Transcript of My Fiancé Won't Give Me Access To Any Of Our Money

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Normal is broke and common sense is weird. We're here to help you transform your life. From the Fairwinds Credit Union studio in the Ramsey Network, this is the Ramsey Show. We are here to help you. I'm joined by Rachel Cruz. I'm George Campbell. Open phone lines at 888-825-5225. Jennifer is going to kick us off in Colorado Springs. What's going on, Jennifer?

Hi. I was calling because I wanted to know how I can save money or make money as a stay-at-home mom who has no access to money. My fiancé is the one that is in charge of all the financial aspects of our lives, and any time I need any type of money, I have to ask So that's my question. How can I make or save money without any other form of accessing money?

I don't think that is the solution to this problem. And you know that, too. This is a bandaid, that you have to go make money as a stay-at-home mother because he doesn't give you any access. How long has this been going on?

It's always been on and off since I became a stay-at-home mom six years ago.

Six years? Yes. Goodness gracious. Okay. When you say he controls the finances, you have no access to the bank accounts?

No, none whatsoever. If I need money for groceries, for the kids, for myself, then I have to ask for it, and it has to be the exact amount that I'm spending.

Okay. And Jennifer, I'm sure throughout six years, you have asked him for access, correct?

Yeah, I've asked him for access, and I've asked him for maybe even an allowance.

And what does he say? What does he say when you're like, Hey, I need access to our checking. I need a debit card. I need to be able to live. What does he say?

It's 100 % no. If I want, he can give me some allowance, but 100 % no access to his account.

What's causing you to stay in this relationship? Besides the obvious, you guys have kids together and everything, but what has caused you to be in functioning like this for six years?

Honestly, I'm not too sure.

You'd be better off getting alimony and child support. At least that's forced through the courts, and you can do what you want with the money without having an adult chaperone.

I've heard that before. I've been told that before.

Yeah. So, Jennifer, you're in a pretty toxic relationship that probably goes beyond money.

This is financial abuse. Is it? There's no other way to say it.

Yeah. Okay. You're two adults that are in basically a marriage. You're not legally married, but you You have kids together. You've been together for six years. One of you is a stay-at-home parent, and you don't have... There's no shared equity in the household. He doesn't trust you or respect you. You're a child. You're basically a child to him, is how It's how he's functioning in the relationship.

At least the babysitter gets paid without having to ask. This is the crazy part. That he's made you think this is normal and it's okay. It's just, Well, this is just the way he is. He's a little controlling sometimes.

And then his thing is, at me asking is me telling him, but it doesn't feel that way.

No, it doesn't feel that way because that's not true. So I want to know from you, Jennifer, What's causing you to stay with this man?

I'm not too sure. I think maybe the children, if I'm being completely honest. Yeah.

So I think it's a bigger question for you, Jennifer, on what do you want life to look like in the next two years, five years, 10 years for you. And that's a really, really scary question, I think always, because what the answer is, what I think you know what the answer is, is going to mean a lot of hard and new change in your life. And so if I were you, how old are your kids?

6, 4, and 1.

Oh, gosh. Okay. If I woke up in your shoes, yes, you're going to need money to be able to get out. And so I would start looking, probably today. When here's the horrible thing is if he finds out, what's he going to say? Does he tell you to go get a job? Is he like, You need to go make your own money? Or what would his response be for you having a job?

Oh, no. No hesitation. He says, If you want to get a job, go ahead. It doesn't bother me. The only thing is you'd have to pay for childcare because you're the one that wants the job.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you have to get a job and pay for childcare on your own because that was your decision? Yes. This man is insane. Do you hear yourself?

I do.

Does he abuse you just verbally and emotionally, or is there more?

No, there isn't more.

Well, there's enough where that came from.

Well, so, yeah, you're going to... I would be finding a way to make money, Jennifer. You need to set up your own checking account, and you need to have a plan on what does this look like to get out of this relationship. Depending on the state, there's some type of common law marriage, depending on, and I think it's state by state. But even if you decided to leave in some states, I don't know Colorado's laws, that you actually, it could be seen as basically a common law marriage.

You'd be entitled to assets.

Yes. That you could actually go through proceedings and get something, right? If you guys have a house together, cars, checking account, retirement accounts, all of it. So I would look into that thing. If leaving, which is what... Either this needs to be fixed on a radical level, which you can't fix him, but either the relationship has to have a complete 180 of full repentance and him pleading for your forgiveness because of what he's done to you. Horrible. It's horrible. Or you're going to have to make a better decision for yourself, Jennifer.

Yeah.

So yeah, I would be opening up my own checking account. If there's a way to work from home for a little bit and get an income in and create some stability, and then whatever that next move is for you, at least that gives you a pad to step out on so you're not just drowning with no money, right? Having some resources is going to be helpful.

Yeah. Do you have any friends, family, church that could help support you through this?

I do, but it's something I don't wish to- You may have to.

Burden on them. No, it's not a burden.

You're not a burden. If they love you, they will be so happy that you ask for help in your time of need.

Yeah, this would be the time to get as many resources as possible around you, Jennifer.

And you believe lies too long, that you're a burden, that no one has to deal with this. It's just my burden to bear. It's all lies that he's put in your mind. You believe them for so long that you don't know another way. You don't know another life. But I think you deserve better, don't you?

I totally do. I totally think I deserve better. I think that's another reason why I haven't stepped out is because I will literally walk out with what I have on my back.

Yeah. That's where friends, family, and community really step up, too. Right. I would leaning into those conversations, and I would start thinking of who you want to be, Jennifer. I mean, honestly, when you look at just the world in which you can contribute from a career perspective, it's going to be huge. Which, and Ken's book, Find the Work You're Wired to Do, we're going to give you a copy of that. Just to get your mind, those wheels start to turn, because if you have not been in the workforce for an extended period of time, sometimes you forget. I'm like, Okay, what How do I enjoy? When am I passionate? How can I help? But that's a really big answer to a really urgent problem, though. So hear the urgency in us that this relationship is pretty damaged, and you don't need to be a part of it if it continues down the road like this.

Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens. One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing for their family, and then a curveball hits.

We hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes. Yeah, and that's why you've always said that having term life insurance from Xander is essential because it protects your family if the worst happens. Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage. No gimmicks, No whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long term disability insurance.

Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them. Life insurance steps in when you die. Disability insurance steps in while you're alive but can't work. So it replaces a large part of your income so the bills still get paid while you get back on your feet.

Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it. If it's discounted there at a better price, take it. But if not, Xander can help you find the right plan. Whether you're single or married, it's not optional. If you're going to be out of work for a while, then you need to make sure the money is still showing up.

That's why Xander is our go-to. They make it super simple to get the right coverage at the best price. No pressure, no upselling.

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Cj is in Phoenix up next. Welcome to The Ramsey Show, CJ. How can we help?

Yes. Hi, How are you doing? I thank you for hosting me. I wanted to get your input and ways to get out of my debt with the credit cards, student loans, and a card loan. And my house payments I think when I first got the house, I was making a certain amount of money, and I thought it was a good idea to get this two-story house. But per paycheck, it's been the house payments, what I was making a certain amount of money, and I thought it was a good idea to get this two-story house. But per paycheck, it's been the house payments. I Escrow. It's a whole check.

So it's half your income?

Half my income, yes, sir.

Your take home pay. Okay.

My take home pay, yes.

What do you make?

I make, before taxes, about $103,000.

Okay. Are you single?

Married. Married.

Okay. Is your spouse working outside of the home or at home?

She just had a baby, so she's not working currently.

Congrats. That's That's exciting. Thank you. Okay. What's your total debt?

My total debt with the house payment, I want to say- Not including the mortgage.

Just give us the consumer debt. Not the mortgage. You said car loan, credit card, student loans.

About a hundred and ten.

How much is the car loan?

The car loan is only $5,000. The bigger one is the credit card and the student loans.

What are those break out to be? How much are the student loans?

The student A credit loan is about 40,000 on the government one, and 5,000 on Texas loan. I think that's the private one. Okay. And the credit card comes out to be altogether about 60,000.

60,000. How many credit cards do you have?

It's five. Between five, it's the 60,000. Okay.

Well, what did the 60K get spent on on the credit cards? And over what period of time was this?

It's been over the last, I want to say it, about year and a half, where once I got the clinical coordinator position, not I got the pay. I came home as a full-time nurse to get this position, and I was doing a travel assignment, so I was getting paid more. So that's how I thought in my mind that I was just going stay together. I mean, for a good amount of time, traveling. But then we had our first kid, and I was off of home.

So your income went down, but your spending stayed high. The lifestyle creep never went away. And so you were just spending on the cards. Correct.

So the house payment was taking the one payment and to be able to make the paying of stuff- Speak directly on your phone, CJ.

We're having a hard time hearing you.

Oh, sorry. Okay. The So once I came full-time and the house payment was half of what? Half of one check per month, that's when I'll put it on the card, and hopefully I'll be able to pay it. And it was just paying it.

Oh, you're putting the mortgage on the card?

Not the mortgage. It was just everything else was on the card.

Everything else. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Oh, because you spent one full paycheck on the mortgage, and then anything else lifestyle just went on the card.

Yes, Yes, ma'am. Okay. Are you and your wife ready to have a very different life?

Yes, sir. We talked about it and we always listen to the show, and we always just talk about we need to do better. And with the credit cards, most of them are through Chase Bank, and I did call to tell them that I can't pay anymore. So they put me on the plan. But even with that is about just Chase alone is about 1,200 that I'm paying.

Okay, With everything, CJ, you're paid twice a month with the mortgage, the credit card bills, your regular utilities, I mean, everything. I'm assuming you're coming up short every month if you stayed current with all of your debt?

I do come short. I did pick up this year, I did pick up a home health job, which usually it's about four or $500 more per month. And that gives me the ability, like that, $500 to pay- That's what you need.

To stay, to keep your head above water. But that's it, though. There's nothing extra to be throwing at this debt to get out of it. That's just to pay the minimum payments.

Yes, ma'am. That's just month to month.

How many hours are you doing that extra job?

That's per patient. Okay. Right now, I have about three, four patients. Sometimes I'll tell them my day off, and they'll try to give me PRN jobs to just go see a patient, but they don't come often. It's not reliable.

Yeah. I mean, that's a good thing to have because I feel like it pays well. But I would have another side hustle because, yes, CJ, it's got to ship from the income perspective. I think you guys need to cut your lifestyle if you haven't already.

Yeah. No eating out, no investing, no saving. All we're doing is trying to pay down the smallest debt. So take that smallest credit card that you have, and we're going to knock that out. Or if it's the car loan, that's the smallest debt, or the student loan, we're knocking that balance out first and make minimums on the rest. We're going to try to stay current on all the bills and throw extra at the smallest debt we have. That's called the debt snowball method.

Which will either be that $5,000 private student loan or your $5,000 car, or if there's a credit card smaller than $5,000, you're going to attack that first.

