Transcript of #2436 - Whitney Cummings

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That's just for Dice to hold.

Yeah, he just holds onto him. Oh. And he. He holds onto him, and then he swaps him out for a new one.

Was the unlit cigarette like the original fidget spinner?

Well, most people don't do it because most people, when they have a cigarette in their hand, they want to light it, but dice has got the ability to just hold on to the cigarette.

Do you remember when candy cigarettes were a toy for kids?

Yeah, I had those. Oh, yeah. They were priming you.

Totally. And they would poof. Like, sugar would come out.

No, I don't remember that.

Oh, yeah, you go. And, like, powdered sugar would come out.

Really?

Yeah. Am I right, Jamie? Am I making that up?

I remember them just being like a candy that you saw.

Or is that just the cocaine stick parents put on it?

It was just a candy chalk stick. Maybe there was. Maybe there was a different one. Maybe there's more than one kind of candy cigarette.

Couldn't you. There was, like, gummy cigars, I remember. And then the candy cigarettes. That must have been them just trying to get you addicted to just, like, the motion of it or, like, participate with your parents or something.

Yeah, it was just a way to sell candy, but probably also engineered by the tobacco companies. That was back when they were lying about cigarettes being addictive, too, and causing cancer.

They used to prescribe it to pregnant women. Right?

They just prescribe it for kids with asthma. Yeah. Need to strengthen those lungs up, fella.

And this is my favorite thing. Did they know? They already knew.

Yeah, they already knew.

They already knew.

Everybody had to know. You smoke cigarettes for a while, you start coughing up black, you feel terrible.

According to the Internet, this. This pack did have some sort of would blow smoke, according to this person on Facebook.

Whoa.

I remember a play lighter or a lighter battery.

So a battery smoke that would suck on this battery.

What the fuck?

As kids, we would suck on actual batteries.

We just wanted to go, oh, yeah. Remember when you lick them, dude.

We went to try to, like, square one.

Yeah. The nine volts.

We'd be in school. Just, like, lick it. Lick it. Like.

Yeah, we would lick it just to get a jolt in your tongue.

It is wild how like, like, yes, the phones are obviously very bad for kids, but when you think about the stu we did as kids, I was just like. I would just hang out with a light socket for, like, two hours. That's all I Needed a paperclip Light socket. Like, light socket or like a. Yeah, the electric socket. Electric socket.

You would go into an electric socket with a paperclip.

Did no one else do this?

That's really bad.

Did you inhale glue or.

No. Oh, I sniffed it.

Rubber cement. Yeah. Okay, good. I'm like, okay.

Oh, I used to love making models. I used to make, like, Godzilla models. You know those. Do you remember those models? Yeah, you had rubber cement glue. Do you remember those?

Yeah, yeah. You would in Elmer's, too. Peel it off your skin. We just put it on our skin and just peel it off.

Oh, yeah.

Just like a leprosy fetish or something.

Yeah, well, the. The rubber cement glue was a big one, though. A lot of people sniff glue.

We used to have a glue gun. My mom had a glue gun.

For what?

It's like a hot glue gun. To craft crafts. Arts. Crafts. Okay. Kill men. I don't know, when you look back at shit your parents did, you're like, what was that?

What were you interested in?

Why did she have powdered gold and put it in coffee of the men she was dating? What was that? But, like, a glue gun? Like, there was just so much dange as growing up. When I think about my, like, injuries as a kid, I'm like, yeah, I got burned on the glue gun. Everyone's like, huh?

Yeah, they weren't looking out for kids back then. Like, when did they start, like, worrying about dangerous toys?

I. I mean, after, like, the 50th lawn dart, you know, aorta puncture.

Oh, I remember lawn darts. Those are crazy. Just throwing, like, a weapon. And they were heavy. If they hit you in the head, you would die, dude. Right in the heart. Let's. Let's look this up. How many people do you think died from lawn darts?

Way more than is reported for sure.

Right, right, right.

I'm just putting this here so I don't.

It has to be dozens.

And seesaws.

Yes.

You remember seesaws? No. Seatbelt? No. Just. Just plywood with handles.

With a handle.

But we would also. It's such a testament to our nature because we would make it even more dangerous. Like, remember, like, you'd be on the seesaw. Like, if you were up. I would. You'd, like, jump off it?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

To watch the kid.

Just to watch the kid fucking plummet to the earth.

So sadistic. Just KE to the.

Okay. What is. Our sponsor, Perplexity, said pointed metal lawn darts were officially linked to three child deaths in the United States before they were banned. Just three. Definitely more than that. Officially linked from 78 to 86, approximately 6,100 to 6,700 people were treated in US emergency rooms for lawn dart injuries, most of them children. Found lawn dart injuries led to a 4% case fatality rate in its patient sample with many severe head and eye injuries, which helped justify the eventual ban.

So only a couple, but mostly children. I would like to know the story of the adults, but I mean, people.

Hit people with shovels. Yeah, I guess because lawn darts are a toy that they had a bandit.

