Transcript of Rory Wins Back To Back Masters, Scott Van Pelt Joins Us Live From Augusta, NBA Playoffs Set + Who's Back Of The Week New

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On today's Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings, we have a tradition, a Pardon My Take tradition, Scott Van Pelt on the show to talk Masters, recap Rory's win, back-to-back wins for Rory McIlroy. Uh, probably not who we all were rooting for, but we're gonna, we're gonna say nice things about Rory.

He—

impressive performance by him. Wins back-to-back Masters Championships. Uh, we have the NBA playoffs set. They're getting set right now. Some unbelievable tanking down the stretch. Some other national sports podcast news. Who's back of the week? And it's all brought to you by our friends at Noble. This episode is brought to you by Noble, Barstool's favorite footwear brand. Noble is a brand known for the best-in-class footwear, and they're everywhere right now, walking around city to city, at the airport, grabbing coffee. Wherever you go. Look, I'm wearing them right now. Boom. They've got so many great styles and colors. About to ramp up the launch of their new daily runner, the Journey 2. That's what I'm wearing, and they are so, so comfortable. Haven't taken them off since they were given to me. This is Noble's daily running shoe with an emphasis on comfort, support, and dependability. Soft where you want, structured where you need. Take it outside, you can run or walk. The Journey 2s are made to move your way. Exclusively for Pardon My Take listeners, No Bull is offering 35% off your first order. Visit www.nobullproject.com and use code PMT for 35% off your entire first order.

That's www.nobullproject.com. Use promo code PMT for 35% off. Okay, let's go. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by DraftKings. The crown is is yours. Today is Monday, April 13th, and Rory McIlroy has gone back-to-back at Augusta. He puts the green jacket on himself. Boys, first of all, congrats to Rory.

Hey, congrats to Rory.

Um, I think we should— I think we should invite— I think we should make Rory say no to coming on this podcast.

Yeah, I mean, Rory has— yeah, he's always had the open invitation. He hasn't taken it up yet. Uh, he will say no, but yeah, a lot of people are saying that Rory can't go on the big one. Yeah, that he's been ducking this, and that's going to be the one glaring empty spot on his resume.

Yeah.

When everyone looks at it, when it's all said and done, you've got, you've got Brooks. He's got 5. You got Rory, who is now at 7. Now 6.

He's at 6.

He's at 6. So at 6, I believe, is Faldo. It's Lee Trevino and one other guy.

It's a lot of guys in the olden times. And then he's still obviously chasing Tiger. He's still chasing Jack Nicklaus.

There's a lot of, uh, I was looking at it earlier, it's, uh, Faldo, Mickelson, Lee Trevino, and Rory, and they, they're all tied now. And then once you get to that next level, then it's like the gods of golf.

Yeah, it's the Tom Watson, Gary Player, Ben Hogan, Jack Nicklaus, Walter Hagen, who I think played in like the '20s, Tiger Woods.

Uh, you've got the, uh, I think at 7, that's when he catches with Arnold Palmer, which is kind of crazy.

Yeah, he also, that is only the 4th time ever that someone has gone back-to-back in Masters. So that was— who was it? It was Jack Nicklaus. I think it was Nick Faldo. Sir Nick Faldo. Sorry, excuse me. And then Tiger Woods. So it hasn't happened in 25 years. Rory does it. It's also kind of cool that like this golf, this age of golf, it's been like, hey, the two, the two big guys are Rory and Scottie. They were going head-to-head today. They've also won 4 out of the last 5 Masters, Jon Rahm being the one in the middle there. Uh, so yeah, incredible. I mean, we don't let— we're not a Rory podcast, but you have to say, like, he— I actually think that if he didn't win last year, this one he would have probably choked away because he kind of had that— he had that huge lead. He has 6-stroke lead going into the weekend. He did not play great on Saturday. Everyone kind of caught up to him. And then he played good enough today where he didn't make any, you know, huge, huge mistakes on the back nine. He felt like— it felt like he was playing very fast too.

He was just getting up there like confident, like, hey, I just know what I need to hit. And there was a few moments— Scottie's putt on 17 that didn't drop. There was Justin Rose had the lead for a little bit there. Uh, Cam Young started the day looking like he was gonna maybe win it. Didn't. So Rory, he held everyone off.

And then on it to Rory on 18, it looked like we were in for vintage Rory. And I think that's, that's the difference between this year and last year for a lot of people is that we— it was so painful last year.

Yeah.

And I think everybody, even the biggest Rory haters, came around to kind of rooting for him on Sunday. But since he's got—

I was not rooting for him since he's got that green jacket. Yeah, I was not.

I think that most people watching him on 18 this year We're kind of hoping for a good old-fashioned Rory choke job. Yeah, like he's got it. And plus, if it was going to be Scottie, like, that would be a great, a great story for Scottie too. And he, the putt on 17 just didn't turn at the last second. It was like half a ball that he missed.

You would have hit that putt.

I would hit that putt easily. Yeah, easily. Sometimes these guys know the course too much and they overthink the course. It's like, you know, if you're married to somebody for like 60 years, all you do is fight. You know, you lose sight of what makes that person so great. Not a guy like me, but yeah, Scotty, he was— he played really well on Sunday. Rory did not play that well over the weekend, but he played really well.

That's why you get it. That's why you get a huge lead. That's why you— he, he was, uh, he was in the lead for every single day of the tournament, which is pretty crazy. So, you know, pretty much wire to wire.

It helps when you have a private jet that can fly you back and forth to Augusta for day trips.

I— so I initially saw that story. For people who missed it, Rory said after, I believe it was Thursday, that, um, he has been coming up, going up to Augusta, dropping his daughter off at school, hopping on his plane, going to Augusta, practicing, then getting back home, home in time for dinner. First of all, what a flex. I think everyone, if they had the means to do that, not only to have the private jet but also to play Augusta, would do it in a heartbeat. I initially wanted to shit on it, being like, that's not fair. That's, that's basically like Mamba mentality. Or, you know, when like the stories of MJ or any of these guys who are just crazy competitive and they put in all the work. That's just what Rory was doing. It just happened to be that it needed a private jet for it.

Yeah. I mean, I don't think that it's unfair. I think anybody can do it.

Yeah, I wanted to say it was unfair just because I'm not the biggest Rory fan. And but— and I know golf is so weird because it feels like whenever there's a winner, we all have to congratulate the winner. Like, why can't we root for guys?

Yeah, no, it's like—

it's like any other sport, you know? Like, I wasn't rooting for Rory. I was rooting for Scottie. I would have been happy with Justin Rose. Would have been fine with Cam Young. Anyone.

Anyone but Rory.

Yeah. Who else was close? Russie.

Russie was up there.

Nothing for me. I probably would have gone Rory over Russell Henley just because Rory winning back-to-back.

Trill Hatton was up there.

That would have been fun.

Trill Hatton. Yeah.

Our guy Max fucking played his balls off.

But back to the— back to the Rory thing.

Yeah.

Because— because it did become a story that he would go in and he practices like every week. I think he said on the record at least like 6 practice rounds. Where he flew in and out, who knows how much it is. You're right. It's not unfair to— and you can't, you can't really like hate on the guy for doing that when he has the opportunity. But what we can do is we can then choose to be selective in displaying outrage about the environment.

Yeah. Carbon footprint.

So we can be like, hey, Rory, I hope it was worth the fact that you like— you probably killed 500,000 people doing that. And I hope it's worth your time. I think it's a carbon footprint of like one average adult in the United States over the course of 3 years.

He used up an entire brontosaurus.

Yeah.

So I hope you're happy to get to it.

I hope you're happy. It's not— hey, Rory, it's not like we're fighting wars over oil or anything right now. It's not like people are laying their lives down because of our consumption of oil. So I'm glad that at least you got—

you found it useful. It is. It is pretty crazy, the back to back. What if he just never loses a Masters again? Is now it's like, you know, when we're all getting older, but every now and then I'll be in a situation where I play some beer pong and it's like, hey, maybe I still have it. Maybe I'll just— maybe I'll just hit every shot. Maybe I'll be a 20-year-old myself again. What if Rory's just like, hey, I'm just done losing at Augusta. Like, I did that for a really long time. Wasn't much fun. Now I'm just going to win every year.

That's what Freddie Couples said this weekend. He was watching Rory and he was like, he just might not ever lose.

He might not.

It might just— we might have to Rory-proof it. Like when we Tiger-proofed it back in the day.

Yeah.

Like we got to Rory-proof it. I don't know what that means. Taller trees. He got— he found himself in the shit on 18. I don't know how they found that ball.

Dude, the tree—

the camera work. Can we say—

well, the camera— I put a note on it.

I am usually the number one golf cameraman simp in the world. I will remind people that the camera work that they do during these tournaments is absolutely insane. Finding the ball, all that stuff. I will, I will always stand up for them. This was a major black eye on the profession. The camera work, I'd say for the last 40 minutes of the tournament was terrible.

We didn't see Rory's tee shot where it landed. We didn't see Cam Young's tee shot where it landed. We didn't see Rory's second shot where it landed. We didn't see Cam Young's second shot where it landed. They then went to a bunker view for Rory's third shot that made no sense.

Yep.

We also didn't see Rory's ball go in the hole to win the tournament.

Might not have gone in.

It's crazy. It was just— it was baffling how bad the camerawork got down the stretch. And yeah, it just— look, Rory's— Rory's awesome. He's really good at golf. And oh, by the way, we did see— so we didn't see all those shots. We did get to see a bunch of teenagers drinking beer in Northern Ireland about 1,000 times so that at least they nailed that one. That one was good. Actually had more than enough of that.

I like that. That was OK. Like at the home track at Hollywood Course. Also shout out to Sergio Garcia. Well, what a day Sergio had on the second hole. He hit his drive. I don't know why he freaked out. He hit his drive into a bunker, but just because he hit his drive too far.

Yeah.

So the bunker is what, like 310 yards away, Hank? And he spanked it, just like rolled into it.

Yeah.

Hank, it was about 310, I think, like 315. Yeah. You have your book out.

So why do you get pissed off about that?

I don't know.

I just didn't like where it ended up.

Yeah. But you know what? It's also someone pointed out, it's like the fact that you're that mad on the second hole. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's something else is going on. He took his bunker, he smashed into the ground, smashed it into the water cooler. And then later on in that hole, he picked up Jon Rahm's bag and he was like, I'll just carry your bag down the courts for you.

He also, yeah, afterwards didn't show much remorse. He got dinged by Augusta. They were like, hey, we're, we're, we're giving you a, not a penalty, but a warning. But afterwards he kind of laughed it off because he's got a green jacket and they can never stop inviting him. That's, I saw there was a, there's a debate this weekend, like which would, which would rather have the, the, the gold jacket from the Pro Football Hall of Fame or the green jacket. It has to be Green Jacket. What comes with the Green Jacket is insane. Just being able to go there, you get to play this course and you get to play in the tournament for the rest of your life. It's insane.

It's pretty good.

Sergio can just smash his driver and they can be like, hey, sir, please don't do that. And he's like, you know what? Guess what? You're with me for life because I won one of these things and I'm coming back for as long as I want.

I think that there might be a secret rule where if Augusta's membership votes on, they can get a guy kicked out.

Yeah.

Even if you win a Masters, probably. I think that if you're hated amongst the champions, if you disrespect the course and the course's rules.

Yeah. Do you think they have like a morality clause? Because then they would have— I mean, Tiger probably would have had a couple of meetings about that.

I don't think a morality clause. I think maybe a— like if you, if you bring a cell phone onto the course.

What about Bobby Mack? He's you know, he got in trouble, right?

I kind of like that though.

Yeah.

For flipping off the course.

Flipping off the course.

Yeah.

Off the patrons. Can't do that.

No. There was one shot too that Gary Woodland had. I think it was on Friday. He hit his ball like way to the right and then was trying to pitch out to get back on the green. I think it was his third shot. And the patrons were lined up on that side of the green and they wouldn't move because you put your seat down. And that's where you're entitled to stay. Yeah. For the entire day. So Gary Woodland had to hit like just a little running ball and lay up short of the patrons so then he could get on the green for his next shot. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, they built a wall. Yeah.

We also had our guy Max have an incredible round on Sunday. He went from— he was in the 20s all the way up to tied for 9th.

Yeah.

So gets this— I think he got like $600,000. Max is going to win one. I really believe that he was in it. He's— I mean, he's finished tied for 12th or, or 12th or better 3 straight years at Augusta. He's playing the course well. It's just putting it together all 4 days. Yeah.

I mean, if you look back on how he was playing like last year compared to this year, he's, he's playing way better, right? I think Matt, you know, he didn't have any bad rounds.

Like, it wasn't that he had a bad round. He just— it's to— it's, it's actually funny. If you look at, uh, the last— I think it's like 5 or 6 It's up until Dustin Johnson won the COVID year, the winning score at Augusta has been like -10 to -12. Ever since, like, that's what it is. It's just they've dialed it, the course, to be exactly that. I know people were mad that they nerfed it a little bit by spraying it with water on the weekend, but that's what it is. And Max is— I mean, he's, you know, he finished -8 today. He's right there.

Yeah, Max played really well. I'm proud of Max. I think this is Max's year.

Yeah. And Brooks got an invite back too. I think he would have gotten one anyway, but he finished top 12. Yeah. Automatic invite.

Brooks is right in there.

Our guys are back in.

Our guy Jake Knapp also finished number 11.

What's more impressive?

Sick mullet, Jake. Winning back-to-back Masters or getting both of your friends back in the Masters next year? Like, how many dudes just have two friends that are playing at Augusta?

