Transcript of NFL Week 6 Picks And Preview, Mike Florio Talking NFL, Broncos Win Despite Bo Nix, Brewers To The World Series Plus Fyre Fest

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Trust no one and accuse everyone in Who's the Bad Guy, the official Barstool Sports social deduction game from the brilliant mind of Nick Toraini. In what's quickly becoming the most popular new party game around, players are secretly assigned unique roles with the good guys trying to expose the bad guys and the bad guys doing everything they can to stay Stay hidden. Each game unfolds under alternating day and night phases with roles like the cool chick, the shy guy, the gambler, El Presidente, the mentalist, the planner, the funny guy, and more. Every round is unpredictable, chaotic, and ridiculously fun. Who's the Bad Guy is great for parties, pre-games, family gatherings, or groups who just love deception-based games. Game night will never be the same. Shop now on walmart.com. On today's Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings, it's NFL Week 6 and we've got our good friend Mike Florio on the show celebrating a very big anniversary coming up November 1st. Good time chatting with him. We're going to go through every game. We're also going to talk about Thursday Night Football.

We saw some pretty bad quarterback play. Playoff baseball. Firefest of the week, our picks, Jerry's Fantasy Minute, and also college football is ruined. Well, they're just trying to ruin it more than they already have tried to ruin it. So we'll talk about that as well. It's all brought to you by our friends at Pepsi. No game day spread is complete without the great taste of Pepsi Zero Sugar. You spend all week thinking about the wings, nachos, or burgers that you're going to dig into at kickoff. But are you pairing it with the right drink? I'm pairing my Pepsi. I did it actually tonight. We're going to talk about this. This is an out-of-order comment, but guess what I had for dinner tonight?

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Hey.

Football guy, Martino, AWM. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, October 6th, And for the first time since 1982, the Milwaukee Brewers are on to the World Series. I thought we'd probably have to start with that. A sweep of the Los Angeles Dodgers, a shit-kicking. Although the Brewers, they're so good that they, they trailed in every single game.

Yeah.

And basically scored all their runs the 5th inning on. They're, they're, they're the best team in baseball all year. And they proved it and they absolutely decimated the Dodgers. They were down 4-nothing. They're like, Shohei finally did something and the Dodgers just keep chipping away. I mean, the Brewers keep chipping away and they're going back to the World Series for the first time in what, how many years is that? 43 years? Is that it? Holy shit. That's a long time. But yeah, congrats to the Brewers. I don't like the Brewers, but I have to respect them because they play Such good baseball. And I would say the, the, the, the biggest moments in the— did they name an MVP? I didn't even see, uh, of the series. The biggest moment, or the MVP should go to Jake Bauer because Jake Bauer had 2 at-bats in this series that broke the Dodgers' will. He is, he's the MVP. Okay, the at-bat against Yamamoto in Game 2 when he went 12 pitches, basically chased him after 2 and a third. And then the at-bat on Wednesday night against Blake Snell, who had been pitching his balls off, was at like 9 strikeouts.

He grew— he just completely ground— like grinded him. 11 pitches, hits a go-ahead home run. That guy was nails. He was everything the Brewers are. They just get clutch hits and they're so disciplined and great at the plate.

So the Brewers, I think Most people that are unaffiliated in a rivalry against the Brewers are probably rooting really hard against the Dodgers in this series. I think it's awesome for baseball. I think it's great. It was great to see them get swept. And the Brewers are everything that I think most people say that they want in a baseball team now.

Yeah.

Because the knock against the direction baseball has been going for the last 10 years is you strike out, you hit home runs. And that's, that's the way that you do it. With the Brewers, they knew that they're not going to be able to compete to get like the top name power hitting free agents. So, what the Brewers did was they threw all their money into analytics.

Mm-hmm.

So, like, they saw where does your dollar go furthest? And it's not like they were doing the Moneyball thing where they're like, oh, let's get guys that get on base. They actually decided there's no salary cap in terms of how many nerds that we can hire.

Mm-hmm.

So, they hired all the smart guys, as many smart guys as you can. They were like scouring blogs to figure out, okay, who is next-level thinkers when it comes to finding some advantages that we can get? And they spent all their money figuring out where we can, where we can get these little advantages. They're one of the only teams that, that coaches intentionally hitting opposite field singles.

Yeah.

Opposite field doubles. Yeah.

No, they let the ball travel through the, through the zone further. They hit opposite field. I mean, their pitching is— their bullpen is just absolutely insane. They just do it all. They do it all. I'm happy for Christian Yelich, who's been a friend of ours for almost a decade now. Uh, maybe me saying I'm happy for him, he'll take off the bet and never compete in the Home Run Derby. But I am happy for him because he's been a really, really good baseball player for a really long time. He's the first captain in Brewers history. They're going back to the World Series after all these years. And it also was a reverse sweep, which is— by the way, how is Mark Walter gonna have the worst Friday morning wake-up of all time?

Oh, I hope so.

I mean, he's, he's under investigation. He owes like billions of dollars. His only saving grace was that he could just win a World Series every October, and then he just got swept, decimated. The Dodgers look like they have, like they have major problems with their core in terms of hitting. Yeah, their pitching is still elite, but you had— you got Schuble. He only pitched once in the NLCS. It's crazy.

They had no energy either.

No.

And when you have a team, Hank, you got to say, like the— we all think of Robertson and the Red Sox that led that comeback down 3- nothing against the Yankees. And he was probably— he was the spark that got the entire thing started. But outside of him, the Dodgers don't have a guy that is like a dumbass like Kevin Millar. That's, that's too dumb to know that it's impossible.

Like, it's Kike Hernandez. And he wasn't— he wasn't Kike Hernandez.

He was not. Like, I think it was Tucker hit a double and he did the like little arm wave.

He's, he's a baseball robot. He doesn't— he has no emotion.

The little arm wave. It was, it was the saddest. Like, come on, dude. There's nobody with any juice on that team. And when, when all the stars aren't hitting, it's just kind of a— they don't look like they're having any fun. Like what I saw from Shohei was relief. It wasn't, it wasn't like joy. It wasn't fun.

But Kyle Tucker's never had fun playing baseball.

That might be true.

Yeah.

And I love—

he's just really good at it.

I love Murphy, the manager, calling his team the Woodpeckers. That's what he wants his team to be like. You're out there. I want you to play like a bunch of angry little woodpeckers.

Yeah.

So if it's Brewers and Rays, There's a lot of—

oh no, I— why, why, why don't you pass the guards?

I'm not—

I, I actually think the Guardians might win, but I'm saying if it's the Brewers and the Rays, there's a whole lot of commonalities in those front offices. And they've all kind of like worked together in the past. That would make for a very boring, but also, I guess if you're a nerd, interesting World Series.

Yeah. The other game today, guard ball. They were— Gavin Williams was awesome. They have a rookie, Petey, what's his last name? Halpin?

Yep.

Hits the 2-run home run. A rookie hitting a home run in that big of a moment. The Guards, I, I said it last show, I, I was, I, I was dismissive of the Guards to start the playoffs. Guard ball has made me a believer because those guys, they're scrappy, they do the right things, they have a couple really good pitchers. I mean, Gavin Williams has been an absolute stud this postseason.

guard ball.

And then now they just have to deal with rain. They got to figure out the rain, which I don't know what the schedule is going to be.

They don't know what the schedule is going to be either.

And we're also—

they might, they might be playing by the time you listen to this. They might just say, OK, let's do a breakfast game tomorrow.

We're also going to get an all-time rest versus rust discussion going because the World Series doesn't start till next Friday and the Brewers are the hottest team in baseball. They have just been mowing everyone down. They've been playing incredible baseball and now they have to sit on their ass for a week.

Yep.

To be fair, they've already had to do that.

Not a week.

Yeah.

No. When? Oh, for the—

for during the wildcard.

Sunday to Saturday. That's not the same. I mean, but also they hadn't started yet. But you don't want to lose this momentum.

I'm— yeah, I get it. But I mean, they had, they had the best regular season in baseball. You at least know.

I mean, you could make the argument. I mean, the Padres played them a lot tougher than the Dodgers did.

Oh, for sure.

But I'm— all I'm saying is that they, they at least have a routine that they know how to get back into.

Yes.

I think it would be a little bit different if they've been going this whole time and they're this team on a hot, hot run.

If you have a full week, do you do— are you going to go out there, do simulated games?

Yeah, they'll definitely do some simulated games. I would say there's a little difference about finishing 1-62 and getting a few days off versus being on this heater.

I'm just saying, yeah, they'll be fine. At least that they have—

yeah, look, we're doing it right now. The rest versus rust. This is the discussion that's going to happen.

I would love to see the simulated games.

Oh yeah, they'll do a simulated game. I'm sure they'll play a— they'll play a bunch. They'll do at least like 1 or 2 of them.

They should have like an announcing team. I want to hear— I want them to treat it like it's the real thing. Yeah, like ABS.

But I've been impressed with the Guardians there. Oh, oh, last thing I want to say about the Dodgers, by the way. Because we did— people were commenting about our comments about the Rays. The Dodgers didn't even come close to selling out any of their playoff games. It's a joke.

Yeah.

Fatigue.

They didn't.

Max.

There's a caveat there.

What?

What is that?

Is that the stadium holds 20,000 more people.

Okay, I get it.

Okay.

It's also—

How many more—

Much bigger—

Live in Los Angeles?

Yeah, I get it.

And they just won 2 World Series. Like, go out. You should be fucking— yeah, I don't know.

20,000 more fans than the Rays did.

Max, it's very easy what we can do. Just have that exact same animosity towards Los Angeles.

Yeah, we're trying to bash the Dodgers here, dude. Come on.

Oh, well, I just had— I've been having Rays fans in my fucking mentions for—

So get them switched to Dodgers fans.

All Zach Burners.

All I'm saying is one's in Los Angeles, one's in St. Pete.

Yeah, right. Think about— there was one guy.

It also was tough to get You— it's the same argument. Yeah, it's impossible to get to the Dodger Stadium as well.

Someone started—

somehow they figure it out, though. Like, I've seen Dodger Stadium jam-packed.

We've been there. Actually, really cool stadium.

We—

I had one guy try to, like, mansplain St. Pete and Tampa to me, and I was just like, I'm out of this. I can't do this. I don't— I don't actually care enough about where these places are located. I mean, no offense, Zach.

The reality is, like, no taking. If your team's in the World Series, you should be able to fill your stadium.

Yeah, I agree.

Regardless, I understand that traffic sucks and the stadium's not great and it's pretty much like a putt-putt course in a baseball field.

Well, how many people went to the Rays game?

31,000.

Oh, so it wasn't that— it wasn't 20,000.

18,000. It was 40,000.

41,000 went to the Dodgers game. They hold 51,000.

Got it.

So they were 10,000 off.

10,000.

I don't know. We just got to be fair and balanced. The Dodgers should sell out their playoff games. That's not a hot take. I agree.

I agree.

I think that— I think we can all agree on that.

Given the star power that they have.

Yeah.

Like, it shouldn't be close. There should be people flying in from out of town. If you're a Dodgers fan anywhere on the West Coast, it's like, yeah, let's go see the Dodgers in the playoffs.

If the Guardians play tomorrow afternoon, that might be like a historically low attendance.

Why?

They were packed today. They played at noon.

Friday afternoon?

They had the lowest attendance record in ALCS history.

Okay.

But you don't think they have the smallest stadium?

Yeah.

But you don't think that like— and they also go to a baseball game on a Friday afternoon.

I know.

It's just the scheduling of it. The fact that you're waking up in the morning and you don't know when the game is is tough for scheduling.

I know what we need. We need the mayor of Cleveland needs to step in and do one of those things where he just— he gives everybody the day off work. May I say, like Cleveland, You don't have to go to work tomorrow because we don't know what time the ballgame is going to be. So we need everybody to be like a Minuteman. You guys have to be ready to go within like a 2-hour notice. So no work tomorrow. I'm going to do it. Cleveland, no work tomorrow.

Can I say enjoy baseball? I, I started this conversation just because I thought we could all just bash the Dodgers there for a second. And Dodgers fans, I didn't come to this with any type of facts. So when we start throwing facts around, I'm out.

There are some numbers.

I don't— I don't know any of them.

I didn't know what the numbers meant. All I know is Los Angeles, bad sports town.

I'm getting killed with numbers. I don't know the numbers.

I think we all got attacked equally yesterday.

Yeah, I got smoked.

Everyone's defensive. Not as bad.

I mean, we have a take.

Race fans. Race fans are a joke.

It's the average— yeah.

Don't, don't back down.

I mean, they were, they were the They were the best team in the AL. They averaged like 11,000 fans a game. That's a, that's a joke.

Go after those racists.

People also forget the name of this podcast. Okay. Pardon my take.

All right.

Just relax everyone. All right. Let's talk some football. It was a brutal football game.

I don't know.

I, the, the lead I would say is Sam Darnold played awful and he wasn't the worst quarterback on the field. I don't—

yeah, okay. Well, he also had JSN.

Yeah.

As like a security bailout blanket that made— But some amazing catches.

For sure.

Nobody on the Broncos was making.

For sure.

And I'm not, I'm not trying to say that Sam Darnold did— I mean, he cost them the game. That, that pick in— I mean, the, the first pick in the 4th quarter when they were going in, that was bad.

But you're right.

And then the pick in overtime obviously loses them the game. Bo Nix could not move the ball.

They did—

I don't remember the last time the Broncos got a first down. Like they could not move the ball. Bonics, something has happened to him. Maybe it was the injury last year. He can't run anymore. He looks— he doesn't look comfortable. It was a tough one. Credit to the Broncos defensive line. That was the true MVP of the game because their defense won them that game. I don't know what to make of this Broncos offense other than it's a tough watch.

With the defense thing, the great news is they seem to have figured out the tackling issue. Yeah, that seems to be well forgotten in the past.

They sacked Sam Darnold 5 times. They were all up like they had Allen on the interior just bullying people.

Bonito spinning on everyone. Yeah. Bonix. This is Bonix.

He—

they get used to it. This is what Bonix does. He looks awful. And then somehow they end up winning a football game and everyone's like, that Bonix, he's a winner.

I'm not— I'm not saying that after this because I don't know. I mean, he threw 27 passes and had 107 yards.

Yeah, average of 4 yards per completion.

And again, Sam Darnold was bad, but I just, that was one of those games, if you're a Broncos fan, you win, you're happy you won, short week, try to figure it out. But like the Bo Nix problem seems to be getting bigger and bigger where it's like, what is this? What are we watching?

I think Davis Webb needs to take back play calling duty.

Yeah.

But that's what Bo Nix, he did all season last year and he's done it this year too. Like they look terrible and somehow they figure out a way to win.

But he's not doing the good Bo Nix anymore.

But they somehow figure out a way to win and it's like, But that was not—

they didn't win because of Bo Nix at all tonight. No, they could have had anyone else playing quarterback and they would have— like, that was their defense. That's— I just—

it's T-Bo.

At least Bo Nix last year would like be hot for a quarter.

He—

we never saw that.

If quarterbacks were reversed tonight, who wins?

I think, uh, Broncos.

Yeah, I think anyone. I think Drew Lock on the Broncos would have won tonight.

I think— yeah, I mean, Sam Darnold had some Some really bad throws.

Oh no, he was bad. He was really bad. I think that's a problem too, because he has not looked good this season so far. Like, he has not— he's not looked comfortable. He's not had good games, and he's been throwing the ball away too much. And the Seahawks defense has been trying to bail him out but haven't been able to bail him out the same way you would. I mean, like, it's just— what more can you ask for the Seahawks defense? They completely Like, uh, the Broncos yards per play was 2.9. Yeah, 2.9. Like the Seahawks defense, they had— Broncos had 13 first downs total in an overtime game.

We were talking to Matt Hasselbeck on, uh, on WUB this morning, and he was saying that he thinks that— he, he thinks that there's actually something that's very different about, about Sam this year.

Yeah.

And he— his speculation is that he might still be hurt.

I, I would— first, I think that might be fair.

And that he rushed himself back because there's a lot of stuff that looks different in terms of like his mechanics, not just the decision-making and not just him being confused. This was, uh, so Robert Mays tweeted this out. Um, I believe this was around, yeah, about 9:30. So it was before the game was over. Um, Bo Nix, at some point when they were up by 2 scores, he was throwing the ball with an average of 1.2 air yards per completion. That's, that's zero completed passes beyond the sticks.

That's the thing that's so crazy to me is that And yeah, this, the second half for the Broncos, their possessions— punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt. 6 punts and then a kneel to go to overtime. And then when they got the interception, they didn't even get a first down.

Mm-hmm.

They didn't get a first down. Like, it was crazy. But yeah, Sam Darnold, it's a problem. And you can't— like, it just doesn't look the same. That pick was so bad in overtime. was so bad. And yeah, Bo Nix, like, you can tell the, the issue, the thing that would scare you the most if you're a Broncos fan about Bo Nix is not just that Bo Nix has looked bad. It's clear they do not trust him at all. No, because like they don't, they, the, the, the throws that he attempted in the second were all just like behind the line of scrimmage.

What'd you say?

1 point what?

1.2? I don't think that's what he ended with, but it was, it was well into the game. I believe it was maybe the start of the fourth quarter.

Yeah. So it was an ugly game, ugly Thursday Night Football game. But we watched.

We did.

What great uniforms.

Really good matchup.

Incredible.

If it was—

if this was a regular uniform matchup between these 2 teams, like Seahawks normal uniforms, Broncos normal unis, we would be trashing this game so hard.

Oh, we'd be so much angrier.

Goddamn, did it look beautiful. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So we taped the first part of the show, the picks and previews. So 2 things that are maybe a little out of date. The first is Jalen Hurts is out. So Jalen Hurts has a blood clot. Max, thoughts? Concerns?

Everything. Yeah, it's really hard to make a judgment on the rest of the season until you figure out exactly what's going on, because it's everything from one week to like not playing football again. Right. So it's hard to give a real outlook on everything until you know everything. But I mean, this week's obviously going to be a struggle.

This is— some things are bigger than sports.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I hope he's— I obviously hope he's okay. I don't know what— there's a lot of people complaining about the international game and the flight and what they knew, what they did. I don't know anything about that. So I don't know anything about the the process of how everything went. And I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna comment on it because I don't know.

That's smart. All I know is that people do get clots on long flights sometimes. That's why they tell people, especially if you're old, get up, walk around on a plane. But also, they said that this happened, like he hurt his calf in practice. But yeah, but then we don't know.

Yeah, then I don't know. I don't know. I don't know anything. I don't know anything about, about shit. So I'm not going to comment on that. The only thing I'll comment on is that it's going to be a tough football game this weekend.

Tanner McKee.

Tanner McKee, Damien Pierce.

We're doing McKee bumps?

I guess.

What?

Yeah.

I mean, it's going to, it's going to be a struggle, but Sirianni has gotten the guys. The defense should still be strong. The defense still should be mostly healthy.

And I—

they're, they're playing insane right now. Tanner McKee can scrap together a little bit. I mean, the spread's only 3.5, which I think is kind of crazy given where the Eagles are at health-wise right now.

Somebody needs to show him that tweet from the Hurricanes.

Mm-hmm.

Sure.

You know, like DraftKings.

Yeah.

You got frustrated.

Yeah.

You were upset at the Hurricanes.

This is the Hurricanes revenge game.

Carolina Hurricanes.

Yeah, I'm familiar with the tweet.

Okay.

Okay.

You were fired up about it the other day.

Yeah, I'm familiar with the tweet. I don't know what you want me to say. The Flyers still haven't won a game.

Yeah.

What if Tanner McKee just balls out?

I hope he does. I hope he does.

I hope he does too.

Yeah. Say the thing to him.

I think the Eagles can still win this division.

I want to see what the line is.

It's like when we have the Joe Flacco elite debate. Some guy says, is Joe Flacco elite? The other guy says, he won a Super Bowl. Every time I say the Eagles can win the division, Max, first thing, let's, let's look at the odds.

Let's look at the odds.

They have jumped— they have plummeted significantly since the Jalen Hurts thing.

But they could still do it.

They could still do it. What are they?

Plus 320, still significantly ahead of the Commanders, which is crazy.

Well, that seemed like unnecessary.

Well, you're— everything you say is unnecessary.

We weren't talking about the Commanders right now.

We weren't talking about who's going to win the division.

We're talking football and the Eagles.

Yeah, we're talking football. Yeah, we're talking NFC East. If you want to talk about—

Big Cat told me to say the line. If you want to talk about the division, I can talk about the division. Big Cat pulled my string.

Tickle me Elmo.

Yeah.

I don't know what you want me to say. If you want to talk about the division, we can talk about the division.

You want to talk about the division?

Yeah.

We can talk. I think as bad as they look, the Eagles could still possibly win.

Yeah, you like that?

I wouldn't count them out yet.

Yeah, I'm not counting them out either. I'm not counting them out this weekend.

There you go, little guy.

You're the little guy. You're the little guy. I'm big fella.

You're big.

You're up big. You could still win the biggest, littlest big guy.

You little small.

No, you're, you're a little big guy. You're, you're cute little big guy.

No, cute little big guy. It is honestly a compliment. Itty bitty big boy. I think cute little big guy is a compliment.

Yeah, that is.

Yeah.

Sure.

What's the little part though?

Yeah, I'm a little guy.

Yeah. Itty bitty big boy.

You're a child. You wear jerseys with your name on it every day. That's literally what children do.

I don't remember the last time before today that I wore a jersey with my, with my name on it.

Oh, yeah. Just a reminder, this all started— he was trying to pump you up.

None of those Wizards jerseys have your name on it.

Soccer jersey. He definitely has a US soccer jersey with your name on it.

No, I don't.

Yeah, we all do.

Yeah.

Oh, we had to put them on for like something. I've never worn it.

No, we didn't have to put it on.

Oh, I've never worn it.

Definitely didn't.

I don't think I ever put it on.

All right. The other one was a gift.

This jersey was a gift, Max.

Caleb had his press conference after we recorded. Caleb's definitely going to play on Sunday, it feels like. And he's pissed off, which I fucking love. He was— he, he had a tear. So he definitely had at least a grade 2 because he said he had a tear, which is, I think, a grade 2 or grade 1 tear. Okay. Well, he had a significant injury.

He's been out 3 weeks.

He was pissed and I love it. He said, I think the quote was like, there's been a lot of people. What was the exact quote? So there are a lot of people.

Why wouldn't he disclose what grade it was?

Why does he have to?

It's HIPAA, dude.

I mean, if it's— if he's back in 3 weeks, it was probably a grade 1.

Mike, what could be grade 2? Absolutely.

Only he could have cleared it up when he was given the chance.

Oh, okay.

You're going to—

you sound like the people he's talking about. He said, my character has been attacked for a while, so it's just another motivating factor when I get out there and go and get going again. You're attacking his character.

