Transcript of Leanne Morgan

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepherd. I'm joined by Lily Padman.

Hi.

And Sharon Beasley.

Hello.

Um, today we have an incredibly funny and wonderful woman, Leanne Morgan. She is a comedian, an actor, and an author, and she has, uh, the most funny show on Netflix called Leanne, appropriately. And also, uh, You're Cordially Invited and Leanne Morgan: I'm Every Woman. These are stand-up, uh, specials. She's a hilarious stand-up. And a hysterical actor now on a sitcom. I love her. Enjoy Leanne Morgan.

Look at your arms and legs.

Let's look at them together. Thank y'all so much for having me. Oh, come on.

Little Monica!

Hi!

My little baby is a huge armchair-y and she cannot even believe I'm here. I can't believe I'm here.

I didn't email him my notes. I'll be right back.

Okay, my darling.

Get all the drinks and stuff.

I need to work out. No, no, it's too hard.

It's just too hard to do. But we have to, bone density.

Bone density. It's all the rage. And I saw Mary Claire on it, y'all.

Yes!

I did a thing with Mary Claire with Oprah.

Of course.

On ABC about menopause.

And what were the big takeaways?

I had a podcast years ago that would be huge now.

Yeah.

But I stopped because I got to touring so heavy.

Yeah.

But it was called Sweaty and Pissed: Menopause and More. And it was a brilliant nurse practitioner with me who helped me with my hormones. And but we made it funny.

Yeah.

And they asked us to go on tour and I just got too busy.

Yeah.

And I think now if we'd kept that—

Definitely. It's all the rage.

Everybody's now talking about menopause. I know.

No one, like, cared about menopause until recently.

I have got to laugh. And I enjoy it. I really do enjoy it. But then I get to a hotel room on tour and I just think, I've gotta go stare at the wall so I can be funny.

Yeah. How many days are you on tour a year?

I'm all the time right now. You look like one of those Ironman men that are running and doing that Ironman, that are swimming and biking and doing in Arizona.

No, thank you.

How about these, like, ultramarathon guys that are running— and women— that are running through Death Valley on, like, mile 97? I'm like, how? I really can't conceptualize it.

I know. And I know a couple of people who do that. My orthodontist is tiny and fit and looks cute in his pants. And he'll say, I'll give myself a little treat once a week. And I go, what is it? And he goes, I'll drink one of those little dentist cups of Diet Pepsi.

And I'm like—

Oh my God.

Well, he hates himself.

That is not a fun life. No, he's angry at himself.

Oh, no, and I'm sitting there eating pork sausage.

Yum.

Wait, you have an orthodontist?

I have an Invisalign. When I was 40-something, all of a sudden, I started looking like Joan Rivers.

I loved her.

God rest her soul.

Yeah, I love her. Yes.

But I had a side bite, and all 3 of my children were in braces, and me at the same time.

Oh, wow.

And I said to that little orthodontist, 'cause we have a chemistry, I said, what am I buying you, like a pool or a fountain?

What is this?

Literally. 'Cause we had a pool.

And it was money going out. And I would go with them and get mine tightened while they got theirs tightened. And then I kind of let 'em go. I didn't wear my retainer. So then I had to do Invisalign again.

Well, your teeth look beautiful.

Thank you.

I must say. You're an angel. Thank you. Well, who knew I was gonna blow up and be a movie star?

Who knew?

I'm kidding.

Good God.

But I had to have good teeth and not have a sound bite.

That's true. Did you have orthodontia as a child?

No.

No.

And my mama begged my little dentist. But back then, you know, they didn't let everybody have it. Or maybe in the country. But they were okay back then. And they didn't get twisted up until I was in my 40s.

I had them from probably starting at like 7 years old until 11th grade. It was a full, all-hands-on-deck operation to get my teeth to look like this.

And you don't wear a retainer.

I should have. One went rogue when my wisdom teeth came in. This one was like, not enough room, I'm gonna hang back here. And now I have that. And currently, our oldest daughter has the same matching fucked-up tooth, and I really love it. And of course, she's gonna fix it, but I kind of want her to keep it so we have something in common.

When you have something different. I think that's cute.

Character.

I think when everybody gets the teeth, the Hollywood teeth, and they're pretty, but I think there's something about your own personality, and I think it's pretty. I think there's something to it. My orthodontist said, we don't want, Leanne, you to just be odd looking and everything be almost purple, they're so white.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. When you were not in here, we were talking about menopause, and teeth move around in perimenopause and menopause. Like, everything gets loose, they say.

So I'm waiting on this.

What's the evolutionary benefit for women's teeth getting worse?

I don't think it's just like staying at home ready to— exactly. Ready to die.

Ready for them to all come around. Just stay at home and tend to grandbabies.

That's right.

You don't need teeth for that.

You shut your mind off.

Yep.

No talking.

What do you need teeth for? You're sitting at home with the grandbabies.

Exactly.

Do you remember meeting?

Honey, at the Emmys, when I walked behind you and little Kristen and her little fanny and lower back was so beautiful in that dress. And we were right— I was right behind you when we did that. Where you get in front of a camera and it goes around you and all that.

Make sure it's every terrible— because you're like, for me, before I go to those things, I'm looking and I'm like, okay, there's a 2-degree angle where I look fine just right here. I've not anticipated 360 up and down. How could you?

What the heck?

But, but, Leanne, we met before that.

We met before that at the Opryland.

Yes.

That's what means the most to me because you meet 1 million people at the Emmys. But we did get to see you at Opryland.

At the Opry, and I got to see your babies. They were there.

Yeah. And that was our first time ever going to the Opry.

Special.

What a joy. It's truly special. I did probably an hour on it on this show over time, but there's so many things that are wonderful about it. It's just like the most comforting, wholesome, pleasant experience.

And when you think about who's been in that circle.

Yes, yes, yes.

Elvis.

Yeah, that's amazing.

Patsy Cline.

Yeah.

Do you feel it when you're up there?

Yeah.

You do, yeah.

It's very special. And the first time, I mean, very intimidating. And I'm thinking, what am I even doing here?

Was that your first— that wasn't your first time.

That was not my first time performing there. But I grew up going and seeing the Opry because my little mom and daddy had a meat processing plant. And we would do the meat for country music stars and the people that ran the Opry, the president of the Opry. So we got free tickets every year.

Oh.

So I saw Dolly Parton, Porter Wagoner, Roy Acuff. Minnie Pearl, when I was a child growing up. But I also saw them out at the grocery store and stuff too.

Yeah.

'Cause I was raised right outside of Nashville.

Yeah.

Adams, right?

624.

Current pop.

I always say 500, but there's 624 people now.

And those 124 you've left out probably feel a little bit offended, and they're wondering, who have you edited out to get to 500?

Oh, no.

So, first question I had for you, and I want to know a lot about the meat processing. That literally is one of my questions, and you already brought it up.

But are you sick of telling your story at this point?

No.

You're not? Can I first say, though, that Brad Pitt was sitting here where I'm sitting?

He sure was. He sure was.

Do you feel, again, as like the Opry, do you feel his energy?

Yeah.

Legends of the Fall.

I said to Monica when he left, I would encourage you, and I would not tell anyone if you wanted to smell the seat.

Okay.

Yeah.

You know he let us drink out of his cup.

With his straw, right? I think we shared a straw.

We all shared a straw.

Was he beautiful in person?

Of course.

Oh, he's so beautiful.

And you're like, I just can't decide.

Is he cuter now, or was he cuter in Legends of the Fall, or was he cuter in—

Does he have a sweet spirit?

Yes.

Yes, incredibly. Well, you'd like him because he's a Missouri boy. Like, he's a bit country, more than you might think.

Oh, Lord.

Yeah.

Cute.

He's so nice. Oh, I know, I know.

Cute.

Good sense of humor. He didn't have us edit anything out. That's really good for someone of his stature.

Yeah.

Very competent motorcyclist. We've gone to the track together, and he's very, very talented on a motorcycle. So he can really do it all.

Oh, Lord.

Yeah, he's got style.

It's a lot.

He is cute. Okay.

Okay, great.

So you're not—

because I'm wondering, you know, you have such a unique story, and then you're kind of obligated to tell us the story nonstop. And I was just wondering, as you're coming in here, like, is she sick of telling this story?

No, y'all, I'd love to talk about all that because I do think this is so crazy that this happened to me.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Every day I'm just like, what? in the world.

That's amazing.

Yeah. Especially from where I came from.

Yeah. The first curiosity I had is, it's very exciting for us, but literally, Monica, close your eyes and imagine next year, Nirmala has a show on Netflix.

That's my mom. I can't.

It's impossible, right?

Like, can you even—

Listen, I love my mom, but what's the show gonna be about?

Debriefs on her YouTube exploits.

Oh, she could have a show on that. No, she could have a show about all the trials that are going on, and she could report on that.

She loves a trial.

She does. She loved that Amber Heard—

There's a big trial right now.

Big trial going on.

Which one's going on right now?

Really sad one about—

Okay, let's—

No, we're gonna talk about it.

Oh, you're gonna hear it.

The woman who murdered her children.

Ew. Okay, I'm vaguely aware of that.

You think my mom was following along?

Oh, to a T. She's watching the trial real time.

Riveted.

Riveted.

She's riveted.

Yeah.

She really loved the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial. She didn't miss a moment.

Even though I told her, I was like, that's unethical. Like, you're not allowed to like that. And then she was like, ugh. And then she just had like one earbud in. She was just like all in. listening to it, just one earbud, pretending like she wasn't. I was like, I see you.

Does she love Nancy Grace too?

I wonder. I'll ask.

Yeah.

Because Nancy Grace, you know, she's on it.

Yes, she is on it.

She's on it.

She got the bone in her teeth. She's like the dog.

I think my mom might think she's a little crazy.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

But I'm gonna check.

But for real, can you imagine? I mean, anyone listening, imagine next year your mother's incredibly famous. It's so abstract. You had a mother. Imagine at one point she got wildly famous. at 60.

I know, y'all. I know. Even though my mama could have.

Really?

Lucille. She's very funny. She's 83 now. I mean, she always cheered me on and was like, yeah, you're going to Hollywood. But always been very funny. Has got friends that are 20 years old all the way up to 80. Yeah, everybody loves her.

How are your kids computing that?

I do think they finally caught up with what's going on. I had somebody say to me, that's another comedian doing really well, that his therapist said, your family's the last one to catch up with what's happening.

Yeah.

Because they're not out there seeing it. And see, Chuck Morgan, like, I would say, I mean, this is a pretty big check. And he'd be like, it could stop tomorrow. You don't know. Like, let's don't spend any money. Okay? My baby child is my makeup artist. Like, went to school for makeup for television and film and is in the union, which is a godsend because she's with me helping me all the time. So she saw it and would see fans and would see the crowds at a theater or whatever. So she got it. But my other kids and my husband, it took them, and my parents and my sister. Like, it's taken everybody a while to figure out, oh, this is big.

You blew 'em over.

And I told 'em, I go, if this is too much and y'all don't want this, tell me now, 'cause I can stop this train. But once it starts going, I can't stop it. And everybody's like, grrr. And then nobody knew how big this would get.

Yeah.

You would think on the outside people would be like, oh, they must be so proud. But I would argue, knowing my children, like, maybe embarrassed. Like some bit of embarrassment. Like, oh my God, my mom's everywhere. You know what I'm saying? Or maybe your kids are old enough now that they don't know.

They're older now.

Okay.

30, 33, and 28. So they're like, this is crazy, Mom. I mean, they're tickled. I mean, they love it. But I've been a stand-up for 27 years. So when they were little bitty, I was on Nick at Nite's Funniest Mom. America, and their school wanted me to— they wanted to show it at PE and that kind of stuff. So they've seen, but my career wasn't going— I mean, it was fine. I was just grinding, and they didn't understand. I mean, they were like, oh, she's a comedian. I might as well have been working at Target. I'm not kidding. Like, you know, because there wasn't that much big stuff going on. The Nick at Nite thing was pretty fun. They came and filmed us at our house. They were elementary. That is so fun.

Okay, and now how about Chuck though? Because I would imagine again, you'd be so proud, so happy. But also, I would be a little bit like, do I have a role in this life? This is now a big chunk of your life. I know he traveled nonstop for work, or maybe still does. But that could be scary as a partner of— you guys been married, what, 30 years?

34 years.

34 years.

And he's been the provider and a very overachiever executive for a company. He's worked for the same company And his pride— I mean, that's been his role. And that's been very important for him.

His identity.

Mm-hmm.

Uh-oh.

When this started blowing up, he said, you don't need me anymore. And I go, yeah, I do. Because I came from a mom and daddy that had a business together and were a team. He came from a family where the dad took care of everything. And do we have life insurance or something? Goes, I can take care of it. Don't worry about it. That's what he came from. So that's been a little— Yeah, that's hard. Yeah. But then now he's still working. People ask all the time, is he going to retire? I mean, he's running a division of a company.

He probably doesn't want to retire.

He doesn't want to.

Yeah, yeah.

And he, you know, needs purpose. He doesn't need to be out here fooling around, you know, with this.

Sitting in a director's chair on the side of a set, getting bored out of his mind, going, what happened to our life?

Yeah.

Yeah. I just think it'd be scary. Not to say that it won't all be great, but it's just a real shakeup for something that was humming along pretty consistently for 30-plus years. Like, it's just a big event.

I know, y'all. And I was— for 20 years of it, I was making the same amount of money, which was pitiful, for a corporate gig or, you know, breast cancer fundraiser. I was working some clubs.

Chamber of Commerce lunch.

Chamber of Commerce luncheon in Dubuque, Iowa.

Yeah. Couldn't book the dinner slot.

No, they didn't want me for the nighttime thing. But all that happened for years, so Yeah, there was no imbalance or anything. It was like, well, Lynn's making the money to get uniforms, haircuts. That's what I did. I got 2 headshots made in 20-something years, which was stupid. I didn't even think to invest in myself. My friend did my website, but I was having television deals. Hollywood was coming after me that whole time. I had like 5 deals for sitcoms over the years.

Wow.

From the time they were little. Until now, and one made it.

Okay, so yeah, now let's go through it chronologically because I do want to hear all the little steps of the deals and stuff. And I'm sure the excitement, the disappointment, the excitement. It's like, oh my God, this ride. But yeah, back in Adams, Tennessee, which I guess is almost to the border of Kentucky, is it?

It's on the Kentucky-Tennessee border.

It is, but only 35 minutes from Nashville.

35 minutes north of Nashville.

Okay. And as we said, 600 folks. The school— this is very new to me. I didn't even know they had these. Your school was straight K through 12?

K through 12, 650 students. So I ate lunch with the kindergartners.

Oh, doesn't that seem wild to have like 18-year-olds and 5-year-olds all together?

It does.

I mean, it sounds fun, but also crazy.

Yeah, it does.

I know it was really sweet. I went to church with all my teachers. Like everybody knew everybody. It's a big farming community, all farming really. So my high school was Future Farmers of America and home ec. I took home ec. Not a lot of college prep, but people went on to college, but a lot of people got out and farmed with their families.

And what was your role in this school? Were you class clowny?

I was class clowny and pretty camp.

Yeah. That reads.

I got Miss Jo Burns and best looking. That's the perler I got was best looking, y'all.

Really?

That's like a dream. I really think I peaked in high school. Really. But yeah, but I was always telling jokes, and then the teachers would say, can you do the announcements for this? Can you emcee this thing? And I was like, yeah! And then, we had speech and drama, and I loved— and we did improv in it. My heart almost burst. But I had a boy in my class, out of 42 people, he went to Juilliard.

