Transcript of The Modern Stone Age Family: Wednesday, August 12th, 2026 New

Good morning, girlies. It's The Toast.

It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's The Toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to The Toast and happy In Fact It Is. Hump Day! And I would say welcome to the toast, but today, today, today, your husband is Scott. Today it's more so giving not the toast but the bears.

You guys, Turdy and I are matching today.

I just want to say that I feel in this family I sort of own the Ralph Lauren like cable knit sweaters. Um, so if you are gonna wear one, like, you do have to run it by me because the odds of me also wearing one are usually quite high, especially in the summertime.

Consider that I've had this sweater all summer, and I always want to wear it, but like, I don't know, I'm just like, is today a big enough day to wear it? It's just—

you definitely wear it on like on a big day.

Yeah, like it's such a cute sweater, and I, I just wanted to do it right. And I was like, you know what, like we only have a couple more shows left, like let me wear the sweater. And I didn't even— and I was more so concerned like with hair up or hair down. I didn't even think that you were gonna come down and see your sister. But we are so simpatico because there are some days you don't wear the bear sweaters, and I didn't choose one of those days. Like I think it just speaks to how in sync we are. Like, we are Justin Timberlake and Brian.

Yes. Like, we're matching today. And like, well, well, you can find— or at least I, like, one can find like shame. Like, we're gonna go out to lunch after this, and I think we're gonna go shopping, and it's like, we're gonna be like those girls in the matching sweaters.

We're always those girls anywhere we go, because I do think we're also like those girls with the podcast.

We're also like those girls with the matching auras.

We like— we don't have small energy, you know? Even though we couldn't be teenier, tinier, we're always taking up space like wherever we go. It's so true.

And how does that make you feel?

I don't really notice it, but when I think about us, I can recognize that that's probably how we are. Yeah.

But when I feel like larger than life person—

yeah. I just feel like we're always like starting stuff. No, no, no, no.

Like causing commotion.

No, no, no, no. Like we're just always have a large presence, like both physically and spiritually. And when I'm in it, I'm just like, this is life. But when I zoom out, I'm like, oh wow. Yeah.

Were those girls.

Were those girls, yeah.

Who's that girl? Jackson Turdy, it's Jackson Turdy, yeah, who's that girl? I did what I said I was gonna do. I watched The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip last night. Only one episode has been released, although, and while it's an unusual choice for Bravo to do a Peacock thing, episode biweekly, I actually think it's a lot. I was kind of relieved there wasn't a second episode. I really enjoyed it, but it's a lot. They chose one lady from each franchise and you can tell they know it's like a big deal that they've been chosen. Now, Kyle knew she was going to get chosen. Vicki knew she was going to get chosen. But like, Lisa Barlow didn't know. Portia, like, it could have been anyone. Well, not really, but Portia was like not a guarantee. She's not an OG. Um, Giselle, the only competition is in jail. So like, it was— but they're all just like competing with one another for like moments. And they are talking about like, what's your iconic moment? What's your iconic moment? And I will say, like, the Bravo producers, if you don't know like OG Housewives lore, like, you will not enjoy this.

It is like so—

it's for the fans—

niche. But like, it's It's even if you started watching the last like 5 years, it's like 20-year-old stuff. Like it's so niche and it's really fun. And a lot of the women, I'm sorry, like they all think that they're the star, right? Like I know that Vicki thinks, 'cause especially they're starting in OC, like the OG of the OC. And like, I know Teresa thinks that like she invented this franchise, but I'm sorry, it is a fact that like the star of this show is Luanne. When I tell you I was cracking up, she's not even trying. Like a lot of them are like elbowing each other for the spotlight. Like you can tell. Luanne is just cracking up. First of all, she's just like on the side drinking, like she's just partying. She is so funny. She doesn't— like, a lot of them I think are like pretending not to know like the other one's lore, you know? Like, there's definitely like interpersonal drama.

That's so crazy.

And I will say, like, it's all fun and games right now. They're starting— basically how it works is like they all flew to OC and then they're gonna go to all the cities and each of the ladies is gonna host. So in, um, OC, they had a big dinner at the Quiet Woman and it was that '80s theme where they had that bunco party where like they were all dressed as '80s, like screaming at each other. So, and then all the Housewives from OC came. Shannon, Tamra, there was a little like OC drama with Shannon and Vicki, um, Heather Dubrow. And it's all fun and games, but I feel like it's actually a really long journey. So like then they're gonna drive to Beverly Hills, then they're going to fly to Miami. So like it's just a lot of traveling, and I feel like I could see them all like really ending up like hating each other.

And like, like there will actually be drama from living with someone.

It's all fun and games when like you all have your own hotel room, and it's night one.

So it is fun and games? Yeah, until it's not.

But I'm telling you like, especially, especially with like everybody thinking they're the one. Let me just tell you also, because I get a lot of hate for this from like the tree huggers, because I'm not like a Teresa Giudice fan, although I agree like she's who should have been chosen. She's giving us nothing. Like literally, I forget she's there sometimes. Like nothing. Because she knows she doesn't have to work for it.

Like, I don't know, she's kind of like shy sometimes.

It's weird.

True. When she went on Ultimate Girls Trip in Turks and Caicos, I actually think all of the women like really liked her because she's actually not this like huge personality.

She's kind of quiet and shy, and she was like finally opening up on this boat about like going to jail, you know, she says going away, and just about how like she really trusted her husband. And like, like she was like explaining it was like a refinancing of the mortgage and she was just signing stuff. And like she says people think like being on TV is so fun. She was just like for the first time ever like actually being deep. And Vicki just like steamrolled over her and was like, yeah, like kodo insurance. And all the ladies are like, what? And she was like, hey, I mean, why would you ever sign something that your husband told you? It's like, girl, first of all, shut up. And second of all, we're actually for the first time ever hearing like a human side of Teresa Giudice. And she just steamrolled all over it.

Like, I kind of hated that.

