Transcript of E564 Tom Green

I want to let you know we've restocked all your favorites on the merch site. Everything is in stock. You can show up theovanstore. Com. Thank you so much for the support. I have some new tour dates to tell you about. I'll be in Chicago, Illinois on April 24th at the Wind Trust Arena, Fort Wayne, Indiana on April 26th at the Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, and Miami, Florida on May at the Kaseya Center. We also have tickets remaining in East Lansing, Victoria, BC, in the Canada College Station, Belton, Texas, Oxford, Mississippi, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Nashville, Tennessee, Winnipeg in the Canada, and Calgary in the Canada. All tickets at theovan. Com/tour. Today's guest is a comedian. He's an actor, he's a filmmaker, he's an innovator. He's a visual entrepreneur who really laid the blueprint for podcasting and prank shows in all types of genres. He's had one of the most unique and legendary careers in comedy from the Tom Green show on MTV to as many movies like Freddie Got Fingered, Road Trip. He just dropped three new projects on Prime Video, a comedy special, a documentary, and a scripted show. We'll get into all that. We're We're excited to welcome Canada's son, Mr. Tom Reans.

A Tom Green, it's your first day back in LA in four years, did you say? Yeah, it feels good, actually. Yeah, it was weird. I just I moved four years ago. It was a somewhat spontaneous decision. When COVID happened, remember that? Everything stopped. And all of a sudden, I've been touring, and everybody stopped touring, right?

At the beginning. Yeah, everything just stopped.

I'm trying to remember if it was just me that stopped or did everyone stop? Everyone stopped. Yeah. So about the first six months or so of that, I was like, What am I going to do? And then I just The last day, well, I got this. I was telling you about my van. I got this van, and I started going out into the desert and making videos and stuff.

Here outside of LA?

Just outside LA. And I love being out in the desert so much and just waking up in the morning with a cup of coffee and just looking at the sun coming up over the mountains and just the peacefulness of that. Yeah, it's out in the Mahavi desert. That was the first day of the trip, I think four years ago. And so then I just decided to sell my house. I'd been in my house for 18 years. I sold my house and went back to Canada and bought a farm near where my parents live. And just, I can't believe four years went by, but yesterday was the first day back in Los Angeles in the van, we drove back down in the van. So I've been touring with my fiancee who you just met. I have a fiancee now. Went back to Canada. I've got a fiance from Canada now. Yeah, good choice. And we came back in the van and just drove into town yesterday. And it's pretty weird because it feels like I... Nothing's It makes you think about time. Time is weird because I went away for four years and then you come back and I drove past my house that I lived in for almost 20 years.

And now I'm staying in a hotel right down across from where the house is. I can actually see the house from the hotel room. I did that on purpose because I thought it would be weird. I went to Arts Deli. I lived in the Studio City area here. I went to Arts Deli and got my same pastrami sandwich and my chicken noodle soup. And I've been going to some of the same restaurants, just been here for a day. It doesn't feel like it's been four years. It feels like I actually I'm driving here today. I was almost forgot that I didn't live here anymore. I kept thinking, I'll go back to my house after, oh, right. I don't live here anymore. So that's a strange thing. But on the flip side, in the last four years, I've got a farm, which I've now really settled into. I've got these incredible animals, which are now I'm really bonded with, this mule and this donkey and two horses and chickens. It's been an incredible journey the last four years. So Yeah, it's been cool.

Was it something that you always wanted to have? You feel like a farm? I guess every human maybe feels something like that. I'm going to get a little bit of land. I'm going to get some animals. Was it that?

Or was it- No, it's weird because I never really imagined having a mule and riding a mule every day. I didn't grow up with that. I grew up in the suburbs of Ottawa, Canada. I'm outside of Ottawa. A mule is like the El Camino of horses in a way.

It's very much the... You know what I'm saying? It's not me saying, Hey, I'm going to get a horse. It's like, I'm going to get a mule.

Yeah. Initially, I thought it would be funny. Then the mule I happened to find Fanny is her name, and she's this beautiful mule. She's huge animal, and that's Kea, the donkey in the background. It's just become this amazing change. But, yeah, I, I initially I hadn't really thought of necessarily getting a farm with a mule and all this stuff, but I wanted to get a place that was in nature, really was. And then the farm happened to have these old barns on it, and I thought it'd be cool to get a mule in those barns. So I now am very much loving life up there. I get up in the morning and I have a saddle her up and ride off into the wilderness. It's pretty cool.

Really? That's never something that you wanted. That was never like a thing of your whole life. I want to have this thing. It just I mean, I always loved animals.

I have my dog Charlie, and I've always enjoyed being outdoors. But I mean, it just... I know every once in a while, sometimes when an idea pops into your head and then you just go with it and then all of a sudden you've done it. This is like that, except it occurred to me afterwards. As I was doing it, I was realizing I'm going to have this mule for the rest of my life. They live to be... Donkeys live to be up to 40, 50 years old.

Oh my God, really?

He has only three. So it's a lifelong commitment.

The dog could live after you.

Absolutely. She probably will. But I think maybe I was looking for something that would ground me and give me that home base that I needed. This is the first time I've ever lived somewhere where I know I'm going to be there for the rest of my life. I'm planting trees. In 20 years, that tree is going to be... And these trees are going to be bigger, and I'm plotting out things that way.

Yeah, that's interesting. I can totally relate with that and what you're saying about LA. La just feels like this... It's almost like LA doesn't have a memory in it. It feels like... I don't know, other places, I think, especially if it's a place that's a little more grounded, it feels maybe more meaningful for some reason. I don't know. Yeah.

I moved here when I was 28. I think it was 28 or 29 when I moved to LA. I'm 53 now. I loved it. I had a great time here. I wasn't leaving LA because I didn't like LA or anything. It was more I wanted to be close to my parents and they were still doing good, and I wanted to be close to family and stuff. But yeah, it is a unique place for sure. People come here from all over the world to pursue their dreams, and there's an energy there that's exciting. But as I got a little older, I left when I was 50 and not married, no kids, COVID happened. It I've been in my house for 18 years. The real estate market went up. I was like, oh, maybe I should sell it now as opposed to five years ago. I wouldn't have wanted to. So there was a moment in time, maybe I'll sell this place that I've been living in for 20 years, waiting for the right moment to feel like it was time to go. Because I don't know, I felt like I wanted to be back where I grew up.

I mean, you're not from here either. So there's something There's something very, I guess, deep that you feel when you're home. I'm sure you're from Tennessee.

I'm from Louisiana. I live in Tennessee now. Louisiana. But yeah, there's a sense of like... Yeah, Yeah, that you've been out of your soil for a long time.

When you go back to Louisiana, you must feel like, Now I'm at home, right? This home.

Oh, there's definitely a ton of nostalgia that I love. I think it makes sense that a part of you wants to go back where you came into the world at or be there to see people that care about me, see people that I care about. I wonder if you've gotten enough of the adventure out of your system in some ways. You can still have the adventure, but just have it from there. I think also the part like you're saying about this is the first time you'd ever planted plants. You're like, I'll see these. I've always felt like my life was very transient. I was just passing by. I've never been the type of guy to get a lot of furniture or artwork or anything, I'm always just like, I don't know how long I'm going to be here. Here I am in my 40s, and I still operate like that. But at a certain point, it's like, yeah, you want something that's a little bit more settling. If you found a fiancée, I'm sure that helped a little bit.

Yeah, absolutely. Amanda's here. It's her first time in Los Angeles.

Nice. At least you get to be a host and a tour guy.

That's nice. Showing around my old hometown, my new old hometown.

Yeah, and a camper, too, dude.

What was that Yeah, so that's been pretty wild. Because when I got this van, I got pretty good at it, like going to really remote places in the American Southwest, particularly, like in New Mexico, Utah.

Zionan? You go to Zion?

Yeah, I went to Zion. I did camp in Zion, but there's this other land called BLM land. It's Bureau of Land Management land that is basically all of the desert desert and land that is owned by the US government. It's managed by the Bureau of Land Management, and they'll cut roads into the desert, and they'll put camp site areas with fire pits and stuff. They keep it somewhat organized so that people don't go driving all around the desert and trash in the desert. They have these roads and stuff. I got this app. It's called Dyrt, D-Y-Y-R-T. It's basically an app that gives you all the different locations of these really obscure places that are not even in national parks or anything.

D-u-i-r-t?

Yeah. And so it like you find stuff that is just unbelievable. I can't stop talking about it to people that don't know about it, but you may know about Chaco Canyon, but I'd never heard of it before. It's in New Mexico. And in fact, if you go to my last YouTube video on my YouTube channel, that's just a video I shot a couple of days ago. And you can scroll down to the second video. Go to the second video. This is Chaco Canyon. So this is Native American ruins that are essentially built in the year 875. It's a city. It's like a city in the desert, and it's just out there in the middle of Northern New Mexico. This is Amanda, my fiance, Amanda. Yeah, I think so. We're just going around making these videos, but you'll See, look at this place. So it's like everyone always talks about Machu Picchu in Peru, and they talk about all these incredible things in ancient places. But the fact that you can just drive out of Albuquerque, drive north to Albuquerque.

Wow, this is there?

Yeah, this is there. It's really remote. It's on the Navajo Nation land. We just were out there camping for four nights and exploring and hiking off into this beautiful desert.

Getting some good rest out there. Do you get good rest when you're out on the road?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. God, that's nice. It's nice. It's quiet.

That's the tough thing to get, man.

It's cooking on the campfire, and it's just been fun. I enjoy photography.

You're shooting this really, really well.

Yeah, I got lots of different cameras and stuff, and I like to do that. There's something about shooting out in the desert that's just so beautiful because you have these long horizons and big open spaces. And there's an energy there that is just something that's hard to put your finger on. But I never really maybe didn't even believe in that when I was younger, when people would talk about the energy, and Sedona has got this energy. But I feel this energy out there. That's just the people that live there that built that place and other places like it. So it's fun to go seek those places out.