Oh, wow.

No way.

And his daddy was a Methodist minister and a dairy farmer. And he's been in movies, and television, and on Broadway.

Amazing.

And then, there were 4 boys, and he was included in that, that had started a little country music band. that I think maybe got some kind of record deal, cut an album, but then they all decided to stop and they all went to college and, you know, became engineers and attorneys or whatever.

Yeah.

But I had a lot of talented people. Yeah.

Yeah. Kind of overachievers for this—

And, you know, kind of fun people. My choir director, all— they were all darling.

What about dating? That's a very tiny pool of folks. You date a couple people, you're halfway through all the options.

I always had some cooking.

You had a little— She was Miss Jo Burns.

I don't know if you've heard that.

I don't doubt she— I don't doubt I don't doubt she was able to get boys' attention, but there's just so few.

There's so few. And you go to church with them and you go to school with them and all that, and they end up kind of like your brothers, really.

Right, right, right, right.

I stayed close to all of them. But yeah, I flirted. I messed with a lot of people's heads.

Uh-huh.

I thought I was like Erica Kane in this little town.

You were too big for that little town.

I felt like that.

Yeah. Would you go to the mall in another town to, like, kiss boys?

Yes, Dax. We would all drive to Springfield and ride around the McDonald's and then park in the Kroger parking lot and flirt. And that's where I met my high school boyfriend that I think in the country, a lot of people like, you just latch onto somebody and you think, well, I'm gonna marry them and I'm gonna raise tobacco and I'm gonna can my own food. And I thought that with my high school boyfriend. And then he was 2 years older than me and I followed him to the University of Tennessee, who then quickly broke up with me because I was a big nag, 'cause he was drinking and singing Super Freak at a fraternity house.

Ah!

You know, Rick James. And I was coming off of Methodist Youth Fellowship.

Oh, man.

So I really ruined his time at the University of Tennessee. So then he broke up with me, but, you know, chased me after.

Okay, sure. As they do. As they do. And you met a boy at 21, or probably before, but you met a boy and got married when you were 21.

I got married at 21, y'all. And I think, honest to goodness, you could have been a therapist. I think I could have been too.

We could maybe therapize each other.

Some people have that thing, and I can tell you've got that thing. And you probably do too, baby.

Thank you.

I was at the University of Tennessee. That high school boyfriend, he was kind of my like, I don't know if I'm even going to graduate. I'm probably going to marry him. I don't need all this. But always in the back of my mind thinking, I'm going to Hollywood.

Yeah.

But isn't that crazy? I didn't know how. It didn't even dawn on me stand-up. I love stand-up. But anyway, I think that I was flailing so bad at the University of Tennessee.

And away from home.

I was away from home.

Knoxville's a minute from there. Yeah.

Yeah, it was like, you know, 3 and a half hours. And I shouldn't have gone to a big university like that. I just chased my high school boyfriend. I should have gone somewhere smaller. But anyway, I went to that. I was flailing. And yeah, this guy who was 27—

Oh, wow.

Beautiful, smart, charismatic, built like a wide receiver in the NFL.

Is he single now?

Well, he—

I don't think you want him.

Okay.

He is no longer with us.

Oh, okay.

But it was not a good relationship. It was abusive. And he was mentally ill. You know, and back then, nobody talked about it. Yeah.

Right.

And you didn't know, you just thought it was mean. But he had a lot of problems, and he couldn't help it. Now I look back and I think— but yeah, he swept me off my feet.

Love bombed.

Uh-huh.

And then would say terrible things to me.

Here's my guess. He's older, you're younger. He's now living in this crazy fear that you're gonna be too shiny, so he's gotta shit on you so you don't feel confident enough to leave him. Was that the cycle?

Yeah.

Yeah, like, I gotta reduce you so you don't get any funny ideas about trying to do better than me. Yeah.

It's a common pattern, unfortunately.

And he would say things like— and I believed everything he said except this one thing. He said, your accent, people think you're stupid and you need diction lessons because everybody's making fun of you. And I remember thinking, no, they're not. I mean, this is who I am. And I'm so thankful that I held on to that part of my— myself because I believed everything else he said.

Yeah.

Well, he's 6 years older. Did he have a good job and stuff?

Yeah. And he ended up, after we divorced, very, very successful and, and a beautiful family and beautiful children and all that.

It seemed like he had it all figured out.

Yeah.

Clearly when you're 21.

And I was a ding dong, y'all.

I was a young dong.

And I was just young.

Yeah.

When they're telling you all these beautiful things about you, especially if you were a big fish and then you go into this big university and you probably feel small. And then he's like, no, you're the best. Of course you're gonna be like, oh yeah, I feel special. I love it. And then—

The day you're married and you're like, so anyways, actually you're a piece of shit and you should never think about looking at another guy cuz they won't like you.

Yeah.

And isolated me from my friends and family, that kind of thing.

How did you muster the courage to get out of it? Because I imagine there's a lot of embarrassment over having to get divorced, especially where you're from and being religious.

Yeah, I had so much shame. But y'all, I was walking on eggshells every day. I wanted babies. He would say, there's no way. I mean, if you get pregnant, I'll do— you know.

Oh my God.

I mean, yeah. So, all these things happened. And then, I was sitting in a restaurant with him. It was Christmas, and he was just angry for no reason. It made no sense whatsoever. And we had ordered a Diet Coke or tea or something, And then he got mad at me and left me there. And this was before people had cell phones.

Yeah. On Christmas Eve, did you say?

It was right before Christmas. He was probably mad about Christmas, I guess.

I don't even know.

Sure, how could he not be?

That's understandable. Christmas is very maddening.

Everyone's pissed off at Christmas.

And I promise y'all, God sent this waitress. I'm not kidding. It was a moment, a defining moment for me. He left me. I had no money, nothing. I guess I could have called somebody from the restaurant. I guess that's what I did. I can't remember that part. And I said, I don't have any money, and he's gone. And she said something like, I understand, honey. Don't worry about it. And in her face, I could tell she's been through this. She knows exactly. She looked like she'd had a hard life. And I swear, I feel like God sent her to say, it's enough. This is enough. You don't have to do this anymore.

Yes.

And I feel like God shut that door. And I was out. I left in the middle of the night. when he was gone, and I went to an address at a friend's house where he wouldn't find me, even though I look back now and I don't think he would've come and done anything to me. I was just scared at the time 'cause he was volatile. And then I never looked back. I mean, I never looked back.

Did he try to win you back over? 'Cause my imagination is he, you know, this guy got a younger girl, he's gonna be able to control everything. And now he loses complete control. That has to be—

Yeah, he cried and begged me to come back and all that. And oh, y'all, I've never been more sure of anything in my life.

Thank God.

I felt horrible for him and all that, but I thought, this isn't my burden to carry. I can't— I got to get out of this. Because I wanted children and I wanted a good life. I mean, I couldn't live in that. Even though, you know, I was raised in a Christian home and all that, you don't want to get divorced. I just thought, no, God doesn't want me in this. I just knew he didn't.

Yeah.

And my parents were behind me. Nobody made me do it.

They probably were a little nervous about the wedding to begin with.

Oh, they were. And I've often thought with my children, if I ever felt like they're making a mistake, I'm gonna say something. 'Cause I think my little mom and daddy, that generation, you know, I was riding bicycles for 20 miles, nobody knew where I was. You know, they just didn't helicopter. And I think they thought, that's her decision. But anybody around me, if they'd have said, you don't have to do this.

Maybe even if you were still in your hometown with your closest friends, group of friends, some of those girlfriends were like, uh-uh. But you probably— I don't know how many people you knew at University of Tennessee.

I knew a lot of people, but once I was with him and living with him, we were isolated.

Yeah. So you found your way back to university though? Yeah, after the divorce.

I decided to go back to school because, y'all, I was working behind a— behind the clinic counter in the department store and thought of myself as a makeup artist.

Oh, sure.

And they And they said, we want you to run a counter. My heart was beating out of my body. She was giving me the note where my salary was gonna be, plus commission. And it was so low. Even then, oh. I thought, this is poverty level. And I thought, I need to go back to school. And I called my precious daddy, who's 86 now, and I said, Daddy, if I go back to school, I'll be— now, this is how young and stupid I was. I go, I'll be 26 when I graduate. He said, you're gonna be 26 anyway. You might as well get an education.

Yeah.

So my parents helped me, and I paid for my apartment. And I mean, I had nothing. I walked out of that with nothing. And we were young, didn't have anything.

What did you major in there?

I ended up going back and majoring in child and family studies, crisis intervention counseling.

Oh, really?

'Cause I wanted to be a therapist if I didn't make it in Hollywood. But at that point, I wanted to get that degree, and Hollywood was in the back of my mind. You know, I wasn't even thinking about that. I was just trying to survive things.

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Grady's.

Grady's. Grady's. What, as a waitress?

Uh-huh.

And then this is where you met your husband?

That's where Chuck Morgan came in.

Okay, so tell me about that day. Was he a regular or was he blowing through?

He had come back to go to school to get an MBA. So I was a little bit older than him finishing that undergraduate. You know, it took me like 9 years on and off to get that thing.

Yeah.

Anyway, he came through to work. to train, and he was in the training group at Grady's. And Grady's was kind of the snotty place to work. Like, everybody wanted to work there 'cause you could make a lot of money on ballgame Saturdays, University of Tennessee, at the stadium, to wait all day. You made a lot of money.

Yeah, yeah.

So, everybody wanted to work there, and he was in a training group. He's 6'4. I just looked at him and I said, boy, you're tall as a tree. And he said, sorry. And I thought, who's that butthole coming to work at Grady's? But honest to goodness, I didn't want to date. I'd gone through that. I was in therapy. I was messed up from all that. I cut my hair off.

You're not a ding-dong. Therapy at that time, that's like big.

Thank you. I've always loved therapy.

The best.

So Chuck Morgan, I think, fell in love with me that minute that he was, you know, oh, sorry. I think he fell in love with me. I didn't know it. He doesn't talk. So then—

How would you?

For weeks, I mean, he'd just be lurking around staring at me. So then he started wooing me, and I was like, like, thank you, but I've gone through a divorce. I was the only one there, you know, 23 years old, divorced. Yeah, I'm sure people whispered behind my back, she's a divorcee, you know, divorcee, she's 23. All the boys tried to date me because I think they thought, she's divorced, you know. And I was like—

She knows it all.

And I was bitter and angry, but I loved everybody I worked with. It was a great place to work. It was like its own fraternity and sorority. Like, everywhere I go now with I'm touring, people go, I worked at Grady's. I'm like, what? Everybody came through there.

Do you ever eat at Grady's? Is it still around?

No, they got bought by a big chain, and then it kind of got ruined because it was fabulous before that. It was a fern kind of restaurant bar kind of thing, but really good food, really good customer service. And I feel like a wonderful training ground to even do what I'm doing now, to be with people, is waiting tables.

No, you have a new set every time someone sits down.

Well, and my managers would be going— 'cause you're supposed to put a tea down, get their order, go and put their drink order down within 45 seconds. And see, I'd be sitting there going, I'm from Adams, 500 people, home of the Bell Witch. You ever heard of the Bell Witch? Andrew Jackson went. It's part of Tennessee history.

You know, and they'd be going, what are you saying?

But I made good tips.

Yes.

Less tables. Chuck Morgan waited on more tables, made less tips. 'Cause he would say, my name is Chuck, it's salmon black bean soup.

Oh no.

I would go, where y'all from?

Yeah.

Oh, you are so pretty.

Why did Chuck think the customer service industry was the right fit for him? He just knew the tips were there.

Yeah, I wanted the money.

Yeah, he wanted to make money.

But y'all, he would get waiter of the year every time.

Oh, 'cause he did all the side work and everything.

He did the sidewalk, the roll-ups.

Yeah. Yeah, no roll-up toilets.

He did anything. Chuck Morgan's the kind of person, everywhere he goes, He gets promoted because they're like, oh, he takes care of stuff. Chuck Morgan takes care of stuff.

Now we love that.

That's his slogan.

Yeah, he might not talk, but he does take care of stuff.

But he's a problem solver and a worker, and he's going to take care of things.

Okay, so how long did it take him to woo you? I mean, you have the best joke in your first Netflix stand-up special, which is like he bought you flowers. He did every— what's all the things he did? Tell them.

Oh, Lord, y'all. He did all my side work.

Oh, that's enough. He would clean my ketchup.

He would clean the women's bathroom, which, you know, looks like Vietnam.

Yeah.

And he would go and clean up before I ever said a word, like I didn't ask him to. And there was many a time where I would say, you're so sweet, and this is so sweet, but I'm damaged, and I gotta heal. I'm not ready for something. And he just— honey, he's a mobile home salesman. He doesn't take no for an answer. And he just wouldn't take no for an answer. He would come to my apartment, knock on the door, bring me stuff.

Were you a little nervous though? Because this sounds a tiny, tiny bit love-bomb-y as well.

I disagree.

Well, it's not, but it could— if you had just gotten out of a relationship where it started like that, I could imagine being like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You would think. But that first one was more of like words of affirmation, which is my love language.

Bullshit.

Car salesmen.

Oh, not like doing for me.

Yeah.

I got more of this.

Acts of service.

Acts of service.

That's right. Right. It's not love bombing to me because he doesn't have the toolkit to be a love bomber. He's not like wildly charismatic. He can't fuck you up with his charm.

Yeah, it's not like he was steady.

Yeah, he wooed me, but he's not a, you know, Chuck is more of like, I'll take care of you and you can have as many babies as you want to and nobody's ever going to hurt you and all that kind of thing. And see, I didn't have that.

And I changed your oil. You didn't know, but it was 3,000 miles and I changed Yeah. And your gas tank's full, and I rotated your tires.

This is a dream.

Yeah.

If you're big enough to accept that, because I gotta say, a lot of people need something flashier in their whole life. They can't figure out why they don't have a good— you know, I think it takes your own kind of resolve too, to be like, okay, yeah, I'm not going flashy, I'm going substantive, like real. Especially when you're young.

Yeah. Especially when somebody told you you couldn't have children and all that. That's all I ever wanted. Besides Hollywood, I mean, Hollywood was always this up here, but I wanted to be a mama more than anything.

But your joke in the special is what now, after 30 years?

He would not pull me out of a burning building.

Yeah, this is what happens.

I'm watching your special and I'm like, wow, man. Yeah, I'm at an age and I've been with someone for almost 20 years. This stuff makes so much sense to me, you know? If I were younger, I just imagine my 21-year-old self watching me like, I don't relate to it. And I'm watching, I'm like, oh, I'm so in this demo. This is all the truth. This is all so funny.

Oh, well, thank you for saying that, my darling.

But why it's so good is there's, like, so much truth baked into it that is kind of universal shit. Like, if you're with somebody for decades, there's just some very predictable stuff we're all experiencing.

Yes. And Chuck Morgan's MO is come home, he's talked all day at work, doesn't want to talk. I have no idea what's happened, and I like to know.

Yeah.

And then I'll say, what do you want to drink with your supper? And he doesn't even answer me. Then I'm, you know, uh.

Yeah.

And then we get in the bed, and then he grabs my breasts. And then I'm like, I'm sorry, who are you? I don't know you. You have not spoken to me. So, yeah, that's our MO, is that Chuck, it's hard for him to—

Open up.

Yeah. And to know that I need to be—

Sure.

Spoken to. Spoken to.

Acknowledged.

Which is great material.

Yeah.

I say this on stage, like I say, Chuck loves me and wants to be with me, just don't want to speak to me. Men lose their mind. Yeah, yeah, because they all— I guess that's what, you know, men get older and don't want to talk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so you get your girlfriends and you talk to your friends.