I'm not attacking his character at all.

You have been.

I'm just curious if I, if I was in here on the list, this is my injury.

You're on the list.

Sure.

I'm putting you on the list.

Great.

Hate week next week. Yeah.

You're on the list. You're on the list.

Okay.

And then the final story.

I think he's maddest at— there's got to be one guy that he—

It's probably Rapport and Schefter who just like announced that he was, you know, week to week before anything, before the team said anything.

I have a question.

That's when it all started. Was they— that is bullshit. Yeah. Tom Pelissero said he's like week to week before anything else was reported.

And then the memes came and none of this would have happened if they were like, yeah, he's out. He's out for 3 to 4, 4 to 5 weeks. None of that would have happened. Right.

However, didn't Ben Johnson say he might play the week after he got hurt?

Yeah. He's doing gamesmanship. He's trying to keep everyone, keep everyone on their toes.

OK, but that was also in the middle of the shit.

Well, yeah, it was after the Pelissaro tweet.

That's right. Ben Johnson did Caleb no favors. No, no, no.

But I think he probably was like, I want to try to— I'm not going to tell anyone my depth chart.

Yeah, but probably fuck up with your— fuck up your quarterback's head a little bit.

I don't think it's motivating. He's got a chip on his shoulder. Yeah, you should get— if you had a chip on your shoulder, you'd eat it.

He was thrown out.

He's like, thrown out.

Sad retweets and No, wait, wait, wait. He was—

what sad retweets are we talking about?

He was retweeting that fucking disgusting pig, Dave Portnoy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was, that was bad.

Oh, OK. And then last story, the NCAA football, college football is ruined yet again for the like 70th time. So it's not, it's not like this is the death sentence. This is just yet another thing that they've done to make more money and be like, fuck you, fans, we're moving to a 24-team playoff.

I—

listen, it just sucks. We don't need 24 teams. We don't. 12 is probably a stretch already. And what one of the best parts of college football, what made college football special, was the regular season mattered so much. And I was fine with the 12 because it still did matter because you still had good teams playing big games.

Mm-hmm.

Think about a Texas last year that got left out where it's like that was a significant game against Ohio State.

Yeah.

Now we're going to have games where it's like you can take 2, 3, like Oregon right now would be very much alive.

Yeah.

And it's like, what does it matter if you lose 2 games, 3 games, 4 games? You can still be in the playoff. I don't know. I agree.

I agree. That's why I'm only going to count the 12 playoff. That, that was the real playoff. If you didn't make it then, not a real playoff bid. If you're in the 24 Mickey Mouse. Yeah, not, not the same at all. I think that this is just going to— if we think that it's ruined right now, they can always find a way to make it worse.

Yeah.

And they will. So, yeah, it's a money play. The conference championship games, are they all going to cease to exist?

They have to. Every one. If they don't, that's the dumbest thing ever, because I don't know where— like, are we going to be playing college football in February? That makes no sense. We're already pretty close.

Yeah, I don't see how they how they matter.

Yeah, the only silver lining, which is not going to happen, but I'll throw it out there as maybe a plea. I mean, I— it's not going to happen, but if the games, the regular season doesn't matter, if you could take 3 or 4 losses and still make the playoffs, the non-conference schedule should be better. They should— the, the Big Ten should mandate— because the Big Ten was the, the conference that led the charge on this— the Big Ten should mandate every single one of their teams to have to play 2 Power 4 teams in September. They should do a Big Ten-SEC—

That's what I was gonna say. They should do the college basketball Big Ten-SEC Challenge.

Wherever you finished last year, that's who you play. That would be great because like, that's the only— we are getting to a point where it's like the, the September games just suck and it doesn't feel like there's any. So that would be the only, the only silver lining. I don't think it's gonna happen in any world.

That sounds like Ideally for a fan. No, it's not going to happen for somebody that likes to watch the games on TV. That is incredible. But what would the motivation be?

Well, the coaches, there would—

why would you want to schedule a good team?

Yeah. I mean, I guess it would be better for TV and like, you know, ticket sales. I don't know. I mean, I would assume you, you could sell out a major opponent versus selling out, you know, when you bring in a MAC team to beat the fuck out of them. But it's not going to happen. It should happen because taking a loss in September now is even more like irrelevant.

Yeah, it's fine. Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, the problem is then now the argument would be like, well, we're trying to get the bye so we can't take a loss. And so it fucking sucks.

Yeah.

This is a— it's a money play. And the, the powers that be, they understand that the money is not necessarily in keeping diehard college football fans very happy with the product at all times. It's in marketing it to the biggest audience possible and watering it down to the point where they get the most eyeballs, more money for commercials, TV rights deals. And that's, that's how it's done. It's like, you know, no different than the NFL trying to expand outside of the United States.

Yep.

College football is trying to get the audience that they don't have yet, the low-hanging fruit. And the easiest way for them to do that is they, they understand that America, we like to look at a bracket. So they're going to give us a bigger bracket to look at. It's the ongoing Savannah bananification of sports in America.

Yep.

And it's a sad day.

Yep. And it's a reminder that we're going to 76 teams in the tournament this year.

I forgot about that. 76.

Yeah.

And it's, it's the same. It's the exact same argument. When the 76 was announced, it's like, hey, if the, if the next 8 teams are going to be, you know, little, you know, Indiana State and, and, and like Sam, Sam Houston and like all, like all these small schools, Cal Poly. Great. But no, it's not. It's going to be 17-16 Minnesota and 8-9 in the ACC play NC State. That's what's going to be.

No, they'll figure out a way to fuck NC State.

Yeah. By the way, Ryan Fitzpatrick, we should mention this. He went after the, after the game on the postgame. He said Bo Nix is not playing competitively. It's almost disrespectful to the quarterback position. how he's playing football.

Disrespectful to the position of quarterback.

I mean, Ryan Fitzpatrick had some stinkers.

I don't think he ever had stinkers like this.

You fucking hate our friends.

When Ryan Fitzpatrick had a stinker, Hank, I'm just kidding.

I don't care.

The stinker that he would have would be 4 interceptions, no touchdowns.

He's trying. He wouldn't— he, he, his point is Bonix is not even like He's not even playing competitive football.

You think winning games—

you think—

true. That's what I'm saying about boneheads. This is the quintessential bonehead, and it drives people insane. Games where it's like he sucks, somehow they win, and it's like, yep, that's our guy.

Winner.

Winning DNA.

Yeah, he just— he ripped them. And he is right. He is right about the— that run play he referred to. He said he had a chance to make a guy miss.

That—

you remember that run play in, in In overtime when he just basically went down. He doesn't, he doesn't run anymore.

Yeah, he does look like he is, he's shying away from contact a little bit. I noticed he went out of bounds a few times. Yeah. Even when he, all he had to do was kind of stay in bounds a little bit, get rid of the ball, incompletion downfield, and he would, he would just opt to like run away from the defender, get out of bounds and not take any contact. I'm seeing that from Bill Barnwell, his longest completion of the night. Traveled 7.6 yards in the air.

Damn.

That's me to Hank right now. That was, that was the farthest throw. Actually, I'm now coming around on Bonex.

Here, here's another one. That rocks.

Like, like, that's a pretty fun night. You don't have to do shit. You just kind of showed up. Other people carried you across the line.

Here's another one from Steve Palazzolo, who we should have on the show sometime. He's very smart football guy.

Very Italian.

Yeah, very Italian. So Italian that he's like, he's just throwing Z's around that don't even need to be there.

I think he was actually a really good college baseball player.

Yeah.

He said the Broncos gained— how many, how many yards do you think the Broncos— don't show it. Don't show it. How many yards do you think the Broncos gained in their last 10 drives, including penalties?

27.

50.

32. 32 yards in their last 10 drives and they won the football game.

Oh my gosh.

That's insane, man. Again, the story is obviously Sam Darnold threw that game away, but big picture, I would buy the Seahawks as a football team if Sam Darnold can get right with their defense and JSN being so exceptional. Bonics just lost the ability to play football.

Yeah, they need to give— I think it— if Sam's hurt, he should take a couple weeks off. When's the Seahawks bye?

Uh, I think they have the— they have the Chiefs next week, then they have the Bears Monday Night Football, Cardinals, Raiders, then bye. So I mean, those aren't— I mean, the Cardinals and Raiders feels like they should win those games. Bears and Chiefs. I mean, I don't know what the Bears are going to look like in 2 weeks, but Chiefs obviously look really good.

So he doesn't look right. There's something about him.

Bears and Chiefs are at home though.

I will say it's a combination. He might not look fully healthy and also not having a competent run game that he can lean on is definitely getting to him.

Yeah, it's, it was an ugly game. All right. We're going to get to our entire Picks and preview. So when we get to the Eagles portion, the reason why we didn't mention Jalen Hurts is out because we found out after, but we just talked about it.

I think there's a couple injuries too that we—

what other ones?

We said AJ Brown might play. Hank said— I think you said that he's—

Oh, he might play.

Yeah.

Okay.

I saw a report today that he said uncertain on his status.

Manon Guy's out.

Manon Guy's out.

Yeah. Which sucks a lot.

I guess those are the only 2 that I thought of.

There's another news story I saw. Michael Rubin talking about how when he was owner, he broke all the rules.

He said he—

everyone—

that clip is so out of context.

Yeah. I mean, he said when I was owner, I would break all the rules. It's not Big Cat. Yes, Big Cat.

That vile pig Dave Portnoy did point out something that was interesting that I didn't even consider. With the Jalen Hurts injury, which we want Jalen to get better. Is there a LeBron curse going on?

Yeah, I think it's fair to ask.

You just called Dave Portnoy a vile pig.

Well, yeah. What he said about Caleb Williams was disgusting.

So what are you saying about LeBron James?

Disgusting.

No, that doesn't mean— no, by the way, pigs can make good points.

Yeah. That doesn't mean that he's not right.

Caleb Williams is a good point. Yeah.

Do you— wait, are you calling him a vile pig?

No, Big Cat is.

You're calling him a vile pig who's wrong.

Yeah, that's going on. You can also make a good point.

Agreed. Caleb Williams, great point.

No, no. Okay. Okay. But so LeBron, good point.

Caleb Williams, great point.

Would you like to address the LeBron curse?

We got to— we got to see how basketball season turns.

How are the Flyers doing?

I haven't— I already said that the Flyers haven't won a game. You want me to talk about that again?

I'm just— I was reiterating.

November 1st, Villanova plays in Rome.

Would you take LeBron?

I really like Villanova this year.

Would you take LeBron James winning a championship this year if it meant all your other teams sucked for the next decade? No playoffs?

No.

Okay.

That might be what you're dealing with.

LeBron curse.

I, I disagree.

It could— no, you can't disagree with something that could happen.

I will take— I will take this fantasy land.

But you can't— you can't disagree.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a PFT commentator from Barstool Sports, Big Cat. Yeah. LeBron James, he won a championship in Cleveland.

Yes.

It was 2017?

'16.

2016. That's right. 2016 championship for the Cavs. What else has Cleveland won after that?

Nothing.

Nothing.

LeBron was a huge fan.

This is a tough time to be talking about Cleveland.

LeBron was a huge fan of the Angels.

What is Cleveland doing right now, people?

How'd they do?

How are they doing?

They're playing a game today, Max.

What? Wait, what?

It's so stupid because you ask me what Cleveland's doing today.

Yeah, it's getting—

Playing a baseball game. So much smarter to like resist it. And then it's like we get to even the dumber portion, the dumber comments, and he's just like, what the fuck?

I also want to know from Max, what is out of context about Michael Rubin saying we were violating every rule the NBA had? That's a direct quote.

I don't know. I just saw all the comments that this is out of context.

OK. All right. That's fair.

That's fair.

Yeah. OK, point taken. Yeah, I didn't see the—

Also, I'll just say, like, as a blanket rule, you— like, this might even apply to Steve Ballmer too. Like, if you don't win, if you violate rules and don't win, you shouldn't be punished. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? It's like you didn't win anything.

Here's some other questions.

What are we going to punish? We could strip away your second round appearance. You can't do that. The Dodgers are different. Dodgers won. Mark Walter should be punished. See, Ballmer didn't do shit.

Here's, here's some more direct quotes. We're violating every rule the NBA had.

Out of context.

You weren't allowed to take bets on your own team, but I was taking bets on the Sixers. Oh, you can't have me. Well, with Fanatics, you can't have individual contracts with athletes.

I have—

wait, wait.

He said Fanatics Sportsbook didn't exist when he was the owner.

Hold on.

Let him finish.

Well, I'm— I will refute.

When did he sell his stake?

Well before the Fanatics Sportsbook.

But yeah, before.

So yeah.

Okay.

Get your facts straight, little guy.

Well, little boy, you don't have any facts, Max.

You know that one. You came out with one fact and it was a quick—

That was not a fact. You didn't tell me what date. When did you sell it?

Zero facts.

Sure. I'll tell you right now. Let me tell you right now.

Let Matt— let Max think for a second.

Michael Rubin, date of sale of Sixers.

Okay, he completed his divestment in the company that owns the Sixers and the Grizzlies.

In 2022.

And that is the exact same year that Fanatics launched its sportsbook.

That is a lie.

In 2022. Fanatics launched its sports betting business in 2022.

The bit— whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You little big guy.

Yes, he started the business.

Yeah.

Well, he was the owner.

When did it launch?

In 2022.

No, that's when the business— that's when he started the business.

It did not launch in 2022.

Fanatics.

How much you wanna bet? How much you wanna bet?

I'm reading a quote.

How much you wanna bet?

Max, I'm—

How much do you wanna bet?

I'm reading a quote right now that says—

It did not launch in 2022.

Fanatics launched its sports betting business in 2022.

They started the business. You could not bet on Fanatics in 2022.

They launched their sports betting business in 2022. That is a direct quote, Max.

Oh man.

You can't have individual contracts with athletes. I have 3,000 individual contracts—

2023.

Deals with athletes.

2023.

The business was started in 2022.

You could first place a bet on Fanatics during the limited beta testing launch in January of 2023. What you said is that he was betting through Fanatics on Sixers games, which is statistically impossible.

I never said that.

It is impossible what you just said.

I never said that. You're confused because I didn't say that.

The public release wasn't until August 16th, 2023.

I didn't say that. Reuben said that.

No.

He was the one that— The quote. Yes, the quote is, you weren't allowed to take bets on your own team, but I was taking bets on the Sixers. That is a quote from Michael Reuben.

But you said through Fanatics.

I said that Fanatics, they launched—

This is all semantics, bro.

I'm saying that Fanatics launched in 2022.

We're just debating this battle at 11 PM.

It didn't!

The business launched in 2022!

Yeah, but you also are talking about it in a way of launch— in a way of betting on the game. You could not bet on Fanatics in 2022.

I didn't say that. Michael Reuben said I was taking bets on the Sixers.

He said that, not me.

Take it up with Rubin.

I just want to know about the LeBron.

He said you're not allowed to have players invest in your—

It was not in 2022. You cannot bet on Fanatics in 2022.

He said you're—

well, that's—

take it up with Michael Rubin because I mean, it's just fact. He said it, not me.

Uh, he never said he bet whatever. The quote, Max, the fucking quote is you weren't allowed to take bets on your own team.

I was taking bets on the Sixers. Michael Rubin said that. Get mad at him, not at me, you big fucking dumb animal. Wipe the fucking spit off your nose and get your facts straight.

You're the one who's spitting.

You're fucking wrong.

You're the one who's spitting.

You're not making any goddamn sense, you big galoot, you dumb low-backs.

You were just wrong. You were wrong.

Take the oatmeal I made for you, I love you.

You were wrong. You were wrong.

You were wrong.

It's all right. You were wrong. Sometimes you can be wrong.

Sometimes you can be wrong.

It's fine. Sometimes you can be wrong.

The Eagles can still make the playoffs.

All right, let's kick it to ourselves.

Max is a fucking idiot.

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The Pardon My Take Week 6 preview is brought to you by our friends at Reese's. Reese's is the best candy out there. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's.

It—

listen, it's about to be Halloween. It's Reese's season. That's like a— that's just a fact. It is the GOAT candy. It's the number one candy out there. Reese's is the best. I already got a bunch of the candy that we're going to give out. My wife bought it. I've just been going through the bag and just taking all the Reese's. I'll just hand up.

I admit it.

I've just been doing it. The peanut butter cups are the best. They are the number one candy. They're the Kansas City Chiefs right now, or the 49ers if you're talking NFC, of candy. Reese's is the best candy out there. It's the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Go get Reese's wherever you shop. Week 6 NFL preview. What's up, boys? How we feeling? We've got 4 byes this week. Bengals, Lions, Dolphins, Vikings. Yep. How are we feeling?

Great opportunity to compete this week.

Yes.

Feeling good. Feeling good about it.

And you're in your Brewers jersey.

I got the Brewers jersey that I put on. I waited to put this on until they were up 3-nothing. I'm just— I don't want the Dodgers to win. The Brewers are nice enough to give me a customized jersey last year, so I have not worn it. I feel like if I'm ever going to put it on, now is the time.

Now you feel like a big strong man.

Now I feel like 3-nothing against the upstart scrappy underdog Dodgers. Let's go. Yeah.

Wasn't there for game 1, but now he's got it. Yeah. What happens if they lose? Well, I guess we already talked about it.

Burn the tape.

Okay.

Burn the tape.

This is actually awkward.

Awkward if they lost.

I am saying this is serious. This is 100% a front-runner move on my part, putting the jersey on.

If they lose, you'll have the jersey off. We'll record later and the jersey will be nowhere to be found.

Probably.

Yes. But also, like, again, I— the Brewers will tell you I'm partially responsible for this massive turnaround of the franchise.

franchise had in the last 3 years when they've won the most games in baseball.

Yeah, I think they were— I said, I forget what the stat was. They were like 27 and 25. Then Arian and me threw out the first pitch. And since that day—

What year was that?

That was last year. But listen, they were 27 and 25. We threw out the first pitch. Since that pitch, they have been 175 and I think 103.

But they were good the year before that, too.

Yeah, but they weren't good to start the year.

Got it.

That's a—

I mean, 175, and it's a lot of wins, whatever. That's, that's a pretty good record. So yeah, the least, the least I could do is put on a Bruins jersey today.

Uh, okay. I, I'm excited for the bye. Less games that we have to have our eyes on. Less— I, I think 8 games, 9 games in the early slate was always— it was just too much football. Like, and I know that's crazy to say. I'm not saying I want less football. I just want it spread out better because keeping track of 9 games was always tough. I think we actually unfortunately still have, I think, 8 games early because we have 3 games late. Uh, do we want to quickly, before we get into the games—

7 early.

7 early. That's a perfect number. I wish it was 7 and 4. That would be nicer. The late slate, which we'll get to, a lot of pressure because those look like there could be some mismatch games. So gonna be a lot of pressure. on— I'm gonna say the Raiders. The Raiders are gonna be my team that they gotta, they gotta show up and give us a good game.

Otherwise, the afternoon.

Yeah, save the afternoon. Uh, do we have anything to say about Joe Buck and Troy Aikman fighting?

I'm team Buck.

Well, I'm team— I, I don't even think it's— I don't know if they're like beefing. I think it's just an awkward situation that unfortunately they have to deal with.

I'm gonna say if there is a fight, if they are fighting, I'm on team Buck.

I would imagine— I, it's, it's a lame answer to give, and Ryan Glasspiegel, uh, Front Office Sports wrote an article that there was a big fight right before Monday Night Football. Uh, did not notice on the broadcast, by the way. Did not notice at all. Uh, but I would say this is one of those situations where I don't fault either side. Joe Buck is not going to turn down $108 million.

Mm-hmm.

Troy Aikman has every right to be like, dude, this is kind of awkward. You got a new contract.

I'm—

I don't have a new contract. We're calling all these games. So I think as lame as that is to say, both sides have like a fair, what do you want me to do?

I just wonder if there is some—

What are you guys laughing about?

Some movement behind the scenes.

I'm so sick of you not turning on the fucking—

You can't be pocket watching in the booth.

Yes.

Yes. It's tough. Yeah, pocket watch.

Memes is the biggest pocket watcher of all time.

Yeah.

Memes just realized like maybe 2 months ago that PFT and I, after 15 years of doing this, have some money, which we're very appreciative of. And he's been just pocket watching and making us feel uncomfortable for having money. It's a lot of money.

Yeah.

But you like, what do you want us to do?

I think, I think what happened was Memes read the Forbes article and took every word of that as gospel.

Yeah. And so we've been doing this for a long time.

In his mind, he sees us and he doesn't see humans anymore. He sees, he sees like robber barons or just walking big bags like burlap sacks with a dollar sign on it.

Yeah. You guys are just coming and be like, hey, I bought a beach today, got my retractable roof.

It's fucking like that.

Sick.

Tickets on the wood-ish.

Yeah, it makes me—

just so you know, by the way, is completely unnecessary until we— right, they're not on where the tickets are.

Memes, it makes me uncomfortable, just so you know.

I'm sorry for that.

Yeah.

No, no, you're not. It doesn't matter. But it's like pocket watching is an uncomfortable thing, especially when it's like, what do you want me to say, dude? Should we apologize?

All due respect means you could just always grind harder.

Yeah, that's true. I did buy that chair.

Yeah, bought that chair.

There you go. That's an investment. I actually want that inflatable chair. You want to trade?

No, you can't have it.

Okay, whatever.

Trade your pool.

Yeah, I'll give you full access to the pool. I'll give you a pool pass.

But yeah, I don't know.

No one has a pool pass, by the way. You'd be one of one.

That'd be sick.

Membership card. That'd be nice.

Anytime you want.

Gold card.

Gold card to my pool.

That would be so scary if you just woke up in the morning, walked outside, and he's just in your pool.

I'd let Blake run after him.

Blake hates memes.

Blake does hate memes. He tried to kill him when he was like 2 months old.

But yeah, Aikman's probably gone from ESPN. Maybe that comment he made today where he was just like, Yeah, I'm a free agent after this year.

It does feel interesting. Like, who are they? Who would they get to replace him? There's one obvious name, Pat McAfee. And then there's a second other obvious name, Jason Kelce.

No, I thought you were going to say Tony Romo.

Maybe a combination of Jason Kelce and Pat McAfee. Like, they tag each other out by quarter. Or what we could do—

Stephen A.

Stephen A. Now we're talking. How about we just do all of them at once? Just never let them leave the First Take set. and lock him in that room and be like, okay, go guys.

Jon Gruden.

There is Gruden out there.

No, I think Greg Olsen.

