in applause and claps and cheers, please.

Uh, hey, when are you going to Iran, lady? And by the way, uh, it's your people trying to get everybody to fucking go over there.

That's right.

Okay, you going? Yeah, when are you going?

That's right.

Okay, so all these people that support this shit, sign the fuck up, you know? We don't see none of that, you know? If there's a, there's a song by System of a Down and it says, why don't presidents fight the wars? If the presidents fought the wars like they used to 500 years ago when they rode out there on fucking horseback, we would have less wars. Okay. My personal opinion is every single person who advocates for war, their kids should be automatically entered into the draft. And if you're a politician and you advocate for war, your kids should go first along with you.

Along with—

agree.

Yeah, fucking you go.

But if you're 70, yeah, send your kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you're voting for war and you're in Congress or you're supporting the war, you're wearing a little fucking flag that ain't ours, then your kids should be the first motherfuckers over there. That's the truth. And I think most Americans would fucking agree with that.

Yeah, yeah. Make them think twice.

Yeah, it would. Yeah, but no, they don't want that. They want to send their, their, their poor rural inner-city Americans to fight their fucking bullshit wars. That's been going on for fucking ever.

Yeah. Here's a cool uniform. You can get you a fucking nice little—

oh yeah, we're going to get— we'll give you a ribbon.

That's right.

After you're dead.

That's right.

And there's honor in that. Look, dude, there used to be honor in fighting for America, bro. But the last several wars going back to World War I and II have been fought as a lie. They've been fought for causes that weren't true. And there's no way for those men to have known that. So while they believe that they're going to fight wars for the betterment of our people, which is very noble and very brave, and I respect pretty much more than I respect anything else in the world. We have to understand that those causes were lies. They were lies. Okay. My grandfather, who was killed, who never met his family, who never met my dad, who never got to see my dad grow up, never got to see my brother go play pro baseball, or we built these— do any of these things that we've done. He died based upon things that weren't entirely true. And that's a fucking reality.

It's fucked up.

Okay. Yeah, that's fucked up. So while I 100% support our troops and I would— it's been one of the biggest things I've advocated for in the history of my entire life. And I still do. I support— you could support troops and not support the people who are making the troops go fight.

Yeah, that's 100%, dude. 100%.

So why don't we— why don't we change that? That, you know what, if I was president, I would make that the reality. Y'all vote for war, your kids got to go. I don't care if they're 40. I don't care if they're 45. They got to go because you're voting for other people to sacrifice their children.

You have no skin in the game.

So you have to have the skin in the game, too. And by the way, they should go first.

And by the way, no more stock trading, you know, to fucking benefit off the war.

Everybody's seeing it now. The emperor has no clothes. Okay. Everybody sees behind the curtain. It's just a matter of time now.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, so she also added too, during that exchange, she said, quote, we're all just lucky none of you could afford an island. So not even fucking like, I mean, bro, she was caught dead to rights, bro. She's fucked. But one thing that I wanna bring up, 'cause I thought this was interesting, dude, it's like, again, like comedy was just one of those things. It's like, can there be lines of comedy? I don't think so. I don't think there can be lines, right? No, it's either all or nothing.

It's no different than free speech.

Right.

Right now, the only reason that you would try to control free speech is if you're afraid of the truth, right? That's the only reason. The only reason that free speech would be censored or certain things would be illegal is because they are true. Yeah, that's why.

Not because they're lies.

No, it's because they're true. Otherwise, you would just hear those people and you would be like, yeah, that guy's fucking crazy.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, Kill Tony, he was there in attendance too, and he had this to say, uh, in reference to Kevin Hart. Let's check this clip.