Yeah, there was a lot of that. Remember? What are the pogo sticks? I mean, those were so dangerous when you think about it. They were just like, they were just like always.

They still have those though, pogo sticks.

Those were hard to do.

The most dangerous toys for kids, trampolines.

Remember the ones with the metal coils?

Oh, did you ever see the Atomic Energy lab in the 1950s?

Yes.

Yeah. It actually had legitimate radioactive material.

I love that. They were like, you know what, guys? Child labor. This is inhumane. This is wrong. Come go play with some toys. Here's a radioactive uranium bomb.

Well, didn't Michio Kaku make a, some sort of a reactor in his basement or his backyard or something like that when he was a child?

When he was in high school?

Yeah. Legend. Well, he's like a legitimate scientist, but I mean, when he was a child, he made a fucking nuclear reactor in his backyard.

I went to get nyquil or Sudafed the other day and they made me show my id.

Oh yeah, because you can make meth with it, right?

Right, right, right. Sick.

Meanwhile, you get a prescription for Adderall. Just say you have adhd.

I don't even think you have to do that. You just have to be like, I'm bored.

Right.

I'm neurodivergent.

Yeah, right, you. I mean, it's all self diagnosed. I can't concentrate.

Are we gonna look back the way that we look at like, you know, the Nazis and go like they were on meth? Are we gonna look back in like 20 years and be like, everyone was on Method.

Yeah, everyone's on Adderall, that's for damn sure. I mean, the amount of journalists that are on Adderall is off the charts. A friend of mine was telling me like all of his colleagues take Adderall to help them work. Yeah, because they have so many projects that they're doing that require intense research.

And they're googling, saying, chat GPT. Please write my article for me. Did you see, I think it was the New York Times or someone left in. Jamie, do you remember the prompt that ends the. You know what it spits out on ChatGPT to prove that they had just copy and pasted it, like wild.

Yeah, well, there's a lot of that. There's a lot of shitty people in every walk of life. There's bad doctors, bad plumbers, bad journalists. But a lot of them are on Adderall. A lot of them are on speed.

It's just that there's so much adrenaline out there to get. There's so many, like, natural ways, I feel like, to get that, you know?

Yeah. But I don't think it covers it. And I think if you really want to, like, sit in front of that fucking computer and bang out words, it seems like Adderall is the way to go.

But if you really do have ADD or whatever, this is like, I'm the first to say, like, what are all these diagnoses? But because I was prescribed 5mg, slow release Adderall to sleep.

To sleep.

If you actually have it, it calms you down. It doesn't amp you up.

What is it? What is this adhd?

The inability to focus or.

It's not real.

A busy brain, Dude, I. Look, I just. I think a lot of our superpowers are being dull. A lot of people with superpowers are being dulled by pharma, and we're being pathologized for actually kind of extreme strengths, you know, in a lot of ways.

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Okay, good. I'm not like a.

No, like legitimate psychologists, neuroscientists, It's. What it is, is you can't concentrate on things you're not interested in, but you can concentrate on things you're interested in, like, heavily. Like, if people that are. That supposedly have ADHD, they can play video games for fucking 10 hours.

That's right. That's exactly right.

Well, how come? Because it's exciting.

Oh, they can't sit in A classroom and watch some pedophile lecture them on fake history while they're getting hemorrhoids and some, like, chair with, like, shitty lighting above them. I mean, it's like, yeah, of course kids are bored. Of course they can't sit still.

Exactly.

You know? Well, it was. I was reading about how Finland. They don'. Teach their kids to read until they're, like, seven because it's better to have them develop their ability to focus first on the things they want to do. So by the time they do learn to read, they actually, you know, can focus.

Sounds like a terrible idea. You're gonna be so far behind my kids.

Well, yeah. I mean, look, kids in America learn.

How to read when they're little babies.

If at all. If at all. Like, I mean. Yeah, that's the other thing. When it's like, don't teach kids to read. It's like, by that time, is Neuralink just gonna learn to read for them? Who knows? It's interesting. Like, having a kid now. I'm like, what do I. What world do I promot prepare them for? Do I even teach the Mandarin? Or is that just gonna be like. Remember when you two just put a song on our phone? It was so weird.

Well, that was Apple's idea. And, you know, I talked to Bono about that. He was. You know, it was devastating for them because all of a sudden, everyone hated you, too. They used to love you, too.

Yeah.

They had so many hits. They're so good. And then all of a sudden, you. Why are you on my phone?

Is that interesting? The human nature of I love something unless you force it on me.

Yeah. Well, it's just people are always looking for a reason to complain. And if you have this song on your phone right away, like, hey, fuck these guys.

But also, I want to hunt. Let me find it. Let me feel like I discovered something.

Well, I think they just thought it would be a great way to promote this new album, and they just really didn't understand human nature.

It's also. Yeah. It used to be, like, if you saw five billboards for something, you're like, I got to see that movie. Now you see, like, five ads for it, and you're like, why are you trying so hard? Like, if it's good, I'll hear about it.

