Transcript of Reza Farahan | Bravo Star on Reality TV, Real Estate & Building Wealth the Persian Way | Coffeez 306

1, 2. Hi, how are you doing? Thank you, you're so— you're kind of too pretty to be working back here.

Thank you, thank you. What would you like to get today?

Let's not talk about what I would like to get. What you can give me is a great Iced almond milk latte. I'd like to get me a fat check. You got any of those right there? I'll do that for you. What's this?

Why are you waiting?

You can get chocolate. This one's gold. 'Cause I like me some gold. This one's very fat. This one's thin. I like a fat one. You have a beautiful accent. Where are you from? Can you guess?

I know where you from.

Yeah? Is it Eastern European?

Mm-hmm.

Croatia? Romania? Armenian?

No.

Croatian? Really close. Russian?

No.

That's real close. Turkey. Oh, cool.

My name is Naz. Everyone asking me first, are you Persian?

Yes, totally. You, cuz you're also very beautiful. You look like some of my relatives. Thank you, thank you. I'll let you walk here. Thank you.

What's up everybody, welcome to another episode of Coffees with Joe Shalabi. Today we're sitting down with the one, the only Reza Farahan, one of the most influential figures in reality TV today. He's talking about his new show, The Valley Persian Style, and you might know him from 9 different seasons on Shahs of Sunset. But today we're discussing all of his entrepreneurial ventures and what he's up to now. Please welcome the one, the only Reza Farhan. We're going to dive right into it. I like to ask every single one of my guests the same question: what's your morning routine, brother?

Morning routine— the first thing I do, I wake up, brush my teeth, hop in the car, I go on the Peet's app, I ordered my iced almond milk latte, I jump in the car, I head to grab my coffee, and I'm home before the market opens at 6:30. So I jump on, I do a lot of trading. I check, you know, if there's any good buys. Friday was a disastrous day in the market because a lot of people have sold to buy the SpaceX IPO. So I did a lot of buying this past Friday.

You buying SpaceX IPO?

I'm not, but Oracle went down $20-some-odd. I bought a bunch of Oracle. I bought some Tesla. It was down big. Intel was down big. I bought a bunch of Intel. Nvidia took a big dip. I bought more Nvidia. So that's my morning routine. And then I head to the gym, I do a workout, and then I start my day usually with some showings with clients. I'm a realtor.

Nice, nice. So you're a reality star.

Yeah.

You didn't mention anything about being a reality star.

I don't know that I would talk about— I don't ever say I'm a reality star. It's just weird. Um, I would say like I do reality TV or I'm a reality TV personality. I don't know, but that's just one aspect of my life. I don't lead with it.

Yeah. And does it drive more business for you?

If people call and reference the show, it's usually a red flag and a turn-off for me.

Really?

Yeah. I've had people call me and they use real estate as a ruse to hang out. So I've had several instances where people have used real estate as a means to spend time with me. And if you're calling and talking to me about what I did in an episode, or how, you know, you love my relationship with MJ, or if you start talking too much show stuff, I— it's kind of a little bit of a red flag for me.

That means that they don't have any money, they're not ready to buy, and they want to hang out. Yeah. And you're like, dude, I don't got time for this.

Totally.

My checklist of stuff I gotta do.

And I've gotten— I fallen for it a few times back in the early days, but now like there's a few like keywords that I look out for. If you reference a house as a mansion when you're calling me, it's a big red flag. I've sold a lot of very expensive houses to very wealthy people. No one has ever called me and said, I'm looking to buy a mansion. Never have I ever. So if you call me and you say, hey, I'm looking for a mansion, usually I realize, okay, this is someone that's not a legitimate buyer and I should just end the phone call as quickly as possible in a polite way.

You said MJ, are you talking about Michael Jordan? You talking about Michael Jackson?

No, I have a castmate, her name is MJ.

Oh, MJ, gotcha. Okay, I thought it was the MJ.

No, no, no, no.

So reality TV.

Yeah.

I gotta ask you, 'cause I asked you before we started and I wanted to ask this to you, like what pays more money, reality TV or real estate?

So it depends, you know, if I'm selling like a one-bedroom condo, which I haven't done in a long time, in Studio City, that commission check might be smaller than my episodic fee of a reality TV series like Shahs of Sunset that I used to be on. If I'm selling, you know, a 5-bedroom, 4,000-square-foot house in Toluca Lake, most likely that commission check will be a lot better than my episodic fee was on Shahs of Sunset. So it just depends.

We talked about— you got up to season 9 on Shahs of Sunset.

I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I— because it was on Netflix.

No, the original run, it was on Netflix, but that wasn't the original run. The original run of Shahs of Sunset was on Bravo.

Oh, gotcha. So by episode 9, that's when they pay the most.

I mean, yeah, because, you know, you're doing well, you're getting, you know, a raise, you're renegotiating your contract. And so by season 9, obviously the pay was way better than it was season 1.

Way better.

Way better. Yeah, I was spending more on Louboutins to wear on season 1 than I was earning from my episodic fees.

That's funny. So I gotta ask, because I've always been fascinated by reality TV. Yeah. So what's real, what's heightened, what's like cinematic, what, you know, what is the common misconception about reality TV?

So the one of the best misconceptions is a lot of people think what they're watching is because it's reality TV, it's happening in real time. So if an episode is showing my birthday the day it airs, or whenever the person is watching the episode, they will tweet me, post happy birthday. They think it's actually because they're watching it and it's reality TV that it must be my birthday while they're watching it. That's a big misconception. Another misconception is that they tell me what to say. They've never ever asked me to say anything, and to be totally honest with you, the stuff I say is way better than anything any producer can feed me. So they let me say what I wanna say. What they will do is, if you and I have an interaction here like we're having, and we fall out, it gets elevated, I storm out, they don't want you and I to continue communicating with one another and maybe escalate it further or resolve it completely. So that the next time we're on camera, we're in a different place than we were when we ended our communication last. So a seasoned reality television personality will understand that you need to put a pin in it so there's continuity for the audience.

So let me ask you this, like, we often get like— this is totally scripted.

Yeah.

What's one thing that you can think of that was actually produced, or is everything just real on those shows?

No, I had a phenomenal showrunner, God rest her soul. Um, her name was Kris Curry. She's passed on, and she was amazing. She would ask me a lot about myself, and she knew what a dynamic personality I was, and she wanted to create scenes that were very vibrant. She knew that I had a complex and complicated relationship with the country that I was born in. She somehow found a gay dude from Iran that was living in the same building that me and my boyfriend at the time— he's now my husband— of 10 years. My boyfriend and I just started dating. We just moved in together, and we're living in this very cool building in West Hollywood. And there was a Persian gay dude living in that building who was seeking political asylum in the U.S. but telling people how great Iran is. And it was like an oxymoron for me. So one day, unbeknownst to me, I come home from work, from the real estate office. I open my door and I walk in and this gay dude is in my house wearing a Speedo bathing suit because him and my boyfriend at the time, my current husband, were by the pool.