You know, Kevin, they told me not to mention your kids on this roast, but I must say, you did good. They've gotten so big they now buckle Kevin up in the car seat. He lost his gig hosting the Academy Awards because of some homophobic tweets, but you'd be homophobic too if you were eye level with that everyone's cock. He got into a fist fight on a private plane, proof that no matter how much money black people have, they're still just gonna act like ninjas. Like Bill Cosby, Hart is a black comedian from Philadelphia, and like Bill Cosby, women don't know when Kevin is inside of them. You've done good though, Kevin. The black community is so I'm so proud of you right now. George Floyd is looking up at us all laughing so hard that he can't breathe. God bless you, Kevin. God bless this room. And God bless the United States of America. Thank you so much, bro. I think Hinchcliffe is one of the greatest too, man. Like, he's underrated.

Yeah, very underrated.

Very underrated. See, I don't, I don't think comedy is judged on like crowd work. Okay. Like, a lot of dudes are good at the crowd work.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Real comedy, like real legendary comedy, is just them telling stories like that. That is fucking funny.

It is. It is, bro.

I love Hinchcliffe, dude.

Oh, dude, he's fucking hilarious, dude. He's fucking hilarious. And I think my dream—

my— one of my personal dreams, like, for real, is to, like, sit at that table and be on a show.

Just talk shit.

Yeah, just talk shit.

Yeah. Well, I mean, dude, with that, dude, like, I mean, it's guys like, like what I really like about him is what he's kind of done for the comedy game, bro.

He's given— he's opened it up.

Yeah, bro. Like there's no more barriers to entry. You don't need a big Netflix special.

Well, dude, that comes from culture waking up to.

Yeah.

Okay. Like everybody's waking up to this idea. They know it's bullshit. They know the fucking black-white drama is 99% bullshit. Here's the facts of the matter. The facts of the matter is this. If Black people and white people can laugh at each other and finally get along and get together and realize, hey, man, we're all getting fucked, those people in Washington couldn't do a motherfucking thing.

Nothing.

Our biggest handicap in this country right now is the division between Black and white. And it's closing. It's closing.

Yeah.

Which is great.

That's awesome to see, dude.

Like, bro, when we make little racist jokes or like when we fucking joke back and forth, dude, that's the shit that like that people laugh at the most on my stories. And by the way, most— it's funny because most of the people that laugh the hardest happen to be Black.

Yeah. Well, and then you got the white people like, oh, is it okay to laugh? What's even worse, dude, is like when people think that I'm joking, you know what I'm saying?

Like, that's the worst part about it.

Like, no, that's You know, bro, but no, I, I agree with you, dude. I think it is free.

I think it's weird because like you're like the white guy on the inside and I'm like the black guy on the inside, and I think it confuses people.

I thought that the other day, dude. I was driving, I was driving the Lincoln. I'm like, I'm in the white car, you were in the black one. I'm like, dude, yeah, switch real quick, dog. I can't drive stick though, you know. Uh, but no, dude, I agree with you. It is freedom of speech. I don't think there should be lines.

Oh, I know you're gay.

Wow.

Because you're 30 years old and still don't know how to drive a stick.

Well, my dad never taught me.

Well, when you find him, ask him to teach you.

Oh, man. No.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, I'm just saying, you guys will look good in that link and get some milk together. You know what I'm saying?

Teach me how to drive stick, dude. Yeah, I can. I know you can.

It's real easy.

Fucking— I know you. I know you could.

It's really—

you'd be the best teacher.

It's the easiest thing in the world.

You know, we can go, listen, we'll go to the tow yard, we'll get a beater.

No, you could learn in anything. It's easy.

I can't, we're not gonna do that though.

Nah, dude, you could, I put you in the Chevelle.

It's real easy. But yeah, dude, so I agree with you, right? I feel like with comedy, it is freedom of speech. There should be no lines. And I think the only thing that really determines is are the people laughing?

I think we should just be comedians.

Well, I mean. I think we should just Thought we were.

Oh yeah. You know what? We're fucking comedians now.

That's right.

Executive order.

That's right. That's right. But no, I think what determines it is like, are the people laughing? Was it funny? You know what I'm saying? Like, that's all that matters. Now Pete Davidson's getting some of this heat.

Really?

Because he— I don't— another one of those guys. Like, he's like an Amy Schumer to me. Like, I don't know.

You know, I don't— I don't know much about him.