Yeah. I try to tell it to my friends, like, do not get overexposed. Like, there's a re. I mean, I don't just say no to everything because I'm not interested in doing anything more.

Yeah.

But it's also Because I'm clearly overexposed. And you got to know when you're overexposed. But I have friends that, like, they'll do every interview that anybody asks. They'll do every project that comes up. Yeah, they never have any time. Like, I gotta slow down. Yeah, you got to slow down. Like, why are you doing all this shit? You're already wealthy. Yeah. Why are you doing this?

Be a little mysterious.

Live a fucking life. Live a life on top of what you're doing. Live an actual life. Don't wait until you're 60 and go, what did I do?

Right? Even if it's for. If you need to justify it through workaholic purposes. Like, it took me so long to get out of my workaholism the first time, I had to do it by justifying it, by going, I'll be better at my work if I have a life. Like, for art, to imitate life, you have to have a life. That's how I'm gonna go get stories. That's how I'm gonna go. You know, I think especially as a comic now, there's a lot of funny people out there. I think if we've learned anything from memes and stuff, you're like, I don't. This guy just works at Best Buy. And who made this meme? This is hilarious. You know, I think in the beginning, a lot of it was, like, stolen from comics. Remember, like that fat Jewish.

Oh, yeah. Whatever happened to that guy?

There was another one too. I don't know.

But he was stealing memes or he was stealing jokes and turning them into memes.

There was a couple where you would go, like, that's a Mitch Hedberg joke. Like, that's definitely a Steven Wright joke or Demetri or something. But like Zach Galifianakis or it would be lesser known comics, you know, like, they go to a lesser known comic feed. Like, people that wrote for Fallon or.

Leno go to a showcase night at.

The store or, like, get their tweets. You can just pull their tweets and change them a little bit.

Whatever happened to that guy? Cause he was hated. Boy, when he got started getting exposed, he was hated. And then he just kind of vanished.

There was another for a while. It was another one, too. And I don't remember the name of it that was doing the same exact thing.

But the fat Jewish guy almost seemed like he was like a corporate created entity. He had, like the crazy hair, right? That weird bun.

That's right.

Yeah.

He was like a slob. Like, but he had, like, a wine.

Like, it sold it to Anheuser Busch for millions of dollars. I don't know how much.

What did he sell?

A rose. Rose, right.

What is rose?

It's a type of wine, but that's actually what. That's what the brand was called. The.

Oh, no, no, no. I know what rose is. That is great.

My heart cannot take.

He made a rose called what?

The rose.

I know it's Rose. The wine called Babe.

I see that now. His rose company called Babe.

Oh, so he sold his wine, and then he just like, I'm out for millions.

And now. Yeah, it says he's about to open a bank. Oh, this article.

Where do I sign up?

Whatever. It must be hilarious if he's opening up a bank. Definitely didn't ste jokes. Yeah, most. Most really hilarious people want to open a bank.

I love that. He's just like, I'm Jewish. What am I good at? Open a bank.

Like, what is not even Jewish exactly? Baptist or something. Yeah.

Jews are like, we're not fat. What is it? Like, get your together. But also. Yeah, that was so, like, for a second there, I was like, joe, there's a chance he doesn't know what Ros is.

No, no, no, no. I know what that is. You know, I just thought it was a company.

It's what, like, the Rainy street killer gives his victims before pushing him up. Dude, your boy Brandon over here. I was like, what's up with the rainy. I always want, like, the updates on the Austin serial killer who's pushing gay dudes off bridges. And he said he's like, I think it's tech. Tech guys, they come down from San Francisco during South by Southwest, and he strikes when it's like, a tech conference.

Really?

And he doesn't live here. Yeah.

They're trying to pretend that it's not really a serial killer. The cops want to say it's not really a serial killer. And I'm like, how many guys have to drown before you start getting nervous?

So they're only gay that these guys.

Well, it's a gay neighborhood. That's the thing. Not all of Rainey street, but there's a lot of, like, gay bars and gay spots on Rainey Street.

How do the cops know the victims are gay? They just, like. They just check their assholes. They're like, hey, like, I his. I fucked the corpse's asshole.

He's gay. They bring a dilator.

You know, I've seen that guy on Grindr.

He is gay.

That it reminds me of, like, the Nazi it's been 10 minutes. And I brought up Nazis twice. The. That Nazis also killed gay people. And, like, I'm obsessed with how there were Nazis that had to find out who was gay.

So did Christians.

Oh, really?

Of course. It's in the Bible.

Like, I just. These guys, they are gay. Let's get them.

In the old days in the Bible, if a man layeth with another man, you're supposed to be put to death.

That means, like, someone signed up to be like, I'll do it. I'll. I'll investigate who's gay around here.

Well, the thing is, though, they were all gay.

Yeah.