He's got his feet, his bare feet, up on my new chair wearing a Speedo with this thick-ass accent telling my husband how fantastic Iran is. Describing it like it's Club Med. He was getting under my skin because of how I feel about that place, and I end up throwing him out of my house. So I didn't know he was gonna be there. That scene was set up. Cut to after that scene, I call all my castmates. I'm like, you guys aren't gonna believe this. This guy was at my house and he was telling Adam how great Iran is. Meanwhile, he's sitting seeking political asylum here. We go to a gay bar. It was Middle Eastern night at this gay bar. We walk in and I'm the star of the show. And I walk in and I see cameras are on some people deep into the dance floor in the club. I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I'm just rolling in. Why are there cameras over there? And immediately I realized it's Middle Eastern night. We're at a gay bar. I bet you That guy I threw out of my house is over there. I look over, sure enough, they're filming him.

So I say to my casting mate, Mike, I'm like, Mike, that dude and his brother are right over there. So that whole thing of him being at the house and then us going to this gay bar to run into him again after I had thrown him out, all kind of set up, but my reactions and everything I said to him super authentic. No one said like, be nice to him, or say this to him, or ask him about this or that. It just—

so that was on the show? All that was on the show?

All that was on the show, yeah.

That seems pretty fascinating. No wonder that show had great ratings.

Totally.

So, you know, I'm Middle Eastern, I'm Egyptian.

Yeah, I know, I read about that.

And then I also have a brother who's gay also, and you know, That was a tough thing for the parents to accept. How was that transition, like letting your family know, like, you know, in the Middle Eastern culture, this is not like normal society for the Middle Easterners. It's not like, oh yeah, you're—

yeah, very close-minded.

Very close-minded.

Yes, very close-minded. I was very, very, very blessed. I had a phenomenal father who's no longer here, and my mom, she's amazing. And I was going to therapy, and at the I was gonna come out to people in my family, I had written F.U. letters to everyone just in case I came out to them and they said something sideways or judgmental or hateful to me. I thought that in that moment I would be emotional and I wouldn't be able to like collect my thoughts and say how I felt, so I wrote everything down all the shady things that they had done, any Ratatouille things they had done, any money they had stolen, any insurance fraud, anything I could remember I wrote in these letters. And at the end it was like, "Fuck you, I didn't want you in my life anyway. I knew you were gonna do this to me." And I never had to give out one of those letters. I was very, very, very lucky. I came up with a lot of people whose families turned their backs on them, and one of them ended his own life for a multitude of reasons.

But Persian too?

Yeah. And, um, I just— I was very blessed that my family and my friends were very loving and accepting. And that was one of the reasons I decided to do Shahs of Sunset, because I wanted to show people that, like, you can be from a Middle Eastern household, your friends can love you, your family can accept you, and you can thrive in your community. You have nothing to be ashamed of. And I had a lot of people reach out to me from my alma mater and even my high school. I had a lot of kids that I was communicating with on a very regular basis who were more effeminate, who were getting bullied. And I talked to them and kind of mentored them through their whole high school. Some of them even the early years of college. Some of them had my cell phone. They would hit me up on days they were having a really hard time and I would kind of talk them through it and let them know that it gets better and that none of these people are going to matter to you and you're going to find a community that loves and embraces you.

And you're forced to deal with these people for a certain number of years, but they won't matter in a very short time.

Yeah, you know, the depression hits harder in the Middle Eastern community than American families just because there's so much—

we're tribal and we stick together and It's a very insular community, but it's also a very complicated community to fit into if you don't conform to the norms that are established by the elders.

Yeah, you know, and I think obviously there's acceptance. We're in America now, and there's a big push towards accepting this now. And I think, you know, families are much more open-minded these days. Yeah. Now let me, let me ask you, looking back, can you tell us a scene that you wish you handled differently? And a scene that you think is hilarious? Other than the scene you just mentioned, by the way, which I think is hilarious.

Yeah, you know, I ended up getting into a big falling out with my bestie MJ, and I— we had an explosive argument. And our relationship was compromised, and I wish that I could redo that, and I would act completely different. There's so many funny scenes though. I got fart spray and shart liquid, and we were on a camper, and I went in the bathroom, and I sprayed the fart spray, and I put the liquid sharts all around the toilet bowl, and Gulnesa was driving. She thought she almost crashed the car. Um, I put a positive pregnancy test in MJ's purse one year. Um, we were filming, we were in Mexico, and MJ was dating this dude, or just getting to know this dude we had nicknamed Fake Drake. And he texted her, hey, what's going on? Did you get to Mexico yet? And I grabbed her phone and I texted, "Hey, I wish you were inside of me again." And they had not been intimate yet. And he goes, "What?" And I responded back, "Oops, sorry, wrong person." I was— I made up a fake producer before we started filming season 1. I made up a fake producer named Steve Yagubrashdizadeh, and I would email the entire cast and I was the most racist, hateful producer on earth.

I'd be like, "Hey, you Persians are going to a pool party. Step it up, this is Bravo, people. I hope Reza doesn't wear a Speedo 'cause I know them gays love those. And you Persian girls tend to be hairy, so I hope you guys are gonna wax before the pool party." I was going in and Someone you know that I know, and the reason why I'm here today, used to misspell Golnessa's name. She would put an H at the end of Golnessa's name. So I would send the emails and I would misspell Golnessa's name with an H on the end of it. And Golnessa would be like, "I know who the hell this is and I'm gonna mess her up too." It was heaven. I was messing with the cast nonstop. I was the practical joker of the group.

What a blast.

Yeah.

I mean, would you do that show again? I mean, I know you guys went 9 straight seasons.

We went 9 straight seasons and I'm doing it again. I'm on a new show called The Valley Persian Style. We filmed season 1 and we just got picked up for season 2.

What's that? What's the premise of that show?

Same premise, just kind of older, more mature. So instead of popping bottles and going to clubs, we're doing like kids' pool parties and you know, grown-up stuff.

Okay, so the first 9 seasons you guys were partying.

Partying. And now we— so we were all in like West Hollywood, Hollywood Hills, Beverly Hills. We were all in like the heart of the city. We're all in the suburbs now. Everyone's either married, in a relationship, or with a kid. So life is very different, and it's kind of The audience also, our audience watched us for a decade. We filmed 9 seasons over 10 years. So that same audience that was watching our show, they're also in a different place and can relate to where we're at in our life now. And the other difference between Shahs and The Valley Persian Style, we have a new cast. 3 of us from the original Shahs, myself, Gigi, and MJ, and a bunch of our new friends that we've introduced to the audience.

Do you think that's true? That show, you know, it's older. It doesn't sound as sexy as the first one though.

Yeah, I mean, it's definitely not appropriate for me to be at a club popping bottles, so it might be less sexy, but it's just as fun, and the drama is just as consistent.

Just as consistent. Yeah, still good, great television.

Great television. We might be pop popping a few, you know, we used to pop like Kettle One, Still Rock, and like, you know, vodka. And now we're popping like champagne or bottles of wine. So it's just, it's a much more sophisticated, like everyone has more money, everyone's more established. So it's sexy in a different way.

Nice. Well, I want to mention that the, with inflation adjusted now, each of those bottles now, if you were to be popping them at the club are probably like 3 grand. So, you know, Probably smarter.

Yeah, trust me, they were like $750 back in the day, so I know.

Yeah, so now they're like thousands, and you'd probably be spending $20 grand a night. Yeah, going bankrupt, going totally popping bottles. Now let's talk about our mamas, you know, Egyptian moms versus, uh, Persian moms.

Let's do it.

Now, Persian moms versus Egyptian moms, who do you think is tougher, more dramatic, and more impossible to disappoint?