Well, I'll tell you why. I mean, I can answer this riddle. It's like you learn more and more every time you speak. There's issues and you go, oh, I got the solution, I'm just gonna shut the fuck up for the rest of my life. Especially like, I live in a house with 3 And I'll just say something innocuous, and then I don't know who's on their period and who's not. And then all of a sudden there's a thing going, and then I just go like, it'd be better I'll just answer when spoken to.

I don't think what you're saying is innocuous. You think it's innocuous.

The thing I'm saying— wait, wait, back up. I don't understand.

You said you say something innocuous and it sparks something.

Oh, no. Yeah, it's not innocuous to say, like, does anyone want to go up to Cafe 101? And then now one's like, we always eat there. No, she gets her way, then blah, blah, blah. Then it's a fucking tornado. And I go, great. Tomorrow, I'm not gonna suggest going to Café 101. I'll wait till everyone tells me where they wanna go, and I'll drive everyone there. You know, you kind of slowly learn it. It's a path of least resistance.

My oldest child is a boy who's from heaven. And I've got 2 girls who are also from heaven. But when everybody started fighting, and there was a lot of fighting, and everybody's starfishing somebody in the back, you know, all that, he would just He would just slowly walk out the door and go get a BB gun and shoot at a tree or something, or do woodworking or start whittling.

Your son, right?

Yeah, because he doesn't like conflict. Yeah. And he said these girls, you know, when Chuck Morgan said something, they'd rah at their daddy and he'd go, let it go, let it roll off your back. But he would just take out the door. He's a hunter and a fisherman, outdoorsman. So he'd just go outside and just avoid the whole thing.

Once Chuck woos you, you get married, you have your degree, You kind of settle into a domestic life.

Yes. I'm breastfeeding.

You're breastfeeding.

Congrats.

Thank you. Precious and sweet. My girls weaned themselves, and my boy would've still been nursing.

Sure, sure.

Until he met his wife.

Yeah.

And Chuck Morgan was working. He, after he graduated from MBA school, bought a used mobile home business that refurbished mobile homes. Never walked in a mobile home in his life. We bought that. 'Cause this was the first George, the big Bush, not George, but the day of the first Iraq thing. So like jobs when he was interviewing. This is '91. Yeah. You know, there weren't great jobs out there. So he bought this business, moved us to the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains in Bean Station, Tennessee.

Okay.

Wow. And then I got pregnant with Maggie close after. You know, they're like 2 years apart, all of them. But I wanted a little money. My mama's always had a business. I feel like I'm an entrepreneur also. I wanted to be home with those babies and nurse, but I also wanted to get my hair highlighted, buy the baby an outfit, do— have my own thing. I started selling jewelry at home parties. I don't even care about jewelry, but one of my friends said, I'm doing this, and you can work at night, have a good time, eat some dip and a brownie, shoot the, you know, the crap, and then make a little money. So I started doing that.

Yeah, door-to-door jewelry sales.

Yeah.

Somebody'd have a party, and I would go and lay out all the jewelry, jewelry, but I was doing stand-up.

You were figuring that out.

I was figuring that out. Some of my first material.

It's another set, right? You walk into this house, they're all strangers, you got to win them over. It's just like doing 15 somewhere, right?

Yes. I'd never been to a comedy club until Chuck Morgan took me to go see my sister. She was living out in Huntington Beach. She was working for an office furniture company and young, in her 20s. And so we came out here and I said, I would like to go on the hearse tour where you ride in a hearse and see who's been murdered in Hollywood.

Okay.

And I loved it. I like Old Hollywood. I like Old Hollywood facts. Well, like Fatty Arbuckle.

Do you know how close we are to the Black Dahlia House? Do you know we're like 15 houses down?

No. Yeah.

Yeah, it's right there. The Hodel House.

Oh my Lord.

Yeah.

And it delivers. Frank Lloyd Wright's son made it. So it's like this crazy look in my pressed concrete construction house.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love all of that kind of stuff.

We'll knock on the door. Um, can we take a peek at those bodies, please? And you got any of them around still?

I mean, that's a fascinating one.

It's the darkest story I've ever consumed in my life. I don't know if you listened to that podcast about it.

No!

The Black Dahlia murder was the least of that man's activities. Hodel. Do you know the story of him?

No!

He was a doctor, and he was basically the only doctor that was doing venereal disease work In, I guess, the '20s or '30s here in LA. And because of that position, he knew everyone in power. Like, anyone that had a hush-hush venereal situation came to Hodel. And he was hanging out with Aleister Crowley and all those weirdos in that scene. And he was super into surrealists, and he was obsessed with surrealist artists, and he wanted to be a surrealist, but he wasn't. In the Black Dahlia murder, he repositioned this woman he killed And it's right out of a painting of a surrealist he was obsessed with. He was trying to impress the other surrealists, but he was hosting orgies at his house. And the other part I don't even want to get into, but it involves his children. And there's like generations of people that are fucked up from that guy. I'm just a monster. All happening 14 doors down here 80 years ago.

And surrealist, you mean like Salvador Dalí?

Exactly.

Well, I've got to know all about this, y'all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a really horrific podcast. It's the darkest we've ever listened to. But it is phenomenal.

It's really good.

Yeah, yeah. I'll find the name of it and give it to you. Boy, that was a tangent. Oh, so you come to Huntington Beach, and he's like—

Well, I come to that, and I go, I wanna go on the Hearst tour. And of course, Chuck said, this is twisted. And then he took me— I said, I wanna go to The Comedy Store.

Yes!

And I went to The Comedy Store, and that's the first time I saw stand-up live. And it set me on fire. My heart beat out of my body, and I thought, I can do it. I know I can do this. Then we got married. Then go to Bean Station. We go in the middle of nowhere, Bean Station, Tennessee. Then I start selling jewelry. But the whole time thinking— by then, I had the idea I can do stand-up. I don't know when, I don't know how, I don't know where, but I'm gonna do it. Wow.

Can I guess the trip to The Comedy Store, the moment was— up till then, you had only seen polished perform— you'd seen probably Richard Pryor live on Sunset Strip.

Richard Lewis, all these people, Johnny Cash.

One hour completely well-refined, fully finished products. But you go there and you're like, oh, you see a guy with a piece of paper, he's trying out a new joke. You go, oh, I don't have to start at Richard Pryor level. There's intermediate steps between that thing I've seen and this.

Dom Herrera. There was all these unbelievable people I got to see that night. And I did, I thought, okay, that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I know I can do it.

So once you get back and you're selling the jewelry and you're kind of working out some bits and you're maybe gonna have some material, when's the first time you go on a stage and do like an open mic night, I guess?

No, because I'm in Morristown, Tennessee. We then moved to Morristown where Chuck was raised. It was right up near Bean Station. Bean Station is very rural. And then Morristown has got hospitals and a country club.

Oh, right.

So we are in church. We've got this really nice Sunday school class. It's all of our friends and everybody's social and has got their little babies together and everybody goes to everybody's birthday parties. Well, a guy in that Sunday school class said, I'm in the Kiwanis Club. We need somebody to emcee the Kiwanis Capers, Lynn, like a local thing. So I did that, thought, this is my debut.

And you were probably the best thing they'd ever seen. Did you kill that?

Well, I thought I did.

I bet you crushed it.

I felt pretty good.

Yeah.

Then there was a man in the audience who came up to me and said, I own a sandwich shop. It has a stage. I have bands. Would you want to do stand-up? And I went, yeah. And he goes, okay, here's an hour.

An hour?

The first time I ever did it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I know, and I had— and it was crazy. And I got so scared that I went to an ENT that day thinking that I had a tumor. I could not move my neck. I was that— I'm not kidding. I said, something's wrong with me. And he goes, I don't see anything wrong with you. And I go, well, I'm doing this tonight. And he goes, I think you're just scared. So then I had a— to prepare for it, I had, you know, when your baby goes to kindergarten—

Did you memorize the thing? No.

No. I had a kindergarten tablet where my boy, you know, was in preschool and, you know, would do his letters. So I got that pad and wrote down points, like just words of stories I knew I could tell that I had been telling, you know, with girlfriends, before exercise, or whatever. And so, what I knew I thought would work. And then, I had a— it was like a sheet music thing. on this stage, and Chuck had the babies. By then, there were 3 babies, all under the age of 5, probably. And he was in our minivan, and people said they could see him, 'cause it was a big glass thing behind me, driving back and forth with these babies to make sure I was okay. And there was about 50 people, and it sold out just 'cause there's nothing else to do there. A man did film it that night, and I wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning thinking, where's that film?

Yeah.

'Cause I'm sure it's up. It's no telling what I said, y'all. It's no telling what I said.

Yeah, you had an hour to fill. For people who don't know, like, people work on an hour-long act for 6 months. They're trying out new jokes.

Right. And Lord, back then, 10 years took you to get 45 minutes.

Yes, exactly.

So it didn't do anything. But yeah, so then he said, well, this has worked out great. You want to do this every month or every 2 weeks or whatever? So I started doing that at this little sandwich shop.

Always an hour?

Yeah. Wow.

Wow.

And throwing stuff in, throwing it out. I don't even know what I said, y'all. People around town would say, can you do a program at the Rotary? We'll pay you $50. I'd drop the baby off at preschool and go do that. So I did all those kind of things anybody would let me do. Then Chuck Morgan sold that business and went to work for a large mobile home company, Berkshire Hathaway Company, Warren Buffett, and then moved us to San Antonio. And that's where I had a club for the first time. I did open mic one time, thought I was gonna vomit.

Isn't that funny? 'Cause you'd already been doing this hour-long show. I'd already been doing—

yeah. And I was like, oh no. 'Cause to me, comedy club was the real deal.

It's the power of framing in your head. It's like, that thing's that, so I don't care. This thing is terrifying, now I care. And you're doing the exact same thing at both places.

Yeah.

But I always forget this. When the baby was 18 months old, I did call Zanies in Nashville, a cold call, and said, can I come and do— I didn't even know what an opener was. before San Antonio, I called and said, can I just come? And he goes, yeah. And it's Brian Dorfman, who's now my concert promoter, who's my dear friend. And I didn't even know you do drink specials and stuff. I did whatever they told me. Billy Gardell was the headliner for Mike and Molly.

Oh!

And was precious. And then Brian Dorfman got me in the office and said, I think you've got something, Lynn. I really do. But he said, you've got 3 babies. There's no way you can do this. You can't do comedy clubs and raise those children. He said, Roseanne, would have them in a station wagon in the parking lot. You know what I'm saying? It's just too hard.

And then to build the career, you gotta be out on the road.

Yeah. I was mad that he said it, but he was right. But anyway, he encouraged me. Then I go to San Antonio, and that's where I've got Austin. I drive to Austin. They've got one of the best comedy clubs, Cap City Comedy Club. Rich Miller owns it, who's Dennis Miller's brother and Jimmy Miller's brother. Then I felt like I was in the game. I was in the game, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Comedy Central was coming through there, and Montreal, Aspen, I never got anything. They never wanted me. But I was a young mom talking about somebody doo-dooing on the T-ball field, had on a kitten heel.

It's all young people.

Everybody was edgy.

Yeah.

You know, Sarah Silverman was big. They didn't want me.

Yeah.

But it turned out okay.

Yeah. So the pilot deals. When did those come along? What ages were you when, like, networks—

Oh, Charlie was— my boy was in 6th grade when I got the first one. That was with ABC and Warner Brothers. Tom Warner.

Tom Warner, love him.

Loved him.

Yeah, what a sweetheart.

And I thought, oh, this is it.

He'd done Roseanne. He did 3rd Rock.

All that. I mean, crazy. And I loved everybody on the whole thing, my writer, everything. Writer's strike hit.

Oh.

And now, I don't know if it would've made it. I always act like, Oh, I think it would've made it if the— but you know how those things are. But I got money for that deal. I'd never had that before.

Amazing.

The deals after that, I never got another dime. But I thought, this is my big thing. And then the writers' strike hit, and it was over in a second.

Oof, it's a brutal thing.

And then reality television, you know, was big. But I remember being so depressed. Like, I really went through, I think, a clinical depression over it, 'cause it was so big. and then it was over in seconds. But I was always doing those Dubuque, Iowa things and all these little corporate things and clubs. So many clubs, like 5 clubs would book me 2 times a year.

If I can be super nosy, like, what are you cobbling together at the end of the year from all these gigs? What do you think you're making over these years?

Oh Lord, y'all, nothing.

Like $30 grand a year?

Yeah, maybe, maybe $30,000 to $50,000 or something.

Yeah, yeah.

For 20 years, I would get $2,500. Plus travel. Sometimes pay your travel out of it. But I was your $2,500 girl. And I would think, if I could just get to $5,000, this would change my— and I got it a couple of times and thought, woo! And all my friends around me and comics around me were getting, you know, $7,000, $7,500, $10,000, and they were working a lot of clubs.

Yeah.

But I worked clubs for like $1,500 for the week. Take your travel out of it. But they would provide a hotel. But anyway, then I did a Dry Bar comedy special. And at the time, the manager I had at the time said, I don't know what this is, Leanne, but you might as well do it. You don't have anything else going on, basically.

And it was like a clean— the premise of Dry Bar was like, it's a clean comedy.

On the internet.

I was like, Dry Bar, the hair thing?

I do love a dry bar. Yeah, sure, sure. But no, this was the comedy. And they were very successful and did all these little like 30-minute specials. I think mine was 45. And I had not worked I was not on my game. I didn't feel like I did a bunch of old material because I didn't know— I just didn't even know. They filmed it. We didn't think anybody's ever gonna see it. There's one clip that got 55 million views.

Whoa!

But I could not sell tickets. I was getting gigs, but they weren't good gigs. They weren't what I wanted. And I was working like a mule. And it was like $2,500, and we won't pay your travel out of it. You're staying on a motel on the side of the road where you could be raped and murdered. and murdered? And then, are your Uber drivers high on marijuana? You know, it was all they asked. And I thought, I'm 50, 51. I cannot be doing this.

Neil Brennan told me all those rooms were painted kill yourself brown. Somehow all the hotels on the road tour were all painted kill yourself brown.

Uh-huh. I love my Neil Brennan. Okay. And then that's when I went to dinner with Chuck Morgan. I started crying. And that's the first time In 20-something years, I thought, I don't think anything's gonna happen. 'Cause I had had so much hope. Even when I was raising these precious children in Knoxville, Tennessee, I never felt like one of the cool kids, or I was in the game. Comedy Central didn't want me, all that. But I'd get a television deal again. I'd get with TV Land, Nick at Nite, and then Sony, and then all that. So it would give me enough to keep going.

Yeah.

But I just thought, nothing is happening. This is bad.

Would I be right to guess you're running out of money? people to look to. Like, I was just talking to someone about this the other day. For so many years, the thing you are told is like, well, Ray Kroc didn't invent McDonald's until he was 52. And then, you know, maybe this actor didn't pop— Rodney Dangerfield. There's a handful that didn't pop. But then when you start getting to be that age or beyond it, and you're like, well, I no longer have an example of someone older than me that still hit.

I just thought, I don't want to be in my 50s in some pitiful hotel, feeling like I'm not safe, looking like a loser. I thought, I just can't keep doing this. And I knew that Charlie got married right out of college. They waited 5 years to have my first grandbaby, but I thought, I know I'm gonna be a grandmama.

Yeah.

And I'm from the country. Grandmamas tend to their grandbabies and all that. I thought, maybe that's what God's wanting me to do. And then I said to Chuck, nothing's happening. Maybe I should open up— I always thought it would be nice to have a hardware store. 'Cause I thought, I can sell canned goods and—

Talk to customers.