Okay. Is there anything you could sell to come up with some cash to speed this up?

Everything else I've looked, and it would just be just minimal stuff. Shoes, but it's minimal.

What is the You said you owe five on it. What is it worth?

It's worth about 3,000. But the miles I have, I think right now, it's about 155,000 miles on it.

How long ago did your wife have the baby?

A couple of months ago.

Okay. I would have a goal for you guys because, again, $500 a month shifts. You guys, it's so helpful. So I'm thinking for her, what could she do from home to make 500 bucks a month? And that could include selling stuff. She could make a part-time job of selling your shoes, CJ, making some money. But for real, what can she do? And she doesn't have to start today, but maybe you guys look up and say, Okay, you're going to start working CJ extra. You're cutting lifestyle. And then we're going to look up, and I don't know how I'm making this up, June, she's going to start doing something through the end of the year, bringing home an extra five $500 to $1,000. I think as much income as you guys can get in rolling in, which is going to be exhausting, it's going to be so hard, it's so frustrating, but that's going to make you guys get out of debt that much faster because it's not fun, right, during this process of sacrifice. But you guys either have to do it really intensely and just go all in, or you just dabble around the edges and you guys will keep it around for another 4-5 years.

Because here's the truth. If we If you continue at this pace and you can only throw 100 or 200 bucks of this debt, you're going to be in debt for the rest of your life. That's why we're saying six-figure debt. You need a massive six-figure income to pay this off in a reasonable amount of time, 2, 3, 4 years. That's the goal here of intense sacrifice, not 20 years of just trying to make our way through and make the minimum payments while the interest racks up. So that's why we want you to have a sense of urgency to get this income up. And you've got a lot of skills that are very valuable. And so if you can go make 150 grand, 200 grand, and she makes another 50 grand, even if the kids are in daycare for a season, they will survive. The goal is for you guys to get above water here.

Okay. So getting our income up.

That's the key. Getting expenses down as much as we can. But even then, your income has to go up in order to knock this out quickly. Yes, sir. So hang on the line, CJ. I'm going to send you a copy of my book, Breaking Free from Broke, along with Every Dollar. That's our budgeting tool. And you and your wife, tonight, you're going to lay out, Here's our next paycheck. Here's all of our expenses. Here's our plan to make the most of every dollar. Yeah.

We always caution against moving. I mean, honestly, because it's such a big expense. It's like one of the biggest things to uproot your family out of a home. But I would consider it's Half of your income. Unless your main job, you're going to see significant raises in the next one, two, three years. If there's not, and it's looking pretty plateau, I mean, golly, that's an extra $2,000 if you get it under that to that for that 25 %. That's an extra two grand a month that you could save if you guys change your housing situation, which I know that's a big ask.

But it changes the whole timeline. It does. And you guys can become homeowners again once we're not broke. But right now, with that 50 % mortgage It's eating your lunch and hurting your ability to pay down the debt. So hang on the line, CJ. We're going to get you those resources. We're wishing you guys the best with this debt payoff.

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Up next, we've got Joseph in El Paso, Texas. What's going on, Joseph?

Hi. How's it going?

Great. How can Rachel and I help today?

Hi. I have a question, well, I guess a loaded question regarding a whole life insurance policy that I took out. I think that's what it's called. Okay. I took it out when I was 19. I'm 22 now, so it's been I would say two years and a half, almost three years, it would be three years in June. And I've put in a lot of money into it, and I've read a lot of stuff online and just gone back and forth. And I've gotten scared that I could have done something a lot better with my retirement, with my future and whatnot.

How much have you put in so far? You said a lot of money. What does that mean?

So in total, with payments and everything, I've put 21,000. Right now, there's the surrender charge of four grand or something like that that will go away to zero in a couple of years.

That's how they like it. They want to keep you on the hook and go, Man, if you just hang on, This thing, you got to really ride it out. Who sold this policy to you? It was someone you knew, right?

Yeah. So my mom was in the business of selling it, but it wasn't her. She left it. She's now doing something else. But But one of her close friends talked to me about it. I mean, it all sounds good and all. I got one that's for 300,000 with long term care in it. I had a lot of medical problems growing up. And so some of them still affect me to this day. So I just made a decision. I want to protect myself. And in the case that I get hurt, I have that long term care available to me. So, yeah, I I'm currently on path to go to medical school and hoping to start this summer, assuming everything goes well. If not, we apply this summer. But, yeah, that's where I'm at at the moment.

Okay. Well, I'll give you kudos of doing something. There's some 19-year-olds that don't do anything financially. So the fact that you are at least looking, thinking about even long-term care insurance, which we usually don't tell people they need until they're- In their 60s. 60, yeah. But they sold you a pack of goods, Joseph, and you bought in.

The good news is you're only 22. So I know it feels like, Oh, my gosh, I blew $21,000, which is a lot of money. But in the grand scheme, A lot of people hang on to these policies for a decade or two and then go, Oh, my gosh, I need to get out of this. So yes, it was a bad idea. No, you don't need to feel shame. This happens every day to well-meaning people from close family friends that are looking to make a commission off your back. Because the truth is, you don't need life insurance unless someone is depending on your income. So do you have kids or a wife?

No. You know, hopefully not, at least for another couple of years. I think it's going to be a couple of stressful in school and whatnot. So I'm with my parents at the moment.

Okay. Yeah.

So you really don't need life insurance, Joseph, at all.

And if you want it, get term life in place, And then cancel the whole life policy. Surrender it. And don't listen to whatever they say on the phone. They're going to say, No, you need to keep it. Here's why. It's a really good idea to hang on to this. You just need to firmly say, No, thank you. I want to surrender the policy.

And then you can start investing, Joseph, right? That's really where you're going to find lots of growth with your money, not in a whole life policy. A whole life policy basically bundles insurance and investing together in one account with a crappy rate of return, versus keeping it separate. So getting term life that has no investments attached to it. It's literally just a term policy, a 20, 30, 40 year, whatever you choose, but you don't need one. And then you can look at investing. And investing what your money will do, just even in an index fund or a mutual fund, is going to be probably, what, six, seven times X what you'll probably get in a standard whole life policy, the growth.

Instead of 2% return, it It would be 12% or more. I would get out of this thing ASAP. Get term life if you feel like you want it or need it. It's going to be a fraction of the price. Whole life is 5-15 times more expensive than term. I would contact our friends at Xander. They can help you out. You can jump on to xander. Com or give them a call, 800-356-4282, and they'll help walk you through that. I hope you qualify. You said you have some health issues, so I don't know what bearing that's going to have on the underwriting for your life insurance policy. But if If you're worried about this becoming a problem in the future, it is wise to get your term life now and get it for a longer period, like 25 years. If you know, Hey, I'll be almost 50 by the time this policy expires, which means the kids are out of the house. My spouse is going to be okay. You've been investing for 25 years, so you'll be fine at that point. You don't need it for your whole life.

Would it be a good idea for me to wait until that surrender charge goes away? No.

It's a sunk cost fallacy. I would just go, All I'm going to pay whatever I need to pay for the penalty and move on with my life. You'll get the cash value out, which I don't know what that will be. You can do the math and figure that out. But just take what you can and move on with your life. I wouldn't hang on to it for another day.

Got you. Okay. Yeah, it's just, I don't know. I guess it sounded real nice. I mean, they showed me a bunch of returns.

Yeah, I would too, if I was selling whole life insurance. I would make it look like the best things in slice bread. But the truth is, as you found online, literally No financial advisor that isn't just secretly an insurance salesman would say this is a good idea for a 19-year-old.

It's a horrible product, and almost everyone in the financial space knows that, except for people that sell it.

And they go by sketchy names I'm a wealth strategist, and they're secretly just whole life insurance salespeople. I know it sounded good, but- And they mix up the names.

It'll be universal. They have all these- Index Universal Life.

Then they have whiteboards where they'll draw, and you're going to basically become your own bank, and you can take your own money out tax-free by taking out a loan against your policy and paying yourself the interest. That's what the wealthy do. Don't listen to any of this crap. No. So I'm sorry you fell for it, my man. Brody is in Lexington, Kentucky, up next. What's going on, Brody?

Hey, George, Rachel.

Thank you guys so much for taking my call.

Sure. What's your question?

So my question is, me and my wife have had our...

We've got a car that's overheating at this point. It looks like it's going to cost more to fix it than the car is actually worth. And we're wondering if you guys would recommend what's the wisest financial decision, whether it's to just sell it or whether it's to try and trade it into your dealership or what the best option would be in this case.

So what's the car worth and what's the repair going to cost?

I think it's worth, according to the private sale in Kelly Blue Book, it's somewhere in the realm of 4,000 is the value. But the way it's overheating right now, it's barely drivable. So I don't know if we'd be able to sell it for hardly, before even that.

So 4,000 if it's in good shape, it's still running properly. Yes. Okay. Have you got quotes from multiple mechanics?

We have not.

We actually tried reaching out to a couple of other mechanics, other than the one that we had it at for a few months. And most of the mechanics said they don't work on Volvos. They recommended the mechanic we already had it at.

Okay, what did they say the repair costs will be?

6,900, roughly.

Goodness gracious.

Oh, man.

Do you guys have any money saved that you could use to buy something else?

We do. We have over 40,000 in all of our accounts together, so we could buy another vehicle. We're just trying to figure out how to minimize our losses on this one.

I mean, I think it's going to be one of those, the dealership buys it for scraps and they give you a thousand bucks.

Okay.

That's the truth. If it really is a seven thousand dollar repair. I know.

That's why I'd love a second opinion, if you can find one. I know that you may. I know you guys have tried, but I'm just curious.

Yeah, there's probably other mechanics that specialize in Volvos and European vehicles, and so you might need to find... I would at least get one more before you give up on it. But at that point, buy a reasonable car, make sure that all the vehicles in your life are less than half of your annual income, pay cash, don't get hosed, don't buy brand new. So what are you thinking of buying?

We haven't really thought much about about what we're buying next. We like old Toyotas just because they've had a better track record for our family. That's a good choice.

It'll be something like that.

And check out Christian Automotive Brothers. Christian Brothers because they're a great resource for it.

Oh, if you have to go in your area. I'd reach out to them for sure. But good luck with this, man. Cars are just one of those things, and they depreciate, things go wrong. I would just do the best with what you got, and you got plenty of money. So this is a solvable problem. And grieve the car. Say goodbye. I used to be that guy who bragged about running on no sleep. And then I realized being tired all the time is not a flex. To show up as the best George Camel I can be, I need real rest. And that's That's why I got Casper mattresses in my home. The experts at Casper designed their mattresses to help you sleep deeper, cooler, and more comfortably. And they've been top ranked in both the foam and Innerspring mattress categories by Consumer Reports. You and your entire family deserve great sleep. So go to casper. Com/ramsey and use code Ramsey for 25% off mattresses and 10% off everything else. That gives you up to 1,200 bucks off the Snowmax mattress, which is the exact one I sleep on. That's casper. Com/ramsey Ramsey Code Ramsey. One of the best things you can do for your finances is to have a really good tax pro in your corner that you can trust.