Oh. Um, it's really good. Like, it's just very niche. Like, it's very in the know. Like, you have to really be like a diehard fan, and it's a lot. Like, it is a lot, especially because you're going to these towns with these ladies, and then the ladies of that town are also getting involved. Like, I think Erica comes next week, so it's just like, it's a lot.

Yeah, okay. I, um, maybe I'll check it out, but I am making headway in Let's Marry Harry. At the end of season 2, I'm about to be at the first—

season 2, episode 2—

I'm about to be at the first elimination. The show is hysterical because it's like The Bachelor, but like rated R. You know, I didn't expect, since when you're used to watching The Bachelor.

Jackie, that bug left a bite on your cheek.

I told you.

There was a bug in your cheek.

That's why I had to kill it in such a violent way.

No, but you have like a bug bite on your cheek.

I know, I told you I have a bug bite on my cheek.

I'm so sorry about that.

And when I killed the bug, that's why I did it the way that I did it.

It was a violent affair.

I couldn't believe he was still living.

Yeah.

It was like a mosquito too, I actually can't think about it.

It was like a little gnat.

And it's like a serious bug bite. I'm just pushing through.

But yes, thankfully it's on the side, people can't see.

You guys can't see. I could care less if you could see. My face is itchy. Itchy.

Ugh, I'm sorry.

And it's also like I keep pressing it, that's why you see the red. Yes, that's what I'm saying. I keep like making X's just to get the itch to stop.

Yeah, that's so annoying.

So it's like The Bachelor, rated R, because there's all these dates and like the women— everything like follows a similar template except then Harry Chow's evil, like throw in a comment like how he's like kissing this girl. He goes, and her ass is the size of a small planet.

Yeah, by the way, he's like an OnlyFans creator. He's like pretty like raunchy.

But, but he is like so ready to be married and have kids.

You think?

It's what he says, but I really believe it. Also, there's one girl who's come on and she has a child. She has a 7-year-old. I've actually met her once.

The girl?

The girl. I know her. I've met her. I wouldn't say I know her, but I did meet her once. What? She lives in Florida. Yeah, I'm cracking. Yeah. And And so she comes on with a child. So usually like on Love Island they kick you right off. And he said in his confessional, he's like, I would actually really like to be with someone who already has a child. That's how much I like want kids right now. He has like 12 nieces and nephews. He was asking her all about her son. It's just like, he's like a kid lover.

You feel that it's an earnest desire.

Yes. He like throws out these comments and I'm like, what?

You can't be serious.

But he, but it's just like he is who he is. And I also think like he really like has what it takes to like hold down the show because he's like, So he has a big personality, but he is very earnest. He's very handsome. So like, of course the girls are very interested in him.

He's very handsome.

He is very successful, like in this world. And so I think he makes like a very good Bachelor candidate. Yeah. And he reminds me a lot of Tyler Cameron before Tyler Cameron like got wifed up. Um, where it's like just the world's most eligible bachelor. Like anybody would, any girl would wanna be with him. Like I could see a show like this about Tyler back in the day. Yes.

However, I feel that Like, it was like a universal thing that everybody thought that about Tyler. I do think that like you have a special love for Harry Jowsey. I don't know if everyone in the world thinks that he's like this eligible bachelor that they would love to date.

But then why did he get this show? If it's just me that thinks that, why did like he get the show?

Sort of like right place, right time, like Friends with Alex Cooper, you know?

And then I just wanna say like, 'cause I was also thinking, you know, it's cool to make a good successful show, but this is really like a one season wonder. How many times can we marry Harry?

You could marry Carrie.

No, or we could, yeah, it could be like, let's marry Larry! Louis Capaldi.

This doesn't rhyme.

No, no, no, not rhyming. The, the, the show would now be called like Let's Marry, and then we have new, new leads.

Yeah, like a new franchise.

New leads.

Or you could just go with people whose name rhyme with Harry, and that's not nothing.

No.

Larry.

That, then you're getting into namesake territory.

Carrie.

And there's a girl that he likes whose name is Charlie, and I'm sorry, if they win—

Winner winner chicken dinner.

They have to come on namesake. Carrie and Charlie. It's true.

Or just they can come on the toast and we can call the episode episode namesake.

I love that. It's a segment of the toast. So also another weird part of the show— so he has this, these 3 council members who, right, oversee.

Amanda Klutz.

Amanda Klutz, his ex-girlfriend Georgina. I think she's an influencer.

She's so gorgeous having like an ex-girlfriend.

She should be an influencer, but I think she is. Um, and then I'm just like, why don't they be together? Because she obviously cares enough about him. The third is some guy who's like his honorary brother for the show, and What's crazy is they do the eliminations. They send the girls home. So they consult with Harry about like who he wants to keep, who he really likes, but they are watching the camera feeds the whole time. So they will be sending home the girls who are here for the wrong reasons. That's weird. Who are saying the wrong things. However, if Harry wants to save anyone that they've sent home, he can save them and he has to send home someone else. Yikes. But I just like, I don't love that they are the ones eliminating people.

'Cause also, because then it's like you end up with somebody who you didn't like directly choose. And also like they're watching the cameras and they were talking about this girl Jade.

She like had a bad attitude night one, whatever. And then on night two, Harry talks to her and they actually had like a really good conversation. So he's like, I had a good conversation with Jade. And Amanda's like, oh no, she had bad energy, a bad attitude night one. It's like someone can make a bad first impression or have a bad first night and like be okay, and you don't have to send them home.

Amanda's opinion isn't absolute here. It's like, well, Harry said they had a good conversation, like that's the end of that.

No, but she's like, no, she's like a bad— like she's saying, no, you don't know her like I do.

Who the fuck are you?

I wonder if they'll send her home. I didn't watch the elimination.

That is stupid.

That part isn't—

I think that they have to like switch up the format because like things get old quickly.

And then I'm not liking this honorary brother guy either because so far he's like not giving good advice. And he said he didn't like Sammy, the girl with the daughter, because when she came into the house the first night, like she immediately took her shoes off.