Yeah, I can dazzle. Or pop popcorn at the NASCAR track or at Ace Hardware. And he said, that's crazy, Linnéa, no. And then, this is one thing that I'll pat myself on the back for, 'cause I never invested in myself, and I really wasn't a good businessperson when it came to this whole comedy business. I mean, I could build relationships. I'm easy to be around. I don't suck the life out of a room. I know that kind of stuff. But 2 headshots, I wasn't doing like I— So then I thought, what's Jim Gaffigan doing? Nate Bargatze was just starting to pop. And I thought, what is he doing? 'Cause I'm about a year and a half behind him. And I thought, he's selling out clubs. He's starting to go into small theaters, and I wanna be in small theaters. And I thought, they've got social media people. That's the difference. And I knew that television— nobody's watching local news. I knew nobody was looking at a newspaper. Everybody's quitting.

Yeah.

And I thought, how does anybody know how to find anybody if I don't have a Comedy Central half hour, if I don't have all that? And so I thought, So I thought, I'm gonna hire social media people. And I think that I was one of the first. They had social media people, but I think I got on that train early, early enough before social media really took off and before COVID And I hired these young guys. It was a fluke that we found them, and they knew my voice. They got a mom that's just like me.

Where were they out of, Knoxville?

Plano, Texas.

Plano, Texas.

Wow. I didn't have an agent. I had a manager. But this person said, these guys kind of know what they're doing.

Yeah.

They'd had one comedian. They were doing marketing for, like, local mom-and-pop stores. And so I was the second comedian they took. They put out one video. I think it's one video. It might have been the second one. I wish I'd journaled all this.

You talking about Def Leppard? Taking Chuck Morgan to Def Leppard?

To Def Leppard and Journey. And everybody looked sick and had plantar fasciitis.

Oh!

And nobody could stand up. Yep, yep, yep. And everybody looked sick in the band. And people— must have resonated with fans.

Yes.

Because, you know, you go to these concerts now, you see Foghat.

I don't even want to say his name because he's a beloved legend, especially in the South. But my best friend Aaron, who's in town, he just the other night went and saw a concert in Detroit. And he said, he said, I was on a chair and he was asleep for a good chunk of the show. And many times I was like, oh my Lord, are we seeing the passing of said legend? It can get a little sad, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah. And y'all, I was on a plane with a darn that was sound asleep, wadded up in his seat, tatted up, with long hair, looked like a rocker. We were landing, and the attendant said something to me. He woke up and he goes, are you that comedian that talks about Def Leppard and Journey? And I went, yeah. And he had little legs and rocker. And he goes, oh my gosh, that is so funny, and that's so accurate. He goes, get a load of what I do. He travels with AC/DC, Aerosmith, Oh, who all did it? Rolling Stones. And he looks like he can play every instrument. His job is to fill in. Nobody knows who he is, but he fills in—

All the gaps.

For all that. And he said, I was just with AC/DC last night. I thought somebody was having a stroke. He said, Hank looked blank—

Totally.

And then started playing again. And he goes, it scared me to death. But he goes, that is so true. But look at them out there doing that at their age. God love 'em. But anyway, that resonated with people. And people started then saying, well, what else does she have? They saw that and liked that. And it was like somebody turned a light on in a dark room. I'm not kidding.

Wow.

I could not sell tickets. Nobody cared. And within weeks, selling out all over the United States.

That's incredible.

Wow.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.

If you dare.

I'm sorry, I'm still giggling thinking about these musicians simply because in, in Rest in Peace, I loved him. I got to be around him a bit through sobriety. Ozzy Osbourne, right? And he was playing this benefit to raise money for this treatment center. It's great, great cause. And I was the one hosting him, and then I kind of hung on the stage and there was a monitor in front of microphone. from is karaoke, you know, it's the lyrics. And I certainly expected he didn't know some of them, but you know, it was Iron Man, and I noticed he was dialed into the monitor at the I am Iron Man part.

Yeah, age will get all of us, you know, if we're lucky.

If we're lucky.

You know how with the many things he consumes.

Well, that's the other thing.

Yeah, we did have someone on recently who, um, you just— I know, I'm gonna be careful, but it was just like, whoa, Yeah, you lived a very hard life.

The bill comes due.

And yeah, that's true. It shows. Eventually it shows.

Well, and I've eaten a lot of white flour, y'all. I've eaten a lot of white flour and sugar because I wasn't out in this Hollywood thing, which is also freeing because, like, little Kristen's body, when I saw her at then, I thought, no wonder she's a star. Look at her little fanny. And then, you know, but I made it later. where I can still eat pork sausage. Yeah, I don't have that. I feel like in my mind I'm 19 and I'm like an it girl. No, I'm not. But you know, that's okay. But you know, angel from heaven.

No, you are.

It's all perspective though, right? You could feel completely liberated. Like, how rad that the angle I came in at doesn't require me to do all that shit and I can still eat pork sausage.

Lucky.

If I'd have made it when I thought I was going to make it, y'all, one, I think it's no telling what would have happened to me.

You wouldn't have had Egg McMuffin in decades.

I wouldn't have had a muffin. I wonder, because now that I've been out here and the pressure you feel, like when you're on a television set, which I've got a wonderful crew, but I feel like sometimes they're looking at me like, you're a star. And then the next minute looking at like, you suck. And I think if I'd have been 20 and I'd felt that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's—

It's a tough place to be.

It's the ultimate make yourself conscious career.

And city. I mean, this city is just full of people trying to do the same thing. So it's a constant comparison. It's tough out here.

Yeah, and I'm kind of in a lane by myself, and so I can still eat—

Yeah, yeah, as you should.

Pork sausage and a biscuit.

And you should. Exactly right.

But then I think, am I going to get dementia because I've eaten too much white flour?

But—

Well, that's, you know—

But I'm trying to take fish oil.

Okay, I know. I love your supplements. Yeah, you love your magnesium.

I do love a magnesium dex.

You know what I'm saying?

You know a lot about me. I'm precious, you darling.

I try to.

You angel. Now I'm loving your hairline. Aren't you thankful? Because all these boys out here have to go to Turkey.

Well, and if you— by the way, I have said many times, I think I'm going to book one of those flights just to observe it. Have you seen the flights?

Yes.

Where 70% of the guys have tons of bandages on their head. They're all bleeding. They're taking their meds.

Yeah.

I know when I see somebody with a head of hair, I think you need to thank the Lord for I'm fucking drops 3 times a day.

It fucks up my hair. It's good. Like, I am adding so many drops to my hair to keep it—

to keep it.

Yeah, because we were on vacation like 3 summers ago. My daughters took a picture of me and we're looking at it and they go, Dad, what's happened to your hair? And all of a sudden I saw it for the first time. Oh my goodness, I think I've lost like 40% of it in the last 4 months.

Chuck took Propecia for a while and I was like, you didn't even tell me that. And I could have touched that. What if I got pregnant? Because I get pregnant so easy. Not now because I'm 60. But I could have back then. I could look at him and get pregnant. But I'm like, you didn't tell me that was propitia. 'Cause it would be on the table and I'd be like, I could have touched that, Chuck. He doesn't tell me anything.

Yeah, well, we've established he doesn't know how to.

He does not tell me anything. But he grew one little thing of hair. In my first Netflix special, I talk about we went snorkeling in Maui, and that one thing of hair was in that video. I need to find that VHS tape.

Oh my gosh.

And then I think he just finally said to his hairdresser, just cut, just cut.

Yeah, let's stop.

And then he had the whole Justin Bieber thing.

Oh.

I mean, yeah, Justin Bieber, Justin Timberlake, that.

Okay.

And now he doesn't care.

Oh yeah.

Okay, so in rapid succession, you have a Netflix special that's enormous. That's in the top 10 of all their comedy specials. And then is the movie with Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon next?

I think that was next.

Did you have any fear about acting?

Scared? out of my mind.

Yeah.

And little Reese Witherspoon had done that for me. I met her in Nashville right after my mom had had a stroke, and we were at an after-CMAs party, which nobody knew who I was. The video had come out, but nobody knew. And somebody snuck me in, and I was like staring at Reba McEntire. And she said to me, who are you? And she was darling, but she was like, who are you? And I go, nobody. And so little Reese Witherspoon, I just looked at her and I go, my mom had a stroke. And she held my hand. And anyway, She had started following me. I had gotten my first tour. COVID hit, ruined— I mean, didn't ruin that tour, but moved it. I thought, I'm finally gonna make it. And then now this. But it all turned out okay. Went on that tour, I was selling out. So I got that Netflix special.

She's why we saw you at the Opry. We took her tickets. She was like, hey guys, I know you're in Nashville. I have these tickets, I can't go. Do you wanna go? And that's how we went.

Oh my darling. That angel. And she really does want to see people do well. I mean, she really does. But she got me that part, and they said, you've got a table read. And I was on tour, and y'all, I didn't even know what a table read was. I called my little friend that his daddy was the dairy farmer and Methodist preacher that went to Juilliard, and I go, what's a table read? He goes, well, they want you, Lynn. They must want you, so be you. There was a lot of language in that movie, and they had a lot of language in the script, and I spell cuss words. 'Cause I'm from the South, and I just couldn't— I'm a mama and a grandmama. And it got laughs in the room. And then Nick Stoller said to me, you do what you do. 'Cause I said, a little mama in the South with 4 kids standing with her, 'cause my character had 4 kids, at a wedding would not say this, Nick. And he goes, you know better than I do, Lynn. Do you? So I did that. And I think, you know, it all turned out good, and they were all darling to me, but I was scared to death.

We interviewed Nate, yeah, and he was saying that he'd have to go in and switch out certain lines swear words for things he thought were comparable.

He was raised just like I was, probably more strict than I was. I was raised kind of Methodist, kumbaya. But yeah, I got this language thing, y'all. It was my great-grandmother.

Yeah.

You still have it.

You still don't swear?

I still have it.

Yeah.

Do you ever swear, like, with your girlfriend? You do with your girlfriends?

No.

No, you don't swear, period? It may be under my breath when I'm alone.

Okay.

S-H-I-T.

Okay.

Okay, so you do that movie. It's fun though. Is it fun?

So fun. I wish I could go back and do it again because I was so scared.

Yeah.

And now that I look at it— and they kept saying to me the whole time, you'll never have it this good again. Everybody's so fun, so sweet. And I go, what are they doing to y'all in Hollywood? Are people screaming at y'all? They go, yeah.

Also, Will's such a beautiful, benevolent man. Reese is taking care of you. Like, that is the ideal scenario.

It was darling.

And next time Precious.

He wrote the first movie I ever did. I adore Nick. Yeah, he's incredible.

Precious. And then Roy Scovel played my brother. Celia Weston played my mother.

Who I love more than anything. She was on this show, Bless This Mess, I did, and I got to tell her how much I loved her in Flirting with Disaster. I found her to be the most lovely. I wanted to bring her up when I was watching your show. I love her. What a blessing she is.

What a blessing she is.

Yeah, yeah.

Brilliant and funny.

From an interesting background too.

Uh-huh.

Hokey-dokey. Yeah, yeah.

What's that?

Real well-to-do.

Old money South.

Old money debutante. Her mother didn't want her to work because you don't do that.

Yep.

But honey, she had a dream and she was like, I'm doing it. And everybody was like, okay. But precious. And I love her on my—

Yeah.

Love her.

She plays your mom on it.

She plays my mom. And I'm so thankful she loves to work and wants to still do it. And Blake Clark plays my dad.

Yes, yes. So funny. Everyone's so funny. Okay, so how do you and Chuck Lorre end up crossing paths?

My manager sent him my special and said, just look at her and see what you think. And he said, I wanna do a sitcom with her.

Wow.

And flew to Knoxville. Warner Brothers flew him 'cause he said, I don't want her to come out here to Hollywood and think that I'm blowing smoke up her butt. 'Cause I'd had those 5 deals that didn't make it.

Yeah.

You know, and I was pretty wary after that. So he came, and we had lunch for him, and he sat and held my hand and said, Lan, I can tell you put in 10,000 hours. I can tell you're the real deal. Will you do a television show with me?

P.S., I'm the most successful comedic showrunner of all time. Would you like to do a show with me?

And Chuck Morgan watches Big Bang Theory every day.

Sure.

And has always got that running behind everything.

Yeah.

That must have been a moment for him, one of the moments of like, oh, she really does know what she's talking about. Chuck Lorre's here asking her.

New Chuck.

And Chuck Morgan was very starstruck about him. Yeah.

And Chuck's an intimidating man because he's quiet. You're not getting a comedian with Chuck. He's kind of reserved and serious, but brilliantly funny.

And he and Chuck Morgan connected because Chuck Morgan's quiet, intimidating.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so he loves Chuck. My Chuck loves Chuck. And always ask about him. And honey, when he says we're gonna do a television show, there's no red tape.

There's no pilot. There's a show.

Everything just boom, and we went, y'all. And I didn't know the lingo. I didn't know anything, but I had to learn it quick. Y'all, I thought I had some kind of gastrointestinal disease for 6 weeks. And I told my baby, 'cause my baby child was living with me where we rent a house here, and I said, pack up your stuff and let's go Let's to the hospital.

go.

This is too much, and I don't need this. I can do stand-up.

I don't—

I mean, I was so intimidated and freaked out. And I don't know if it was my age or if it's, you know, I just have never— it was a big learning curve for me, but it felt right to me.

Yeah.

I was freaked out, scared to death, but I thought, it feels right to me.

It's your voice. They got your voice. Luckily, they did it. They did the job. They knew how to encapsulate Yes.

So, you know, Hollywood's been back here this whole time, and now it's here. How do you feel?

I know that people say to me, Lynn, you can't just go into every interview and go, I don't know how this happened.

Aw, shucks. Aw, shucks.

But I— y'all—

Sometimes aw, shucks is warranted.

Yeah.

My book is called What in the World? 'Cause every day I just go, what in the world? So many wonderful things happen. But I felt this as a child. I feel like this was in my imagination. I knew this was gonna happen. I only had one in my 50s where I got scared and thought, it's not gonna happen.

Thank God for Chuck Morgan.

Thank God for Chuck Morgan saying, no, that's crazy, Lynn. You can do it. But I never knew it was gonna be this big and this wonderful.

Can you feel it?

Yes.

Okay, good.

And then doing an arena tour.

Yeah, what?

When I could not get arrested for 20 years. And that I'm in there, and when they give me the numbers from Netflix, and I don't see 'em all, But I think, I'm in there with Dave Chappelle.

Yes!

And I know Dave Chappelle. I've met him now a couple of times. I hope he remembered me. But I bet all those guys that I'm in there with are like, who is that? Who is that woman? You know, Jerry Seinfeld, I'm close to him. He gives me wonderful advice all the time. I've gotten to meet David Letterman. David Letterman said to me, how did you do this, Lynn? It's hard enough to get where you are, but with 3 babies, how did you do that? And that means a lot to me.

Yes. So I hadn't seen the show, full honesty. And then I started watching this show yesterday before I started all my research, right? So I don't even know anything about the show. I just have it in my screeners box, and I start watching with my childhood best friend who's in town right now. We're laughing up a storm. My 13-year-old's watching. She's laughing up a storm. Kristen passes through. She's like, I got to go to bed. And she sits down, and then now she's hooked, and she's like, oh my God, this is so good. I swear to God, I said out loud, I go, it's like Chuck Lorre. Very good. I'm like, every single joke. The one, one of the jokes in the new seasons. So the first episode of the second season, your father's gone missing. He's stuck at a dollar store. He can't figure out, uh, self-checkout, which I couldn't agree with him more. I'll stand in a line with 100 people at Kroger in Mount Juliet before I'll go to that fucking self-checkout. I'm like, I'm paying money. Give me a human. Anyways, your mom says maybe he was kidnapped. You're all looking for him, and then your sister goes For what?