I was thinking Greg Olsen. He called a Super Bowl, did a great job calling a Super Bowl. He got demoted only because they got Tom Brady and, you know, they had planned on having Tom Brady for a while and you're not going to turn down the opportunity to have Brady be your A-list broadcaster. But in all honesty, I think Greg Olsen's better at the job than Brady is. Yeah. And I think at some point you don't get a taste for a Super Bowl and then you know, you're not going to be content for the rest of your life being second banana.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's— I, yeah, I agree with that. Craig Olsen definitely has aspirations for getting back to the, to the A booth. It's just weird. It's— I feel bad again for Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. I don't feel bad because they're both getting paid a lot of money, but it is a difficult situation. I don't think Joe Buck, like, would have made sense for him to be like, oh, I'm not signing a contract unless Troy Aikman signs a contract. And Trautman's like, hey, dude, this kind of sucks for me. I don't know my future.

You do.

Yeah. I wonder if, if like Joe had given him a heads up in the past, because I know when they, when they went from Fox to ESPN together. Yeah. It did feel like there was some concurrent negotiating going on.

Right.

And they had an understanding of what the outcome was going to be together. In this instance, maybe the fact that it's not might have rubbed Troy the wrong way. I'll give Troy a compliment, though. As a Cowboys quarterback, I don't actually hate him anymore. He's, he's moved past that where I don't harbor any resentment having a Dallas Cowboys quarterback calling the games as a Commanders Redskins football team fan. So he's, he's good at his job.

He must be pumped to hear this.

Yeah, he's good.

He's going to let out a big exhale.

So it might not be $100 million, Troy, but you get a thumbs up from me.

And there you go.

Honestly priceless.

That's worth way more.

Full pass for Troy too.

Yeah, pool pass for Troy. And Troy, next time you are on Monday Night Football, maybe you go back up to Joe Buck. You're like, $108 million, but did you see this? And just play this clip and be like, PFT said he doesn't hate me anymore.

Money's not everything in this world.

Life is about more than just— it is the tangible things.

Yep.

Sometimes just the 2 thumbs up. Okay, let's get into the games. First up, Hank. Another international game, you fuck.

This one sucks.

Oh, this one sucks.

This is a good game.

Yeah.

Oh, it is. So yes, you should want that.

It's an important divisional game.

Yeah.

Jaguars plus— wait, is it Jaguars or +3?

-2.5.

No.

Yeah, -2.5. Over-under is 42.5. It is a good game and they're playing it in fucking London.

It's unfortunate.

You should like this though.

The divisional games should probably be like, they should probably be able to play like home divisional games at home.

Well, also the Jaguars are just never going to be in Jacksonville ever again because they're getting the stadium renovations. They're going to have to play in Orlando. And so I think these are 2 true, not true, but they're 2 home games for Jacksonville. And I believe in the past they've done one will be a home game, one will be a road game. But because of the renovations and all that stuff, these are both home games that Jacksonville is missing out on. Which sucks if you are a Jaguars fan, but probably rocks for that one Jaguars fan over in England that dresses up in the bowler hat and the ascot.

Yep.

I wonder if anyone's staying with him this week, like Cam, Cam Little. Come on, stay with the, with the creepy guy. I always love the Jaguars, the guys that get dressed up and they look like actual cats.

Yes.

In London and they go to the game. This sucks. It does suck that we're losing a division game to the international circus.

I mean, we have like 7 more of these coming too.

Yeah.

But this, your dream NFL.

I think there's a problem with next week's game, too.

Oh, yeah, because they're protesting in Paris. They're getting upset.

Who?

The price of the baguette has fallen.

So they're protesting the NFL?

No, they're protesting the price of the baguette going down. So now they're like, ooh, we should be scared to go. There's riots in the streets of Paris.

You can't, you can't do anything in Paris.

What do you mean, the baguette?

The price of the baguette has plummeted.

You should know this, bread boy.

Yeah, you're— it's not actually— you're not actually talking about bread.

Max is panicking.

Yeah, no, I was— I was like, they are rioting. I made up the baguette thing.

Got it.

We've got a car— we've got a carb crisis. Well, it's actually a shortage.

Baguette's gone to a cent.

It's actually— it's interesting. Max— Max comes back from Paris and all of a sudden there's a bread shortage. Yeah. Where did it all go?

The baguette is worth so little they're actually using them to start fires.

That sounds good. That sounds like a positive. that you're spending less money on bread?

No, because no one can make money anymore. That's the entire economy is people like in Paris. It's literally just cigarette smokers and baguette eaters and everyone else is just making baguettes for the baguette eaters. Now, there's no—

I wasn't eating enough baguettes. Yeah.

You ate too much.

Yeah.

No, you ran them dry.

Either way, there's, there's riots going on. I think it's like about school systems or I don't know. I don't fucking know. Paris does it. They just do riots pretty well. It's kind of in their history.

It's kind of like, yeah, it's a recreational activity.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's why their sports teams, their owners are afraid to do anything against the fan base.

Yeah.

And I think there will be a riot.

I think they actually like— I think the riots actually get things to change.

Yeah.

Like they do a pretty good job at it.

Well, they're not afraid to wheel out some contraptions that they used to use back in the day. Yeah. Kind of point at them.

Yeah. Overcrowded classrooms. That's okay.

All right. Yeah, sure.

Too many people.

These are all things that we say that we want, right?

Yeah.

I'm pro-education.

Yeah.

Pro.

Well, are you? I'm ready.

I'm very well-educated.

It's true. It is true.

I don't know if a 20% acceptance rate made that number up, but something like that.

Didn't you get in the easy way?

Yeah, I transferred in.

Yeah. Okay.

Still, I got a degree.

I like the Texans in this game. I think they're, they're the desperate team. It's go time. Uh, I know the Jaguars have been there. CJ Stroud's been playing well, and I'm a little worried about the Jaguars offensive line. That's all I'll say.

The, uh, the last 3 seasons Houston has been 16-10-1 against the spread in weeks 5 through 18. Okay, so they— that's when they turn things around. Yeah, and we all know that they start the season slow, but also against the spread They tend to work people after the first 4 weeks. We can close the books on those. I don't know. I think there's something to be said in my mind for the Jaguars staying overseas for an extra week. I don't know if that actually plays out historically based on results. And you have to also include the fact that like the Jaguars have played a lot of games over there. They probably have the travel routine down better than most.

Yep.

But also they played a lot of those games when they were a bad football team. So I don't know if there's like clean data behind it. I just feel like in general, if you stay in England, an extra week ahead of the game, you're probably going to be more locked in than if you just fly over there.

Yeah. Although you probably had some bad breakfast beans. Yeah. Full tomatoes. Tomato. Tomatoes.

Yeah.

Blood pudding. You guys ever have blood pudding? No.

Oh, actually, I have.

Yeah, it's gross, but I kind of like it. I like know it's gross when I'm eating it, but it's tomato soup. No, it's like it looks— it looks disgusting, Hank.

You would hate it. It's like you're showing us blood pudding.

Spicy.

It's this patty sausage kind of—

it's this patty of like kind of sausage, but it's also made with oats.

Yeah, I've had it.

Yeah, it's like a hamburger.

No, it's like an espresso puck.

It looks like dog food.

It does look like sausage.

Yeah. No, but it's not. It has like the grains and shit in it too, right?

I didn't know there was grains in it. I've always just been—

looks pretty good.

I just kind of eat it.

Let's see.

Yeah.

Blood sausage seasoned with mace. I think that's what you're thinking of.

Yeah.

Mace, salt, white peppers, and onions. What is—

what am I— what am I saying? I'd eat it. I eat it like it's meat.

It's not my favorite one, but I But if it's on my— if it's given to me on a plate, I will eat it. I won't go back for more, though.

Is Mase still rapping?

No, he retired.

Oh, he did?

Famously retired super early.

Yeah.

Oh, he's doing— he became a— he became a pastor and now he does a show with Cameron. That's very funny.

My walk-up song in college was Welcome Back.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Mase, I think he walked away like top of the game.

Did he?

Like Barry Sanders.

Did he?

Might have got to him.

Yeah, he went. So he was like, I have to be a pastor now. That tells me that, yeah, there was some— I got to atone for some shit.

Did he get beat up?

Yeah. That crazy story.

What?

Tell us.

Did he?

Obviously, it's, it's a, it's a guy that was like a drug kingpin, like an actual drug kingpin.

You know what his name is?

Running the jail.

Okay.

The kingpin's name, you know what his like legit God-given name is?

Dune?

Chris Christopher Coke.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. But he, he's an actual, like, crazy, crazy drug kingpin. He's been in jail for 25 years. He runs the jail. And then a video came out. So it's like Diddy was going through him to get all the, you know, the hookups, cell phone, like all this luxurious jail stuff. Then a video came out that's like, oh, Diddy's got a phone, he's got all this stuff. And apparently that, like, he got in trouble. Like, he got mad. The kingpin got mad that, like, their spot got blown up because after that video came out, Yeah, yeah. So they got mad and then they— there was a— there's a fight.

So he beat his ass.

He had to get like rushed to urgent care.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah. So he caged his head in.

Caged his head in. Chris Dudas.

Dudas.

He does not look like a guy you want to fuck with.

No.

The stories of like the shit that him and his crew were doing are fucking insane. He's basically like the Pablo Escobar of Jamaica.

So yeah, dude, what are you doing?

He was the inspiration behind like Like the Jamaican fictional version of Scarface.

Yeah. Yeah.

Damn.

Chris Coke.

Okay.

His dad killed Bob Marley. CIA.

For the CIA.

For the CIA?

Yeah.

Okay. Shit. Yeah, I like the Texans.

You think DeMeco Ryans is going to hand back defensive play calling this week and then take it back over again against the Giants?

Smart.

It would be smart for him to do.

You know what? You handle this one. I think you've grown in the last week. You handle the Jaguars. They get beat by the Jaguars and he's like, okay, I have to take it back for twice as long now so you learn your lesson. So I'll handle it against the Giants and the Chargers.

Yeah.

And then it's back to you. You know what, I'll do 3 weeks, so we'll go against the Browns too.

Back and forth. Yeah, back and forth.

You can take back over when we play the Ravens.

Um, okay, let's go to, uh, the regular slate. I'll start Bears-Falcons. Bears -1.5, over-under is 51.5. I am very nervous for this game, boys. Caleb should be back. Need Caleb back. I actually— let me start with this. If it's not Caleb, I'm not nervous for this game. I'm like, we're gonna lose. But I'm nervous for this game regardless because we are not a good defense. Montez Sweat out, uh, Dayo maybe hurt, TJ Edwards hurt.

It's—

Bijan could have a day against the Bears defense.

Yeah, the Bears, um, haven't got the turnovers that they got last year. Is this pretty much like the same type of defense except you just, you turn more of the miscues into turnovers last year? Is that the big difference or is it just like a much worse difference too?

It's, uh, no, I would say it didn't upgrade anything on the defensive line. And, uh, Jalen Johnson is a year older and our big plan, Kobe Bryant, as the safety across from Dannemann got hurt in the preseason. So it's, it's a worse— I think it's a worse defense, probably.

Pinnock's probably going to play. Yeah, he's got tender ribs, which sounds delicious.

So good.

But he is going to try to give it a go, I think, because they saw what happened when Tua went in. Tua should wear a guardian cap at quarterback. Yeah, he should be the first to do it.

He—

no, remember, he famously said he wasn't going to because he just trusts God.

Yeah, but he should.

I don't know, dude.

He should do it.

I feel like God hasn't been helping you out.

I think God's like, I, I sent a guardian cap to help you. Yeah, put it on.

God was like, hey, I gave you— I had the Dolphins sign you for $200 million. You can walk away from this now.

Yeah, I gave you— I gave you a mansion and a nice comfortable bed.

Yeah, go back. You go to Hawaii. Yeah, from Hawaii, dude.

There's a lot of— yeah, there's a lot of options that he should have right now.

Yeah, but I think it's going to be Michael Penix. I'm very nervous about our defense. I just really hope that Caleb's back because I do think that we can— we're just— the Bears are going to have to be a shootout team. We're going to have to be a shootout team. We're going to have to be a roller coaster season type of team where every game it's up and down. I know that. I knew that going in. And we just need Caleb back to be able to successfully do that and not have it be a— we get, we get 30 on our head and we can't respond. And Caleb has changed his— what do you change his picture to? John Wick.

He's John Wick.

Love that. I'm inevitable. And yeah, I'm— I just want to see Caleb back. Need 18 back. Just need, need it, need to see him playing. I'm done with the backups.

Ben Johnson, very, very good coach after a loss.

Yeah.

Usually responds pretty well. This would be huge getting, getting Caleb back, obviously. Do you think that Penix is going to stick around? Is he going to be the starting quarterback in 2027? Because he's playing for that this year, I think. Like, what are they going to do in the offseason? Look at free agency, look at the draft, or are they going to be happy with Penix as their quarterback? Because right now, I think as it stands, I think you, you stick with Penix. It's very early, but right now I think we're making a dial, the Penix dial.

Yeah.

Uh, the Penix is swung to the left.

I think it's, can he stay on the field?

Yeah.

Stay on the field.

Yeah.

He's worth keeping around because you still have him under contract, right? Yeah. Yeah. Also, I just want to say that, uh, Colson Loveland, I think he's gonna have a big game because I'm personally counting last game as he had 10 catches because I watched some of the tape. Tape watcher, no big deal. He was open on so many chances for Tyson Bagent. So I'm just going to count it as 10 catches. So if you— if anyone wants to update their fantasy team, he had 10 catches for 105 yards.

What about Minungai?

Still hurt and week to week. Also, DeAndre Swift still hurt week to week. So that's a problem. Both those things are big time problems. Roschon Johnson, great special teams player. I don't think he can be the one carrying the ball. So need, need one of the guys to be back.

I'm lucky enough to have never experienced turf toe myself. I don't know what it's like going through it. I know it sucks, but is it a day-to-day thing? Like, do you wake up some days and the turf toe feels better than others, or is it just you have to— it's going to hurt for—

I think it's going to hurt. Can he get through it where he doesn't hurt himself even more?

Okay.

We'll see. Injury.

This is— I love watching Calvin Nungai run. Yeah, he's one of my favorite players to watch.

It's a very important piece of of, uh, the Bears offense. This is going to be a big, like, injury report game. See, you know, don't wait till you see who's actually playing in this game, whether it be Swift, Minungai, Penix, Caleb. You got to see the injury report. Okay, next game, uh, Ravens-Browns. Browns +5.5. Speaking of Tua, by the way, did you see the quote, uh, from Marlon Humphrey? He said that as soon as Tua entered the game, Kyle Hamilton knew he was getting an interception. Kyle was like, Tua in the game. It was the most excited I've probably ever seen him. That's bad when the opposing defense is just yelling, Tua in the game, and being like, I'm gonna get one.

Yeah, he's looking at him like a, like a cartoon cat looks at a cartoon bird when it turns into just like a turkey basting in the oven.

Yeah.

Yep. Yeah, that must be a good feeling.

Yeah. Also, Marlon Humphrey said that it's always weird playing in Cleveland. Uh, he said just weird shit happens. It's always just been weird going back to the good weirds. with the Lamar poop game. There's just all types of things that have happened. I like Marlon.

Yeah, weird shit happens in Cleveland. That is, that is a fact. They, the Browns, they, the trap got them.

Oh yeah.

So what is this week? Because they, they did not avoid the trap.

I don't know.

Do we start up? Do we start over at ground zero? I feel like you might have to go back to the start.

I think it's— oh no, I think he has like, Dom has like win 2 of the next 3 or something.

Okay, so there's—

I looked this up earlier this week.

Well, now you have it in front of you, so why are you getting upset?

Just look it up yourself.

Don't let me— I'm allowed to get upset when I want to get upset.

Yeah, but why are you upset about something that you can look—

Because I thought I could remember it. Sometimes you want to do brain exercise.

Who cares if you remember this?

Max is educated.

That's not like a trivia, like, oh, who started in this game? It's the Monk and Revenge.

Prove yourself.

Yeah, no, you didn't. You actually didn't know.

Shut up. The Monk and Revenge, am I right, guys?

Max did not If you let me think, I could have remembered it. You wouldn't let me think. Sometimes you have to think to use your brain.

I don't know if you can have a revenge game if you leave somewhere to become a head coach.

That's why— that's why I remembered it, because it was funny.

You did not remember.

I remember.

You guys gave me no, no time to think. Zero time.

Well, we're doing a podcast. We can't— okay, next time we'll give you— yeah, we'll sit here inside.

There's so many thinking podcasts out there.

Like what? Name one.

Everyone.

Call Her Daddy. They always talk about getting brain.

Yep. Thinking ahead.

Thinking podcasts.

Yep. True crime. They think all the time on there. I can't even name a true—

no, you can't. I can't do any true crime. Wait, no, no, no, no. Hold on.

Go ahead.

Monk and Revenge.

Got it.

No, no, no, no.

I thought about the true crime.

Go ahead.

Take as much time as you need.

I just said I don't know.

No, no, no. Think about it.

I just said I don't know. I said I do know this if you let me think. I just said I don't know any true crime podcasts.

You got to be able to think of one.

The Case. OK, there you go.

Good job. Good job. Good thought.

Yeah.

All right. We got to let— we got to let Max think some more.

Yeah.

I'd be so much smarter if you just let me think.

Monk in Revenge. Prove yourself. Yeah, I don't think it's a revenge if you left get an awesome job.

I think it's— yeah, you are, you know, you left home.

Well, not a job.

All right.

I shouldn't have said—

yeah, yeah.

No, you ran away to join the circus and now the circus is back in your hometown. And so you're like, I wonder if my family's going to come out to see me as a clown.

Mm-hmm.

I kind of like the Browns in this game. I do agree with Marlon Humphrey. Every, every time the Ravens play in Cleveland, it does feel like weird shit happens.

Yeah, I agree with you on this. I think that I like the Browns. It's Baltimore. What, 4.5?

5.5, I think. And Quinshon Judkins might not be playing, I believe, which— that is, that's important. Yeah, 5.5.

5.5. So I love the Browns in that circumstance. Like, yeah, going to Cleveland, division game. Browns will play teams that they're familiar with, very, very tough. I can see the Browns winning outright.

Oh, like that.

I don't think it's going to happen. I want to just make sure to say that. Well, if it's gonna be Snoop, yes, I could definitely see the Browns winning outright. If it's Lamar, probably not.

So what's your final answer?

My final answer—

don't Josh Pate yourself.

My final— yeah, my final answer. A lot of people are saying that this is a game that the Browns could win.

Okay.

A lot of people. The weather shows up from so many people.

Browns.

No, I'm going to— my stance is firm. I am taking the Browns against the spread.

Against the spread.

100%.

Yes.

That's fair.

I'm not taking the Browns money line.

Teams are 0-4 after playing the Jets.

Because you beat them up.

You kick their ass.

I just want everyone to know that.

Okay, that's good. Yeah, something to monitor.

Yeah. So Browns have no chance, but maybe cover.

It's good for the Bears though.

Why?

You play them Thursday— play Patriots Thursday.

Wait, what? The Jets play the Patriots this weekend.

Oh, got it, got it, got it. Bad for us last week because we lost of the Packers.

Yeah.

Yeah. I wish we had— I wish—

yeah. Double-edged sword.

Yeah. It gets you and then it can get someone else. All right, memes. I like it. What are you going to say?

Wrong game stat.

You just started— you just started ripping a stat that wasn't—

it was about Robert Saleh.

Maybe you thought a little bit more, you would have been able to realize it was Robert Saleh.

He did loud breathing.

You know what? Titans.

No, it was from the first game.

Wait, you just, you just tried to give us a stat from 3 games ago?

It was about Robert Saleh. I was thinking Jets.

So you think Robert Saleh still coaches the Jets?

Teams that are facing—

He's not the Jets coach anymore.

Yeah, yeah, let Mac finish the stat.

It is an interesting stat, uh, because it— part of it was when Robert Saleh was the Jets coach. Teams the week after facing Robert Saleh are 16—

Stop, that's getting annoying.

16 and straight up— 16 and 26 straight up. Over the last 5 seasons. So that's the Texans.

Straight up.

I kind of like this. Maybe always be 3 games behind. Well, you get to it and then you talked about, oh, here's my facing the Jets.

And then I just— yeah, if you just sort of think more, I could have got it right.

It's true. I agree. I'm on your side.

I know. Titans +7 against the Colts.

Left side.

Over-under 44.5. Is there any Robert Saleh stats for this?

Which game?

Titans-Colts.

Nope.

He's the coach of the Titans.

I got nothing.

Now, now do the Robert Saleh stat.

This doesn't— this doesn't apply.

Well, no, so we can prepare for next week.

Yes. Between the Jets and now the Titans, teams the week after facing Robert Saleh are 16-26 straight up over the last 5 seasons.

All right. So maybe bet against the Colts next weekend after they're done playing against the Titans. Yeah, yeah, make sure to remember that for next Thursday.

Uh, for the Titans, we're at the point of the season where all the new guys are like, oh man, this— no one prepared me for this. Carnell Tate said on starting 0-5, I ain't ever lose like this in my life. So it's always fun when you get like the guys from the really good college programs, they're like, this isn't what I've been used to at all.

No, it's bad. It's very, very bad. He's, he's Cam Ward is dead last in most statistics. Yep. If you just sort by whatever quarterback angle that you're looking at, it's probably going to be Cam Ward in last place right now. They do have Mitch Trubisky if it's time to make a change.

Robert Saleh said it's not though.

It's not. He said he's sticking with him. But at some point, if you want, there arrives a time where a coach has to kind of save and salvage the team that he has for the guys that will stick around next year. Well, to say like, okay, I'm going to give you guys a chance to look good on film, right?

I, I had a question because I saw the quote because they were asking him about it. And Cam Ward and Robert Saleh said— actually, Hank, go ahead— said making changes is a sign of panic. This is not the time. We're in game 5 of year 1. Are we sure there's year 2?

Hmm.

For Cam?

For everyone.

Yeah. I don't know. I think so.

I think so too. I think there will be. Well, if they don't win a game, maybe not. To be like, they have to have— it's just year 1.

I don't know.

You not always get year 2.

You can show signs of improvement, maybe. Yeah. I mean, it's early. It's early to have the conversation. If everyone quits on you. then I could see that. Yeah.

But also the Titans have made no sense with— I read the whole thing on Wednesday. They're 6-33 since firing Mike Vrabel. It's, it's just a bad, bad, bad scene.

They've lost 11 straight divisional games.

Yeah.

Think about that.

31 teams have completed at least one pass thrown 30-plus yards down the field this season. And then there's the Titans. Yeah, that's good. I think the Colts— this is one of those games the Colts have to beat them and beat them soundly. If you like, it's almost a test game of is the Colts Are the Colts going to be a threat at maybe getting into the playoffs in a crowded AFC? It's like, you got to beat this team and beat the fuck out of them.

Is this, uh, is this the game that Jonathan Taylor finally goes off?

Yeah, he had a good, uh, what was the game? He had a game earlier this season where I think he had 3 touchdowns.