They'll help advise you on the best moves to make for your situation or for your small business, especially if you've had some big life changes in the past year. So go to ramseysolutions. Com/taxpro to find CPAs and enrolled agents that have been vetted by the Ramsey team. Pam is in Columbia, South Carolina. Up next. Pam, welcome to the show.

Hello.

Hey, how can we help?

Well, I currently work 70 hours a week making 83,000 total, with 61,000 of that being my full-time job. And I have been offered a position for $108,000. Awesome. As the full-time position. My dilemma is my full-time job did pay for my student loans, and I would owe my full-time employer $5,250 at departure.

All right.

And I don't have $5,250.

How much do you have?

So I'm just wondering a way to navigate that. Well, they would keep my last paycheck, which would be around 2,000. And then, other than that, I have I have $1,000 for the emergency fund and I have 1,600 dollars set aside because I'm speaking at a conference in May.

So that's your travel, lodging, all of that? Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm wondering, would your new employer be willing to cover the gap, almost like a sign-on bonus, if you explain this to them?

Yeah, that I don't know. I don't consider that option.

I would reach out and do it very kindly and just say, Hey, I'm really excited about this position. There's one snafu, When I leave this employer, I owe them this much money because of the student loan payoff. Is this something that you guys would be willing to cover as part of this new job? Okay.

And just see what they Because it'll be what, 3,000? Is that what you said? That you'll be left after your paycheck?

Yeah, a little over 3,000. Yeah.

Are you relocating for this position?

No. Okay. Well, and the 1,600 is not until May, and you could- With the new job. Yeah. And if the employer, the new employer, if you ask them, and they're not comfortable with 3,000, you could say even 2,000. I mean, I would I would throw any cash I had to get out because you can build that back up pretty quick with this new salary.

Okay. Yeah, within your first paycheck.

Yeah, the only thing I thought about with the 1,600 is how am I going to cover my bills with them keeping my last paycheck in that gas between the two positions.

I was thinking that, too. How are you going to float that?

Because it'll be about three weeks between paychecks because they're on a different pay week than what I currently on.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, well, you'll need that buffer, too, for sure.

I would hang on to it because I don't want you going into debt over this. The goal is to just try to cash flow it. Can you talk to your current employer about basically paying it back by a certain date, even after you're gone?

I'm given 30 days after departure is what the contract says.

Okay, great. And is your new employer okay with a later start date? Because that's the other option, is you go, Hey, I can't start until this. I'm probably pushing it with that. Okay. I mean, I would explain to them and say, Hey, either I have to start at this later date so I pay this off, or if you guys could cover the difference, I can start earlier.

Yeah, I would definitely be willing to open that conversation because I don't want to go into debt. I've been working really hard to get out of debt. But the idea of making that much more money to be able to.

It's stressful. It's part of these employer benefits. Sometimes there are strings attached where they go, Well, I don't want to cover your student loans, then you just leave us immediately, which is what's happening here. That's why We're not going to have these rules in place. But you got this new great income. I think you're going to pay your debt off in no time. Remember, do not allow lifestyle creep to happen. With your new salary, you're going, Well, I can afford more now. No, we're going to use all of this to attack our debt and actually build some wealth for our life. Thanks for the call. Sam is in Los Angeles up next. Sam, what's going on?

Hi. I'm calling because I'm trying to see if I should move to another city that has a cheaper cost of living in order to afford my own place. Is it smart for me to get my own place? I'm single, and so I'm just trying to figure out what the smartest thing for me to do.

Yeah, I would say it's less about your marital status and more about financial where you are when it comes to buying a home. Do you have consumer debt?

I have no debt. Thanks to you guys.

Good for you. That's great.

And I recently paid off my mom's parent plus loan that she took out for me, so no debt.

Oh my Gosh, Sam, well done. That's amazing. Yeah, so thanks to you guys. Yeah, well, that's amazing. Do you have money saved up for a down payment?

Yes, I have money saved up for a down payment, as well as a five-month emergency fund, because I do work in TV and film. So as we know, it's an unpredictable industry.

How much do you have saved for the down payment?

I have 65,000 And then another $10,000 for a closing cost saved.

Awesome. Okay, and you're in the LA area currently?

Yes. Okay. So you're looking at housing prices and you're just thinking, oh my gosh, this is- It's a million dollars for a starter home that I need to do a renovation on.

Yeah, and a lot of my friends who did buy are giving me the real deal about it, about being house poor and then the industry slowing down here as well. So it's catching up to everything.

That is a real fear. Well, could you even move to another state and still do your job?

I can. I was looking at Vegas because I do have some family there. And then the commute, since I do go there often to visit, it's not as bad. But I also, for the past five years, for the four or five months, I've worked out of the country on the other project.

Oh, nice.

And I've rent. So that's why I'm really looking to buy because I've literally paid rent while I wasn't even there because I couldn't rent it out.

Yeah. Well, I mean, even doing a short term rental while you're in and out, that's still going to be a different headache. And so it's going to be difficult either way. But I understand wanting to have your own place. What are you paying for rent right now?

I pay 22. 50, not including utilities.

Okay. And what do you make in general on an average year?

For the past five years, I made about like 150 to... Last year, I made 230, but I am self-employed, so that is no taxes taken out yet.

Oh, so you got to pay the quarterly taxes out of that? Correct. Okay, so that's your gross income. Well, you have a great income. And truthfully, I think you're not going to be able to get a mortgage for 2250 right now, based on the numbers that you've given us. Putting 65 grand down on a million dollar home is going to be a massive mortgage. And so I would just wait and keep saving, keep renting. And down the road, if you're still like, Hey, I really want in my own place, you might need to go further out. But again, that's going to be a longer commute if you're way out of LA area that you're going to have to deal with. So it's just you're trading one problem for another, and you just have to make peace with that.

Yeah. Or, you said, Sam, option three is just moving to a completely different area and seeing you own your own business, seeing how you can keep it afloat because it sounds like you're great at it, right? So if there's ways to still do that and live somewhere cheaper, that's the best of both worlds, in my opinion. Because we talk to a lot of people that end up leaving, whether it's the New York area, California, just because of cost of living. I would rather live somewhere and have margin financially to be able to do things and have fun than be house poor just to live in this one specific area. I understand people have family and friends and a life that they've built in an area. But at the end of the day, it is like, Hey, what is going to create a level of peace for me? I think a lot of people have made the decision to leave to a more affordable cost of living area.

I mean, even the taxes alone, you're probably taking home half of that, right?

Yeah, it's been really, really expensive being here. It's not I guess the cost of living, too. It's just like, I've been here for 10 years, and every time I come back after a job, it doesn't feel like home. So that's another reason why I looked at other places.

Yeah.

Even if you take a pay cut and your quality of life is higher and you can afford a house, That might be a better life, even if it means switching your job or career field. I think your skills will transfer, especially as a small business owner. So it's a big decision. We can't tell you exactly what to do, but I hope we gave you some questions to be asking and some insights. Thanks for the call.

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Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I'm George Campbell, joined by my co-host, Rachel Cruz, also my co-host on Smart Money Happy Hour. You can catch all of that on the Ramsey Network. We've got Sarah up next in Orlando, Florida. What's going on, Sarah?

Hi. I am struggling with my husband lying to me financially. I've been struggling with this for about two years, and I'm just wanting some advice on how to fix this.

Oh, gosh, Sarah. You said he's lying about your money. What's an example of that? What does that mean?

So I first found out about that he had been lying our whole marriage a couple of years ago. He had a large chunk of money from the sale of a house that he had put into, or he told me he put into a high-yield savings account. And when we got to the point of talking about buying a house, it came out that he had been completely lying about it, that he'd spent all the money. I still don't know where he spent all that money. There are other times where we'll put money in the safe as a savings He's got a savings account, just in case of emergencies. I went in there one day, last March, to get some money out to pay a bill, and the money was gone. It's things like this that are consistently happening.

And what does he say when you confront him? Where does he say the money went?

The $70,000, I'm not sure where it went, even to this day. But for the other stuff, he says that it goes to if I'm out of town for work, he says that he went and spent it eating out, or he went and just bought some random stuff that we don't really need, that he's not really going to use.

Have you seen said stuff? Is there actual proof of the things he's saying he's purchasing?

Yes. I see the receipts from where he's gone out to eat. He brought home a guitar and tried to play it for two weeks and then stopped playing it, and now it's just sitting in the closet.

Okay. Well, there's a few layers to this, and I don't know if there's something more nefarious happening behind the scenes. There's financial infidelity. Is there actual infidelity? Is there an addiction Is there gambling? There's so much we don't know because he's not being fully transparent. And that is the only solution. The only hope for this marriage is him coming totally clean. Because right now, you can't trust him.

Because you usually Sarah, if there is a level of deceit financially, not always, but more than half the time there's something else happening on the other side of that door.

And I don't- You don't just blow 70 grand on some toys.

Yeah. And I don't know what that is what that looks like. But my fear is his character is proving out to be that he lies. He's a liar. He doesn't keep his word. And if he's lying about one area of life, again, I pray it's not the case, but there's a good chance there's other things going on. And so I would, for your sake of the marriage, to keep the marriage at all intact, you guys need to sit down with a really, really good marriage therapist or counselor and start hashing out. Again, it's not just the money piece. This always goes deeper. It's usually never a money issue. It usually starts to show itself as a marriage issue. And that's what this is. This is a man who has to make a decision on whether he's going to choose to rebuild trust with his wife, Sarah. And you guys will create a roadmap over a long process of that healing journey for you to be able to trust him again, or if the patterns continue, I don't know how you stay married to someone that continues to lie to you.

That's the hard thing, because in a lot of ways, he's great. He helps out around the home. He is very encouraging. And spiritually, I don't really believe in divorce. And so it's hard because our whole lives are intertwined. We go to church together. I want to be led by a godly man.

You're not, Sarah. You're not, though. You're not. He took $70,000, Sarah, and lied about it. You guys have an agreement That you're going to put money over here, and he chooses to be a selfish child and go buy a freaking guitar. Do you know what I'm saying? It's pretty glaring, and I don't trust him. And so, no, that's not a man who leads you spiritually, Sarah. No, you can't put a spiritual umbrella over this. This is wrong. This is wrong.

Okay.

And I'm sorry, I don't mean to be harsh about it, but No, that's always something that I need to hear. Yeah. I mean, it's just... And we're a third party that doesn't know you from Adam. So when you give us information that you've been used to holding, it's become normalized to you. But you say it to us and we're like, No. And again, I'm not saying he's a bad guy. I'm not saying he has a double life or something.