Yeah, you'll meet a lot of women, you're like, I never have a period when I'm in Sedona or whatever. You're like, Well, what are we talking? You know what I'm saying? But there's some crazy- You've met a lot of women that have said that? I just think you meet a lot of women who are- Very specific thing for a lot of people to have said. A lot of women are keeping crystals in the wrong places, probably. But you meet a lot of people who are into that thing. But I think that's probably like... I mean, the natives, it always feels to me like the natives are probably so in touch, more in touch with the Earth and locked in on the feeling of the best places to be. That's why they love to be in the Dakotas and in the Black Hills and stuff like that. To be able to go to one of those ruins, I bet there's still a lot of prehistoric or native connection that's just looking for souls to pass through.

What you just said is really interesting because I was talking to basically an archeologist the other day, and he said exactly what you just said. There's this thing called an intuitive archeology where they go because there's still stuff out in the desert that people haven't even found yet. It's how big it is and how vast it is. They go out into these canyons in Northern Arizona and Utah looking for signs of ancient settlements and stuff. They're taught to intuitive archeology. If you're in a place that feels like it would be a nice place to have lived, a beautiful place, There's a good chance that feeling is correct, and then you should listen to that instinct and start looking for signs of ancient civilization. But it's pretty amazing because you do feel something out there. I don't know. I was talking about this friend the other day, too. You ever go in an old comedy club that's been like Zanies in Nashville or downtown Chicago is an old club. You see all the old pictures from the comics from back in the '70s and '80s. You know that club has been there forever, and you feel the energy of...

You see a lot of comics that have passed away on the wall, and you say, oh, my God, do I have Sam and performed here. I can feel that energy of the performance in the room. That's from 40 years ago or whatever, but now you take it back to the year 875, you're out in the desert. This place, Chaco Canyon, was a whole society where they did trading and people came from all over North America there. It's a very peaceful thing. I do enjoy it quite a bit.

Is that something that you and your fiancé have... Is that something you guys have found you like doing together? Because to go camping, a lot of people would end up getting separated, usually, I feel like.

This is her first time Well, actually really coming throughout a lot of the United States, too. She's from Canada and hasn't been out to the desert before. But we're having fun. We're having fun out there, but This is our first trip doing this, so it's been cool.

Was it scary to get engaged? Because you've been married before.

Briefly, I was briefly married. It was a long time ago, too.

You hadn't been married since, though?

No. Okay. It was the first time engaged since. No, it was not scary because- Because that was Drew Barrymore, right?

It was early 2000s or something?

Yeah, absolutely. But no, it wasn't scary because The demand is amazing. I knew it was the right thing. This was the thing to do. This had to be done.

That feels like the hard decision. Yeah, I think that's the thing. I would like to get married, and I'm just thinking, Man, that day when you're All right, I guess I'm going to get married today. That sounds crazy when I say that out loud.

You're a young guy, too. To think that. There was a lot of things that happened that... I don't know if you want to talk about... I'm talking a lot about energy, but coincidences and synchronicity and things like this. I moved back to Canada, and I have a pond on my property, and in the winter, it freezes over. I shoveled the snow off the pond, and I was playing hockey on the on the pond, like skating, playing hockey on the pond. I shot a video of that and put it up on the social media. There we go. Wow, that's beautiful. Yeah. Here we are out at the pond. Wow, you got a fast guy on the draw out there on the... I just literally just said that, and he instantly found... We're drilling a hole in the pond here, and then we can pump the water out of that back on top of the pond and give it a nice smooth Icy. That's my friend Ryan.

Wait, so what are you using here to do this? This is a...

It's just a little an ice auger or some sort.

Okay, so you take the hole and then you pump the water out.

Then we got a pump, we just stick a fire hose down in there and we pump water out of it. We pump it up on top of the ice and just basically flood the ice, and then it freezes because at night, and then we got some nice smooth ice out there.

How long does that process take?

Just a day. This just took a day. The next morning, it was completely frozen. But then you get two feet of snow, and then you got to do it all over again, which puts a damper on it.

Wow, this is so cool. That right there that you're on is a lake.

It's a pond. It's a pond, yeah.

Okay, so that's a pond. There's the dock. Usually, it's water. Yeah. Right now, you cut the holes, you're pumping the water out of the pond onto the top of the ice, which is on the top of the pond. Yeah.

Then it gets cold. It's below zero. Then the next morning, it was pretty much ready to... Now, normally, you would shovel it off first, but we're a little a little lazy about that, I guess, and we just flooded it instead, which it ended up working out fine. But it probably would have been better if we shoveled it off first, but that seems like that would have been a lot of work. Yeah, you don't even do that. There you go. See? Then So we were doing this, and then I was shooting these videos playing hockey. There we go.

This is the next day?

Yeah, it's probably the next day. No way.

This is a common practice in Canada?

Well, if you have a pond, those are the barns in the background. That's my house up there, behind there. We used to do it in my backyard when I was a kid. We used to flood the backyard.

Yeah, Gretzky talked about that. When he was on it, he talked about flood in his backyard.

That's cool. That's amazing. Pretty cool. The great one. Yeah.

I saw him at the inauguration. He lost a tooth.

Okay. It fell out. At the inauguration, he lost a tooth.

Yeah, I chipped my tooth, and I walked up to him and I was like, Man, I chipped my tooth, and he's like, Oh, yeah, and he showed me this, and he freaking lost one. Him and his wife were looking for it on the ground.

Okay, but it had been knocked out previously in a hockey game of some sort.

Yeah, something like that.

You didn't get punched out at the inauguration. No.

I think he could have been shocked by something he saw. Maybe that took it out. But yeah, he was just missing a grill piece at the inauguration. It was just pretty bizarre.

Man, that's cool.

Dude, that's amazing. These are the types of things you're spending time doing up there. You really document it really beautifully. A lot of that doesn't even have a lot of audio with it. It's really just seeing. I've noticed in some of your videos, it's just seeing what's going on.

Yeah, I like to just do these ambient things to just bring you into a certain place. It's like photography. This is just doing it with video and being there. But after I posted that video, Amanda, my fiance, she saw it and she sent me a message on Instagram. This is how we met. It was a video of a Zambooney, a do it yourself Zambooney, which is a Zamboanie is what you use to clean off the ice in a hockey rink, right? It was this homemade one. And we I just started talking to her because I thought it was a funny thing to send. It turns out we went to the same elementary school. It just went from there.

Cool. Congratulations.

Yeah. Thanks, man.

Did you meet your parents yet or no? Oh, yeah, absolutely. She did.

Yeah, absolutely.

Were your parents happy to have you back home? What was that like?

No, they are for sure. No hesitation. They were excited for me to come home, believe it or not, because sometimes people wonder because I used to do a lot of pranks on them. Do they still talk to you? But my parents, we were always very close. Even when I was doing my show on MTV and doing pranks on them and annoying them with the video camera, they would laugh afterwards. We've always had a very close relationship. They're actually in my new show on Prime. It's about me moving home. Shows about me moving home.

That's not the I Got A Mule. That's not that.

That's my stand A Standard Special.

Okay, that's the stand-up special. That's on Prime as well right now. Yeah.

There's a documentary on Prime and then the show called Tom Green Country. There they are. It's about me settling in at the farm. They're hilarious. I mean, they really make the show. There's something about Their sense of humor is... They're razzing me in the new show more than me pulling pranks on them. I don't do that anymore. Full circle. They've retired from being pranked.

From being a victim?

Yeah, absolutely.

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You ever able to figure any of that out, the reasoning behind some of it? Why you liked capturing things or why you liked pulling the wool over people's...

Yeah, I think there was a few layers to that for sure. That's a cool question. It's a great question because One thing was we never really had a video camera. I grew up in the '80s, so we didn't have a video camera or even a film camera. We didn't even take a lot of photos. It was expensive. People that had a video camera, they had a lot of money, they had a video camera. We never had a video camera. When all of a sudden they became somewhat attainable, I would sign out at school. I found that it was a... First of all, I love comedy. I loved David Letterman. I love watching him go out in the street and do stuff. I loved Monty Python and just SCTV. I just love comedy. I was doing stand-up comedy in Ottawa when I was 16 years old, and I would go down to watch Norm Donald in his 20s. It was this amazing thing. I somehow had this feeling that if I could just get a video camera and go film stuff that maybe I could make a show or whatever. But there's also a skateboarder, and that was skateboarding videos where, holy shit, look at this.

This is amazing. How did you find that so fast? Yeah, there are me at 16 years old. Yuck, yucks. How did you find that so fast? I don't even know. You must have had that in advance. That is unbelievable. There's some weird algorithm here or something like that.

I don't know if they did or not, but yeah, it looks great. Wow. Yeah, it looks so...

Look at that microphone, too. It's like, they didn't even use the right microphone back then. I often think there's something about... I don't know. I think I've always been really afraid of the concept of being dead, being gone, and there being no recollection of anything that you've ever done. I always found it interesting to just document things and just record things, and that'll be there in some electronic way floating around there forever. It feels in a little way like a weird immortality in a way. I think that's what fascinates me about these ruins in the desert, too. These people came and built these things in the year 875, and I'm walking through it and looking at it and filming it and talking about it with you. And so they're in a way remembered. And then there was also just the blatant... When I was younger, I was quite a bit different than I am now. I think I've calmed down quite a bit. When I was younger, I really always needed to be the center of attention, the class clown, moving around a lot was weird as a kid. To me, it seemed like a really good way of just documenting all of this silliness.

I loved it. I loved filming stuff and showing it to people at school.

You captured so much. You were one of the first people, really, to just capture shit and just show it to people. Not shit, but just...

Yeah, no shit for Sure, yeah. Actually, actual shit was involved quite a bit.

Yeah, we're going to capture shit and show it to you. What do you mean? This is what we mean. I can totally relate to what you said about, dude, I used to, when I was, I guess, probably turning around 20 to probably 28. I would make postcards, and I would send them to my kids that weren't even born yet. Whenever I was traveling somewhere, I would send them, I would make them out to my kids. I just wanted my kids to know that I needed I wanted there to be some record that I cared about my children, even though they weren't here yet, which is a crazy thing, but it made me think about what you're saying. I would scrapbook, I would save things. I just wanted there to be some proof that I felt something in the world and that I existed. I think I just didn't... I don't know if I just didn't have a lot of that, or I needed an insane amount of proof, and so that's why I did it. But I could definitely relate to that, to wanting to have some timeline. Just in case time ever showed up and said, Hey, were you here?

