Transcript of One Ring To Rule Them All

Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco. Com/callkonan. Okay, let's get started.

Hi, Rahil. Welcome to Konan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

Hey, everybody. Hey, Rahil.

How are you? I'm doing amazing. So excited to meet you guys.

Yeah. How are you? First of all, where are you contacting us from?

I'm down in Miami. Oh, okay. Other side of the US. Very nice.

Tell us a a little bit about yourself, Rahil.

Yeah. I'm currently in my fellowship. I finished med school and I did my training. I'm still currently in my training, and I'm doing gastroenterology and hepatology.

Good Lord, that's impressive. You're a gastroenterologist. What was the other field, too?

And hepatology. They go hand in hand.

Hepatology is blood?

Lever.

Sorry. Lever connected To intestine, yes. Intestinal tract. That all makes sense. Okay. We'll clean that up.

What do you want me to do?

Who's going to clean it up? Girls?

He's not going to clean it.

He's not going to edit it. He's not going to Is that it? Yeah, just so I know what hepatology is. Anyway, so- I believe it. You'll do as you're told. Okay, I'm sorry, Rahil.

We can just reconfigure it so that hepatology is actually blood. Rahil, how are you? Hepatology is actually blood.

I'm doing great.

It's great to meet you guys.

Now, I've always heard hepatology is the study of the liver. Is that correct?

Yeah, I actually learned that from your podcast earlier. Thank you.

I never make mistakes when it comes to medicine because I, too, am well-trained. Well, first of all, congratulations You're a young man, and it seems like you're very well-educated, and that's very cool, and you're going to help a lot of people. Tell us a little bit about your training. What are you interested? Well, first of all, have you You've worked with a lot of patients so far? Has it all been textbook stuff?

Yeah, no. Our med school is four years after our undergrad, and then we do three years of internal medicine, which is all patient-facing, hospital-based, long days, long hours. Then GI hepatology is another three years after that. I'm about halfway through right now. It's been about four and a half, five years of seeing patients.

It's such a dedication it takes in the field of medicine. There is no preparation for being in comedy. I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed that you just get to dive in and be an ass and whatever, start getting to practice immediately. I'm so impressed by the fact that you've spent years and years and years of your life preparing. I'm glad you have because I'm sure you're going to be very good at what you do. You're going to help save a lot of lives.

That's the hope. I mean, even this many years in it, every day, it feels like I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with everybody. It's one of those things where learning never stops. You keep going at it. New things, new experiences, new patient interactions, it all makes it worth it.

Okay. I've talked about this a lot, but can you hook me up with propofil?

Oh, jeez. Come on.

Because when I've had colonoscopies, they give me this drug propofil, and I've talked about it before, but it's the happiest I've been in my entire life. It's an absolutely amazing feeling, and it's miraculous. If you could become my secret illegal supplier of propofil, I don't see how anyone traces it back to us. I don't see one way that it leaks out and it's tracked back to us. That's just what I'm saying. By the way, I'm terrible at committing crimes. Have you performed any colonoscopes? Is that something that they've trained you to do?

Yeah. We get into it from day one from our training. Our first year, we're fumbling around, trying to figure out what we're doing. It's a new technical skill, and it's not necessarily intuitive when you get started. Then over the first year, you really get your confidence. Then second year, you really start to build your skill, build your efficiency.

Can I just say, I hate to interrupt, but Burhiel, doesn't that suck for the patient? If you're saying like, Yeah, first year, you're just jamming a camera in there. You don't know what you're doing. It's banging up against stuff, and you just have to force it. Isn't that... I mean, you don't want to be... I don't want to encounter you at that stage, Rahil, as a patient. Is that fair to say?

You do with propofil. It's that magic stuff that- You're right.

Okay, so I wake up and I don't know what's happened.

Exactly. After they wake up, they ask, Are we getting started? That's the magic of propofall.

Even though you've been banging around in there for three hours.

What is it like banging around in there? Just moving furniture.

Come on. Do you think you're pretty good at it now?

I would like to think so. My attendings might say otherwise behind closed doors, but at least to my face, I say I'm doing a wall. Good.

I would think the technology is going to improve to the point where you just swallow a little pill or something and it works its way through your system really quickly and the pill comes out the other side and said, Everything is fine.

Colon is- Do they? They have one of those for the small bowel, for the small intestine. But the colon is just so wide and distend it. It can't really take pictures of the whole thing. And thankfully, I hope it doesn't because then I'll be out of a job.

See, that's the problem is technology replaces a lot of... I mean, I'll be replaced by AI in about a year. Yeah. They'll have a fake cone in here.

Less than a year.

Okay. That's good to know. Just give me a heads up. Ratings might go up. All right, that's nice. Let's turn up the knob on the comedy portion of the Konan. Hey, it's working. Well, I think that's Now, what about you? Looking at people's intestines, has it at all adjusted or informed the way that you eat or the way that you treat your body when you look at other people's intestines?