And he can be a good guy in a lot of other ways. But it doesn't matter if you can't trust him. You understand that's the root of this whole thing. And I'm sure he's a hard worker and he goes to church. He can check all the boxes. But if you can't trust him and he constantly lies to you, there is no relationship here. And so starting today, I'd say, Hey, I'm a joint owner on every single bank account, every account in our life. And if you say no to that, we can't move forward.

Yeah. And it's a spectrum here, Sarah. Again, we jump probably to the dramatics because we do this show for a living. I feel like we hear some of the craziest stories. So yes, it could be that he's just sloppy with money. He's irresponsible. He's immature about it, and needs to grow up. That's a best case scenario. That's the best case scenario. You know what I mean? But he needs to understand the seriousness of this, because if you want to talk scripture, I can throw a lot of money scriptures at you that actually depict what your heart and character are, is how a reflection of money and how you handle money. And so, yeah, he needs to step up and be a man. And if he can't own this or understand the seriousness of what he has eroded in your marriage trust-wise.

If he brushes it off and goes, Well, I bought some toys while you were out of town. My bad. That's not enough.

Yeah. And you, too, Sara, on your end, you got to decide if it's that serious to you. And it may not be. You may off this call and be like, I can function in this for the rest of my life, and you may choose to. I don't know. Because it's harder work to not sweep things under the rug and actually to pull the rug out and deal with the crap that's sitting right there. That's marriage work. That's the hard work in marriage. It's so much easier to be like, It's not a big deal. I'm going to just justify it over here because he is a good guy, and then that's the level of marriage you're going to have. But if you guys want to do the work to dig deeper, not only financially can you be healed, but I think you'll have a much healthier, real, honest, authentic relationship in your marriage as well, which is probably the ultimate goal.

Absolutely.

We're hoping for healing for you, but you've got some hard work ahead of you.

And it's red flags. So hear us say that.

Some tough conversations. And how he reacts is going to be very telling. I love the quote, When someone shows you who they are, believe them. And so the more he shows you that he can't be trusted, the more you have to realize he's just not a trustworthy person, and I can't change him, and therefore, I am not safe in this relationship. That's it. That's the hard truth. I hope you guys have some good counseling and church family that can help support you through this. I hope there's healing and redemption on the other side.

Get some healthy, spiritual Christian people around you. Healthy.

Healthy. Bring it all into the light. That's the path forward.

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Hope is on the line in Albuquerque. What's going on, Hope?

Hi, you guys. Thank you so much for taking my call. I'm excited to have you guys because my question is regarding the Tesla.

Yes. You called the right people today because if Dave was on air, he would have hung up on you.

Oh, you have two Tesla. That's exactly right.

Call me back when you want to buy a real car.

Two Tesla drivers. Okay. What's the question? Because we're probably going to say yes. I hope we can.

So my husband and I, we're debt free. We both work in the trades, and we make about seven and a half K a month. So I don't know what that is yearly. I'm not that great with that.

Is that your take home pay?

Yes.

Okay, great. So that's coming out to about 90 grand.

Okay, perfect. But we're 21 and we're newly married, and we don't need the car necessarily. Both of our cars are paid off. I tried to do the calculations of what our cars are worth. Mine is about five, but my husband's is different, and I can explain that. He drives a 1996 Range Rover, so real old, but- Hope he knows how to fix cars. Oh, my gosh. It's a nightmare. Oh, no. But it's a sentimental thing for him. He bought it from his parents for four grand, but similar models have sold for much higher at auctions And so I don't know how to calculate that one. So therefore, I'm not sure if it's wise for us to buy a Tesla, because we're not getting rid of either of our cars.

Well, let's say you kept them, and let's say it's cars. I mean, it's a 1996. Can we call it on the low side of the auction?

Yeah, we could. I think the last two that I saw were about 25 grand. Okay.

So we'll say you got 30 grand worth of vehicles right now, and we base it off of your gross household income, which is going to be more than that 90. So it's probably more like 120 is what you guys are, your taxable income. So how much is this Tesla going to cost?

So we were thinking maybe 15 to 20, and we don't have the money right now that I want to spend on it. So we're going to wait until maybe December, if so.

Okay. Until you all save up for it. Do you guys have any consumer debt?

No, no consumer debt. We just have our mortgage. We bought our house in August, so we have about 217,000 on that. Okay.

What Tesla are you thinking?

You know, that's up to him. I have no idea. I don't understand the difference.

Is he going to be driving it mostly?

Yes. His car is the older one. Mine's 2012.

So this would be his daily driver, and he'll keep the 1996 Range Rover as just sentimental value, weekend driving. Exactly. Okay. Well, this is all reasonable so far. You're paying cash. It's not more than half of your annual household income. You're doing it all the right way.

You guys have an emergency fund, right? Right?

Mm-hmm. Okay. We have six months.

Yeah. I mean, I would be okay with it. I mean, yeah. I think that's part of this Baby Steps 4, 5, and 6. But make sure you're investing in retirement. You know, you're doing all the baseline stuff. You're being generous, you're giving. You guys have your consistent investments going for retirement. But yeah, if you guys want to save up and spend on this.

And you're buying used. So that's the goal. Buy used, pay cash, not more than half your annual income.

I hope. I love when we to say yes to a purchase.

This felt really good.

I know.

I love it so much. Usually it's some dude going, I want to save on gas, so can I spend $50,000 and take out a loan to get a Tesla? The answer is no, Brad. So thank you for giving us hope in America. Brad, don't do that.

I know. That's great.

That's a fun one. Okay, Courtney's in DC up next. Courtney, welcome to the show.

Hi, I'm really excited to be here. Thanks, guys.

Yeah, good to have you. How can we help?

So my question is, I recently just came into making both 1099 income and W-2 income. And I am just having a little bit of trouble figuring out if I should be doing being in an LLC to help myself save money, and if I should be doing this employment retirement plan to also reduce my taxes. My goal is just to save as much money as possible. So I'm just at a beginner stage.

How much are you making at both? Your full-time job and then your 1099?

So the total household income, my wife and I make between 164,000 and 197,000. Okay. The 1099, specifically, is just me. That's between 25 and 37,000.

Okay, so you make 37.

Plus my W2 money, but yeah.

Which was what? Which is the 1099. Which was what? How much do you make in your W2?

Between my two jobs, I make about 75,000.

Okay. Okay.

What work is the 1099?

It is social media management.

Oh, okay. So you don't need an LLC. That's more of a liability protection category versus I need this because I run a business. You can just do a schedule C and be a sole proprietor and do that for the foreseeable future. Just pay taxes out of that. And just make sure you pay your quarterly estimated payments to the IRS.

Great. Okay.

Yeah. I have to say, if it becomes your main source of income, if you end up tripling it or something, then I feel like you could probably- This is a long-term business that you're going to have. Yeah, look into more commitments, meaning even the retirement account. And if you're going to be hiring someone under you, all of that, if it starts to expand into something bigger because you're making so much more, then you can consider that next step in the small business world. But for now, you freelance, which is great that you're making an extra 37,000 doing this.

If you start making 50K, 100K, I would contact a CPA and figure out what the best status would be for you because it might be like an S Corp versus an LLC, and they can walk you through all the differences and which one would be more beneficial for you.

Okay. And then the part about the retirement plan, we usually have about $2,000 left over every month. And I just don't know if I should be putting it there or if I should be putting it just like in our mutual fund.

What options do you currently have through your employer for retirement?

So my W-2 income doesn't She doesn't have any retirement attached to it. My wife does. She has 6 % that she's putting in. It gets a 6 % match. For a match? Yeah, so 6 % for both. And then we both do max out our Roth IRAs.

Great. Yeah, I would We're going to focus on maxing out all the tax-advantaged retirement accounts first. For her, that might mean we're going to max out her retirement. If there's money beyond that, we've done the IRAs, we've maxed two of those out, we've maxed out the 401k. If you have an HSA, a health savings account, through your high deductible health plan, you can max that out as well. Those would be all the options I'd go to first before just going outside of retirement into a brokerage account and investing in some mutual funds.

Yeah, because once you max that out at 15%, the retirement side of life, I feel like you can check off because you can't touch that money until you're 59 and a half. If you have more to invest, that's when it would be like, Okay, yeah, why don't you just get a brokerage account index fund or something? Because it could be money that you guys may want to use in the next five years. You know what I mean? Where retirement It's really locked up. But for tax purposes, it's wonderful, especially the Roth IRA. Those are always the first buckets to fill to make sure retirement's good. Then any investing beyond that definitely is an option down the road.

There's some nerdier options. I won't get deep in the weeds, but there's something called a mega backdoor Roth 401k, where you can actually contribute after-tax dollars into the 401k and then convert it. That might be an option through your employer. You have to have an employer that allows both the in-plan conversions and the after-tax contributions.

But again, that extra extra, you can't touch until you're 59. 5, too. Exactly. So you may want to say- I prefer to put it in a Bridge account like Rachel's talking about, in case you need that money down the line, let's say in your 40s or 50s.

Yeah. Okay. But you're crushing it. Way to go.

Well done. Thank you. Well done. Quite the work ethic. Yes. That's amazing. Look at you, that mega backdoor Roth. George, that's why we love hosting with George.

It sounds like a seven-year-old came up with it. He loves our- Megabackdoor Roth. That's all right, bud. Settle down. Go play with your toys.

The giant.

Why mega? It sounds like something Trump named, but it's existed long before Trump. One big, beautiful mega backdoor Roth.

Just a mega, just a mega backdoor.

It's a good- And the backdoor.

We're sneaking in the backdoor.

Not enough people are talking about it.

I know, George. That's why we love you.

I'm the only one in America, me and some financial advisors.

We love that, George.

Because you got the back door off IRA. You got the mega back door 401k. If your brain hurts, you're not alone in America. Rachel is done with this conversation.

So am I.

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Homebuyer Edge and Seller Guarantee are available for qualifying borrowers and select loan types only and not available in all states or locations. Nlls ID-1591. Nlls consumeraccess. Org, Equal Housing Lender. We wish that we could get to every call and question here on the show. The inbox is completely full of your wonderful questions. The calls have been lined up and we can't get to them all. So if you have a money question, you want an answer for your situation, we've got you covered. Head over to our website and use our new Ask Ramsey AI tool. It's It's completely free. It's built and trained on proven Ramsey principles. I've been stress testing this, Rachel, and I've been so impressed with the level of knowledge it has. It sounds like us on the show because it's trained by all of our articles and all the things we say on the show.

Yes. I was going to AI. When I say feed, I don't even know really what that means, but you feed the AI of all of our advice.

And it's hungry.

From the show articles, our team. So it really is buttoned up. It's amazing. Yeah.