Respectful.

And he was like, oh right, it could be like a culture thing. He was like, if you can't commit to a pair of shoes, you can't commit to a marriage.

And I think it's a stupid thing to say.

Some of the worst advice I ever heard.

This is a who literally is raising a child. Like, talk about— like, they know, they know commitment.

Committed.

Yeah.

I thought that was the worst advice I ever heard.

And Harry's people—

and Harry was like, true, true.

That's your king right there, getting swayed.

Let's see what my king does. But so far, it really is like the Catching Kelsey of our time. Yeah, it's fucking hysterical. But like, I need— I'm not like roped in yet. I don't know everyone yet. I don't have feelings yet. But actually, when they were having the conversation about like kids and her son, like, I actually wanted to cry. And she has not— and I know we always judge people who go on shows with children.

Yeah, I actually do.

Um, she has not stopped crying the whole time about how much she misses her son.

You're only allowed to go on reality TV with a child if you spend the entire time crying.

And like, when she finally had her conversation with Harry, she immediately starts crying because she misses her son. And instead of like writing her off, he was like so sweet to her.

I'm pretty sure like Huda Mustafa still hasn't seen her daughter. Like, some people are just crazy.

Like, also, I think there's a difference of going on a show with a 2-year-old and a 7-year-old. Agreed. Like, remember when Jess went on—

his daughter was 4.

Also different. Yeah, 4 versus 7.

Yeah.

Remember when Jess went on Love Is Blind?

Yes.

I don't think not for one second were any of us like her daughter.

No, her daughter was like nearing 10.

Yeah. And we all felt she should be there. Yes.

No, at some point, like, you gotta live. But when you have like a child who depends on you for like food and water, like, yeah, who needs help like wiping after going potty. Correct.

You should stay home from the reality show.

A thousand.

But a 7-year-old, like, is different. Like, you could also, like, face— like, talk to them on the phone and they can communicate. And so it's different.

Um, okay, well, let's marry Harry.

Let's marry Hartz.

Let's marry Hartz to parts. Um, if you came into our home, like, where that we're all staying at here, and, like, just listened, you would not know that we were an English-speaking family. No. We're like, herch de perch de merch de farch. Reuben de Subin sandwich.

Reuben sandwich. Reuben is a sandwich and he's the tastiest sandwich ever. And we got the Charles Cheese.

Charles Cheese.

He's the cheesy.

This is our third to last show of Swirly Summer. Just a reminder, I don't want anyone to be caught off guard, Swirly Summer break begins after Friday's episode. Um, Patreon will of course be lit up with content. You can—

what I was just thinking about, like, because we did all the kids except for Max, and I was like, but Max—

Paxton, Paxton, Paxton.

First of all, there's a child named Paxton in the house, and also what we we actually call him is Gaga.

Gaga. Like I said, not English.

Olivia hadn't seen us in a while, and since the last time she saw us, like, Max's name has become like abbreviated down to Gags the Gaginator.

Mr. Gagerson.

She was like shocked when she heard me call him— like, I was just in a conversation just being like, can you take Gags? And she was like, you really call him Gags? I was like, yeah, yeah, I guess I do. I didn't even notice that. I didn't know that was happening.

Oh, we did.

That the gaginator. Yes, Gagerson's has been thoroughly gagged.

Yes. Yeah. Um, what are the stories like today? Stories I saw—

did you—

I don't know if you guys saw, Brooke Snader commented on our reel.

I did not see it.

I appreciate her candor. She said like she was with her sister living it up, like her dad like was there but like he wasn't there, and she had no idea the photos were being taken, or her words, she would have sucked in her stomach.

She said she's so real. She said, you queen, time to come home, Bruxie.

Time to come home. Although I feel like she's like weeks away from coming.

Yeah, she's never coming home.

Yeah.

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Thank you, /Turt.

A pleasure.

Our first story, Vogue September issue cover is here. Yeah, and it requires a lot of context, so I'm going to share it with you. So on this month's—

year's Vogue September issue, which is like always like a bigger deal than the other issues.

Yes, it's the big issue, the kickoff of like fashion month.

This is like a huge honor.

It's the biggest issue.

Yeah.

Uh, we have Kaia Gerber and Homer Gere. So Homer Gere is the son of Richard Gere. Kaia Gerber is the daughter of Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber. And not only were Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford married for a couple years in the '90s, they shot a cover together. Iconic. An iconic cover together 34 years before this cover. Additionally, Kaya and Homer, the children, are in The Shards together. So this is a nod to the past and also a promotion for The Shards.

I think that this is so crazy because I have to tell you, nobody's talking about The Shards. Like, there are actually a lot of shows that are super buzzy right now, Sterling Point being one of them, because it's episodic right now.

It's coming out on FX.

Even before that, like, I'm like, I just, I don't feel like it's gonna be literally like it's been a day. I don't know, like Off Campus in a Day was popular. Like, they should have had Belmont Camelli and what's her name, Hannah— is that her name?

Ella Bright.

Ella Bright. They should have had them on the COVID Um, I just want to say, like, I personally don't think this is iconic.

No. So I have a lot of, um, notes, and it actually is reminding me of something that Nigel said in Devil Wears Prada 2 because he was talking about budget cuts, and he was saying, like, back in the day I used to get 2 weeks in Africa in the Sahara with Richard Avedon and now I'm lucky to get 2 days at Milk Studios, right? And this is giving Milk Studios.

It is like, it's not on location, it's not fabulous, it's great.

What is this picture?

No, it's so true.

And then when you go to the previous one, like, they're on the beach, they're on set, like, it's much more eye candy.

And I don't want to be mean, but like, no offense, like, being nepo obviously gets you far, but like, I never heard of you up until this point, and like, that gets you the COVID of the September issue, like Not to be like a nepo hater, but that's kind of crazy.