Right. And we just got— we just got both of them back at the tournament next year. They're calling Rory— just got himself.

They're calling—

just so we're clear, Rory did not get anyone else. We got two guys. They're calling it.

The PMT sweep.

I would love to— again, we'll make Rory say no, but I would love to ask him, like, what's more impressive in your mind? Have you ever gotten two of your friends automatic qualifications to Augusta? Definitely on the same Sunday?

Definitely not. Um, I might be the top of the list of guys who are never coming on this podcast. Oh yeah, really? The top?

Oh, let's do it real quick. I'll rush more of guys never coming on this podcast. Okay, LeBron, Bryson, Bryce. I don't know about that. I think Bryson way better chance than Rory.

I think at some point he'll, he'll need it.

Okay, so, so Rory, uh, probably Vrabel at this point. Vrabel and Rossini. Um, Chris Paul for sure. Hmm, who else?

LeBron.

LeBron. Although LeBron, like, what if he's in the internet Invitational? He's like, these guys are so funny, we want to do a pod. I think we could trick him. Yeah, to be like, hey, can you just come to our suite real quick? I want to show you our, uh, our producer's tattoo. Yeah.

Taylor Swift might do it.

Taylor Swift would not be doing— yeah, that's, that's definitely on there. All right, so wait, let's do a top 10. Top 10 most likely people to never come back on the podcast or come on the podcast: Rory McIlroy, LeBron James, Taylor Swift, Vrabel Rossini, Chris Paul. Who else? Who else?

I'm gonna say Dr. Anthony Fauci.

You think he will? I mean, he's invited back on.

Rob Schneider.

Rob Schneider. Good one. Definitely not. Cena will come back on, right? Kareem. Kareem. Still alive. I think that's about— that's 8. That's 8 good ones. Trying to think who else, if there's anyone else.

Justin Bieber probably will never come on.

Coach K. Coach K.

Yeah, no, I could see Coach K doing it.

I wouldn't want him.

No, I could see him. I could see him. He's in the media.

They mean things.

OK, yeah, that's, that seems like that's got to think that there's like AAA A-listers that'll just never come on.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

But that's what I'm saying.

Sweeney. Sure.

That's what I'm saying. Like, I think he might come on. We get more videos. Zach talking about sleeping in. Yeah. His eyes popping. I think that's definitely happening. That absolutely could happen. Oh, what's his name? Jared Dudley. Throwback. Yeah.

Yeah.

Remember when he announced that he was coming on and then like a few people on Twitter were like, don't do Barstool. And he's like, I'm not doing Barstool. One of the most random guys ever to be like, I'm going to— here's my line in the sand. I would say, hey, Jared Dudley, our bad.

Yeah. There's— I think amongst golfers, he's probably the only one that we can say, yeah, would probably not like to come on Barstool Sports. Properties. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, all it would take would be one nice, like, video from Dave when Dave bet on him, and then Rory changes tune. Yeah.

Yeah. We just say nice things about him.

Yeah.

But congrats to Rory. Good job.

Very much congrats to Rory.

I guess he will be coming up and he'll tell us how awesome he is. That's why we have SVP on. So when someone wins that we don't like, he can— Scott can actually tell us why we should like him. And we'll be like, yeah, because Scott's the best.

I think that it would— it's going to be good for golf to have a guy that's dominant that we don't like. Yeah, I think that's good for us too. It keeps us on our toes as a podcast because it's very easy. Like Scottie Scheffler, he, he wasn't the most dynamic guy, uh, in front of the media when he started to win. We got to know him, the most likable person.

Well, the fact that he likes Stu Finer means that he's the man. Yeah, no, I, I agree. I don't, I don't understand golf fans who, um, like everyone or like every single person who wins. Like, that's just not— it doesn't make sense.

This is—

you got to have some people you don't like.

This is residual liking for all the losing that he's done in the past.

Yeah.

Like, he lost so much when it counted in, like, major, major moments that a lot of people develop that sympathy liking of Rory. And it's just like, I want this poor little guy to just succeed one time. Yeah.

And he did.

And then he did it again. And then he did it again. And now he's good because everyone's like, oh, thank 'Come on, Rory, great job. We still remember you're a loser.' Eventually we're going to get sick. Like, the average golfer is going to be starting to get sick of Rory winning major championships.

And here's the honest truth about it. It has less to do with— last year I was pissed. This year it was more to do with the fact that there was a moment on Sunday where it was like, are we going to have a 5-team, a 5-person playoff? Like that was, that was a realistic thing with everyone bunched up. So to not have any type of playoff kind of sucked. Like, I wanted to see Scottie and Rory go into a playoff. Yeah, it would have been awesome.

It would have been great. Yeah.

So that was part of it. Other Masters notes.

I—

the egg salad guy. I know we talked about the hats, the shrink movement that everyone says that, you know, we got to get rid of all these people who are new into golf. I think the egg salad hat guy rules because I think he made that as a custom hat. That's a custom hat.

Yeah, they didn't sell that one.

That one is a custom hat. If you love egg salad that much. And I also was just thinking about it, like that guy wearing that hat on Monday morning back at work. That's very funny.

The only way the hat could be better is if the letters were a little bit larger and if it was upside down.

Yeah, that's also—

and that hat would absolutely rock.

I think it's also the fact that it's egg salad because it's not like if you had a hat that said bacon or you had a hat that said hamburger or ice cream. Everyone loves that. This guy's hat just says fart sandwich. Like, you're going to eat it. You're going to eat a sandwich that smells like a fart and everyone's going to be like, what's going on? It's going to be delicious. But let's just be honest. That's what an egg salad sandwich is. You know, when you make an egg salad sandwich and if anyone walks by, they're going to be like, ew, that was— this is gross.

I would like one that said savory tomato pie. That would be a good one.

Yep.

Just fresh mixed fruit. Would be a really good hat, maybe for like a big bachelor party to all share different ones of those hats. One that just says soft drinks. I'm just looking at the menu right now of Augusta National. And then one— how about one that just says domestic beer?

That would be cool.

The domestic beer hat, I think, might be the best one in the non-egg salad division to wear on a hat. I don't— I think it's funny that golf people are like, we need to shrink the game because these people wear stupid hats to our tournaments. Yeah.

I mean, it's, it's keeping in a different, in a different form. I don't know. I think people should get to do whatever they want, love whatever they want.

Yeah.

If they, if the style looks stupid, they'll just look stupid. Now, I do their own choice as a human being. If they want to wear a hat that looks stupid, let them wear a hat that looks stupid.

I do think that there should be more places, not less, that we go to where they do the Masters rules of like confiscating your cell phones.

Yeah.

No technology. I think that people actually crave that right now.

Yes.

I think if you had like a concert, a concert venue, and they made you do that before the bands went on, I think people would actually look forward to going to that venue. I think if they're— even if there was a bar, if there was like just like, oh, absolutely, like a good sports bar or a good, like, nice upscale bar. And they're like, hey, put your phones in, you know, the like little comedy bags. Yeah, put them in there. You're not allowed to have your phone out in this bar. I actually think a lot of people would go.

Is it— is it— did I hear like Chick-fil-A is doing something like that, that if you don't look at your phone, you get a free ice cream or something? Look that up. I think— I think there's something. My question, though, to you would be, would anyone attend Coachella if they confiscated their phone?

No, no.

It's like Coachella actually is the reverse of the Masters, a mandatory phone. Yeah, I think maybe this is just someone told me this and I No phone challenge. Is it really? Is it real? Someone told me this and then I just— I'm in a big mood of just whatever people tell me, I just believe.

Select Chick-fil-A locations are offering free small cone to customers who participate in the cell phone coop challenge.

I like this. That's more places to do it.

Like if you had, you know, how like late, late summer you start to get some of the, some of the theme days at MLB ballparks. Yeah. Like Bark at the Park. Yeah. If there was no cell phone day.

This is like my idea of the ballpark week.

Yeah. Your idea of what?

No replay week in sports where we could just start, just start doing stuff like that where it's like we— the NBA says, hey, for an entire week, we're just not going to have any instant replay.

Yeah, I think if you told people ahead of time, hey, this is the non-cell phone day at our ballpark, I think you would actually get a lot of people that want to go to.

Definitely. The other ones were Howtong Lee, who had a 10, who froze out Scottie. What was that at 16? 13. Oh yeah, he was— he putted it into the water. He was in the bushes looking for his ball. He also apparently had food poisoning or some type of diarrhea incident because he said he went to the toilet last night a lot of times. And this morning when I got to the golf course and was still feeling really bad and I was living in the toilet. Do you think that's a 1% Whoop recovery?

Oh, and then Whoop was using that as like promotion, which I found a little bit Interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah, he is.

He is the man, though. Remember, he's the one with the— on his wedges, it says Hao Tong is the most handsome man in China. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

I think that's why he kept hitting the ball over and over again in the woods. Yeah, he's probably taking a shit at the time. Oh my God. Now, when I saw this, Hank, maybe you can— you can answer my question because I had a golf rules question for you. Why didn't he just say, I can't find my ball?

You know, what is that? What happens? You just like unplay. I do a breakfast ball on the, on the 12th hole. Yeah. Or the 13th hole.

Yeah. Because if you say—

if you think they have spotters though, right?

But he was like inside of trees. I don't think they had spotters like underneath the trees.

If he hit— I don't know why I did that. I don't know why I went to try to find the rule and he typed in breakfast Yeah, because it sounds delicious. Breakfast.

It sounds delicious. What is that, like dark chocolate chips melted? Oh, God.

Little ice cream balls.

Some chia seeds in there. It sounds like one that you can put in a Ziploc and carry around with you all day. Some granola in there. I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to maybe put like some caramel and then a little bit of sea salt on the outside.

It's like OB if you can't find your ball. If you can't find it, go back to the tee. Unplayable.

Yeah, you can go back to where you hit your first shot and it's a one-stroke penalty, right?

Yes. Why didn't he do that?

He should have done that. I think he probably thought he could, he could make it out because like if I'm in that, couldn't deep, deep stuff, I'm going to look for it, but then I'm not going to look very hard for it.

You're a looker. You're, you're, you're a searcher. I am.

I'm a little bit of a— may put down a quote card, please. You're a looker. You are from Hank Lockwood on the golf course in small text.

Any other? Oh, just Justin Rose. Feel bad for him. He now has 4 top 3 finishes at the Masters. That's only Greg Norman has more with out of win with 6.

It's hard to feel bad for guys like that. And that's why it was hard for me to feel bad for Rory, too, because if you finish second place at Augusta, you're going home with like, what, $2 million, $1.5 million?

You can't play forever. You can't play forever. You don't get the green jacket. You don't get to go to the dinner. You got to win one.

Yeah, I guess.

And he's also like 45. So it's, it's a little sad when, when he's at the tail end of his career and he's— I mean, 2, 4 chances. Yeah. 4 top 3 finishes is brutal.

Yeah.

The last 2 years, so close is pain.

And like him and Rory, they're, you know, Ryder Cup teammates, friends, but it's like you must kind of resent them.

Yeah.

Yeah. Rory, bad friend. Yeah, definitely.

Bad friend, for sure.

I would say so.

Bad friend, for sure. Rory, I did. I did like Rory's speech afterwards. He was very gracious and talking about his parents. And I think he seems like a nice guy. I'm not a fan, but he seems like a very nice guy. Can't say a lot of bad things about Rory, except for the carbon footprint.

Did he speed out of the parking lot afterwards and almost run over a reporter? Like he did?

So slow.

Yeah.

He also— did you see the dust-up with Scottie and the reporter? People were making a big deal out of that. I defend Scottie. I don't care.

So the dustup was because Scottie said, like, the reporter asked him what they think his round should have been.

Yeah.

Implying that, like, he left some shots out there.

He shot a 65 that day.

And, and he goes, that's a terrible question.

Yeah.

Awful.

I— it might be a bad question.

He also might not like the reporter. Change your face, reporter.

Right.

I don't know who asked the question.

That would—

you know what? Why don't you come up? Why don't you— if Scottie doesn't like you, don't ask the question, dude.

I might, I might agree with Scottie Scheffler on this one. If you shoot a 65 and someone's like, how mad are you that your score wasn't better?

Yeah, I just, I'd be like, fuck you, dude.

You couldn't be, you couldn't break 120 here.

He kind of answered the question after, like, he's nice. Someone else answered the question. I was Jason Sobel. Yeah. Listen, I don't know what the beef is, if there is a beef, but if there's beef, fuck you, Jason Sobel. We're ride or die with Scottie.

Mm-hmm.

He's— I mean, I would love Scottie Scheffler for life just by the fact that he watches Stu Finer say some of the most outrageous shit of all time.

After church.

After church.

I think—

for church sometimes.

I think what we got to do is like for major golf tournaments, there should be a special episode of Advisors knowing that Scottie needs to get him pumped up.

We could just make a one-of-one episode for him on Scottie. Just send him an episode.

Yeah.

Imagine what Stew would say on that.

I just remembered, uh, we recorded—

I helped Stew record. I don't know why he's here when he was doing the voiceover for, uh, the Ryder Cup. Yeah. And I believe he made a video, uh, for the US team privately. Oh, where he was just going off on Rory. Oh, I love it.

Oh man.

I would like to hear that video. I'm going to see if I can. Do you have that video? I think I do. That would be a great video.

Put the player.

Come on, for the people.