No. It's always a running joke. Whenever you see GI fellows, you can always tell who they are in the hospital because they're literally just running to the cafeteria, stuffing whatever the food they can in their mouth between procedures and then running back to the procedure room. The field and the practice is just so fast-paced, and we're just running to see patients, running to do procedures. I literally, when I tell patients and counsel them in clinic, I just basically say everything I don't do in my life.

Oh, my God. That's fascinating to me. You're telling them, Well, it's really good to eat a lot of roughage and don't eat processed foods, and it's really good to avoid the... And then you don't listen to it at all.

I'll be stuffing a pizza in my mouth as I'm telling them that.

Okay. Okay. All right. Are you pretty healthy? Are you a healthy eater? Other than when you're not... Let's say you're not at work, are you fairly healthy about your diet?

I try to be. I'm vegetarian just religiously, so that lends itself to eating more lentils and vegetables and getting your your greens in.

Right. Yeah, I'm not a big lentil guy, I'm going to tell you right now. You know what? I don't like them either. I don't think I've ever said, Hey, I need Give me some lentils. When I'm in a restaurant, it's not the first thing I ask the waiter, Hey, you got lentils? No. What's the lentil situation? Let's run down the list of the lentils. What's the lentil of the day? Exactly. I want to see the lentil sommelier come out and taste the lentil. Do you fast ever?

I do.

Because that's a big thing now. People believe that fasting... I would like your opinion on this because I know people that fast and they say it's good for them. Now there's a lot of science that's saying fasting is good. But I always wonder, is it one of those things where 10 years from now, they're going to tell us, actually, it's terrible for you. We changed our minds.

I think the I don't know. This is just what I've seen off of Instagram, probably. Oh, good.

You're a doctor, are you not? Hi, doctor. Can you tell us what you're seeing on Instagram? Can I have some of that pizza? Hello, doctor. Tell me what's on No, don't talk. Go ahead. Sorry. Go ahead.

No, I was going to say I feel like I've seen some people or some other experts saying that the data around internet and fasting isn't all that it was cracked up to be earlier. But as far as fasting, I do, not necessarily for the health benefits, but I did just in terms of religion.

Oh, okay. Can you tell me specifically what your religion is?

Yeah. My religion is called Jainism. Practitioners are called Jain. There's similar things in other cultures. There's like Ramadan for people who follow Islam. There's like Lent and things like that. But in Jainism, we have this 8 or 10-day religious festival called Barushan. During that time, we can do different days of fasting. Some people will do just the last day and then as much as you can. I've done eight-day fasts. You've done 8?

Basically, no Eight-day fast. Yeah, no food for eight days. No fruit of any kind, or can you take some sustenance?

Just boiled water when there's daylight out. This stretches back to the start of the religion and the different pre-technology ages and stuff like that. But yeah, just water for eight days.

Okay. I have questions. As a doctor, do you think that that's okay to go eight days without any food other than water?

I don't. This was all pre-med school. Got you. This was me in undergrad, me in med school. I don't think it's the healthiest. I don't think it's the healthiest thing to do. I do think it's a really interesting test of determination, interesting test of self-will, and you can really push your body to the limit in a way that... Outside of thinking medical, but you can really see your body is capable of in those eight days.

Are you even able to get out of bed on the eighth day? Are you debilitated?

Yeah, no. You can live life as is. The first time I did it, I was in undergrad. The second time, I was in med school. You live life as is the first couple of days are the hardest where you're... I feel like if it's 11 o'clock and I'm like, It's lunchtime, your body's just so used to it. Then after day one, day two, your body adjusts to that feeling of I'm not eating, and so let me occupy myself with other stuff. Then the rest of the week, honestly, you just don't feel that sensation of hunger as much.

You know why? That's because your body is eating itself. On day seven, Hey, I don't feel so bad. Yeah, you just ate your heart. Your body's like, I'm good. Yeah, liver's gone, heart's gone. Now I'm working on the third rib.

It's fascinating to me because clearly there is a large religious component in many religions.

There's a big religious component to denying yourself food, fasting, going without, and people feeling like they reach a higher plane or that they feel that they've gained something by seeing what they could do by denying themselves. There's clearly some link here. It's just we don't know, obviously, completely what the science is. And maybe it's different for all kinds of people. I don't know.

Yeah. No. Just going through the experience, it really showed what the body is capable of. Was it the health-discing? I doubt it, but it was an experience.

How do you break after eight days? Yeah, what do you- Do Can you get a nine-tiered hamburger? What do you get? I mean, I know you're a vegetarian. I'm just thinking about what I would do. I would try to go to In-N-Out and say, Can you make a hamburger that has nine patties that's structurally sound? That's what I- That's what I- Shuffle like a deck of cards. Yeah, I want a card dealer in here, a really good one to shuffle the patties and make a nine-tiered sandwich. Then I want my jaw unlocked so I can eat it in one bite. What When you would break fast, what would you eat?

You actually have to go very slow because you basically have to rewake your bowel. You're not going to like this, but it's not even lentils, but it's lentil water. The water that you cook your lentils in.