Yeah. Like, I know he did the SNL shit.

I've never— I've never seen— I mean, a lot of people like his stuff.

He looks funny. Yeah.

I've never really paid attention enough to say he is or he isn't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think he's funny.

I know he's got a big old hog. Like, that's what he's known for. He's known for having like a 12-inch dick. For real.

But why do you—

Well, because that's what all the— he dates all the girls. That's what they all talk about.

Oh.

So apparently he's slinging some meat. Okay.

Yeah.

I'm just saying, that's what I know about Pete Davidson.

What?

That's not gay. I'm just telling you the rumor is he's packing some heat.

Okay.

Yeah. All right. Well, okay.

All right. That's fine. I know. It's like Hunter Biden.

He's breaking down walls.

That's right. I'm saying Hunter Biden's the same.

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

He's drilling for oil.

Wait, doesn't that mean anal?

I don't know.

Okay.

I don't know what it means. Apparently he's doing some fucking damage because I know Kim Kardashian and those girls been talking about it.

Okay.

And they, you know, got it.

Okay.

They would know.

Just the rumor mill.

Politely.

Got it. Understood. Yeah. I don't personally think he's funny, but he's getting some heat.

What'd he say?

Because he tried to make a little Charlie Kirk joke.

Oh, really?

Let's check it out.

Tony Hinchcliffe is here looking like both a child molester and the doll they give the child to show where he touched them. Tony reminds me of Charlie Kirk in that he's definitely been on camera letting a guy unload in his throat. Oh, you don't know me? You don't know me?

Yeah, yeah.

No, kill Tony.

Well, I said I'm not— I'm not calling for him to be canceled. No, that just wasn't fucking funny.

Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't.

Not everyone's going to hit, you know what I'm saying? Like, I did. Yeah.

I mean, look, I don't think that's funny at all. No, but to each their own on the jokes, man. I mean, here's the reality. You have to let the public do the deciding.

Mm-hmm. You know, people decide if you're funny.

I mean, that's— I don't, I don't think that's cool because, like, I think there's a lot of I think that was a terrible thing. Terrible thing. But I also think the Epstein thing was terrible, and I thought that was funny.

So the people make the party. Yeah, dude, Shane's looking good.

He does look good.

I mean, still looks a little weird, but like, you're looking more handsome.

I don't know what it is. I think he's got some veneers, bro. See, I told you, you get the veneers, bro.

I might need some.

I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you, it's like big ass titties on a chick.

Is veneers for guys?

Oh, fuck yeah.

Got it. Not, not just like a surgery for big ass dick.

Can you get one of those?

I think so. Didn't you?

I'm just saying, go to our specialist over here. You get some good teeth, it does a lot.

Yeah, really? Yeah. Veneers are not my problem. Is that what he said?

I don't think you could do the veneers. I think it's— that's You're— I think that, that's part of your look, dude.

What do you mean? I mean, I don't have bad teeth.

No, I think the little, the little space there, I think it's part of your thing. You got a gap between your front teeth if you didn't fucking notice.

I mean, yeah, but why, I mean, why you gotta talk about it?

A fucking waterfall through that bitch. You didn't even— bro, you— wait, wait, stop!

What is happening?

You motherfucker, you're telling me you aren't aware of this?

What did I do, bro?

All the little kids in DJ's neighborhood has Super Soakers. DJ's like, I got Fucking natural superpowers, bro. You can start a fucking wet t-shirt contest with that shit, bro. Come on, man.

I don't even do nothing, dog.

I'm just saying, you can't act like you didn't know that was there. What are you talking about, bro? You could fill a swimming pool with that fucking gap. You probably tried to with that fucking shitty pool you bought. Just saying.

Madat, send me the number to your dentist after this show.

No, I don't think it's a bad thing. It's a part of your look. I think if you had some like straight up, you know, like Hollywood— yeah, I don't think that would look good on you.

You don't think so?

No, it's part of your look. What? It don't look good on everybody. Yeah, I think it looks good.