Paint cans? And I'm like, that's such a specific old man joke. Like, every old man accumulates several thousand cans of paint.

Why are they—

why is this a thing?

We can't get rid of it. We might need to do a touch-up. We might need to do a touch-up, but we can never figure out what color goes to what can because there's so many cans and then they get rusted. I mean, everything is like, it's the 4th version of the joke, right? It's not the first joke. And it's like so fleshed out and each one is fucking a silver bullet.

I'm so glad you think that. Yeah, that means the world to me.

My ultimate compliment would be like, it feels like a Chuck Lorre show. And then lo and behold, I look and it is a Chuck Lorre show. And you're phenomenal on it. The people you're with have just done hundreds and hundreds of hours of sitcoms. And we don't know that. You an alien? Okay, alien, watch this show. Who's new to this? No fucking way they can point you out.

Oh, thank you, my darling. Well, that's a relief to hear from you. I feel like the second season I was, you know, more confident. That first season. Through the middle, I thought, okay, maybe I can do this. But I had Tim Daly. I mean, when you've got people like Kristen Johnston in there, it really helps somebody that doesn't know what they're doing. I mean, it really did help me. But I do think that's why stand-ups are good at sitcoms.

Yeah, well, you have the audience, you— and you learn real quick. They tell you how to do it really quick. Now that we've learned all this about you, how are you policing yourself? Because if I'm— I've waited 60 years to get here, and then I come to you and I go, Okay, so we can do 25 arena shows, and let me show you what the walkout of those shows is. Okay, and then you can do this sitcom, and that's— let me show you the walkout of that. How are you policing yourself to not just do everything? Because it's such a windfall. Like, is that something you struggle with or have tension around?

A little bit, my darling. Now, because this is probably 150 shows, I just started about a month and a half ago, and that'll go through 2027, and I'll Netflix, another special.

Oh, wow.

And you wrote a book.

And I wrote a book. That was a couple years ago. And then I've got a few little movie things that people have offered me. I mean, I did a Judd Apatow movie with Glen Powell. I had a small part in it.

Oh, I auditioned for that.

What part? The dean in the college.

Oh.

Yeah, I'm the old dean that flirts. I think I'm getting typecast to now be the flirty old woman.

Oh, that's a fun role.

But I like it.

I flirt.

I do love men. I've loved them all my life. And Glen Powell was darling and yummy and precious and like being with your best friend you went to high school with. And then Judd Apatow, yeah, was like Nick Stoller. Like, lean in. He goes, don't memorize that script, let's have fun. And it's so fun. And then he's got the voice of God and we're all laughing and having a ball. It was a ball. I hope I get to do more things like that.

For all the not good luck you had, you got it all now. I mean, the fact that you're working to be people you're working with is preposterous, kind of. Oh, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's why I go, what in the world, y'all?

And you got to raise your children. You really did get to do both things, which is almost impossible.

I did. And Reese Witherspoon said that to me every day, Lynn, you got to raise your own children. And I just look back, y'all, and how if I'd have had that television deal at 40, would they be the children they are today? I don't think so.

You'd have to move them all. I And then Chuck Morgan, what's he gonna do now? He has a career he's been working his ass off for. And so what's he supposed to do? Come visit you guys?

Right. And Matt Williams had my second deal that created Roseanne and Home Improvement, and he said, Lynn, don't let your family move out here. Don't let Chuck quit his job because it'll get canceled. It's not gonna even make it, probably. Which we didn't even shoot a pilot for that one. But I thought, can you imagine if I had to move away from my children so they could stay in their school? And I know Ray Romano did that for a while, but I was the mom.

Yeah.

You know, I couldn't have done that yet.

Okay. So I have had the pleasure of spending the last 2 summers, you know, we built the house in Nashville. Yes. And we've been on the lake the last 2 summers and I have loved it for numerous reasons. And I've talked about them on here a lot, but culturally it's much, much different. I would say like, I'm from Detroit. I lived in LA for 30 years. Detroit. And then now I've been in Nashville for a couple summers. summers and tons of time throughout the year. And certainly, like, I'd put Detroit in the middle of that spectrum, right? Like, I'd put Nashville on, you know, let's say the far right— that's convenient— and then California way the fuck out here, and Detroit somewhere in the middle. So I'm enjoying a lot of the things I remember about growing up in Michigan. Like, for instance, when I meet— I probably met 100 people since I lived there. I'm friends with my neighbors. When I meet people, I've never been told what someone does for a living. I hear about how many kids they have, whether are they in college or not, where they took them for spring break.

Took my kids out, you know, one's a golfer, All this stuff, it's just kids, kids, kids, and that's our life. So I love that part. Go to the Opry, go like, oh man, I get this. It's so different, and yet I completely get it. I see the value of this. And you've now spent a chunk of time in LA between doing the shows and stuff. What is it, do you think, that people don't understand about the South?

I don't think people understand that we are educated people. I've had people say Do people wear shoes? And I'm like...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? And they think that we're close-minded and that we're down on our luck. And I mean, people are down on their luck everywhere, sadly. But I don't think they realize how really, truly hip and fun and eccentric that Southern people are. And we're storytellers. And I mean, we have Elvis. You know? We have all these unbelievable artists. I mean, it's just an eclectic place that is is fascinating. I think people are fascinated by us, but we get a lot of stereotyping. But we're— I think we're fascinating. I do. And we are very family-oriented.

Yes. And do you think that people think the women are oppressed?

Yes. People from here have said things to me that are bizarre, and I think you can't help it, but you don't know. That's not what we are.

Yeah, what I observed a lot was like, Chris and I both, we were like, we come to it with— we've been given these same stereotypes. They're on TV, they're on everything else. And I go, you know, you can say whatever anyone wants to say, but people are pretty fucking happy here. And the women are fucking pretty happy here. So of all the judgment or whatever the thing is, like, what I'm observing is hard to make peace with, with this other thing I'm hearing. Like, they're happy as fuck.

Yeah, I'm from So I get it. But I also just don't think that's— it's not like they're happy. They're people. They're people who are happy and sad and working. Like, women are working there. I think women are working. That's a stereotype, maybe, that none of the women work, which isn't true at all. All of my friends work who are there, right? All the women. So is that what you mean? Maybe?

No, I think there is a sect— I'm not putting you in this thing, but I think there's a sect of liberals that think, oh, they're stay-at-home, the husband still goes to work, They raise the kids. They think they're oppressed by a traditional— Like the '50s or whatever, back in time. Yes, the traditional American structure is still very much alive there. And I think a lot of liberals think that that's oppression. And I'm there and I'm saying, well, if this is the face of oppression, then sign me up for oppression.

Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I've observed.

We're getting to do everything. I mean, we're doing everything and we're tickled and we put on a sundress to do it. I feel like I've never been been oppressed.

The other thing I love is there's this great— and it's all through your standup. And I'm like, oh yeah, this isn't unique to you. This is South. So 2 of our best friends live there, Huey and Hayes. And we get together with them and all they do is make fun of each other and bitch about each other. Like, well, he wouldn't fucking know anything about these kids because he's out and blah, blah, blah. And she's like, yeah, well, it must— you know, it's a routine and it's like the culture. And it's so amusing and funny to me. I love it. And they're all— the couples are doing that. And that I don't know, that's one unique thing I've observed. And I'm like, oh, this is so funny and it's true. And your standup's really reflective of that thing that I observe all the time when I'm down there.

And that's true. I've made fun of Chuck Morgan and I raised these children by myself, but he was making a living. But I wanted it that way. I was doing standup. I mean, I've had a good life. These children got to go to a nice school. You know, I took some tennis lessons.

I mean, you know, I had a good time. Yeah, good choices.

You made choices. And I do find out here a lot of women that go, we don't need men. I'm like, I need a man. I love men.

Uh-huh.

I love men. And I've got a son and I've got grandsons. And, you know, I just couldn't make a blanket statement that men are bad. I love men. A lot of my friends are men. I've had a ball with men. I get that out here a lot, like, we don't need men. And a lot of men on my crew have never married. And they go, I wanted to get married. And they're cute. And I go, move to Tennessee.

They're gonna line up and pray with you. You'll be married in 6 months.

You'll be married with a bunch of kids before you know it. I noticed this, that I have a neighbor who was precious that had a hernia surgery. So we made him a meal and took it over to him. And he had tears in his eyes. He said, nobody's ever made me a meal here. So I know that everybody's precious here in California, but maybe you don't know your neighbors in the city. We know our neighbors, and we do for each other.

By the way, I snapped right in there. It's like, my neighbor, I bet he must have borrowed 25 things from me in the 6 weeks I was there. He's like, I need your trailer again. I'm sorry, mine's still stuck. Great. He's like, I need to mow the grass of the house I'm selling. My mower's out. Yeah, come grab it. And then he's like, hey, you want me to go down to the dock? The dude's gonna be here. I know you're gonna be— it's like, oh, fuck, I love this. This is so awesome. And I'm built for that. I've enjoyed it so much.

Oh, my darling.

Yeah, yeah, I really, really do.

I'm so glad.

Yeah, I really—

It is sweet. It is.

And of course, now, now she's was so nifty, and a lot of LA people have moved there and New York. So you've got that— the Nordstrom. I remember when the Nordstrom had like orthopedic shoes, and all of a sudden it was like Gucci, and I thought, what's going on here?

The Californians.

All the California hoopy-doo girls moved out there.

Well, we had— it's almost fun— we had to prove immediately we weren't those Californians, because there's also any time a big influx of any people move into any place, you name it, people are like, uh-oh, what's going And things are changing. And so we're like, don't worry, we're not, we're not that. I'll be out mowing my grass. Like, we're not those folks. And they now get that. And yeah, it's dreamy.

Well, I got to tell you, I love the state of Michigan, honey. I think Michigan's one of the prettiest states.

Oh, hard to beat. You go up in the lakes up north, it's like, are you kidding me? It looks like the Caribbean, the water. And it's crazy.

Traverse City.

Yeah, Traverse City.

I did the National Cherry Festival.

Ooh.

I won this cherry seed spitting contest when I was 12 years old at that Oh, my darling. I spit on 3 picnic tables.

Big claim to fame.

I had a ball at that Cherry Festival, and I put in my suitcase enough cherry jam to kill a horse.

Mmm, that sounds yummy.

I thought— and it is. It's so pretty now. There's an LA flight because people figured out about Traverse City and the lakes and all up in there.

Oh, yeah. Leelanau Peninsula.

And then Mackinac Island and all that. But I'm gonna be in Detroit at the Fox Theater. That's a beautiful theater.

We did a show there.

We did.

Did this show there. And I'll say it's the only live show that I was, like, terrified to do because, you know, maybe you would know, you wouldn't know. Like, you kind of adopt this because you're riddled with fear. I create some kind of persona, and that persona is who can go on a stage in front of 3,000 people and not be afraid. But I left my hometown and created that persona, and I'm very confident on stage. And we went there I was like, oh, no. There's so many people that know me before I had the persona. And are they gonna be like, what the fuck is this? It was kind of terrifying.

Yeah.

It was still fun as hell, but I— it's the only show I was, like, quite scared to do.

Well, I'm doing Thompson Bowl and Arena, where I went to the University of Tennessee, and the Bridgestone in Nashville. And that will freak me out. Yeah, right.

Okay, you can relate. Yeah.

'Cause I'm like, the Bridgestone? Can I do this?

When I was a kid, you'd go once at Christmas to see a thing. It was like the big event of the year to get to go to the Fox Theater.

Right?

It's so beautiful.

The Ryman. When I did the Ryman the first time, anytime I did the Ryman, that's another one that's like the Grand Ole Opry. You feel the spirit.

Isn't that where it originally was?

Yeah. And everybody wants to play the Ryman. And backstage are pictures of Elvis and Patsy Cline and all that.

So cool.

It's crazy.

You've yet to bring up Waylon. You've said a lot of people.

I love Waylon, honey. And my boy, my son, is an old soul and loved Americana, Johnny Cash. He had the Highwaymen album up on the wall. Yeah, Charlie loved all that. And we would be in the minivan listening to Johnny Cash or Selena, the soundtrack from Selena, because we were in San Antonio and Maggie loved the Hispanic culture and Jennifer Lopez.

Dreaming of You is an incredible song.

She said, I may have to have that played at my wedding.

Leanne, I love you. You're so fantastic. I'm so happy for you. Season 2 of Leanne. When does it come out on Netflix?

Thursday, honey, August the 27th. Y'all can come stay at my house. Go to the University of Tennessee ballgame. You talking about crazy, honey.

Okay, be careful. Monica's very strict about who I can like.

Okay, honey, come to a ballgame when we play Georgia.

I actually— I was at the Tennessee game at Georgia last— a couple years ago. It was so fun. I was in a box. That was one of those moments that I had that I was like, I'm here at a game in a box.

I've gotten to be in a box one time. It's so exciting. That's so exciting.

It really is. But if I go, you need to understand I'm gonna be in red.

And that's okay, my darling.

Okay.

I like to talk about the SEC. I'm a big fan of the SEC football. Yes. So I like to talk about it on that stage wherever I am. And we all have a common thing about Lane Kiffin. But, um, he's cute.

Yeah, sure.

Okay, y'all. All right, uh, Leah, come back, come back. This was so great. And I hope I bump into you in I hope so too, Dave.

All right.

All right, you doll.

Thank y'all.

I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong.

I'm a little glam today.

You are?

I am.

From what?

Doing something very cool.

Is it top secret?

No. Well, maybe, but I'll spill the beans.

Oh, wow.

Um, with Resy, I'm going to different neighborhoods in LA and going to some of my favorite restaurants. Oh, fun. It's my dream.

Oh my God.

I know. And like talking to the owners and having my foodies, and it's really fun.

Do they feed you at these—

Yeah.

On these trips?

Yep.

Okay.

Sorry, misophonia.

Oh, same. We're about to trigger some misophonia.

Yeah, misophonia is part of life.

We got a game plan for tomorrow's mom's car.

And you're gonna eat.

We're gonna eat the shit out of some stuff.

Okay, that's fine.

You know, Listen, you know... Once in a while the misophonia people are a guy, I guess just gonna have to miss one.

Yeah, we're just like, if they have the right expectation going in, then, um, it should be fine. Something bad did happen though.

Does it involve your phone?

Oh, well, that's separate.

Okay. I'm like, I feel like I'm gonna get a lot of, a lot of stories out of you here.

You are. Yeah.

Um, you are.

Something bad just happened.

Oh my God.

Like 10 minutes ago.

Oh my God.

Okay. So I'm at these restaurants. I also did have wine at 9:00 AM.

Yum. Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Okay, great.

Another benefit to this.

Yeah, exactly. Fun.

Um, not a lot, but you know.

Enough.

Some.

Okay.

Um, and so, okay, so we're at these restaurants, super fun. We're in a really cool neighborhood in LA. I won't spoil it. Uh, and then I'm walking back to my car. and there's 2 people sitting outside eating, and I see one of them and I know him.

Okay.

But I don't exactly know how. One of those question marks where you're like—

You can't place it exactly.

Yeah, but I know I know him, but I know I like— but then it's one of those, or are they on TV?

Yeah, you never know in LA. Yeah.

And then, but then he makes eye contact with me and he smiles, and so I'm like, I'm like, we do know each— we know each other, but what? And so I was like, hi. But I'm still walking. And he was like, hi.