No, I'm a big fan of lentil water. Don't get me wrong. I'm a foe of the lentil. That is my lifelong foe is the lentil, but lentil water and I are best chums.

Yeah, it's just that and sugar water. You just try to wake your GI system back up, and then you slowly advance diet.

Right.

Do you have a question for Konan, Rahil?

I do. And it's like a life dilemma that I'd love to get some insight of yours. I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend, and so I'm about to start the whole ring shopping thing. Her parents happen to be jewelers. I'd like to know how you would navigate the clear conflict of interest when I have no negotiating power on my side.

Okay. It's your The question is you don't want to purchase the ring from the parents.

Is that it? I do. But how would I get the best deal or negotiate my way when I have no power on my side?

Can you tackle with your future in-laws?

Are you assuming they're not going to give you the best deal that they might be trying to make a profit off of this?

Do you get along with your girlfriend's parents?

No, I do. They're lovely.

Okay, so my guess is they're going to give you a good deal.

But that's the assumption that that's He can't go anywhere else.

He can't go to another jeweler. They're just going to be like, Oh, he's going to- They're going to put him through the Ringer. Pay whatever we tell him to pay. I would pay three times the price.

I don't know these people. I don't know who they are. You me they're nice people. I'm questioning whether you have to buy the ring from them.

You have to.

Well, you could say, Rahil, that it's important for you that the ring you give your future wife have passed through your body. Oh, that's not where I thought you. I said, what? Listen where I'm going with this.

I just want to be an independent man.

No. It's important to you that, A, you buy the ring, and then it passed through your GI tract. Okay. Because that's such an important part of your life. They're not going to want to sell you one of their rings once they hear that.

It's a symbol of what you do, your profession, what you're giving your life to, but also you are willing to process this ring in every way that a human can process something.

Then they're going to not want to sell you a ring at that point.

No, because there's a good chance it'll get stuck in there like a sunflower seed.

It's What? Rahil, you'll buy a ring that will pass easily through the lower bow, will you not? It'll get stuck.

Yeah. At my current fellow salary, I don't think I can afford anything that's going to get stuck. Yeah.

You can also encase it in a prune or something that's going to go through pretty quick.

Don't eat the ring.

Don't eat the ring. Oh, you're telling me that what I'm telling him is stupid? How is it stupid that he buy a ring, stick it in a prune, eat it, pass it through his body, clean it off and give it to his wife and bypass her parents who are jewelers. I don't see one problem with that plan. Rahil, what do you think?

I could get behind most of it.

Well, listen, in all seriousness, I think you buy the ring from them. Are they going to be able to keep their mouth shut? Because you do want it to be a surprise when you give her the ring.

I know. I don't know if I can tell her whenever this podcast comes out, if she can listen to it. She's an intelligent That woman, I'm assuming she's not listening, so I think you're okay.

Do you think her parents are going to have a lot of input on what the ring is, or do you get to choose that freely?

We've talked about it, and they've told me what her preferences are.

For God's sake. She already knows. What preferences are her most expensive item?

I don't know. I think they can keep a secret, so I'm hoping.

But do they know what she wants? Because you keep talking about what... Eduardo brings up a good point, which is they know what their preferences are, but what's her preference?

No, they've said... They're a family of jewelers, a couple of generations. So jewelry is very ingrained. I think they've always talked about that stuff, like over the dinner table, probably. And so they definitely know her preferences. And I think they're definitely guide me in the right way. They're sweet people, and this is obviously said with a touch of jest.

Well, I think it's all going to go swimmingly. I just want to make sure that it's a nice surprise. Do you know that when you pull that ring out of yourself, that it's a surprise. This is now part of the proposal?

Why is he... He's pulling it out of his body?

How is that even working? If he times it right, He can say, Honey, get over here.

No, no, no, no, no, Instead of Neil, your fiancé can never listen to this.

You could fire it across the room.

Oh, my God. Like a carnival game?

Like a ringtone? Yeah. Stick your finger out, honey. No. Here she comes.

Your parents helped me pick it out.

Your parents picked it out a week ago, and then I ate it with a lot of corn. Now, listen, I'm sorry. We're healed. Come on. Rap, rap, Raheal, I'm looking right now at a transcript of this entire conversation, and I see that I've made no missteps whatsoever. Everything I've said is rational and should be done. So congratulations. No, Rahil, you are an impressive young man. I think you're going to have a great career. I wish you the best with this proposal. I think it's all going to go swimmingly. I hope I bump into you in person someday because I like you. You're a fine fellow. Think I'd love that so much. Really think seriously about swallowing the ring. Just think about it. It's a good idea. Probably get on.

Thank you guys so much. It's so great meeting you guys. All right.

Take care, man. See you later.

See you later. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam O'Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourly. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Leal. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blaird. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/conon. Please rate, review, and subscribe to, 'Conon O'Brien Needs a Fan' wherever fine podcasts are down.