But yeah, the 3 touchdowns. Yeah, but I mean, like, goes off in terms of like a consistent running game. Yeah, because they haven't had that this year.

Yeah, he had the, the game against the Chiefs. He had He had a pretty nice game. He had 2 touchdowns, 134 yards from scrimmage.

Yeah.

So 2 touchdowns and 95 yards against Commanders.

Yeah.

Running at 5 yards a carry.

That's a pretty good game.

He hasn't— he has not— fact or fiction— he has not gone off this year.

I mean, 95 yards, 2 tutties is pretty—

how many 100-yard games does he have this year running the football?

He has 2 games at 95 yards.

Okay, so that sounds like a zero.

Yeah, he does have zero of those. Okay.

And he has another game of 92.

But I mean, it's a guy that he used to be putting up 150, 160 yards.

But you're acting like he's—

I think the Chiefs game would be qualified. The 132 yards from scrimmage with 2 touchdowns would be a pretty damn good game.

But yeah, they need to have a consistent rushing attack is what I'm saying.

This could be the game. Yeah, this could be. Although the Titans defense isn't the worst. That's got to be so hard if you're a Titans defender, just having— ugh, ugh. The Colts, by the way, the Colts actually— I say that like we don't know what the Colts are. We know exactly what the Colts are. Can we just all agree on what the Colts are? They're a team that is, that is, that will finish somewhere around .500 and they will beat all the teams below them and they will lose to every single one of their teams above them.

It's like a grocery stick.

They are exactly a grocery stick.

They're grocery sticks. It separates the worst, the bad teams from the maybe good teams.

They have, the Colts have lost the last 18 of 21 games against teams over .500. They are the grocery stick team of the NFL. If you play the Colts and you lose to the Colts, you are a bad team. If you play the Colts and you beat the Colts, you are a good team.

Mm-hmm.

That's pretty much it. It's how it just goes. So yeah, enjoy the fact that they're the grocery stick team. I think the Titans are a bad team, so I'm going to take the Colts.

Do we think that the Colts are going to get better as the quarterback gets healthier?

No, I think they're going to stay the grocery stick.

Okay.

Exactly the grocery stick, which will keep— well, which kind of teases— hasn't this just been what the Colts have been for the last like 5 years, basically? Since Andrew Luck retired.

Really?

Yeah, probably longer than that.

It's just like exactly what they are.

Yeah.

Okay. Next up, Jets-Patriots. Memes, Hank?

Hate week.

Patriots are -7.5, over-under 43.5, and all of Hank's holes are on the line.

Memes, Hank?

I think the Patriots are going to win by 14.

14.

Christian Gonzalez back. And we're just— we're firing on all cylinders.

Jets defense is not bad.

It's not bad.

The cavalry is not coming back.

Oh no. What happened?

They said week to week.

It's been a month. And that means month to month.

So who's— who's not coming back that you thought was coming back?

Breece Hall, our left guard.

Mitchell.

Omar's back though.

Omar coming.

Can I, can I guess?

Fortunately, it's not going to be a hurricane for memes either.

If it was good weather.

Yeah, just no rain. A little chilly.

Can I gas you up a little bit, memes?

Yeah. Oh yeah.

I found, I found 5 stats out there that the Jets went from bottom 5 in the NFL to top 5 in. From last year to this year.

Let's go.

Opponent points per game. They were 31st last year. Now they're 5th. Pretty good. They went from 29.6 to 19.2. Completion percentage. Last year they were 29th, 60.3%. This year they're 3rd, 69.4%. Last year, sacks per game, 31st with 1.5 sacks per game. This year they're 3rd, 3.4 sacks. They did have 8 sacks last week. Defensive sack rate, 29th last year, 4.8%. This year, 2nd, 9.6%. Pass protection versus expected, they were 28th last year. They were 1st this year. So there you go. Things, some things are turning around.

The defense is, is look better.

Yeah.

The defense is significantly improved.

Yeah.

Now that could be rain, but Still improved.

What? So, Hank, are you even like— you're not even a little bit worried? What would be a score, a score in time that would have you be, oh man, I should be a little concerned?

Down 10 with 7 minutes to go.

Okay. Down 10 with 7 minutes. So even if you were, if you were down 21.5, it wouldn't be a concern?

No.

I feel like any, any, no matter what the setup, down 21.5, still in it. A little concerned.

I have a question.

Yes. LG.

You know, again, that's not, that's not your thing. It's not your thing. Get an original one.

That's for people at home.

It's memes.

Memes.

Yeah, that's my guy.

PFT calls him little guy.

Henry, my question for you, my friend. Do we know what the Patriots are doing with Keeper of the Light? Have they stopped doing that entirely?

I don't think so.

Did we bully them out of— No, absolutely not. Out of doing the Keeper of the Light ceremony?

We might have.

No, last week they had the whole entire 2001 team back.

Yeah, but are they the Keeper of the Light?

Uh, that was a special ceremony, so that might have— like, they might have done that in, in, in lieu of, uh, of it. But no.

Okay, is there no more Keeper of the Light?

No, there absolutely is.

I went on, I went on the website, I didn't see any updates to it, so I guess they've stopped.

Keeper.

I went on the Lighthouse's website yesterday to check this out because I haven't heard any.

They had one on September 20th. OK. And then last week, I think they did the 2001— we won the Super Bowl. So they did a little like, who is this September 20th? Stephen Gilmore.

OK. That is, that is good to know because when I went and I checked it out, I did not see— I don't think that they've been updating the Keeper of the Light. So Hank's face was one of the first pictures that I saw when I looked at the website.

Well, that's just probably like clicks, like they're going with the page views.

Page views.

For sure. Is, is Glenn— is Glenn in retirement? Did he run? Did he tuck his tail and go?

See, look, here's the Keeper of the Light website right here.

Yeah.

And they only have 2025.

Yeah, that's true.

And they haven't put anything on there for 2026, so I don't know what's happening.

Yeah, that's weird. They haven't updated it. Something to watch. Is Glenn— is Glenn done?

I haven't watched any Glenn this week. I think he— he— last I saw on his Twitter account, he was like up in a cabin in northern Wisconsin.

Laying low.

I think there were some people that were kind of harassing him online for some money. And I think, yeah, he— yes, he put out like a big Notes app statement saying that he was, he was hiding.

I've got nothing from Glenn this week.

Nothing from Glenn this week?

Yeah.

Damn.

Almost no cell reception.

Glenn and I normally chat around this time every week. We've had no such chat so far.

Really?

Maybe.

Wait a minute. Give Max some time to think.

Max, you need a second? He's like, I'm gonna think, Max.

Well, I need a second to look.

Yeah.

So look.

Well, first he has to think before he looks.

Look on the phone.

Yeah.

No.

Well, I like to look. I just want to make sure. No, I have nothing from Glenn. That's correct.

Sure.

Well, PFT looks at his phone. I think Garrett Wilson said this is a big game this week. So we'll see how the Jets play in a big game.

Are you— are you going to be in the office?

Potentially.

I think you should be.

Yeah. What do you mean, potentially?

I'm not saying you have to be in the cave for the whole game, but I think if it gets close, you have to be in the cave.

Okay. The international games fucked up my schedule.

Yeah, you have noticed you haven't been in here.

I'm just up all night.

What?

Up all night watching college, wake up just tired.

Skip that one. Just get in here for—

I think you should be in for the jet ski. I want to see— I want to see you and Hank going at it.

Fair.

Yeah.

And if you get to win—

I think people want that too.

Yeah.

What a moment.

Massive surprise.

You literally get to put your— you get every hole. What?

Truth bomb incoming.

Glenn just—

Glenn just—

that was crazy. Crazy coincidence.

Oh my God.

Glenn just By the way, everyone out there thinks that it's me. It's— I don't know who Glenn is.

That was wild, though, how that happened.

Yeah, I might— maybe I know some people that know some people that know Glenn, but I am not Glenn. Yeah, I suspect it's Max.

Agreed.

Okay, Hank, so you're 14, and your official prediction memes?

It depends.

Okay.

What?

Like, if they show up, I mean, historically we'd lose. We're like 18-2 in the past decade in Foxborough. But Drake Maye is capable of playing like absolute dog shit, and you got to figure out a way to make him play like dog shit.

Yeah.

Is AJ Brown playing, Hank? No, he's just practicing.

Yeah.

The Patriots—

Christian Gonzalez is back.

The Patriots doing some bullshit right now.

What are they doing?

They pretty much listed their entire team on the injury report.

report.

So you don't know.

That's not—

that's not like them.

The Patriots.

Yeah, they would have 6 minutes of Glenn. Oh my God, I'm excited.

I'm so excited.

Crazy. We went from having 0 minutes of Glenn to 6, maybe 16 of Glenn.

Buckle up, get some popcorn. Yeah, hell yeah, give me a snack.

Welcome back to another What If Wednesday. I'm aware that it is Friday, but To be candid, you guys are lucky that you're getting a breakdown at all after all the abuse that I've been dealing with online. I was only able to watch the London games, not able to watch any of the 1 o'clock or the 4 PM games. Shout out to all the Glintlemen, I really appreciate each and every one of you, but to the Glintemies, you're on thin ice. You're penguins right now, okay? And I've got my eyes on you, I've got my software tracking all of your IP addresses. My uncle is a lawyer and he is, uh, he's putting everything into a spreadsheet, so you'll be hearing from all of us very shortly. As soon as I get back from my family's cabin in remote northern Wisconsin, I plan on taking full action against you all. And that's a good reminder that if you haven't subscribed, please subscribe. No better time than now. I could really use it. One last administrative note, we do have the golf tournament coming up, so 2 spots available for that. If there's anybody out there you want to call in and say, hey, I'm calling in, uh, it's the Glinernet, Glinpotential, and you can sign up again, $500.

You can make the check out to me. It will go to charity through, um, the various initiatives that we have. So, uh, again, really looking forward. Cool prizes. Always great to hang out with most of you guys. So, as I mentioned, was not able to dig into the daytime games on Sunday, but what I was able to see is kind of a, a new epidemic and it's sweeping across the NFL. I don't know what these coaches are doing, but it's making me scratch my dang head.

Oh no, Glenn, don't scratch your head.

Clock mismanagement is strategy 101. No one's getting a passing grade. Let's kick it across the pond and start with the Jaguars and the Eagles when we dive into the Teach Deep. Take me to the All-22. At halftime, I don't know what Coach Sirianni said to them because—

That was your voice.

They came out and they—

No.

They do every single week, which is precisely dick. Nothing in the third quarter. Absolutely trash football from the Philadelphia Eagles. But they did make it close in the fourth. The Eagles fight back and guess what? They take the lead and they're gonna win the game. There's only 8 seconds left on the clock. Of course they're gonna win the game. Folks, when I hear of Eagles fan, 8 seconds, I'm thinking Max DeLinte went back for another round at the buffet. Heh, heck, he ate thirds and fourths too. But what happened in this scenario was they kicked it deep, they kept it in bounds, and the Jaguars get a big return, and he's still running. Oh wait, you should have let him run just a little bit more. You didn't let him still running quite enough. Nick Sirianni. It's so funny because this clock mismanagement was right in the shadows of the world's largest timepiece, uh, the historic Big Ben. Big Ben's out of his boot, he's looking beautiful. And remember, Big Ben's not the name of the clock, it's actually the name of the bell. Oh no, wait, that's Levion. Hahaha, we like to joke around a little bit on my page.

Reminder that learning can be fun too. And when it comes to the tick tick tick on the watch watch watch, this Siernani doesn't really understand how to manage the little hand. After all, he benched Kaye Pickett. Okay, that's probably enough Eagles jokes. They won't suspect that it's me, Max. Let's move on. Okay, let's kick it to the afternoon games. Um, there— I didn't really see much of the afternoon games, so We can kick it to the nighttime games. Even on Monday night, we saw Sean McVay go out there and absolutely poop his brain when it comes to figuring out how to use that clock as the real 12th man. And frankly, I'm okay with my McVays not getting too obsessed with how timers work. Okay guys, that does it for me. Thanks for stopping by on What If Wednesday. Hope you guys learned something.

Oh, that was good.

Um, just bust your balls, we do have one last segment. I know you guys wanted to hear this one. It's gonna be an unlock, free bonus tier. Hit the free bonus song. This song, by the way, this is gonna be one of the songs that's on my upcoming album release. I think He's coming out around Black Friday.

Oh my God.

A collection of 22-second-long songs called All 22. My name's Glenn, we're grinding tape, it's the All 22. Hey there, Drake, this my page, got some concepts for you. Only rule to bonus content, there is to be no screenshotting, no screen recording. If I catch you screenshotting, you'll be kicked off of my page. I'm gonna say this is the type of content that only Glenn will give you. It is about to be a gut punch of truth. It's about to get real on my page. Let's talk about the end of the Washington Commanders game.

Oh.

If there are any kids around, now might be the time to turn this off. I will be uploading a youngsters-friendly version of this for the Glitter Garters program, only $7.99 a month. This was professional procrastination by the Washington Commanders. And if you follow this page, you know that Jim Daniels is technically the best quarterback in the NFL according to many sabermetric value charts. Here's just a sampling of them that I've come up with and pored over. Uh, you'll see that he is located in the best parts of these graphs. Top to the right, top to the right, top to the right. And since he entered the league, Jayden Daniels has done nothing but be the best 4th quarter quarterback in the entire NFL over and over again. Let's kick it to Sunday. Take it straight to overtime, aka the 5th quarter. All due respect to Jayden. 27-27, Commanders ball. The clock's winding down. And that— the clock is still running! You're Kirk Cousins out there. You're saying, You spike that. Huh, it's easy to say on the TV copy, but if you're true gentlemen, you practice good film discipline and you wait for the All-22 to come out.

Because what have we learned from this All-22? Well, Jayden is not actually responsible for his own actions. You all jumped the gun, and he wasn't even responsible for anything he was doing on the field at that point because he had been soft benched. What do I mean by that? Well, you better buckle up, Prickles.

That's his cat.

it in Indy, and it reared its head in our nation's capital. I think Jayden was grounded. I think he was put on grounding. He was put on punishment. On final drive, he'd missed Antonio Williams on an earlier throw-in, but it still—

He's tough!

And he wasn't allowed to play ball anymore. At that moment, his mom said, that's obscene enough, no more ball. And I, I don't think that it helped that she failed to tell Jayden that she requested that the clock skip directly from 6 seconds to 4 seconds. That's something we always want to make sure to share with our young quarterbacks as we bring them along in this league. That's something that we can grow from and we can learn from. Easy mistake to solve. And my theory behind this is that I think Jayden's mom knows ball. I really think that she's perhaps a Glenette, and she's able to understand the game in levels that you probably wouldn't get it, but I certainly do. So if she'd like to talk ball sometimes, I have an open-door policy, and we could sit down together and explore ball. So, uh, yeah, this has been Glen. It is What If Wednesday. And thank you guys for all tuning in. Sincerely appreciate each and every one of you. Oh, one more thing, I almost forgot. Let's do the list. Tennessee Titans, you still haven't won a game, Jack. Miami Dolphins, you still haven't won a game, Jack.

Los Angeles Chargers, there's a reason they're not called the Win Angeles Chargers. You still haven't won a game, Jack. Welcome back to another What If Wednesday.

Great job.

This guy sucks. That was a good one. Can we stop doing Glenn? I like— he's 6 minutes long.

I like Jack.

6 minutes long this, this week. Just like dogshit content that nobody likes.

You still haven't won a game, Jack.

Yeah.

All right. Thanks to Glenn.

Felt personal. I still think that he's Max. There was like a little thing there where he— I think he accidentally said that he was Max in there.

Yeah. Yeah. He said something about making fun of the Eagles so they won't think it's me, Max.

Yeah. The Patriots game. Efton Chisholm. Hank, do you know anything about this Efton Chisholm guy?

Yeah, he's a great receiver.

I read some quotes about him, not only from the coaching staff this year, but from his college coach. And this guy said, this is the most classic Belichick guy ever. So his receiver coach this year said he is literally the first person into the building every single day. He's usually there before 5:30 AM. He like beats the coaches into work. And then his college coach said, it's not every player I've coached, whether it's an O-line coach or as a head coach, I would have wanted to marry one of my daughters. Like, definitely not everyone. There's a select few, and he's one of those guys. That's who he is. That's the biggest standing ovation I can give a student athlete while they're here. I got 2 daughters, and if they were to say Efton Chisholm is going to be my husband, I'm standing up and applauding.

Hmm, that's awesome.

So sounds like, sounds like a good guy.

Yeah, sounds like the man. Great guy, great receiver.

Patriots win by 14. Plus, plus, alternate spreading it. Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

By the way, okay.

Yeah.

All right. So memes, you'll be here. Glenn will be watching.

And if the Jets win, massive surprise.

Oh, massive surprise.

Massive surprise.

You're doing the holes all at once.

Yeah.

You're taking— you're cashing in that bet.

You've been taking hot yoga and you found a way to get all your holes, all his holes filled.

Kind of.

Okay.

Okay.

How bad of a loss would this be, Hank?

Really bad.

Oh, yeah.

I've never had to put my holes on the line before.

No, those holes. Let me see. Just show us one. Oh, I didn't even think you would do that. Oh, the belly button. I thought you were going to open your mouth. Oh, ear.

No.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay.

All right.

Here we go. Saints-Giants. Saints-Giants. Giants +1.5. Over-under is 45.5. Jameis Winston, the full Jameis experience that we got in the second half last week. He said that his take on the Jameis Winston experience is that I am called to be the light of the world and the salt of the earth.

Mm-hmm.

Agreed.

Agreed.

He also said that in the Bible, as it says, that like one day shall be a thousand years and a thousand years one day. He's trying to get 1% better every day, which I think by that math he could also get like 365,000% better.

Holy shit.

Every day.

I think that's how it works out. Yeah. Jada, enjoy the experience with Jameis. Yeah. Enjoy it while it lasts. I would count this as a revenge game.

For Jameis.

For Jameis, for sure.

Yeah, I know Saints might stink.

Yeah, they might.

Um, this, this might be bad. I, I saw the owner— you never want to have the owner being like 5 games into the season giving the this is unacceptable, uh, speech, like, like calling out the coaching staff. Yeah, Gayle Benson said, I will not make excuses and I will not accept this level of performance as our standard. Kellen Moore and his coaches are responsible for preparing our players to perform. Mickey Loomis and our football staff are responsible for building a roster. So now she's just explaining the organizational chart. Our players are responsible for the preparation execution. I am responsible for holding this organization accountable. So she's doing her job.

Yeah.

By saying, hey, this sucks.

I, I don't hate it.

Yeah. Get, get in the mix.

Win some football games.

Win some football games. But I think it might They're favored. I know. It makes no sense. I think people just are low on the Giants.

Yeah. I mean, we saw that last week. Vegas has been very disrespectful to the New York Giants recently.

They're disrespectful to Jameis.

Yeah.

I'm just worried. I feel, I feel like the Giants pass rush is decent and the Saints offensive line is not. And Shuck is going to be— we're going to ladder Shuck.

Was it the, was it the Cardinals game? Yeah, it was. So the Cardinals were road favorites in New York.

Yeah.

The Commanders were like 4.5 points.

3.5.

Yeah, it moved up. Yeah, it was 4.5, I think, at kickoff. 4.5-point favorites against the Giants. And now the Saints, I guess it's— they're -1.5 and it's +100. That's still— that's very disrespectful.

No one likes the Giants. No, I like Jameis. It's basically our 2 guys. You might have to go dual ladder, Max.

Oh, double ladder. Double ladder.

That would be awesome. That'd be so much fun.

No, maybe I'm going to go— I'm going to double heel.

I'm going to double.

It's a poopy game.

I'm going to double ladder if there's no rain, which there's been rain every single Sunday in MetLife. There's no rain.

I'm going to—

I'm going to single ladder each and then I'm going to parlay ladder both. And that's how I lost everything.

You could also do— there's usually like a combined passing yards, right?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah. Yeah, you might have to rip that one.

Do that too. All right, uh, Max, Panthers at Eagles. Eagles -1.5, over-under 40.5. You are going up against an, uh, a defeated trend. It's only 4 games, but a team coming back from England playing a team off a bye that's 0-4.

That's bullshit. That's bullshit.

How do you—

how does Roger Goodell schedule a team not only getting a bye coming off of London, but you have to play another team coming off a bye. It makes no sense. Why are you getting that much of a disadvantage?

Partially your fault.

Why?

Because I'm pretty sure that teams coming back from international play are allowed to take their bye.

I— but I get not wanting the bye this early in the season, but why do you have to play a team that is coming off a bye?

To fuck with you.

I agree.

Yeah, personally, you.

It's a fair complaint.

No, it absolutely is.

Yeah, it's bullshit.

So are you nervous for that reason?

No, I'm nervous because I thought everyone was gonna be healthy and nobody's practicing yet. I was, I was ready to call this like the mega max lock of the millennium.

Whoa.

If, but if it, because it sounded like everyone was coming back to start the week. And now it's, you know, now no one's practicing and no one's officially ruled out yet.

But it—

I need DeVonta Smith and Saquon Barkley to be playing. Yeah, I need— we have— Damien Pierce is, is not an NFL running back.

Mm-hmm.

He's just not. So if he's our RB1 going into this game, our run game is horrendous. We need Saquon back because even though the line is not good, Saquon is good enough that he can make positive plays even with a bad offensive line. We need some playmakers on offense.

Yeah, that's valid. Can I ask you what's going on with the second quarter?

You mean the third quarter?

No, the second quarter. Like, why is it so good for the Eagles?

Oh, because right before when they, they try to get in all the good plays right before they suck.

Well, yeah, that's when Max's blood sugar dips before the halftime. Yeah. So it's— you don't remember, but the second quarter is the good one. So it's First quarter, the Eagles are last in the league for points per game. Second quarter, they are second in the league in points per game. Third quarter, they are last in the league in points per game. Fourth quarter, they are second to last in the league in points per game. The second quarter is all you guys have. Why don't you just build the entire plane out of the second quarter?

I didn't know these stats. Those are— that's interesting stats. I don't, I don't know what to tell you, but it does make sense because you have hope at halftime in every single, in every single game we've had this year, and then it just has gone to shit. And it's all because your vibes are high going into the half because the second quarter is so good.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

I don't know what to tell you. I wish that we could do the second quarter plays for all 4 quarters, but I don't know. I still feel good about this game. I like Sirianni with his back against the wall and the He has gotten the team in a good spot to compete the past 2 weeks when it hasn't been easy with the amount of injuries that we've had. And now we're kind of in, like, I want to say it's must-win, but it's like you gotta win because then you play the Cowboys the week after. And if you win that game, then you're probably still right back in it with how bad the NFC East is right now. But the vibes would be a lot better if we could get a win at home this weekend.

Use the word gotta. Maybe it's a gotta-win game.