I could be, Well, yes, here I was. I could show you my homework or something.

Absolutely. I can relate to that because I talk a little bit in my stand-up special about not having kids. I sometimes think it's a bit of a message to my future children that that I'm aware that I haven't had them yet. And so I totally understand what you're saying about that. It's a weird thing because 20 years ago, nobody I had, definitely 30 years ago, nobody had video cameras really like they do now. But now everybody with their phones, everything documented. It's so normal now, but I just put this documentary out on Prime, which is It's called This is the Tom Green Documentary. It's a play in my old theme song of my show. This is the Tom Green Show. It was the song, right? Yeah. I went through thousands of hours of video. I'm going back looking at 17-year-old me running around doing stuff. It was actually a pretty somewhat terrifying experience, actually, because it was this opportunity to tell the story of everything that happened with my show and everything that happened with my experience here in LA. I wanted to tell the story right. I've got so much video And combing through all of it was at times somewhat like I would be looking at myself like I'm looking at a completely different person, and I can't even believe I'm finding things I don't even remember happening, and I'm looking at things that are just so completely bonkers and silly and ridiculous.

I'm like, whoa. Sometimes I couldn't look at the TV. I'm like, oh my what was I doing?

That's how you made us feel.

Yeah, exactly. I was doing it to myself 20 years, 30 years later. No, I wouldn't recommend it to anybody to go make a documentary about yourself. Definitely hire somebody to do that. Never watch it. But no, it was fun because I wanted to tell the story the right way. But But it was also very surreal.

Was it hard to be true to yourself making your own documentary? No one should probably make your documentary except for you because you're one of the rare cases it feels like that has so much... Has documented themselves so much. I don't even know if it... I don't know if it seemed like an egotistical way. I don't think it ever came across like that. Of your footage, it just came across that you wanted to have control over of yourself. You wanted to put yourself out there. But was it hard to make a documentary and not want to make yourself the hero or something? I've never made a documentary before. Was there any of that in it? Or how do I make this?

It's like the first scene of the documentary I'm sitting with my mother and she actually says, Are you really supposed to direct a documentary about yourself? Can't you whitewash that a little bit? Are you going to do that? Yeah, I'm going to do that. But honestly, I wanted to be I wanted to be... I didn't not want to completely put a false story out there. So I think the hardest part was trying to figure out how to not be too self-deprecating. Because you When you get to my age, you look back and you think, Oh, my God, I wish I hadn't done that, or I wish I hadn't done that, or I shouldn't have said that, or I shouldn't have done that. And I have a lot of those things, right? They're constantly rattling around in my head. And you start to think like, Man, maybe this is a good way for me to go and just apologize for everything that I perceived that I've done wrong in my life, right? And then you have to take a step back and go, Well, wait a minute. That might just be in my head. So I spent a lot of time talking to a lot of people about people that I know, people I'm close with, about the story of...

Really, it's the story of the show and takes us through the story of creating the show and then building before the show with my music and then after the show with building a web TV studio here in Los Angeles. It's a telling of that Sorry. But then I wanted to talk a bit about some of the personal things that I went through. I had cancer when I was on MTV and I talked about that. I made this movie, Freddie Got Fingered, was not critically completely embraced. I wanted to explain myself a bit, but then at the same time, there's a lot of people now that like the movie, believe it or not. So I didn't want to completely-And hate the critics now. Yeah. So it's like it was a very tricky balancing act. Then on top of that, there's just so much footage and so many weird little funny clips that only I know are the ones that people like or people have or haven't seen. I wanted to make sense of that all and piece it all together. I don't think anyone else would have been able to find it all.

Was there a project that you wanted to do over the years that you didn't really nail or you didn't... That something that didn't happen? Was there something? Because you've just done so much stuff.

It's interesting because... In fact, that's part of what the documentary is about. Because when I got into making the show, when I was growing up, all I could even imagine myself doing was I wanted to be a talk show host. I wanted to do basically a show like David Letterman. Have guests on, and then I go out in the street and be a nutcase, do goofy stuff. I got to do that a few times over the years. When those shows go away, Initially, when that happened, that was back in the day of MTV. The first show I stopped when I got sick, so it didn't actually get canceled, the Tom Green show. But then when I did a nightly show, when it got canceled, I was thinking, Oh, my gosh, this is the worst thing that could ever happen to me that I could ever imagine that I'm not going to be able to do a nightly talk show. This was devastating to me. As As time marches on and I look at all the things that I've done instead, touring, doing stand-up or moving back to the farm and everything in between, I realized, I'm glad that actually didn't work out because if that show had been a big hit, then I would have been going down to the same studio every night for the last 30 years and I wouldn't have gotten to do all these other things.

Freddie got fingered, of course, was an idiotic movie, purposefully so.

Yeah. Did you guys make that yourselves?

Yeah, I wrote it with my friend, Derek, and I directed it.

Was it your first time you'd ever directed a movie? It was, yeah.

Wow. It was. But we had a budget. It was 20th Century Fox because the show was doing good on MTV, so they let me direct it. They let me do that, which was probably a mistake. But no, we really pushed it to make it like We were in our 20s. So the idea was, let's make this the craziest movie ever made. It's literally we actually believe that we could do something like that. It gets complicated because then how do you define failure. It came out, Roger Ebert, and it wasn't Cisco, it was the other guy. He had another guy there.

Oh, yeah, the second street. Ebert Roper. Yeah, Ebert Roper. They sent that guy in.

Yeah, even he didn't like it. He didn't? Even Roper didn't like it. It wasn't even Cisco. It was Roper, whoever that guy was. But they trashed it. You're thinking at the time, Man, this is devastating. Ebert and Roper are trash in my film. You think, Oh, you start to question every choice you've made.

I don't know. This guy looks like he also likes canned sardines at the same time. These days, nobody even trusts the critics anyway. It's funny now that it's like...

Yeah. At the time, it was the end of the line if these guys trashed your movie. Oh, yeah. It's like my first movie and all this stuff riding on it, and then these come on, just destroyed it. I remember just sitting there watching this, just thinking, Oh, my gosh, this is it. This is the end. But it wasn't. I just kept going, kept doing my thing, and you look back at it and go, it's funny now that they didn't like it.

Yeah, it's awesome that they didn't.

It's weird because there's a weird counterintuitiveness to it because we set to make a movie that those guys would not like, and then when they don't like it, you're upset about it. It's like, I thought that they would see the irony and go, I know we're not supposed to like this, but actually this kid's pretty clever. No, they didn't say that.

What was the budget on that movie? Do you remember?

$14 million they spent on that. Plus an additional 10 on promotion and marketing and stuff. You know what? I will say it made it all back on DVD. Remember DVD? Remember they used to put DVDs out. I think I heard it made 35 million on DVD. Actually, it was a profitable movie. Made 14 million at the box. I'm here defending it now. It made us money back. No, it looked like that. It made us money back. No, but it did. It did make us money back, but Ebert and Roper aren't going to tell you that, though. They're not going to tell you that.

Well, it wasn't the Titanic.

No, exactly. I mean, it was in a way, but in the sense that it bombed. But no, it was It's funny, though, because- It's cool that you did it, though. There was a long period of time there where I was made to feel like it was a really bad decision. Then in the last 10 years, it's like, all I hear are people saying they love it. Someone today showed me they had an X-ray cat tattoo, like it's a character in the movie. It is a little confusing when you talk about... I mean, your question was, how do you handle things like failure and things like that? It's like, The more of those things you go through, the more you learn to embrace it in a way. It's almost a good thing.

Yeah, David Smith and I just wrote a movie together, not to name drop or anything, but we did, and we just funded ourselves and stuff. It's just a scary time, I think. That's why I'm asking that as well. Not scary, it's exciting, too. But it's also like, yeah, I just... One day I'll be like, that's something I tried to do. I was trying to be creative and we tried our best, I got to try it with somebody who I love to watch anyway.

That's cool. You've written it? Are you going to go make the movie?

We have five days left shooting.

Oh, you're shooting the movie already?

We shoot. We start back tomorrow.

Kind of like a Joe Dirt 2, 3 thing?

Yeah, it's like... No, it's a good question. It's like two guys, one of them gets hit by a vehicle. My character gets hit by a car when he's young, and Spade rescues me. He and I become friends in, and he gets me a job. Years later, we're working together at a sewage company.

Oh, nice. Repo man thing.

Yeah, type of shit.

Well, the thing is that you're in good hands here because you're with a guy that's done this a lot before. He's done it a lot. It's a season.

If I had to direct it, too, I like to chime in with the director and stuff like that and throw in ideas and stuff like that. But it's just definitely a big learning curve. It's a lot. I can't imagine, especially in our budget, it's just a couple of million bucks. If it were really big, that'd be really... I feel like it'd be scary.

Yeah. Back then, we were shooting on film. Things cost more. It was, at the time, was considered a low budget movie. But I think that it just seems like the way things get released these days and the way people embrace weirdness these days, I'm assuming it's a A weird movie.

Yeah, it's odd. Yeah, it's just funny. It's just like old-school funny.

Yeah. So like a funny movie, right? You have this incredible thing going with your show here, so you have your audience built in, so you don't really have to worry about the same things that maybe back in the day when you put out something crazy and in a sea of somewhat normal movies coming out every weekend, all getting funneled through this mainstream cinema This conglomerate. It's very strange. We had to take the movie and focus group it. Then people would sit there with pads. It was in Phoenix. We flew down to Phoenix to focus group Freddie Got Fingered.

That's where they do a lot of them, huh?

Yeah. For some reason they do them there in Phoenix. Then someone stands up after the movie and asks them what they didn't like about the movie. Well, Freddie got fingered. I mean, we're supposed to not like any of these scenes. You're supposed to be polarizing. So it didn't really work with the focus group system, and then you had to make changes to it and all that stuff. But you guys probably have a lot more creative control over things.