I, I think y'all are a little more militant than we are, so I think that an Egyptian mom might be a little tougher. Um, mine was a little softer, so I'm thinking Egyptian mom might be a little tougher.

Yeah, I mean, there's some validity. I've seen some crazy Persian moms too. We got a lot— we got a big Persian community here in Orange County.

Oh, I know.

I think it's probably the biggest in the country.

Oh, I know you do.

Yeah, so I'm pretty familiar with a lot of Persian moms, you know, and, and, you know, Persian kids are always pretty strict. They grew up in strict households.

Oh, I was— my parents were very, very strict. We were not messing around. I was— my parents could look at me and I was just like, you know, all of this stuff you see on Instagram and TikTok where the little kid is talking back to the parent It was not like that. I grew up, you got smacked if you— you did not even think about disrespecting a Persian parent. Like, Persian parents don't play. And there were a lot of perks. So like, you know, if I'm getting a Rolex and a convertible BMW, like, you got to stay in line because you got a Rolex when I was 6. So when, when it was going to be my 16th birthday Persian New Year, for Nowruz, we would get— it's like our Christmas, like we'd get a big gift. So they're like, what do you want for Nowruz? And I was like, I want a Rolex. And they're like, well, what are you gonna want for your birthday? I was like, a convertible BMW. They're like, you can't get a Rolex and a convertible BMW. I'm like, why not? We got it like that. And they're like— my parents were like, no, we got it like that.

You don't got it like that. So They love me so much, I ended up getting that Rolex. And then I was like, well, how about a Rolex and a Jeep Wrangler? And they were like, you know, a Jeep Wrangler is not safe. So I ended up getting a Rolex and a BMW.

Oh man. Yeah, your parents did pretty well here in the US then.

I mean, I grew up in Beverly Hills, so they weren't like struggling.

No, they weren't struggling.

They were not struggling.

They hooked you up.

They hooked me up.

I love that. Now, if a Persian and an Egyptian open a business—

walk into a bar—

if a Persian and Egyptian own a business together, yeah, who's the CEO and who controls the money and who yells first?

I mean, there's a lot of— I think that it would be a tie. I think they would be Have you ever seen like in Middle Eastern parliamentary like arguments, they're taking the shoe and they're throwing chairs? Honestly, I wouldn't recommend it. I would say divide your money and start your own business because y'all are going to get into too many arguments. Too many chefs in the kitchen. Like, it's not something I would recommend. And I would say go your own separate ways, do it on your own.

Now, you're one of the few, like, Persians that I know that are, like, famous, you know? Now, do you think fame impacted your life easy, easier? Did it make it harder? Did it make it weirder?

So I have a very strong constitution. Things in life are black and white. I'm very established. I've seen people come on our show who were, you know, wishy-washy, uncertain, unstable, you know, psychologically not 100% like grounded, 10 toes down. And you start reading comments where people are like, you know, I hope you die, go back to your country. Or women are coming up to you and like offering you oral sex and like things are happening and instead of realizing what the goal is, which is business, make this show amazing, get picked up for another season, you get caught up in, you know, the ladies or you're, you know, on Reddit reading all the hateful comments and It's wrecking your life. And for me, the number of people whose opinions matter to me, I can count on 10 toes and 10 fingers. So someone saying to me, like, you know, calling me the F-word that rhymes with maggot and telling me, you know, I should burn in hell. I'm like, okay, you're in your mom's basement. I've had the best life. I'm on TV, I'm activating you, like I'm taking up free space in your head.

Your comment means nothing to me because you mean nothing to me. But there are other people, it wrecks their life. They start losing weight, gaining weight. So for me, it didn't change things that much. It just gave me access to more people. If you talk to my friends from elementary school or high school, they would tell you I was exactly the same. I'm literally the same person I was back then still today. And the show has just given me a following. I get recognized a little bit and I get some opportunities here and there, but beyond that, I don't think that much has changed.

You know, that reminds me, while you're talking about the haters, um, I got to see Tim Grover speak this weekend. In the last couple days, and he mentioned something about haters. He's like, just like your bank account is growing, your hater account should be growing, because that means you're doing something right. If you don't have a bunch of haters, you're not doing it right. So your hater account should be growing just like your bank account should be growing, and that should be something that we all strive for. He's like, you shouldn't be checking your view count, you should be checking your hater account. You should be checking how many negative comments did you get, because that means you're doing something right. You piss somebody off, you're winning.

100%, yeah. I'm about the thought of the lovers and haters excite me. Like, people that aren't moved by me, I'm like, what is wrong with you? I'm, I'm a lot, so you either love me or you hate me, but if you're like in the middle of the road with me, that doesn't make sense to me. So yeah, I'm all about it. Like, hate me until the cows come home. You're doing nothing that affects me. Like, that's just— I'm taking up free space in your head. Thanks for living— letting me live rent-free.

That's awesome. See, that's a great concept to have. And when he put it in that context, I'm like, you know what, I need to be seeking more haters. Like, I never really looked at haters as—

cut to the day after, you're in your car driving, honking at people, flipping them off. You're like, fuck you, hate me.

I'm not gonna try to intentionally make you—

No kidding, obviously.

Um, now I, I got a quick question for you. What gets you more in trouble? Yeah, honesty or humor?

Well, I don't think my humor gets me in trouble because I'm funny AF, and I don't care how my humor affects you. If you don't appreciate it, there's something wrong with you. If you tell me I'm funny, it's the best compliment you could give me, and I actually think I'm a riot. My honesty, if I was telling you the things that I'm thinking in my head, which I keep to myself usually, you have to really like press my button for me to say the thing that I'm thinking that I know is gonna cut to the white meat. Like, and there's times, a lot of times on the show where I've done it. Like, if you say enough things to me the thing that I'm thinking might come out and I might hurt your feelings, so I'm gonna say the truth.

Love it, love it. Now, what's the most Persian thing about your business style?

The most Persian thing about my business style— so I grew up with an immigrant dad who killed the game and was in the antiques business, and he would have— he had a vault in his office, and he had so much cash in there. So I grew up with this notion that, A, you need cash in case you need to buy something really expensive, and B, you need cash in case some shit pops off and we need to leave, because we had to leave last time, so In my safety deposit box, I've got all my papers and there's a stack of cash just in case, like, we gotta like pack up and leave. I could just go to the bank with my little duffel bag, put my stuff in there, and like, if we have to move to Japan, you know, here we are starting over in Japan. Like, you know, you had to leave?

Like, your dad had to start over one day?

Hello, did you not ever see the movie Argo? That was the Islamic Revolution. We fled. Yes, we had to Yeah, we fled radical Islam.

Yeah, yeah, no, I know we fled radical Islam too in Egypt. Yeah, and that's a real— that's why we came. We came on asylum as well, and it's, it's some crazy stuff.

Yeah, I mean, we got lucky. We actually came on a vacation and we never went back, but we lost all our shit. So my parents had to start from scratch in America and rebuild his wealth.

Wow. What was— so were you around for that, for like that experience of seeing them start from scratch?