Oh no.

Oh boy.

And then—

Were you just gonna try to keep it moving and just— okay.

Yeah, just like, hey.

And go, yep, thank you. Oh, good to see you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

You look great.

Yeah, hey.

He's been disfigured since you last saw him, but you don't know that. New eyepatch, it looks great.

Oh, I love your new patch. Um, yeah, no, so then, so he, I can tell, is like kind of trying to say hi a little, but like also probably understands.

It's the me and Schwarzenegger situation.

Yes, exactly. And but then this gets way worse. Okay, so we're having this little interaction, it's happening fast, but I'm like moving, moving, moving. And then the person he's with turns around and it's Aziz.

Oh wow.

Okay.

And so then I Hey, Aziz.

Oh, so now you have time. Now you got all the time in the world.

Sit right down.

And then I was like—

and then he was like, this is kind of a David Chang situation again that I find myself in.

Okay.

Where I'm like, does anyone know each other here? Are we supposed to? We're kind of like— Aziz and I have met.

Okay. Where and when?

I auditioned for him in person, one-on-one with him.

For Master of None?

No, for a movie after that. Okay, so within the last 8 years?

Yeah.

Okay.

Um, and I think he knows who I am.

Sure. Prominent Indian woman.

Yeah, I do think that buys me a little something.

I give it to you.

But mainly it's the, it's the interaction we had. We had a real one-on-one interaction.

Yes, at the audition.

Yeah, but it was just me and him, and he was like going through it with me. I didn't book it. Um, so, uh, so then And then he's like, hey. Oh geez.

So now he's you with the other guy. So now we got a 3-way. No one knows who anyone is.

Oh my God.

Oh no.

It's a ring around the rosie of people who don't know each other.

But is it enough context clues where you're like, okay, so I kind of know the one guy. Who do I know that would know Aziz? This must be a UCB connection.

Yes. All this was happening, but not yet. 'Cause the, maybe the wine, I don't know. I was like, He said, hey, and I was like— and then I just walked.

Oh, you just bounced?

Yeah, I just went to my car.

Oh my God, so this was not resolved?

Well, it did get resolved because then I'm in at my car and I'm like, what the fuck? What was all that? And then I realized who the original person is. Okay, uh, shout out Lee Eisenberg. Okay, Lee is a very, very prominent, um, comedy writer.

Okay.

He's incredible.

Yeah.

Um, he created Jury Duty.

Oh, wonderful.

And wrote on The Office and like— yeah.

How did you know him?

Exactly. He is married to one of my new friends.

Okay.

Yes.

All right.

Who lives in this neighborhood.

This is who you played mahjong with?

Yes.

Oh.

I have new friends and they live in the neighborhood.

Oh, that's— this is very rough.

I know, but let me tell you something.

Okay.

I've never met Lee in person.

Oh, easy.

Okay.

I thought you spent an evening playing mahjong with him.

No, no, no, no. Only Emily.

That's why the cat was away. You mice were playing.

No, no, no.

Only Emily, his beautiful, lovely wife, I played mahjong with. But of course, like, we've all been trying to hang out. It's a whole thing. We're all on a text.

Oh boy.

Okay.

And, and I know what he looks like because I follow Emily on Instagram, so I see pictures And stuff. Yeah, so I— that's what happened.

And then—

That's not bad.

It could be worse.

You've never met him in person.

I know, but then I'm like, hi Aziz!

You're clean as a cucumber.

I think the Aziz part really ruined it though, because I bet Lee was like, what, she's gonna say hi to Aziz?

Yeah, that part.

She doesn't know him.

Not ideal.

But I, I have met Aziz more times than I've met Lee.

Yeah, 100% more times.

And then I immediately—

Well, now actually Actually 50% more times.

Right. Yeah. Now I— and then I text, uh, voice memoed Emily in a real furious state, you know? And I was like—

This is what I did to you when I had met the husband of one of your friends at a park.

Oh, right.

Like a little damage control.

Yeah.

A little panic.

Exactly.

Sally's husband. Correct.

This is every day of my life. Dave.

It's bad.

It's so bad. And I was like, I'm so sorry this happened. Please relay to Lee That I'm, I'm humiliated. I didn't know who he was because out of context, never met him, and I've never actually met him one-on-one, which is bad. Um, and, and I look crazy. I'm all made up.

Uh, well, I don't know about that part.

Drinking?

Yeah, with my wine.

No, thank God I had already put that down.

No, you don't look absurdly made up.

Okay, but just like, it's like a regular I wouldn't have thought—

no, no. Okay, you look normal.

I'm in full glam.

Okay, okay. What time did that start?

Uh, 7? Yeah.

Fuck.

I know, I'm tired.

I bet. A little tipsy?

No, I wish I could have had more. You know, this is what started this. Like, I had a little, and then at the next place I had a little more, and now I'm like, oh, I want— now I like really want more.

Yeah. Do we still have, um, vodka in this studio? What did we have?

Tangerine spirit? We did. We We had a vodka for a guest.

Misfire. Yeah, we thought, we thought Jen Aniston might want to pound some nice cocktails. And she's like, what are you talking about? Why would I want to drink in this interview? I'm like, I don't know, because I would want to if I drank.

I want everyone to drink in these interviews.

And we like learned what her favorite drink was and got it.

Got it. We thought we were being so thoughtful. I think it came across as more offensive. You know, I can get through an interview without drinking. Drinking my favorite cocktail right now.

Yeah.

Yeah. God, being a person's hard, as we know.

As we find out hourly. Okay, now what happened to your phone?

Oh, I got a new phone.

So I got to tell you something. So I spent a good chunk of my Sunday editing.

Great.

So I'm like editing and out of the corner of my eye, I catch this little mouse in a bright yellow, maybe shirt.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Walking down the street.

Street.

Not— yeah, out of, you know, you're walking down the street and I'm like, I go, oh my God, just a glimpse. And I'm like, oh, she's probably walking a car.

Uh-huh.

And then I see Aaron later and he's like, oh yeah, I saw Monica. And I'm like, oh, he was arriving from the airport, right?

Yes.

And I'm like, oh wow, it timed out perfectly where you were pulling up to the gate, Monica was exiting the gate. He's like, no, she was in the property.

Both are true. Okay, so this was very, this was very Sim timing, all of it.

Yeah.

So I got a new phone 2 days Um, I didn't want to get a new phone. I want to make that clear, but my phone was dying a lot.

Like you weren't getting the battery life you like?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

That's what happens with these phones. I'm not going to call out what type of phone it is, but it's obvious.

Okay.

Um, these phones start dying like on purpose.

Do you ever do these hacks? I read these Instagram posts. It's like, here's what's eating your battery. And I do, I go do those. I turn off all that stuff. I don't think my phone works very well anymore, but the battery lasts.

See, exactly. Exactly. I turn off Bluetooth because I do know that eats it.

Okay.

All right.

But anyway, um, I've had it for 2 years. It's 2 phones old. Or not 2 years, but it's 2 phones.

Can I have it?

The old one?

Yeah. And I'll put it— I'll get— I think you can put a new battery in them.

You can?

I think so.

Sure.

You can take it to like an iPhone fix place and they'll do that.

I even think maybe the Genius Bar.

Yeah, yeah.

Or Apple.

I don't have AppleCare.

No, I don't either, but they'll still I'll still do it for maybe a few hundred dollars.

Okay.

But anyway.

Sure, you can have it.

I don't want it. Get it out of here. Everything must go.

So I then got the new one. That was a whole thing because you had to order it and then we had to wait in line for it.

Well, I got to say that. So simultaneous to me seeing you out the window, you seeing Aaron somewhere, I'm also getting a text from Wobby Wob saying, because I've now sent a text to everyone, hey, can we do fact check tomorrow?

I know that hasn't happened yet in the timeline. It hasn't? Uh-uh. So this is what happened.

But it happened between when I saw Aaron.

Okay.

Okay.

So I am not there yet. I'm a few steps.

Okay, good.

Okay, so I got my phone. I have to do the, the transfer. Mm-hmm. I start doing it. It says 8 hours.

Okay.

And I was like, ooh, it's probably just saying 8 hours. I doubt it's really gonna be 8 hours.

You know, it does try to give you an estimate that it can overdeliver.

Under—

it tries to underpromise and overdeliver.

It does. And it, but then 3 hours later it said, oh fuck, it said 7 hours. And I was like, oh boy. And then I was trying to move it locations in the house. I didn't know if that You don't have proper internet. I don't have good Wi-Fi.

It's bad. You don't have Wi-Fi. You've got, uh, interlock, whatever the fucking satellite thing is.

Oh, Netgear or whatever.

What's it called? No, Starlink.

Yeah, Starlink.

What the hell's going on over here?

She doesn't have full power and she doesn't have internet.

No electricity, no internet.

I know. So anyway, that's happening. It's saying 7 hours and I was like, ugh, okay, whatever. I guess I'll leave it here. And in the, but in the meantime, I saw a text come through. And it was on the group work group chain, you, Rob, and Emma. And so then I was like, oh fuck, I can't look at it.

Oh, right.

I wasn't able to look at it. I just saw that it came through. So I was like, oh no. And this might be a timely thing. I don't know. So I left both phones to do their thing and I went to your house. I went into your, like in the side gate.

Okay.

I look around, I don't see anyone.

Right.

I'm shouting, Dax! Kristen! No one's there.

Okay.

I knock on the front door.

Oh, geez.

Kristen's car isn't there, so I was like, oh, they must just be out.

Yeah. I was upstairs in the attic.

You didn't see me even roaming around your yard.

No, 'cause the window I have while editing is to my right, just looking at—

That's true.

Our shared street.

That's true.

I can't see our yard.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah.

So then, and I was going to your house to tell you, hey, I don't have a phone. I need to know what was on that text in case it's timely, but you weren't there. So then I go back and I thought about going out the front gate, but I was like, no, I don't think they like when I go out the front gate opening and closing and exposing it if it doesn't have to be open and closed. So I went back out.

That's not anything. If there's anything, the gate was breaking nonstop.

Right. It breaks a lot.

And I did get, um, during that little phase, it was in my mind when it was opening and closing a lot. I'm like, it's just Walmart.

It's a Yeah.

But now we're— it's functioning again.

Okay.

Well, I went out the side gate. I turned left to go to the white gates to leave to go to Kara.

Yeah.

So what I definitely saw you is when you walked and you went in the side gate.

To the house.

Because I lost sight of you before you would have turned left.

Okay.

And I presumed you were going— well, correctly, I presumed you're gonna go to Kara, but you had a pit stop, which was the house.

Yes. Okay.

Okay.

So then I am going out the gates of the neighborhood and I see that there's a car parked outside your gate. And I was like, who is that? And then I see the back of a person and I was like—

Cute little person.

Yeah, it was a cute person, but I didn't know who it was.

Yeah.

And then when the gate opened, it was Arin.

Yeah.

Look at that timing.

And I wasn't— and I was putting in the wrong code.

Oh wow.

As many times as I put it in. I'm like trying the Nashville code, you know.

I'm just— Yeah, but he, he actually did it. He just pressed—

Oh yeah, it's very confusing. The many trials of being too spoiled. Yeah, I know.

So I saw Aaron, I gave him a squeeze, I helped him get in the house. Um, I said, I'm going to Cara, I don't have a phone. Um, you guys should come. I don't know if— I don't think anyone's Yeah. And then I went on my way to Cara. You guys did not come, but—

I did bring it up.

Thank you.

But then we had—

Plans.

Something else going on.

You had plans. But, um, you really missed out. There was a really, really kind armchairie—

Okay.

There who was a day one listener. She said, um, it was a Sim moment because she wasn't into podcasts and her friend or somebody was like, you should get into podcasts. podcast, and it was February 14th, 2018.

Holy smokes.

And she saw it and she's like, I might like this. And she's been a listener ever since.

Wow.

And guess what she was wearing?

Uh, Cookie Boy shirt?

No, it's specific to you guys.

A Ted Seeger shirt?

Yeah. Oh, Jesus.

And I said, I said, uh, I told Aaron— Dad, I said, Aaron's in town and I told them to come here.

Yeah.

And so she's mad at you guys.

And I just told Monica that, oh, I just sent Cara a bunch of, uh, Ted Seegers recently.

I thought it would be so exciting for her to meet you two together. She's wearing a Ted Seeger shirt. Damn it.

Can we redo it?

We blew it. We blew it. We were having our own experience over at our favorite hard shell taco restaurant because we're at the counter waiting and, uh, look over at this table and there are 6 Young women, mid to late 20s. I think we're so old we don't know. Okay, that feels right. Yeah, mid-20s. Especially what they were doing. They were dressed up in the craziest outfits. One was a clown cowboy, so her whole face was painted like a rodeo clown, and she had a cowboy hat on.

Okay.

Another one looked like Stevie Nicks. Another one had, like, a pirate outfit. They had all these crazy outfits on.

They're practicing for Halloween.

Well, of course I need to know what's going Of course. Yes. And I say, uh, I say, uh, uh, Gales, uh, what's, what's, uh, happening with all the outfits? Uh, did you just do a performance? And they said, oh no, we're— do you know Bob McNerney's Marionette Museum?

Oh, I, I want to go there.

Everyone knows.

Everyone knows.

It's a real thing.

Kristen knew about it too.

Yeah.

I don't—

we're getting the last name of Bob wrong. Yeah, you are. Bob Barker.

Yes.

Bob Barker? No, it's different. It's a Different Bob Barker.

I didn't hear that come out of her mouth.

I don't remember Bob Barker.

Bob Baker.

Bob Baker. That's much more Bob Barker.

Oh, I did think it was Bob Barker.

Of course.

The Price is Right on these marionettes.

Bob Baker.

Bob Barker's Price is Right?

No.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Falcon's Crest.

Yep. But this is a whole thing here. Bob Baker's Marionette Theater.

Yeah, apparently. And so I presume that they were performers, right? But they weren't. There was some kind of festival and everyone got all— so it was so fun.

Cute.

And we're chatting with them, and then, you know what, the, the, the clown, uh, Trinity, who I thought she— I heard Trigger, which would be the greatest name for a cowboy clown, right? Like Trigger, the, the horse of Lone Ranger, I think.

She said Trigger, but it was Trinity.

Okay.

And so We both heard her.

That was nice. And then she says, I didn't get your name. And I go, oh, I'm Dax. And she said, okay. And then one of the gals says, my brother met you once at Zankou Chicken. And I go, I guarantee that's true because I love Zankou Chicken.

Yeah, we used to get it a lot.

And I said, did he say I was— how did the interaction go? And she said, oh, he said you were really nice and he was telling you about some movies he liked. And he said you were real down to earth and talked to him for a while. And I go, that's great. That's great. And she said, now, I don't know if this part's true, but he claims you— that he told you my sister loves you. And you said, is she hot? And I go, oh, for sure. I definitely said that. And I said, because there's nothing a brother wants to talk about less than if his sister's hot or not.

Oh my God.

So anyways, that was fun.

I can't think of a more you interaction.

Yeah, that was all like, uh, Zancu for sure. Was your sister hot? I was like, oh, this, this has definitely happened.

Wow, that's fun. Yeah.

Um, yeah, we got 26 tacos and then got on our way.

Wow.

Wowee wow.

Okay, so there was— I was expecting perhaps a whole story related to the new phone that would have involved an underwater debacle, uh, a theft, as it happened in the past in England.

Yes.

But it was just a battery issue.

It was just old-fashioned. I had been waiting, though. I've been holding out for the new phone for a while because I was like, hell no, am I going to get the 17 just as this is about to come out?