I think we'll just make a trailer and put it It's all about the help. I'm guessing I have no idea. Part of my brain hasn't even gotten to that thought yet.

That's exciting.

But it definitely feels… Yeah, it feels just like, well, we tried to do it. Who knows what It's going to happen.

It's going to be awesome. Absolutely. You and Spade, I'm going to go see that. That's incredible. Well, thanks.

I appreciate it, man.

Everybody will. Everybody's going to love that.

It's going to be interesting. That's what I'll say. That's what I do. I do believe that it'll be interesting. Of course it will. How did you deal whenever there were tough times? Because you had so much of recording yourself, like living under your own recording schedule and stuff like that. Were there days off, like when you would just have your show from home? Was there where you would just take off? What was that shoot schedule like when you were...

When I was doing the web show at home? Yeah. Well, there wasn't really podcasting yet wasn't really a thing, really. We built the studio, and it would basically just stream to my website. I mean, there was no Instagram yet. Youtube had just started, and people would come and I watched it on the front page of tomgreen. Com. And we actually had a company in San Francisco that made the video playback system. So it was a CDN, Content Distribution Network. So we would upload a video to that. We weren't uploading it to YouTube and linking it or there was no YouTube, really. So it was just a big science experiment that I was doing with my group of friends. I had the goal of trying to make it a show that would become profitable, get advertisers and maybe sell it to television, which we did a little bit of that. So I was pretty driven, I guess. And it's what I notice now with podcasting, which is amazing, is the people that have these incredible businesses that they've got going, these incredible artistic visions they have for themselves. They all have that same drive in them.

They get up in the morning, their mind is just like, How are we going to make this better today? How are we going to make this today. So it was like that. We were getting up and turning on the studio every night, and I did be inviting up rappers, and Too Short came up, and Jurassic and Xibit, and then you'd wrap up, invite comedians up, and Joe Rogan would come over, and Norm McDonald, who I became good friends with, would start coming over all the time. And literally hundreds and hundreds of people would come over, and it became this really fun thing to do. I wasn't doing stand-up at the time. I hadn't done stand-up in years, so I was really just doing that. It It was ridiculous. We were just enjoying the absurdity of it. Oh, yeah.

Was it so stressful?

Or were you just- It was because I put pressure on myself and I would actually get stressed out about it. Then we would have people that would prank call us. I had this phone system on the desk and you could just call it and it would ring and I'd hit answer. We had people trolling us, basically. I remember getting Rick rolled for the first time. It was like, Oh, I felt like, I don't know if I'd never heard of Rick rolling before I got Rick rolled. It's cool. It became a little bit of a game, like where we were. There was a switch that I'd built with Bill Snitzer was his name. He worked there, and Victor, a couple of the guys that worked there. We built the switch under the desk. It was like metal. It was like we got a metal box with a switch and we had wires, and we soldered them together, and then the wires ran out to the computer. Then Bill was able to program the computer so that when I flipped that switch, it would... If everything was off, it's the middle of the night in my house.

It's quiet night, nobody there. And if I were to get up at one o'clock in the morning by myself and put clown makeup on, which I often did, and a top hat, and walk out into my living room and flick the switch, the switch would turn on the lights, it would It would turn on the cameras, it would turn on the computers. This computer would tell this computer to start recording. The phone system would turn on. It would send it to the front page of my website. Just one switch. I haven't done anything. All I've done is put on some clown makeup and flipped the switch, right? You don't have to put on the clown makeup, but I did do that often. Yeah, you bet. It was called the French Clown of Midnight. I'd speak in French in a clown makeup. You wonder why it didn't work out. Then the phone would start ringing and I'd just be doing the show. I'd have a switcher on the desk so I could switch the cameras and I would just start taking calls. It was really the only live video on the internet. Really, there was no Instagram Live or anything.

When I was a kid, I wanted to do, I like prank calling the radio station. I like to call into the radio station. And I would call into the radio station and I'd record it. And then I'd call into the radio station and I'd pretend I was like my friend's father and I'd call in, I'd start complaining about my son, and I'd use his name, and I'd play the tape back to him, and it was hilarious to me. I loved that, like pranking a radio station. I started to realize, we're the only live show on the internet right now with a phone with no call screener. All these people like me around the world could now call in and prank me. We got into this little war, basically, which was fun because I would get angry about it, but then also I didn't have to turn the phone on. It was really fun. I got to meet a lot of great people. That's where I really got to hang out with Joe Rogan for the first time, really, and Norm, who I became really close with, and so many other people. It was amazing.

Did Norm... Did you talk to him much in the later years?

Well, at the very end, I did not know that he was sick. I didn't know he was sick. So that was...

It seemed like he kept that from everybody.

Yeah. And he's from my hometown. He's from Ottawa, Canada. He started at the same Comedy Club that I started at Yuck Yucks in Ottawa. Howard Wagman, who still owns the Comedy Club in Ottawa. Yuck Yucks, which is all across Canada. It's like the improv of Canada.

I've heard of it. I've been on one of them, I think.

Yeah. He's awesome. He put Norm on the stage for the first time and tells his story about how Norm got off stage the very first time he did stand up. He was in his 20s and he didn't think he did well and he was walking down the street. I'm never going to do that again. Howard chased him down Spark Street in Ottawa and stopped and said, You got to come back tomorrow. And you made him come back because he saw his genius, right?

Yeah, nobody was like him. They were just talking about him. I just watched the SNL monolog that he did one time that was pretty great where he's like, They fired me from the show, but now they want me back. And how it just didn't even make any sense, and you just shit on the show. It was weird.

Because it's weird. I find myself sometimes now talking about 2005, like it was 50 years ago or something like that. But it really is, things have changed so much in the last 20 years with social media that it does really feel like a different world. I remember Norm would come up, and the first time he came up, I just couldn't believe I was going to hang out with him. And hang out with him for two hours on camera, in some ways doing a make believe talk show, even though there were people watching, it was like experimental talk show, and he was getting into that. And then the show would end and we'd go on YouTube and go look at videos. I remember it was like YouTube was so new that it was just the strangest thing. I'd be sitting with Norm McDonald after doing this for two hours, and we sitting there watching crazy clips that he would find, like Baby versus Cobra, with the Cobra's mouth sewed together. Those are good. Yeah. Grape Lady Falls. I remember watching these videos with Norm and just dying of laughter in the middle of the night and just thinking, this is cool.

Now, it's just so normal to look at viral videos and stuff. But back then we thought we were just... Have you ever seen this video? I've never seen this. Oh, man. I mean, it's a little bit... Can you play the audio, too? Is it possible? Because the audio is important for this one. These are filled with Chamberson grapes.

The winner this Saturday is Stum Music, eating international foods, having wine tours and tasting, vineyard tours, seminars, arts and crafts. It's a lot of fun, a whole day. Stop. I can't breathe. Stop.

I can't breathe. Stop. I can'tOh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're struggling not to let you hear.

I hope she was-That lady has a smallest head as well. If people's heads are real small, they She should not talk a lot.

I love that. That's your takeaway for this, her head size as well. It is true, though, by the way, I'd never noticed that.

That lady is a very small head. When people with small heads talk a lot, it feels like they're cheating the system a little bit. I just feel like a regular head, you get a regular amount of words. Small head, less words, don't do too much.

Or at least just talk in the amount of words that your head should justify, your head that I should justify. Yes.

Don't be a crazy little head just doing a bunch. I dated a girl one time for a while with a small head, beautiful girl, great girl, but knew when to talk, when not to talk. You wouldn't see her just yammering on like some big head. Did you notice right away that she had a particularly small head, or was that something that dawned on you later? She had big hair, big Italian-ish hair. Every now and then I would feel her head, and I was like, Oh, I feel like there should be a little more head here.

Yeah. Once he got under the hair, it was puffed out, probably purposefully. We probably knew that her head was small.

It was an espion, it was a mirage.

Yeah. Hiding it a little bit.

Yeah, and you'd see it.

Probably a little self-conscious of it. Yeah, could have been.

But yeah, cool girl, small hair, but knew how to use it, right? Yeah. Not somebody that was ambivalent to their head size and just running around just squawking at the moon every chance they get. This is pretty wild that Morgan & Morgan has just filed a first-of-its-kind lawsuit against food industry behemoths. That's the truth. The lawsuit alleges that these companies engineer their ultra-processed food products to be addictive and market those products towards children, allegedly causing chronic disease in children. The complaint details the strategic and calculated actions that these companies allegedly took to target children with addictive ultra-processed foods, including internal memos, strategic meetings, and the extensive research they allegedly conducted to leverage our biology and neurology to create addictive substances. We've all been hearing for years and maybe speculating that a lot of ultra-processed foods could be addictive. I just think it's fascinating to finally see this possibility coming to light. Morgan and Morgan is committed to fighting for the people and for the families. If your child has been diagnosed with one of these diseases, you may have legal options. They've helped thousands of families seek justice against big corporations, and they're ready to fight for you, too.

Learn more at forthepeople. Com/theo. That's F-O-R-Thepeople. Com/t-h-e-o. What did I do? Oh, yeah, I just went to the SNL50th. That's what you said.

Oh, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, I know. Was that incredible? It was cool.

You got to host it.

I did. I know. That's amazing. I was on tour. I wasn't able to go. I would have loved to have gone to that. That must have been wild. I went to the 40th, and I remember that was... That is just the most It was a real thing. If it's anything, I imagine it was, everybody is there, right?

Yeah, I guess go to the music night, and then I'm buddies with Louis CK. He took me to Chris Rock's birthday party. Oh, nice. On Saturday night, which was crazy because Chris Rock was always my favorite comedian growing up. Just to even be able to be there, I definitely felt out of place or whatever, but it was also cool just to fly on the wall there.

Did you do really actually feel out of place there? Yeah, 100%. Why do you think that is?

It feels fancy. I could tell right when I saw Chris Rock, how I felt. Some people, you don't get nervous on them, or you've seen him a couple of times, and so there becomes a little bit ambiance, but I just didn't know him. I think that created some of the nervous energy. Some other people I did know, so it wasn't that bad, but I got introduced to people that I didn't know. You're always like, I don't know. I don't usually say a lot then. I'll just be a listener.