100%. My dad would put ads in Penny Savers across America, and he would send people self-addressed stamped envelopes offering to buy their rugs, and people would send him hundreds. There were people in his office sitting, opening envelopes and pulling out pictures of rugs. And every summer when I was out of school, my dad, myself, and a security guard/muscle guy who could help with the rugs, we would fly and he would plot out where we were going to buy these rugs. And I write about this in my book, Memoirs of a Gay Shah, which I brought you a copy of. We went to this old lady's house. She had sent my dad a picture of her rug. And we walk in and my dad says, "How much do you want for the rug?" And she got very upset with him and she's like, "Mr. Farahan, I told you it was $5,000 on the phone. I knew you were gonna try and pull this on me. It was $5,000 then, it's $5,000 now." And my dad, who's a Persian Jew from Esfahan— here's the book, Memoirs of a Gay Shah— My dad, who's an Esfahani Jew, a master negotiator, like his bloodline is Bazaar.

You cut his vein open, Bazaar blood comes out from in there. Like, he's a negotiator. This lady said $5,000. He said, okay, you want $5,000? I got you. He walked back to the car, he counted out $5,000, came back with the guard, They moved her furniture, rolled the rug up, gave her the $5,000. We put the rug in the van and we left. And I was so upset with them. I'm like, my dad, who's this master negotiator, didn't even talk her down. And I said, what's wrong with you? Why didn't you negotiate with her? He said, son, that is an antique Haris Serapi. It belongs in a museum, not on a floor. It's worth $250,000. By the next morning, he sold the rug for $250,000. Before we came home from that trip, he sold that $5,000 rug for $250,000.

Wow.

Yeah.

And that's the rare instance that you will see someone like your dad not negotiate the price down, because I am a master negotiator. I'm probably like your dad, and you hit me with the price, I come in significantly lower. But there's those rare instances where I'm like, this is a steal, I'm paying whatever the asking price is. Yeah, it's few and far between.

Few and far between. But that same vault that I talked to you about, you say, how did you watch your dad? My dad had hundreds of thousands of dollars of seed money in cash, and he started borrowing it from rich relatives and people that were immigrating from escaping Iran, he would tell them before they got here, sell everything you have, buy the most expensive. And he would tell them what rugs to buy, small rugs that through customs on both sides could be interpreted or perceived as prayer rugs, right? Because if you come to America and they open your bag and they see a rug and you say, what, you have a problem with my religion? That's my prayer rug. I pray on that rug 5 times a day. They don't say shit. They let you through. So here's this Persian Jew telling people how to convert their— they would sell their homes, their jewelry, anything they could sell and buy rugs and come to America with those rugs. They would come to my dad's office and he would cash them out and they would start their lives in America with that seed money that my dad would give them.

And for 10 years There were countless Iranians that would come to my dad's office with rugs that they had taken out of Iran because they had liquidated their entire life. And that's how my dad got wealthy in America.

I had no idea that you could embezzle rugs, number one. That's news to me.

I mean, is it embezzling though?

No, I know, but you know, I say that jokingly because there's a new thing that people are doing. They're doing something very, very similar. They're moving money from China, but they're not moving— or various countries, but they're doing it through sports cards. Because you come to, you know, you go through customs with sports cards, what are they going to tell you? You're carrying $200 million in sports cards in a little briefcase.

Yeah.

So, you know, I've never heard rugs were being done that way.

I mean, the thing is, the price there— those rugs aren't even around anymore. That was a class of rug that's still worth a lot, but Rugs have been mass-produced in Iran for a very long time, so we're talking about rugs that are hundreds of years old. I don't think you're going to be able to find those rugs anymore, even if you wanted to smuggle those rugs out of Iran. I don't think they even exist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's amazing.

I had no idea even rugs carry that kind of value. I have a personal question about that. Why are Persian rugs worth so much?

Because they're legitimately works of art. So if you— do you remember dot matrix printers?

Yeah.

So imagine you're taking thread and you're able to design something where it doesn't look like dot matrix and it looks like a painting. My dad would take me, show me a rug, flip it over, talk to me about the number of knots, the dyes, the color, the intricacy of the pattern, and the years it would take. This rug that I'm telling you about that was worth $250,000 was a huge rug in this woman's house, and her relative had been in the war, World War something, had been in Iran and brought this rug back. And like, it was a fluke that she ended up with it. She shouldn't have had that rug, but she ended up with a piece of art that belonged legit in a museum. And there's just a lot of it. We— in our house, I would point to a rug and I would say to my dad, how much is that rug? And he would say, it's 50 grand. And I would say, who's stupid enough to buy that? You could buy an S-Class Mercedes for that. Back then you could buy an S-Class for 50 grand. Not anymore, obviously. But I didn't realize the value.

As I got older and started understanding the complexity and what it takes and what kind of an artisan you have to be and the number of years you have to dedicate to knock out a rug that would fit in like a palace-sized living room, then I started to appreciate the fact that these were pieces of art.

Wow. And those, those really can't be cleaned though. They're like— you can—

they are— they can totally— they're made of natural wool and dyes. You can totally clean them. They don't— they're, if properly taken care of, they're like indestructible. I mean, literally, this woman wasn't taking care of this rug. It was just on the ground in her room. Luckily, there were no cigarette holes in it, or there was no damage to it. It was in pristine condition. My dad sold it 8 o'clock the next morning when, like, he went back to work and was calling his contacts. The rug was sold, and we packed it from Lexington, Kentucky to go to the buyer that it went to from where we were at. It never came back to his showroom. He never— like, one phone call and the one phone call and the photo, and the rug was done.

You seem passionate about the rug business.

Not at all.

Why didn't you stay?

Not at all.

Why didn't you stay in that business?

I, I was never in it to stay in it, but that that business afforded me and my family the most amazing childhood and life. My— we— so I have a lot of relatives that were way richer than we were, a lot that weren't as well off as we were, but we lived better than any of our relatives at the time. And it was because my dad and my parents were very, very, very generous. And we, we traveled. I wanted for nothing in my entire life. Like, if you ask me the way I was fulfilled as a child. We were the richest people in town. That's how I came up. So I have an appreciation for what my dad did, the business and the rugs, because of the life that it afforded us.

Now I got a question, because you grew up wealthy, um, and but you still have insane work ethic. Yes, grind like crazy.

Yes.

And a lot of people who grow up wealthy aren't like that. What do you think it is that inspired you to still have that sense of grit even though you don't have to grind?

Yeah, so I always talk about it like a race car. If you think of yourself like a race car, wouldn't you want to throw yourself on a track, put the pedal to the metal, and see what that race car could do? Why wouldn't I want— like, I'm super competitive, I'm passionate, I want to accomplish certain things on my own. Could I have not done anything? Sure, but at some point, you know, I wouldn't have the lifestyle that I have if I didn't work, and it gives me a lot of satisfaction to know that I'm accomplishing things, I'm moving up, I love negotiating, I love wheeling and dealing, it's just in me, that same bizarre blood that was in my dad's veins, it's in mine too, I, I I have friends who have lazy husbands that don't work, and I just think to myself, like, how? Like, it grosses me out. Like, it was just not an option. I'm just not cut from that cloth. I was gonna work and I was gonna kill it.

You're not just working, you're grinding.

Grinding. I do interior design, I do real estate, I write books, I do TV. We have a nut business. Me and my husband, we sell Persian nuts. Because if you've ever— I don't know if Egyptians are the same way, but if you go to a Persian person's house, there's always like nuts and seeds and stuff on the table.

Yeah, we are.

And so Adam was like, these Persian nuts and seeds— we have a company called The Pantry List Official. I brought these for you.

Oh, thank you.

Um, and this is yours too, by the way.

Nice. Look at this, man. You came with gifts.