But can I ask you, does this stuff matter to you? Because to me it doesn't, right? No, I can't relate to the people like, 19's coming. It's like, I haven't noticed a new feature from the last 3 iterations. Yeah, like they take pictures and I send texts.

I don't know. It doesn't matter to me, but practically, To me, it doesn't make sense to get a phone that's gonna be updated in 2 months.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

You get—

So I've been holding out.

I relate to that as far as— What is this?

This is 18.

18.

Okay.

How long more do we have on that one?

It's just— oh, this just happened 2 days ago. 2 days ago? Yeah.

That's what I just— And that's a pretty blue.

Thank you. I got a new case.

Wow.

And, um, I, I do have a weird thing with phones. I really resent— Jess was asking me this. He was like, you have a weird thing. Like, you hate paying for them. And I do. I really don't like paying for, like, laptops or phones or tech for some reason.

That is so strange to me.

Yeah, it's strange to everyone, apparently.

Because it's like, if anything, in my opinion, like, deserves its price tag, there's so much tech and shit in them.

I think because I'm like—

Versus like the, there'd be a candle holder that you'd be like, oh yeah, that's definitely worth twice as much as an iPod.

It is.

And I'm like, what does it do? It holds a candle.

It's because all of it's practical. It's like utility. It's, it's not—

It doesn't move you emotionally.

That's why.

Exactly. And it's there to do work and I just want it to do work. I don't need it to do anything special. And, um, so I'd rather not replace them ever.

Okay.

But all right, I have to.

Yeah. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

How was your weekend? Can't remember. Who knows?

No, I think it was really nice. It was low-key.

I think, I think I enjoyed it. I'm not sure. I think it was a great weekend.

If I had to guess, I'd say I enjoyed it. I don't— nothing stands out. Um, so what about you guys?

Well, I don't really know how to mount some of this stuff. I'm increasingly thinking I'm gonna have to tell less and less, um, stories about—

Your family.

My family life, because my kids are getting older.

Yeah.

And so this would be one where I'm really not sure. I'm kind of on the fence. I'll just say that we went to the Dodgers game, which I was very excited about.

Oh, fun! Yeah.

And I got us some really ideal seats.

Great.

You know, you get to do the buffet beforehand.

The 4 of you went?

Well, that's the dream is you eat. Well, it's, you can have a buffet there and then you go and sit in the seats.

Yeah. No, I'm saying the 4 of you, your family.

Oh yes.

My wife and my 2 children.

Okay, great.

And of course we can't leave. You know, I got it mapped out where we'll be able to eat. We'll finish eating and then the game will start. That of course is off the table, but we, we, there's, yeah, I can't tell you. What I just want to hit you with the punchline is we basically were able to watch the game from the 2nd inning to the 6th inning.

Okay.

Okay.

And, um, and that's— you know what, that's 4 more innings of baseball than I was gonna see otherwise.

Right.

And did you get to eat your food?

We did eat our food. Yes, we had delicious— I love a buffet more than anything. I know that's not your thing.

It used to be, but germs got in the way.

Oh, it's germ-driven now?

Yeah.

You think you're gonna get a parasite or something?

Well, I got one. Oh, it wasn't from a buffet.

So then why, why are you—

I don't know.

Now just the The idea of it got in my head, but I like a buffet in theory.

They're so fun. And this one had some ice cream. It had like a soft serve ice cream with squirtable toppings.

That sounds yummy. Yeah.

And I try to always— my commitment is to eat between 4 and 6 Dodger Dogs. That's always what I minimally want to eat. If I go with Nate, Nate and I always like, that's kind of our commitment. But I had had so much pot roast. Right. Pot roast.

Yeah.

You wouldn't believe how much pot roast I had.

I do believe it.

Like, how often— you never see a pot roast.

It's fucking rare.

It's rare.

It's so good. Um, pot roast, I used to put ketchup all over it and there's potatoes. It's almost like a— yeah, it was fucking amazing. Isn't that funny? You guys both almost puked.

But just be—

if you put ketchup on a hamburger—

I've just never heard of ketchup on a pot roast. My mom used to make pot roast a lot.

She did?

Yeah.

Maybe she didn't get the cue.

Savannah in her. Yeah.

Would she be upset if I put ketchup on it?

I think.

Well, let's ask. I'll ask her.

I made a delicious pot roast last week.

You did?

Yeah. I think I should make one while we're here.

Yes, I have a slow cooker.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

How do you make it?

Um, well, I've been, I've been doing, um, I've been finding Instagram recipes.

Nice.

So everything— I haven't struck out yet. I mean, I'm doing like chicken pot pies. Yum.

These are— Aaron, these are like big recipes.

You are? Yeah. I got a little crazy, as I tend to do. Like, I do this and I— and okay, we're all together, some friends, and Ruthie brings up that, oh yeah, Aaron loves to cook. And I don't know what came over me. And I go, yeah, I don't. And, um—

Oh, but you were lying?

Well, I don't know.

I was like being difficult.

You felt like you didn't want to—

I'm so difficult sometimes. Interesting.

And I was like, yeah, why?

That's not true.

We already know what it is. Okay, say it's your idea. It's if it's someone else's idea, it's no longer a good idea. I know, I know. That's why we got along so well.

He doesn't tell me to, because neither of you are putting ideas in each other.

Well, we're so careful about the way we interact with each other that we don't ever trigger that thing that we know.

We're so, so strange.

Isn't that so stupid?

It is. We know it's ridiculous.

I know, but I'm just saying, like, if you said to me you like Sean Yeah. And I was like, no.

Yeah, it would be insane. It'd be insane. Yeah. Which is what it is when— okay, but I also think there's a second thing happening.

It might be deeper.

Tell me.

Oh, go ahead.

Well, it's still— it's still— no, you say your thing. Sorry.

I did end up— it turned into a whole thing.

Oh yeah, of course, because she was probably like, what do you mean?

Yeah, well, I was like— it turned into— And she's like, now we're at home and she's like, I guess I'll order something. And I do cook often.

And you like it?

Yeah.

Oh my God.

It's your favorite guy.

So now all we do is order out.

No.

This is stuck.

So then I had to apologize and I said, I don't even know what I was talking about.

And I don't know why you weren't allowed to say that to your friends.

Right, right.

I'm not sure.

Yeah, it's so insane.

Well, it's interesting because sometimes, sometimes we love to be known. Like, that's a version, right? It's like someone knows me so well they say they know I like shopping or cooking or whatever. They're explaining it to other people. And I think that's— I often like that. I'm like, that person knows me.

Yeah, that's lovely.

If it's something neutral, like cooking.

Sure.

Um, but did you think what was coming next is like she was basically offering your services to cook for everyone? Because I think that's maybe what's— yeah, because to me, I think he has a bit of my haircut thing. Oh, which is he really would love to make a meal for you and blow your mind, but then the second he feels like he has to make you meals, then now he's out. Is that—

Yeah, it is. It is.

You want to be in control of But you know what?

I did. And here's where it especially doesn't make sense is, like, 2 weeks before that conversation, Ruthie has been having a mahjong—

Yeah!

Night?

Girls over.

Yeah.

And I made— okay, now Ruthie did ask, like, can— something simple, like, can you make smash burgers? Would you mind? And I started to resent it.

Oh!

And, um, and because she asked. And, um, and then I had to put that aside, and I said, you know what? I'm gonna even fucking do you one better, and I'm gonna make this crazy meal. Ooh, yeah!

That's so nice!

Yeah, so—

Contrary action!

We like that. Yeah, so I made it for all the girls, and I invited a friend over, And, um, anyway, that sounds lovely. And, um, yeah, then 2 weeks later, I, yeah, got a little used to enjoying it.

Maybe you felt like, oh no, now this is a pattern, right?

Well, I have this disgusting quality as well, which is like, I love to give people stuff and I hate to be asked for things.

You like, you like to give people on your terms.

That's right.

And, and even then, sometimes you have Some resentments, I think. Sometimes, sometimes. I think it can happen. Oh.

Oh.

I don't identify with that. I don't identify with resenting people I've given things to. In fact, I've given a lot of things to people, especially recently where it's gone completely sideways and it doesn't bother me at all.

Yeah.

It probably depends on the situation and person.

Yeah.

Yeah, I wish I could get specific, but yeah, there's things I could really complain about and I really don't. Now I give and I don't care what happens afterwards.

Yes, that's a good quality.

But if, if you ask me for stuff, I have a real hard time with it. Now, I, I am getting better. Someone asked me for money the other day, um, not the— not in my circle. And then I was just like, I'm gonna give them the max tax-free.

That's nice. That's very nice.

Yeah.

So I went, oh, like, that was contrary action. I just—

yeah, I—

but Erin and I have this. I think you wouldn't be uncomfortable, would you?

No, no, no, no.

Like, we had to have this moment where it's I help Aaron. I help him, um, very predictably.

Yeah.

And then one time he wanted— he needed money for something.

Yes.

And I said, this is going to ruin our friendship if you ask us for money, because I now, when I pick up the phone and I see your name, I don't want to have anxiety about it. Like, I'd way rather just be able to say, like, here's how I'm going to help you.

Yes.

And then beyond that, I don't really— I don't want to have anxiety when I pick up the phone.

Yeah, that's fine.

That's fair and fine.

And I was like, oh my God, that's what he feels.

Right.

Yeah. So I was like, That makes perfect sense.

So you're probably happy he told you that.

And a lot of it's just my dad's fault, right? Because the last 6 years of our relationship, I don't know, 60% of the calls were kind of— they were fake calls. They were like, we'd do some baloney talk, but it was really just— and then every time I'd be talking, I'm just like, what's coming at the end of this? I hate this feeling. And I was like, just tell me right away what you want. Then maybe if you still wanna chat with me socially, I'd like to do that, but I feel this doesn't feel clean.

Well, yeah, you don't wanna feel like that's the reason they're talking to you or reaching out. Yeah.

Yeah.

It gets complicated.

And I know what position they're in. 'Cause sometimes I gotta ask people for stuff and I feel like, well, I should, you know, do a few nice things before I, so I don't know. It's very complicated.

Well, it also depends. It's very specific to the person. Like there is someone in my life who has asked me for things and I'm I'm like, no. Then you're like, oh, is by me being generous fueling this thing where they feel like it's an open-ended question? And then I don't like the way that feels. I feel used.

Yeah.

Like it's, it is a tri— it is very tricky. But my therapist taught me something.

Oh, what was that?

Um, because yeah, sometimes I get in this exact situation where I've been like giving and giving and then I'm like, then I can feel a resentment go off.

Uh-huh.

And it's really unfair to everyone. Like, it's unfair to the people I've given to because I've done that out of generosity.

Also, really quickly, can I just add this in case anyone's throwing up? I know it sounds— this happens without money. This is also your time. Like, I think a lot of people would relate to like, yeah, I helped this person move and then I helped them fix their lawnmower and then I showed up for them here. Yes. And then it just feels like, well, I'm— what am I, your assistant?

Yes. This is about reciprocation in general, but this applies to all of that. This applies to your time as well-ish. Um, uh, she said you have to give for fun and for free.

Mm-hmm. I agree.

And so I say that to myself all the time now. If I'm making like those decisions, it's like, this isn't— I'm not gonna get anything back for this.

Yeah.

Emotionally or financially or anything. It's just for me to do.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, so it's good to remember. Remember that. Yeah, but it's hard. So, so the dinner, maybe you felt like—

I don't think it's justified. My feelings.

At least you know that. That's a big part of it. For real, for real. But I now want you to make me dinner.

Sure. Yeah, let's have dinner. Yeah, you love it so much.

Yeah, I, I remember you saying that we talked about pot roast a long time ago and you were like, can't fucking make— like, it doesn't turn out like it's supposed to and it should be so easy. You put it in the slow cooker.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you fucking forget about it, right? That's how it should be. Yeah. Um, yeah, there was a couple things I picked up along the way and I was like, see, but now I'll fucking say it out loud and it's No, it won't.

No, it won't.

Maybe.

Yeah, it does sound like you guys have some things about deliver, like it needing to be perfect or something. I don't know if you have that, but that sounds like you're worried that it won't be as good as people want it to be or something. Yeah.

How stupid is that? No, it's so— yeah, but when you're on the other end and someone has whipped you up some dinner, everything's amazing. I fucking don't care.

Everything tastes so good.

Does it gotta be perfect? No, it's great.

Exactly. Totally. I'll take whatever.

And I hate when— and I don't want to be the guy to go, oh, it would have been better if I gave it another— or I just go on and on about how it should have been better.

I forgot to salt it. I wish I had salted it. It would have been better if I had.

One of the greatest laughs we ever had, Aaron and I, was someone made us some steaks once.

Oh my God.

And they fucking torched them. Like, they really, really torched them. They were gone. That happened. It was like a shoe sole. And we, of course— and then the person's doing exactly what Aaron's like, oh, maybe I should have pulled these off a couple of minutes sooner. And we're like, no way, these are fucking delicious, right? And then there's like a whole performance, and this went on for a while, and we did a good job. We ate those steaks, which was almost impossible.

Yeah.

Like, we finished our steaks, and we had already eaten so much that day. But on the ride home, we really started laughing so hard. We were, we were saying that if we had been in that situation, we looked at the grill and saw this, what we had done to the steaks, we would have walked through the backyard and disappeared for 3 days and then said we were abducted. And that's why I, I couldn't have pulled them off in time because we were abducted.

I would have never served those things.

The amount of pride on the line for a man about cooking a steak is fucking hysterical.

That's crazy.

Anytime a guy's like, I'll cook the the steaks. It's like, okay, you're taking on a lot of risk right now.

Oh my God.

Yeah, this is like 7 years ago.

Meanwhile, moms are making dinner every night and the kid— like, people are just like, ew, I don't like green beans. You know, it's like—

We were so mean to my mom. Yeah, we were. She wanted to make a couple dishes she liked. Yeah, you know, a month.

Exactly.

Fucking— I tell you, kid, chicken We'd be like, oh, man, you're making—

fuck, fucking hate you.

Like, she hated us. We were like, you hate us? Yeah, no one wants to eat this. My poor mama just want one meal that tastes good for herself.

It's probably really good.

It was terrible, Monica.

That's how I felt about jambalaya. I hate jambalaya because my mom Trying to force-feed me jambalaya.

Was it jambalaya or jambalaya?

Jambalaya.

To me it's jambalaya. I think in the South it's jambalaya.

Okay, it sounds more fun and festive.

Yeah, but it's not. It is a beatdown trying to eat that.

Yeah, her other one was fucking Spanish rice, stuffed peppers.

Oh, anything—

Tried to get some vegetables because that chicken cacciatore is like, I I feel like she started with 7 or 9 onions.

It sounds so good.

Fuck, so many onions, very little chicken.

Yeah, what is that?

Okay, looking it up.

Poor Laura.

Italian dish prepared with meat, onions.

So many onions. Herbs.

17 onions.

Usually tomatoes, often peppers, and sometimes wine.

Oh wow.

Peppers and onions. Peppers and onions.

It's like, that sounds great. It sounds really good, actually. Oh, and some rice, I think.

I had a neighbor in Row Lake that, um, my— I was— how do I put this? I guess I was, um, they were babysitting me, um, and, um, it was 2, 2 girls, one girl our age and a younger one and the mom. She made liver. I don't— have you ever, ever even tried it?

I have tried pâté.

Patty.

Oh yeah, so this was— maybe this was the one. I've never tried it again. Yeah, and, um, liver.

So, um, does the butcher give it away for free? Is it like we got all the— Right, some fucking Some organs.

Some organs. Don't call it organs.

It stunk so bad.