That is nepotism. No, I'm sorry, like, like this—

nepotism is like getting your ass in the door. Kaia is a good example of nepotism. Like, she puts in the work, she should be on the September cover. Who's this rando? Yeah, just because your dad's Richard Gere?

No, he's on the COVID because his dad is Richard Gere, and because his dad did the COVID 34 years ago. That's nepotism.

I hate that.

That is nepotism. Hey, um, so the COVID the interior photos are just like not giving anything. Like —like, can we—

though you are 100% right about like the location, this gray backdrop in the middle of— it's probably like in Brooklyn. Like, it's so not fabulous.

The COVID of the September issue is on something we could shoot in here.

And sorry, like, not to be that person, in the age of AI, like, you have no excuse. Make it look like we're on a beach. Do better if you can't afford it.

Now for the positives, let's talk about Kaia Gerber. Let's, because she is so dazzling. She's doing a lot of press, gorgeous and poised. And perfect, really. And she really also like has personality.

Not to, you know, put models in a box, but she's very intellectual. Yeah, she has her book club, of course. We know she reads like—

did this series of like her 5 favorite books. Did you see this video?

No, but I've heard you talk about it before.

No, no, it was 2 days ago. I saw this video. Someone asked her her 5 favorite books, and like all of them were like something that you read for like your core curriculum in college, like Kant. Yeah, you know, like insane. Yeah. Um, and nothing I've read, of course.

And she's just so highbrow. Yeah, but she's also like like she went on, uh, Therapuss, and like you have to be like funny and like a little lowbrow, you know, to like engage with culture. And she knew every— she was funny, she was talking about other celebrities, comedians that she thinks are funny. Like she definitely is like a well-rounded girl.

She is someone who like should marry into a royal family because she can carry herself like as a royal.

Who is she currently dating? Is she still with Lewis Pullman? Yeah, that's cute. Yeah, fine. Um, I just hate this cover, like, especially because, like, maybe— well, I guess time will tell if, like, this becomes an iconic show. But, like, in terms of shows that are having a moment and couples that, like, we're obsessed with, like, it's not these two. No, like, it's not. No, I can't.

And, and, like, who is this guy?

Literally. Except you never meet anyone named Homer these days. I will say that.

That's a nice name. But Richard Gere could name his children, like, anything because, like, because he's Richard Gere. Cover. And yeah, it's crazy, like we never saw him before and now he's on the September issue cover. And while Kaya is literally a copy and paste of her mother— yeah, actually sometimes you can't even tell the difference. Like when you zoom in on this photo, it's true, it looks like an old photo of Cindy Crawford.

Also, is there an element of this that's weird because like their parents were married?

Like, like that's your ex? A little bit, right? But it must just be all good. It must be all good. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's not like I ever saw this cover before that that it's so iconic that we had to recreate it.

The thing is, if I don't know the reference— and again, like, I'm obviously not like a big fashion magazine reader, I don't know the archives— but like, I'm a well-rounded person when it comes to culture, and I know, I know certain Vogue covers. This one did not ring a bell.

You know what, it must have been iconic at the time because like they are married on the COVID of Vogue. They're like Kim and Kanye, this deal. November 1992. I was busy being born when that came out, and I was busy just being an egg. And it's crazy that this was a November issue to have like the hottest couple like together, beachside, party portrait. For it for a November issue in 1992, and now this is what constitutes September.

It's true. I would have rather seen Richard and Cindy up there shaking that thing. Yeah, I'm just— I'm very uninspired by the whole thing, not to be negative, especially because for the most part, like, they usually get it right with the September issue. Like, it's always the person who's like having a moment that year, whether it's like Adele. Like, they always kind of— when it comes to celebrity, like, they get This is bad. Oh, is this this girl Chloe's first one?

I do wonder. Is it her first?

I think it's been less than a year, so yeah. Tsk, tsk, Chloe Milley. Yeah. Candace Bergen's daughter.

Berges? Yeah, like this would have been like in another day, like just a cute editorial. Inside. Inside the September issue. No, it's really, it's not my favorite. Mm-mm. Our next story, some very sweet news. Rihanna shares rare photos with all of her 3 kids as they visit the Barbados street where she grew up, which is now named after her.

Rihanna Way.

Rihanna Way. Where do you live?

Oh, I live at 67 Rihanna Way. Yes.

So once called Westbury New Road, the street has since been renamed Rihanna Drive in her honor and deemed a cultural landmark. In the photos that she shared, which included her, um, 3 kids, RZA, 4, Riot, 3, and her daughter Rocky Irish, who turns 1 next month. Month. So cute. Yeah, when she usually doesn't show them, or like, oh, does she not? Like, I feel like I've seen a bunch of pictures of them when they go out, paparazzi. Yeah, like, she doesn't like post like family, right? So like, this was really cute to see.

And I guess she's back home in Barbados. Yeah, I seriously love her. Yeah, that's our mama, Queen Mama, right there. Um, in terms like Rihanna, like, ever making music again, not to like bring it up, I just feel like every time we talk about her, like, it is worth with? Because for a while she was like, it's coming, it's coming, but like, it's not, right?

No, I think, um, ASAP Rocky said something about it the other day. I didn't like choose it as a story because like I can't have this conversation again, right? And I'm not putting pressure on a new mama who I do feel very like— I feel very simpatico with you guys on a similar timeline. Like our kids are the exact same ages. Um, so if someone was like telling me to get in the studio, uh, uh, like I would never do that to her. Of course. Um, because she's just sort of like my, my twin flame. I would say we're twin flames. Unlikely, but we're literally on the same timeline. We need to have a playdate.

A thousand percent. Yeah, I love that.

I love thinking like mama friends who like I have the exact same age as. Like when I meet someone or I know someone who I'm like the exact same— I'm like, when you're in town, we have to have a playdate.

Yeah, and that's like a good way to make celebrity friends.

Yeah, for sure. There's a couple celebs that are like exact same.

Love that. Yeah, yeah, like me, Lauren, Lena, Olivia Culpo.

