Transcript of Canada O'Brien

Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco. Com/callkonan. Okay, let's get started.

Hey, Devon. Welcome to Konan O'Brien needs a fan.

Hey, Devon, how are you? I'm good.

How are you? I'm sorry. This is crazy.

Well, I think it's crazy that your shirt matches your background exactly because you look It's like a floating head right now. It's cool. It's pretty cool. You have a good look going for you. Thank you. Yeah, Devon, there's so much we need to talk about, but the first thing I need to understand is where are you coming from right now? I have no idea where you are in the world?

I'm from Calgary, Alberta, in Canada. I originally was from Edmonton, but yeah, I'm in Calgary now.

Okay, so you live in Calgary. What's the temperature where you are right now?

It's unseasonably warm. It's about 5 degrees celsius. That always still sounds cold when you do Celsius.

Doesn't it sound like it's real hard. It's five degrees. What is that in American temperature? We like everything done the American way since we're soon to buy your country, I've never figured out the conversion there, so your guess would be as good as mine. It's 41 degrees. Did you call it Calgary?

Yeah. I'm not originally from here, so I call it Calgary. I'm supposed to call it Calgary.

You know what I say, Devon, stick to your guns. Yeah.

The locals don't really know what they're talking about. I don't think so.

Hey, I'm going to say this, Devon, and this is a compliment. You look yoked Doesn't he look like a- Look. Do you lift? Yeah. I mean, you look... What's the word the kid... Swole, is that what the kids say?

Swole, yoked.

You look incredible.

I should have worn my shirt that says yoked. It would have been way better.

Guess what, pal? You don't have to because you've got the muscles to prove it. Your muscles have muscles. It's out of control. What's going on here? Tell us, do you lift every day? What's the story?

Yeah, I do work out quite often. I've been training for... How old am I now? I'm almost 33, so since I was 16. Wow.

Yeah, I've been training for a while. I started working out when I was 55. Okay. I I'm still on very lightweight. You'll get there though. Yeah. No, in my 70s, I'm going to move up to the old 20 pounder. Okay.

You'll get there. It's all about pounders.

You're a very nice guy, Devon. You'll get there. By the time you're in your 90s, you'll be okay. Well, are you a professional athlete in any way?

I'm not a professional. I would make that clear for sure. But I did compete in Bob's last year for our Canadian national team. Oh, you're kidding.

You're a serious bobsledder.

I would call it former because I'm not doing it this year. But last year I did do it. It was my first year. I was on the World Cup team. Was last year. I think when I sent the email last year, I could be wrong. I sent applications a few times to you guys. But when I made the team, I was like, I'm going to send it and hopefully, Konan want to talk to me now. I might have been in Europe right when I sent it.

Yeah, but let me tell you something, Devon. If I was on a bobsled for two seconds, I would spend the rest of my life telling people that I was a bobsledder. That's just me. You're being way too modest. It sounds like This is serious stuff. You have competed at a top level.

Yeah, I was very, I say, lucky. I was also just very fortunate to be in good positions. I put myself there and put myself out there last year and was able to just find my way into one of our top sleds last year and somehow ended up over there. I just took a shot at it.

I don't know. We've all seen the images of Bob Sledding, but I don't know much about it. I know there's a couple of you are crammed into a bobsled. How many?

It's either two or four. Four, it gets real cozy in there, but it's nice. You're with your buddies going down.

If they're not your buddies, they become your buddies real fast.

Yeah, they do for sure.

You are interlocked with these. There's four of you, and you're on this sled that's like a rocket. How fast do you go at times?

150 km/h.

You and your metric system. Sorry. I don't know. That could be 11 miles an hour for all I know. I'm sorry, I'm very ignorant. I want 150.

I can go any other country and say this in no understand.

My cat can run 150 kilometers an hour. 93 miles an hour. Wait, 93 miles an hour?

What is that in kilometers? Yeah, stop it.

I just got us off of that. Okay, all right. Wait a minute. So 93 miles an hour on a bobsled, I don't understand what happens if you crash?

You hang on for dear life because there are no seatbelts.

Do you fall out? What happens?