I came with—

give you a book to, but I came with gifts, and I'm a big fan of nuts, you know.

Yeah, these are all organic. Everything is organic, and it's amazing. And it's my husband's way of literally sharing Persianity with the masses, because when you go to a Persian person's house, they feed you, and there are a lot of things that Adam eats, and he's like, I've never eaten this, what is this? I'm like, that's, uh, Ascari grape. He's like, I've never had raisins from Ascari grapes, they're amazing.

So this looks amazing. This is like a good mix, chocolate and pretzels.

Yeah, and that one's one of the big winners with Americans who like sweet stuff. It's not like the most Persian.

You don't eat chocolate at all?

No, I'm trying to stay skinny. We're about to start season 2 and I want to look good in a bathing suit.

Where, where can people find this? Is this at Whole Foods?

No, we, we're not. We're just direct to consumer right now on our website, thepantrylistofficial.com.

Looks amazing.

Thank you.

Great. I mean, I love the hustle, man. This is like, yeah, you're a hustle times 10. Like, you wake up crack of dawn and start hustling literally every morning.

Like you said, I drink my coffee, I start managing my portfolio. I like to make—

oh, and you didn't mention you also day trade.

I was like, yeah, yeah, that's like the first thing I do. 6:29, I'm on my computer. 6:30, I'm like, okay, certain stocks that I track, when they go down, I buy them. When they go back up, I sell them. I have a chunk of money that I just— it's in a retirement account. So I have this—

you trade yourself for your retirement account?

Yes, I trade. I have a self- directed SEP IRA. I have a few retirement accounts, but there's one that I trade in. So on the real estate front, my husband and I, we buy this house, really cute house. Um, we take it down to the studs, we add square footage, we put in a pool and spa. It's our dream house. By the time we're done with it, I start getting the itch. There's nothing else to do in this house. We've done the landscaping, the hardscaping, pool, spa, added square footage. Everything is brand new. I stayed in neighbor on the left, hey, when are you gonna sell me your house? He says to me, I'm never selling. But the old lady across the street from you is moving into assisted living. She's gonna be putting her house on the market soon. She's been there for over 50 years. I'm like, what? I didn't know. I write her a little Post-it note, I stick it to her door. I said, I don't know what you're gonna put it on the market for, but I kind of have a sense. I'm a realtor. What range it's in, and I know I can afford it.

So I said, whatever you're selling it for, I'm the buyer. She calls me back, I sent her a contract before we set foot in the house. I told my husband, if we move into that house, the people we rent our current house out to, based off of the minuscule-ass loan that we have on this house and the fact that we bankrolled all the renovations and everything we did with cash. The people that move in and rent this house will pay us to live in the house across the street for free based off the down payment we're putting across the street and the rent we're collecting and the loan and taxes and everything. So we bought that house, we moved into it, we have a tenant in our house, we built an ADU across the street, we've got a tenant in the ADU. We just put another thing.

You're a property manager, 100%. It's like, you got it. How many times— you're making me feel underappreciated.

Have side hustles. I'm about stacking them chips.

Yeah, you got, you got 7 jobs I counted so far. I'm sure there's 1 or 2 more somewhere.

And I do the gardening at the house that we live in. And I— no, no joke, no joke. It's a passion. I love it. My husband introduced me to gardening.

I heard it was actually really therapeutic.

It is. And the Persian Jew in me is like, wait a minute, there's something called propagation where you can take a plant, cut off a branch, stick that mofo in the ground, and it becomes another plant. I'm like, wait, you mean you can take this one plant, chop up all these branches, and make 20 new plants from that one plant? So at our current house that we live in, every plant almost is propagated. I could walk you around the property and point out the 3 or 4 trees that we actually bought at a nursery, but everything else is something where I cut it from another plant and stuck it in the ground, and it was a free plant.

So you milk the system with plants, man.

You have free plants. Nature. I went to nature's nursery and got all my free plants.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

Now, um, Let's, uh, let's— let me talk to you about, you know, image versus assets, because we deal with this a lot in LA. So what do people spend money on to look rich instead of becoming rich? Because that's something you dealt with all the time for people who want to be in your circle.

There's this book, it's called You Know You're Persian If or When. You Know You're Persian If or You Know You're Persian When. It's so funny. And one of the lines is You know you're Persian when you don't own a house and you don't have a job, but you still drive a fat-ass brand new S-Class. And I'm not about that life. I would rather— and I'm never gonna show you— I would rather have my 401k, my SEP IRA, all my retirement accounts be fat and not need to flex for you and drive a G-Wagon, spend $130,000 50 bucks to fill up my tank and like flex for you. Like, I don't want to flex for you. I, I drive a modest car. I actually, the last season of Shawz, was driving a 2020 911S Cabriolet. I was paying $2,500 a month for a lease payment. As soon as the show was canceled, it was at a time when cars were really hard to come by. It was at the end of the pandemic. I called the finance company. I said, what's the buyout? It was like 80-something grand. And I looked at Carvana, I could get $125,000 for it.

So I sent them a check for $89,000. They sent me the title. I took it to Carvana. They gave me an offer. I called a couple car dealers. I ended up getting $8,000 more grand than Carvana offered me. So I sold it for $125,000. So I made the difference.. And from that day in 2021, I put $2,500 in a separate account as if I still had that car payment. So imagine from 2021, we're in 2026, 12 months, every, every month I've been putting that money away. So for me, knowing I have financial security and stability is way more important than what other people care about. But I have friends that are broke that have much nicer cars than I do. So it just depends, like, what you're trying to accomplish, like, who are you doing it for? And I don't care what people think.

You know, I live a very frugal mindset. I would say Persian Jews are very similar to Coptic Orthodox Egyptians because I don't drive a nice car. Matter of fact, I was flying with a bunch of my competitors who work way under me and they're flying first class, I'm flying coach. They're driving Benzes, I'm driving a Honda, you know, like I don't care, you know. But guess what? Who has way more money? Who has way more assets? Who actually calculates their net worth? Probably me. My net worth is probably, you know, 100x theirs. You know, so for me, my net worth isn't dictated by like what I floss with, you know. Everything I get is like discounted or free or significantly like you know, like, are gifted or something. My value is in my character, my persona, my charisma. Yeah, like, I got game still, right? I don't need to flex with money. Yeah, thank God. I hope to never have to flex with money. I probably will have to at some point, but yeah, I'm still able to like leverage my good looks and charm.

Yeah, I mean, I don't get me wrong, people are gonna watch this and be like, bitch, you're wearing like $100,000 at least in gold. That's true. Like, between the watch and the Cartier and the David Yurman, this shit's pricey. But a bitch is still Iranian, and Iranians love some gold. My mom used to— my mom was a jewelry whore. I inherited that from her. I'm a jewelry hoe. So I— but gold has gone up. Gold is—

yeah, it's appreciating like crazy.

It's like crazy. Yeah, so even the stuff that I buy that makes me feel great, like I love it, it's all assets now. It's all assets, and totally they appreciate. But do I need to flex for people? I don't care what people think. Like, I'm not trying to impress the Joneses. I am the Joneses.

Let's go, baby! Now, how do you monetize being yourself without selling your soul?