You guys need to have a playdate. Coolest crew in town. You need to have a playdate. Um, so this is so sweet, and she said, you know, life is so trippy, trippy how life works, and the glory still and will always belong to the Almighty Creator.

Facts on facts. She also said, you know, sometimes she forgets she's just that girl from Barbados. Yeah, it's like JLo when she said, you know—

oh my gosh, I ruined my sweater.

That's what you get for copying me.

I'm just having a morning.

No. Yes, you have a bug bite on your face.

I left I couldn't find my straw. This cup has like one of those shit holes, but it's better than nothing because if I didn't have a straw, what would I do? I didn't have time to make my espresso at home. I'm sorry, George Clooney. George Clooney. I'll blame George for that.

Um, now I have George Glass.

He's George Glass now.

She goes, oh, she's George Glass now.

Hold on, I just seem to like, I now need to like drink without drinking.

Take your break.

Yeah, like I need to.

Yeah, perhaps like a song break while, oh, she's done.

Maybe a Rihanna song. I, and I already know what you're going to sing and I want to just like submit my guess.

Okay, and you're not going to guess the most random song?

Close your eyes. Just keep in mind.

Okay, I'm going to sing it. Ready? Okay. That's got me feeling this way, it beats me black and blue, but but it loves me so good and I can't get enough. Must be— oh, did you think I was going to sing 4 or 5 Seconds?

Drinking—

did you think I was going to sing 4 or 5 Seconds from Wildin'? And we got 3 more days till Friday. We do. I'm just trying to make it back home by Monday morning. I swear I wish somebody would tell me I've been getting like lowkey a lot of hate for my singing.

I know, you've seen it too, right? I have. Like, are you— do we have more haters, or is it like, are you singing worse? What is it?

I'm definitely not singing worse, but thanks for bringing that up. Um, I don't know, I just think like with great power comes great responsibility. Yeah. And to my detractors, just know for every hate comment, it only fuels my vocal cords even more. So keep engaging. Must be love on the brain.

That's got— you know what, I have to pick up my dry cleaning today. Maybe I'll drop this off and put on this. Do a quick switcheroo. Put on my new sweater.

Love that. Although I don't think like a small coffee stain is like a whole dry clean requirement. Like just like a little soap and water. It's like my new sweater.

Yeah, just like a new sweater deserves the best.

Yeah, I actually see another— you got it like right by the bear's ear too.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna take it to the dry cleaners. Like, I don't know, because yeah. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? A little chip news.

Chip and Joe, or someone has a chip on their shoulder, or like chips food?

Ding, ding, ding. Khloe Kardashian's KLOUD expands functional snack line. It's not popcorn. Yeah. No, like KLOUD Plus, I guess.

Or KLOUD Foods, I think it is.

Yeah. It's expanding its functional snack line with collagen-infused chips. So KLOUD Plus is the name, and the brand is debuting a new line of collagen protein chips available in Sweet Heat, Nacho, and Buffalo flavor packs.

So the thing is about KLOUD Popcorn is that I was like a hater when it came out. I was like, we don't need protein in everything. And then, um, I got PR, I tasted it, it was delicious. Like, I was not lying. I never had it again. It's so popular. But I really stand by, like, we don't need, like, supplements in everything. So yeah, like collagen chips. The thing is, her shit does so well. Cloud Popcorn is such a success. Like, I'm sure this will be too. I feel like, seriously, who the fuck needs collagen chips? Yeah, but people love this product. Like, it is so popular. I have been— I get I guess proven wrong, although I still believe what I believe.

Yeah, you can. And I like that where it's like you— everyone's disagreeing with you, but like the facts disagree. But it's not even a belief, it's like that's your personal taste, you know? And yeah, it's, it's subjective.

And like when I'm looking for protein, like maybe I'm just crazy, I like to go sort of like to the source. Of course, meat. And then of course that always can't be like— you can't always sit down with a T-bone, so like a bar, okay, like a shake, sure. Popcorn. Like, that's crazy. Yeah, same with collagen.

Yeah, I, and I'm sure this was like thoroughly— no, Jackie, it's gonna be a huge success— like research, of course, into like what people want in their chips and like what people need. And so I'm sure there's like all this information that I don't know. But yeah, I just like, I'll have a Sun Chip, you know.

But it does also make me realize, like, she puts her whole cloud de ciel into this. She's like not involved with Good American anymore, right? Not in a meaningful way. And I don't even think it's in her bio anymore. There were like rumors about her and Evergreen, and then they like sort of shut it down. But I'm sorry, like, she doesn't wear it anymore. She used to be like choosing the good squad. Yeah, I don't know, like, I'm happy she's having a lot of success with this because like I want the best for my, my swirl. Yeah, me too. Oh no, in her bio it's only about her perfume.

XO Blue, now available. And this is so her, like, you know, this is so on brand. I think like people like want to knock the Kardashians for just selling anything, but there are some like— no, she's protein girl. There are some brands that they've put out that are so synergistic to who they are.

So the chips also are protein chips, but these ones also have collagen.

Oh yes, they are protein chips plus collagen. Yes, there will be 17 grams of protein with 2 grams of hydrolyzed collagen. Um, and the comments are like so excited.

When is this coming to the UK?

Like, Khloe said, I've been taking collagen as part of my wellness routine for years. It's everywhere right now, but it's usually something you have to remember to take as a powder or supplement. I love that we were able to put it into a snack you already want to reach for. It's one less thing to think about. Okay, I guess I don't take collagen. Me neither, so I'll eat it. I'll get it from my chips. Okay, I guess it like makes sense, like why not?

That's what I'm saying, like people will use this and it will be good. I just feel like if I'm like taking stuff, like I'm just gonna take it, you know? Right, like I'm gonna drink it or I'm gonna take Take it. Take it. Actually, you know, I was at the Walgreens yesterday and I was in the, I was waiting in line for the checkout and I was like, they like, you know, the line like went all the way back so I'm like standing in an aisle and I was in like the supplements aisle. Let me tell you, they got a supplement for everyone and every, for your teens, for your kids. They also sell the Flintstones, you know that?