I mean, do it. Yeah. Doing a single man episode of Advisors just to get them pumped up on a major Sunday would be like, you know, that Scottie Scheffler is not going to lose a major championship if he's got Stew telling him to lick clit at 5:15 in the morning.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just screaming at him, eat ass. Eat ass. Go fuck Rory. He'd say it all. He'd say it all. All right. So another Masters in the books. Fun time. Wish it was a— wish we had a playoff. That's all we wanted because it was so— he was flirting with it. That ball not spinning, that ball not spinning at all on Hank.

You're the—

you're the course expert. 15, 16, 15 was insane. And then the announcers afterwards being like, it should have spun. He hit it wrong and he fucked around. So close.

Like, maybe I am upset at Augusta getting nerfed and not in the way that, like, Dude Perfect went out there with a bunch of, like, blowguns or whatever. I'm pissed because I feel like that ball in years past goes back into the creek.

Yeah, but they like— hey, listen, Augusta, they like it how they like it. OK, let's— we're going to talk some more Masters with Scott Van Pelt, who was at Augusta. Before we do that, we're going to do some national sports podcasts. And before we do that, quick ad. Lucy. Lucy's the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why the official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports. Every other pouch is the same. Lucy Breakers are the only ones doing it differently to give you the longest lasting flavor in pouches. Lucy pouches go up to 12 milligram strength and have a unique shape that feels great. Lucy's in stores nationwide now, or get Lucy delivered to you ASAP on apps like DoorDash and GoPuff. Lucy's the only pouch that delivers long-lasting on-demand flavor. Find a store near you at lucy.co/stores or get it shipped with 20% off your first order at lucy.co/pmt using code PMT. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every customer is age verified. Warning: this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. We also are brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. The NBA playoffs are here and DraftKings Sportsbook An official sports betting partner of the NBA boosts every game day the whole postseason.

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Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets, which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Limited time offer. Okay, let's talk some National Sports Podcast. NBA playoffs are set.

Uh, some NBA coaching news. Yeah, breaking news.

Where are we gonna start? You want to start with that? Doc Rivers.

Google them. Google them, Big Cat.

This is, uh, the least, least, um, surprising news of all time.

Doc Rivers is departing as head coach of the Milwaukee Bucks, sources tell ESPN. After a 37-50 season, the Bucks will embark on their third coaching search in the last 3 years. Now, it didn't say that he was fired. No, it said that Doc is departing.

Departing. He actually said on Dan Patrick's show like a few weeks ago that, uh, he's gonna beat Dan Patrick to retirement. So I think Doc knew what was happening.

He got in the Hall of Fame and then just was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm out. He is the, uh, we're talking about Dusty May last week. He is the original constantly hoarse basketball head coach.

Yeah.

Like, you'll— he's never had a full voice. Um, the Google Me thing that he tried to do to his own team a couple weeks ago. Yeah, that was— that's an interesting move because I think if you Google Doc Rivers, the first things that you find— I'm gonna guess that Game 7 is somewhere in the first sentence. Yeah, of his Google.

He'll probably get a job as an exec somewhere.

Yeah, I think like some shitty team would be like, we want you to be our Brad Stevens.

Yeah. You got to make Doc Rivers say no, and he will definitely say yes.

Yeah.

Well, you give him that.

If you give him that job title, Doc will make you say no to hiring him. Yes.

Yes. And then we had the— yeah, the regular season is finally complete. Finally, we had— do you guys— so I looked this up and this is— this is crazy. Did you guys see the, the all-time, like, once in a generation Haley's Comet tank off? On Friday night, all-time game. The Jazz played the Grizzlies, and both teams have been tanking for a long time, and the Grizzlies needed to lose. It was a must-lose game for both of them. The Grizzlies started 4 guys on a 10-day contract and, uh, a two-way player as well. They had— the Grizzlies lineup had one first-rounder in it and the rest were undrafted or second-rounders. Derrick Whitehead was the one first-rounder, and I mentioned Derrick Whitehead because in the first 14 minutes of the game he scored 16 points, and then the Grizzlies benched him until they were in— it was like a 3-point game in the, in the start of the second quarter. The Grizzlies then benched him till, till the fourth quarter when they were down by 50. He was too hot. We also had 3 triple-doubles in this game, one of which was actually a quadruple-double. And it was, uh, Jameer, uh, Myshak.

Uh, he had 13, 15, 14, and 10 turnovers. He played all 48 minutes. He was a -46 with a triple-double. Both the triple-doubles for the Jazz came from their bench players. They played one— the Grizzlies played 6 guys, the Jazz played 7 guys.

It'd be really—

it was unbelievable.

It'd be really interesting to do like a where are they now of guys that got minutes in like March and early April in NBA seasons like 3 years ago.

Yeah.

And just see like how many of the guys ever get brought back because it's, it's gotten to the point where it's just, it's blatant, but there's nothing that the NBA can do about it.

It was the first time in NBA history there was 3 triple doubles in a game and it was the most meaningless game ever. We had Kevin Love trying to come into the game and then being told to sit down. It was because the Jazz were so pissed they won.

Guys foul, well, they're in the lead. It's a problem. Yeah. I say that there's no solution to it. There actually, there might be a solution. Did you see the NBA Reddit post from last week?

No.

About how to solve tanking?

Okay.

This is as close as I've seen to a viable long-term solution. Dynamic beer pricing.

Ooh.

This is from Twitter, or sorry, Reddit user Kilonifornia6969. The NBA mandates that all beers cost $10 for all teams at the start of the season. Teams can increase prices by $0.35 per win and must decrease them by $0.20 per loss. So looking at the current standings right now, one beer at an Oklahoma City Thunder game would cost $22.70.

Okay.

One beer at a Washington Wizards game would cost $0.10.

I love that.

So it's like, yeah, you can, you can tank if you want, but you're not going to make any money off beer sales.

It should be all concessions.

And let me tell you, I think that Wizards fans deserve to have $0.10 beers for every game. Yeah, I think they need beer goggles on to be like, damn, that guy looks like an NBA player.

Yeah, no, this, this would absolutely work.

I'm into it.

Yeah, it should be all concessions too.

All concessions. Sure.

It's like if you're going to put out such a shit product, You know, the— like, a family of 4 should be able to go to a Wizards game and get hammered and get hammered and, and eat dinner for $2.

I agree. Yeah, this is the best, best solution that I've ever seen.

I like that a lot. So we— yeah, the, the NBA, I, I agree, Hank. The— finally it's over. This was, this was the worst regular season. It was dragging, just dragging to the finish line. And I'm excited for the NBA playoffs. But they just, they ruined their product this season in terms of how, how half the league was just completely tanking for basically the whole season and just noncompetitive. Like some of these, I was looking at the point spreads the other night. It's like every single game was -24. It was crazy. And, and, and they were covering because teams are so actively trying to lose. I mean, like I said, the Jazz-Grizzlies game. Was they started 6 guys. The one guy who shot well, they sat immediately because they're like, yeah, you can't play this well. That's how bad the product has come. So what's the promo? Windhorst cut for it? No. Oh, he cut a— he cut an all-time like promo.

Like it was like they were going into Game 7.

I love that. Windy's the best.

Very cool.

Yeah.

I do wonder where they find some of these guys. Like, how do they— if you're a GM and you're actively trying to tank, like, What is the process like for elevating guys? It's just G League and signing guys. But like, you want guys that will not help you win. I want to know, like, actually the nuts and bolts of, of how they make the decisions of who's going to be on an NBA roster for like the last 3 weeks of a season. Yeah.

And they just— and they, and they, they play 6 guys and they make sure that everyone's tired and it's a bunch of guys that, that are not NBA worthy and they can't win a game.

Mm-hmm.

It's It's just terrible.

So, Max, how are we feeling about the Sixers?

Yeah, so the, the playoffs are set. Obviously the play-in is happening this week. We have, um, the Sixers playing the Magic on Wednesday.

Max, where did you find that?

I couldn't— James told me that right before. He said what? It's not Wednesday? I think it is Wednesday. Either way, uh, the Sixers are playing the Magic for the 7 seed, which would then faceoff against the Celtics. The app I'm looking at says Magic Sixers, 6:30 Tuesday. Tuesday.

Oh, what are you—

well, they're fighting in the booth. This fake name, Rod Bone. Boone.

Oh no.

Did you get— God. Rod Boone. Did you get got? I might have got boned. Although the Canadians are playing the Flyers on Tuesday night.

Looks like a real guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rod Boone. So they moved due to Philadelphia winning and leapfrogging Orlando in the standings. This is a conflict in Philadelphia on Tuesday because there's Flyers game. Hornets host Miami Heat on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. I see it on ESPN as well, Max, for Wednesday. Yeah.

All right.

Justice for memes.

Justice for memes.

Yeah.

Wednesday.

So everyone who's listening right now has to root their asses off for the Philadelphia 76ers.

We're not like those Sixers, dude. Josh Harris.

The Celtics are going to be like -1,000 to win this.

But it's still— yeah, but Max, good fodder.

This is Max, not— you said they're going to win in 5. No disrespect, Max, you sound like a fucking loser right now. Yeah, the Sixers aren't good. Get excited, dude.

They're a playoff team.

Big Cat did this exact same thing when the Bulls were in the—

yeah, last year that was different because the Bulls were not playing.

It's different.

Well, no, they actually— it is because the Bulls never got the 7 seed. They never got— means nothing. No, they never hosted the first play that we always would have to fucking host the game. We'd have to go to Atlanta or Miami. Maybe there's one year we got— yeah, there was one year, but I think we lost both of those games. We just always lose them playing.

Max, everybody said last year that the Knicks had no chance against the Celtics.

It's way different, and Bede's probably not even gonna play.

Why do you say that?

No, I mean, you're right, Max. I, I do agree with you. I want it for the fight. The play-in, I, I do not like the play-in because I think it's bullshit that— and now the Sixers would make the playoffs right now if it weren't for playing. I think it's bullshit that the 9th and 10th teams. Like, we don't need to— especially in a league where you're trying to get even half the teams to be competitive. The 9th and 10th seed, like, they're not going to win shit.

Absolutely not.

But the Sixers might.

No, they're not, dude.

Are you scared?

This is a year.

No, pretend— no, pretend to be scared of the Sixers. Yeah, like, reverse it. I mean, if Embiid had an appendix, who knows? But yeah, true. Could be interesting, right? This could be an interesting series.

But that's just— think about it this way, Hank. That's one less thing that you can get in your—

come to the playoffs. I mean, the next last year, it's like you can't take teams for granted. Anything could happen. Yeah, you can't overlook any opponent. They're in the playoffs for a reason. They're a good team, good organization.

Gotta take care of business. You couldn't even— you couldn't even say that without stuttering.

He's trying to do the biz.

Oh yeah, got it.

It's okay. But I mean, you're in rage mode right now.

You don't know. I'm not— I'm not—

no, but you're like teetering on Range mode. What about Playoff P?

You're telling me all about Playoff P and how great he's been recently.

Yeah, he's prime.

Playoff P is back. What if you win game 1?

We've won game 1 before to the Celtics.

No, we were actually good against the Magic. I mean, oh, then you'd be— then you play the Celtics. And then what if you won the other game 1?

I just—

I already, I already answered that.

You could win multiple game 1s in one week.

You guys are—

yeah, the other plan's bullshit. I'm— I actually have your back, Mike.

Celtics. No, you got this. Embiid will come back for— I'm gonna officially say Embiid will be back by Game 3 of the series against the Celtics. Okay, then you got Maxie, you got Playoff P.

He's got to win. You gotta have one Playoff P game and Josh Harris steal one there. Then you get a couple Embiid games and one Maxie game and you're good. That's 4 right there. 2 Embiid games, 1 Maxie game, 1 Playoff P game. Yeah.

Dude, you got—

that's pretty simple.

You got this.

So simple.

I'm fired up.

You fired up? I'm fired up.

I'm fired up.

Fired up.

Well, that's— no, I know, I mean, you were fighting for, for a hockey playoff.

That's true.

And I love hockey.

You love hockey so much.

I love—

I'm, I'm the biggest hockey guy. So, uh, yeah, the, the plans— we'll, we'll get Rosella or Windhorse on in, in, uh, a couple shows, talk some NBA playoffs.

Do you want to make a prediction? Like, what, what, what cities has Windhorst secured his hotel rooms in? And then we can check with him.

Okay, I'll say, uh, Celtics, Boston, Boston.

I think he— I think maybe New York.

I don't think so. I think he might have just only done Boston. No, no, I feel like he might.

I think New York and Boston, Oklahoma, San Antonio, and Denver.

So it's just what's the, what's the fifth one that he's made in, in the East? Like, that's, that's really all the only question. The question is, because it's definitely those three in the West and it's Boston and it's just who, who's the other?

Philly.

I mean, Philly. I mean, this is the year a lot of people were saying, pundits were saying going into the season, I heard this is the year for the Sixers to win. You got, you got Tatum knocked out with the Achilles. You got, you got Halliburton out for the season in Indy. Out of the East. Like, this is the year that the Sixers should make a run. Now Cunningham, he's out too. So it's like things are wide open for the Philadelphia 76ers.

Yeah, you did say— or pundits did say that. You know what it is, Hank? Just dawned on me. He's going to use technicality. He's going to say that Boston's the only one he made in the East because he'll stay at his mom's house when he goes to Cleveland. That's exactly what's going to happen. So he technically has Cleveland as well.

Mm-hmm.

But I bet you it's— it can't— is it the— is it the Celtics? East is theirs to win. They have to win it, right? Yeah. I mean, they're not the number one seed, but yes. But set the— set the bar. Anything other than getting to the NBA Finals is a disappointment.