I mean, my mouth is too big for me to sell my soul. Like my therapist said to me, I was talking to her about the book, you know, and there's things that I've said, whether it's in and around religion or politics or social causes, that I think if I had kept my mouth shut, I would make more money. But unfortunately, I have to be me. So whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, you're never gonna wonder where you stand with me. You will know 1,000%. I can be in a room with 100 people, or I can be in a room with 2 people. If I don't like you, you don't exist to me, and you're gonna know how I feel about you. I'm not fake. I wish I could be more fake. I would probably be able to capitalize off of being fake in a better way than being very transparent, but it's just not in me. So you're gonna know what you're getting. I'm not gonna stab you from the, the back.

I love that.

It'll come from my mouth right to you. I'll look you dead in the eyes and let you know, know how I feel.

There's so much more value in being authentic. I mean, especially in Hollywood, a place where it just rains fake people. You know, people are yearning for that authenticity. And that's kind of cool that, you know, you have that loud mouth because you tell it how it is. So that leads me to this question. Give me some brutally honest Bravo-style feedback about me as a guest host, about me as a podcaster.

I mean, I don't know that there's anything brutal to give.

Oh man, I love constructive criticism. I gotta keep growing.

Constructive criticism.

Yeah, give it to me. We're not live, so they might cut it out.

I mean, I've— this has been very fun and engaging. You do have 400 people working here, so you spending like money like a motherfucker. Hopefully this podcast makes money because there's a shit ton of people here. So other than like, you know, my— me being my dad, like, what is going on? Why so many people here? Like, you need lady bringing the coffee? Like, Go to a Starbucks. Like, what is going on? Like, pretty lady wearing diamond necklace. You overpaying everybody. What's happening here? There's the big guy, there's the Persian lady, there's this one. I saw one guy outside with the dog. Like, 400 people here. What's going on?

You know, we're not making money, but we are branding like crazy. So, you know, we are going to be making money hopefully soon. I love that. That was a great impression of your dad, by the way. Excellent.

Yeah, can I get my refill?

What's the most expensive, broke-looking behavior that you see in LA and in your industry?

So the most broke-looking behavior happened on this past season of my show where I had a new castmate who comes from very humble beginnings but was very disrespectful. The show is called The Valley Persian Style and everyone on the cast lives in the Valley and she proceeded to just trash the Valley all season long. Talking like she lives in Bel Air. And like you said about the 100x of the net worth, like, I know that I have way more than they have, but I don't act like they act. And just the— in LA, you find a lot of people who will just put on a little bit of bling, throw on an Hermès bag that may or may not be real, and just act like they own the world, and I find that to be a big turn-off. It doesn't make me think, oh, you're wealthy, or you're gonna buy a house from me. It just makes me think you're very disrespectful and you need to be checked. And, you know, I'm probably the one to do it.

You are. Yeah, that brutal honesty is so important. Um, now talk about Keller Williams. You know, I know you got one I think 9 jobs. By the way, before I ask about Keller Williams, what job makes the most money?

It just depends on the time of year that you're asking me, right? Depending on what escrow I'm closing, or, you know, we film for a certain amount of time. So it's tough because sometimes the real estate brings in a lot more money. Sometimes, you know, on a down market when interest rates are really high and it's hard to sell anything, You know, I went through the financial crisis.

Interest rates are really high.

Totally. And it's very difficult. And a lot of Persians have been pulling out that cash. I have friends, I'm like, I didn't— talk about living a modest life. And then all of a sudden, you know, I talk to them and I always ask a client like, hey, are you pre-qualified? Because I want to know. I don't want to show you a $2 million house if you can only afford to buy $1.3 based off of your debt, your income, your financial situation. Because in the early days, I made the mistake of allowing them to tell me what we could look at, right? Like, hey, what are we going to look at? And they'd say between 1 and 1.5. And then cut to once we did, you know, the pre-approval.

They qualify for $400,000.

Exactly. So now I want to make sure. And so I'm talking to one of my buddies who is the cheapest human being on earth. Never wants to go to a nice place to eat, is always trying to change the reservation when we're in a group setting to some like hooptie place that I don't want to eat at because the food sucks, it's not good quality food. And I'm like, hey, he's like, let's go, let's start looking, I'm ready to, you know, settle down and buy a place. I'm like, awesome, have you— do you have a lender? Have you spoken to someone? He's like, no. I'm like, why not? He's like, well, I'm not getting a loan, I'm paying cash. And I'm like, oh, okay, how— what's our budget? And he's like, you know, I could spend up to $2.5, but I'd like to keep it around $2. And I'm like, what? All those hoopty restaurants I went to, you've been sitting on $2.5? And that's just to buy the house. You obviously have to have other funds, right? Because you can't like bring your bank account down to zero once you buy a house. You have property taxes, car pay, like what?

2.5? So there have been many times when people have floored me with their financial situation in both ways. There's been times where I've taken someone out who is seemingly living the glamorous, like, I'm like, okay, Sheila E, let's go look at them houses, and cut to like, they're needing to get a cosigner. Like, their parents had to cosign on that loan because they owe so much money on like 12 credit cards are maxed out. And I'm like, I want to say something because obviously I'm communicating with the lender now. I know that they're co-signing, and I want to be like, bitch, why are you maxing these credit cards out? But I keep my mouth shut, do the deal, and keep it pushing.

Yeah, they got an image to front on, and that's a, that's a thing, you know?

Yeah, I mean, my dad was like, credit card interest is for morons. You don't ever buy anything that you can't afford to pay off when the bill comes. Only use an American Express card. Because you can't, you have to pay that thing off every time. My dad was someone, he would come to your business and he'd be like, oh, this is nice ice cream shop. You own the building? And they'd be like, well, no, I own the business. I'm the ice cream shop owner. He's like, oh, okay, you're an idiot because you're just making somebody else rich. You're just paying, you're working your ass off on these $2 ice cream scoop to pay rent to the guy who's really making the money, right? So like, I grew up with this mentality of— I had a TED Talk, you know, like this master class in finance. We would go— my dad was rich. We would go buy cars for my mom. It was going to be a Mercedes, and my dad would put on ratty house clothes. I'm like, why? What the hell? You don't go out of the house like that. He's like, You want them to think that they are fighting, fighting hard to get you into that car.

Like you are scraping all your pennies and nickels together. Don't make them think you rich and you can afford this car. Make them think like they have to fight to get you in this car. And so I'm wearing like a Ralph Lauren polo. I'm like all cute. And the dad looks like a bum and we're driving off in a brand new Mercedes. But my dad was right. He got it for a deal that like, You're like, how do you do that? Yeah.

Me and your dad would have been best friends. I'm telling you, I'm just the same way. Yeah, I think I'm Persian Jew. All right, Reza, you've done really well for yourself. Yeah, obviously you know how to invest, you know how to hustle.

Yeah.

How old were you when you bought your first property, and how important is owning real estate in the society this day and age?

Owning real estate in this day and age is really important because the stock market and the real estate market are real wealth creators. I have so many relatives that I watched growing up that were dentists or merchants or business owners. It didn't matter what they did for a living, but they were immigrants who didn't have a retirement plan, who didn't have a pension. But I watched them do their business and buy up real estate, and by the time they were old enough to be the retirement age, they stopped working and they had mad passive income from all of the real estate that they'd been accumulating. And I watched them just buy real estate their whole lives. Persians are obsessed with real estate. I was in my early 20s when I bought my first condo, and the only thing I regret is not holding on to that condo and just adding to the portfolio. I wish I had never sold anything. I wish I had never sold any of my real estate, but the homeowner's dues were getting too high, and I was worried that it would cannibalize my income from the rental income. So, but I built my business, Joe, asking friends how much they were paying in rent, And at that time in 2000, 2001, I would find them a property that they could afford to buy and I would pencil it out.