Yeah, but they're not what they used to be, the Flintstones.

In a good way, like? No.

Like we all took the Flintstones growing up, and then I think they reformulated, and then we all never took them again.

They reformulated to bad?

I think so. Just, we took— we all— and I'm not just saying you and I, like the whole world took them. Yeah.

And then we didn't. And it's crazy because like, do kids these days even know who the Flintstones are? Like, is there a modern—

Flintstones, meet the Flintstones, they're your modern family.

With the Flintstones. That one, the movie with Halle Berry and John Goodman, like, so fucking good.

So good. But that's what I mean.

I don't even know if there's been like a recent TV show or movie. Like, why would the kids know? Why would they be excited about Flintstones? That's like—

I think we're due for a Flintstones reboot.

Okay, who's our modern-day Fred? Fred Belmont? Come on, like someone like— because it's supposed to be like big and manly.

And I guess he's like a young dad. Like Fred, you mean? Yeah, like he has young kids. Pebbles and Bam Bam. Because I was gonna say like like, I don't know, Vince Vaughn or something. But like, no, no, we need someone in his 30s. You know, John Goodman is young.

Okay, wait, let me see. So I just need to look at pictures of that. I mean, no, like in the original cartoons, like he does look like a dad. Like, that's not Bill Montgomery.

No, but, but think about what— how old he is. Like, Emma Roberts is our Wilma for sure, but he is probably in his 30s. However, in the caveman days, I think they aged faster. Totally.

Yeah, because they have two young kids. So yeah, maybe he's like mid-30s.

Yeah, well, actually, if they're cavemen, he might be in his 20s because they didn't have birth control and they got married younger because lifespans were shorter.

Who's our Fred Flintstone? And then of course we have Barney, and what's his wife's name? Betty. She's so cutie. Yeah, Betty.

That guy who played Barney Rubble, like, is Barney Rubble, period.

Bring him back from the dead. Did he ever do anything else? Yeah, of course. He's from, um, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. He's Barney Rubble, the dad. Yeah. Oh, and I'm sorry, Rosie O'Donnell is his wife, right? She's in Betty. That's such a good movie. And it was like perfectly— I'm sure if I watched it now I would be like, well, CGI, I could do better. But like the world they built, the world that they built with the quarry. Yep. And like everything being made of rock.

Yeah, because it was the Stone Age, but it just felt very modern. They're your modern Stone Age family.

We need a Flintstones reboot. Like they're always looking for shit to reboot.

Yeah, we really do.

It's a timeless tale. Yeah. Yeah, and like, who are we gonna bring in? Fall Out Boy to like do the—

oh, they would love to get like a rock version, or like, when you're with the Rolling Stones. Who's that guy who does all the Spidey music? Patrick Stump. Is he Fall Out Boy, or— I don't know, you know, he does all the Spidey music.

Yeah, that's why, that's why I said Fall Out Boy.

Yeah, I think that's Fall Out Boy.

Pete Wentz. You're right, Patrick Stump when you're with the Flintstones. Yeah, so good.

Bring back the Flintstones. Bring back the Flintstones. We're ready. Yeah, we've been starved of them.

I just don't think those vitamins are flying off the shelf.

Not until they bring back the Flintstones.

Yeah, like, why would a kid be excited about that? Yeah, they should—

like, we should put it on for the kids and like see. The Flintstones? Yeah, low—

what is low stim? Low stim. It's like not highly saturated. Everything's like kind of gray. Yeah, approved content. The Flintstones, John Goodman version.

Okay, ready for our next story? Some more biz news, actually.

If it's our next story, biz news that's brought to you by Wayfair. Oh yeah. So if you're looking for quality value and furniture, or really anything for your home, I, Turdy Lou, really recommend you checking out Wayfair and also joining the Wayfair Rewards today. So So when it comes to back to school season, right? We're refreshing, we wanna start the year off fresh. We want our houses clean and organized. We want our kids' rooms squared away. Well, Wayfair's the place to find anything you could possibly need to kick your school year off in a partialicious kind of way. So any home challenge you might have, Wayfair can solve it for your budget, for your size. You can literally shop for like nightstands that are, you can filter it to be like less than 31 inches if you have like a random little corner. It's the most amazing place to shop. Shop, you get amazing reviews from fellow customers, seeing how they purchased it, how they liked it, how they styled it. You can join the Wayfair Rewards program today to get 5% back on every purchase. You can start saving on your next home upgrade.

So head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. So embrace the new season with cozy fall home upgrades from Wayfair. Today's episode is also brought to you by Quince. Does anyone else feel like August is the Sunday of summer? Well, it's a perfect time to hit reset before the autumn rush, and for us, that always starts with our wardrobe. Quince proves that you do need a crowded closet to look incredible. You just need the right pieces. So they specialize in effortless, high-quality essentials like ultra-soft organic cotton, premium Mongolian cashmere sweaters. They're beautifully tailored, built to last, and transition seamlessly from morning meetings to dinner. Quince also has premium stretch denim starting at just $50, with the kind of perfect fit, structure, and weight that you'd expect from a luxury designer brand. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories. They cut out the middleman, so you the customer are just paying for quality, not a brand markup. Up. Plus, they don't just do apparel. They bring that same everyday elevation to everything they offer, like hotel-quality bedding and bath, kitchen staples, essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture.

I have things from, like, Quince obviously in my wardrobe, like trousers, cardigans, like linen sets, but also stuff in my house. People also love their suitcases. I haven't tried that yet, but I have great, um, curtains from Quince. Everything they make is really good and really affordable. So upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com/toast. You can get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK as well. That's quince, q-u-i-n-c-e.com/toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by Primal Kitchen. Oh, we've been cooking so much, actually. It's been a very Primal Kitchen summer. So they're a brand that's on a mission to change the way that the world eats. They were the first brand to bring avocado oil to sauces and condiments. They're the fastest growing salad dressing brand in the US. We love them. Their sauces and condiments are made for real food with real food. So if you're on a health journey to either like cut back or eat a little bit more whole, be more conscious about your ingredients, a lot of people forget about all the stuff on the refrigerator door, like your sauces, condiments, salad dressings.