Yeah, I like a gotta-win game. I like a gotta-win game.

Gotta win.

It's gotta win. And then if you lose, it's Monday Night Football against the Cowboys. The must-win of all, of all must-ness.

Wow.

Everyone's getting traded.

Mega must.

If you lose the next 2 games, everyone's getting traded.

Next week is the Cowboys?

It's—

yeah, Panthers this week, Cowboys next week.

Can I say, so Jalen Coker being back is a problem for you. He's been really good when he's been out there. Bryce Young, by the way, 19-9 against the spread. The Eagles defense is good, but the Panthers offense is also good.

Yeah, Jags offense was good too.

Max, can I—

what about that?

Can I say something?

And I'm saying going into last week, Jags offense was really good.

Yeah.

I mean, also Liam Cohn did— he had beans for brains in the red zone.

Yeah, you got to get a couple more field goals. The offense was not like No, I agree. As explosive as it has been.

Okay.

I like this.

Defense has been good.

Yeah. I like that he's still got some fight.

Pay compliment to Nick Sirianni. I think that Nick Sirianni did a very good job of, of raising his hand and taking all the blame for what happened at the end of the game. I don't really think it was that much Nick Sirianni's fault. He could have prevented it. There were ways that maybe he could have stopped it from happening, but also You got to make a tackle on kickoff.

No.

Yeah, I have 8 seconds left.

It didn't work out. So I understand why, like, it's a bad choice because it actually ended up being the wrong decision in the moment. But as far as bad decisions go, I don't think it's like— this isn't egregious as we made it seem. It was, it was bad because it was a standalone game and everybody was watching it before the other game started. And the Eagles, like, anytime you lose a game with 8 seconds left, it sucks. It sucks. I don't know that you can put 100%. There's, there's other stuff that you can blame Sirianni for that I think he's more responsible for than maybe the end of that game.

Um, I think I will walk back the kicking decision a little bit. Like, that wasn't as egregious. You're emotional. It's an emotional loss. It's terrible to lose a game.

Things get said.

That I will walk that part back a little bit that, you know, you just as easily could have lost on like a sideline throw out of bounds. I personally would like to trust our defense that has been playing extremely well all day rather than a kickoff team that was down 4 guys on the kickoff team because of injuries and had already taken one back earlier in the game when the defense was really, really good all, all game. I would have trusted that defense, but it's not as egregious as a decision as I thought on Sunday. I still think not running the ball and making sure the kick is— that is—

That's the bad part of it.

Yeah.

I, I, I will say, like, Jake Elliott, he was told what to do. I still think the way he kicked it was bad. He kicked a line drive. If he popped it up and tried to— like, I— in a perfect world, if you're trying to run clock and not kick it out of bounds, you pop it up and have, you know, like, you just—

But is that still the same with the kickoff rule? Like, that's what I don't—

Yeah, it's— well, no, I, I think the returner would still return it. You would give him a little bit better of a field position, like Like bump, but I don't— I think it's harder to return a pop-up. Like you give up a few yards, but it's harder to return a pop-up than a line drive. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know.

It was just such a— it was just like a one in a million shot.

It is because like where he got tackled on the field also.

Yeah.

It was the perfect—

what are the odds? Like obviously he could have scored a touchdown on the return. That would have been— that would have been bad. That would have been maybe worse. But then for him to get tackled in that one spot that's close enough to kick a field goal. And not far enough to let the clock run all the way down. That is like, that's a Goldilocks zone that you did not see coming if you were Sirianni. So while he has made a lot of bad decisions and I personally do not like him because he's won so much, I will say he is not totally at responsibility for that decision at the end of the game. And he did a good job of saying that he was.

No, I agree with that. I agree with that. I was very mad on Sunday. Very, very mad that we lost that game. And I still think that in your house— I didn't scream in my house. I don't know why you guys keep saying that.

You scream.

And I'm still mad that the field goal wasn't the last play of the game. But the decision to kick rather than kick it out of the end zone isn't as bad as I thought on Sunday. And I agree with you on that. I may have overreacted on that front a little bit.

Listen, we all overreact. If we're— if we want to say what we overreacted on Sunday, I Listen, Tyson Bagent is technically an NFL quarterback, okay? He's playing in the NFL. His job's to play quarterback in the NFL. I was wrong on that. We should maybe just start doing that on, on Friday, be like, here's our corrections.

I like that.

Here's our emotional corrections.

Sunday's an emotional day.

It's a very emotional day. We say things that, that when, when we wake up on Monday, we're like, oh shit, I was pretty emotional.

Good and bad too. Sometimes like you you're like, we're gonna win the Super Bowl, this is the best team ever after a win, when maybe that's emotional as well.

What about, um, Damien Pierce? Would you like to correct? Is he an NFL running back?

No. Yep, he, he is an NFL running back.

Okay. Yeah, but not this week. He is, he's currently an NFL running back.

Yeah, there was a couple plays that I, I, I, I— again, I don't do film on losses, so I haven't done film in the past couple weeks, but I did see a clip on on X.com of someone being like, if Saquon's in this game, he probably has 2 touchdowns. Like, yeah, that he just wasn't seeing.

If someone said that.

Yeah, that's as good as watching film.

Yeah.

But I saw—

no, they showed someone else.

They showed the clips as well. So I watched those pieces of film.

Yeah.

You can be an NFL player with non-NFL tendencies.

Yeah, correct.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Also something to watch. Jalen Hurts definitely is dealing with something with his leg because his rushing attempts are wildly down. And he was—

remember, he's listed for a calf.

Yeah.

In London, he came out late with— he was on the, on the bike. All right. Last early game, Steelers at Bucs. Bucs +2.5, over-under 39.5. Zach, season's back on.

You're back. So fresh off a win.

It's been a while.

It—

that's so far in the past though.

And—

but now we're here. We're— I think we're back. And I don't think I'm gonna regret saying that.

I think I mean it.

Okay. So you think you're gonna win this game?

I was more scared of the Cowboys game than this game. And then the Cowboys game went well.

Are you a little scared of the fact that like all the Buccaneers games— I've made this point last week— all the Buccaneers games specifically in Tampa Which— wait, is it Tampa or St. Pete?

The Bucs play in Tampa, the Rays play—

So people will be able to get there?

It depends. If you've ever been there, I don't know, it depends on the weather because the sun hits both sides.

Okay, but what if they have a baseball game at the same time?

Probably be a bunch of people that go to the baseball game.

Yeah, again, that's weather pending, also traffic pending. I don't know if you guys ever hit I-4 East. I-4 East is tough.

No, I hope, I hope so.

I heard you can get car locked on the bridge.

That can't happen. And the bridge is also— it's a new bridge. The old one was a little bit worse. The new one, not still not as good.

Not, not really.

It's safe but doesn't feel safe.

That's not good.

Look, none of that matters though on the field, because on the field I think we're gonna do great. And sometimes guys like to watch the game at home.

But you know what I'm saying? Every single game that we've watched in Tampa this year has looked exactly the same.

Yeah, not good. Yeah, no. But hey, this is a read-'em-breed-'em home opener.

Mm-hmm.

So something to think about.

I don't know what to make of this game. I'm gonna like Jalen Daniels.

Sure.

The offensive line hasn't been the best this season. I'm a little worried that the Steelers have some guys that do get home.

Yeah, but your defense has been good, and the Steelers offense can be bottled up.

They've looked better.

I'm not going to bet this game. I have no idea what to make of this game.

Well, I think this is— this the lowest under?

It might be on the board.

I think it is. So nobody, nobody really has any confidence in either one of these 2 teams.

39.5. Do you guys— what do you guys think about Mike Tomlin saying he might be on the spectrum?

Yeah, I was speculating when I saw the Minecraft. Yeah, he might be into trains.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Good for you, Mike Tomlin.

Good job, Mike.

Yeah, he's, he's having a real nice glow up.

Yeah, Mike, I did not see this coming.

Come on the pod, Mike.

I kind of did just because of everyone being like he's the greatest guy ever. Yeah, like you don't get greatest guy ever and best player coach ever without being a like gregarious— that's where the spectrum thing probably doesn't really work.

Teams love him. I don't know.

Yeah, come on the pod, dude.

Sunday Night Football, NBC coming to town 2 weeks from now.

Oh, who do we have?

Bucs.

That's Bucs. Yeah.

All right.

Let's pot it up, Mike.

I liked, I like Coach McCarthy's quote because he gave his players a day of reflection. He canceled practice the Tuesday after the Browns lost.

Yeah, that was because it was about— they had a lot of shit they had to clean up.

Yeah, it was. Yeah. We need to clean our own house. Our house is not clean right now. And he blamed the mental conditioning. So I don't know what the Steelers have been doing mental conditioning-wise.

Is that like they have to do like the Sudoku?

It might be.

That sounds like the daily crossword on New York Times.

I would delegate that to my quarterback. I feel like Aaron Rodgers would have a lot of good mental conditioning drills and techniques that he could put the team through.

Do you think Mike McCarthy's playing this new game that, by the way, great game, the guy released where you get to play call real live situations? You think Mike McCarthy's playing it and being like, shit?

I think Mike McCarthy is the kind of guy that refers to anything that you can play a game on as a Nintendo.

Yeah.

You got your phone in your hand or your Game Boy? What Nintendo?

Yeah.

Is that your— is that your little Game Boy? What's the—

can you—

Max, now would be an appropriate time to pull it up.

You guys, man.

What?

Why? Why was that? Why is that wrong?

All right.

He's got to think. You're not letting him think.

I mean, I brought it up. You don't even know what I'm talking about.

Stupid Game Boy.

He's froze. He's frozen right now because he wasn't listening.

Let him, let him think. He has to think before he types.

I got him.

All right. This is called 2 Minute NFL, 2 Min Drill. And this guy created the game where you get to be the coach and simulate the situations. We're not going to actually play it right now. I just wanted to shout out, I didn't know the website.

Thank God I pulled it up.

Why do you want— I want to shout out the guy who created it. It's a fucking awesome game.

What am I pulling it up for?

Pass. Go pass. Yeah, go pass. Go Luther Burton. Luther Burton.

I already scored a touchdown and won this game.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Good for you.

How much time you leave on the clock?

Oh, he's wide open.

Zero.

Oh, that's a bad pass.

Last play of the game.

That's a bad pass.

Pick.

Caught it!

Touchdown! Go for 2. It's 17-10, uh, 17— now 17-16 Rams. Go for 2. No, no, no.

Ah, Philly Special.

Okay.

Oh, it's going to be bad.

Still.

Oh, you got to catch it, Caleb.

You want to— now you got to go onside. Bears are down 17-6, 1:41 left. Did we get it? Ah, they recover. All right, we're going to lose this one. Blitz. Oh, I just blitz every time. Do you guys blitz?

I didn't know that defense was an option.

Yeah, I never got to defense.

Oh, really?

I've only done it once.

I scored a touchdown. Yeah, you haven't scored a touchdown fast enough, obviously.

Yeah. No, yeah, perfect. I want— I scored a touchdown.

No timeouts.

No time left on the clock. That's how you do it. You win the game. Don't give them another chance.

Yeah, this game is awesome though. NFL 2, the number 2, mindrill.com. Shout out to the guy. Can you show me who created it? Oh, sack. Stop for loss. I don't think we're getting the ball back. It's bad podcasting.

Timeout.

How many timeouts do you have?

We have one left.

Okay.

All right. Blitz him last time. Blitz him. Oh, the blitz. Oh, Max, why'd you call blitz?

Is that Kyren?

That's good. He just scored.

Yeah, good point.

Yeah, true.

Or we got to score.

Go for 2.

All right. Just deep ball.

Yeah, just deep balls.

Wait, how can we give up a timeout?

Yeah, but now we got to score, go for 2.

Yeah, now you got to score, go for 2 because you use a timeout. Yeah, but that's weird. We shouldn't have had to use—

He should have gone down at the 1.

Should have gone down at the 1.

That was a terrible, terrible play by Kyrie.

Break it.

Oh, all right.

46-yard line.

Hank, are you enjoying this?

Good return.

No. Why not? Have you played this game yet?

Bomb.

Hank hates football.

Bomb.

Oh, oh, oh, go, go, go. And it's the 2-minute drill.

0.

Check out this guy.

7 seconds.

Every day gives you 5 different—

get out of bounds.

3.

Oh, God.

Timeout.

Timeout. You did a run.

I, I was trying to just click something fast. I know it doesn't work that way.

You're no longer allowed to make fun. The Commanders-Giants game ended.

It's over.

Yeah.

You called this one like Herm Edwards. Yikes.

Yeah.

Then they give you a comp. Awesome game. OK, let's do— let's do Hank. Hank, was that the worst 3 minutes?

No.

OK. It was bad, though.

Sound like you meant that, Hank.

I mean, there's been worse, unfortunately.

Yeah. Yeah. You should play this game.

It's fun.

Yeah.

No. Okay.

All right.

He didn't like us playing our little Game Boy. All right. Before we do the afternoon games, Twisted Tea. It's football season. We've never been more ready for game day. We're bringing Twisted Tea along for the ride all season long. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. The Twisted Tea Party Pack has a little something for everyone.

The—

with the original, half and half, and raspberry and peach. It's got the refreshing taste, a little kick, no carbonation, goes down smooth. Making it the perfect drink to help, uh, keep the good times going at the tailgate all day and all football season long. Whether you're tailgating at the stadium, crushing teas in your man cave, or grilling out with friends, Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. We love Twisted Tea. Have Twisted Tea while you're watching some football this Sunday, maybe at the bar, maybe on Saturday at the bar, maybe on Sunday on your couch. So grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today and keep it twisted with Twisted Tea. All right, boys, we talked about it, but the afternoon slate is— someone's got to show up because the first one is Cardinals +12.5 at the Rams. Hank, by the way, what's the hungry dog looking like?

It's looking like the Birds.

Yeah.

It's looking like a game we're about to talk about.

Okay. Raiders?

Nope.

Oh, you're going back to the Chargers and the Browns.

Ooh.

I, I love the Chargers.

You are right. Let's just quickly go through Rams-Cardinals. I think the Rams are going to kill them. I don't know why the Cardinals aren't starting Carson Beck. It feels like it's time to do it.

Maybe they, maybe they start Jacoby Brissett and then they put Carson Beck in for the last 3 quarters.

Well, you got to bring Jacoby back in.

That's right. At the end.

Yeah.

At the end, you sandwich quarterback.

Yes.

If you were to build an offense out of quarters, it would be Cardinals first, Eagles second quarter. I don't know who 3rd quarter actually is, but 4th quarter, probably Bo Nix or the Cardinals again.

It actually would be the Oreo offense, right? Jacoby start, Carson back in the middle, Jacoby to end.

Yeah.

That's an Oreo.

Yeah.

It's perfect.

The Rams this year, one of the reasons why they've lost more games than people expected so far is that they are committing a shitload of penalties. So last year, They averaged 33 penalty yards per game. This year they average 73. They went from the best in the league last year to the second to worst this year. Clean it up.

Remember though, they have started slow the past couple of years. So they started, you know, I think it was so last year they started 3-2 and finished the season 12-5. The year before they started 1-4 and started— it finished the season 10-7. Year before that, 3-6, 7, uh, 10-7 as well. So like, we always talk about the Bengals starting slow. The Rams have been a slow-starting team. I expect them to start winning a lot of games.

Mm-hmm.

And I will say, uh, it felt like too much with Mevis. We, we— the Mevis files, the guy missed a couple kicks and he's a little bit bigger. We didn't have to just Throw out all everything he's ever done.

All the pictures. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Come on. It was too much. I feel bad for Mevis.

I was looking at the stats for survivor leagues because the Chargers— or the Cardinals ruined everyone's survivor league week 1, I think. Right.

Yeah.

It's the Chargers. They have the opportunity to put the stake in so many different survivor leagues where if you haven't picked the Rams yet, you are picking the Rams.

Yes.

And it could, it could cost a lot of people a lot of money if they were to go out there and do it a second time.

Yes. I am out of the— my Survivor league. I fucked up very badly and took the Cowboys last week.

Same. Should we— should the Cardinals have bought the Seeker JUGS machine for Marvin Harrison?

Yes.

Is that when it all went wrong?

Yes.

I think so too. Get the man his JUGS machine.

Insane they didn't do that.

Is that too much to ask?

They should just have them. I don't understand.

It's $50,000.

You're an NFL team.

Most college teams have them.

teams have it.

I kind of want one here.

I was thinking about— I said that I'd be willing to look into getting a jugs machine.

Memes will judge us.

Well, we have a jugs machine.

It's not a secret.

We never use it. Yeah, but yeah, we should get the better one. More expensive.

We don't use the one that we have because it's not the good one. If we had the good one, we'd use it.

We're not receivers also.

Yeah.

Yeah, you might be after the Patriots game.

Thoughts?

Ooh, don't we have one?

No, we have a jugs machine. We don't have a secret machine.

What's a secret machine?

It's the— it's the special machine. Remember we used it at LSU? You can—

It's for quick shit.

You can dial in anything, any like lefty, righty, what route you want to run, how the speed— it's the best machine. SMU create— I don't know if SMU created it. SMU was the first team to use a secret machine like 4 years ago. They basically dropped like 4 balls all year, and other teams have looked into it and been like, oh shit, we need one of these as well. Uh, we need the secret machine, but we didn't want to— it's $50,000. So then if we said we're gonna buy it, then you're gonna judge us.

Oh, if it's only $50,000.

Yeah, it would actually pay for itself.

Yeah, we used this at LSU. That's the one we used where you remember you just were standing out there and it would— they would like punch something into a computer and then you get the ball.

It would probably turn us into like a professional-grade wide receiver because we saw what it did to Marvin Harrison when he didn't have it.

Yeah.

LSU had it. Saints didn't have it.

LSU had it. Saints didn't have it.

Yes.

I mean, LSU had everything.

He might be a— he might be a secret merchant. At any rate, we should get one.

Okay. All right, Hank, you ready? Give us your case. Chargers +8.5 at the Chiefs.

Mike McDaniel coaching for his job. Justin Herbert coaching for his career.

Wait, by the way, can we just stop right there? Because the report came out that Mike McDaniel might be fired if the offense doesn't get better and then Adam Gase would take over. That feels like a threat. That's a real threat. Like, you guys think it's good. It's bad now. Wait till we get Adam.

I also think Herbert probably is like, fuck, I can't, I can't deal with Adam Gase. Like, we got to win this game.

Okay.

I think they got nothing to lose. Chiefs, doesn't matter that they're coming off a bye.

Andy Reid off a bye is like really—

13-2 straight up after a bye.

Doesn't matter. Irrelevant stat. Not, not related to this game whatsoever.

Well, he is coming off—

This is the NFL. We talk about it all the time. The games that everyone expects are just going to be rollover wins are the ones that teams surprise you and win. The Chargers, they had this game circled at the start of the year as a big game for them. That hasn't changed.

It hasn't.

No. They have a chance. They want to— they want a chance at winning the division. They need to win this game.

Do you think they added circles every time they lost a game? It's like even the games that we didn't have circles Before. Now they get a circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They probably had like 4 or 5 circled to start the year and now they have all of the rest of them.

Every game is a circle. Yeah, yeah. I would agree with that. I would be worried about Andy Reid off a bye, but it's not my bet.

I'm done betting the Chargers. I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry, Hank. I've just gotten my guts ripped out every single week.

So you're going to give up?

Yeah.

All right.

I'm quitting.

What have we seen?

Giving up.

I'll ride with you.

In fact, I would say that—

But he's taking moneyline.

Yeah, me too. Because he also— because he got in the Birds hole.

Yeah.

Now I want to get in.

Yeah, fine. You know what? I'll do it.

Yeah, I don't— I haven't seen anything out of them that, that gives me reason to think— I mean, they could have won like all these games, but they don't because they, they fuck up. Yeah, it's not like bad luck. The injuries, that is bad luck. I'll give them that. The injuries part, that is, that's unfortunate. That has nothing to do with what they do to prepare for the game, but they make a shitload of bad plays.

What if Madison Beer and Taylor Swift are in the same box?

Well, we do now have Jake Browning got signed to the Chargers. So now Jake Browning's box of the year, wife or girlfriend with Madison Beer.

Box of the Year.

Box of the Year. What are you looking up, Max? Oh my God, there's— oh yeah, there we go. Chargers QB room. It's Madison Beer, Jake Browning.

That's the horniest post I've ever seen, Memes.

Yeah, you're a horny guy.

Simply an observation of 2 women that happen to be married or engaged to the 2 others in the QB room.

You probably— you probably, Memes, you probably thought Shane Gillis's monologue was so fun.

I watched it live.

Yeah.

Didn't think—

didn't think anything of it.

Nope. It's like, I thought— I know we don't need to get it. I thought we were done with this. I thought we were done policing comedy. I cannot believe we're still doing this.

As far as comedy goes to police, I think we can get offended by more significant stuff than that.

I stand with you.

There's got to be something else out there besides Women wear tight-fitting clothes.

Also, the rest of the monologue was— Shane was being self-deprecating and talking about how he looked like an egg, a gas station hard-boiled egg. Yeah, I stand with Shane. Ridiculous. Like, it's actually shocking to me that we're doing the comedy police stuff again. But all right, so we're doing the Chargers. We're doing it.

No, I'm not going to But Tyquan, they haven't won a game.

Are they going to get—

Big goose egg. You want to talk about guys that look like goose eggs at the gym? It's the Chargers. They haven't won anything.

Haven't won a game, Jack. Are they going to get Tyreek Hill? Is—

when is—

when would Tyquan Thornton actually be back? I actually think it is significant that he's out. Tyquan Thornton, I don't know, his leg.

So it's going to be— my guess would be like 8 weeks.

They said playoffs.

Oh, OK. Yeah. He underwent surgery, was officially placed on injury reserve, forcing him out for an estimated 12 to 16 weeks.

12 to 16. That's a long time.

But that was our— that's the Chiefs' deep shot. They don't have one.

And I don't know that they're going to get Tyreek like we thought they were because he got some bad news.

Why?

Bad guy.

What happened?

Just some—

no way.

Some more stuff came out.

Oh, no.

In one of his legal cases.

Yeah.

Oh, God. Bad guy.

I had no idea that he could have been a bad guy.

Bad guy. I didn't see this one coming.

No. No one saw this one coming.

So you got liable on 2 domestic violence charges. So the NFL is looking it over right now. And I don't, I don't think Roger Goodell is in the mood. He's not in one of the moods to play around with him right now.

Yeah.

Well, if the Chiefs start losing games, maybe.

That's, that's actually a valid point.

Yeah.

If they lose this game, say the Broncos win, I could see Goodell being like, boys will be boys.

Yeah. Well, we got to get him back. All right. Bills-Raiders, last game in the afternoon. This is a game I have circled. The Raiders have to show up because we could have some bad games in the afternoon. Raiders +5.5, over-under 53.5. Bills off a massive Monday night win, going back to the West Coast-ish.