Yeah, for sure. I think anything but winning the NBA Finals. I agree.

You don't come to the playoffs to want to lose. Who would do that? He's not even paying attention.

I'm just not participating in this.

Memes, Zach, you want to chime in? You nicked up? I'm fired up.

I can't believe Hank even just said that. What?

They can't beat the Knicks and we're just starting it all over again. Oh, we're going to get ping pong again. Good. The same thing. Oh, let's just do the same thing. Bring it.

Same thing.

Ping pong is Hank.

Does he have the same mentality he had last year?

The way he's talking right now, yeah. And the team was significantly better last year. Are you worried about the Hawks at all?

Yes.

Okay. That doesn't—

Hawks, Hawks are a very good basketball team.

You weren't worried about the Raptors? Not a chance.

Mac, or Memes, can I ask you a question? Yes, sir. I have watched a grand total of zero Atlanta Hawks games this year. Can you tell me why the Hawks are a good basketball team, why they're dangerous?

The Hawks traded away— Hawks had a really good offseason, got a bunch of guys. They traded away all those guys, pretty much revamped their entire team, and now they're just playing like elite basketball.

Got it.

That's it.

Got it. They're just super athletic.

They're super fast and they can shoot the 3.

I'm kind of excited to see the Hornets in the play-in. Yeah. Does that make— I know the play-in doesn't really count, but the Hornets in terms of like the roster right now, and they're young, they're fun.

Absolutely.

They could be a fun— also, it's just like, I can't remember the last time the Hornets were good, so it's kind of cool seeing them.

And I'm just very excited for the Western Conference playoffs because the, the, the Thunder, Spurs, and Nuggets, it— that's gonna be awesome. And maybe even throw in the Rockets. I mean, Timberwolves are fun too. I don't think the Lakers, unless Luka's leg is just better because of the trip—

yeah, he's getting back to stem cells, he might be.

But yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited for NBA Plus. There's nothing better than playoffs.

I took a future on the Sixers.

You did just now? I like that. Yes, you got— I got to at least get a little and show some love.

What was the odds? It was good.

It was good number. What? It was a good number.

50 to 1 just to win the East.

I might ride Max.

50 to 1. There you go. Did you not— did you ever put another future on?

I did on the Celtics, but then I cashed out because— yeah, I cried.

But then remember, Hank called you a coward. He was crying.

But you said you had something else planned. For him. But no, I, I'm, I'm going to bet with Max. I'm going to, I'm going to stand with my guy. I want to root with Max.

Just got to get Embiid back.

Max and I, we always butt heads, you know, all our teams are always rivals with each other. This is a good opportunity. I want to support Max in his time of need.

That's nice.

Let's go Sixers.

That's really nice.

Thanks, PFT.

Yeah, Six up. Six up.

Let's have some Six.

Yeah, let's, let's have some Six.

That's pretty good.

Congrats on the Six.

Yeah.

Okay, any other hot, steamy Steamy 6.

Any other national sports podcast topics before we do Who's Back? Anything? Hockey playoffs are going to start. Hockey playoffs starting after—

I got an international—

well, actually, hockey playoffs starting this weekend. Next weekend is the weekend. We'll have Biz and Whit and Yans on all spring.

I've got an international sports podcast thing.

Oh, okay.

Should we start caring a little bit about British soccer just for the next couple of weeks because something very funny might happen?

Tottenham?

Tottenham.

Tottenham.

So Tottenham is in danger of being relegated.

They are, if it ended right now.

Yeah, so I looked it up. They're about even odds to get relegated. Now they are one of the 6 big teams in the EPL. They've got a massive payroll. They just built a new stadium like a decade ago for billions of dollars. It would be— I'm trying to think of like the NBA or NFL equivalent to this.

There isn't because we don't have relegation.

We don't have relegation.

It would be like—

it would be like if the Bills—

no, I think the only way to do it would be like if you said if Ohio State started playing in the MAC. Yeah, that would be what it is. No disrespect to the MAC, but like, that's what— it's crazy. Well, it makes no sense.

They have £134 million payroll. I think it's quid. That's probably the unit they use over there.

Pounds? It's loonies, I believe.

Loonies. Yeah, 134 loonies on that roster. A bunch of their players are playing in the World Cup for their respective countries, but they just suck and they can't win anything. And Harry Kane? Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't know who's on their roster right now. I think Harry Kane's on the roster.

Uh, no, no, no, no, hasn't been for a couple years.

Okay, not Harry Kane.

Yep.

I don't watch EPL. That's why I'm, I'm excited about the idea of a team that has this much invested in it potentially getting relegated.

Yes, that'd be funny.

For that is awesome. It'd be funny to see happens with the ownership group. And it's the reason why American sports will never adopt the relegation model.

Absolutely.

Because the people that would own the teams would stand to lose so much money. But Tottenham Hotspur, they're a team that was going to be in the Super League just a few years ago.

They came with one name, Souza.

Souza.

There's no last name. He's 19.

So he's got to be Brazilian. Yeah. Yeah. But so that's what I'm rooting for in soccer. Before we get to the World Cup, I think it'd be very funny if Tottenham got relegated.

Yeah, no, there's been a— it's been a pretty crazy fall from grace here with how bad they've been playing.

Would they then have to— they'd have to play obviously a championship schedule or a second division, whatever that is. Is that the championship?

Yes.

Yeah, the championship schedule where they'd now be going to, to places and stadiums that have like 5,000 seats. Yeah, that would rock. I think it'd be very funny.

Yeah, no, those are still big clubs. Like those are still big-ish clubs like the Rexona Wrexham? Yeah, is that the same? I don't know if Wrexham is all the way— is Wrexham all the way up to the, the Champions League? That's the second— that's the league below the EPL. I don't know if they're all the way up there, but yeah, it's crazy. It's absolutely crazy. And Tottenham was in like— they were in the Champions League not too long. Did they play in the Champions League? I don't know if they might have played in the Champions League this year, which is crazy. I think that might have I think they might have been in the Champions League this year, but either way, it's nuts. It's absolutely nuts. I think maybe last year, actually, that they were in the Champions League. It's a crazy fall from grace for them.

Yeah, I want to see— I want to know more about what happened to them this year because I asked some of the guys around the office that are EPL fans, like, can you describe what happened? And it was just all some form of like, you know how like American soccer fans start to speak with a British accent when they talk about soccer?

Yeah.

They're like, It's just a bottling. They're just bottling. They bottled it.

They just bottled so many times over and over.

It's been bottled.

What do you find in it? What do you find in there?

I'm trying to figure out if they're in the Champions League.

They might have been early. Oh, yeah, they were in. So they're out, though, because I think we're past the round of 16. But they were.

Yeah, that counts.

Yeah, they, they, they— this is going to be very embarrassing for them. The only reason I don't want to get involved is I feel like they're going to find a way to pull through.

Yeah.

And that will suck.

Yeah.

I want to get involved and be like, fuck.

I mean, there's just so much money at stake that it's hard to believe that I want to—

I want to see it happen, but I don't want to see— I don't see us get embarrassed and have them be able to turn it on us.

They probably will.

Who pulled up the table again? Pull up the current table right now.

They got to play the Wolves.

Yeah. Leeds, Everton. Everton's bad too. All right. So, so they're playing the Wolves who are last. So that should be— yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to do quick math here. I'm going to say— I'm going to say they're not going to get relegated.

Same.

EPL rigged.

West Ham is also involved.

Rigged.

I'm going to say the relegation discussion, they're not going to get relegated. It's probably going to be West Ham.

It's having a nice year.

West Ham is probably going to get— Yeah, really good.

Nottingham Forest. Okay. I like that though. This is a good topic. We'll keep— we will be updating it. And by updating it, Zach, can you please let us know?

I can do that.

Send a group text every single time Tottenham plays.

That was talking soccer.

Okay. What do we think of Tottenham?

Uh, they're shy in it. Shite in it.

What do we think of shit?

Shite.

Wait, Tottenham, are you a— what's up? Are you an EPL fan? I dabble. And what's your team? Chelsea.

We're 6th on the table right now.

Okay, nice. Zach, why did you chime in?

I did.

What do we think of Tottenham?

Shit. Tottenham.

There we go.

Is that an actual chant? Yeah.

Fucking soccer. Yeah. Yes, sir.

I like it.

It's a good chant. How's Chelsea doing? They're 6th. So they got— are they going to climb up?

I don't—

I don't believe so. Are you watching? Last 4, last 5. What's up? Are you watching games?

I'm more so in chat.

My— I do clips. My little brother, he watches full games, gives me Spark Notes. That's sufficient. Some of the games are early. Some of the games are like— oh yeah, that's not you. Yeah, I'll say it. Zach, you can't be doing that.

When is Tottenham's next game? That would be 2 PM.

Do you want to say a day?

Oh, 2 PM Saturday. Oh, okay. That's not Tottenham, that's Chelsea. I thought we were talking Chelsea. We were talking Chelsea, to be fair, but also just saying 2 PM. Also, it's pronounced Tottenham.

Well, I thought we were talking about timing-wise to see if Zach—

oh yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

And what city is Tottenham in?

Tottenham is in Manchester.

That's right.

The 18th. The 18th, sir? Give me a day.

Oh, gotcha. Or, uh, Saturday, 11:30 AM against Brighton. 11:30 Central Time.

All right, so you will update?

Yes. Okay, I can do it.

Yeah.

All right, we're on Tottenham watch, we're on relegation watch, and they're playing against Brighton.

Yeah, Brighton, that's correct.

Yes, sir.

Those are the Seagulls.

Can you tell me what I say about Brighton?

Like what?

Up the brights? What do we say?

Bright up.

Come on, you brights.

Brighten if you got them.

Yeah, brighten if you got them. I like it.

I think, I think they're the— are they the— yeah, they're the gulls, the seagulls. You don't see a lot of seagulls in terms of, in terms of mascots, but that's, that's bright.

Yeah.

And you know, there's a shitload of seagulls there.

That's the, the Albion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good bird. Yeah.

Okay, let's do who's back of the week. It is brought to you by our friends at Twisted Tea. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. Twisted Tea is the perfect drink to keep the good times going all day and all season long, whether you're hanging out at a friend's house, catching a game at the stadium, or at the bar day drinking with friends. Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. We also have the Lefty Lockwood box ready to go. Hank's Lefty Lockwood Twisted Tea box, go get it today. Original Beautiful. Half and half peach. All the Twisted Tea flavors are delicious. Weather is turning. It's Twisted Tea season. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Hank, my Who's Back of the Week is the Biebs. Justin Bieber, Coachella, Bieberchella. I forgot that Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry were dating, like the most hateable couple of all time.

But they're so relatable that they're at a concert together. Yeah.

Yeah.

But she had that shirt about vapes, too. Yeah.

Yeah.

What did it say?

It said, if I ask you—

if I ask to hit your vape, please say no, or something like that.

Classic. Classic.

Along those lines. That's very cool.

Classic.

It's very cool because she's like, what, 24, 23? How old is Katy Perry?

Uh, she's old.

I'm trying to— it said, please do not give me a rip of your vape no matter what I say. And Katy Perry age, on the other hand, Oh, she's 41. Okay.

Okay, cool. Okay. Definitely goes in the running theme of, you know, growing with the show and being washed. But I realized this weekend, like, there's nowhere that looks more appealing to be at than the Masters, and there's nowhere that looks less appealing to be at than Coachella. Cello is tough.

It just looks like— looks like hell. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I think it's probably my age. But the last 5 years, the last 6 years, I've just— I don't like crowds anywhere. I just don't like being in crowds. Yeah, I'd rather just sit at home. Like, sitting at home is so much better than being a place that everybody wants to be in a crowd.

Sitting at home and listening to music rocks.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess because he sold all of his, all of his catalog. So there, I guess, might have been some technicalities with him not being able to perform old music. So he treated the concert like it was like a, you know, Twitch stream where he's just sitting on a laptop pulling up old clips and then like singing along to basically old clips of him singing songs. Very, very different concert.

It sounds like he might not have wanted to like pay a DJ or band to play with him.

Well, I don't think he was like allowed.

I don't think he somehow doesn't have the rights to his own music.

So, but he can be like, if we did the live show, our live show in LA. Yeah. If we just pulled up Instagram clips of ourselves and just played those.

Not a bad idea.

Yeah. Easy. 30 minutes.

Yeah.

Chella. Not for, not for any of us. We should send Zach as a correspondent next year. That actually would be good if he came back. Maxey's also in and memes. Oh, okay. Whole booth.

Yeah.

I'll film. I'll film.

Max and Zach will put on.

And I don't hate that idea.

Would you rather go to Coachella or Burning Man?

They're totally different.

For sure.

Yeah.

Coachella.

They couldn't be more different. Yeah. Although I'm sure Coachella is like an influencer event with Coachella. You get lost, you can find your way back. You get lost at Burning Man, you might be out there for— if you want to send Zach and I, we'll go. In Palm Springs, California, sir.

Yeah.

It's like a beautiful place. Burning Man's middle of the desert and you got to—

isn't Palm Springs in the middle of a desert?

I mean, it's a desert in Springs. It's like it's a beautiful place, right? Like where people go on vacation. So I think Coachella is like very fancy glamping and all that shit. No one's— no one's roughing it at Coachella.

No.

Yeah, I saw— I saw my quarterback was there with the Kardashians, but I did also then.

That's cool.

Yeah, someone— I laughed at this because it's like too much information. Uh, shout out Ross Reed, he was on top of it. He said, Caleb Williams been going to Coachella on behalf of Neutrogena for years now since his NIL deal. When he goes, he sits in their section. Those Kardashian-Jenner ladies also have partnership with that company. Let's wrap this up and keep it moving, folks. Shout out that guy.