That's the crazy thing. Like, if you go back in history, guys were each other all the time. The Spartans did it. They had a philosophy that you would defend your lover more because, like, if you were fighting alongside a man that you loved, you would defend him more.

Was it love? Is that what love is? I'm still trying to figure it out.

Everybody's got their own definition for that. Like, what is it? Yeah. Love is mysterious.

That's a. That's wild. I always am, like, what are the things we're doing now that we're going to look back in 50 years and go, remember in 2006 when they were doing that?

Trans surgeries. 100. Especially on children also having phones.

24. 7. Phones will be like cigarettes.

We'll be like, no, it'll be in your body by then.

Oh, right.

It. It'll be fun. They'll be laughing. Remember you used to have to carry your phone around? Right. Back in my day.

Right, right.

You could leave your phone at a restaurant.

Right. Remember when you couldn't just print from your mouth?

Remember when you could find a phone and just make calls from it because there was no passwords? You found someone's flip phone, you just open that up and start calling people. Yeah. You have to shut your phone off. You'd have to go to the Verizon store. I go, hey, shut my fucking phone off.

And by then it was just calling China. Yeah.

That was the other thing. You would have roaming charges. Do you remember those?

Yes. Also remember when you lost your phone and that was it?

Oh, yeah.

Now I can find my phone within my own house. It'll tell me what room it's in.

Well, not only that, if I don't find my phone, I could just go to the Apple Store and my phone is in the cloud, and then instantaneously, I get a new phone that's the same phone as my old phone with all my Messages, all my notes, which is even more. My notes are more important than my messages because I keep so many material ideas.

But you back them up.

Oh, yeah. Always. This episode is brought to you by Visible. Have you heard of Visible? It's the online wireless with unlimited data and hotspot for $25 a month, taxes and fees included, all on Verizon's 5G network. It's the ultimate wireless hack to save money and still get great coverage and a reliable connection. Got a resolution to save? Kick 2026 off right now. For a limited time, new members can get the Visible plan for just $19 a month for the first 26 months. Ring in the new year with code. Switch 26. Share the savings with a deal that's too good to keep quiet. Switch now@visible.com terms apply, limited time offer subject to change. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. Yeah, that. That is. I do. Not only do I back them up, but I use other apps as well. I use Evernote. I back them up.

Oh, yeah, I like Evernote and Elephant was one I was using for a while. It's like, same thing. Like, organize helps, like organize because you can also search, like, by keyword, you know, because sometimes, like, I've. Look, mom brain, you know, is real. But I think it's kind of good. I think it's like. It's like a software update. It's like deleting shit I didn't need to be remembering anyway.

That's a nice way of coping, you know?

Like, my hippocampus was just full of some. I actually, in some way feel like you might be smarter if you forget half the shit, you know, because half the shit we learned has been debunked anyway. Like, half of, like, science and history, like, is not even. So me unknowing. It might even make me smarter.

Like, Andrew Huberman was having a conversation with a professor at Stanford, and he said, what percentage of what's in medical journals and what's taught in school is no longer applicable? He said, at least 50%.

Unbelievable.

At least 50% of the stuff that they were telling people. Look, look, they just turned the food pyramid upside down. Crazy.

The food pyramid. Not only did it used to just be like, like bran muffins, it was just. It was rice, like, bear claw. Like, what the fuck?

Yeah, you need spaghetti. That's number one. SpaghettiOs is at the base. So crazy ravioli slightly above that.

And remember, they had just had a fish with, like, eyeballs. Like, that's actually probably A good one now, but.

But at the top, you know, now, like the littlest amount of stuff you're supposed to get is grains, and you're supposed to get meat and eggs at the bottom, which was always. I mean, look, there was a study that was, like, widely criticized fairly recently that labeled Froot Loops as being healthier than ground beef.

But who sponsored that study?

That's the thing about all these things. It's like, who are these people? And can I see them naked?

Yeah, that's it.

Take your fucking clothes off. Let me see what you look like.

That's my same thing about quotes. You know how, like, we're in this quote where you'll just like. And you probably don't have this in your algorithm, but it's like inspiring quotes. And I'm like, I need to know who said it. I need to know who said it.

A lot of times it's fake. You'll see quotes attributed to Einstein.

Sure.

And then I'll try to find out if it's real and it's not.

Right, right. But it's just sort of like.

It's like slightly anti semitic quotes. You know, you're like, oh, Aristotle really say this?

Right, right. The Stoics. Yeah. Like, I don't know, man, but they.

Weren'T even Jews back then. There was this guy talking about, I'm.

Gonna unfollow Ari Shafir once and for all. But that it said General Mills on it. It said GM on the side. When we were all looking at this pyramid, we knew that General Mills put this pyramid out. And we didn't even think that there was a conflict of interest there.

Did you know how the whole Kellogg's serial thing came about?

The Jerry Seinfeld movie?

No, Kellogg's. Do you know why he decided to make sure, like, these bland cereals?

Why?

To keep people from masturbating sick. That was the whole idea behind it, to give people bland food so that they wouldn't get aroused.