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Thank you, Turt Drift. You're welcome. Our next story, some biz news. Alex Cooper and Matt Kaplan's Unwell Media company has been valued at $500 million after an investment from Patrick Whitesell's WTSL. Wait, I didn't hear about this.

Yeah, I thought you're gonna say Alex Earle invested in Symbiotica, which I saw all over yesterday. Yeah, I thought that's what you're talking about.

No, I saw that.

Wait, that's really interesting. It is interesting because I do feel like I think as of like a couple of months ago, in at least how I perceive their success, I've only felt that they have started to become like a profitable good company in the last 3 months. And maybe that's because we've only started to see the fruits of like the shows coming out on— well, Winter Games, which was popular, all the books that she's adapting. Like, she's doing a lot of TV now because I feel like for the first 5 years of this company's inception, they were like trying to become a podcast network, and they don't have one successful podcast besides Call Her Daddy. So I feel like that's a high evaluation.

It is a high valuation, and I think this is their first outside investment. Also, I think the most interesting part of the whole thing is, do you know who Patrick Whitesell is? I don't. And who he used to be married to?

Okay, show me a picture of Patrick Whitesell. I— maybe it'll ring a bell. Is he a businessman?

Yes, he is. He, um, used to work at William Morris A very high level.

He used to be married to—

and he used to be married to Lauren Sanchez Bezos. Of course, Patrick Whitesell. Uh-huh.

T. Lauren Nicole Sanchez Bezos on Call Her Daddy. When? Never. Now. Um, wow, that's interesting. I didn't know what he did for a living, but like, good for him.

Yeah, he— yeah, no, he worked at WME for like a very long time. I think he recently left, and now he has an investment firm, WTSL.

And how do you come up with a valuation of $500 million? That means it's what— on Shark Tank they say it's 7 times your revenue.

Is that what they say in Shark Tank?

Something like that, yeah. Okay, so that means that their revenue— what's 500 divided by 7? I'm so nosy. Come on.

Um, we have calculators on our phones. I'm gonna guess like 60. Well, then also you have to think about like the— that makes sense because we all know like what Call Her Daddy makes in a year because of those deals. Oh, but do you think that the 71—

that was a good guess. Do you think that the earnings from Unwell include Call Her Daddy?

I do. I think that the payout goes to Alex, but like they wrap it up into Unwell's numbers. Interesting. Why wouldn't they?

Yeah, right.

Interesting, because Call Her Daddy is an Unwell production, right?

So anyways, I guess like everyone's attempt, attempt to take her down, the assassination attempt was has failed. Failed. Like, I feel like now we can call it. Yeah. Even though I know we still have Sophia's book coming out and I know we have Alex Earl's show coming out, I feel like this kind of proved— because like the internet turned on Alex Cooper 100% at once. Like, it was insane. And it really did not affect her standing in culture and her ability to get great guests and produce TV shows that people are excited about. So yeah, maybe more stuff will come out, but I really don't think there's anything that could happen like the worst is definitely behind her.

No, and sort of like the— her status as an influencer is sort of above public opinion. It doesn't rely on it. It's much more like industry-focused. She's not like an influencer who's just like at the helm of her followers.

Well, that is sort of like what we were saying, like the fact that she's this like online personality who we kind of know nothing about. Like she doesn't share anything about her personal life, which I feel like was a conscious choice to like have some of like binary life between work, and it was really smart. Um, and yeah, it kind of makes you like not susceptible to like these campaigns. Yeah. So I guess, uh, the verdict is in. Yes, Alex Cooper stays. Sorry, guys.

Um, are you ready for our fifth and final story? Actually, some exciting news. I don't know if you've seen this yet, but Chicago on Broadway— not breaking— I did see this. Chicago on Broadway has found its new Roxie Hart. In the form of former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Reese Weaver, the breakout star of DCC America's Sweethearts.

And the sort of, um, shock of the century was that this season she announced, like, on social media she's, like, not returning. Um, so yeah, people loved her from that show. She did it twice, or how many seasons has it been? Twice? Yeah, she was at DCC for 2 years, and she was beloved by, like, Judy and the team, Kelly, and the fans. She definitely could have made it again, but she, like, decided not to. She got, like, a little bit of hate for it. People thought it was her husband and like sort of wanting her to like be home and she had to like speak, being like, what are you guys talking about?

Like, stop. No, and now she's going to Broadway. Right. So still not home.

I wonder why she didn't return like 1 or 2 more years to the Dallas Cowboys. Maybe just like wasn't worth all the work. You know they get paid like $3.

Well, they got raises in the last season. I think also her star just like blew up from the show and so she's gonna spend like her prime working years like doing DCC when she could be doing all of these opportunities. I don't know, but I also think like a lot of girls do it for like 2 or 3 years, but she was meant to be like the next face of the franchise, like Team Captain 1000%, that because she, she was gonna end up like working there, like replacing Kelly and Judy. Like, she was like the best one. And maybe if there had been no show ever and she just— that's the career she joined DCC, like she would have stayed longer. But she has so many opportunities, I'm sure she wants to take advantage of them. And yeah, it's, it's a tenure.

Ah, um, and I'm not like one— I don't really— I've never seen Chicago on Broadway. I don't like keep up with Broadway a lot unless it's like Lea Michele in Funny Girl. But I have found these Roxy castings to just be— and I know they've been doing them for a while, like Erika Jayne did it, Ariana Maddox. Like, I did not care. To me it seemed like a fake Broadway show that like no one was going to see. But now since Whitney, I don't know why, it's just like I'm kind of obsessed. Like, who's next? Yeah. And Mark Ballas is still there.