You're not going to get this from Google because it's taking in way too many sources. It's going to cloud the judgment. And so if you want your question answered Ramsey style, go do it for free today. Ramseysolutions. Com is the place to go, and you'll see a big search bar in there. That's the Ask Ramsey AI tool. So just put your question in there. It will launch you into the tool, and it's really neat. And if you log in, you can actually save your chat history. Yes. You can go back and reference it.

I threw it up on Instagram stories because I did a Q&A yesterday. Yes. And some people were DMing me. One girl goes, Oh, my gosh, I She literally said, I just got my 401k question answered and a relational issue I've been having with my brother-in-law about money. She's like, It gave me great advice. I was like, Oh, I'm so glad.

That's amazing.

We might be out of a job, George.

I know, and it's free.

I don't know.

That's incredible. So Go check it out. It's going to be a great starting point, at least, to get your question answered, if not, to completely solve it. So ramseysolutions. Com. Enter the question in the Ask Ramsey search bar there on the homepage, or click the link in the description if you're listening on podcast or YouTube. Mary Mary is in New York City up next. Mary, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure.

How can Rachel and I help?

Awesome. First, I'm so grateful for finding you all. Seven months ago, I decided I'm making too much money to be stressed about money, got the Every Dollar app, and it's completely changed our spending habits, and we actually budget now.

Oh, I love it. Well done.

What a great testimonial.

Ben, awesome. So we are on Baby Step, too, and In the next couple of months, I expect to have about a $20,000 inheritance coming to me. We have $43,000 left on a heloq. That's our remaining debt. But in order to solidify this behavioral change, I'd rather put the $20,000 in our emergency fund and to continue to work and pay off the debt ourselves. I consider it like a $1,200 interest stupid tax. If we're able to pay it off, we should be able to pay it off by October first this year. Is it sensible to take that interest loss as a stupid tax in order to maintain our discipline and earn being debt-free?

I would say, Mary, your behavior has already been changed. I mean, you guys are paying off debt, you're budgeting, you're in it, you're doing it.

You're angry at your past decisions, and you're never going to do it again.

I don't think that this is going to be a windfall that you guys pay off half the heelock when you receive this 20 grand and then suddenly go back in your old ways. If anything, I think it's exciting. It's a little bit of that Oh, my gosh, we just were given a gift to fast forward this process so quickly. Then once it's all paid off, then you can have all of your income to build the emergency fund back. I would keep the baby steps in order. I hear what you're saying, and I so appreciate that because sometimes that is our caution. If we have people that are just starting this process and they do get a big loss, they had a lawsuit, so they get a check from that, a settlement, or- Or they go, I'm going to just sell the house and use that to pay off the debt but never change my spending behavior. Yes, but you guys have changed your behavior is what it sounds like to me. I'd give yourself probably more credit.

Okay. And it's going to light a fire under you to not have an emergency fund, have that $1,000 only while you attack the heelock. And guess what? You get the discipline and behavior change of having to build up an emergency fund from scratch. So you will get to eat your vegetables soon enough.

Sounds good. Yeah, the emergency fund being at a thousand and not contributing to retirement has been a lot of fire. Yes.

That's more behavior change right there, if you're willing to stick that out through the debt payoff, versus getting a little too comfortable having 20 grand sitting in savings. You're like, Well, I mean, we're going to be okay. Something happened.

Mary, how much do you guys make a year?

We just hit about 300 before taxes and all that.

Amazing. Yes.

So this debt's gone within a few months anyways.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the plan.

Okay.

So either way, in 6-9 months, you're going to end up in the same place. But regardless if you keep this in an emergency fund or whatnot, but I would just throw it at the debt and just keep that process going.

And the money you save in interest, you can give to a wonderful cause once you guys are debt-free with an emergency fund. So don't punish yourself just for fun.

Okay, that sounds good. Thank you so much.

Well done, Mary. Absolutely. Excited for you all.

Fantastic. All right. Anna is in Columbia, South Carolina. Up next. What's going on, Anna?

Hey, how are you?

Great. What's your question?

We're in a difficult situation. My husband and I were pretty much forced, back in November, to pretty much restructure our entire financial dilemma, because they made a mistake with his company. He got a promotion, and he was making really good money. So we were basing a lot of our financial decisions off of this income that he was getting. But then they come back nine months later and tell us that this income that he was making was actually a mistake. They made a mistake on his commission.

What? So they overpaid him, and now they're saying, Hey, we need that money back.

Well, no, they're not making him pay it back. But he did have his suspicions. You're not really supposed to discuss pay with other employees, but he had other people in his position that he had spoke to, and we're talking about some hard things going on with their paycheck because it's all commission-driven. And he wasn't really feeling that because his was a lot higher than theirs. So he brought it to the attention of the higher-ups And they looked at it and they said, Yeah, actually, it's wrong on here. Oh, no. So we didn't have to pay it back, but it is affecting our taxes this year big time because of the withholding.

Yeah, he wasn't withholding enough. So you have a big tax bill?

Yes. So we're going to owe about $4,000 in taxes this year.

What was he making, and now what's the corrected pay?

So he was making about $2,500 a week, and now it's more like anywhere between $1,200 and $1,500 a week.

Oh, gosh. So it cut in half.

Yeah. So we made some financial decisions along the way, based on that income.

What decisions?

Yeah.

Debt.

How much? Car payments. Oh, no. Credit card payments.

Yeah.

But we have- Let's not blame the company for that, by the way. We made some decisions to go into debt. Right. Absolutely. So there's both and here. So what is the car loan or loans?

Well, I will say this. We have, since this And what happened, we have gotten on the best track that we possibly could. We did have three vehicles, now we have two. We got rid of one of them that we didn't necessarily need. And I actually got rid of the more expensive one that I was paying way too much money on and paid the negative equity with the proceeds from the previous vehicle. So now we're down to about 30,000. We're two cars.

Two cars, 30 grand total in car loans. What about credit cards?

Credit cards, we have about 10,000 credit card debt.

Okay. Any other consumer debt?

Other than that, it totals to be about 50,000 with the cars and the credit cards.

Oh, so you all got this new... You got this new money and you said, We can live it up. Yeah.

And what about the house?

Yeah, the payments started racking up. So that's my question. We're willing to do anything we can to just get us back, get our heads above water, and actually live and not be house poor. So our house is what's costing us a lot of money.

What's your payment every month?

We- 2400.

Ouf.

And, yeah, all of our total expenses for housing is around 3,000 a month whenever you add utilities and things like that.

We were just wondering- So now it's over half your tank home pay.

Yeah. So we're thinking, should we sell the house and downsize? Since the market's trending that way.

Are you working outside the home?

Yes. I have a full-time job.

Okay. How much are you bringing in a month?

Fifty $2,000 a year.

Great. So this is not as on fire as we thought because I thought it was based on just on his income. I wouldn't sell the house. I think you guys will get your income back up to where this will be a reasonable payment as far as your take home pay. I would look at selling one or both of the cars if you want to get out of this faster. But otherwise, you got a great income. Let's focus on knocking out this 50K of debt and never going back in.

And watching a lifestyle creep, Anna. That range, when you get a raise, everyone's like, Oh, I can spend this much more, and you just keep your lifestyle consistent consistent with that versus living below your means. So remember that. But you guys can definitely get this worked out.

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Today's question comes from Rebecca in California. Oh, I just saw this. Thank you, Rebecca. Should Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey get a prenup, considering they both have their own income and careers?

Wow, this is a Rachel question.

Yes, Rebecca. Taylor Swift should get the prenup because I think she's a billionaire.

Yeah, she's got a higher net worth than them.

Yeah, less about she has her own income and their own careers.

She's a working woman.

Yes, she's a working woman.

She's a billionaire.

But also, when you have a major discrepancy in networth, that's one of the only times that we talk about a prenup is probably wise.

So don't go, Well, Rachel told Taylor she can get a prenup. Why not me? Yes. You don't have a massive business empire and intellectual property and catalog rights and touring companies and everything that Taylor's got going on.

Taylor's prenup compared to Travis. It's going to be this thick.

We shared the meme on social, which was the lawyers counting money. They're like, The lawyer is working on the prenup for Taylor and Travis. Yeah, that's right.

I know. So yes, I would very much say, as she should, Taylor Swift, I would get a prenup.

And Travis, very successful NFL player. Yes. He's got a lot of assets, too. And so I think it is wise for those two people to have just some clarity about, here's what we're bringing into the marriage, here's how we're going to handle it, here's what happens if the unthinkable happens. That's right. That's okay to do when you have that level of wealth.

For sure. Oh, Rebecca. No, thanks for the question.

Did you get an invite to their wedding?

No, not yet. Okay. I'm still waiting.

I love the yet. I love the optimism you have that you will get invited somehow.

Somehow.

You'll be lucky to get a ticket to the livestream. Sure. But you'll make that.

I hope they livestream it. They won't. I hope for their sake they keep it private.

I would charge tickets and then give the money to charity. That would be the ultimate power move.

Oh, like a pay-per-view situation. Yes.

A hundred bucks to watch. All proceeds go to her favorite charity. Why nobody has done that is beyond me, guys. Do I have to come up with all the ideas here?

Yeah, that's actually a great idea.

I would have done it if I thought anybody would buy tickets to see my wedding.

Oh, my gosh. You're such a generous guy, George. Thank you.

Zack is in Nashville up next. What's going on, Zack?

Hey, guys. How are you doing? So my question is, how do I determine my salary value as a project manager in my field if I don't have too much to go off of? I put 2. 8 million in the ground in eight months, starting out with this company. Brought it from a 600-year yearly revenue to 2. 8 million. My salary is 50,000 right now, based I got a bonus of two grand, an extra paycheck for Christmas. But I work 80 to 100 hours, seven days a week on call all the time. Got a wife and eight-month-old baby.

Oh my gosh, what do you do?

I'm a fencing project manager.

Fencing, you said? Yes, sir. Okay. Why are you still with this company? Because it feels like you've been mistreated, or at least you feel that way.

Well, the owners let me know that there's some big salary things ahead, and I'm coming up on my one year negotiation. So I've reached out to other franchise owners, PMs, and stuff like that, and they're making about 70, 80, running a five to seven million, three to seven million dollar operation. I'm running this one alone. Since one of the proposals is accepted, I handle everything, materials, client relations, installation, quality walks, everything.

Do you have any commission?

Billings. No. And that's another thing I need advice on.

Why don't you just move into sales? It sounds like you've got some sales skills.

Yeah, I got a bigger picture with my brother to be in the GC, get back into the GCE field. And this is a step along the way.

Okay. Well, I mean, you lay out, here's my role, here's how I've been going above and beyond, here's what I'm bringing to the table, here's how I increase revenue. And if they go, Well, yeah, one day. But here's a little two grand raise for all your hard work. Thanks, bud. I think that's clear that they're not going to value you as much as you feel like you're valued, and it's time to look for a different employer.