Is that what causes erections? Asking for a friend.

Yes.

Is that how I get my guy on.

Yeah. Spicy food. Put it on your pussy.

Really?

He's in.

Cause I remember the Seinfeld thing was the post. That was Pop Tarts. So this is how actual cereal was invented.

Cereal, Breakfast cereal. Kellogg's breakfast cereal specifically. He was like some sort of a weird puritan. Hey, let's. Let's look it up. Because he had some really bizarre ideas. But the primary idea was that if you feed kids bland food, it would stop them from being horny.

Kids, Kids. Do kids get horny?

I'm sorry, yeah, like 13, 14.

Okay, okay, okay, got it.

Well, as soon as the hormones start going, sure, sure, sure. I remember being like, where is all this coming from? Like, you're all of a sudden horny. Like where you were never horny. And then all sudden you're 12 and it starts coming on like a storm.

Yeah.

And then you're 13, like, what the fuck?

And all your female teachers want to fuck you.

Depends on if you live in Florida.

They're all just letting you motorboat them between periods.

I think you made that wrong, Bobby.

Yeah, it is. Once you have a kid. Like, it really is. I feel so cliche. Ways you change once you have a kid. Everyone warns you and you're like, okay, okay. I mean, you really look at every authority figure around kids differently. Every teacher, every coach. You just like, what are you in this for? Like, you're not in it for the money, right? You're getting paid nothing. You don't have kids to go to school. Like, what are you up to, dude?

Indoctrinating kids. Here it is. Bran flakes. No. Kellogg's brand flakes were not created to stop kids from getting horny. But the broader Kellogg's serial story is tied to some very weird anti sex ideas from the 19th and 20th century. Kellogg's brand flakes were introduced in 1915 as a high fiber breakfast cereal market, as a health food aid, digest and promote better for you breakfasts. Where the sex myth comes from. John Harvey Kellogg, a physician and Seventh Day Adventist. There it is. Did believe that bland plain diets, especially cereal and nuts, could help reduce sexual desire and masturbation. And he pushed those ideas at his sanitarium. So what the fuck is the. No, it's a myth. It's not a myth. This is his idea. He believed it and he sold that stuff. How can they say that's a myth?

Can you imagine how hard the publicists at Kellogg's are working? Yeah, because to make sure that's not.

On the Internet, that's why it's listed saying that it's a myth. That's the only reason why perplexity is getting confused. Because there's a bunch of propaganda saying it's not. All you have to do is look at the first thing. John Harvey Kellogg believed that plain bland diets could help reduce sexual desire and masturbation. And he sold plain bland food.

And back then, cereal was pretty much just for kids. You can already assume that it's going to be targeted at kids.

These Beliefs are most closely associated with early Flake cereals, like Corn Flakes and his general biological living health philosophy, not with bran Flake specific. Whatever. So how true is the rumor? It is fair to say that some of Kellogg's early cereal experiments were influenced by. By his belief that plain foods could encourage sexual restraint. So it is a good rumor. So why are they saying that? It's not that it's a myth.

Typed in bran instead of Corn Flakes.

And it's just, oh, bran.

There's.

It was. It was the bland's Bland, not. Did you think I said bran?

I mean, I typed in bran because I meant bland.

Yeah, I know, but bran is, like, a little bit more flavorful. I used to really like bran.

I love Raisin Bran. Yeah, it's delicious.

Raisin Bran is the bomb diggity, so filling.

It's so good.

Especially frosted raisin with the sugar. I would. And we would pour sugar on it too, because. Oh, we always thought sugar just gave you cavities. Nobody thought it was killing you.

Yeah.

So we take scoops of sugar and just throw it on those Raisin Bran.

Frosted Flakes was my.

Oh, yeah. I was a big Captain Crunch man myself.

Peanut butter. Oh, yeah, Captain Captain.

Yeah, Captain Crunch Crunch.

We used to mix white trash till I die Apple Jacks with cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Ooh, those are good ones.

Now what? RFK now what?

Yeah, you better let me keep having those. You know, I don't think you should ban those, man.

I think, like, it's important to have restraint and to have the option to do something.

And then how about have a little fucking discipline every.

That's it. That's it.

Yeah, that's it. How about give me the Fruit Loops with the dye. I want to look at pretty colors.

I want my shit to be neon.

I'm not gonna get cancer if I eat one bowl. Okay, shut up.

That's the other thing. It's like. Like, the stress is the worst for us. So the stress about, like, should I eat it? Should I? Is worse than just eating it.

I was just talking to a friend who has suffered multiple heart attacks from stress. His doctor says there's nothing wrong with his arteries, right? And he's gotten these heart attacks because literally his. His body constricts. He's in, like, a very serious situation, and his body constricts so heavily that his arteries fucking close up and he has heart attacks.

So what is the difference, like, between. Because I'm all about, like, good stress on your body, like, exposing yourself. To good stress and then bad stress. Your body knows the difference. Right? Bad stress is going to be like the cortisol and then good stress. That's like adrenaline.