Yeah, but it's been that way for— it's always like a cultural touch point, and I think it was going to be hard to replace Whitney because she was huge. But I think Reese is an amazing choice. I think people will love to see her sing. I don't know, but from my understanding, like, Roxy doesn't sing that much.

No, and it's like talk singing. And from my understanding, Whitney didn't really sing before either, but they train you. And yeah, if you carry it, barring any like, like illness where you can't hear, like tone deaf where anyone can sing.

Yeah, I agree. You can carry a tune. And I think she's, she's an incredible dancer. She has that Whitney factor of just like showmanship where you just love to watch them dance. And I think she's really like— they couldn't have crushed this.

Oh, and I never would have guessed this. No. Speaking of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, please tell me you saw Miranda's performance. No. What are you talking— you know, we talked about it a little while ago. Miranda from Salamau is going to be doing music. Yes, yes.

She has a song. Like, she had FU.

Yeah, um, she had like a little performance in Utah. It was like an influencer event. They must be filming it. It looked like pretty legit where she was on stage with a band and she sang her song. Okay, um, Miranda Hope singing live. You have to see. Ready? Okay.

No, I want to see. Turn your phone.

Oh, okay. Here, wait, take it, take it and put it in the microphone. Okay. Wanna say my ink kinda sugarcoated today, so fuck you for that. Let the couch pay it out for ya, medicating for panic attacks, fuck you for that. Shit-faced on the well, the man begging me to take you back, fuck you for that, for that, for that, fuck you for that.

And I went into the comments, but what were you gonna say? Nothing. Oh, but you said you have to see Miranda's performance. Do you agree that was must-see TV? Yes, yes.

And I just thought we never closed the loop because we said she was releasing a song.

People are so savage.

I want to say, like, putting yourself out there on a stage, like, obviously that sounded bad, but like, no, not even that.

I was actually—

I can kind of hear that, like, she might have a good voice.

I think she sounded fine.

It's very hard to sing live, like, with live music. She sounded fine.

We need to work on the stage presence, that's all. She sounds fine. No, like, the song is bad, I guess.

Fuck you for that, for the number one comment.

I hate it. I don't even want to read the comments.

Show me. What does it say?

It's awful. But other than that, I hated it. I don't endorse that comment. It's just a funny thing to say. Yeah, it And I stand by the fact I think she has a nice voice. I don't think she sounds bad there. No, I think that like nerves—

she's literally performing on the side of a highway for some reason.

And people are like, it's the random lines or the southern accent for me.

Like, she needs work, but like honestly, I feel like when you see her playing Roxie Hart on Broadway—

I think she's doing the right thing. She has a nice voice. No one in Slamu is doing this, and I think we need a country star in Slamu, and I completely support her even though I just left. Agreed, by the way.

Just because it was— I like you for that. For that, for that.

No, and this song—

I'm sorry, like, make fun of the girl who put herself out there creatively. Like, what are you doing sitting at home? Like, it's true. Like, it takes balls of fucking steel to sing in person. Like, you're not like a singer. Trust me, I know. I went on The Masked Singer, you guys.

Oh man, maybe she'll go on Masked Singer. She should love that. She should. Yeah.

Or the show Celebrity Voice, which I'm obsessed with.

When does it premiere? You know who I was thinking of who would be good for the next Let's Marry? Who? Let's marry Jesse Solomon, my king right there.

No, Jesse Solomon knows like when he's ready to get married, I'll take care of it, you know. I have such a nice—

I have a like a list of Jewish girls for him, even though I do stand by the fact that even though he says he's ready, he is not ready.

No, when I tell you that I love Jesse Solomon more than anything and I wouldn't set him up with my worst enemy, like he is definitely a nightmare.

Yeah, no, he's not. He says he's ready, like his actions don't match up with his words. 100%. Um, I haven't seen that to be true of Harry Jowsey, and I have yet to see an apology to Lexi.

So until that day comes, Lexi should like go on Love Island.

I was thinking she should get back in the circuit.

I feel she's been vindicated in a small way.

Yeah, but I think she should try also—

like, while a lot of the cast members owe her an apology, like, so do the fans. The fans were so awful to her.

Yeah, but that's what the fans do. Fuck you. Cast members like should have each other's backs a little more.

Yes, absolutely.

Fans are wishy-washy. But she's like perfect for reality TV. She's so gorgeous and perfect looking, and she has like a cute personality and great energy. I feel like if she went on Love Island, like everyone would fall in love with her because she's like a positive, lovely person.

Like, guys, like, like all— like they were all shook when she walked in the house. Like, she has that like hot girl thing.

Yeah, but also when it comes down to like personality, because like the Andrina effect, uh-huh, um, she's got the— she does. She does. She has a really good personality. Fuck you for that. Um, those are our Fast Five stories. I feel as though you need to know them. I had a marvelous time.

Thank you so much for being here, and we're back tomorrow. Not that I'm counting, but it is— will be our second to last episode of Surly Summer. Just want to make sure everyone knows. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast. Oh, emoji for the day! What do we talk about today? I always have like amnesia when we take a look back.

I always have amnesia, period. What was in the beginning?

Like, Mary Harry, I watched your Ultimate Girls Trip. What was the first story? Look at mine. Okay, oh, oh yeah, let's make fun of Vogue. Let's do like a magazine. Is there a magazine emoji? Let me check. Let me just triple check. Is there a magazine emoji? No, there's not. Um, okay, well, I'm just like looking through my most recently used emoji. Perhaps the tractor?

Perhaps the tractor to signify all of the fun farm that we've done for Sperley Summer, or all of our detractors.

Chills. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Morning Show. We deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. If you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe, give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast on our podcast feed on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, wherever you listen to podcasts. Find us at Toasting Fast TV, about a beautiful, stunning weekly town to be in. Hope you guys have an amazing hump day, and we'll see you tomorrow. Love ya, bye!