You can. If you don't hang on, you will fall out. My first crash, I learned it real quick. I was doing a two-man, so it It doesn't go quite as fast. It gets to, I don't know what it is in miles per hour, but it gets to 140-ish kilometers an hour. We crashed probably at the fastest point on the track in Whistler. You feel it right away. It's like trying to kick you out. It's almost like a bull just trying to kick you off. You have to grab onto the frame and pull yourself back in and just try and stay in. The other thing is if you let yourself come out, you're usually scraping on ice. There's walls, so you might hit You're trying to get as low into the sled so that the sled takes it and not your body. But wait a minute.

Are you wearing any protection?

There's a helmet, and then we have what is called a burn vest. To prevent any ice burn from skitting on it, you have this Kevlar vest. But other than that, it's just a speed suit.

Okay. I don't understand. I don't understand how you're not killed. I'm being serious. I don't understand how if someone threw me at 93 miles an hour onto ice I was just wearing a skin tight suit, which wouldn't look great, by the way. A helmet, there'd be an immediate funeral. Just an immediate. A doctor wouldn't even check on me. They would just put me in a box and have a funeral. You would just slide on the track into a crowd of people dressed in black. Yeah, we would all be waiting. The coffin would be opened at one end and I'd slide right in and they'd say, Well, there he goes. And put me down. Have you ever been seriously hurt?

I haven't. I've been really fortunate. Our crashes, one looked violent. It wasn't that bad in it, but it looked really bad. Just because you're about halfway down, we crashed, we tipped over. As you're going through all these turns going down, the sled is just doing its own thing. No one's controlling it. When it goes up on a turn, it comes back down as if it's coming down on your head. You can feel it, but you're just hanging on Again, you're with your buddies, so you're hanging on like, Okay, let's hope we all don't fall out and get hurt here.

That's a pretty low-key conversation you guys are having. It's 93 miles an hour. You're soaring through an ice tunnel out of control. I hope we don't get hurt here. Is one of you reading the paper? Oh, look, since you're the oilers are in town.

I think the last crash that we had, I was thinking, my first thought was like, because it was our first four-man on the World Cup together, and I told my family all back home, this is where you can watch it. Make sure you tune in. It's at this time. First thing, I was like, oh, man, my mom is watching this and she's not going to like this sport anymore. Just because that's all I was thinking the whole time. I'm like, Oh, man, I need this to end so I can pop out and just give her a thumbs.

Show her that you're all right. Quick question. Is there My instinct would be I would want to be the third person in a four person because if something went wrong, I would try to use the bodies in front and behind me as a buffer, as a shield. Does that a sign of low character on my part? I would try to be positioned behind you so that I could steer you towards the ice and the rocks. I'm just being honest. You seem like- Your legs are too long. What? Your My legs are too long. I have to sit in the third position. Yeah, that's right. I think the minute the crash starts, my legs would fall off. They'd say, Oh, look, two strands of denim spaghetti just fell off the back of the- Excuse me, you're wearing denim? I'm wearing denim. Click button on this goddamn kevlar. What do I look like? I'm a man, see? A pure Canadian tuxet. Yeah, exactly. I'm just being honest with you. I would try to use your body to absorb all the punishment.

Well, I was the third guy, so when you load, you I have a routine. I was the third guy. In the crash, your instinct is to get as low as possible into the sled. So yeah, in fairness, I am trying to get lower than everyone else in that sled.

You know what I would do? I would build a little trap door in the sled and some steps so I could go downstairs into a tiny little room and read a novel during the crash.

How big is your bobsled?

It's a bigger bobsled, yes. It's less aerodynamic But at my insistence, when the crash starts, Excuse me, gents, and I open a little door, and then you hear footsteps going down some steps, and then I shut it. It's a little Coco, and I read the third Harry Potter. I think it's Harry Potter and the stone that's made of bones. I'm in there with a little sweater and stuff, and there's a little fireplace.

No one's going to want to be on your team.

You don't know about bobsledding like I do.

Your bombsled sounds more like one of those big, tall bags. It's going to tip over all the time.

Okay, so Oh, so suddenly you're the expert, Devon. I think I know a little more about bobsledding than you do, having spoken to you and seen a photograph.

Now, what's the economics behind bobsledding?