Like, if you put this much down and you call your CPA, I bet you the tax savings on the interest on this loan at the end of the year, because you have good income, if you take everything else into consideration, you could afford to buy. And here are 3 places that I found for you. And that's how I legit built my career, just selling stuff to people that were paying too much in rent.

Not a lot of people in your space really know how to identify like the cost-benefit analysis, the tax savings, applying it, the cost segregation. That's— those are tough concepts for your average realtor.

Not really when you have a Persian Jew as a dad who taught you how the world works and how to save money and how to build wealth. And how to not be destitute when I'm older, because those were all things that his dad taught him that, you know, obviously he applied US tax codes and he was teaching me based off of us living in America, but it was just adapted from the things that his father taught him. So not only was I able to tell you that the only, at that time, the only two-drawer dishwasher was a Fisher Paykel, or I could look at the stone on the counter and tell you that it was vein-cut travertine, or look at, you know, a piece of art that was hanging on the wall and tell you who the artist was. Like, I want to know everything that has to do with my industry, not just like, hey, this is a house, it's a good deal. I would literally get— if I had a client in the car and we were driving around together and they pointed to a building while we were driving, "Hey, are there any condos in that building for sale?" I could tell you, "Oh, that's not a condo building, that's an apartment building, so no, there are no units for sale." I would study before I had any clients that were willing to buy real estate from me.

I just wanted to have as much knowledge. Like, if you called me and said, "Hey, I want to buy a 2-bedroom, 2-bath with in-unit laundry and central air conditioning," what buildings were available to me. There are a lot of buildings in LA that are converted apartment buildings that don't have central air and heat, that don't necessarily have in-unit laundry. So I wanted to just be a wealth of information. I wanted to be able to stand out from other realtors, like give advice, obviously tell people to speak to their financial advisor because that's not what I do for a living, but I can share that based off of my first condo, this is what I experienced. I had a lot of savings because I had this write-off. So you should talk to your money person and see if that could apply to you considering your financial situation. And 9 times out of 10, they would come back to me and say, hey, Reza, great advice. My money guy is telling me 1,000% I should buy, that I would benefit from having this write-off.

Love it, love it. I mean, everything is sound. You seem like, you know, you're pretty versed in financial literacy, and that obviously is a result of your dad's efforts. But listen, most, most realtors didn't grow up with a Persian Jew dad.

No.

You know, so he taught you financial literacy probably when you were born.

100%. He wanted me to save money. He had a bank account open for me when I was a little kid. He was telling me about compounded interest and things that, you know, you don't talk to little kids about.

Yeah. So my kids are savage entrepreneurs already. They got Bazaar coming out of their blood as well because it's tough to raise wealthy kids with like grit.

Yeah.

You know, and that's why I asked you that question, because it's, it's a real thing for me, you know, having 4 kids and just trying to figure out how they're going to— Mashallah. Mashallah. Exactly. You're going to love this question.

Yeah.

What's the weirdest thing a wealthy buyer has ever demanded from you? Not like a sex dungeon or something.

Not at all. It's actually alarming. So I was— I ended up selling him an $8 million house, and I had booked a ton of appointments for us to look at a lot of houses. And I had lunch at the Ivy on Robertson. I was going to take him to a beautiful, beautiful lunch, and then we were going to continue on. And he was from out of town, so I knew I had like 2 days with him, and both days I had tons of houses with a lunch in between. And we look at a couple houses and he said, I'm starving. I said, okay, well you know, we're gonna have lunch in an hour. He's like, no, no, no, I'm starving, I need to eat now. And I was like, well, we're literally— we have a realtor waiting for us, we have to go to this appointment. He's like, no, call, reschedule, I don't feel good, we need to eat. And I'm looking at $8 million house, up to $10, $12 actually. He ended up buying $8, but it was a fixer. So he had me pull into a 7-Eleven. I parked the car. He went in, dressed 3 hot dogs with mustard, relish.

I could see it and it was coming down his face. He got it on his shirt. He ate those standing up in the parking lot while I was calling all of our appointments to push them for like 30 minutes so he could eat the fully dressed hot dogs in the parking lot of 7-Eleven. And, um, we went, we looked at the houses, we ate lunch. You would think he had never seen food. He had the biggest lunch, as if he hadn't scarfed down 3 hot dogs in the parking lot of 7-Eleven. But he was the nicest guy. I had the best time with him. But he was hangry, like he was angry with me. He was pissed. I'm like, dude, we have lunch in an hour. I was gonna offer him like a protein bar. He's No, pull over now. I'm like, there's nowhere to eat. He goes, there, 7-Eleven. And I went, pulled into 7-Eleven, and he killed it, and we kept it pushing.

What's funny is he was probably like a really skinny guy too, huh? No, he was a big guy.

No, he was a big guy.

Oh yeah, dude, that's funny. Just pounded 3 hot dogs.

Pounded, pounded. Yeah, they were like 2-bite hot dogs.

That's hilarious.

Yeah.

Those would fill up anybody.

3 giant hot dogs. And then I— it was like a $250 lunch at the Ivy. No joke. Like, I was obviously glad to do it because he bought an $8 million house from me. But yeah, it was, it was the weirdest thing. I literally, I just had to, because I didn't want to miss out on any of the appointments because each one of them was really special and unique. And I wanted to make sure we saw each of the houses. So I literally called each one of them and just like bumped them for another 20 or 30 minutes. A few of them I had to juggle around. So I sat in my car behind the seat rolling calls, and he was standing on the curb, curb in the parking lot of 7-Eleven, just scarfing the hot dog combination. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, we're gonna roll into it next. Now do we do the game show?

I mean, this isn't that far off. I know, it's perfect for me. The Egyptian and the—

let's go, baby! All right, Reza, now we're gonna be—

yes, Pharaoh!

Yes, yes, Prince Reza! We are going to be doing a quick game show now. We're both in our, our swag, and, uh, you're, uh, me and you're gonna decide if it's Persian or if it's Egyptian.

Let's go!

First question: Who would negotiate over a $4 parking fee even if they know they can afford it?

Persian.

I mean, I think both of us on that one.

My friend, I give you $2. I pay cash, no tax.

Habibi, no, no, no, I'll pay $2.50. Okay, has an aunt who knows everyone's business. This before the person involved even knows?

Obviously that's going to be both of us.

Yeah, for sure.

100%. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I've got a few. They'll tell you shit about you you didn't even know.

Man, my Persian aunt, my Egyptian aunt. Oh my gosh. Okay, calls 5 times because you did not answer once.

That's my mom, so that's Persian.

Yeah, Egyptians all day too on that, man. These are—

this This, this, I think the whole list sounds like it's like both of us.

Yeah, this one's definitely— I mean, this, this is all, all our cultures. I mean, says eat, you're too skinny, then immediately comments on your weight.

That's definitely everyone in my family. Every meal, like, why habibi? Every meal, every meal.

Um, judges the wedding. The food, the flowers, and the seating chart.

Well, that was my sister's wedding, and the reason why I didn't spend $300,000 to get married at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills, because my sister had the most beautiful wedding that was photographed. It's actually published in a wedding book, and people talk shit about her wedding, and I was lucky to get married for Free on Shahs of Sunset.