And you've been there for a year. You've obviously made some major moves to help them grow the business. So I would ask them, Hey, what does a path look for me to grow my income? And have them answer, too, because it's their response. They're the ones that are going to make the call. So I would be curious if you just have an open-ended question to them of, Hey, what's not only a career path within this company, But for salary growth, what does that look like? And if they don't really have a plan or they're not looking for a plan, then I guess that's a call you're going to have to make.

Yeah, he's mentioned something about matching for contributions for kids' college and stuff. I'm still waiting to... Nothing's really been happened. You know what I mean? A lot of talk.

Yeah, but your one year is when?

Two, three months.

Okay.

How old are you?

Twenty-five.

Okay. If I'm in your shoes, the best demo you might have is looking at another employer who sees what you've been doing and you go, Hey, this is how I help the revenue. Here's what I've been doing. Is there a position here where I can add some value? And just see. You might double your pay without having to sit here and negotiate for another two grand raise. But if the writing's on the wall and they're just empty promises, then I wouldn't be there much longer.

Much, yes, sir.

But I mean, it's a simple conversation. Hey, I think I'm adding value to the organization, and if I am, I'd love to talk about how that can show up in my paycheck in a reasonable way.

How big is the team, Zack?

I run three crews myself. One is eight-man crew, one is a four-man crew, and one is a two to three-man crew. But we keep them, two of them fed, six days a week, and they're happy.

Yeah. Well, just the fact that you're working 80 hours a week making 52,000, that doesn't- Essentially, you're making 25 grand, which is like $12 an hour.

So that's where I go. Clearly, if this is what's expected and required of you for this 50 grand, I would not do it anymore.

Yes, sir.

So if you're sharp as you I know you are, I think you can get hired elsewhere and make more- Have some humility, too, in the conversation.

You haven't been there a year.

No guns of blaze in here.

Yeah. I would make it a conversation. And again, the way they run the business, it's a small business. They may not have the structure in place, a cash flow-wise. Who knows how healthy the company is?

He's saying, Well, I brought it from this much to this much in revenue, and I've been doing all this.

I don't know what they're doing with the revenue either. You know what I mean? They're maybe buying a building. I don't know. You got to get a big picture, too, of what's going on.

Let's get to Jeff in Phoenix. Jeff, how can we help? Get right to the question.

Hey, how are you doing?

Great.

Good. Hey, so my wife and I, we make between six and seven thousand a month, given overtime or commissions. We were stressed about money, weren't really sure what was going on with all of it.

We downloaded every dollar, been listening for about a month, and threw everything in there and came up with nothing.

We are out of debt, and the zero dollars at the end of budget comes after investing 15 %. But we're looking at, we'd like to be able to pay off our mortgage early, but we just don't see where we can find any extra money.

So you have expenses that rack up to seven thousand dollars a month, and that's what you're bringing home.

Right.

That's where I would dig in.

No, I deal with the budget. Sorry, what?

I was just saying that's the spot to dig in. If you're saying, hey, we have a great income, we don't have any debt, we're investing 15 % before this hits our bank account, that tells me there are some high expenses That's what we're looking for on the side of your budget.

How much is your mortgage, Jeff?

Two thousand.

Okay, yeah. That's reasonable. So we got another four to five thousand left. Where are the majority of that going?

Do you have kids, daycare?

No kids. It's just the two of us. I feel like we live pretty comfortably, but not too comfortably. Let's see, every dollar a year, I have it open in another tab. We tie 10 %, so around 600. Utilities and HOA, that's probably an additional 400 there. We both travel over 30 minutes to work, so about 400 on gas, so 400 on groceries, 200 on eating out, and then This is probably where you're going to tell me to cut back a little bit, but probably 500 on just us. Probably extra things.

Yeah, that hasn't added up to five grand yet.

No, I'm still at 4,500. There's still another $2,000 here unaccounted for. So what I would do is not just look at what you plan on every dollar, but what your actual bank statement said, and you'll go, Oh, we got to tighten up in a bunch of these areas. And every dollar will help you find that margin with recommendations. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I'm George Campbell, joined by Rachel Cruz. The number to call is 888-825-5225. If you want to join the conversation as we help you take the right next step for your life and your money. Kevin is in Atlanta. What's going on, Kevin?

Hey, how's it going? So my mortgage is about four months after my wife just stopped contributing to the household. And we are currently in loss mitigation until May. They're giving us a chance to try to catch the mortgage back up. However, I'm still dealing with some financial infidelity from her as far as... Neither of us could afford the house without each other. Our mortgage is about $1,700 a month, and my income is seven to $800 a week, and hers is about $1,400 every two weeks, and that's after taxes. So I was just trying to see if you could give me an idea of What I should do as far as the house goes, we do have three kids. I'll put that in perspective for you.

Yeah. Did she stop working, Kevin? Is that why?

No. So she's working. Actually, at the beginning of all this, I went through a hiccup with my job. She works during the day, and I was working overnight. My mother went into the ICU, so I had to take about a week off because I thought she was on life support. I had to go be with her, and I ended up losing my job. So it took me about three weeks to find another job. And then when I did, it was during the day. So then child care, I was having to pay for that as well.

Why do you keep saying you were having to pay for it? How about we had to pay for it as a household, right?

There is no. And honestly, that's where I've made a mistake from the very beginning. Everything has been separate from the very beginning. And I do believe all of her money is going towards the kids, but I think it's a little ridiculous. She uses the Firm website.

Buy now, pay later.

Yes, I found out that later. Right. So Christmas, any holidays, birthdays.

It's all on payments.

Anything you can think of, it's all... She orders this stuff off Amazon, and they just pop it right out of her check.

Are you guys living together still?

We do. We do live together.

So what's the dynamic like right now? Because you've been throwing out a lot of words like infidelity, and she stopped contributing. Have you guys had a conversation about what's going on?

Well, the best that we could. Yeah, I mean, I've tried multiple times.

She doesn't understand she's going to get foreclosed on if she doesn't choose to contribute. You know what I mean? I'm on her beef with you. I don't have beef with you. Yeah. As a household, we have to pay our mortgage. However, that gets paid. It doesn't matter who's checking, we got to pay the mortgage. So I don't understand what she's expecting is going to happen.

I really don't either. And then I've always the bill payer and take care of everything. I'm the one who worked out the financial plan with the mortgage company. I've explained it to her the best that I could of how the loss mitigation works. Basically, I think we're on a forbearance plan to where it just gives us enough time to get caught up to keep us out of foreclosure.

I think you need a sense of urgency here, Kevin. I'd talk with her tonight and say, This is on We are about to lose the house. Our kids need a roof over their heads. What are we doing here?

And the way we've been doing this sucks.

This is horrible. You Venmoing me for the mortgage, and then it doesn't come through, and now I can't pay the mortgage payment. This is not working. So even if it's just for the kids right now, to have some safety and security, she needs to pitch in. Right. And if she's out of control spending, then you need to reroute the money into a bank account that you at least can see.

Yeah, that's the thing that has to happen in the next week or two because you guys I have to start paying back on this. But then overall, Kevin, we can't function like this. You know what I mean? I mean, long term in the marriage. And so does she have any urgency to work on money with you and for you guys to be a team? Because always couples that have this split of a mindset in such a big topic like money, I just assume you don't have a great marriage.

We definitely do not right now. And I tried to sit down and budget with her. In fact, I downloaded an app besides every dollar because our lives are hectic because we have been working opposite shifts. So I'm like a great way to effectively communicate financially. There's an app called Honeydew, and it just allows you to view each other's bank account. So I know how much she has, she knows how much I have, and it becomes more of a week thing.

That's not really getting to the root of the problem. Yeah, I hear you.

It's less about visibility, and it's more about unity. Yeah.

Oh. Right. And she just. You like that? Great quote, George. She's like, We can budget without knowing where every dollar is going. And I'm like, That's literally the name of Dave's budget app. The app Every Dollar.

It sounds like you guys have a bunch of consumer debt, too.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, to be honest, I don't even know what all debt she has.

Yeah, you probably don't.

Well, fun homework assignment. You guys both pull your credit reports You can do it for free, annualcreditreport. Com, and you're going to find out. And we're going to say, Hey, all cars on the table. What are all the debts we have? We got to clean this mess up. And again, I don't care if you hate each other, but you need to do this for the security of your own family and children.

To keep the house, yeah. Then you guys need to have a reset, Kevin, of where you guys want to be as a couple in the next two, three, four years. You guys need to truly have this picture of This is what I want. This is what John Deloney says, that this is what I want our home to feel like. What do we want our home to feel like? We're raising our children in this home. We are in this marriage together. You can make choices to change habits, to change the way you've been doing marriage and completely turn on its head and do the complete opposite, right? Because right now it's just chaos and division versus peace and unity. If that's what you both want working together, Yeah, I would lay out a roadmap for you and just say, where do we want to be in 24 months? In two years, what would the ideal life look like, feel like, and how do we reverse engineer that to decisions that we have to make today? Some of the stuff is on fire, like what George is saying, we got to get the mortgage paid. I mean, there's some of that that's like, but overall, what does it look like to truly have a healthy marriage where we are a team in this?

And together, we're making decisions together. We both have input, regardless of who brings in the income. This is a household that we have chosen to be a part of. And so when the money hits the account for the household, how are we going to budget it together? And out of that creates the unity. But sometimes you have to do those rigorous steps first to get to where you want to go. But that's part of figuring out where you even want to be as a couple.

Yeah. Has she opted out of this marriage? I mean, you mentioned the word infidelity. I don't know if that was just regarding finance.

He said financial, financial, I think.

Okay. Is that true?

As far as As far as I know, it's just financially. Okay.

Well, you guys make $6,000 take home from what I gathered, right? Yes. Okay. That is above the average take home pay for a household in America, and you guys are living well below average lives right now. And so that's the reset we need. It's not an attack on her, an attack on you, and who's right and who's wrong. It's we need unity. We make too much to feel this broke, and these kids deserve some shelter over their heads. This is stupid to lose the house over being ununified. I wish you the best.

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Anne is in Chicago up next. Anne, welcome to The Ramsey Show.

Hi. Thank you for taking my call.

Absolutely. What's What's the question today?

We have three young adult children. Two of them are very responsible and respectful. The third is terrible with money, spends money as fast as he can get it, and he also has a major lying problem. Currently, our His relationship is very strained.

He's not living with us, and he's not living a life that we can support right now.

In the meantime, we are looking to rewrite our wills or set up a revocable living trust. How can we set this up so if we were to die, before he matures or changes direction here, that he would have to demonstrate necessary qualities before receiving his inheritance? And at what point does he simply forfeit his share? And what do we do with that share then? And also, of course, we do not want to be the cause that our adult children do not get along after we're gone. But we also don't want this gift that we've worked so hard for to be wasted.