See, I get like that, too, and I wish I didn't. This social anxiety when you're in an environment like that where there's just all these people that you admire and respect and around you and everybody. I don't even feel like myself. It's a very stressful thing for me. So in some ways, I was... That's a good word.

Stressful.

Yeah. And I don't know why that is. Why is that?

Well, I think it's because you're a little bit probably... I don't know how I fit in this circle. There's a lot of circles in the world where I get- But you're on top of the world right now.

You just interviewed the President in the United States. I mean, everybody, you've got this incredible show. I'm sure everybody was super excited to see you there, so you probably don't really have any reason to feel nervous, but you still do, right?

Yeah, I guess. I hadn't been in that circle before. It's like, I guess, when you're in a... I don't know, when you're in... Just feel like you're in a new water, you're figuring You're not the temperature. You don't want to make a lot of noise at somebody's birthday party. They are seeing friends that they know it's not a huge group of people. You just want to... You don't want to overstay your welcome type type of energy. I don't need to tell a big story. They know each other. I'm just happy to be here, happy to be able to see somebody celebrate their birthday, to witness people that I admire from a little bit of a way, from a little closer than I'm usually allowed to get to them online or on TV, I guess. But the SNL thing was we went to the music. They had a music show. A radio city? Yeah. That's the part that I got to go to, and that was pretty cool. Just seeing different bands, Jolly Roll performed, and so I know him. Nice. I got to bring a friend, and so I knew my buddy was... We were just milling around, running into some people that we knew and meeting some new people, but it was pretty chill.

You went to the inauguration, too, right?

Yeah, I went to the So when you go to the inauguration and you've already...

Now, you know the President of the United States because you had this interview with him. Yeah. Do you get to hang out with him at the inauguration?

No, I didn't see any of them. I was in the second second tier of humans there or something. There was a first tier, and then I was in a second tier of humans that were there.

But that's got to be still interesting, nonetheless, to be there.

It was interesting, very interesting, because Whatever. You don't even know if the process is real. You see it on TV, it's like, who knows if that shit's real? Who knows if it's real anymore? So to witness that was pretty cool. Just to be in Washington, DC is always pretty neat with all the architecture. But I don't know Trump like that. I'll message with his daughter sometimes, Ivanka. So I'm able to communicate with her. What do you guys talk about? She'll just send me a book that she thinks I would like. When we went to dinner one time, she's so smart. It's mind-blowing. Yeah.

You go to dinner with her a lot?

No, I went one time.

That's pretty cool. Was her husband, Jared, there, or was it just you two?

He wasn't. It was other friends of hers.

Okay. I'm not trying to break any news here, but it sounds interesting. Not at all.

I wish there were news to break, dude. She's stunning. She's awesome. Then there's a middleman who worked with the, I guess, he worked with the Republican Party, and he got to invite some people. It was just a motley group of strange people that went to the inauguration.

How did that work? Can I ask you questions? Yeah, sure. When he came on your show, it was right before the election, and he was doing a lot of podcasts and stuff. Did they approach you or did they call to you? His son is a fan of your show, right?

Is that what it is? Yeah, that's what he said. He said, Aaron was a fan of the show, and I tried to get to see Aaron, but I didn't get to meet him.

So he just got a call one day and Trump wanted to come on the show?

Well, I'd met Trump a couple of times at UFC. Okay, yeah. Ufc, I think, had everything to do with winning the election, probably for the Republicans. Yeah. Because Dana White is just such a facilitator. He just gets things done. He kept his sport going while all the other sports were shut down. A lot of them were shut down or having to practice really intense methods during COVID. He was able to keep his sport going. He brought Trump to a lot of his events because they've been friends for a long time. I'd met him there a couple of times. Then I knew his brother died of alcoholism, so I was like, Well, let me call him and let me ask Dana if Trump would ever talk about his brother. I didn't know about it. Just to see what he's like. Is he just all business guy? Does he think about other things? Because you don't hear a lot about his feelings, Trump's feelings. If you do, he doesn't communicate it in a way where it's very emotional to people, I don't feel like. I was just curious about that. I called up Dana and he said, We'll make it happen.

Then two days later, he called back and he said, All good. Somebody from his group is going to reach out to you.

You went to him, right?

We went to him, up in New Jersey. We would have loved to have Harris and Walls on. We're still trying to get Walls on. We tried to get Harris on even after the election, but they just didn't want to come. It was a bummer because I think- It seems like that was a pretty big mistake.

They didn't go in a lot of the shows.

Yeah, I think it would just let them be more normal. I think people are if something's too much behind the glass these days, people don't trust the glass. I don't even think that they don't trust the person behind the glass. I think they just don't trust the fucking glass, if that makes any sense.

Yeah. No, It does.

Yeah. I guess that was all interesting. I'm out of sorts with the way that they're handling the Gaza-Palestine stuff. That shit really, I think, is insane to me. But that's just... I don't know. That's just my thoughts.

It's endless quagmire you can find yourself in once you start talking politics.

When you get in it too much, I agree.

In this world we're living in now because it's like you go on the road, you do stand up all around the country and everybody's divided in a way, right? And then you start firmly choosing a side, and all of a sudden, half the audience doesn't want to have any fun anymore. More. So it's like, we find we got to make these choices now. Like, okay, well, do I want to give my opinion anymore about what's going on in the world? And then you have to choose one of the the set of opinions that are on this side or the set of opinions that are all evenly and neatly put on this side. And as soon as you state your opinion about one of these issues that just happens to be on this side, then anybody that doesn't agree with you no longer wants to that wants to fuck with you and come to your show or have a good time or have a laugh with you. So it's just such a shitty thing to have to deal with that, right? Yeah. So how do you juggle that? Because as a Canadian, it's like right now in Canada, people are pretty upset with Donald Trump because he's putting these tariffs on Canada, right?

And saying they're going to make us a 51st state.

Saying they're going to annex Canada.

People aren't too happy about the idea of being taken over by the United States of America, doesn't it? It's not something that people are super excited about hearing. So you go... It's funny because sometimes I think, well, I think a lot of Americans who don't think about it that much might think like, oh, Canada is going be the 51st state. I bet you everyone in Canada must be really excited about being the 51st state of the United States. But I'm saying, well, no, it'll probably be the first state in America that nobody in it wants to be America. Because we've got our own country. It's not that we don't love America. I love America, but we have our entire different culture. You go to Canada all the time, right?

Yeah, I love it. And I'm glad it's Canada.

We're different, right? It's a different thing.

Yeah, it's different. You're nice to have people Somebody will walk across the street in Canada and just come tell you they're sorry and then go back across the street and then nothing even happened. They're not even- They just came off just to apologize. There's no even. You've never seen them before. But Canada is the best I think Canada gives me hope for humanity a lot of times. It's good people. I love Canada. I wish that there's times I wanted to be Canadian even.

Do you remember the first time When you went to Canada? Yeah, Vancouver. Was that somewhat recently?

I slept at a brothel or a hostel. I slept at a hostel.

Okay, yeah. How many years ago would that have been?

That was probably 18, 18 years ago, 17 years ago. It was great, man. I had a great time.

Were you going to stand up there?

Where were you? I hadn't started. I had just almost started stand up. I was traveling. I was left out of there on a school floating University. I left out of Vancouver called Semester at Sea. It went around the globe, and we left out of Vancouver. But I went up to Whistler. I went and caught a ride. Some guy took me hitchhiking up to Whistler, drove me up there. The guy who drove me, he was a caretaker for Superman, who had died. Remember Superman who got in the wheelchair? Yeah, Christopher Reeves. Christopher Reeves, he was his caretaker. Okay. This guy, Michael. I think I met him. I was at some shop right around there, and he was saying he was in the area or something. He's like, I'm taking a drive up to Whistler. I was like, Can I roll with you? He's like, Yeah. He took to Whistler Man, brought me back. We stopped along the way, went on some hikes and stuff. It was amazing. But I've always enjoyed Canada. I used to have a dream that I would meet a wife in Toronto, but I went to two weeks of comedy up there, didn't meet anyone.

Well, you could still happen for sure. It could still happen. You find the audiences react differently?

They're great. Halifax was one of my favorite shows I've ever had in my life. Yeah. Dude, I even made... My little nephew made up this joke. He said, I told it on stage. I was like, Yeah, I heard one time that there wasn't any more fish up here. And so they changed the name to No Fish, Scotia. And nobody laughed, right? Yeah, sure. It was fucking funny.

That's why I'm laughing because I can imagine the reaction.

Sometimes there's something great when they don't laugh. Sure. There's some little thing in there. It's like, Oh, that's pretty good.

Yeah, absolutely.

But yeah, always had a great for Canada. I think it's bizarre that Trump would say something like that. But what do you expect out of him? And what do you expect about the media to spotlight things and make it whatever it is, even if it's a seed of something to grow it into a million plants?

Yeah. No, it's interesting. I think there's a thing that's going on the hockey games in Canada now where USA and Canada are playing.

Yeah, the Four Nations, right?

Yeah, the Canadian fans were booing the Anthem. Sometimes I go like, well, I don't... Based on the reaction on social media, I feel like maybe not everybody in the US necessarily understands why that's happening. They don't know it's about the tariffs. They're not booing the National Anthem. They're booing this The fact that these tariffs are being put on, which is going to, of course, devastate the economy on both sides will suffer from that. I'm sitting here talking about it like I know about it.

I should probably know more about it.

But it's like, I think people people are just like, why are you guys doing this to us? It's an interesting thing. But you want to talk about issues sometimes and then you go, okay, I've just waded into this hornet's nest, and I'm never going to hear the end of it. It is interesting. When you're at the inauguration, after the inauguration, where you're like, Who are you hanging out with there?

Who did I meet? I met this kid, Alexander Wang. We just had a podcast episode with him. He created this company called Scale AI. He's like this AI. He's the youngest billionaire ever, this Chinese kid from New Mexico. Wow. They're a fascinating dude. Self-madea self-made billionaire. Self-made billionaire. I ended up having lunch with him. That was probably the neatest thing that happened that weekend. He pick up the tab? I think I paid, actually. You paid? I didn't know he was a billionaire.