They're staying.

I think they stayed.

I think they stayed out.

Okay.

I don't know if they stayed in Vegas. My guess is maybe not. Maybe they stayed in LA somewhere.

That was smart. But Raiders, Kirk Cousins back indoors.

Yep. Thank God.

Thank God. It's getting cold out there.

He's safe. We got eyes on him. He's not wandering around in the woods.

Yeah.

Cancel the, the silver alert.

Yeah. James Cook's got to stop fumbling. I'm trying to think. I don't know what I'm going to do in this game. I really don't.

I mean, the Bills game plan is like Josh is going to roast everyone. But I think he's not going to do that every single week.

Like, he didn't do that against the Patriots. He did it against the Rams. Rams also have bad linebackers. I don't, I don't think it's sustainable for him to be like a maniac running the ball every single week.

It's not. He has, he's got 15 touchdowns this season. It's crazy, which is nuts. I think that what we need to see out of the Raiders is for them to, for them to be able to beat a good team.

Yeah.

Because I think I brought this up on Monday's show. Yeah, but their 3 wins have come against teams with a combined 1 win between the 3 of them. So at some point, I think the Raiders are a nice story. I think that they're going to be an average team, which is a massive compliment considering where they were last year. But if you want to, if you want to think that you might make the playoffs and have like a really entertaining late November, December as a Raiders fan, this is going to be a game that I think you'll have to win.

They might not even have to win. They just got to, they got to, they got to be close.

Yeah.

Because they do the Chiefs, the closeness of the Chiefs game. I think counts as like a half a win for them.

Yeah. Yeah.

Morally.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It feels good.

OK. Last one. Cowboys-Packers Sunday Night Football. I'm just going to take the over in this game. Packers -1.5, over-under 53.5. Yeah, that's all I got in this game. I hope that the Packers aren't good again, which I'm scared. I've been very consistent that when people were burying them, I was like, zombie Packers. Micah Parsons is going to come back eventually. I don't know if Josh Jacobs Jacobs is. But I'm, I'm, I'm always worried because the Packers always find a way to be decent. And the Cowboys, great offense, terrible defense. Oh, they changed defensive coordinators.

Well, that's what I was going to ask about because Jerry Jones went on the radio and said that their defense coordinator, Christian Parker, is going to move to the booth. And then Schottenheimer yesterday said, well, we haven't really decided that officially yet. Oh, it sounds like you did. It sounds like Jerry just—

Jerry told you.

Jerry just kind of finalized it. But yeah, has there been an update on that? Because it's Thursday morning and I haven't seen an update to that story. So I don't know. Christian Parker is going to be— my guess is if Jerry said it, he's going to be in the booth.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So yeah, they got to figure something out on defense. Cowboys Christian Parker will be moving to the coaching booth on game days according to Jerry Jones. So that's the first thing.

Yeah.

And Schottenheimer was like, I don't—

we don't know.

He's like, well, we haven't— we haven't totally decided that yet.

Yeah, you have. Yeah, you have.

You have to.

There's a good chance Christian's on the field. Christian Parker is our defensive coordinator, All-Defensive Defensive decisions will go through him.

This—

none of these decisions have been finalized. That's what Schottenheimer— Schottenheimer's got to figure this out fast.

This doesn't seem good for him.

No.

And figure it out, basically be like, dude, you're not the boss. Make sure you—

And if you didn't know that this is the way it was going to be when you decide to coach the Cowboys, yeah, then I question your decision-making process.

Yep, yep. I'm just excited to take the over.

Yeah. You think the, the Packers offensive line is going to be better?

Yeah.

I mean, they played well against the Bears and the Cowboys defense is worse than the Bears defense, which is shocking, but it is true.

Yeah.

So, and I think that the Cowboys offense is way better than Tyson Bagent. So I think there's going to be points.

There is. This is a rematch of the Mason Crossbar game. Also of the Hank game, the Hole in the Wall.

Also the tie.

Also, also the tie.

Yeah.

There's a lot of history.

Oh yeah.

Between these 2 teams.

Caught it.

Also, the Dez caught it. Yeah, a lot.

There's a lot.

Something's going to happen with this game.

Something is. You're going to play. They're going to play this game.

They're going to play it. But something— we're going to remember this game. That's what I'm hoping. Did you see that? That Jerry also said on his radio hit that he kind of, he kind of took the, the workers' side against Dak.

Oh, no.

He said, I'm for fans expressing themselves.

He should be.

Yeah, he should be.

Fans will be there forever. Dak's not going to be the quarterback forever.

And if I was Dak, I probably wouldn't be too happy about hearing that.

Well, it just means that Jerry agrees it was embarrassing. That's kind of how it was embarrassing. You lost to the Bucs.

It was embarrassing. But that's kind of how this organization thrives.

Chaos. Okay. Should we do our picks? Oh, do we have— did Jerry O'Connell send a video?

All right.

We'll do Jerry O'Connell and then we'll do our picks and then we'll get to Mike Florio and talk a little more football.

He sent 2. Well, second one's funnier.

He only gets 1 minute.

1 minute.

This is—

what do you mean?

He sent me— he sent me an updated one.

Well, you have to pick which one.

I know. I'm picking right now. I'm thinking, okay, I'm going to send it to— I'm going to send this to Glenn Tape Scout.

Why?

Why? Just— I just need to get it on the computer. And he was the first one that came up.

Oh, he's going to be so confused.

You guys are—

what the fuck?

Wait, so you're saying to yourself, why is Jerry always like at some—

He did a something on CNN last night.

He looks so good. That is, he definitely got some work done recently, right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

He looks great.

He looks great.

He's been doing yoga, Hank.

All right.

Ready?

Yeah. Look at this, guys. Our nation's capital, Union Station.

Capital.

Look how beautiful this is. Start the music, memes. Start the music.

We're gonna start—

10 seconds. And hopefully he'll beat Lefty Lockwood. Your backswing sucks. Bing bong. We're gonna start the Jags back to back in London. We know you love those London games, Hanky. Bing bong. Wake up, Hanky.

Sleepy Hank.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're gonna sit all the Eagles. Sorry, Max, we're sitting all of them. Uh, hey, speaking of birds, we're gonna sit that store that wouldn't sell, uh, Kelly Clarkson that $15,000 bird. If some idiot wants to buy a $15,000 bird, let them buy it. Uh, we're gonna sit, uh, we're gonna, uh— how much time I got left? I got like 10 more seconds.

This was the funnier one.

Uh, I gotta manage my time, unlike Jaden in that game. He couldn't manage the time. Big Bing bong, you blew a PFT. Start Jacoby, start Woody Marks, start Keith Mitchell. Chiefs defense, I did it 1 minute. Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Big Hank, be nice to Jerry. Do you want to see the other one? No, no, no.

Jerry really, he goes after Hank a lot.

Yeah.

I've never noticed that until just now.

And Hank's never said anything bad about him.

Yeah, true.

Yeah.

You guys know me.

Yeah.

I won't say a word till I'm touched, poked.

Till Jerry touches you.

Yeah.

Till Jerry's kids.

Jerry's kids.

And you've been touched.

Touches me a lot.

Yeah.

When I don't want to be.

Yeah.

No means no, Jerry.

Yeah.

Stay away.

All right.

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What do we got?

I lost last week.

I did too.

I did too.

Okay.

You 3.

All right.

What do we got?

What do you guys got? I'm gonna go Javonte.

Give me Josh Allen.

Javonte Williams.

Josh Allen.

Okay.

Actually, it's too, too, too not juicy enough.

What do you mean?

It's not minus 1.7.

That's what he means.

He likes juicy, like plus signs.

Juice.

Like plus signs, don't you? Uh, see, there's the Bills-Raiders there. I'm gonna do something Chargers-Chiefs. How about that?

Okay, give me Davante Adams.

I'm gonna go with Jason. No, I'm Travis Kelce.

Okay.

Jason would be juicy.

That'd be very juicy.

Go ahead, Hank.

Davante Adams.

Davante Adams.

Yeah.

Davante Adams.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

So go bet it right now. Now let's do our picks. I got to win, Zach. You and I are in last.

Got to make it shake.

Let's fucking go.

A lot of season left.

Hank, you're up first, I believe. Judges. Chargers +8.5.

Yeah.

Memes.

Charge them if you got them. I will be taking— let me pull up the Rams-Cardinals over, which is 51.5. You got to time up the Cardinals when they stop playing defense.

I'll be taking the Ravens -5.5. Oh, I like— I like me— I like Memes' stat.

What was the stat again?

That every team loses after playing the Jets. Well, I mean, they could lose.

Yes.

Yeah. So like 5.5 points.

So like 5.5.

I'm going to take the under in that.

Oh, Zach.

Oh, oh, oh, Zach.

Zach, that was right in your face.

Do it, Zach.

5 yards.

5 yards.

Do it, Zach. Do it, Zach.

Do it.

I'm going to do it. Jaguars -2.5.

Oh, I'll take the under in the Eagles.

Well, that was— I was going to take the under in the Browns-Ravens game, 42.5.

Okay. Gross. I'll take the over in the Cowboys-Packers game, 53, and then I will take I'll take the Browns +5.5 head-to-head, Max.

I'm going to take the Washington Commanders +7.5 Monday Night Football.

I'm going to take the over in the Ravens-Browns game.

Oh, that's head—

that's head-to-head with who? Someone took the under there.

I took the under.

Yeah.

I'm going to take the over in Bills-Raiders, over 53. Now what, Henry? Is that what you were going to take?

No, he's just making that face.

Why are you making that face?

I also was going to take something in that game. But you're hot. Okay.

Rams -12.5. I'm doubling up.

Don't be scared, Hank.

Just do it.

All right.

Under Bills-Raiders.

Okay.

All right. Let's get to Mike Florio, talk some more football.

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Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is our dear friend Mike Florio from Pro Football Talk, which, by the way, November 1st, 25 years.

25 years. And anytime you get to that kind of occasion, it means one thing and only one thing. It means you are old. But yes, 25 years. We flipped the switch. It cost me $500 to set up the website and $50 a month. And the local company honored the quote of $50 a month until We left the server like 5, 6 years later, and they were so happy that we finally left because it kept growing and growing and growing. And they never, they never raised the price, which was good because we didn't make any money for 5 or 6 years.

That's incredible. 25 years in this business is— I mean, that's, that's genuinely incredible.

On the internet, it's like 400 years. Yeah, for a website to exist.

Dog years.

And I feel that old. I feel that old. It is amazing how much everything has changed. changed how we consume content, but we've survived and our traffic keeps going up year over year. We keep doing what we do, and I'm going to keep doing it until the horse dies under me and the horse throws me off or I die on top of the horse. I guess those are the 3 possibilities.

Horse fetish.

I love it.

Yeah, is there a time— I don't think we've ever asked you this— is there a moment in the first couple years where it almost didn't make it?

I quit for 2 days.

Oh, I think I remember. Yeah, yeah.

Why?

Well, because look, I grew up a big Vikings fan, and that has been numbed and dulled to a certain extent over the past 25 years because you're covering all 32 teams, you're paying attention to all 32 teams. But when I first got started, I was still hopeful that Randy Moss's presence would cause them to finally get back to a Super Bowl and win it. and they got the shit kicked out of them on a Sunday night in Seattle in September of 2002. The site was less than a year old at that point. I decided after that game, screw this. This thing's never going to be anything. It's never going to grow. We're never going to make any money. I'm just done. So I didn't do anything with it at all the following day. That was a Monday. By Tuesday, I was like, well, I miss that. That's fun. And I got back into it and that was the only time.

That was hilarious.

And I still didn't know we were ever going to make any money. And it was still multiple years before we ever made any money, but I just enjoyed it. It was a hobby that didn't cost me any money other than the $50 a month. So yeah, I quit. I officially quit for 48 hours.

It's very relatable. We've got some guys here that don't like to say much after their team loses either.

Yeah.

It's, it's a pretty common thing.

Yeah.

He's not even here.

But it's great now. It's great now. The life that I have now, there's no option. It used to be like back when you're truly a fan, I would go into a 48-hour media blackout. I wouldn't want to watch TV. I wouldn't want to look at the newspaper. I wanted nothing. I wanted nothing to do with it. I remember after the Vikings lost in the 1998 NFC Championship Game, the next day I was getting gas. And when I went in to pay, I saw a copy of the USA Today and there was a little picture in the corner of Gary Anderson. And I like averted my eyes. No, it wasn't Gary Anderson. It was Morton.

Yeah.

Not the Anderson bastard that missed the field goal, the Anderson bastard that made the field goal. And I just like pretended it didn't happen. Well, so yeah, you got no choice when you're in the business. You got to keep going.

We were talking about it on this very episode that we just, we already taped our picks and preview how Sunday night we're all in an emotional state and we say things. And then I wake up on Monday, like I woke up on Monday this week and there was just a quote card. that just said Tyson Bagent isn't a— isn't an NFL quarterback. Big Cat. And I was like, fuck, did I say that? That seems a little harsh.

And it's like—

You did say that.

I heard it.

I heard it.

He— I mean, he wasn't on Sunday, that's for sure. I think he still— he could be a good backup, but he wasn't on Sunday.

They loved him too. They gave him that contract, $10 million, 2 years, and they've resisted any opportunities they would have had to trade him. And you get the feeling they thought he was as good as maybe some starters were, and he's a great insurance policy. but didn't go very well on Sunday. It may just be a glitch, may just be a glitch, maybe an aberration. Yeah, but I feel bad though.

It was harsh. I, I, I, I root for Tyson. Yeah, I root for Tyson. I don't— and I saw it and I was like, shit, I did say that. That was probably too harsh.

Uh, all right, so I got one last thing real quick. Mike, can we break the news? We texted about it offline.

I—

and I'm super, super excited for the anniversary of, of, uh, profootballtalk.com. One of the ideas that you Can we just tease the people with that?

Sure. Especially if it keeps you from writing a review that completely destroys it. But the last version of it did deserve to be destroyed. I have rewritten, start to finish, front to back, without even consulting the original copy, I have rewritten Quarterback of the Future.

Whoa!

Huge.

The 2001 football time travel novel. And I'm going to post it one chapter per day.

Yes.

Beginning on November 1st, as my gift Yes. To anyone out there who goes all the way back to 2001 and remembers it. And here's how it came to be. Let me tell you the story since you cracked the seal on this whole thing. My agent now— and I don't have an agent for any of the NBC broadcasting PFT stuff. I've got an agent who's helping me on the fiction side, and he managed to sell one of my novels. It's going to come out next summer. Crooked Lane is publishing it, but he's plugged into the whole Hollywood scene too. And I've had a lot of meetings with a lot of production companies. I've got a short story that's in development with Platinum Dunes. And I had a meeting, it's been a year and a half, almost 2 years ago with Skydance. And we were going over all the things I had. And somehow, it just came up that I wrote this shitty time travel novel. And I started explaining the premise. And the producer, like, sat forward and said, that sounds pretty good. So I took the original book, I turned it into a script that is still kind of floating out there in the ether.

It's amazing anything gets made. It's amazing anything gets made. There are so many many pending projects. There must be a million pending projects for everything that gets made. But then I decided earlier this year, you know what? The script is so much better than the original book. Let's do a book based on the script based on the book. And so it's kind of come full circle. But this, I guarantee you, this is much better than the last time around.

You're underselling it. I enjoyed the first book that you wrote. I enjoyed The Quarterback of the Future. I still have some questions about what happened with Lonnie, if you rewrote a chapter where maybe Lonnie had HIV and you decided that didn't fit in the end.

Oh God, no, that didn't happen.

That was my theory.

That didn't happen in the rewrite either.

Okay.

All right.

All right. But I'm looking forward to reading it. Uh, so thank you. Thank you on behalf of the internet reading public.

See, I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic.

I'm gonna read every chapter.

I don't care, Mike.

I'm, I'm going to read every chapter. I promise you I will.

Okay. Sold. All right.

And it's free.

Completely free. Complete. I'm serious. No strings attached. Completely free. It's my gift to anybody who's ever come to PFT and who sufficiently cares enough to read it, it's going to be available. It's going to be free. I just don't care. It's just fun to create something other than the shit that I write every single day that just disappears into the ether by the next day. It's fun to write something that lasts a little bit longer.

Very cool.

All right, so Mike, let's talk some Week 6. Uh, what are you— what are you most looking— because, you know, we're right at the point where I think we're starting to get a feel for what teams are good, what teams are bad. Uh, where the season's gonna go. What are you most looking forward to? What game or storyline, uh, coming up on Week 6?

Well, in past years there's always been right around this time what I call Correction Sunday. Oh yeah, where the narratives that we've baked in get flipped on their head. And could it be something as drastic as the Chargers beating the Chiefs? The Chiefs at 4-0, the Chargers at 0-5. I think it's only been 3 times since the merger that a team 4-0 or better has lost to a team 0-4 or worse. Could that happen in Kansas City? Could the Chiefs be a little flat? We know how great they've been historically under Andy Reid when they have a bye week. But, you know, every time we think we've got it all figured out, we find out that we don't. So that's just one of those— we just assume the Chiefs are going to show up and roll the Chargers. The Chargers are never going to be any more desperate than they are on Sunday because their bye week comes next.

Yeah.

And I assume somebody's getting fired. Somebody's getting fired if they lose, whether it's Mike McDaniel, whether it's all the way up to Jim Harbaugh. I don't know, but I assume somebody's out if they go 0-6 into the bye when the expectation was they'd get back to the playoffs and actually win a postseason game this year.

All right, so Correction Sunday, I like that. Uh, it's usually— I call it the day that I lose all my money because it does happen. It's, it's—

I thought that was any day ending in a Y.

No, but it's— listen, it's clockwork. There's always like Somewhere around week 4 to 8, it's like every single bet and like, you know, it would be the public just loses, you know what I mean? The, the, the, the, the books win and the public loses. So if they do fire someone in their bye week, when are they going to start doing a little bit of a fire sale? I know Khalil Mack has been rumored. I want the Bears to trade for him, but are there other pieces that might be gone from the Chargers if they're like, hey, this season is so far gone, we got to try to get something back out of it.

Well, they moved the trade deadline a couple of weeks ago from the Tuesday after Week 8 to the Tuesday after Week 9, so that gives teams a little bit longer to assess, are we still alive, do we have a chance. And a lot of times it comes down to the last couple of Sundays before the trade deadline that a team that wins instead of loses all of a sudden isn't selling off assets. But I think if the Chargers fall to 0-6 and they have a 2-week runway until their next game That's plenty of time to look around. And really, any veteran who's in the last year of a contract, like a Khalil Mack, that player becomes a candidate to be traded to another team. And really, anybody else where they've just decided, hey, there's an opportunity to turn this player into future assets, and we don't view this person as somebody who's going to be around long haul that we're going to want to invest in— maybe he's got another contract coming up, whatever the case may be. be. But it's an opportunity to look at everything. But the problem is, if you create that sense that there's a fire sale, what happens?

The offers that come in aren't any good. So you have to be very strategic and very careful about it. You have to act like you're not planting a fire sale sign in the front yard. But meantime, it's an opportunity to, to make yourself better in the future by moving on now from guys that you're otherwise going to see walk away in free agency. Or if there's a guy you think you're going to cut after this Because you don't get compensatory draft picks for guys who you cut. If he's got a contract with a bloated salary the next year, we're going to cut him anyway. Let's get something for him now and let's move on. But why wouldn't you look at every guy on the roster if you're the LA Chargers, if they lose on Sunday?

Yeah, it's fair. For, for the last year, maybe year and a half, we've seen a lot of GMs talking about the 2027 NFL Draft as being the big one, being loaded with talent, to the point where we see a lot of teams, you know, preferring to deal 2028 picks picks whenever they can, just under the assumption that 2027 is going to be a big draft year. Is that sense still the same around the league, or has it cooled off a little bit as this college football season's gone through, you know, the first month and a half?

I know that's still out there, but that's just kind of fumes of the talk during the 2026 draft. We have seen time and again how one football season will change everything. Nobody had Fernando Mendoza as the number 1 overall pick entering the 2025 season. So there's still a lot that needs to be determined. Draft picks are significant capital in any year. They are the easiest way to make your team better. Those players, because of the rookie wage scale that the NFL got in the 2011 CBA, it is the best way to build your team because you get the guy for 4 years, maybe 5 years if he's a first-round pick, and relative to what veterans cost, it is so cheap. So I think teams are always always leery about giving away draft picks, and that makes teams that have assets that could help another team win now— you give up that asset, the team's willing to leverage some of its future, and then you get a chance to make yourself better.

Uh, Mike, is Josh Jacobs going to play this year?

I thought that he was until the developments of the past 24 hours or so. There's a video that was shot by a camera that he has in his house, in his garage, that captured the altercation that happened on May 23rd that caused him to enter a no-contest plea for battery. And the judge that presided over his criminal case has said that the information can be released. It's up to the police department to determine through a balancing of public interest and all these other factors. But now Josh Jacobs has filed a lawsuit suit seeking a court order that permanently restricts that evidence. And he's laid out some arguments that on the surface, it makes sense. You want to protect the identity of the victim, even if it's blurred AI or superintelligence. I don't want to be regarded as an enemy of the people by not calling it by its new official name, but there could be ways to see who she is. And from his perspective, you see this shot of the inside of his house, you can maybe figure out his address, and we've seen plenty of players homes be burglarized in recent years when they're out of town.

But it's hard not to think he's just trying to keep the NFL from seeing this thing.

Right.

Because he fears what the NFL is going to do. And if I'm the NFL, my position is, hey, man, you're not playing again until we see this. Because they don't want to have a repeat of the Ray Rice case.

Right.

Where they let the guy come back, TMZ gets the video, all hell breaks loose, and the commissioner almost has to resign over it. That's how bad it was in September of 2014. So if I'm the league, league, my position is, hey man, you're not playing again until we see that video.

So is he— if this video never sees the light of day, he's just not going to play again?

Well, that's what I would tell him if I were the league. I don't know what the league is going to do. He may— we don't know what the video shows, right? But look what happened when we saw the video from the Ray Rice incident. He never played again, right? And it's so different to know what happened and to see it, right? Video changes everything. And once we saw that video, even though we knew that he knocked his then-fiancée unconscious in an elevator in Atlantic City, we knew it happened. But when you see it, it changes everything. And it could be that he knows from seeing that video, once they see it, he's just going to be done. That's the only reason why I could think of that he'd be trying to keep the NFL from seeing it, because the NFL has to see it. How could you not see it if you're the NFL?

I agree.

So I think that's, that's gonna That's going to keep this paid leave extended beyond week 6 for Josh Jacobs.

What about Tyreek Hill? The, uh, the, the ruling that just came through, was it 2 out of 10 charges he found liable for? Uh, is that a similar circumstance where Goodell is not going to want him back in the league?