You're asking the right questions, Zan. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It's not how you picture it when you imagine being able to bless your family and leave a legacy, and now you can't even trust the child to handle it. Correct. But you're doing the right steps. I mean, a revocable living trust is the move, and you can customize the provisions, and you'll need a strong trustee to actually carry this out. But you can time it all. You can have conditions and say, Hey, if he doesn't do X, Y, Z, he doesn't get anything. And at that point, it gets split evenly between the two other siblings.

Okay.

Yeah. And if that's it, and I would communicate it, it's going to be really hard, but I would rather him hear that from you all at some level than the reading of the will, if you guys pass away. Okay. That, and then I would- Have a conversation with all three of them? I would, yeah.

Okay. To let them know what's going on. Let him get mad at you while you're alive instead of getting mad at the siblings when they had nothing to do with this.

Yeah, and I would have the conditions, have someone Yeah, whether it's the trustee, whoever it is, that it's not one of your children that has to monitor his behavior because that could make the relationship really odd, right? If there's a good family friend that you trust, but I would not I would not put one of the siblings in that position because I think that could definitely cause tension. Be very clear on those conditions, too. Not subjective. As clear as you can be is going to be the best. And it is. I'm with George. It is so heartbreaking because money is such a magnifying glass. It makes us more of what we already are. And if there's really horrible habits, things that he's doing that's damaging himself, and then you put money on that. Yeah, it's going to make his life even worse, right? Where money is supposed to be a blessing in that. So I think there's definitely some wisdom, and it is very... It's very sad. It's very, very heartbreaking. But I do think there's wisdom in that. And my prayer is that, yeah, he makes it. How old is he?

Nineteen.

Nineteen? Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. You know, we're all- There's still time. Yeah, that's good. I'm glad he's not like 40. That makes me I feel better.

He's not too set in his ways.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you can always change it later.

Can you give an example of being specific?

What could- Here's an example.

You could say, Hey, there's going to be a sobriety requirement and a debt-free requirement. Every month, we're going to check your credit score and do a drug test. If it's clear, you will get $5,000 every month. You can set it up to be as specific and nuanced as you want, and a good estate attorney can help you set all that up because they've seen it all. They've seen it go wrong, they've seen it go right. I'm just giving you an example of how nuanced and specific you can get because it's your money and you can have as much oversight as you want and as much strings attached as you want, especially if you're worried about them. What I wouldn't do is make one of the siblings, the trustee, because now he becomes the bad guy. You want a strong third party, a professional trustee through a company that specializes in this. That way, he doesn't get to fight the siblings. They go, Hey, we got nothing to do with it, and we He can't do anything about it. Yeah.

Right. I understand that.

All right.

But good luck in the meantime. Thank you. I know it's hard because he's an adult now, and he can make adult decisions, and you wish you could just be like, I want the best for you. Change, please. But it might take a little bit more rock bottom to get him to have his prodigal son returning home moment.

Right.

I understand.

Thank you.

Absolutely. Man, that's a tough one. All right. Kristin is in Illinois up next. Kristin, welcome to the show. Hi. Hi. Can I hear you, Kristin? Loud and clear. Can you hear me? Yes, that's better.

Hey. Hi. Thanks for taking my call. So my question is about affording a larger house for my growing family. We live in a pretty small house right now, and financially we're doing well, but I feel like I'm really asking my kids to sacrifice too much instead of providing for them.

What sacrifices are they making? Are they working the fields all day?

No. We I have chickens, but- Oh, good.

They should be working out there.

Yeah. No, they... I mean, like any kid, they have hobbies. Like my 13-year-old really likes to do Legos. Our house is so small, and now we have a baby that he really can't Enjoy. He can't have most of any of his things inside the house. A lot of their toys that they've had over the years are in the garage, and there's not enough room for them really to be normal kids.

How many kids do you have?

We have We have three now, so three boys.

And how many bedrooms?

There is three bedrooms, but we use one as an office.

Okay. One of you works from home?

We both work from home, yeah.

Okay. And what's the square footage?

We need to have 1,050 square feet.

Okay. So it is tight. I mean, that's legit. You're not making this up. What would a bigger house cost you guys, and could you afford it?

In our area, a bigger house would go easily for $365,000. And I'm honestly not sure if we could afford it. But I feel like everyone is telling me, Hey, you guys just have to pull the trigger and do it, because if you don't take any risks, you'll never get anywhere.

Everybody doesn't pay your bills.

You pay them. Yeah, and everybody is broke, Kristin.

So I wouldn't be asking for their opinion, truthfully. No. What I would do is just look at the facts and go, Okay, our income is $10,000 a month. Yeah, how much is it? So therefore we can afford $2,500 on a mortgage.

Yeah, what's your income a month?

My husband makes $80,000 a I used to make $80,000 a year, too, but since the baby's been born, I really haven't been able to do much. Yeah. So then it's going to be that way until he's in kindergarten, at least. Sure. So three more years.

Sure. So what hits your account every month with just your husband's income?

Is it around 7,000? Yeah.

Probably around that. Okay. So yeah, I mean, I would be looking for a home, and you'll have do the math, on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage where the payment is no more than 25 % of your take-home pay, what could you sell your house for today? How much would your house go for?

It would go for 165 to 180.

Okay. And how much do you guys owe on it?

We only owe about 60,000. We've run a 15-year fixed mortgage at 2 % flat.

Okay. So you could walk away with over 100 grand to put down on the next house?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. And if you guys had any... Yeah, we're on a $2,000 mortgage, You'll have to see, yeah, with that all... You can do the Ramsey Mortgage Calculator at ramseysolutions. Com and put in with the down payment and everything. And yeah, there's a chance you guys definitely could. But I went on just a whim like, Oh, yeah, you got to take risks. No, you don't. No, we have facts that you get to make really wise, mature decisions off of because you have numbers. And so let's be wise with that and make sure that, again, that payment is no more than 25 % of your take home pay. But I think, yeah, if it all works, I would definitely I would upgrade, get some more room. Yeah.

And he works from home?

Most of the time. He works in an office at his business like one week out of the month. Okay. But the other thing to consider is we send our kids to private school, and that's 15,000 a year.

Okay. So that's eating up a good chunk of your budget as well.

Yeah. So you got to figure out, okay, let's do a budget. And yeah, we got about 1100 going out to private school. We have this new mortgage, theoretically. Here's what we need to spend on. I mean, yeah, you got to map it out because sometimes you can't have it all, right? I mean, you might. I'm not sure. Depending on how the numbers work, you might be able to pull off both.

We can't have all three. We can't have a big house on a single income and send the kids to private school, we get to choose two. And so then you get resourceful and go, All right, we're going to work this out. He gets a corner of the house or he goes to the office more and we free up a bedroom, which gives us more room for now. Then we're going to save up and upgrade when the time is right. I wish you the best. There's hard decisions here, but I think you guys can make it.

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Hey, if you're debt free, the Live Like No One Else Cruise is your chance to celebrate. You can hang out with all of us Ramsey personalities, Dave Ramsey, for new sessions on building wealth, live episodes of our shows and the world's largest debt-free scream. That one's burned in my memory, Rachel. So fun. Just being on a cruise ship with thousands of people surrounding on the deck.

The amount of people, even though we say you don't have to be on Baby Step 7 necessarily, but the amount of people that have paid off their homes that were on board. That's right.

I want to say it was over half. Yes. It was shocking.

It was awesome. It was so fun.

If you are Baby Step 4 and above, this is the cruise for you to mark the moment, the journey, the progress. You can secure your cabin with a $600 deposit and join us in the Western Caribbean March of 2027. You've got a lot of time to plan, to book. So get that cabin secured. They're going fast. Click the link in the show notes or go to ramseysolutions. Com/events to book your cabin today. Emma is in Wilmington, North Carolina, up next. Emma, welcome to the show.

Hi, guys. Thank you so much for taking my call today.

Absolutely. What's going on?

I'm a little bit of a situation. Me and my husband, we both own businesses, and we're both pretty, I guess, entrepreneurial, I guess you can say. And we keep on having disagreements about how we choose to, particularly how I choose to invest in my business and how I choose to spend my money, how I choose to, particularly, invest into my business. I just feel like he's always micromanaging me about every single thing that I do for my business. While he's running his business, I'm just like, Honey, I trust you. But when it comes to my churn, he's always in there. It's making hard for me to make all these decisions that I feel like I should be making for my business.

Because he doesn't think... I mean, is it like it's a conversation and he gets excited because he loves small business and he's like, I want to look at the numbers and talk to you about it, where you feel like he's being controlling or that he doesn't trust you? What's the feeling?

It's like he says that I trust you in it, but I just feel like I should be there because I guess he says he does trust me, but I feel like he doesn't. I guess he's always doubling down on my decision. He's like, Is this, are you sure that this is what you need to do?

Are you asking him for advice?

Into advice and particularly how I choose to invest into my business.

What do you mean by invest in the business? You keep mentioning that.

By getting ads or advertisements. I need that to grow my business, and he just sees it as a waste of money.

Okay. And so you're not going into debt for this. It's not a values issue. It's just I have one way of doing it, he has another way of doing it.

Yeah, yeah.

Are your businesses connected or related in any way?

No. So we just recently split my All of my income and all my expenses for my business completely out of our separate... We made a separate account for all of my stuff, but he's still running his business from our personal- Okay, you all need two separate business accounts.

You don't need to co-mingle running a business in your personal checking. Out of the business- Yeah, so the fact that I am, I guess you could say more legit, I have all my paper files, everything filed and everything in order while he's also starting out.

So it's not official official, but he's still doing it.

Yeah, I would go get another checking account, right? To be running the business out of, just so that it doesn't all get tangled up. Yeah, that. And then as far as him giving you his opinion, I think that's a communication issue, in my opinion, of, Hey, I don't like the way that you're stepping in. I would love to know your thoughts because I think you're smart. If you think that, you do. I would love to hear what you have to say, but at the end of the day, I'm probably going to make these different decisions because I'm going to choose to do it this way or that way. And it's not an immoral thing like what George was saying. It's just, This is what I'm going to choose to do. And he, yeah, should be supportive of that. Unless it's a horrible decision, but so far, it didn't sound like you're doing it.

Unless it's hurting the household and damaging the income severely. But I think it's fair to say, Hey, I'm open to advice. I'm just not looking for oversight. I need space to lead this business. And if I make a couple of mistakes here or there that are non-fatal, I'm okay with that. And we just have different ways of approaching this. So Unless I specifically ask for strategy, I'm not looking for that unsolicited advice, but I would love your support, and I offer the same to you. How would he respond to that?

We just have this same conversation every We, like a few weeks out. We had this conversation. We're like, okay, I'll back off. And then we like to be really transparent about how we choose to make decisions and what big money decisions we make. Then It just comes back up where he says, Well, what is your return on that? And I'm like, Well, the return is not guaranteed because it's like it's like advertisement, you know?

What's the nature of his business? What's the nature of the business he's running?

So he's in selling cars and parts and all that stuff.

Okay. And he's just getting started. What is your household income?