Oh, my gosh. That's why he's a billionaire. He's letting everyone else pick up the tab.

I I was just happy to be dining with the Chinese. That's amazing. It was great, man. Then who else? Something else happened at night. I saw Wayne Gretske lost his tooth. Then anything. I saw Joe Rogan for a few minutes. I saw Tony Hinchcliff from Kill Tony, and then that was it, and then I went home. It was too much, too hard to get around. I saw Lex Friedmann. That was pretty neat. I'd never met him. He's a podcaster.

I met him at the mothership before. Oh, nice.

It That was some of the neat parts of it. Yeah, it's amazing. Just getting to see some different folks. I think they're having issues. Even in America, they're having... I just saw that there's a part of Oregon that wanted to secede from Oregon. Yeah.

They're going to become Canada's 11th province. Good. I would love it if we started trading pieces of our trading.

Now, that I'm totally for.

New York and California, come join Canada. Take one of them. You guys can take. I'm not going to say who guys can take, but because we-No, I knew what you were talking about, dude.

Got to be political. Sacrébleau. Okay. That's all I'll say, brother.

No, just be in Québécois, actually. Je parle français. I lived in Quebec a lot in my life. You did? Yeah, I grew up in Quebec. I love Quebec, You must have been up to the Montreal Festival over the years.

Yeah, we went there a couple of times.

I love Quebec. It's fun.

Yeah. Edmund, we got some of the places we're going to. Calgary and Ottawa and Winnipeg we're going to go to this year. Oh, yeah.

When you're in Ottawa, maybe if you're rolling past the farm and the tour bus, come by the farm and we'll go ride some mules or something.

How far outside of town are you guys?

About like an hour or so. Oh, wow. Yeah. So not too far. I'll come pick you up in my pickup truck. We'll go hang out.

Do you think you'll have... Now that you're feeling settled out there, do you start thinking about starting a family or no?

Yeah, definitely. I'm getting married, so knock on wood. Everything goes well with and maybe it'll be some... We'll see. We'll have to ask my fiancée. Oh, yeah. I think she would want to do that.

Yeah, you got to include her.

Yes, for sure. No, I think that's a possibility for sure.

Was it for a while, did you think that that wasn't going to be a part of your life?

I was starting to question whether or not it was going to be part of my life because I think you alluded to this earlier. You want to If you're going to get married, you want to get married to somebody that you love and actually think that this could last forever. I was starting to question whether or not that was maybe possible. I wasn't I don't know if that was possible anymore to find somebody that I thought would last forever with. But when I met Amanda, she's outside. I hope I'm getting some brownie points here, but I realized this is the one. But until you meet that person, it does start to feel of like, Jesus, getting a little uncertain here. Yeah, like I'm just watering. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how I think about it, because I think when you're younger, you have this feeling of this young love energy type of thing, and that feels less possible the older we get. It just starts to dissipate or it's like, Oh, well, I'm too wise now or I've had too much experience now that I'm never going to have that whimsicle feeling of that a 17-year-old or a 23-year-old would have. But it's nice to know that that can sneak up and surprise you.

I think being home where I'm from helped because it's like, I don't know. If you're not from Los Angeles, then it's a weird place. If you're from Los Angeles, it's normal. But if you're not from Los Angeles, it's a in a weird place. You're here probably focused on your career and your work and so many other people are. It's hard to, I think, find a good... I'm not saying it's impossible, but it seems like it is harder in this environment to find somebody that you can... I don't know. Are people watching going, Are we going to be taking relationship advice from me? I don't know. I don't know if that's...

No, it does make me think that. I think there's this feeling in LA that if you meet somebody, you're going to have to eventually get them to leave here. I've always felt that thing like, well, if I met somebody, would they ever leave here with me? Because I'm not going to stay here forever.

That's exactly what I was trying to say.

That, I think, is totally common.

You said you don't live here full-time now?

I live in Tennessee. I moved during the pandemic, too.

In Nashville? Yeah.

Cool. I moved during the pandemic. What was true? Whenever Trump was talking about Canada, can you bring it up, nick? I just want to know what he even was saying. What were they threatening? They were threatening to tariff Canadian goods, just so our listeners can know what exactly was even going on.

They're going to put a tariff on everything. Canada is the largest trading partner of the United States. Nice. And so much of the goods that come into the United States from Canada are being brought in by American businesses to like wood. You bring wood and lumber in to build Houses, right? So when you put a 25 % tariff on lumber, that means everybody that... Flannel. If you're a big flannel company making flannel pajamas, all of a sudden, flannel pajamas are going to be 25 % more expensive. So it's really it's going to affect businesses on both sides of the border, obviously, not just Canada, but also everything will go up in price. I'm not exactly sure the reason for it, to be honest with you. He was really saying they weren't helping out with border security. And that's what the 30 days probation period, they did put a bunch of people at the border. Absolutely. And I don't think there's a real border security problem between Canada and the United States, though.

It's the hardest country to get into in the world, I think, is Canada.

Yeah.

I mean, it's- Going that way, there isn't. That's for sure.

Yeah. The claim that there's fentanyl coming into the United States from Canada, I is a little bit exaggerated because I don't really think that that's actually the case. Something like a very small amount is coming in from Canada.

Tariffs are a central part of Trump's economic plans. He promised to introduce import duties against some of America's main trade partners during his election campaign. He said, Tariffs will boost US manufacturing and protect jobs, as well as raising tax revenue and growing the economy. Fentanyl is linked to tens of thousands of overdose deaths, taking bold action to hold Mexico, Canada, and China accountable to their promise of halting illegal immigration and stopping poisonous fentanyl and other drugs from flowing into our country. It just seems vague.

Yeah, I think it's like...

But what would you do? I'm trying to see, say if you bring a bunch of stuff I'm in my country, right? Say if you and I live in different countries, and you bring a bunch of stuff into my country, or I bring a bunch of stuff in your country, and then you say, Okay, I'm going to charge you more to bring that in, if you don't help stop the fentanyl that's coming in. I don't know. How would you then do that? What would you then on your side, would you say, Okay, we'll put more what? Drug dogs and security along the border?

I think that's what he's asking them to do. I think we already do have... Again, I'm not a representative of the Canadian government, but I do think that we already do have a lot of... There's only so much you can do to seal off a border, right? I don't think there is that much fentanyl coming in from Canada, really.

I'd never heard that that was a thing. Before.

I think it mostly does come in from the Southern border.

That's what I would think. I wonder if maybe you guys got grandfathered into some late night Trump rhetoric there. Who knows?

It feels a little bit like that, but hopefully it'll resolve itself. I do think that it's probably going to end up causing a lot of economic problems on both sides of the border, and probably they may not go for it.

It was sports exciting for a while, though.

Yeah, exactly.

That's the side effect of it.

It was a good fight right off the top of the game the other day. It was pretty cool. We like a good hockey fight, so that's cool.

It is nice when countries sometimes don't get along a little bit in sports, right? I've always admired that. That's one thing I don't like about the NBA anymore. All the players, it just seems like they all know each other. Nobody's really playing for their squad sometimes. Okay. I like a little bit more of that animosity.

Even more fights in the NBA, physical fights. Yeah, look at that.

Oh, definitely.

I believe both those players are American, too. I'm not sure how quickly your researcher can tell us that, but even though the Canadian team Canada didn't get the win in this game.

I know that.

Maybe that's not true at all, what I just said.

I don't think Canada got the win in this game. But that's okay.

Yeah, we lost the game, absolutely, which is really… I know. But it is nice to see everybody having a good time watching a hockey fight for sure. Absolutely.

What else did I see in the news that I just saw was happening? Oh, yeah. It was that contraception begins at erection now. This is a law that they're pushing. Ohio Democratic Lawmakers propose Conception begins at Erection Act. Okay. They're trying to put it on the men a little bit more.

What exactly are they going to do about this now?

Well, a new bill in Ohio would make it a crime for men to ejaculate without intending to have a baby.

Oh, wow. That's definitely something that I could see a lot of people probably would be guilty of for sure.

Hey, shoot as shoot.

Yeah, I could see that being... I don't want to get in too much personal detail, but I think I'd probably be locked up for a long time.

Hey, yeah. We're going to visit Tom this weekend again. He's behind for us.

Yeah, my gosh.

I thought he was going to get paroled.

Plenty of time to break the law in jail, though. Yeah, that's true.

They put a monitor like wraps around your wiener, and it just goes off if it gets too hard.

Now, I'm assuming this is a parody site, but the world's so crazy right now that I'm actually asking this for real. Is this a real article?

This is a real article right there. What? Yeah. Let's zoom in on. I'm going to read it a little bit.

Okay. This is not The Onion or something like that or Mad magazine or something?

No, this is one of those good radishes that they have out there.

It rimes nicely, too. Conception begins at erection act. I mean, it's a nice rhyme to it, which is also nice.

If you're going to penalize someone for an unwanted pregnancy, why not penalize the person who is also responsible for the pregnancy? Now, I can't say I don't agree with this. It's like, then you're going to have a lot more people $10,000 per discharge. But here's the thing. Sometimes it's just running around, skeding or whatever they call it, and I don't know what they call it in different countries, but they're not going to have an extra 10K on them. You're going to The court system would be filled with every kid in the world, every 14-year-old kid.

I'm assuming, I don't know how much I want to talk about this in detail with you, to be honest.

No. Look, I'm going to say, you don't get pregnant on your own. Representative Anita Somani, Democrat, Dublin said, A felony for men to discharge semen without the intent to fertilize.

That is Wow. Amazing idea. I actually would love to see that applied that law just to see what would happen. It would be interesting to see what would happen.

It's genital communism in a way, I guess.

It's genital communism. Is it? Absolutely.

Yeah. Absolutely. She introduced legislation that would make it a felony to discharge semen without the intent to fertilize. So Monty and State Representative Tristan Rader joined forces to propose a bill nicknamed Concepcion Begins the Direction. There are some exceptions, such as when protection or contraceptions are used during sex. It also wouldn't apply when an individual is masturbating, donating sperm.