Right. Well, I'm hoping you're going to cut me off.

Please cut me off.

Hermetic effect. So the hermetic effect is like there's an argument with certain foods. Right. There's an argument against certain foods like, that they have phytochemicals in them. So what they have is like. Like an actual toxin that discourages predation. Right. But some of that is actually has a hermetic effect and it's actually good for you. Like, what's a good one? Broccoli sprouts. You know, what does that have? Phosphoraphane. What is it? What is the word? I can't remember the photos. Beneficial photosynthesis is how they convert sunlight into. To food. So.

But like, when you're doing good stress, like exercise and.

Sulfurine. Is that what it is?

Yeah, I think you just said it as I was. I think that's the word.

I think it's sulfurane.

Is that it right there on the screen?

Sulfurane?

Yeah, sulfurane, a plant compound formed when you chew or chop broccoli sprouts, which activates an enzyme that converts a precursor called glucoraphanin into sulforaphane. Broccoli sprouts have far higher levels of gluco. Glucoraphanin. Glucoraphanin. Than mature broccoli, which is why they are such a concentrated source of sulforaphane.

So you're eating the plant stress. That's.

Well, plants do release chemicals. You want to hear a crazy one? This is really nuts. Plants are intelligent in some sort of a weird way. And one of the things they found is that if, like, say if a giraffe is eating certain bushes and they're eating them upwind, and so the wind comes down and the other plants recognize that they're being consumed, and so they change their chemical profile to make them disgusting.

Starts tasting bad. Horses. Same thing. Horses will all be grazing in one place, and then they'll just pivot out of nowhere. And you're like, what's going on? And they'll move to different grass.

Yeah, it's like the grass realizes that it's happening. Oh, my God. It's a grass apocalypse.

And, like, lets off some kind of, you know, acid or something.

Nuts.

Wild.

So this is the argument against consuming plants that all the carnivore people use is that there's these chemicals. Like, find out what the chemicals they talk about. What are the chemicals that carnivore diet people think are dangerous from plants. The idea is that plants can't defend themselves. They're stationary. And so what they do is they release things that make them disgusting.

Got. Got. It makes sense. It is like, you know, after having being pregnant, I kind of just surrendered to being like, what if I just ate what I craved? Like, let me just let my body wisdom or whatever, like kind of go, you know? And it was sourdough bread. Not regular bread, just sourdough, which I wonder if that's allowed on the pyramid.

It's a lot better for you, right? Yeah.

Sourdough bread, eggs and meat. No salad. Like, it made me like nauseous to like even think about salad. But maybe that was just my blood type or whatever it was.

My wife was really into frozen pizza rolls, those little disgusting things. I would buy them for her.

I'm like, are you sure that is a Texas bitch? Like through and through.

Carnivore diet advocates Advocates often argue that many common plant compounds are toxic or anti nutrients that harm digestion, hormones and or nutrient absorption. Carnivore influence usually group these under umbrella anti nutrients or plant defense chemicals. Oxalates is one for sure. Oxalates is terrible for you, but the way to get around that is cooking them. So like, this is like I used to. I used to always drink kale smoothies. I used to take kale and throw it in there with garlic and ginger and drink a smoothie every day.

Then you left.

Laughter no, I mean, I felt fine doing it. I never got kidney stones or anything like that. But then I started reading about oxalates and then I had a bunch of people on that told me that you can get kidney stones. And I did actually get my blood work done and it was high in oxalates. But also that's from almonds. Eat a lot of. I used to eat a lot of almonds, lectins, grains, beans, nuts. There it is. Promote leaky gut autoimmunity and general gut irritation. Phytates. What is that? Phytic acid. Grains, legumes and nuts criticized for binding materials that and reducing their absorption. Tannins or other polyphenols described by some meat advocates as additional plant defenses that can inhibit nutrient absorption or act as pro oxidants. But one of the things that I've heard from people that are pretty knowledgeable is that the issue might not be the actual plants itself. It might be pesticides.

That's the Other thing they say the worst thing you can eat at a restaurant anywhere is salads because it's just covered in pesticides. Like I am washing my fruit and vegetables more than I wash my own body.

See if this is true because I read this that 100% of all California wines tested possible. Tested positive for glyphosate.

And out in Malibu, Raytheon, because there was a Raytheon plant.

Oh yeah.

Uh huh.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And cum.

Actually, Rocket Dime used to be in my neighborhood.

Wild.

Yeah. I wonder if I got juiced up.

Remember when I went out and before I had a kid and I was just fighting people over rescuing giraffes. I had an instinct to mother and I was just mothering everything except an actual baby, including giraffes. And the wine that was made up there at that place, Malibu Safari had tested positive for Raytheon and people were getting sick for Raytheon.

How do you test positive for Raytheon? Okay, they tested 10. And a 2016 investigation by ABC 7 News Beyond Pesticides reported that 10 out of 10 California wines tested positive for glyphosate. Whoa, that's nuts.