Well, it's similar, but it's different because the personal conduct policy only kicks in when you've got a criminal violation. This is a civil finding by a jury, a much lower standard, preponderance of the evidence, not proof beyond a reasonable doubt. But the NFL is already investigating Tyreek Hill based upon allegations his ex-wife made a year, 15 months ago, and that's still out there. And now you have this civil verdict on top of it, and the NFL is going to want to figure out what, if anything, it will do by way of punishing Tyreek Hill. And you've got 2 incidents that a jury has found that he committed domestic battery. That could be— if the NFL treats them as separate, that could be a baseline suspension of 12 games. So I know that his agent Drew Rosenhaus is trying to create this impression that he could be joining a team soon. I don't know who touches this guy because he may go straight to paid leave just like Terrion Arnold did when the Seahawks signed him right before the start of the season. You get put on paid leave while the NFL figures all of this out.

That's what could happen if someone signs him and he's not healthy. As this trial was happening, guys, I'm just thinking it's hard to imagine Tyreek Hill coming back to the NFL anytime soon, no matter— all due respect. to Drew Rosenhaus. It's hard to imagine a team signing him with all of these clouds out there and the question of whether or not he's healthy.

So that question naturally kind of lends itself to what are the Chiefs going to do, because everyone was kind of penciling in, oh well, they had an injury at wide receiver, no deep threat, oh, we'll just count on maybe Tyreek Hill is going to come back. Um, do they have plans?

They added Justin Watson recently to the practice squad during their bye week. And they've been linked to Tyreek Hill for a long time, back before Tyreek Hill suffered the knee injury that has put him out of the NFL for more than a year. The Chiefs were interested in trading for him. He was in his last year with the Dolphins. They were going to cut him after the season. It felt like they were going to trade him, and if he hadn't gotten injured, maybe they would have traded him to the Chiefs back then. So it makes sense for him to come back to the Chiefs. Mike Silver of The Athletic had an article 10 days ago with quotes from Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, Chris Jones, Jones, they'd welcome him back. But you've got the PR hit from the civil jury finding of 2 counts of battery. You've got the uncertain status from the NFL's personal conduct policy, the possibility that the civil verdict would be enough to get the NFL to put him on paid leave while they figure all of this out. There's just too many questions. And if you're making this move, you need answers.

You don't need something that is going to maybe help you out You're not talking about 3 months down the road or next season. You're looking for help right now.

Hmm.

Mike, I want to commend you for something. You were standing up for the little guy when it came to the fact that we couldn't watch the start of the 49ers-Seahawks game, which that happened to— we have 8 TVs in our gambling cave and we were watching overtime Commanders-Giants and we were like, where is the Seahawks-Niners game? What's the fix for this? Why can't we watch every single game? when it's on. I understand maybe you have to change the channel, I get that, but it's crazy to pay this money as consumers and not be able to watch every snap of NFL football.

I don't remember this being an issue when DirecTV had the package, but I noticed 2 other times already this year, and I thought at the time, well, I should write something about that, I should say something about it, but it gets lost in all of the stuff that's going on on any given Sunday. But when it happened this past week, I noticed a lot of people complaining about it, and I looked into it. And on my DVR, because I've got Sunday Ticket and I have all the games on my DVR, I get the direct feed from NBC, so I don't have to use Sunday Ticket during the day. But I went back Monday morning before our show to watch 49ers-Seahawks, and I turned it on, and there's 4:47 left in the first quarter. It's like, where's the, where's the rest of the game? So this is a very simple explanation. If you have access to the game in your local market, it's blacked out on Sunday Ticket. So 49ers-Seahawks is blacked out on your Sunday Ticket because it's available on your Fox affiliate, but it wasn't available on your Fox affiliate, but it was still blacked out on Sunday Ticket.

So you paid your $400 so you can watch all the games and you still can't watch 49ers-Seahawks. And there are a lot of 49ers-Seahawks fans who were pissed off that they weren't able to watch the 10 minutes and 13 seconds of clock time in that game. Touchdowns, there were turnovers. Hell, you don't know what you're gonna miss while you're stuck watching a game on your local affiliate that you didn't wanna watch and you've paid the money to watch them all. And I sent the league an email Monday or Tuesday.

That's why I love you, Mike. This is why I love you.

Isn't that a fair question?

Yeah.

Are you gonna do anything about this? And here's how they deal with me. If it's something they're willing to answer, they'll answer it right away. If it's something they don't wanna answer, they ignore me and they make me remember to ask again. And sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't. So far I've forgotten to ask again.

Send another email.

This has got to be a simple thing for YouTube to do where you lift the blackout while the game is not available in your local market, and then somebody somewhere presses a button once Giants-Commanders ends and it's not available on DirecTV and it is available on your Fox affiliate. It should be that simple.

Is there one guy at the NFL League offices who's just responsible for answering your emails, and does that guy have the worst job In the world.

Yes, yes.

He's just— what, Max? Max got a question.

I have a question. Yeah, is there still someone doing the play-by-play of that game even though it, it can't be seen anywhere?

Oh yeah, because it's on. That's a great question, Max. It's on in San Francisco and it's on in Seattle. Yeah, it is on there. The bonus coverage is only in the places that aren't getting the 49ers-Seahawks game game because, you know, they say all the time 83% of all games are on free TV, which is misleading. 83% of all games are on free TV in the local market, and the home game and the road game for the local team is always on in the local market. So when 4:25 came around on Sunday, or 1:25 Pacific, everybody in Seattle, everybody in San Francisco was seeing 49ers-Seahawks on their Fox affiliate.

Yeah, yeah, good question.

So wait, do you know this person at the NFL, uh, league offices? It just has to be— he's on the floor And he just— so that guy comes home from work every day and his wife's like, how was your day? It's like, uh, fucking Florio emailed me 17 times.

Hey, when Paul Hicks was the head of communications at the NFL, they hired him 2011, 2012, something like that. I was talking to him within a year or so after he got the job, and he said, you know, for a while I thought your first name was fucking because all I ever heard was fucking Florio.

I love it. You got to stay that way, Mike.

All right.

I got a gun to your head question. Gun to your head. Gun to your head. Mike Florio, who is calling Monday Night Football with Joe Buck next year?

Ooh.

Travis Kelce.

Whoa. Okay.

Whoa.

Didn't see that one coming, Mike.

That's a good fan fiction from Mike. You asked me a question, Mike.

I know.

I love it. You do. Like you could have given us any name that would have been like, oh, that's boring. Travis Kelce. That's interesting.

Last year, last year, Travis Kelce and Greg Olsen were inquiring with Amazon about whether or not the Prime Video spot would be available this year, and Kirk Herbstreit was still under contract. So Kelce was looking at this last year. He's already got the relationship with Amazon with New Heights, but his brother's already got the relationship in place with ESPN, and he's going to be the one want. He's going to be the one they all want. And as it stands, CBS is going to be looking, ESPN is going to be looking, and Prime Video did that extension with Herb Street which basically has a clause that says if we find anyone better, we can tear up your contract. So there could be a 3-way bidding war for Travis Kelce, and I think they're all going to want him, and I think he's going to be in a booth somewhere next year.

A gun to your head again, Tony Romo has called his last NFL Yes.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

What's he gonna do? Is he gonna go to Fox and be on the number 5 team?

That's— I agree with that. I agree. I think he's gonna go studio. I think someone's gonna hire him in studio.

He could do like a podcast or something. I don't know. He could go work for the Cowboys as quarterbacks coach. Jerry Jones loves him. He'll have a future somewhere. But how do you take a spot less than the one you had? And who is going to give him a spot that has the same profile as the one that he occupied? I don't see in this game of musical chairs that's going to have Troy Aikman, Greg Olsen, Travis Kelce, JJ Watt, as CBS, ESPN, and Prime Video look around. I don't see any of those networks, especially not CBS, obviously, but I don't see ESPN or Prime Video saying we need to go get Tony Romo.

That's fair.

You got another gun?

Mike, I got another gun on me.

I didn't put my guns away.

You can just use the same gun.

No, no, these are new guns. I got a shotgun.

The camera on Max. Max has guns on you too.

So does—

so, so—

oh, look at that. Look at Zach's got a couple pieces on you.

Well, at least one's not being pointed at me.

Yeah, I'm throwing, I'm throwing one more name and you tell me if this is going to be involved in musical chairs in the next— we'll even call it 2 years. Sean McVay.

Ooh, Sean McVay is a definite possibility. Sean McVay. I need to be careful what I say.

No.

Okay.

No, no, you got a gun to your head. Of course you got to be careful. I'll fucking shoot.

I believe that Prime Video very much wanted to hire Sean McVay after Super Bowl 56, and he decided to stay with the Rams for another year. I also believe that after that next year where things didn't go so well— I remember there was a lot of chatter, there was a lot of noise that maybe McVay was going to tap out— I think he may have called up Amazon and said, hey, is that job still open? And they're like, well, this is how contracts work, Sean. We have a contract in place with someone that we would have to buy out in order to hire you. So no, the spot's not open. So I think that based on that history, I think Prime Video would be very interested in Sean McVay, assuming that he would be their first choice. I mean, if they get Travis Kelce, I think Travis Kelce is going to be everyone's first choice, but I think McVay would quite possibly be in play depending upon how the rest of this year goes. Now, as he's explained it on the record, he told us this at the owner meetings in Arizona, he, he has come to terms with the highs and the lows and the ups and the downs, and he just loves the process, and he's not going to allow himself to get beaten down by a bad year.

But when you look at a year like this where we're just ready to hand them the trophy in August, they're 2-3. If this doesn't turn around, if for some reason they don't make the playoffs, which I think they got 5 winnable games coming up and they'll be 7-3 going into their bye week and then into the Wednesday night night before Thanksgiving game against the Packers, and they'll have a chance to do everything that they were expected to do. But if they make— if they fail to make a run at the playoffs, who knows? Who knows? And if Amazon shows up with $25 million a year or whatever they would offer him, who knows what he'll do?

All right, knife to your throat, do the Vikings win the NFC North?

I have no idea. I have no idea. Come on, Mike!

Oh, bam! I just slit your throat. Here, blood everywhere.

to lay out— you want to lay out the whole scenario, and I know this from the past 53 years of following the Vikings.

Damn, you're old.

They'll win the NFC North, they'll be the number 1 seed in the NFC, they'll win in the divisional round, and then there'll be some screwy-ass thing that happens that will cause them to lose in the NFC Championship. That's how this is going to go. So Vikings fans everywhere, I think, can join me in this saying I am ready to have my heart removed from my chest and shown to me again.

Yeah, I love it.

Yeah, I mean, they're a good team. The NFC North's tough. It's always tough. I mean, the last few years, it's every team's over .500 right now, and you could make a case for each of them.

If the Vikings finish in first place in that division, if they, if they get the 1 seed overall, if their defense finishes top of the league in every statistical category like it looks like they are right now, is there a world in which Brian Flores does not get hired? in the offseason because of the ongoing litigation that he has, or will the NFL ask one team, hey, we— somebody has to hire this guy because we're going to get sued if none of us do?

Well, I mean, they already have been sued along with 6 teams, and this thing has been lingering for 4 and a half years, mainly because the NFL spent all of that time trying to get the case out of the court system and into the NFL's preferred forum, which I call call the Secret Rigged Court of— wait, Secret Rigged Kangaroo Court of Arbitration.

We gotta get a better name for that.

S-R-C-K-A.

All right, yeah.

Anyway, we're still very early in the case, and he hasn't been seriously considered for a head coaching job over the past couple of years. We went into this past offseason thinking there's no way he's not going to be seriously considered. Now look at what they did down the stretch. Look at what their defense did to the Lions. They beat the Lions on Christmas Day and killed their playoff hopes with Max Brosmer at quarterback. They completely shut down the Lions. They've cracked the code on how to defend Jared Goff. What Brian Flores is doing is incredible. It's unparalleled in the NFL right now. But, but we know how the NFL is. It's one company with 32 branches. When you sue one, you sue them all. The document that came out this week that was generated by Korn Ferry in one of the many Raiders coaching searches over the past few years. It just oozes with contempt for Brian Flores. I don't see Brian Flores getting a head coaching job in the NFL. It will stun me. They will be acting completely out of character if any of the 32 teams makes him its head coach. So I don't think it's going to happen while the case is pending.

There's a chance it never happens. There's a chance that the settlement of his lawsuit, if he will ever take take an offer from the NFL. He may say, no matter what you offer, I'm never going to take it. I want to take this to court, and I want everyone to see what the evidence is, and I want a jury to issue a finding in this case. But there could be a number that's so big he, he agrees to never be a head coach in the NFL. We'll just see how it all plays out. But I, I think it's, it's unlikely at this point that he'll ever be an NFL head coach again, and I think it's very unlikely he'll be one while the case is still going forward.

Okay, super interesting. Um, can we talk about the Eagles a because some news just broke today. Uh, we weren't able to cover it when we did the weekend preview because it happened before the news happened. Um, but, uh, Jalen Hurts blood clot, it sounds like it's not super— I mean, it's always serious, but it sounds like it's not like life-threatening at this moment. But he's going to be held out for a little bit and maybe put on blood thinners, so nobody really knows how long he's going to be out for. Um, what do the Eagles do in this circumstance? Do they bring back Andy Dalton?

Well, Andy Dalton supposedly is looking at offers from multiple teams. They cut Andy Dalton in part because—

Lane Johnson.

They're carrying Lane Johnson on the roster, and so they're going with a 52-man roster because they need to keep him on the team until June 2nd, 2027, or they'll have a cap charge in 2027 that will not be good, to say the least, as it relates to their efforts to balance the books. So they're already operating with a 52-man roster. They cut Dalton. Tanner McKee is going to have his first meaningful start. They'd like to bring Dalton back to back up Tanner McKee for Sunday, but it's a mess right now. And this whole Hurts thing, here's how I found out about it. They played in London last week, and our show PFT Live is on Sky Sports, and we've got a surprisingly large following there. One of the viewers emailed me yesterday saying, hey, I got a friend who works at one of the hospitals here. Jalen Hurts was at the hospital over the weekend for a blood clot or something. something. And so I didn't think much of it because, like, how in the hell do you ever track that one down? And then Jalen Hurts, when he was talking to the media yesterday, had this really strange comment about this calf injury that popped up on the injury report on Friday.

He said it was a very unique experience, I don't really want to talk about it. And that's when we started scratching a little bit, and the Eagles eventually issued that statement. And obviously he's out, they have to do something about it because the blood clot's moved. But he played last week with that blood clot, and they didn't tell anybody about it other than then he fully participated in practice on Friday with a calf injury. They never said he was questionable over the weekend. And it just speaks to how much inside information is really out there and how little the people who are making their bets truly have about what's going on, because the injury reporting requirements are so basic, they're so easy to comply with. And, you know, one of these days, the people who are putting up their hard-earned money are going to have a better snapshot of what's really happening before they make their decisions.

The statement that they released did kind of scream of COVID your ass. There were so many details that came out. It's like, why are you— why are What's the purpose of this, like, information overload? So I don't know what, what story they were trying to get ahead of. Sounds like you were sniffing around.

I was sniffing around. I mean, you know, I don't waste my time on things that I don't think are a story, but if something comes along and I think this just seems weird— and the way that Jalen Hurts talked about the calf injury last night made me say there's something weird about this, there's more to this story. And they say in their statement, guys, that they were in contact with the league the whole time. time, don't you at some point change his status for the game to questionable?

Yeah.

Because wasn't it, wasn't it at some point less than 100% chance, less than a certainty that he's going to play on Sunday? He's got a blood clot in his leg, for crying out loud. So they, they are covering their ass and they're kind of blaming the league because they would say now, well, the league didn't tell us that we needed to make him questionable, but he clearly should have been. And I don't know how much money we're talking about. I don't know how many people it affects. But, you know, if you're putting down money on a prop bet, over-under on his rushing yards, whatever the case may be, you just like to have that information before you make your decisions.

All right, Mike, I got one last question. Then we have Zach having a question. So your, your co-host Chris Simms, who he's— Chris Simms is a football nut. I respect his opinion on football knowledge. He watches the tape. What's the, what's the take that Chris Simms is working on right now that has the internet most madder?

him?

Because I like— because usually he, he comes out ahead a lot on those, but he sees it before other people. So is there a quarterback that's not playing up to level, or a team that he's like looking at? What, what's the one that he's got going right now?

I'm not aware of any right now that has a fan base completely and totally up in arms. The Eagles fan base for multiple years was out to get Chris Simms because he's been saying that maybe Jalen Hurts isn't as good as people think he is, and maybe he's not what the Eagles need need long term. He's not running the offense the way the offense needs to be implemented. We had a game in Philadelphia at some point within the past couple of years, and there were a couple of yayhoos that were heckling him, and I think they got, they got tossed when we walked out onto the field. So he's gotten it hard from the Eagles fans over the years, but some of the Eagles fans, a lot of the Eagles fans have been coming around more recently. I'm not aware of anything right now though that's got everybody fired up. I try to ignore all that stuff. Life's a hell of a lot easier.

I agree.

Just keep your head down and you keep going forward. There's always going to be something that people are upset That's fast. But isn't that why we're here?

Yeah.

I told my wife, back when we had the comments section that contributed to the, to the birth of my internet son, she said, she said, have, have you looked at the stuff that people say about you on here? And I said, don't, don't read them.

Can't read them.

Don't read them.

The same passion that gets them to say those things is the passion That gets them to come to the website. That's why they love football, and people are passionate about their teams, and they get upset. And they— I'd rather they let me hear it there than see me walking through the airport and hit me with a sock full of pennies.

Oh damn, that'd be funny though.

That hasn't happened yet.

You get one of those through security, you deserve to use it.

Yeah, you're right, you're right. No, we, we, we— the don't read the comments, it's a struggle, but it's It's the best way to live if you're in this job. All right. Rhoback question. Rhoback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rhoback.com, promo code TAKE. Zach, hit Mike with your last question.

I did have a quick question, sir. Are there any teams currently pulling the wool over our eyes? Like, do you have any teams on your going to get exposed soon list?

Oh, good question.

Yeah, that is a great question. Usually when somebody says it's a great question, it means I'm just trying to buy some time.

No, no, no.

No, on the contrary, they, they mean it.

No, that's why we repeat it. Good question. Great question.

Well, no, but I'm saying it's a great question for that purpose. I, I'm still skeptical.

You didn't have to say that.

I still am skeptical.

No, you can't pick the Vikings.

Yeah. And also you didn't have to tell Zach that it wasn't a good question. You're just, you're saying—

Well, it was a good question, but it also had a dual purpose. It was a very good question because it caused me to need time. And so I said it's a good question so it would give me time. I mean, do we really think the 49ers can sustain this with all the injuries they have?

Yeah.

It's amazing when you think about all the stuff they have gone through. They're dealing with the urban legend with the substation, which even if there's nothing to it, it's rattling around in the brains of their players. And you don't want that in there. You don't want guys thinking that they're going to be more susceptible to injury because of this giant electrical substation that's right next to their practice field. And then Kyle Shanahan gets in the car accident just days before the start of training camp, and he's not around for some of the most formative sessions and meetings. things of the season that lays the foundation for the whole year. And then the owner has a misadventure in a trailer park in East Palestine, Ohio. And then the injuries are happening left and right and over and over again, and they're 5-0 and they look great. It really is amazing what they did to the— for— to the Seahawks on Sunday was impressive. But you know, the Seahawks— I mean, you take away the turnovers and the Seahawks win that game by multiple scores. But the 49ers went in there and they beat the Seattle Seahawks, and they're 5-0.

And the Seahawks are 2 games behind and the Rams are 3 games behind. And who would have dreamed that that would be the case? But you just feel like there's going to be a critical mass of injuries that it's going to be very hard for them to recover from. And I don't— I never want to be accused of putting a malocchio on anyone, but when you look at how much Brock Purdy and Christian McCaffrey mean to that team, if you're missing either guy, you're going to have a problem in San Francisco. Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Um, there was one other thing that, that Big Cat and I talked about earlier in the show and it's the Titans and what the situation like there, how it's unfolding, because it doesn't, it doesn't feel like Cam Ward is going to be the future of that team. And the way things are going, it's a lot of bad vibes. Is there any chance that it's going to be a one-and-done situation for that new coaching staff, or are they committed? It might look bad this year, even if you don't get results out of the quarterback that you said you wanted to build around. If that doesn't work out, is there any chance that they just pull the plug after one year?

Well, I remember when the Browns fired Rob Chudzinski after one year. My first reaction was, well, how can you fire a guy after one year? And somebody from the Browns reached out and gave me a list of all the guys who have been fired after one year, dating back to Ray Rhodes after one year in the '90s. So it happens far more often than we realize, and I think everything's on the table in Tennessee. The problem in Tennessee is identical to the problem with the other other dysfunctional teams. And Big Cat, as you taught me years ago, dysfunctional teams do dysfunctional things. I still try to give you credit for that.

Yep.

But there are— I mean, we know the teams that fall into that bucket, and look at what Tennessee has been. It's this weird power struggle that is constantly going on. And the owner, Amy Adams Strunk, she'll have whoever it is that she gives the power to, and then a year later that person's gone and somebody else has the power and the influence. And then a year later, it's someone else. It's like Game of Thrones meets the Isle of Misfit Toys. And they just can never develop any real continuity, any consistency. They got a new stadium coming. They just fired a bunch of executives, including the person that redesigned their uniforms, and their new uniforms actually look pretty good. It's just this odd situation. And one of the things I love and hate about the NFL, these businesses are worth $10, $12, $15 billion each. They're operated like a family-owned food truck, for crying out loud. It's a mom-and-pop situation. And a lot of times you get these ownership groups, there's no test you have to take. You got to take 2 tests to get a driver's license, zero tests to own an NFL team. Either show up with the most money when a team's for sale, or you're the person who's named in the will.

And there's no other requirement to know how to run a business. And for a lot of these bad teams, and it's not just the Titans, it's the Browns under Jimmy Haslam, it's the Cardinals, it's the Dolphins to a certain extent, although Stephen Ross has taken a step back and maybe things will get better one of these days. But ownership— bad ownership— the Jets with Woody Johnson— bad ownership infects everything, and I think that's the problem in Tennessee.

Yeah.

All right, Mike, you're the best. Congrats on 25 years. Thank you.

I haven't made it yet. I still got 2 more weeks.

You got this.

You got this.

Do that stand on your head.

Yeah, just as long as no one shows up with the pennies or the NFL You know, the NFL—

one of these days the NFL is gonna realize it would have been a hell of a lot easier for us if we just would have killed this guy 20 years ago.

It's like a CIA conspiracy.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right, well, we'll, we'll investigate it if that happens.

I'll avenge you.

I'll avenge your death. I promise that.