All right. Yeah, well, you got— you got to start with that. You got to start with that. You can't just go to the—

it wouldn't be funny if I did it.

You know what I'm saying?

Well, did you? How many water gun contests you win? It probably explains why you can't shoot.

Oh, okay, now you cross the fucking line.

All right. Yeah, man, you didn't get all the same practice we got.

It's all right, it's all right. Wait, swimming or—

yeah, probably that too.

Yeah, man, listen, I thought, I thought, I thought Shane's awesome. I thought he was—

he does look good.

Dude's looking—

he looks healthier.

He does. He just looks happy.

I think he just lost a little weight, dude.

Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, man. Well, guys, jump on this conversation, man. Let us know what you guys think down in the comments. Um, it's now time— it is time for our final segment. As always, guys, we have Thumbs Up or Dumb as Fuck, and I decided to merge two of our favorite things, comedy and Black people, um, together for this. Those are two different things. Oh, yep. Oh, okay. Yeah, see, I don't really look at my gap that much like that. I mean, dude, it's, it's there. I'm just saying, man, it's there, huh? Sure is.

Well, I don't see the scars on my face either.

Yeah, he's just used to it. It's just there.

Yeah, it's funny because people still ask me and I forget that. I forget they're there.

I got a fix on my face.

I'm like, dude, oh, I forgot.

All right, man, uh, guys, are thumbs up or dumb as fuck? We gotta bring, uh She's an OG. Rachel Dolezal.

Oh shit.

She is back.

Oh shit.

She is back and blacker than ever. So zero.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Race faker Rachel Dolezal's shocking new life. White mom who enraged world by identifying as Black reveals major reinvention with a new African name. In sordid ways, she saved herself from ruin. Yeah, so I guess this is like a story of like, you know, you reinvent yourself, you come back better, you know, maybe. But yeah, let's dive into this, dude. Rachel Dolezal, 10 years ago, she was the most mocked woman in America, a pale blonde-haired white girl from Montana who had reinvented herself as a Black civil rights warrior and got caught. Now, when the truth was exposed, she lost her career and reputation overnight. The 48-year-old who has legally changed her name to the Nigerian-inspired Nkechi Diallo— that's now her new name, that's her new name— um, she spoke to the Daily Mail from her spacious $300,000 home in Tucson, Arizona. Where she raises her youngest of 3 sons.

I love how they try to make like a $300,000 home sound like it's a fucking mansion.

It's a trailer. It has to be a trailer.

I'm just saying, like, in fucking Tucson, $300 grand ain't what it was 20 fucking years ago, bro.

No, that's not happening.

Okay? That's like 18 cents off your fucking gallon of gas.

But yeah, so unlike the handful of other white-to-Black race fakers who have been exposed and shamed over the years, Dolezal has never once backed down or admitted she was wrong. She still identifies as Black. She still darkens her skin and wears her hair in thick locks. She still insists that race is a social construct and that she is living authentically. Quote, I was never faking anything about who I am at a core level, she said. At the end of my life, people will notice, if they haven't already, I never really switched up. Her exile from the civil rights movement.

That's because you can't switch.

That's right. That's right. But yeah, her exile from the civil rights movement has forced Dolezal to pursue eyebrow-raising careers. She now makes and sells art, but her primary source of income—

oh my God—

from the adult website OnlyFans.

Okay, so she's definitely poor.

I was gonna click the link because I was just curious, like, you know, but, uh, no. Yeah, well, so this is her now. This is a new up-to-date.

Oh, she got that ozemic face.

Yeah, because this was her when she got exposed, right? Um, but this is who Rachel really is, right? So you went from this to this to, you know, still rocking it, dude. I think she took a little bit of Kamala Harris's words of wisdom. What can be unburdened by what has been. She did it. Oh God. Definitely unburdened. Well. Yep. Nchile Diola.

If you're gonna get.

Diola. Yep. Wakanda.

Wakanda. Oh, come on, bro, she's Wakanda Black.

Oh, fuck, dude. Damn, dude.