Lots of relief. Yeah.

Or if the intercourse has taken place between members of LGBT+ community, and this doesn't produce over. So gay people would be able to just jerk off on each other, and they don't suffer any of the consequences.

But if a couple of straits get caught, this is discharging. This is unfair on so many levels.

It's beyond ridiculous what's going on here. Republican activist Austin Bigeal laughed. It's a mockery of the most basic biological conceptions.

Now, I still can't believe this is a real article.

Well, I think their purpose in this was saying, If you think it's absurd to regulate men, then you should think it's equally absurd to regulate women. So Monty responded, I'm guessing that there was an original idea that- I see.

Okay, of Yeah, about. I understand now.

Taking on reproductive rights for women. Absolutely. I don't know, man. It's a good idea. I'd run up a tab.

I know that. They're making a valid point when you put it that way. Absolutely.

I'd run up a tab. Did When you hosted SNL, what was that like for? Do you recall some of the energy of that night?

It was a wild, somewhat terrifying experience. I had just gone through some pretty... I'd just gone through surgery, like a few months ago. From testicular cancer? Yeah, and I'd had this lymph node dissection, and I was like... It had affected my energy levels a lot. So it was... There was a lot going on in my life when I actually got the call to do that show and to do Saturday Night Live. It was really cool, though. The thing that was cool about it was Lorne Michael's who's Canadian, and I was just so overwhelmed that I was asked to do it, right? Yeah. I had a couple of friends who I grew up with who worked on my show with me, and I said, Can they come in and work with me and help write some skits and stuff? So they gave us a little office and stuff. We went and then we used to writing skits up and everything. They actually ended up giving me a lot of creative freedom on the show to write sketches and stuff. In hindsight, I wish they hadn't.

Like they had just written them themselves?

Yeah, well, because we really made some really weird fucking sketches. I think maybe it would have been cool if maybe I had just gone in and done the stuff that they had written. But I was definitely... Freddie Got Fingered hadn't come out yet. So I was still riding high on this hit show, and we come in and we say, Okay, now let's write some crazy sketches. The stuff we wrote was really, really weird.

Were you intent on making it weird? I I think we were, yeah. How weird can we make this? It's S&L, let's make it ours.

I think so. Sometimes I think there was a misperception, maybe, amongst some of the cast that I brought my own writers in, which wasn't really the case. It was more like it was my buddies, and they'd come up with me with the show. It was like when we made the show in Canada, some of my friends came down with me to the States.

This is part of the team. It's not just Tom Green.

I wanted them to be included in the show, so we went in and did that. But it was an amazingly exciting experience. My parents were there on stage with me. It was one of those things where you can't believe that you actually that it actually happened while it was happening. I did a lot of sketches with Will Farrell. Here's an example of something that I... I wouldn't say I regret this, but I regret this. So So there was a sketch where I'm a lizard, and I'm holding a pig, like an actual pig. It was Molly Shannon and Will, and I'm a lizard. And I didn't really have any lines in the sketch or many lines in the sketch. It was mostly Will and Molly were doing this sketch. But I noticed during rehearsal that if I just lightly tickled the pig's belly with my finger, that it would start to squille extremely loud. I did that once during rehearsal, and then somebody said, Oh, you better not... She'll squille if you touch her belly. So I said, Okay. There's a rehearsal show, and then there's the actual show. I maybe regret this, but I did note that, Okay, let's get through the rehearsal show, but then live, I'm going to make that pig squille.

Yeah. Hell, yes, sister.

It did... Sorry, It went pig. No, but it was it threw the sketch off a little bit.

You just kept squilling that.

I realized that it did throw the rhythm of the of the comedy off a little bit.

How many times did you squille it?

It became a bit of a mess.

Were you getting a squel every time he touched his belly or did you have to really?

No, I just had to just lightly pet her there and she would just start… But it was confusing to me, but I'm not sure if anybody Nobody else enjoyed it that much. Oh, yeah.

My sister's like that. If you touch her lunch, she fucking gets a little animated. If you grab any of her talkies out of her little dish.

It was like that. It was an amazing experience. I was It was a total honor to be able to do it. It was cool. The cast was Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fay, Will Farrell, Chris Catan, Molly Shannon, Anna Gastier, Tracy and Morgan. It's a weird environment, Saturday Night Live, especially when you're young and you don't really know. We were talking earlier about you're talking about going to Chris Rock's party and you didn't know how to act or whatever because there's all these people here and it's just complicated. So you're getting thrust into an environment like that. And then even as the host, it felt like a competitive of environment because all the cast members are trying to write sketches and get them on the air every week. And I didn't really know how it worked really at the time. In hindsight, I now realize how it works, and we might have done things differently. But when we were trying to put these sketches on the air that we were writing, maybe that was pushing another sketch off, and I wasn't really thinking of it like that. So it created... It's a weird environment. The more I hear people on podcasts who have been on the show talk about the show.

It seems like everybody has gone through that experience who's been on that show where it's very competitive and stressful for people. And that makes me feel a little bit better about my experience there because it was a stressful experience because you know everybody's going to be watching the show. It's live, and you're doing all this weird stuff that's not necessarily... I'm a little bit out of my element. I didn't do sketch comedy. Yeah, that's scary. But it was cool. It was good.

It sounds like it's par for the course a little because even Adam Sandler the other night was singing. He had a musical tribute that he did to the 50 Years. He referenced a couple of times about people having sketches that they wrote that didn't get on the show. I think that seems like it was just a weekly occurrence. Of course, you want to go in there with a little bit more comfort zone for yourself. It's like, yeah, if we can write a couple of them or we can have some manipulation over them, it's probably going to make you feel more comfortable.

Another thing that was weird that happened on the show. There was a sketch that I did. It's called a sketch, like I did with Will Farrell, where we're both dressed as eagles. This was one of the ones that my friends and I wrote. It's hard to say that we wrote it, but the sketch was Jimmy Fallon and Molly Shannon are looking at Will and I who are eagles. We wrote this it out, by the way, on paper and handed it in, and then they said to do it. And then Will and I decide to fly up into the audience. I thought it would be fun to go in the audience. So we fly into the audience and then we chew up carrots. And then I believe Will chews up a carrot, and I believe he spits the carrot into my mouth. And then we end up... Because you know how baby birds mother birds will chew up the food and feed it? Mother birds will chew up the food and make it easier for the baby to eat. So this was the sketch we did.

Oh, yeah.

But so somehow I maybe probably would have been better if we just did the sketches that their writers had written. Oh, God.

And these are both males, huh? Yeah.

So we're doing this. Yeah, exactly. So we're doing this.

What zoo is that at? That's what I'm talking about. That's the West Hollywood Aquarium right there, brother. I'll tell you that, huh? Yeah.

So we're doing this sketch, this skit. So when you host the show, you got to run to get ready for the next sketch because you got to take off your ego costume and put on another costume. So I'm running down the stairs and I'm running through the backstage area and just sitting in the darkness, just backstage, Tom Hanks is just sitting there in front of a monitor watching the show. And I'm in the Eagle costume. I just done that. I make eye contact with Tom Hanks. So now I'm like, I was already nervous. Now I got Tom Hanks in the dark watching and I'm going like, How did that eagle sketch go? And I'm getting ready for the next sketch. Not sure how the Eagle sketch went, and Tom Hanks is watching. So it throws you a little bit. But then there's a big after-party after the show, and Tom Hanks was real nice, and he was hanging out, talking to my parents and stuff. It was pretty cool. But no, it was an amazing thing. It's a thing, though. It's like you go, jeez, it would be nice to be able to do it again someday, because I think doing it the first time is so...

I don't know that that would ever happen, but probably in an alternate universe, I might be able to do it again someday. But you go, okay, I understand how the system of it works now. And it would be probably... I I probably would not have done that.

Yeah, but also it's great that you did, though. It's so epic. Yeah. And yeah, I think you're right about that's a lot of things in life. You're like, man, I wish I had gotten a trial run or I had a little bit of an idea of how the feelings were or what the energy was like in that space or that room or like, Man, there's been things you go out on a stage, part of a show or a banquet, some type of thing, and you just play the room totally wrong. That didn't seem like that, but there's definitely times that in life and you wish you like, man, I wish I'd get one more swing at it. Yeah.

I think that generally you can at least take those lessons and apply them to something else.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Was Michael Jackson there whenever you guys played? Who was your musical guest?

No, it was not Michael Jackson, but that would have been amazing if it was Michael Jackson. No, it was David gray. Oh, yeah. But man, it would have been amazing. No, Well, nothing against David gray, but have you ever had Michael Jackson- I've seen David gray play. Have you ever interacted with Michael Jackson in any way? No. No. That would have been amazing. But yeah, he was great.

I would love to see- Another weird thing that happened on the show.

Michael Jackson. One thing that was weird that happened on the show. I was backstage getting ready for the... I don't even know if I should tell this story. I don't even know if I should tell this story. Maybe it's not... Let's talk about something else. It's a weird No worries.

No worries. Tom Hanks was there the other night, and I didn't get to see him. Oh, I got to see Madonna. She's little.

Okay, where was that?

She's such a little baby carrot. What? She was at that SNL thing.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that's cool. It was just interesting. So are you chatting with Madonna?

No, no, no, no, no.

She's quite interesting on TikTok these days. Oh, is she? She does some pretty out there stuff on her TikTok.

I got to follow her. I got to check her out. When you have these, you beat cancer, right? Has it flared back up? What's that been like?

No, it's completely gone.

Did they have to take out one of your gonads or not?

One testicle, yeah. My right testicle and some lymph nodes as well.

What are the lymph nodes like? Is that actually in the testicle or is that in the body?

No, the lymph nodes are actually behind your intestines, and they have to... They cut me up here and they had to remove those. That was just a check to see if the cancer had spread into them. Wow. The only way they could really check and know if we're 100% sure if it had spread was to take them out and look at them under a microscope and stuff. They had not spread, so then that meant I did not have to have chemo and stuff. But they did take my right testicle, which was honestly, when I found out, the show was on MTV, It was heavy at the time. You have it still? Yeah, I did not keep it indefinitely, but that is it in a plastic bag right there.