Persian Jew style. Let's go. All right, round 2.

Yes.

Shahs and loans.

Yes.

Is it financially responsible or Bravo delusional? Okay, that's the premise.

Okay.

My cousin wants a $4 million house but works 3 hours a week and says his business is about to pop.

Yeah, that's delulu. Delulu.

I mean, how many people do we know like that?

A lot of people.

Yeah, all day, you know.

Uh, okay, I had a stupid friend that put $2 million down on a $5 million house because he thought his career was gonna continue popping. I told him to buy a modest house. He bought the $5 million house, put the $2 million down, the market turned, and he did a short sale and walked away with nothing because he wanted to flex and live in a big mansion.

It's just sad.

I would literally jump off of— like, I would hurt myself.

People are so financially illiterate and want to flex so much. It's like, how do you get through these people?

If I lost $2 million, I would never forgive myself.

I get mad about a parking ticket, you know? It's like, uh, okay, next question. A couple wants to buy in Beverly Hills, but they're fighting with you during the showing. Yeah, you still Write the offer.

Absolutely. They could just be having, you know, they could be hangry. Maybe they need a 7-Eleven hot dog.

Okay. Financially responsible or Bravo delusional. Someone wants a mansion because their ex just bought one. Good mo— good motivation or financial disaster?

That's a financial disaster.

I agree. I agree. Next question. Client says, I don't want to show bank statements. But trust me, I got the money. What do you say?

Well, as soon as you got me, I'll make some appointments and take you to go look at some houses, but until you either talk to a lender or show me some bank statements, I can't give you my time. Sorry, can't help you.

Round 3. Okay, Persian mom approval rating from 1 to 10.

Yeah.

I mean, obviously renting versus buying.

Zero. One. If you're renting, you are bedok. You have no money. Unless you are investing that money in businesses that are making more for you than the appreciation of this real estate over the same amount of time. Because some of my friends are like, buddy, I'm making so much money. I don't want to waste that money on the down payment for a house. I'm making so much money off that money. And then I'm I'm thinking, bitch, if you making so much money, why aren't you buying a house?

Like, first indicator of your net worth is your house. Yeah, first indicator. And it's funny when I get these people flexing. We've had some people, you know, come through that like very fancy. I'm like, where do you live? Bel Air? Like, do you own? Rent? Like, rent? Like, come on, bro, you got to be buying, you know. People should not be paying $30 grand a month in rent. That's just crazy. And you got a lot of that in LA, so much. Uh, now next question: dating someone your family has not fully investigated, 1 through 10.

Wait, that question implies that your family investigates all the people that you date. I want to date someone, and when I get serious with them, then I want to bring them around my family. My family will destroy a relationship faster than, you know, you can count to 10, so I don't know about Egyptian families, but you bring it. When my husband met my dad's side of the family, he goes, man, these people are nice. They're not like your other side of the family. I was like, honey, they were just putting you through the wringer. You got to meet my dad's family after me and you were like together together.

Um, next question: ordering takeout when there's food in the fridge.

I mean, sometimes you might have a craving But I will tell you, I went on Worst Cooks in America and I won the competition, and I had a master chef teach me how to cook. And my DoorDash account— Postmates and DoorDash— I was spending $3,000 to $4,000 a month ordering lunch and dinner every single night because I wasn't cooking and I was working so much and I wasn't preparing. Like I wasn't taking my meals as seriously as I should. Once I learned how to cook, I'm spending $0 a month on DoorDash and Postmates, and I'm thinner than I've ever been. So health-wise and money-wise, DoorDash isn't a good idea. But sometimes you do get a Big Mac attack, and it's okay to indulge. I'm just saying, like, you don't have to be militant with the shit. You can like You know, sometimes you can be like, oh, I can have those leftovers tomorrow. You know, I want sushi tonight. You can, you know, splurge once in a while.

Eating at home is the way to go if you can do it.

It is because also you're controlling your macros, which is really important. You don't know what's going in the, you know, the food out. Yeah.

You don't know who's touching it.

No, touching it, smacking it, flipping it, rubbing it down. By the time you get it, it could have spit and 2 boogers in there and you don't know.

Oh, that's a good way to put it. I'm not going to eat out again. Now, next question: buying a property versus buying a luxury car.

You know what's so funny that you're— I was just in the car on the way here talking to a friend of mine who just got the new electric G-Wagon, and I went on the MLS in Palm Springs, and there's a short sale condo for $149,999 in a development where I used to own an income property in that building. And I was like, you know what, I really do love that electric G-Wagon, but if I were gonna part with $150K, I would buy that short sale and keep driving the car I'm driving because I'd make a few G's off of renting that property out.

Give me that property, I'll buy that one. Yeah, yeah, but that's gonna go over sale, it's gonna go over short sale price. I mean, and you gotta come in all cash, right, on that. What's that worth? Probably no problem, $250K.

So I sold one in original condition. I bought one at the, at the tail end of the financial crisis. I bought one in that development for $50K. I sold it a few years ago in original condition after I rented it out and the owner, the— my tenant paid me $100,000 and something while they were living there. While they paid me back double my money. And then when he left, I sold it for $172,500. And now a much nicer unit redone in the building for $150,000. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm interested. But you can't rent it during Coachella, probably.

You can rent it whenever. And that building allows short-term rental as well.

Oh, that's cool. Now, last question.

Yeah.

Going on reality TV and letting the whole family's business out.

I mean, so you're asking someone who went on reality TV and let his whole family's business out. So what's the question? On a scale—

approval rating from your family, 1 through 10.

I think based off of everything I've been able to do with letting that out, I think they would all give me a 10 because I went on TV as a Middle Easterner at a time when people in the industry were saying to me, we need to do more focus group testing, we don't know if America is ready to watch a bunch of Middle Easterners on Middle Easterners on TV. People thought we had horns, like we were all portrayed as either like merchants, terrorists, like, you know, the— or kings, the sultans. There weren't that many of us on TV. And after going on TV, I had people say to me, "I wish I was Persian," which was the craziest phenomenon in my life. So if you ask my family now, in hindsight, they're down with it and they support me. So I'm very lucky.

Took only 10 years of, uh, yes, you know, focus-proof, but it's all good.

Yeah.

It's been such a pleasure to have you on the show. We got a small gift for you. Well, a few small gifts. I don't know if we— this is a book that we picked out. I know you love cats.

I love cats. Oh my God, what a thoughtful gift, Joe. Thank you so much.

Yeah, this is a beautiful—

what a gorgeous book.

And another—

oh my God! Oh shit, man! Oh my God, this is amazing! Oh my God, so sweet! Oh my God, there's so much stuff in here!

I know, hopefully it just doesn't go in a closet.

Oh my God, that's so sweet! Thank you guys!

We signed the book for you too, so thank you.

Read So sweet of you guys. I really appreciate it. I had a great time. This was way better than I thought it was going to be.

Yeah, this was great. We really appreciate you coming on the show today. It's been so fun. If people want to connect with you or, you know, get in touch, ask questions.

@RezaFarahan across all my socials. Drop me a DM, hit me up. Let's get into it.

People want to watch The Valley Persian Style. Where can they watch it now?

They can watch The Valley Persian Style on Peacock, and I think it's streaming on Hulu as well.

Let's get it. Reza, awesome show. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Thank you so much for having me. I had a great time.