I'm obsessed with these sort of health and wellness sort of myths. And where do they like, wine's good. Red wine's good for you. Like what alcoholic, like, made that popular? Remember, like it's got resveratrol.

It's this.

It's like the amount you would need to get. The amount of resveratrol that would make a difference is. Would kill your liver anyway. But like, dark chocolate's good for you. Like these things we just like.

I think dark chocolate is good for you though.

Is it?

Yeah, I think that's legit. I don't think wine is necessarily bad for you. I think alcohol is bad for you. But I think it also loosens you up, it makes you happy, which is better for you than being sad, depending on where you are, right? So if you were the group of people like you and I and a bunch of friends went out to dinner, we all had wine, we're laughing our asses, that would probably be really good for you.

And it removes a little bit of the ability to. And that was always my thing. Like, I don't. I've three, three and a half years off pretty much anything. I mean, I was pregnant. I have a kid. Like, you know, I gotta be focused. Like a toddler is just like suicidal. Like I'm, you know, but you know, I think with. At least I'll just speak for myself. My brain a glass of wine. I'm just able to be present without going, is this a good joke? Which should I write about? Like it just takes off that like sort of like interior anthropologist narrative that is like I always have to be categorizing things and filing things as jokes or cross referen referencing things and you know, filing things away for future standup and I.

That's the thing, right? It's because you always need new jokes. It's like you're always farming and when.

You hear something that's like, oh, that'd be such a good premise. It's like, ah, you know, sometimes I'll just like do what you do. I'll put it in notes to just file it away just so that I'm not thinking about it so much.

That's the only thing that keeps me sane. Because if I don't do that, if I don't, it's going to get away from me.

Same.

I have like, same. At least my family knows. Like sometimes I'll jump up from the dinner table and I have to run away because I know it's slippery. I'm like, this idea is slippery. I'll be right back. I got an idea.

Let me just write it down. Let me just write it down.

I have to write it down and I come back and I don't tell them the idea because it's usually they're like, what?

Yeah, yeah, trust me, it's gonna sound bad.

No.

Okay, Jews, Jews do run the meat. Just let me, let me flesh it out this idea about Jews and blacks. But yeah, as long as I'm able to write it down, then I can be present.

Then you know, you saved it. Neil Brennan used to say that his joke book was basically like a net for catching ideas.

Love it.

I have one great idea, great premise.

Promise. I have a joke. I'll write it down in my, like a notebook. But I'll of course leave it somewhere and it just looks like my suicide note. It's just like words that's just like Kegels, you know, episiotomy. Like it's just crazy words. But. And that's the other thing that I think having a kid gave me that I didn't even know was possible, which is what I thought like weed or you know, a glass of wine or whatever before was. I've always just been trying to figure out how to get present, like be in the present moment, you know, which by the way, is there a biological basis for being in the present moment? Probably. It's probably you know, was, you know, a detriment. Back in the day, you wanted to be like, two steps ahead or this is what just happened. And eating that berry was bad. Like, being in the present moment probably got you killed back then.

But that's what they think ADHD is about. It's about being a persistent hunter. We have a problem with the software that we're running and perhaps maybe the computer. So the last few episodes.

Jamie, please cut my audio. Reddit will love this episode.

They don't love anything.

Just cut me out of it.

There's a bunch of people I'd like to see naked. All the negative Reddit commenters, like, you guys need to go outside.

Touch grass, babes. I look at those guys and I'm always just, guys, girls, whoever. Like, I meant I go on. Right?

But like, they're non binary, all of them.

I always think, like, if we didn't get to do what we do, would we be doing that?

100%. I would. I would say that, like, when people are like, really mean to celebrities online in comments, I'm like, I would do that 1000, 1 million percent if I was 16 years old and I had a fucking Twitter account and they have a plane.

Yeah, yeah.

Fuck you.

Just like, hey, asshole. Like, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'd be going after Everybody. I would, 100%. That was all. Especially if I get them to respond, right? I'd be like, woo, I got him on the hook. Look at this.

And then like, Kimmel would, like, read negative comments on his show. Like, you can get on a show is. Which is, by the way, what's happening with, like, crowd work. People come to shows now trying to get in a crowd work video. Just heckling and yelling.

Yeah, yeah. Especially if the someone is known for responding to hecklers.

Oh, no. The first four rows are people that are, like, in hair and makeup. They have like, hats on. Like their tits are out. Like they're ready with. They're like, hey. And I'm like, I'm not filming this show, guys. Sorry.

People want to be a part of something.

Do you want to know where I'm from? It's like, I don't. I don't care. I'm in Austin. I know you live. I don't give a shit.

Well, that's the weird thing about social media and the Internet in general is that everyone has a voice now, which is great. And it's also terrible. Yeah, it's both things. It's great because some people emerge from that voice just like we were talking about Memes. Some of the hardest laughs that I get during the day are these memes that anonymous people have created. And someone sends me same and I'm like, same. And then I send them to people. I don't know who the made it.