Not only is it an organ, it's the one that filters your blood.

And I think she was— I don't know if she made it out to be just— no, it stunk so bad. So, um, fuck, dude.

Was it chicken livers?

It was a beef liver. Like a big fucking humongous fucking organ.

Size of a porterhouse.

So she was forcing me— this was— I was telling Ruthie about this recently. This came up, um, about kids not eating. And, all right, and I was like, I would fucking eat damn near anything, um, back then to just whatever. I ate shit every day. And, um, but this stunk so bad.

Ew!

And, um, and she, she said she plopped a big bottle of ketchup down, and she was like, it was her fucking job to make me eat this liver.

Oh my God.

And so now she put ketchup, and I hated ketchup.

Oh, still hates ketchup.

Oh, no wonder the pause.

Thank you. And I'm like, fucking ketchup on this? And I was like, um, no. And, um, she fucking drug me by the hair into the bathroom and shoved the bar of soap In my mouth.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

And when it, when it was all over, I would have fucking ate 10 of those bars of soap before I would have fucking ate that liver.

Yeah.

Oh man, I had a similar— my stepdad, uh, Rick, uh, my second stepdad, he made a big, big batch of fish. Oh, you heard it. I swear in my mind everyone had a fish on their plate with like the fucking bones and Oh man. And, uh, the rest of my family— there was a lot of us at that point. There was 5 kids and my mom and him. And so there's 7 of us and 6 folks— well, definitely not Carly, but, but everyone ate this fish.

Yeah, I love fish.

I was just like staring at it and smelled. I was looking at those sharp bones and I was like, I can't—

sharp bones—

I can't eat the fish. And he said, you're not getting up from this table until you eat that fish.

Yeah.

And I sat there For several hours.

Yeah. That's how I feel about the jambalaya.

And he just sat and stared at me like I was not to get up. And then finally I'm like, fuck, I gotta get this fish down. And I took one forkful and threw up violently all over the plate.

Oh no.

And then I looked at him and he's like, you can go to bed. That was the end of that.

Oh my God. Showdown.

Oh my God.

Oh, fuck.

I guess you didn't have a cat that you could pull up.

I just don't understand the obsession with making a kid eat something. No, I don't really.

It's over.

I think so too. Yeah, probably.

But that definitely was a time. Well, they thought like you'd die if you didn't eat dinner or something.

Well, there were these other elements going on. There's like, you're entitled, right? It's like, this is a good piece of fish. Look at the bones.

Right. People would kill to have that. Yes.

There's a kid. Yeah. Ethiopia was big then with the commercials. So it was like—

Starving kids in other countries. That was always a thing.

And like, you're an entitled brat if you don't like fish.

Right.

Or liver.

Yeah. To your point, I would've eaten fucking cardboard box, whatever. Oh. I wasn't highfalutin'.

You never learned to like fish.

Yeah. With those starters, you know, it's hard to overcome, I think. Yes.

That really is true.

Oh God. Were we ever forced to eat anything?

Jambalaya!

Jambalaya. Okay. But to the point where you weren't allowed to leave the table?

Okay. My memory of that is that yes, I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I had some of it or like ate like some bites.

Was there shrimp and sausage in it?

I just remember the sausage.

Sausage.

Shit.

Scallops.

I love scallops.

Mussels. Wow.

It's— I like mussels too. I like all that stuff now. I probably love it. I love jambalaya now, but I, I hate it.

Fish bone broth stock.

Do you like fish?

It's been a whole thing with fish too.

Oh.

I did.

And, um, and I'm afraid I would have talked him out of it.

Yeah, I really thought one day I was like— it was to the point like where Dex used to go like when we were younger too, and he's like, you would just eat a piece of fish from anywhere. Like, you, you don't even care where. I would, I would just would be like, I'll have the fish.

Yeah, like I'm talking we'd be at, um, the fucking Country Boy, right? Which is like a step below Denny's. It was much cheaper than Denny's. Yeah, you could get a full breakfast for like $1.90, and he'd have the lake trout or perch.

I mean, so after I got sober, I, um, I was sitting here thinking about it and I was like, did I ever like it? And I Was I— did it get to where I was just trying to prove a point that I would eat the fish everywhere?

Where are you?

And that became like internally my thing. Yeah, like, but I've never enjoyed it. And then I was like, I don't even like it. I don't like fish. So I stopped eating fish like 7 years ago almost. Yeah.

He's got 7 years fish sobriety.

Yeah, of course. I love it.

Fish is great. Great for you.

Well, yeah, Ruthie eats it all the time and I fucking, I get pretty grossed out.

Wow.

By it on her plate.

Like when we're out to eat, I'm like, yeah, she probably gets a lot of salmon.

You know who loves their fish extra stinky is the Italians. We just heard another story cuz I think, you know, the story when we were with the Richardsons in Italy and Molly got the branzino or whatever.

The, you know, no, I, branzino, but I think she got a cod, which I also remember I made fish in my apartment.

Fucked it up.

I did.

Yeah.

Yeah. And it was cod.

Yeah.

They tell you cod doesn't stink.

And then they do tell you that though.

And then you get a stinky one.

Yeah. It was really stinky.

This was so bad that like, and I was seated next to Molly cuz we were playing spades before dinner and I had to move. I mean, it was such a stinky, putrid fish and then she couldn't get through it. And then friends of theirs just went to Italy as well.

Give me that fish.

And got a real stanker and they sent it back and they told, no, no, no. We— this is how we like it. The chef said this is ideal.

Interesting.

So that's an interesting cultural thing. Yeah, you could love a real stinkier the better.

I wonder what it is that's making it have that smell.

I think rot, isn't it?

No, no, it's probably not.

Isn't that the rot?

I don't think it's that.

The more rotten, the more expensive it is.

Yeah, a '78 dry-aged.

I was gonna say it's just aged on the sidewalk.

Dry-aged bass.

I had fish today.

You did?

With your wine?

Yep.

Oh wow, what kind of fish?

Well, I had a tuna melt.

Oh, that's, that's, that's virtually hamburger meat.

It's still fish.

I could eat a tuna melt.

I would eat that too. It was so good. Um, okay, let's do a little facties.

Yeah, this is from Leanne Morgan. You know that incredible comedian? Oh my God, yeah, she's so funny.

I've talked— I actually I've talked about her a lot to quite a few people. I mean, I love telling Ruthie that. I go, yeah, I told her you were from Albuquerque— Birmingham. And she said, yeah, I'm pretty big down there.

Yeah, you were here when we interviewed her.

I was. And I watched 2 episodes of the show with you, and we pretty much laughed the entire time.

Well, from beginning to end.

Just joke after joke.

And I was fucking, I bought into it. Like, I loved it.

It's so funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. So I looked up at what point in time did more people have braces than not have braces? Okay.

That's an interesting question. I'm having a hard time because we talked about this. Do you think there was a point where more than 50% of the population had braces?

Yeah. Like, well, I don't think I asked it right. It was a little confused. I'm just wondering at this point, have most people had braces? braces in their life.

Oh, okay. What percentage of Americans have had braces?

Should I do that?

Yeah.

Okay. What percentage of Americans have had— but it's hard because it's like, at what age?

Well, just in their life, I think.

Right. But if it's like— okay, it says an estimated 50% to 70% of American children are expected to wear braces or undergo orthodontic treatment before reaching adulthood. But at what point— I get my— I was asking at what year did that start happening?

The orthodontia revolution.

Yeah.

Um, I have a guess.

Okay. When?

I think it's '84.

That's a great guess. I would've guessed '86, but yeah. Yeah.

Okay, great.

Uh, what year did orthodontia get popular?

I guess it's just, it's not as specific.

'Cause I think when my mom, my mom wanted them, they were available to her as a kid in the '60s, but they were like, it was crazy expensive. But then we were broke and I had it. So I think—

Okay. Yeah. So I'm gonna read 2 things. So it says braces became dramatically more common over the second half of the 20th century. For example, Americans born around 1942, only about 4.6% received orthodontic treatment before adulthood. I can't believe they had it at all.

Yeah.

Among those born around 1972, it had risen to about 29.7%.

Okay, I'm in that class.

Okay, this says even today, the number of people currently in orthodontic treatment is nowhere close to 50%.

Oh, okay.

So that's not true. All 3 of my kids had braces.

All 3?

Yeah. All 3.

Yeah. Yeah.

My kids have had Invisalign, which is different, but still the same.

Mm-hmm.

It said a 9— yeah, we count that. And a 1988 to '91 national survey found that nearly 20% of adults 18 to 50 and 18% of children had already received orthodontic treatment. treatment. So that was in the late '80s.

'84?

Yeah, late '80s.

Sounds like 1984 really took off.

I had them. Everyone I knew had them. I mean, you had them. The reason I wanted to know this is because you had them and you didn't have a lot of money. So I was wondering, like, wow, I'm kind of surprised your mom was able to do that.

It was a huge priority to her because she had wanted them so bad, right? It was like me and wanting my kids to have a dirt bike because I didn't have one.

You don't have the money, you don't have the money. So it must have been at least—

I think she went into debt to give us braces, right? Yeah, David and I both. Wow.

Yeah, and out pretty fucking well too.

Yeah, it was worth it. Yeah, a lot of return on the investment.

Well, I wonder how much— I wonder, I wonder how much she spent.

If you would have seen my teeth, there's no way I could have been in show business. They're truly a non-starter. The size of my overbite and how fucking cranked each tooth was.

Yeah.

Very few are like flush, you know, they were all angled.

Right. Yeah.

Right.

Do you remember him like that or was that before?

No, he met me with braces.

He had braces when we met.

I had them forever. I had braces for a decade.

And what, remind me, 11? How old were you guys when you met?

11.

11. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Well, that does solve it because you said you had it starting at And I was like, well, no, but then that's—

So I had years of, um, retainers before I had braces because first we had to get the fucking overbite handled.

Yeah.

So that was years of the Bionator and spreading my jaw apart. And then Aaron will remember I had to have fucking 4 teeth removed in 7th grade, um, to accommodate all this shit that was going on. I mean, they, they went to war on my mouth. Yeah.

I also had— I had a class Crossbite.

Oh, fun. Yeah, that's, um—

Wait, a crossbite?

What do you call it? Uh, limited edition?

It was limited edition. They cross in the back, like they're not— and they're— it's pretty much back to that. Like, okay, it's shuttering. Even it crossed.

Oh wow. I thought a cross would be like this, like your natural smile would be like this. No, crisscross.

Um, but yeah, I had braces for 3 years. Oh, that was pretty long back then.

What grades?

6th through 8th.

Okay, nice.

When did you get yours off?

11th grade.

Yeah, that's so late.

I know I got punched by that 24-year-old dude when I still had braces, and my brace went through my lip.

That's like the mo— I didn't have braces, but that was what you had to watch out for. I can't imagine having the braces.

And getting punched.

Yeah. But you— but also when you fight every week, you're like, fuck, I gotta fight him. He's got braces.

You're gonna cut your hand.

Yeah. Yeah.

It was not—

it was a—

it was bad for both parties.

Yeah.

Right. He was getting belted in the mouth with good braces. It was fucking rough.

Oof.

Oof.

Oof.

Oof.

Okay. So I looked up why teeth move. Um, around perimenopause and menopause. Um, estrogen.

Oh.

It says your teeth aren't actually fused to your jawbone. Each tooth is suspended in a tiny structure called the periodontal ligament, surrounded by the bone of the jaw. That bone is constantly being broken down and rebuilt. Estrogen helps regulate that bone remodeling. As estrogen fluctuates during perimenopause and then drops substantially After menopause, bone turnover changes, including in the bone surrounding the teeth. The jawbone can lose some density. The periodontal tissues can become more susceptible to inflammation. Gums may recede.

Okay.

I just— being a woman is so—

To lose them.

This is horrible.

God.

Um, it says if you're noticing that your teeth are suddenly shifting, especially your bottom front teeth, you're not imagining it. Great. Um, does my mom like Nancy Grace? Uh, not so much.

Okay, you asked her?

Uh-huh.

She says, I don't really watch her. I never liked the way she treated her guests.

Okay, sure.

Okay. Um, who did—

I never liked the way she treated her guests.

Who did Grady's Restaurant get bought by in Tennessee, the one she worked for him. Um, Brinker International bought the Grady's restaurant chain in 1989.

Okay.

It says—

oh, I remember Grady's.

You do?

All right, no, why do I— well, why do I—

I thought I knew it, but when she described it, I'm like, there's no way I could have gone there.

I guess I'm just thinking it's Perkins or something, right?

I know Perkins.

Gladys or Gladys's.

Um, great. Brinker is behind Chili's and Maggiano's.

Reputable.

Very trustworthy.

Trustworthy.

Very.

Yeah, very.

You know exactly what you're gonna get.

Okay, so the podcast about Black Dahlia is called Root of Evil.

Oh, for the listener, I did take her after the episode. I joined her and we took a car ride and we stood in front of it like 2 weirdos and just stared at at it for a while.

Scary stuff.

Yeah.

Scary.

Hodel.

George Hodel.

That's like a block, right, from here? Yeah.

Yeah, it's really close.

Um, beautiful house.

She said Dry Bar, like she performed at a Dry Bar, and I thought she was talking about the hair place, but she was talking about a Dry Bar.

No alcohol.

Yeah, I've never heard of that. Why isn't—

Well, you're from Georgia where there's a ton of dry counties.

There are, but then there aren't bars there.

Well, there's places you can play It was the place when you lived in White County.

Yeah.

We would go play pool, right? And they didn't serve alcohol.

They did not.

Then wouldn't that just be called a pool hall?

Or a Dry Bar.

I guess so.

Is it— well, Dry Bars— was this recent she performed at one?

No, it was a while ago.

No? So it was the Southern thing for sure.

Yeah.

Now they're popping up because of the NA trend.

Oh, well, that makes sense.

But I doubt that's what she was talking about.

Yeah, no.

This was before that. Yeah.

Yeah. This Dry Bar in White County, Georgia, Georgia was, um, uh, full of, uh, rock. It was— you could get into a fight there.

It was for people who still wanted to fight, even if they still needed a place to fight.

Yeah, but I think you also showed up with a good buzz. You just couldn't get served there.

The guys were going onto their truck a lot.

Yeah, it was a bar.

Then why not just go to a bar?

The county was dry.

Right, that's right, that's right. Okay, but—

And you didn't want to drive 13 miles.

Yeah, that's probably wise.

So just go to the pool hall, bring some alcohol in your truck.

Yeah.

And go and have a fight.

Um, well, I just thought that was a weird oxymoron.

It is for sure.

So then I looked up some common everyday oxymorons.

Oh, great.

Okay.

We know the classics.

Jumbo shrimp, number one.

Yeah.

Jumbo shrimp. Uh, deafening silence.

Oh, that's—

yeah, I like that.

I've experienced it too. It's real.

Yeah, it's real. Bittersweet. We know that one. Oh, pretty ugly.

Oh yeah.

I have not heard, I haven't thought about that.

Yeah, he's pretty ugly.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, act naturally.

Oh yeah, that's great.

That's a good one.

Yeah.

Original copy.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Small crowd.

Oh.

Oh.

I love these.

Me too. They're playful.

Open Secret. Oh, good one. Virtual Reality.

Okay, sure.

And Living Dead. Okay, that's it.

Oh, okay. Well, I love Leanne.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, I loved meeting her too.

Watch that show. It's so funny. I mean, they don't need our help. I noticed it was even recently, it's like number 3 on Netflix, which is fantastic.

Yeah, I saw that too.

Yeah, big success. Exciting.

All right, love you.

Love you.

Love you.