How do you guys... Do you need sponsorships? Who's funding this? Does the Canadian government step in and throw some loonies at it? See what I did right there?

That was a good reference. That was a good Canadian reference.

I've been around. I stayed at Martin Shorts' Lake Cotage. That's where I know all this stuff. Okay, so you know then. Oh, yeah. He's always saying, You have any loonies on your So that's where I picked it up.

Yeah. A lot of Olympic sports are pretty underfunded. Bob Slay is certainly no different. We do get some support, of course, and we are obviously very We're grateful for it. Any support that teams do get, we're happy about it. But usually, especially the last few years, it's been self-funded. Divan. Athletes are needing to get sponsorships. Just ask him. The main reason I'm here is Could you put your face just on a side of a sled. Just give us some money. We'll slap it on there.

What I really get, I could get some, Cone O'Brien Needs A Friend podcast sponsors. If I threw some dough Your way I could get a little bit of a sponsorship?

I could probably get you on a sled for sure. I could get you connected with the right people. That would be amazing.

But what if it's one of those things, when it's a grim subject, but if an airplane goes down, the company quickly covers the logo. Have you ever heard about that? They cover the logo of the plane because there's all this footage of it. They're like, Cover up that logo, the corporation. It looks bad for the-I'm just saying- They're going to do that if they win. The winner is, Hold on, they're covering up something. Devon is quickly spray painting over an image. That's something... You know what? I have to talk to the people here that control the purse strings. You'd think that would be me, but it is not. It's Jeff Ross who seems to control these things. He's a hard guy to get to. You know what I mean? It's tough. It's tough to You know how Jeff, he moves around so quickly? He's always darting from room to room. He's like an Eel.

When did this become the Jeff Ross podcast and not the Colin O'Brien?

Yeah, I like this guy. I see what Devon's doing. He's getting me to say Jeff Ross doesn't run things. I'll pledge the money. I think we have to look into this, Devon. Who's the real boss around here?

Write a check.

Who wears the pants? Who wears the pants?

How much do you need, Devon?

Whatever you want to give.

Do it in kilometers.

Do you want it in Canadian dollar? Yeah. How many- If you give us US funds, we really would be thrilled.

What's the difference between What's the exchange rate now between- One Canadian dollar, 69 US cents.

Oh, is it that?

That's a little rough. That's a little rough.

Sorry.

Did you bring your dog to the podcast?

That's a good one.

It's a good one.

That's a good one.

Yeah, rough. What do you think of that exchange rate, pup? God, I'm killing over here with myself.

You're just hydrating. Devon is hydrating. We have to. I know.

Also, when you take a swig, it's the largest water bottle I've ever seen. There must be at least 95 legures.

Look at that thing. He's a big guy.

Imagine how big that thing is. That's all the water I've had in my life, but he just lift it up.

How do you even get into bob? You call it bob slay? Bob slaying?

Bob sling, Bob slay. It's the same. Is it a slay or a slut? I call it Bob sling. I prefer Bob sling. It's because you can use it in lots of different ways. Bob Slay is very singular.

Bob Slay is if you use it to kill people. Okay, I have another question here, and then we'll come back around to the money. I'll take care of the money. Don't you worry about that. What are you doing? You're the third. What is it you're doing in the Bob Sled other than just hanging on for dear life? Are you shifting your weight at certain times? Who's steering the thing? Who's in charge of snacks? I want to know what's going on.

There's a guy in the very front that he steers it. I want no part of steering it. It seems like a lot of pressure. I just have to exist for five seconds pushing it, and then I hop in and just the rest of the blame can go to the guy at the front after that.

Wait, so your contribution is pushing it and then jumping in and then hoping things go well?

Pretty much. You try and get in. When you get in, it's like, I call it like a meat ballet. There's three big guys that are all trying to get in, moving as fast as they can, and then it's like quick and in. If you see it, it's very orchestrated. The teams that are good at it look very good when they do it. It's like you're very quick off the bunk and then in and down as low as you can. Then when you're back there, you don't want to be shifting a bunch because if you got three guys shifting around in the back, the pilot will feel it. You're trying to just stay as still as you can and stay as low as possible.

Stay very still, stay very low. That's interesting. I think I'd be trying to escape most of the time if I was in. Which country, just for example, would you say is... What's the country that's dominant in this sport?