Oh my God, dude. Wakanda forever. That's good, dude. Wakanda forever. Oh man, I like that.

Oh shit, man.

Oh man, yeah, she's still broke from OnlyFans. How'd you like to be— OnlyFans be your primary source of income and nobody wants to watch it and you can't get it?

Oh God, can't get it, dog.

You know there's a bunch of weird fuckers that are into that.

Oh bro, they're super weird to that. Like, they, they like black women but not that much, so like, like, this is a good middle zone for him, dude. It's Rachel Dolezal.

It's like Thomas Oh, fuck, man.

Fuck Black people.

But then she got like 7 Black kids, you know.

I cannot stand. Little Jerome, come here, man. Oh, dude. Oh, shit. Please don't cancel us.

You can't, because we're gonna show up again tomorrow.

Fuck, man. What we got on this?

Oh, come on, dude. Yeah, this ain't even real.

This is real. This is real.

This is real. You didn't make this up.

I promise, bro.

Let me ask you this. How did— how did she fool y'all?

Oh, bro, she didn't fool me. No, I mean, she—

I mean, come on, man. There's nothing about her that looks black at all.

No, no.

She look— I ain't gonna say what she looks like. I can't. I got limits.

Comedy does have lines. You know what, we're comedians, man.

I don't want to insult the people I was about to say.

Okay. Yeah, that's— oh, that's fair. That's fair. But I will, uh, yeah, man. Rachel, no, dude.

How does she fool literally the most militant, passionate black activists into becoming like the head of the double, uh, the NCAA. That's an inside joke, by the way.

It is.

Okay, we had, we had a— we know a very black activist that thinks that, that, that, that the, the NCAA and the NAACP is the same thing.

Well, I mean, there might be an argument for that. She probably told him she was, uh, you know, she was related to like Thomas Jefferson kids or something.

Oh man, come on, dude, I'm blacker than her for real.

Oh no, no, there's no—

I'm Sicilian for sure. I'm blacker than her.

You really got it. Well, I think she, she did say that like she was apparently her parents. Yeah, because her parents were actually the ones that blew her cover back in 2015. Um, But her excuse was that she was like, I guess her parents are white Christians and they adopted 3 Black kids. And so that's where she's saying.

Just because you take a whole bunch of Black dick doesn't make you Black, lady.

It doesn't.

For real.

As deep as it might be.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Okay. That's enough. Yeah. I'm done with that.

Yeah.

I'm done.

I'm sorry for you that I'm just gonna let you know there's probably a lot more of this. Your kids probably shouldn't watch.

Oh bro, fuck.

Okay, I'm done talking just about politics. We're gonna let it rip. All right, so, uh, if you have your kids, I probably should have put this at the beginning of the show, but it is what it is.

Soon they ask us to bed. Yeah, before you watch this. Hell yeah, man. Well guys, uh, well, what are we doing?

Come on, man, this is thumbs down. What is it? I mean You know what, I'm grateful that we live in a world with such, uh, comedy— it was such a comedy-rich environment.

Yeah, that's what it is.

That's how we could turn this into a thumbs up. She's giving us something to laugh about.

Bro says she looks like Benjamin Franklin. I gotta check this.

That's a big— that's a big honker she has, man. She does look like Ben Franklin. She fucking does. I didn't put it together, bro. You could superimpose her face and it would look just like him.

Fuck. She will be careful. She might claim that beer, that fucking thing. Oh shit, man. All right, man. Well, guys, Andy, that's all I have.

Yeah. Sorry, guys. We're retarded.

We put the re in the tard, baby.

You guys, you guys say we're two peas in a pod, but actually what we are is two rees in a tard.

That's right. That's right. That's right. Oh yeah.

All right, guys, we love you, man. Have a laugh. Have a great week. We'll see you on Thursday. Don't be a hoe.

Share the show.

Yeah.

Went from sleeping on the floor, now my jewelry box froze.

Fuck a boat, fuck a stove, counted millions in the cold.

Bad bitch, booty swole, got her own bankroll. Can't fold, that's a no. Headshot, case closed.