How many ounces is it?

I don't remember weighing it exactly, but I know it's quite heavy for sure.

Oh, hell, yeah. I can give you But we don't have no light testicles around here. But we filmed the whole surgery for a show, and TV.

That's actually the whole show there, The Cancer Special, which is on YouTube. But you'd see my documentary on Prime, too, where it walks through that hole. That's Glenn Humplick, who is my friend and co-host on the show. Here he is after my surgery, coming down and playing with my testicle a A little bit of sash there. It's a little sash. That's what he says. It looks like chicken. Then my mom says, I don't know what chicken you're eating. That is my cancer-infected testicle right there. But I still have the left one. It's the middle one now.

I can still ejaculate just a little.

No, it's pretty good, actually.

Heck, yeah, dude. It's going to cost you 10 grand if you drive over to Ohio and do it. I'll tell you that, bro. Look, why would you stop in Mission Walk and do it?

Only five grand for me.

Yeah, that's true.

Which is a benefit in Ohio, to have a testicle of cancer. You can...

God, brother. The terrorists, they would rack up. They'd make a million bucks a night in that state. That's not a bad idea.

No, not a bad idea for sure.

Did you ever wear a prosthetic testicle?

It was offered, and I refused to do it. I not refused, but I just opted out on the prosthetic.

Did you ever look at them, at least?

I think I did. Yeah, I think I did. This was 20 years ago, but I I'd heard the doctor said, a lot of people get them, don't like it. They say it feels weird or whatever. So I just figured, no, I don't need one. But I don't know how much you want to talk about my ball sac, but it doesn't really seem that much different down there.

I could imagine that, too, as you're talking- It all just morphs into like a...

Because they don't actually go through the scrotum to get the testicle. You know that? They don't actually cut the scrotum. Oh, no. No, they go in, they cut you up here, under your pubic hair. Under your pubes, they go in there and then they go in and they just shuck it out like an oyster from above. So It's not really like the scrotum is completely intact. There's not some scarred scrotum or anything. I don't have a scarred up scrotum. It's totally normal scrotum. Yeah, good. There's a little scar up here, But I'd had a hernia operation before when I was younger, so they just went through the same thing. It's like you wouldn't need just a little scar there.

A lot of hernias in Canada, too. What country has the most hernias, you think?

Yeah, that is interesting. I had never thought about that. But is there a lot in Canada?

A lot of my friends in Canada have had hernias.

A lot of your friends in Canada have had hernias, really?

Yeah, I'm just wondering.

I'd be curious to see if there's more in Canada. That would be certainly an interesting statistic for sure.

According to available data, countries in South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa tend to have the highest prevalence of hernias, particularly in regions with lower socioeconomic status, with countries like India and parts of Tanzania showing significantly higher rates compared to high income nations. This is largely due to factors like limited access to health care and higher rates of manual labor. Wow.

I gave myself a hernia on my show, live on the public. It was on the public access version of the show years before we were on MTV. And It was a strange episode, probably one of the weirder ones, where we said, Okay, I'm going to break the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest fingernails. Have you ever seen those?

Oh, yeah. We used to see them all the time. This is a strange bit. The Chinese kid on the bike, remember that? That World Record book? Yeah. They'd have a 15 or 16, a whole just starter pack of Asians hanging off a bike.

Exactly. For whatever reason, this doesn't even sound like it could even possibly make sense I can't describe it, but the idea was okay, it was Glenn and myself. It's a live show. It was on community cable. It's not on a big network. It was late at night and we said, okay, what we're going to do is we're going to try to break the record for longest fingernaails. I had a bunch of milk, it was calcium, and I set it up all very seriously and then I start drinking milk. Then for the entire hour, I just basically drank milk and scared at my fingernails for an hour and didn't do anything. It progressively got a little bit more weird. Then towards the end of the show, I stood up and started thrashing around somewhat violently. I don't know. There's no real logical reason for it. It was like a milk overdose or something. I started doing this thrashing, and I hit the desk, and I flipped the desk over, and I felt something pop in my abdomen. Then we went off the air, and I went up to the bathroom and my intestine was pushing out through my abdomen and went to the hospital and I had given myself a hernia.

That's how that happened.

Was that probably the worst accident you ever endeared? No.

The worst one ever was just two years ago. I stepped on a fire on the beach in Costa Rica.

The old fire step, huh?

It had been buried under sand. I walked up to this bonfire, and the edge of the fire had been buried, and my foot went into it. Yeah, I got third-degree burns on both my feet.

Oh my God. I thought that was a couple to-go sandwiches.

Yeah. No. Yeah, that was maybe the worst. That was just three years ago. I almost lost my foot.

You just had to lay in bed for a while, huh?

For 10 days in Costa I was in hospital, and then I was medevaced on an air ambulance back to Canada, actually, and spent another week and a half in the hospital there. Yeah, my foot's pretty messed up right now, but it's better. It's better, not 100%, but I've had a few good injuries. Oh, there they go. There they are. Oh, my gosh. You found the unedited version. Yeah. Wow, look at that. Look at this, the top of my foot, too. The bottom of the foot ain't good either.

Those are sexy. I I'll spend 10 grand on those things. Look out, Ohio.

Jeez. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Those are my feet right there. That was maybe coming up them three years ago now. That was maybe the worst injury ever.

The show that you have now, you have the special that's out.

It all came out just a few weeks ago.

The 28th or something when was it?

Yeah.

It's all on Amazon Prime.

On Prime. This is the Tom Green documentary, and then the stand-up special. It's called I Got A Mule. I Got A Mule. I'm talking about my life on the farm and getting my mule. Then the show, which is a four episode series of me moving to the farm called Tom Green Country. I recorded all the music for the show as well. There's a country album that I put out, which is the soundtrack for the show, which is called Home to the Country, which is on Spotify. It's called what? It's called Home to the Country. Home to the Country. It's the name of the album. And that's out on music wherever you get music now. And then I'm on tour. I'm actually on tour. I'm getting back in the camper van, and we're going to start do a little bit more camping and touring around with my fiancé up through the desert. Then we'll be picking up the tour again March 14th in Colorado. It'll be Colorado Springs, Aspen, upwards to up through where are we go in Indianapolis, St. Louis, All the dates are on my website, but Chicago. Touring and driving back to Canada.

Then I'll be riding my mule all summer. When are you in Ottawa?

I'm going to be in Ottawa. I'm not sure, actually. I think sometime before the, I guess May, maybe. Oh, cool. But I have to let you know before I'm going to come. It'll be so cool to come see the farm. Do you think with a lot of the new stuff you're shooting now or some of the stuff that I see on your YouTube channel, it's a little bit more artistic in some way. I don't know if that's the word.

Yeah, It's definitely not something that I expect to really go viral in a lot of ways because it's very long form stuff that I just really like shooting like that.

Do you notice it almost seems like you'd want to shoot a feature, like a movie. I can't tell. I don't know because sometimes we have things that start to happen and then it becomes something else. But when I'm watching it, I feel like I'm getting into a world. That's what it feels Yeah, that's cool.

That's cool to know that you watched it because it is... It's not like a mainstream comedy piece that I'm putting on my YouTube channel right now. I want to just capture what it feels like being out in the desert and in these amazing places or being on the farm with the animals. And so I like shooting and capturing images that are calming and beautiful and It is the thing that... The show is not like that. The show is there's a lot more going on, but there is something nice about just putting it on and sitting back and just like an ASMR type of thing.

Yeah, that's what it feels like. It's like ASMR for your eyes.

Yeah. It's interesting. I think a lot of it started just as me really trying to experiment with the cameras and just trying to figure out how to make these cameras work and capture the the cinematography the way I want to capture it. I think that maybe it may evolve into something a little bit more faster paced at some point, but right now it's just a lot of this slice of life stuff that I put up on the YouTube channel. I have a podcast, which I do one episode every six months or something like that. I might start doing the podcast again and putting that up to give people something a little bit more familiar to watch. But right now, yeah, that's what it is. I just enjoy taking people to these places. I find it interesting that everything's so fast-paced now. People's attention spans are so short now that it's interesting to do something that's not that. And again, the algorithm doesn't really work in its favor. You have to say something shocking within the first 10 seconds, and then put some words on the screen and do all these things that you can do to really capture a large audience But if you do watch it, you do get sucked into a little secret universe in a way.

There's even little messages. Sometimes I'll put like 45 minutes into a video that will... If you made it that far, then you might say something in the comments, and then I'll know that you actually watched 45 minutes in. So there is a lot of people that do get it, which is fun. And it's neat to... It's impossible to capture the energy of what it's like out there in nature by doing something fast paced, because so much of what's amazing about it is just the calm stillness of it also. That's what it is on the YouTube channel. It's a bit different, but...

I think people are as desperate for that as they've I've never been in some ways. I think things have gotten... We're operating at a speed that we don't even feel comfortable in sometimes, or our brains are having to. But yeah, that's what it feels like. It feels like some type of an ASMR. It feels It's overwhelming, man. That's what it feels like. And yeah, I'm just curious because you've just always been a creator. You're just always creating. You're always finding some way to... I don't know if it's in fact, to incite, to get a reaction out of people in some type of way. It's cool.

It's weird today because there's so much energy online, so much craziness and pranks and just the insanity that you can see every day on your phone. Before you get out of bed, you're just like, if you pick up your phone and you get that in your head too early in your day, your whole day could be just-That was crazy.

But you started it. Well, That was just crazy. But that's okay. It's not a judgment.

Technology was changing at the same time.

We're glad you did, man. We're glad you did, man. Tom, thanks so much for all the entertainment over the years. Yeah, man, I I just appreciate you spending time with me. Congratulations on the new engagement.

Thank you. Thank you for having me on the show, Theo. I mean, it's awesome, man. I love the show and I just appreciate you having me on.

I want to come pet that donkey, man, when I get up there.

Absolutely. Come pet the donkey, man.

You will. I'll be out there. Okay. All right. Thanks, Tom. Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

I must be cornerstone. But when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones. But it's going to take.