Will you come to my funeral? If the NFL were to kill me, would you come to my funeral?

I would. Yeah, I would go to your funeral. I would also— I would avenge your death.

Okay, good.

If I'm in the will, I'll go to the funeral.

As long as it's not on like a Monday, Thursday, Wednesday, Sunday, Saturday.

We do the show live from the funeral home.

You can do the show from the casket.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We get special guests in there with you for the last time.

Mike Florio.

All right, Mike, thanks. You're the best.

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Okay, Fyre Fest time.

Henry, Nothing crazy. 2 minor ones. The first one is just in, in the last week, 4 days, my phone is just— it dies at a rapid rate now.

Well, it's time. Yeah, yeah.

That is one of those conspiracies where I'm like, maybe not.

It's not a conspiracy.

Shocking little amount of time, and then it's like your phone's about to die, and then it like— it has the— it slows down when you're below 20%.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I'd rather just work full speed and die than like give me the glitchy slow, like everything takes an extra second. Like, it's, it's annoying. It's annoying.

When a new one comes out, the next software update, it throttles the battery on the old ones.

Yeah.

And so then you have to get it. By the way, ordering the, the Fold phone today.

Nice.

Like that, memes?

That's very cool.

Yeah, it's probably gonna suck. It's probably gonna break like immediately. Yeah. So your phone's just been dead.

It's—

it happens every year.

I never—

usually if I, if I, you know, I get a full charge, I charge in my car and I don't have to think about it. And now it's like, I'm, you know, we've been at the office for like 5 hours. I'm on like 10%.

Yeah. That's just what they do. And it's like the apps are slow. Can I, can I say something that makes me seem— go ahead, memes. Go ahead. Go.

In the new updates, they make the update like 25 to 30 gigs. So you also— it also kills your storage. Oh, so that also makes you want to go buy a new one. Yeah.

Can I say something that will make me seem really old? But I, I just— it's been bothering me and I need to just say it. I, like most of you probably, I have just a shit— too many apps.

Yeah.

I mean, there's download apps, Download games, whatever. I don't know where any of my apps are. Whenever I need to use an app, I go to the store and search it.

The store.

Do you go to the store?

You can just scroll left.

I said I was going to be old.

If you scroll left, you just type in the name of the app.

Where you mean?

You come up, go to your home screen, then just scroll all the way to the left.

No, you can just swipe down. No, scroll, swipe down. And then you just search and it's anywhere.

Swipe down.

It depends on which— yeah.

Oh, I didn't know you could swipe down.

All right, swipe down.

Cool, cool, cool.

And then yeah, we could just delete that.

No, we're keeping that in. But I do the same thing. I have no idea where any of my apps are.

I just search every time.

I'll say the store— hey, going to the store keeps all the apps updated. Like, I'll go to park and I don't know where my— I don't know where my parking app is, so I'll have to go and search it, update Yeah, all right, so I'm old. I—

that was—

it's an old guy move.

No, that's just—

you need—

you needed a tip. You needed to know that quick tip.

Yeah, but that's an old guy tip.

That just saved you like 20 minutes.

Yeah, but now my apps are going to be slow because I'm not up— I'm updating apps constantly.

No, I think updating apps makes it slower.

Yeah, you also update automatically.

Automatically.

Yep.

Yeah, you shouldn't have to update them. The only times you'll have to update them if you haven't used them in a long time and then you have to re-download it.

Yeah, no, I, I have mine updating automatically.

Yeah, I don't think I have mine updating automatically.

I definitely don't care.

I think they automatically do.

Yeah.

No, I think there's an option.

No, sometimes.

But no, because I remember I didn't update Twitter for the longest time trying to like hold out.

Same.

And it never updated automatically.

Eventually mine just updated automatically.

Oh no, I eventually was just like, it was like breaking and I was just like, fuck, I have to do this.

Yep. Like my YouTube could use an update right now. I'm not updating it.

I'm just— there are so many apps for everything. I got an app for my garage door, Fitness Pal. I have an app for like, yeah, for the, for the internet and for the router. 2 different ones. I've got, yeah, I've got 3 different fitness apps, 2 of which I haven't used in like a year.

Yeah, MyFitnessPal. I should get—

All right. So some, at some point, I got to clean up my desktop.

Yeah. Desktop. Yeah.

Yeah, your desktop. And then the only minor one was, which I don't— I haven't really gotten to the bottom of, but the call-out video we talked about earlier on Wednesday's show.

Yep.

I was wearing a black shirt.

Oh dude, you—

Beard dandruff.

Yeah, you, you kind of always have that.

Beard dandruff.

Yeah.

I got it too.

Jizz?

Yeah.

I—

you want us to start telling you?

Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Then I'm gonna have to tell you every day.

But yeah, I got you?

I thought— it's not a black shirt today.

I thought it was crumbs.

No, I, I thought it was cr— it could be crumbs.

It might be crumbs.

I've, I've found I use like dandruff shampoo in my beard and it—

and it— it's disgusting if that's what that is.

That's 100% what it is.

Yeah, I know it is.

100%. That's disgusting.

Sorry.

What'd you have for lunch before you, before you did the call-out video?

I don't remember.

It's tough to do a call-out video when you've got beard dandruff.

That's tough.

He's also sneaky one of our messiest eaters.

Definitely.

Yeah, you always get— you and Max always got shit.

I had spaghetti.

I actually had spaghetti because when I went to make the call video, I had sauce all over my face.

That's a funny thing to say that you had for lunch. I had spaghetti for lunch.

Well, we got—

I—

we got, we got, we got, uh, this on Monday. We got meat spaghetti. I got spaghetti meatballs a day. I asked for meatballs. I just wanted meatballs. Memes got me spaghetti and meatballs. It was a huge plate.

It's Memes' fault.

No, I just—

I, I would not—

It's Memes. So yeah, it is.

It's clearly objectively, objectively funny. to eat spaghetti at work.

He just wanted to eat leftovers.

Leftover spaghetti, meatballs. And I didn't even ask for the spaghetti. I just asked for meatballs.

You just want spaghetti and a blue Gatorade?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For, for the record, it was dinner because I think lunch spaghetti is very funny.

But leftover—

but yeah, like if you ordered— if you're like, what are you gonna do for lunch? I'm gonna order some spaghetti. That's a psycho.

Yes.

Yeah.

If it's leftovers from the night before, that makes sense.

Yes, yes, yes. But yeah, yeah, I might have to get some dandruff shampoo. But yeah, something I got to think about now, which I didn't think about before.

I think maybe you have to redo the callout video.

No, that's—

yeah, maybe add me and Max. Pussy.

We got to see how these other ones go.

But yeah, I would like to play me and Max scramble versus you. Okay.

Yeah. Wait, so you're calling You're calling Hank out.

Yeah, you know what, Max and I are calling Hank out. Yep.

Yeah.

In. Yeah, so that way when you switch back to righty and you try to talk shit, we'll be like, yeah, but we beat your ass lefty.

But that's one, that's one where we're like, we kind of have to win.

We have to win.

It's like that, then Hank goes on the opposite of like—

Yeah, no, it's a must-win.

Yeah, it's a must-win for us.

So you beat Donnie?

Yep.

Even though there was cheating allegations. And by the way, I talked to Donnie about it, and the way that he framed it made it seem like he didn't actually cheat.

No, I mean, the whole video's out now. Like, it's, it's again, like, I'm on his kind of on his side. Like, it's— people are a little bit crazy with the golf rules, but the rules are the rules. I didn't make up the rules. The rules are the rules. By the letter of the rules, he cheated and I won. But, but it's not that serious.

Sounds, sounds serious if he cheated. It's like the big thing.

I'm not saying everyone else— people are saying everyone else is saying he's cheated and that he's a scumbag. And like, he He— it was a really classless move. But like, I, I— it's really— it's a casual round amongst friends. But yeah, in the, in the callouts, so we gotta like— like, when me and PFT, like, we're gonna have to play, you know, by the book because these people get really upset if you don't.

Yeah.

Well, did you see any red stakes on that course?

There, there wasn't. I actually— the, the people at the course clarified that he cheated.

Oh.

Oh, so they reached out and said he should have— yeah, he should have had to hit from farther back.

Oh, that's, that's bullshit.

Yeah, but yeah, it's like, who takes golf that seriously? Like, it's, it's, it's not Not me.

Unless you're calling somebody out.

Well, yeah, even that for filming content, it's like you gotta like—

yeah, it's like you can challenge somebody, that's just golf amongst friends. But when you call somebody out, that's— that to me, that says serious golf.

Ben, when me and you play, it's like we would never— I would never make you re-tee or like do any of that stuff. But if you're, you know, filming a call-out video, it has to happen.

I don't want it to happen.

Ball in hole.

Yeah, that's the call. That's the call-out.

No gimmes.

Call-out culture.

Yeah, I want to see that putt drop.

Well, that's the handicap people. It's like, oh, you—

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Discrimination?

Yes, yes. The handicap committee.

If you do gimmes, then they sound really bad when you put it like that.

Yeah, no, the handicap—

all the handicap people are like, they're the worst.

They're the worst. All right. PFT.

Yeah, pretty clean week except for the fact I lost my wallet. So I'm dealing with ramifications of that from over the weekend. And you don't really use your wallet that much anymore, though, right?

No.

I mean, it's more just like the wallet itself.

But somebody else could use your wallet so much.

Well, I— so I tracked it down.

That's probably going to go for thousands on the black market.

Oh, yeah.

What is it, Velcro?

Yeah, it's really nice Velcro. RFID blocking technology. It's a very expensive Sublime sticker. It does not— I wish. It's a very expensive wallet that looks like like it was a very cheap wallet in 1996.

That wallet was not expensive.

I'll tell you how much it was. And actually, this is big time earmuffs, big time own goal, because this is me saying that this was an expensive wallet. It was $55. Oh, OK. It's not expensive, which is— that's kind of expensive for me. I don't really buy wallets that much.

There's like— I thought you were going to say like $1,500.

Yeah, I don't really buy wallets that much.

I never— my wallet right now, I just got a new wallet. And by new wallet, I mean I put a bunch of black electrical tape on the wallet I've had for 20 years.

There you go.

Burst open at the seams.

I only got a new wallet because I lost my old wallet.

There you go.

Yeah, I have a $20 wallet.

Pebble Beach, though. Yeah.

All the black tape on my wallet.

Just because I—

oh yeah, it almost looks like it's made out of electric tape.

It broke.

Which—

and I went—

don't show that to memes.

Oh yeah. Sorry, memes.

I had to— he had to tape his wallet together because there was so much cash in it.

Yeah, it was bursting at the seams. No, I went to the—

I went to the bank and I took out a card.

And the whole thing blew up like confetti just everywhere. I was like, this is a little embarrassing.

Yeah, I've got— so the wallet, I'll say this, it looks like it's a $10 wallet, but it's actually— I actually paid much more than $10 for it, which is pretty cool if you ask me. So I did lose it. I'm in the process of getting it back. It's getting mailed back to me because it was found in Michigan. Yeah, in Michigan.

Yeah.

So unfortunately, I've been trying to try to make do. So if I get pulled over, I'm kind of fucked.

What?

You can— like, everything's on your phone.

Yeah, you can pay for, for most stuff on your phone, which is great. So that's been a small nuisance. Besides that, pretty clean week, I'd say. But I did— I was reminded of the wallet getting left in Cleveland. And because I was clearing out my phone, as a matter of fact, I was deleting out a bunch of old screenshots that I had on my phone. And I just looked at the first handful of them just to be like, oh, what was it? What was I taking screenshots of? 2016. And I had correspondence between myself, the Q Arena in Cleveland. And I was blaming Hank because I didn't— I didn't remember this. Hank lost my wallet.

Yeah.

At the arena.

Yeah, I remember this. And I remember you blaming me. I don't remember how you losing your wallet was my fault.

It was.

It was your— yeah, I think it was. We were at the basketball game.

You existed.

And then I left and then you were following behind me and you didn't see that my wallet was on the seat.

Yeah. You didn't say anything.

Even though you had to step over it physically.

No, I thought you lost it.

No, it was, it was, it was, it was in the security. This one, I was trying to remember this too, but I do.

I think you lost your wallet.

It was, it was going through.

I was ahead of Hank.

It was going through the security and like the taking out your wallet. You just never picked it back up.

And then Hank was behind me and didn't remind me that I left it there. So Hank really lost.

Yeah, yeah, something like that. That's all fair. All right, then the Cavs won.

Then the Cavs won the next year. So good news for the Dune Coast Quillbacks. All right, let's go.

Yeah, huge. All right, mine's simple. I— we've actually been doing— it's probably a rugby team.

I also have another one, actually.

No, it's a baseball team. Minor league baseball team going to New Buffalo next year.

Dune Coast Quillbacks.

Yeah, love that.

What do you say?

You got— I mean, you know, I get like hyperfixated on foods. I'm addicted to cheapies.

Same. It's a problem.

Like, I got one today.

Yeah.

And someone's like, cheapie for Jared? Like, no.

I never thought that I would— cheese pizza is what we're calling cheapies. I never thought I would be the guy to go backwards in my, like, tastes and be like, yeah, I'm just cheese pizza now.

You should start rating.

Like, I'm not—

I ordered—

no, it's the same place Friday night. Like, I ordered a cheapie for my family. I usually get like a pepperoni for myself. I want cheapie. Yeah, I'm just a cheapie guy.

Yeah, it is a problem.

It's a really big—

I got—

yeah, this week I've had spaghetti and meatballs for lunch and Yeah, my problem's— and Wednesday I had GP.

So my problem is 2 days in a row. We've actually done a good job. I feel like health-wise we're doing good as a podcast with the new system of the food and the other, you know.

It is better.

I eat way less on Sundays. And I've actually— I've been going to the gym every day, been trying to move, either walk or lift. My problem though now is the Halloween candy showed up at my house way too early. So Like 6 giant bags of Halloween candy. My wife went to Costco and got them. And it's— it's October 15th. You can't expect that Halloween candy to last. I had— I had probably like 14 pieces of candy last night.

You have to get a gun safe and lock it up in there. You don't know the combination.

They're all so small. And I just kept on— the little small Reese's Cups. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Those calories don't count.

No, those are just like— it's like taking a vitamin.

Yeah, I could eat like— oh, I could eat probably 100.

You should actually do a challenge. Oh, could we eat 1,000?

You're talking the small, small ones that are like individually wrapped?

Yeah.

Yeah.

As a team, could we eat 1,000 during a football game?

Easily. Yes. How many people?

Maybe 6.

No, I don't want to do that because I don't want to not—

Yeah, you're right, because I love it so much. Yeah, you're right. Good point.

Also, PFT, this is not minor league baseball. It is actually the Northwoods Summer League Baseball.

Yeah. Madison Mallards.

Yeah, that's what I meant. Not like— obviously not affiliated with the actual—

yeah, yeah.

These are college players.

But yeah, also summer league.

This is— it's the number 2 league behind behind Cape Cod. Really good ballplayers. I would be, I would be excited.

It's the Mallards. I'm pumped.

And they're in that league.

They got a cool-looking mascot and they play like every night.

I know, like kids on my college team who played there. It's fun because it's really good baseball, but the— but it's a grind of a summer.

Yeah.

The Duck Blind in Madison, it was— I don't know what it is now. It was $20, all you can eat, all you can drink.

drink.

And you could get there an hour before first pitch. And it was like, actual, like good craft beer and shit. Yeah, it was just a mess.

That sounds so fun. I'm, I'm jealous.

Yeah, it's gonna be great.

I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to come to your house to watch a game.

Quills up. I don't know what they actually say. But it's a porcupine mascot.

Love that.

All right, Zach, finish us off.

Firefish of the week. I did have a pretty good week throughout the week until Probably last night, I ended up spending like an hour and a half, what I thought was looking for like a bat in my bedroom. But it turned out no bat, which is good.

Like a bat with a sock on it?

No, like a bat that flies. Like I, I've been having like on and off sleep habits. We won't get too far into sleep habits. But I have been having trouble falling asleep. And last night, I finally fell asleep at a good time. And then at like 3:30, I could have swore I got hit in the face with like a fluttering.

Okay.

Instantly got up and I was like, all right, that has to be an animal. Something came through the air ducts.

Yeah.

Because it was—

the noise it made was perfect wings, like perfect wings. So I started getting paranoid thinking there was a bat in my apartment because I'd seen this thing where bats can be in air ducts, like through apartment buildings. So I just like picked apart my entire closet and bedroom thinking there was a bat in there. And then I got even more nervous. I was like, oh, if I fell asleep with the lights on, That means nocturnal animals who are up in the day, in light time, they have rabies. So then I'm like, all right, I'm looking for a bat with rabies. And I just kind of spiraled for like an hour and a half, 2 hours, and ended up being nothing in the apartment, in the bedroom.

Were you just asleep the whole time?

I, I thought maybe it was a dream afterwards that had woke me up, but I was like for certain that I got hit in the face.

So damn.

Yeah, it was a great week other than that.

Do we think maybe I don't know, maybe a moth?

I know, because it was substantial, like substantial enough to where I was like unfolding all the sweatpants on my cloth, like looking between clothes. Because they also can like— they have really skinny bones, I was looking up, and they can like get tiny, tiny.

When you say that you've been watching videos about how bats can find themselves in air ducts, like, are we talking that night you watched a video about it?

I have like seen a thing like in passing that bats like take cover in buildings Like in the wintertime.

Okay. So, but it might be a bat and it might have bitten you and you might be a vampire.

No, no, no, no bites. No bites. I think I just, as soon as I thought about the bat thing in the air duct, I convinced myself it was a bat and there was, I don't think there was ever a bat.

Okay. So maybe a bird, maybe nothing.

I know now nothing, but for like an hour and a half, I was paranoid that it was definitely something.

Gotcha.

Damn.

I'm glad you're okay.

Yeah, I just feel like an idiot.

Yeah, but that—

it was a real concern though in the home.

I think you were still asleep. That happens to me. I've had like night terrors where I just think— yeah, where I used to like think I'd wake up. I haven't done it in a long time, but I'd wake up sometimes and like I'd have pieces of furniture in front of my door that I had moved because I had thought like someone was trying to get in.

Now, did you But you didn't remember the whole thing, right?

I would like vaguely remember. So I'd wake up and I'd be like, oh, fuck, that did happen. So it's like a weird state of being asleep and awake.

I was like, certain.

Yeah, you were definitely half asleep. For sure.

Yeah. Good news.

Yeah.

Other than that, great week.

Yeah.

Other than that, other than fighting bats in your sleep.

Great week.

I think I was up though. I was so up.

Nah, I know.

I was definitely Definitely up. I went peed, like, you know.

Okay, maybe you did.

Maybe you're up.

All right, good show, boys.

Numbers: 99, 3, 1, 28, 48, 11, 69, 4, 15.

Air always gets stuck. So annoying. What? Stupid cord.

It's funny.

It's not funny.

It's funny.

Can I have like a— I need like a something to hold like that.

There you go.

There you go.

You did it.

You did it.

Fucking DIY.

Learned how to search on iPhone today and how to put a cord over. Yep.

Hell yeah.

You got some, some 'tude on you, Memez.

Oh, he's just always got it too.

You're a number one 'tude guy.

I have no 'tude.

Let me ask a question for anyone who's still listening to the end of the show. If you tell your, your friend that you love them and they say nothing back, like, what is that? 79. I say to Memez, I love you, And he just goes, okay.

I say thank you.

It's like, it's so hurtful, man.

No, you don't say thank you. You're just like—

I say thank you.

Here's my impression of Meebs.

I say thank you.

Jets are screwed.

Did you tell anyone you love them? Uh, my parrot. So it's only for parrots?

Yeah.

So if any of us died here, you'd be fine?

I don't live anymore.

Well, all of us are gonna die.

I don't live in the land. What does that have to do with it?

You're not dead.

You don't entertain hypotheticals?

No.

15.

Oh, Jacob. Jacob.

Let's go, Jacob.

Shout out Tim Tebow.

Pablo Torre, back off.

No, go harder, Pablo.

Yeah, go harder.

At Tebow?

Yeah.

No.

Yeah. Yeah. Really go for it.

Yeah. The stuff is kind of weird.

Go for ignorance.

Go for it. It sounds like you've gotten it before, right, Jacob? So it's still just Colton memes and PFT. Yep.

What was that?

You've gotten it before. Wrong camera.

I've got it once before.

Number 2, other time I got hit by a car that day.

Yeah. Got any words of encouragement to memes?

Memes, you're doing great.

Okay, thanks, man.

Told you you're gonna get it.

PFT?

PFT? No, PFT, get fucked.

Yeah, get fucked, I guess.

Yeah, get fucked, buddy.

No, Jacob, PFT said maybe with the new playoff, Gators might make it.

I didn't say that. Memes is making stuff up. Memes is—

I hope so.

Memes just made that up.

Football games.

Memes just made that up. Memes, you're a piece of shit.

Love you guys. guys.

No, he doesn't. He doesn't love you. Happy birthday to our good friend Andrew Santino. Happy birthday to Bryce Harper. Happy birthday, Manute Bol. Happy birthday to John Mayer. Happy birthday, Bob Weir. Happy birthday to Jamal Adams, Blitz Boy. Happy birthday to Ernie Els. Happy birthday to Eminem, Norm MacDonald, Evel Knievel. And happy birthday on Sunday. RIP Mike Ditka. Would have been his birthday Happy birthday, Dalton Kincaid, on Sunday. Happy birthday, RIP, to Mike Leach. Happy birthday on Sunday to Jean-Claude Van Damme, Zac Efron, Brittany Griner, and FaZe Banks on Sunday. And I don't think we have time for questions because we're out of tape.

You forgot anyone?

Nope.

Out of tape. No, no, no, no, no.

You forgot anyone?

No, we reached the end of the tape.

We reached the end of the tape.

Hank has a question.

Actually out of tape, boys.

Hank has a question.

Happy birthday to Dante. I missed Dante's birthday.

How?

What do you mean, how?

Wow.

You have no respect.

It happens sometimes.

No respect.

It's that— it's not that I have no respect. It's every day I treat him— I treat Dante like he's special.

Does Dante have any comment on this matter, Hank?

How did you know? You forgot?

No, because you're being a— because Hank's white knighting for Dante. Dante doesn't care.

Yeah, I white knight for people I care about. I have respect for Dante, and I think other people should too.

Like, I respect Dante more than you.

So much so that you didn't give him a happy birthday, but you wish happy birthday to like animals, dead people. Communists, dictators.

Communists.

Stalin.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, I did wish—

you did wish Stalin a happy birthday.

In fact, yes, I did do that.

So yeah, Lockwoods, respect the Don.

Yeah, yeah. Communists, dictators, Lockwoods. I wish happy birthday to anybody.

Say a Warren Zevon song.

Love you guys. Happy birthday, Dante. Early for next year.