Germany is probably the most dominant in it. It has been for a while.

I bet it's because they've designed some crazily insane bobsled.

They genuinely do have their bobsleds at times. We try and take a look at them, but they look very sleek. They're very high tech.

Have you ever checked it for an internal combustion engine? I'm sorry. I don't mean to impugn the Germans, but they make BMWs and Porsches and everything. Have you checked to make sure I said Volkswagen.

I don't know why I chose the weakest.

Mercedes. Have you ever checked to make sure that there's not an eight-cylinder, beautiful BMW engine in there? And that's why they always win. Have you noticed that they go uphill 10 times for 20 minutes?

I fear if I touch their sled, I would be...

Yeah, they probably wouldn't like that.

I don't want to know what happened.

What color are they? What are they sponsored by? What's on their sled?

Dhl was a big sponsor.

That makes sense. He said, not sure why.

It's like you're shipping something somewhere and it's got to get there fast.

Yeah, that's That makes sense. You need four guys to wear tights and hug each other while it's delivered. Who are your sponsors now or in the past?

The program has their own. As far as who we had last year, there's There's a lot of local companies. Because it's not, especially in Canada, it's not, and like North America, generally, it's not a well-covered sport. You're not flipping through the channels and like, Oh, there's bobsled unless it's the Olympics. All those other years, you're not going to see the sport, typically, unless people direct you right to it. It's not like a high-coverage sport. You're typically not selling people that tons of eyes are going to get on the sled and see your logo. You're more or less selling a dream of what you're competing for, which everyone who joins the sport is joining to, for the most part, some people might not be, but almost everyone is joining to make the Olympics eventually. That's what you're selling when you're selling it to people. Otherwise, you can try and do what you can for social media sponsorship and give shoutouts and stuff, but otherwise, the coverage on it isn't super high.

Well, I'm going to tell you something. So you're not selling that part. If I can figure this out and if I do sponsor you guys, it's going to work the other way. You're going to start getting eyeballs because my face is on that bobsled. You see what I'm saying? It's not, Oh, I hope people tune in and happen to see my face. When my face is on that bobsled, you're going to see viewership double, quadruple, and then the words that go higher.

But it won't work for... You're going to sponsor them for now, but when they go to the Olympics, it's just going to say Canada on it.

No, I'm going to get past those rules. I'm going to say Canada O'Brien. Canada O'Brien, and then just me in a mounty hat.

Canada O'Brien needs a friend is what this one will be called.

Devon. Canada O'Brien. I'm proud to meet you, Devon. I'm proud to meet you, and you seem like a fine fellow. We're going to think this over, but there could be a future in this. Do you know what I mean? Thank you.

I just I would like to say I've been watching you since I was nine. I used to stay up late, and then I'd pretend to go to sleep. Then I had this little 15-inch TV in my room that I'd quietly turn on when I was a kid and just find the channel and watch it. I used to watch it all the time. To see you now talking directly to me is very… It's almost an out-of-body experience for me. This is quite literally a dream come true for me. Well, thank you. Devon. Don't mention anyone else.

It hurts it. Devon, I will say this. When I started way back in the day, my best fans were Canadians. Before Americans were liking me, Canadians... I think Canada put me on their TV guide three years before America did because I revere Canadian comedy and Canadian comedians and SCTV and You guys were always in my corner in the early days. The image of you, sneaking some Conan O'Brien illegally makes me really happy. This is nice. I'm glad I met you. I'm going to talk to the money guys. We're going to figure this out, and I'm going to start to get in shape. Perfect. Yes. I want to be killed.

You can always take a ride in a bobsled. You head to Whistler or Lake Placid. They have tours for you.

No, no. I'm going to check I'm going with you or with no one. It's you or no one. All right. Hey, Devon, very nice to meet you, and I hope our paths cross down the road, okay?

Awesome.

Thank you very much. Take care, man.

Bye. Bye-bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Konan O'Brien, Sonam Ofsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Erin Blaird. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/seriusxm. Com/seriusxm. Com. Com/conon. Please rate, review, and subscribe to, 'Conon O'Brien Needs a Fan' wherever fine podcasts are down.