He—

I saw the picture, I was like, oh no, and then Ross Reed came to the rescue. He's like, dude, Don't worry about it. Got it done. So Coachella, Bieber, Bieberchella, Bieberchella.

Is he back?

I think Biebs is back. I mean, the hype—

people are hyped.

People are so hyped. Bieber never left, though. You can't be back if you never left. That's fair. Didn't he like try and do a tour like a year ago and couldn't sell tickets, had to cancel it?

Yeah, he did run into a little bit of debt with Scooter Braun, but that's why you sell the Masters for $200 million.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, he just sold himself to get out of debt.

$200 million.

What are our Masters go for?

We're not allowed that.

Yeah. That's a baller move.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

PFT, who's your who's back? My who's back is maybe Alexander Ovechkin. Oh, he might be back. So I've been assuming that he's going to retire all season. I think a lot of people have been assuming that he's going to retire at the end of the season. And then today, uh, the Caps played against the Penguins, beat the Penguins 3-0, and, uh, the Penguins lined up in a cool gesture. They wanted to shake Ovi's hand because it might be the last time that they play him. And Ovi waved them off the ice and said, no, go, go, leave. Not accepting the final handshake. Windhorst hands go up. Does that mean that Ovi's coming back for another year next year? I think he might. Well, I think if we make the playoffs, he might be back next year.

Oh, are you—

I'm excited about it.

Close to making the playoffs. Yeah.

Well, if we win one game, if we beat the Blue Jackets and then Max loses the next two games, so Max would no longer be fired up. Max would have to play the Hurricanes. And then who else do you play? The Canadiens.

Yeah.

So two good teams, but they're not playing for— the Canadiens might not be taking anything.

They're tanking. It's resting, maybe positioning. Positioning is what they call it. Yeah, it's not tanking in hockey.

It's positioning.

No, the Canadians are good in playoff. Oh, playoff positioning for them. But who, the Hurricanes? Would that be— that would be tanking or no?

I believe Hurricanes are good. Hurricanes are awesome.

All right. So, oh yeah, the Hurricanes are really—

Hurricanes are maybe probably going to win the Stanley Cup.

I'm saying good in the seeding though. Yeah, yeah, they're positioned. They're positioned, Carol. The Hurricanes are as positioned as you could get. They've been positioned. Yeah.

Yeah, they're, they're just chilling on right inside the Cape Verde Islands, just ready to strike.

So I think you're in position.

I think that there's— I think there's a good— there is a 45% chance the Caps make the playoffs this year. And incorrect.

Wow.

I said, I, I said I think, Max, but I mean, there's, uh, there's odds.

Yeah, there are percentages.

I said, I said I think you're a point back and the Flyers have 2 games 2 games left. You have 1 game left.

Yeah.

There's a chance that we make the playoffs. And there's also a chance that Ovi comes back. And I realized this last week because he's played pretty good. And it would just be awesome to see the Caps play against the Penguins in the playoffs one more time.

That'd be great. He's all fired up though.

He's fired up, but there's plenty of time to be fired up.

3 things have to— percentages alone, that's not 45%.

You need to be focused on having—

You need to win, the Flyers need to lose, and the Flyers need to lose. Yeah. How was that 50/50? 50.

That's 3 things.

3 things have to happen.

I know some people like the setup for the NHL playoffs. I think it's so stupid. I don't get it at all. Well, I get it. I just think it's stupid. It's stupid because you just have teams that shouldn't be playing in the first round playing in the first round. Like the, the, the Western Conference, the Central, all 3 teams are awesome and they're gonna— and, and the Stars are gonna play the Wild in the first round.

Yeah, I don't like it.

It's crazy. It makes no sense.

I don't like it either.

Like, I get it. It makes it so there's rivalries and, you know, you're playing familiar teams, but I just don't understand how you can have an entire 82-game season and then have the second and third best teams in the Western Conference have to play in the first round.

It's a fucked up system. That's stupid. In this case, I would love to see a Caps-Penguins first round season. Yeah, just because it would It'd just be a complete nostalgia fest for me. But I think, Max, I personally think there's a 50%, 45% chance the Caps make the playoffs. And you can think what you want. You should be focused on— you should be focused on thinking.

You should be focused on statistical—

yes, on having sex.

100% statistical. But let them think.

Yeah.

You know, 110 at Augusta and the Caps can make the playoffs.

I said no. I said 45% chance the Caps make make the playoffs.

Yeah, there's still— there is a chance. Yeah, that was— that was too high of a percentage.

You went too high.

What would you give it?

It's probably like a 33. I was like 25.

33 is— and 33 is generous because it— I don't know, there's 3 things, so I'm just 1 out of 3, 33.

We're not math guys. Yeah, never were. Um, but yeah, NHL playoffs starting this weekend as well. We get them both. Okay, my Who's Back of the Week. I get 2. One first is the, the Badgers, uh, doubly both ways. One, because they broke my heart on Saturday. I watched almost 4 full games of the hockey team this year. They lost in the, uh, championship game in the Frozen Four, up 1-0 for 50 minutes of the game. Denver— and the announcers, Pujagrass, credit to him, he kept on saying like, this is what Denver does, is what they do. And then that's exactly what they did. They scored 2 goals in the last 10 minutes and won the national championship. And then the Badgers have not fired, but kind of maybe fired our AD, Chris McIntosh. He's getting a newly appointed job, a brand new job at the Big Ten. They just made it out of thin air. And so now I get a new AD, which is a job— don't know. But it's, it's never good when you're like, I'm leaving this job for a job that was just created.

Yeah. Special envoy.

Great.

Special envoy to the Big Ten has not been good the last few years.

And so maybe we get an AD who, who can fix some things. Maybe get an AD who respects podcast money because that's, that's the kind of weirdest thing about— well, there's a lot of things. I'm a small piece of Wisconsin and all this stuff going on, but I've offered to pay NIL money and no one's followed up with me for like anything, like multiple times asked. They just don't have their shit together. It's crazy.

Like, and I—

again, maybe they don't respect podcast money and they're like, oh, this guy doesn't— you know, he can't pay us in Bored Apes. But you'd think that someone would follow up with me.

This is—

someone would be like, hey, you remember when you said you wanted to give money? I have sent it to the football team and the basketball team.

This is what we call in the biz a hot lead. If you're a salesperson, it could be hotter. That is a hot inbound lead.

Talk to—

looking at—

talk to a friend of mine who maybe played in the NBA, who also played for the Badgers, and he's like, same thing kind of happened to me.

Damn, was it Kaminsky?

I'm not going to say names after his birthday. I'm not going to say names, but it's crazy. How do you not— we just don't have— we haven't had our shit together. Sounds like years.

Wisconsin needs a Salesforce subscription. I don't think they have one.

I hope they— I hope they make me say no for the vacant AD job. I will say no, but I hope they make me say no. That'd be kind of cool. Just if they just called, just knowing I'd say no, but just just so I could say no.

The thing is, you wouldn't say no.

I would definitely say no. This is probably the last job. Imagine the amount of paperwork you have to fucking fill out for that job.

If they told you you could live in Chicago, still do the show— no, but also be AD.

No, because I would—

I—

people would be so mad at me because then, yeah, I'd be blamed for everything. And again, the paperwork. Think about the paperwork. There's so much paperwork you have to do. Yeah, like constant. Um, also Who's back of the week? The NFL draft, because it's coming up and we now have the thing that every insider knew for the last 6 months, but somehow we didn't know as the general NFL public. And then every insider says, well, everyone knew it. Why is it a big deal? I'm talking about Reuben Bain, which seems like a pretty big deal because apparently he was in a car accident 2 years ago and someone died. Yeah, pretty serious thing.

Then to get lectured about how everybody already knew about this when everybody was like, wait, what?

What isn't your job as insiders to tell us? Yeah, so like, what, how, how is it that everyone is— everyone in the NFL media circles would be like, yeah, we knew that, every team knew that. Okay, well then tell us. I don't even understand how this story never made any news. It's pretty crazy.

It's crazy how it was kept in-house. And then I, I did a little bit of reading about it and it sounds like the family of, uh, the, the person who passed away has no ill will towards Ruben Bain. Like, they're wishing the best for him. But still, like, all this is a lot to process.

Yeah.

And it seemed like, yeah, Maybe NFL teams knew about it for the last couple months, but I don't think anybody else did.

What isn't the job of the insiders to tell us? Yeah, I don't know. It's just a very weird story and, uh, very serious story. But this is the news. This is what happens right before, uh, the NFL Draft is we start hearing about stuff that then every person in league circles like, yeah, everyone knew this. Okay, great.

Tell us now. I don't think that, like, the NFL is just about getting guys that can play football. Yeah, I think at the end of the day they don't really care unless, like, if he went to court and he was like, my arms are too short to reach the steering wheel. Yeah. Then they'd be like, hmm, don't know if we got room for you.

Yeah.

But if you're a productive football player, they don't give a fuck about any of the, like, alleged red flags. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Is it 4 a.m.? There's a car accident.

Didn't know.

Breathalyzer.

The whole story is weird. And I mean, this this poor, poor girl died like she was in a coma and then died. I don't— it's crazy. It's crazy that we are just finding out about this now. But again, apparently everyone else knew. So, Zach, my Who's Back This Week is honorary statues because we had another all-time blunder.

Yeah.

And it feels like we're just on a hot streak of the honorary statues never going good.

Yeah.

King Griffey rips a tarp off.

Ichiro bat shattered.

Shattered.

And the bat was pretty bad. It looked sad, like it looked like a sad baseball bat. Yeah, very like E.D. Looks like—

yeah, actually, yeah, the balance look like we need to see Alice. Yes, that's a great comms, big time. Is it— what was that word you said? Oh, uh, that was— that was good comms.

That was— I didn't mean to say that out loud, but it's been good communication. You put out some good communication to me. I'll never say that again.

I'm sorry. No, I want you to speak like a gamer, but that's what you guys say to each other. Yeah, like good comms. This is Zach.

That's one of Zach's like most used words.

Yeah, I know. I just, he says it for some reason in that, in that, yeah, we're just having a conversation.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't mean to have to make it to their way. No, no, you and I had a little bad comms over, over the weekend on Friday. Um, I wonder if we'd like to unpack this a little bit.

We, we can.

Zach and I had a bad back and forth. That was, that was, that was bad.

A bad guys had bad comms.

We had really bad comms on Friday and Zach got a little casual with me over, over text message.

Accidentally. Extremely casual.

Yeah.

Way accidentally, though. What happened?

This is— it's not fair.

You're framing this, PFT.

Okay, it is fair. And no, I agree with Zach.

It's not fair. Is he trying to do gotcha? Gotcha?

No, just a little casual.

I had a miss.

It was just a mistype.

And then also the way PFT ended things off, I thought about it all weekend.

Did you really?

You left me hanging there.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think about it all weekend.

Read it. Was it the group text?

No, no.

So we were, uh, we were just trying to decide where to hang some things up, and, uh, he gave me some direction.

And incidentally, I just said, uh, K sounds good.

And then I replied quickly to let him know, swear I was trying to type okay, not K.

Wasn't okay, not a K in text.

Wasn't okay. And then he just capital K'd me.

Oh yeah, so Zach accidentally said K instead of okay. But then like wrote a paragraph explaining how he meant to type the O before the K, but he didn't.

And he didn't because K can be like pissed off. And then, and then he didn't mean for it to be K when I'm upset.

So I had no choice at that point but to respond to that text with K. Yeah, that was the only thing I could do, Zach. Now thinking, thinking back, that does make a lot more sense.

But in the moment, I, I was worried. I was like, I can't let him think I'm just K'ing him. I would never, you know, sometimes people think if you write okay, that that's being too— well, no. So I think if you ranked it, which I think is bullshit. I think, I think K, well, yeah, that you get that from like people in the office, right?

Even Max, Max was saying it.

I think that's a lowercase K is okay. I think okay is okay. Okay period is bad. Yeah, K capital is, is bad. I think lowercase K is, is bad.

No, lowercase K, you're just on the go.

Yeah, that's like a quick, that's fast. Yeah, okay. No, you don't hit one other fucking button.

You know what the worst is?

When you're mad at someone like you do.

The worst. The worst is okay, a y, period.

That's the worst. I don't think I've ever seen anyone do that.

If you get that, you're fucked.

I don't— What's worse? Okay or got it? Was it got it or gut it?

Got it.

Gut it is the most— You don't gut it.

It's just always—

It should just always be okay, sounds good. But okay, period.

Okay, sounds good should just always be the answer.

Yes. Or just sounds good. Sounds good.

You can just get rid of the okay.

Okay, period is I'm pissed at you.

Yeah. Hank does it all the time.

Yeah, I do not do period. I do not. Period is like really pissed. It's like, hey, this is the plan.

I say, okay, it's really fucked up.

Oh, yeah, I see. Yeah, you're— Max is right. You're pissed about that when you say okay. Like, hey, here's the plan. You say okay. What if I said okay, exclamation point?

Yeah, that's cool. That would be fine.

Yeah. Or just say, sounds good.

I guess I could say sounds good.

That's a lot of typing. Sounds good might get you for people. Yeah, I think that's— that would probably like clear up half your relationships if you just do sounds good. I guess.

Does anybody have any idea where okay came from?

I think it's the band that ran on the— okay, go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just weird that we got a word that's like, all right. But it's just two letters and those two letters make a word. Yeah. Fucking you up now.