That's the thing. We don't have... It's different every single week. It mostly depends on what he sells, what I can sell, and- What are you selling? I do like weddings. I do like floral and decor. So I'm not guaranteed to book out until like certain amount.

It's a long term play you? Because you're talking about weddings that are booked a year or two from now that you're trying to get on the books.

Yes.

Okay. Well, do you guys have consistent income outside of that? Are you both working other jobs, or is this it?

No, I just quit He quit my job a few weeks ago, probably because I wasn't getting enough hours, and they were not willing to give me more hours, and he quit his job to pursue this.

So what are you guys making in a given week or month?

In a given month, we could be lucky. It would be anywhere from two to seven grand.

That's quite the range. I'm just wondering what's at the root of this. Is there fear in his mind of, Hey, are we going to be okay? And is this business going to succeed? Are we going to be able to hit our financial goals this month? If you don't run this business how I think you should run it? So I would get to the root of what his true concern is. I don't think he's just a marketing nerd who's like, Well, I just think you should run ads this way. To Rachel's point, it wasn't out of excitement of him wanting to nerd out. It was, You're doing it wrong.

It's more of like he thinks I should not do any advertisement and no marketing at all, that I should just be like, Just do what you do and orders will come in. You know?

Yeah, it's just different philosophy on how to run a business. But what I would worry about him is that you guys may make two grand in a month, and he quit his job for something that's not even official, that he hasn't, quote, unquote, filed papers for yet. Yeah. That makes me a little nervous. Does it you?

Sounds like he should focus on his own business right now.

I understand where it's like when it comes to sales and cars, where it's like, you're not really guaranteed to sell. But the income is decent. We have a lot of saved up. We have the flexibility.

Okay, good. As long as you guys are in a good spot. Yeah, at this point, that's just a different way to run a business. I would just tell them, Yeah, I don't need the thought. It's creating too much conflict, so I'm going to go over here and run it this way. If it doesn't grow in five months, let's reevaluate together.

Yeah. Just reset the conversation and say, Hey, we need to reset on the values that we both have for this household, for our money, and for our business. As long as we are aligned on the values and the principles, the process in which way we run the business, it doesn't matter. If things go south, you're going to go, Hey, listen, I need some help here. The ads aren't working. What do you think we should do? That's wise to have that counsel. You need to support each other. And you can do the same for his business, too. But it's not out of a lack of trust and micromanaging. It is a truly, I want to see you win. And when you win, we all win. Right now, it almost feels competitive. I don't know if he's jealous of business because it's more successful than his right now or what's going on. But I think you need to get to the root of it. I don't think we've cracked it yet. I wish you the best, Emma. These are not fun conversations to have, but they're worth having. And Maybe this isn't a season where he needs to be running this business.

Maybe you guys do need some more consistent income, and he goes and gets a job selling cars, and you run this for now, and maybe another season, he gets to run a business, and you go do something else. I don't know what that looks like for you guys, but being on the same page is a great Great first step. Okay, picture this. You sit down to do your taxes, but instead of stressing out, You're actually ahead of the game and filing with an affordable software that makes your computer shoot confetti when you're done. Okay, not that last part. But Ramsey SmartTax does make filing easy and doesn't make your bank account cry. Ramsey SmartTax is a 100% accurate software that's honest about its pricing and is backed by a company who's been in the business for over 50 years. So go to ramseysolutions. Com/smarttax to take advantage of early bird pricing and stress-free filing. That's ramsey solutions. Com/smarttax. Our scripture of the day, 2 Chronicles 15: 7. But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work shall be rewarded. Dwayne Johnson said, Be humble, hungry, and always be the hardest worker in the room.

I love Dwayne Johnson. Wise words from The Rock. I love The He's one of my favorites. He's likable. He is. I know. Well done. Good quote.

Dee is in Wilmington, Delaware. Up next. Dee, welcome to the show.

Thank you for taking my call. Sure. I just got a life insurance inheritance because my husband passed away in November. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, gosh, Dee.

I'm sorry.

How old was he? Thank you.

44.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, I'm Do you guys have kids?

We do. A 17-year-old and a 14-year-old.

Oh, wow, Dee. I'm so sorry. Oh, my gosh.

Thank you.

He had life insurance, though?

Through his work. He didn't have it privately, but there's $150,000 in his life insurance that I did get to collect. He had some 401k that went into my 401k, and that left me with a pretty good amount. So I have like $900,000 overall. Oh, good.

Okay.

How old are you?

54.

Okay.

Anyway, I can't afford the mortgage by itself, but Because I have kids, I have survivor's benefit that's going to come to me until my son turns 18 and graduates. So for the next year and a half, I should be okay with making payments on the house. Okay. But then I lose that, and then it's just my daughter. And so I think I would have to pull from something. So I don't know if I should use the $150,000 and put some of it in to the mortgage, to help pay off the house, or should I invest it? I don't know what to do with it.

Yeah. How much is left on the house?

Two hundred and thirty-seven.

Two hundred and thirty. Okay. And financially, do you guys do have consumer debt?

No. No debt? I don't have anything but house, yeah.

Okay. And what savings do you have that's not investments or retirement?

I have about 30,000 just in savings.

Okay, perfect. Just like an emergency fund.

Yeah. Most of our money went to his medical stuff, so I could put more away.

Okay. And your income, what are you making a year?

A hundred. Okay.

Yeah, I'm just thinking I probably would ride out. I think I would just keep that 150 in probably a high-yield savings account right now, and with the survivor's benefit, ride that out for a year, and then I would probably plan on pulling some of that $150,000 until you're able to pay off the house. Because you'll have probably, after if you apply the whole $150,000, you'd have 80 grand left on the house, and that feels doable to me.

Yeah. What's your margin like right now with just your income and the survivor's benefit?

What's my what?

How much margin do you have at the end of each month? How much money left over after paying all your bills?

I don't really know because it just started. I should be getting... And I took a leave of absence for two months, so I don't really know, but I think I will have at least $1,000.

Okay. And how much is the mortgage a A month?

Twenty-two. Okay.

But you'll probably have a thousand after mortgage and everything is paid off. But when that survivor benefit is over, you'll have 2,200 that you got to pay per month, correct?

Correct. And once my daughter leaves, for sure. I will not have enough.

The other thing you can look into with a financial advisor is the Rule of 55, which would allow you to access that retirement account, which could help you to knock out the house. That's one other option to look into, and you can reach out to a smart investor pro@ramsysolutions. Com and just walk through all the variables here to be strategic because you have to be. It wasn't a $1. 5 million life insurance policy. If you're trying to make this money last for a long time, or at least put it to good use, the truth is you're going to have to work for the foreseeable future. I mean, you have that $900,000. If you work for another seven years and just let that money sit, it could double. That's the good news. Yeah. So you will be out of the woods soon enough. But just the next few years, it might feel a little bit tight. But I'm not concerned about you losing the house or not being able to make the mortgage payment as long as you can keep up that six-figure income. Is that pretty stable?

Yes.

Okay, great. Then I like Rachel's plan of just letting it sit in a high yield savings for now until you know that you know the next step. Because once you put it in the house, it's locked up in there. And I love the idea of you getting rid of that mortgage because that makes retirement and covering your bills a whole lot easier. So that is still the goal. It's just what's the best way to get there and when.

Okay, that's good. I have also... He had a Roth IRA that's about $20,000, and I haven't done anything with it Because I didn't know if I could... I have some... We haven't done anything in the house because he was sick for so long. So there's trees that need to be taken down. There's masonry that needs to be... I need to do dishwasher. I didn't know if I could I use that $20,000. I don't know what to do with that Roth IRA.

Yeah, because it now is an inherited IRA?

I've done nothing with it, but it's an option to be an inherited IRA.

Yeah. And do you have savings outside of that that you could use to cash flow some of these things around the house?

I have $30,000 in savings.

That's your emergency fund?

That's my emergency fund, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I wouldn't touch the emergency fund for these, but I would try to cash flow it, even if out of your future income. I love the idea of that money continuing to grow tax-free if you don't absolutely need it.

Okay, so then should I just make it into my... Do I make it inherited or do I put it in my own? Because I have a Roth IRA myself and I believe I could roll that into there.

Yeah, again, that's a great question for the SmartVestor Pro, because there are going to be differences with the required drawdowns from an inherited IRA versus rolling it over. So if you are able to roll it over, there might be some upside to that of you not needing to draw down immediately. But again, it's $20,000. It's not the bulk of your networth. But I would just be more hesitant because that's all tax-free money. And so we want to just protect that as long as we can to let it grow tax-free.

Okay, well, they said... Okay, so that's my goal is to keep it growing tax-free. Okay, because they did say, If I took it out, I wouldn't have the penalty, but that I would still have to use it as income. Yes, because it's inherited.

Yeah, exactly. So I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're asking the right questions, Dee. It's not something anyone ever pictures themselves having to go through. Yeah.

Usually, we say, too, with any bulk of money after a tragedy, just pause for a year. Don't make any big moves. Even that life insurance policy, not making a big move of putting it right into the house, just wait a year. I think a lot of more clarity will come because you're still right in the middle of new grief. I mean, it's been just a few months for you, so I'm so sorry.

With teenagers at home. Well, if you need a good high-yield savings account, Dee, you can jump on to fairwinds. Org rams. They've been great partners with us, and they have an awesome smart bundle just for our fans. That's a great place to park that 150 until you know what to do next. Good reminder for life insurance.

That's what I was going to say, George. You guys, he, thankfully, had something through his work, But we really do recommend people get 10 to 12 times your annual income. A term policy. Don't do a whole life. Do a term policy. If you're a stay-at-home parent, half a million dollars or even 700,000 on you Because people depend upon the work that you're doing or the income that you're bringing in. In this case, again, I don't want to fault them by any means, but that'd be a million dollar term policy. I guess, depending on what he was making, but if he was making 100 grand, too. It changes the dynamics so much of a grieving situation when you don't have to worry about money on top of it. If you're healthy, you guys, and if you're... I mean, any age, but especially if you're younger, it is so inexpensive, so inexpensive. Xander's great because they shop so many different companies to get you the best rate.

A lot of them, you don't even need a medical exam. You can do it all online, which is awesome.

As your family grows, you guys, and your income grows. Winston and I just had to do this probably about two years ago. We looked up and we're like, Oh, my gosh, it's been a few years, and our income has grown over time, so we got to make sure that we're matching that, too.

You might get an extra policy for 10 years, a shorter time span.

That's right. So you all look at... I mean, yeah, life insurance is one of the best ways to say I love you to your family.

A lot of times, because you have it through your employer, you go, Well, I'm good. I have it through my employer. But that might be one to two times your income. You need 10 to 12 if you want to actually be able to live off of this and invest it and live off the growth. So get it done today. Let this be a sober reminder. Zander. Com, or you can call 800-356-4282. That puts this hour of The Ramsey Show in the books.