I don't like—

I don't want to think about that. Language. Language come from.

Yeah.

Humorous intentional misspelling of all correct.

But that's not— O is not all and K is not correct.

All right, hold on.

It first appeared in print on March 23rd in the Boston Morning Post.

English word.

As part of a fad for using abbreviations.

Most modern references works hold that originated around Boston as part of a fad in the late 1830s.

Yeah.

And all correct. O-L-L correct is a misspelling of all correct. This. Well, that's weird, huh? Yeah. Hank, stop doing okay to people.

Got it.

There you go. Nice.

Sounds good.

Sounds good is all you need. Yeah. Okay, here's the plan. Yeah, see, K is actually better. I think K is better than okay. And from coming from you, okay, sounds good.

Yeah, you okay sounded terrible.

I can, I can tell how angry you are. Which is that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not mad. Zach, do you have any others that you were saving? The others I just had were Caleb not focusing on football, me and Coachella, and JB going $10 million for 2 weekends. So that's all you did. You— I mean, did you not research about Neutrogena? Neutrogena? Yeah. And the NIL deal he had.

I thought we were researching the probe this week.

Okay, on the space probe? No, the NFL probe, right?

Oh yeah, yeah, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds good. Was that the wrong project?

Yeah, no, no, that's right.

That's fine.

How's the probe going? Probe's not going good.

There's, there's some conflicting information on the probe being like who started the probe and why it's there. Okay, there's like a couple working theories. You guys want to know? Yeah, sure.

The probe could be due— you want to say what the probe is?

So the probe is the Department of Justice meddling around in the NFL's inner workings.

And they're saying they're doing it because of like, not poor work conditions, but like violations of federal labor laws and work discrimination like practices. But I really think it's more about the money.

I think they're trying to get in there on the TV rights.

Yeah. And they're saying it's not really the DOJ that wants to do it.

It's more so one of the, one of the big rich families. Got it. Okay. That being the Murdoch family. Ah, okay. Now we're getting somewhere. So like inside NFL guys are saying could be the Murdochs because, you know, they own Fox and there's like a—

that's why the story was in the Wall Street Journal the other day. Okay.

And there's another spin zone where it's like back in the day, the current guy who runs the whole country tried to get a team.

They wouldn't let him get a team.

So this is just him maybe trying to get his getback for past wrongdoings.

So there's a couple of different angles.

Okay.

Hot seat, Pablo Torre, because I think Zach just got to the bottom of this.

So it should take a couple of months.

We always got to just follow the money. That's really good investigative journalism.

Big time. Good job, Zach. Okay. Should we get our interview with Scott Van Pelt from the airport? Tradition unlike any other. Let's do it.

Before we get to Scott Van Pelt, he's brought to you by Microsoft 365 Copilot. It's something that helps people focus on what's most important. What if you could add an AI assistant to your work without leaving your workflow? Built into Microsoft Word, Excel, and Outlook, Copilot works where you work, helping you do more in the apps that you already use. In Word, Copilot helps turn scattered notes into a first draft. In Excel, it generates insights from your data. And in Outlook, it cuts through the noise to get you up to speed faster. The apps that you know go further with Copilot. Learn more at m365copilot.com/work. That's m365copilot.com/work. Scott Van Pelt's also brought to you by Jose Cuervo. When Cuervo enters, every moment just gets better. You can find yourself in the center of the dance floor. You can't help but stand up and high-five those around you at the game. The room reacts like it just got the same text at the same time. You stop checking the time and suddenly small talk escalates to laughing so hard that you can barely catch your breath. That's the Cuervo Effect, a signal everybody understands, a moment that anyone can join, and a good time that just grows.

All you have to do is keep it Cuervo. And now here is Scott Van Pelt.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very, very special guest. It is our favorite Masters tradition. It is Scott Van Pelt, Scotty 2 Hotty, from the Augusta Airport after being at Augusta for the last week, 5 days, 7 days. I don't even know how long you're there. Do you live there?

I got, I got here a week ago Sunday, so it's been, this has been a prolonged stay in Augusta.

Okay, beautiful. And we were troubleshooting, we had some issues with the cameras before. I'm happy you can now see us because we came locked and loaded this year. We brought our own tech, Big Texas, uh, for everyone. We have a huge box of Here you go.

Okay, you got another one?

Yep, I got a bunch of them.

Look at these baddies right here.

This is the sign that we have got a new Green Jacket winner, which actually this year we don't. We have the same Green Jacket winner. Scott, tell us everything. How, how was, how was today? How was this week? Rory, we're not Rory fans, but you can sell us on Rory.

Yeah, I, I was, I was following you today and I saw that you were not rooting for Rory. I'll be honest, I was rooting for Justin Rose just because I want him to win one and Rory already has one. Like the thing about this place is if you come here, all you can think is I want to keep getting to come back here every spring. 'Cause it's just, it's awesome. And the people are great and it's the, you know, the traditions and all that. So I was pulling for Justin just 'cause I feel like he's been so close and it feels like, you know, karma or something. Maybe not, he's not owed one, but I wanted him to win. But I mean, Rory's an awesome player and we should love great things and he's great. So, uh, you know, he made history last year, he made history again. You'll forgive me, I'm just sitting in the snack room here.

Yeah, in the break room.

Yes.

Um, I'm gonna get comfy. Um, so, but why weren't you rooting for him, Big Cat? Did you have giant futures on somebody else?

No, honestly. Well, there was— it was a two-part. One is, um, I've just never been a Rory guy. I think it's the But, you know, partially Ryder Cup, partially just, you know, I, I, we're big believers on this show. I think there's some people who watch golf and they, they kind of root for whoever ends up winning. They're just like, oh, what an accomplishment. I like to treat golf like it's actually, you know, almost a team sport where it's like you have your guys, you don't have, and you have guys you don't like. Rory's been always in the don't like. And then especially today, and I, I want you to tell us what it felt like, but there was a moment where it was like there could be a 5-player playoff here, and I think we all were kind of rooting for that. And we were rooting for Scottie, at least bare minimum Scottie and Rory, to be in a playoff. So it was partially that, where it's like, this is going to be great, we're going to get bonus golf, all these guys have caught up.

And then he—

Rory was able to just kind of put him away and never really sweat down the last 3 holes.

That's all fair. And I mean, the thing that's so different about this year and last year's is, okay, had he not won last year, then today everyone would have— everyone would have been filled with dread and angst and like, oh my God, this poor guy can't do it and he's never going to win. How's he going to blow it? But since he had a green jacket, all of that was gone. And so the fact that a 6-shot lead from Saturday morning was— had evaporated, totally different feel. And you're right. I mean, as, as the day plays out, it feels like, here we go, right? you know, all these different players involved, Hatton and Henley and Morikawa. Awesome job by him battling through a back injury. And Scottie's lurking. Scottie was 12 shots back before Saturday started. And you're thinking he's out, no chance. He finishes a shot out in the end. But the, it was kind of like, it was close, but kind of fake close. You know what I mean? Like we, we, we never got that sense of here we go, man. We're gonna be playing 5 wide into darkness. And the thing that I think most people want is, you know, they used to say, Ken Venturi famously said, you know, Masters doesn't start till the back nine on Sunday.

Well, you know, now it's second nine, thank you. And we're on the second nine and you're waiting for fireworks and they didn't happen. They really didn't come today. And so I think it's, I guess it's disappointing just because you just want to see the fireworks. You want to see, you know, somebody hole one from, hoop one from 30 feet away or knock one close for a birdie. And if Rory makes that one on— excuse me, if, um, if Scottie makes the one on 12, then Rory has to play 18 with a totally different feeling. And it just didn't happen. Uh, it almost reminded me of how Tiger won tournaments so many times, where he would get a lead and then other guys just fell off, and it lacked that incredible drama late. But that's just a credit to the fact that Rory played better than they did, and they just couldn't They couldn't encroach on the guy and Rose made a couple of costly bogeys and wasn't able to get back to, to the top like he did a year ago.

Yeah.

I've got an impossible question for you to answer, but I'm gonna ask it anyways. Okay. The impossible question. If Rory didn't win last year, do you think he would've been able to hang on through the last 3 holes this year? No, I agree.

I don't, I really don't. And I'll tell you why. Like there's a, there's a, Now I'm in like a work area. I'm just, I'm in a new, I'm in a new FB. I'm in a new FBO. I'm lost. I might just, if I wander into like, I might be on the tarmac in a minute. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I don't think he would have PFT because I think that there's, he had this freedom of, and he said it Saturday, like, I got it. I got to remind myself that I've still tied for the lead and I have a green jacket. Jacket. And then he's like a little bit of a flex. You know, I have to remind myself that I have a green jacket, which I do, you know. And he gets to go to the Champions locker room last night. He knows he's good. And I think if he had to, knowing it's Scottie and it's a one-shot lead and he's never won here and he's trying to finish the career Grand Slam— no, I— and that's not a knock on him. That's just an acknowledgment of how heavy the weight would have been if he didn't win last year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So last year was really worth too.

Yeah. And I, I don't know if you saw this, I mentioned it because we already taped the beginning of the show, but like I felt like the pace that Rory played with, because he got in a couple tough spots, but he didn't really stand over a lot of shots. He was kind of just kept on moving along. You could see that confidence in him of like, I know what I'm doing. And maybe it's because he, by all accounts, he played Augusta 75 times in the last month and a half.

Yeah, he, he spent a bunch of time up here. Um, and I mean, I think he acknowledged as much, like drop his daughter off to school, hop on the PJ, fly up, play around, come back for dinner. I mean, and by the way, like, I think people hear that and they're like, well, why should he get to do that? Like, well, Justin Thomas came up here and played practice rounds too. I mean, it's not like it's— he got some special perk that other players wouldn't have gotten. But yeah, I mean, he spent a, he spent a ton of time here and he knows it well. I mean, he's been playing it for years since 2009 as a pro. So there's, I mean, there's a lot that was cooked into today. And like, look, ultimately he had a 2-shot lead, he had a green jacket and he could play it up the wrong side of 18 and still win. My guy Andy North was like, I don't know what he's doing hitting a driver, but it didn't cost Boston. Um, and I mean, it's, it's a different relief, like a different joy. Um, but now he's got 6, and you talk about a flex.

Like, you go into the Butler cabin and the chairman puts the jacket on you because there's— I won. Like, give me my coat back, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way, we also mentioned the— I think people are put off by the, uh, private jet part of it, but it's no— like, if you said that that was Kobe Bryant, Kobe Bryant, a story like that comes out about Kobe or MJ, Everyone's like, oh my God, that's mama mentality. They just want it more. They went up there every day in practice. So it's like, yeah, he, he has the ability to do it. Why wouldn't he become the most prepared golfer for this tournament? So he has 6. We— it's a cheap day after radio trick that I'm sure you've done in your career. Over-under 8.5 majors for Rory.

3 more.

3 more. He may never lose Augusta again.

Yeah, Fred Couples said he's gonna win them all. Yeah, um, from now on, uh, that 3 is a lot, man. I mean, he didn't win any for more than a decade. Now he's won this 2 in a row. 3 seems like a lot. 8 feels like a— 8 feels like a healthy number. Okay, I'm not rooting against— I'm not rooting against them winning 10.

I don't—

I mean, go get them, but I just think it's a— winning 1 is a lot, man. Like, 3 That's half of what he's got in his whole career. That seems like too many to me.

Okay. Follow-up question. Who ends up with more, Scottie or Rory? I think Scottie's about to turn 30. Rory's 36.

I think, I mean, what's Scottie got? He's got 2 of these and the Open Championship.

He's got 4, I believe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's got 4.

Yeah.

So he's got, and he'll, he'll go to Shinnecock with a chance to finish the slam if he wins the US Open. So he's got 4. I mean, Scottie just has more runway. So he's, you know, if he's— is he 6 years younger? So that's 24 more majors. That's— I'll give me— I'll take Scottie. I'm just trying to be hot take Scott. Yeah. Late night hot take Scottie.

Yeah. Well, I mentioned too, like, it is sometimes golf, especially the Masters, is kind of— it's not easy. But now we're at a spot where 4 out of the last 5 Masters champions are Scottie or Rory, and those are the 2 best golfers in the game. And those are the two guys that will probably define the post-Tiger era the most, and they're dominating this tournament.

I agree, but it's like, it's still— and Rory said this tonight, he said, I tried to tell myself the reason this was so hard last year is because I was trying to complete the slam, but I— what I realized now is it's just really hard to win this tournament. And I'd say the reason— there's a million reasons. Part of it's the golf course and how it kind of sets up in a way that brings many players into the mix. It always happens. Happened again today, but it's how many guys play it really well. Justin Rose has had so many close chances. You know, Cameron Young's not going to go away. Collin Morikawa battled through it back. He's here in the mix. And on down the line, there's just so many players. And I said, you know, before this week, oh, who— give me an outlier, give me an, you know, someone who's a dark horse. And it's like, why bother with that? It's not going to be someone that's, that's some off-the-grid player. Like, the— your leaderboard on Sunday is going to look like what you think it's going to look like. I just don't know what the order is.

And that's what this play— like, when we go to Shinnecock, when you go to the Open Championship, when we go to the PGA in Philly next week— shout out to Max— um, it'll be— it'll be— if there's an outlier, wouldn't surprise me. But here, it'll— I feel like it's almost always going to be this type of player.

Yeah. Delivers. And you were talking about, you know, the gap that Rory had in between. So he won a bunch, uh, up until 2014, then nothing till 2025. Now he's won the last two Masters in a row. His— is his game like completely different right now than it was 3 years ago?

He just hits the ball so fucking far. I mean, he just— he's that— he's like— and the issue, he was crooked a lot this week. Like, he didn't hit a lot of great— a lot of straight drives. But when he does, my God, he hits it 340. He's, he's his swing. And even if you don't like golf a lot, like I get, you know, the AWLs, if you don't like golf, all right, but just watch the dude swing and picture like a perfect, like a Ken Griffey Jr. baseball swing. Like it's perfectly on balance. There's so much power. It's, I just, I marvel watching the guy hit the ball. His wedge game for a great player is not great, but his short game this week was insane. So I think, I mean, PFT, you're asking like, what's better at the moment. I think he's, he's, he just hits the ball so frigging far and he was a little wayward this week, but when he's straight, I mean, good luck.

How, how much, how much potential ad dollars did Major League Baseball lose out on with Cam Young not winning?

I have no idea. Ask, get Ravel on.

He knows that the MLB patch is so funny on his collar. It just, It makes me laugh every single time.

I listen, I, I, I get a kick out of that because I know all the agents, all these guys have been friends forever, and I always, I always love to look at like, all right, we got one here, we got one here, got one like, I mean, it's just, you're a human signage, right? Like each spot is, is a place you could throw something. I mean, grab that cash. I got no problem with it.

Yeah, it was very funny. I think it was when he won at the Players and he was wearing like a light blue shirt shirt with the MLB logo, and he actually looked like an umpire. Like, that should be his Sunday outfit. It's like his umpire Sunday time. Yeah, yeah. Um, there were— there was some— I feel like there was an NFL team at one point that sponsored a PGA golfer too.

Payne Stewart. Payne Stewart, back in the day, he used to wear the, the colors on Sunday of, of the closest home team to where he played. And he actually did that during a stretch when he was playing great in major championships. That's actually a great sponsorship.

Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that a lot. Um, also, Scott, I was reading a story. I didn't realize this, but at Augusta, we were talking earlier about how, uh, Mark Kalkovecchia got escorted off the grounds, um, for smuggling in a cell phone. Um, I guess first question is just, what was your reaction to that? What was, uh, word around Augusta?

I mean, you're not supposed to have one. I say that as someone who's allowed to have one, so I guess It's kind of like, you know, you're not supposed to do it. And so, like, the minute you pull out your phone, buddy, you're, you're taking your badge into your own hands. And so, I mean, yeah, it was the kind of thing that people are like, damn, can you believe, like, they got kicked out? And it's like, well, I mean, yeah, I, I've said all week, when people come here, they just kind of know how to act. And I mean, I get it. Is it a big deal? In the grand scheme of things, no, not really. But at Augusta, unless you have one of these little orange things on the back of your phone that's like a little sticker, then you're not meant to have one. And because I'm in media and I'm theoretically— I mean, I need one to watch TikTok videos and stuff like that and follow along for me not rooting against—

Yeah, you need to log on to Twitter.

Yeah, I need to know who Big Cat's got. Futures are, who he's rooting for, things of that nature.

Yeah, that was gonna be the second part of my question, which I read that you are allowed to have a phone. So I'm wondering, does that come with any— like, do you have any guilt the fact that you're allowed to be having phone, or does it— do you feel awesome like, I'm above everybody else here because, yeah, they let me have my own cell phone?

Not about— not above anyone, but I mean, it's— even though I know I'm allowed to have it, if I pull it out, I still like hide it like Si Woo Kim did when he was smoking at the Players. Like, I go somewhere, you know what I mean? Like, I, I'm not waving it around for all to see just because I don't— I just, I don't know. I'm still afraid I'm gonna get kicked out, but I, I don't think I am.

Yeah.

Yeah. Scott, how did you, how did you cover the Masters all week and you were at Inaugust all week and then you found time to go fix Ichiro's statue?

Because I'm, I'm a man of the people, Big Cat. And I, I fig— I like, who could get up that high to fix the bat? Only me. Like, I saw, I saw that. I meant to send, I meant to send something out about it, but I think I was hosting the Masters and I didn't get right on it. But eventually I responded. But I mean, we've forever, we've done that bit, right? Like where in the world, blah, blah, blah. And I mean, it's after a while I'm like, maybe we should let that go. But I saw that guy and I was like, Jesus Christ, that poor guy looks a lot like me.

Yeah. Yeah, he does. By, by the way, yeah, I mean, it's also great cuz you have Steve next to you. Steve, I'm assuming is listening to this right now on Monday morning.

I hope so.

If Rory had choked, would it have been the biggest choke since Duke lost that 19-point lead to UConn and Braylon Mullins hit that shot?

I mean, I don't want to, you know, take shots at my guy Duke, uh, my guy Steve and the Brotherhood. I would— I mean, the, the problem for Steve and for Duke is that like last year Rory won the Masters so they could just go, uh, and in Duke's case last year they had a big lead against Houston in the Final Four and they lost that. So they kind of have a They got a bad trend. They got a bad trend going there.

Yeah, they're actually— yeah, Rory and Duke are forever intertwined.

It's tough to see. Yeah, I imagine like, you know, sometimes if Big Cat has a tough loss, I'm here with him. And, you know, there's usually like a— I'd say like 3 or 4 hour buffer zone before I can really twist the knife too much. Yeah. Which I know, Scott, you might be the same way about Maryland losses. I've heard. Is Steve the same way about Duke losses?

He's fascinating to me because he didn't go there. And it's a thing like with him and his dad and like he kind of did it to spite his dad. But he, I mean, you'll see it if you again, social media. I knew you were rooting against Rory. He'll say UConn moneyline and he'll tweet North Carolina moneyline every single time that they play them. And then I'll just, and I just say to him, this is what you do. You do this thing and I call him out on it and he'll just get defiant. Like, no, no, that means I just— they're going to lose.

It's a good bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He always does.

And I will say Carolina in Chapel Hill, he was right. And UConn in the NCAA tournament, he was right. So, I mean, he's got, he's got a little bit of, uh, he's got some results I suppose he can turn to, but it's just what he does. He becomes the the, you know, the happiness hedge guy, bet against your team, blah blah blah. But that, that's what he does. But I don't, I mean, I don't heckle. He didn't go there, and I don't want to be a dick. My team lost 21 games this year. Who am I going to make fun of? Yeah, him.

There's always a, there's always a grace period too. Like, I didn't text him for a while, and then once it happens, I mean, he didn't— he actually was on a group text after Wisconsin lost to High Point. He did not chime in, but someone else did, and that person has been deaded by me. So He— Steve, Steve knows. Steve understands. He's a good fan like that, right?

I think that— I mean, if it really hurts you, then just don't be— you get that. Your fandom, there should be respect. So I don't make fun.

I don't make fun. Scott, speaking of Steve, he might— he's still a maybe for Max's bachelor party. We would like to invite you. There's a chance that Kevin Willard will be attending. He also has an invite. Would you like to attend?

I'm all set. I'm good.

You sure?

What if we throw in a box of Big Texas?

I'm all set. I hope— I wish, uh, I wish Max all the happiness in the world, uh, but I'm, I'm good.

You don't want to go to the Sphere?

Fuck that guy.

Max?

Yeah, Max. That's Max.

Yeah, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. We're good. I don't, I don't, I'm all, I mean, it's fine.

He doesn't do what he has to do.

Why would he want me? I didn't take any shots.

Yeah, you took some shots.

I didn't take any shots.

Listen, if I was, if I was a Maryland fan, I would be pissed at Kevin Willard too.

I get why Maryland fans are mad.

All I said is that I don't care about Maryland basketball, and I don't, nor, and I don't care about you or Villanova, so it's fine. That, that's great.

I, I hope, I hope that, do we have a don't care off?

It did sound great the way you said it.

Nothing like a good old-fashioned don't care.

Who cares less?

Isn't that the truth? I don't care, but twice. I don't, I don't care twice. Yeah, and louder. I don't care.

Yeah, I know. You guys are basically doing like the Twitter, like, you're in my mentions, bro.

No, this is, uh, well, this was Steve.

This was Steve's doing.

This is the end of Dr. Strangelove when they're in an argument over who's more Sorry, as they blow up the world.

I love it, I love it.

All right, so I'll put you down as a maybe.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, maybe, maybe. Yeah, okay, we'll put you on.

Where is it? Where is it? Is it like a cook— is it a cookout, or is it like— are we going to Vegas?

No, we're going to Vegas. We're doing the whole thing.

Oh, hold on now. Where are we staying?

We're staying at the Wynn.

Oh, see, now we're talking.

Yeah, I'm— when May, the weekend of the Kentucky Derby.

I love the wind.

Yeah, you do.

That's Steakhouse. SW Steakhouse.

Yes, we've dined there.

Scott, can I add in two more words that might be of interest to you?

I already said High Limit Gaming.

Oh, spearmint rhino.

Oh no, I can't.

Okay.

Okay.

All right. Fair enough.

Can I tell you a story about that?

Gotcha.

This is a true story. A friend of mine back in the day when I was like going a lot to Vegas, making poor decisions. This is a true story. A friend of mine was this stuntman guy. He was Ben Affleck's stunt double, and he was this ridiculous, like, motorcycle rider, handsome guy. It's a long story. Anyway, he was friends, legitimate friends with a dancer at the Rhino, and we went there and we're walking through as you do, and a guy's getting a dance, okay? And this is around the time that I had done a commercial. This is 100 years— it's 25 years ago. I was doing the 6:00 SportsCenter. And the gist of the ad was, Scott, we want you to host the 6:00 show. And I'm like, but 6:00 is dinnertime. So that was the tagline. 6:00 is dinnertime. Some guy is sitting there in a chair and this woman has her boobs in his face. And I'm walking by and he literally shoves this naked woman out of his lap and says, is, hey Scott, what time is dinner time? And I'm like, Jesus Christ. And I literally, I don't break, I don't break stride.

And I'm like, evidently right now. And I just keep going. And I just told my guy, I told my guy, I'm like, I don't think I really can come back here and be just like walking around gen pop. So I'll pass on that.

Okay.

But the gaming, I mean, that sounds like a good time.

Yeah, Scott, we did, we left the room that, that, uh, that I met you in Super Bowl week a couple years ago? Yeah, sat down at the blackjack table. Yes. Split a couple hands and, and went down like 6 grand immediately.

Well, you have more drugs that you'll offer me.

Mushrooms are not drugs.

Great. Yeah, that was— it was a less than subtle attempt to hand off hallucinogenics, which I appreciated a lot.

I know, which I had handed off to him because I went to dinner with you, Scott, but I was— I had— I got that like Friday guilt of Super Bowl week where it's like, I gotta just go call go home. So I went and took a red-eye, and I just handed PFT all my mushrooms. And then like, like 4 hours later, he sends me a selfie of him smiling ear to ear with Mark Davis walking by. And I was like, all right, it's going well.

Yeah, I need to ask you a question, PFT, for you. For just— so we had a group, myself, I think it was Rosillo, Long, Steve, Big Cat, and he got the gilts, and he had the Friday night scaries. And so we had a meal going, and he left before like he couldn't even offer to pay.

No, I think I did. Ah, I'm pretty sure I did.

Pretty sure it was credit card roulette, I think, and your card wasn't even part of it because you left. I just think— I think you got at least half even. You got a fake offer.

Yeah, I'm not saying you're old, Scott, but I think you're misremembering this.

Leave after entrees.

I'm pretty sure I stayed the whole time.

We had, we had, we had desserts where like people were feeding each other desserts.

I had those. I'm kidding.

You left, you left, you left after desserts. The whole meal was served.

He ate and I'm pretty sure I, I'm pretty sure I at least face it.

Listen, a guy like—

but it goes to the big guy. You, you know, the, the credit card always goes to the, the big, the big guy in the, in the room at the dinner. If I'm out with my, you know, with, with the guys in the booth, it's not even a question.

Listen, my feeling is if you eat with me, the meal's on me. That's just— I'm paying. But that group insisted on— we're going to do credit card. And so as far as I'm concerned, your credit's good with me. You didn't need— I wasn't going to ask you to pay. I'm just saying, I felt like when you left before anyone even had a chance to pay, I felt like maybe— I don't know.

I think you're getting old. I think I did. I think I did. I'm going to have to reconfirm.

Guy like me who I know Big Cat pretty good. At some point in the future, he will do the thing where he talks to the waiter like before dinner. Oh yeah. And he gets the credit card to them. So you can offer, and then he'll be like, it's already taken care of. And then you get to get mad at him for paying.

Yeah, that's gonna happen to you next time.

That's the move. Yeah, I gotta go, I gotta go to the bathroom. And then you walk by the bathroom, you just say, hey, here, give me the bill, and you just pay for it.

Yeah.

And then you come back and you're like, hey, when do we get the bill? No, we're all good, we're leaving.

I did that in Scottsdale when we had a dinner. Dinner of like 10 people. I was like, I'm just not even— because it's like, you also get to a point where it's like, we're not gonna split this 10 ways. We can't do that.

We—

you can't— you get to a level of, of, you know, being an adult.

We're adults.

Yeah, we can't do that.

We're adults. Uh, adults.

All right, Scott, I know you got a flight in a second, so I got— I got one last question. I'm sure PFT has a last question too. This is a weird one though. It's the Rohback question. Rohback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rohback.com. From promo code TAKE. I don't even know where, where this came from, but I'm gonna just read it. It's AWL Devin Tyler. He, he— I guess he's tweeted this at me 2 days in a row now, and it seems like a Berenstein Bears situation. He said, need help finding an ESPN commercial with SVP. My friends and I have quoted this commercial for years, 10 to 15, and have never been able to find it. It's with SVP, and we think a New York Giants wide receiver and it ends with the wide receiver screaming mama in a puddle on the field. I've reached everywhere and can't find it. Can you please ask SVP to release the files on Sunday? Thank you in advance. Is this a real thing?

No, this person is in the middle of like a fever dream.

That's what I can't figure.

Mama?

I don't know.

Is that a commercial, just not a Scott Van Pelt commercial?

I just saw it. I was like, I have to ask Scott now. I got to help this guy out. Might— like, he might be going insane. And we're on day 2, thankfully we caught it early. But if we went like an entire full year till next year and it's like, hey, I'm looking for this commercial that doesn't exist— so you're saying you never did a, uh, a commercial with the Giants wide receiver?

No. I mean, I just— I mean, I—

no.

And I did a lot of them. And I mean, I remember I did 6 O'Clock Is Dinner Time when like— that was way back in the day. But a Giants wide receiver that yelled mama?

In a puddle on the field.

I'm really sorry, uh, this doesn't ring a bell of any kind. Yeah, um, I wish I could help. I wish I had— yeah, we— and here's the thing, I got nothing. I'm sorry.

All right, they're looking for another This Is SportsCenter commercial. I think we've got the start of a good one.

Yeah, yeah, it's—

yeah, no, it sounds like a hell of a script we're working with here. Um, can I just mention one thing? If I just want to say to all of the folks, all the AWLs, that screamed Big Texas at me this week. It's my own version of being Max Hall with spicy meatball. It has reached a level that you cannot comprehend. It's all I heard for a week. It's like Big Texas. It's incredible. And I want you all to see something. All right. Yeah, we've had some bad luck. Oh, we've had some bad luck, but we, we upped the FBO situation this year. I don't know what I got to do here. Do I hit the camera? That's like a peephole. No, that wasn't it.

All right, so I like how Scott is saying we've had some bad luck with the Big Texas. Uh-oh, there it is! We're back!

We're so bad.

We're so back.

It's F6. And, uh, uh, I'm, I'm gonna have to purchase a Big Texas for the flight, and we're gonna be dining like an absolute king on the way home. But I just want to say, I mean, I kid you not, I wish you all could come here and wander. I mean, well, if they saw you, it would be a different thing because they'd freak out because it's you. But it's— they're just endless. Hey, Sunday night, big cat, PFT, you got a big Texas. And like, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know what to say, but we got the big Texas. I feel like that's a good way for, you know, like some karma to end it, that they're actually— we're back.

That is nice. And you're right, that's, that's like an impossible thing for you to like have a comeback to in a witty way. Like, what are you gonna say if they're like, hey Scott, Big Texas, you do like the nom nom roll? Let's go!

You pretend to eat?

It's not a question, it's a statement, right? It's just, hey Scott, Big Texas!

Yeah, can't wait.

You got to keep one on you.

I'm I mostly say they're— they're— it's— you guys know it's a bit— they're kind of— they're kind of dense, uh, or I'll just say delish and I'll give them like a little chef's kiss. Depends.

Oh, that's a good deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give them— yeah, delish. There you go.

I, I do—

go ahead.

I do like, Scott, that you're like, yeah, we've had some bad luck on the big Texas. And again, like 2 years ago you came on this show and your house was burning down, which I— thankfully you're— everything's okay now. But I, I— does trigger a memory now that, that, you know, on this— but we talk, we keep it all the big Texas, everything's good now.

Yeah, it was, it was literally like 3 years ago that my phone's ringing and the house was burning to the ground and I was searching for a, for a pastry.

Yeah.

And, and then the, and the condiments, uh, whatever the fuck it's called, the, the thing. Yeah. Oh yeah, a little fried at the end of the week. The, what the hell is it called?

Vending machine.

You got Jesus Christ. For the record, uh, I rest my case in front of the jury that, that Scott doesn't have a great memory right now when it comes to paying.

It's a little concerning.

Sir, the client couldn't come up with the name of a vending machine.

I didn't, I didn't get it. I— and, and maybe for all— you know what, maybe what we Maybe I did do a commercial where mama was said, and maybe I'm just— it's full-on, full-blown dementia happening right here for all to see.

You're just gaslighting some poor listener of ours that they were right about the mama commercial.

Yeah, 1000%. It happened. He didn't remember vending machines. I'm pretty sure he didn't. He can't remember what happened a minute ago. Tell Max I'm in. How about that? We'll come. We'll gamble like maniacs.

I love that.

I love that.

Steve's a maybe. As well. And so I think we can push the big guy to come too.

Scott, I got one more question for you, uh, because I, I know, I know every week, every time it's the Masters, there's somebody out there that's like, yeah, I could, I could shoot in the 80s at Augusta. Um, I was thinking about it last week, and I know that I'm like a little bit delusional, but also I don't think I'm that delusional. I think that people are showing like too much reverence for Augusta and talking about it like it's Flanders Field in, in Belgium, and, and thousands of young men go there every year and never come home. Um, I think that if you gave me 10 tries from the tips at Augusta, I could break 110 on 2 of those tries. And I'm, I'm like an 18 handicap, so I'm not good.

So 2 out of 10 times you're breaking 110?

Yeah, that's what I think. I think that my drop-dead score, like, if I, if I shoot higher than 130, you can kill me.

From the, from the championship tees that they played today?

Yep.

Yes. Yep.

From the tips. Am I in? Is that an insane thing?

You're playing, you're playing stroke play golf. You're, you're counting every shot.

Ball and cup.

You have no chance of doing that.

All right, all right. What did you shoot, Scott?

I broke 100.

That's pretty good.

But I played, but it was, but it was, it was not championship tees. You play the member tees here. They, you're not backing it all the way up because no disrespect to you or me, like we're not these guys. It's, it's so difficult. And if you're out of position, you're going to make big numbers. One, I mean, if you put it this way, no joke, being totally serious, PFT, you said, you know what, I'm just going to try to hit 7-irons. I'm going to try to hit 3 7-irons, get on the green, 2 putts. Oh, I try to make bogeys. Okay, maybe if that's your plan. Um, but I'm telling you, it's— you're going to make big numbers, and before you know it, you're like, oh, I'm in— I, I'm really in trouble here, and I'm— I don't think it's possible.

So I, I would play it in a way to try to like— yeah, try to hit those numbers. I would have to get a 7 on every par 3. Well, if I were to add 53, let's see. I'm trying to think what I'd need to average, uh, per hole. But basically I would try to play it so that I could break 110, and then if I'm breaking 130, then I have to basically average an 8. I got— I have to average a snowman on every hole.

The problem is, is you're gonna end up— you're gonna make double digits on a hole. I mean, I mean, Fred Couples made a 9, and my McIntyre made a 9 in a hole, and you know, they're them.

Yeah, but I'm different.

You forgot about him. Why? Exactly. Like, hey, hey, hey, here's some, here's some mushrooms if you want.

Yeah, because like, tell me when you—

by the way, that, that was the ultimate like, uh, morning scaries. When I woke up, I was like, I was so not cool about offering Scott mushrooms last night.

It's fine, everything's good, everything's good. That was— hey, look, that was the same night I I played blackjack with Chris Long and he had ace-five and he said, I'm safe. There were a lot of people that were— there are a lot of people that were not necessarily of their right mind. I mean, ace-five, safe. Safe.

I'm safe.

Yeah, it's important to be safe. It's important to be safe.

Last follow-up question. So like, when you play Augusta, because the thing that I, I, I backed my guy PFT because I want to believe in him, but I, I would say that there's probably a chance that those greens are nothing like anything we've ever seen, where it's like you think you hit one 2 feet away and it just keeps rolling? Is that fair to say?

Right. Yes, I will say this: I didn't 3-putt when I played here, which was a bit shocking. But the problem for me was— and I'm not gonna do the single worst thing that people do in golf, where they take you shot by shot through the round— that guy sucks. Oh, hey, I'm on 7, I hit a little butter cut and I was stuck in the rough, and I saw I hit a 7-iron fired. I thought I got there, but I'm in the bunker.

Hey, it's on the edge of the seat, by the way.

Yeah, yeah, please kill me. Uh, I, I— but I was constantly on in 3, so I'm 2-putting for bogey, but I'd never 3-putted. They're, they're— I mean, they're really fast, but the, the main thing is you just end up in places where there's nothing you can do. Yeah, you have to be so— you, you can't putt really aggressively towards the hole because you'll be gone. So I I mean, listen, if you— if your only goal was to break 110, but twice, twice in 10 times, it's just— it's so much harder than you think. That's, that's all I could say is it's so much harder than you think.

I, I speak of Augusta with reverence. I do. I, I respect Augusta National Golf Course, um, but I think it's gotten too far now where, where people are doing tricks on it. People are like, you wouldn't break 150.

All right, I know some people down here. I'm gonna see, see if we can, you know, broker it. They're probably not going to let you go. Like, it probably can't be content, but maybe we I can get you down here on the low and see if we make that happen. I mean, I mean, I have to get, I have to get on a plane.

Yeah, you gotta get on a plane. You gotta get on a plane. Scott, you're the best.

Love you, Scott.

Uh, thank you for doing this. The big Texas sign-off.

And we'll see you in Vegas.

We'll see you in Vegas. Uh, we can't wait. Bring your sticks. We're gonna play on Sunday. We gotta, we got, we got a bunch of tee times.

All right. Hey, Max, you're the best. Good luck. V for Villanova on the way out for my guy. How about that?

Best of luck to Maryland. All right. See you, Scott.

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Okay, let's wrap up the show. By the way, we have the full bracket set now. I know we didn't talk about the West. Okay, season in the, uh, Western Conference Finals. So I don't know what the— I don't really know what Denver was doing tonight because they won the game against the Spurs and they're the 3 seed, I believe.

Is that right?

Let's see the, the actual setup. They are Denver. Yeah, they're the 3 seed and they're playing the Timberwolves, but now then they would potentially have to play the Spurs. I don't know, it's going to be hard anyway. It's— I think the winner was OKC tonight because Denver, if they had lost tonight, they could have gone down to 4.

Yeah.

And then the, the Thunder would have maybe had to play Denver in the second round. Now the Thunder don't have to meet— have to worry about the Nuggets or Spurs until the Western Conference Finals. Final.

You don't have to worry about anything.

Yeah, second round Spurs-Nuggets would be awesome, but I'm not gonna doubt— I'm not gonna— I'm not gonna count out the Timberwolves because I feel like that happens every year.

Could second round, uh, OKC-Houston be interesting?

I think OKC would have, uh, would make light work of that. I think they're better than the Rockets, but yeah.

Yeah, well, they're definitely better. Yeah, I said it would be interesting.

Yeah, it be. Or possibly, I can't wait for the Lakers to lose to the Rockets in 5 games and everyone be like, man, that was the, that was the best 5-game series we've ever seen.

It's going to be tough for them to do that if they don't have like 2 of their best players.

LeBron, LeBron versus KD though will be fun. Nuggets-Timberwolves, that there's like real, you know, history there the last couple years. And then the Thunders and Spurs will beat whoever comes out of the playing game. Western Conference play. I mean, Spurs, Spurs-Nuggets second round would be awesome. Yeah, awesome. And I feel like they're— because Wemby, they didn't play when— like, they— he played a lot of games, but they didn't— they had him on a minute restriction, and they're gonna let him go, you know.

And he might— this might be the point of no return for basketball with Wemby. It's like, what do we do to stop this?

Yeah, what Where are we going from here?

This might just be like a look into the future. Like the next 10 years of our lives will be this Wemby that we get in these playoffs.

Yeah, I think there was— I saw a stat that Wemby is eligible for all of the awards. He had a 65-game, but like Luka is not. And Wemby played, I think, like 300 minutes less because they just— I mean, it was smart by the Spurs.

Yep.

Why, why, why? Like, get him ready for the playoffs. NBA regular season makes— it's just a problem. Okay, we ready for anything else? Ready for numbers? 3, Knicks 3 seed.

2, Celtics 2 seed. 7, Sixers 7 seed.

There you go.

Okay, 6, 24, 78, 23, 45, 45, the percentage that the Capitals have to make. I actually looked that up. In my personal estimation, well, in my personal—

I took Michael Jordan numbers.

That was cool.

Yeah, shout out. 23-45.

12. 51. Anyone?

One more.

There is a 10% chance we get it every time.

I know, but we never do.

Only one person has gotten this year. You have not. Uh, no, no, you said no. I have gotten the lottery ball this year.

No, you have not.

What do you mean?

It didn't count.

No, 3 popped up.

That was this year. It didn't count. Count.

It did.

The drawing didn't count. You said that it did not count.

No, that was the— that was for this machine.

Wrong.

86.

Nope.

86. I won on that other machine this year. Oh yeah, that's— oh yeah, and nobody else has won this year.

Uh, happy birthday to Brandon Walker, the second best player on the Experts on the Dozen. Um, Dan Campbell, happy birthday to Dan Campbell, recurring guest, part of my and happy birthday to Bill Crosby Merritt.

Nice.

Love you guys.

You nailed it. Didn't leave anyone out.

I don't think so.

No one.

Probably. Memes, who did I leave out? Thomas Jefferson. Oh, fuck him. He was a fraud. Fraud. Fraud. Absolute fraud. Tell me, why did your university lose its one seed, bitch? Bad guy. Is Thomas Jefferson named after—

James Madison University is named after Thomas Jefferson.

Bye, Tom. Had a lot of fun reading notes on the state of Virginia, asshole. Love you guys.