Can we pause one second again? It's now not recording the audio. Even though we can hear everything. It just stopped all of a sudden.

Did it record any of what we just said? Because that was. Hold on.

It is still going. It is still going.

That was good.

I'm gonna trust it. It's just not visually showing up. We'll trust it.

Oh, boy.

Having a conversation about being in the present moment and like, wait, you didn't record that? Yeah, I was being so present, Damn it.

It's. I. I think, you know, we're in this weird transitionary period where we have a new technology and that allows everyone to have a voice. And I think overall it's very good because you have more voices. And it's just people have to discern what's a valuable voice and what's not. And you know, that's where I tell people, don't read the comments. It's not good for you. You. Because you're getting too many non valuable voices. And if you've done a good job of curating your environment and curating your friend group, you've eliminated all these people that are really shitty and bitter and jealous and nasty and. And. And also, like, have no ability to look at themselves.

Yeah. But also, like, to all my. Like, I was just on did Norman's podcast with Sam Roll, and they were talking about the comments and I was like, guys, like, I've said worse things to you than any of these comments. Like, we're comics. We all sit around and are so much meaner to each other.

Meaner about other comics, and aren't there. Oh, God, we're the worst shit ever.

Totally. It's just sort of like, nothing in this comment section is worse than what Tony Hinchliff just said to me on the phone in a conversation.

And you laughed.

That's what I think. I just talked to Tim Dylan for an hour. Like, I have no self esteem left left. Like, this is like a warm hug. Like, my comment section is where I go for compliments at this point.

Sometimes I forget that when I'm hanging out with normies, you know, and I'll just drop a bomb.

Same, same look at their face.

Like, what the did you say? Like, I thought we were talking.

No, I did that yesterday. I was checking into the Hotel. And we're in Texas. My mom's from Texas. Whatever. And this. This dude that works there was wearing like. Like cowboy boots. Like, solid cowboy boots. And I was like, oh, sick. Cowboy boots. I mean, like, they're just high heels for men, but, like, cool that you guys call them, like, cowboy boots. And he was just like. And I was like, oh, you. You're gonna fight me? Like, this is not. I can say that to, like, Tony Hinchcliffe, because I'm always like, hey, you moved to Texas so that you could wear heels. Like, so that you basically wear cowboy boots all the time.

Like, dating. He was going through a period of time where he's wearing nothing but cowboy hat, hats and cowboy boots on stage.

Dude. And then, like, a Gucci. Like. Like tracksuit. Like, name a person that knew less about what to do with their money.

Than Tony's doing now. He's wearing vests. He wears vests all the time. It's a thousand degrees.

Bulletproof vest. After the. He was at the Trump rally. Smart. Puerto Ricans have guns, homie.

The Puerto Ricans love him.

Yeah, they do. They really.

Any group of people that are great at talking shit, it's Puerto Ricans.

It's like Jennifer Lopez. Cut to her, like, crying because she's like, what are jokes? But, yeah, I love.

She doesn't count.

So I. Have. You made your will?

Oh, yeah.

Okay. So I'm making my will, which as soon as you have a kid, they're like, make a will, or else your craziest family member is gonna, like, get your son, you know? And I have him, and I. Am I allowed to make a fun. I wanna make, like, a funny will. Like, I want to give Brian Holtzman, like, a million dollars just to see what he'll do. Just to look down from heaven and just see him with, like, probably buy suspenders, just calf implants. Like, just like. Like seeing what Tony did with his money. Like, watching all these comics, like, Bobby Lee, he just, like, shows up in, like, women's shoes. Like, he'll just be in, like. You know those, like, Golden Goose sneakers. They're like 700. They're bedazzled.

He wears bedazzled sneakers.

Well, they're like Golden Goose. Do you know these shoes?

Yeah, I have a pair of gold.

Yeah, but they're, like, shimmery with, like, a le.

It's weird because Golden Goose, they come out worn out. Like, you buy. I bought them in Aspen. Yeah, you buy them worn out. And everybody was really into it. I'm like, they're already pre worn. Like, this is weird.

It's like when you did, like, bought jeans with holes in them, like, ahead of time.

Like, I never did that, by the way. Yeah, no, that's not. That's a lie. I did it for a while and then I was like, what was wrong?

Yeah, it's like. But I like holes in the knees because you can move around more. Like, that's actually useful. I'll always cut holes.

Oh, you need to buy, like, stretchy jeans. Jeans.

You know what? I did start buying stretchy jeans, and this is actually the worst thing I've done since becoming a mom. You just become such a dork. Except your wife. Your wife is just like. She's like, my hero. I'm like, how do you stay. Why are you so hot? Like, you're my mom. You're, like, allowed to just look like Rachel Maddow, but you do this. Like, I need to get back on the horse because I started buying sweatpants that look like jeans, and I'm just like, what am I doing? Like, it's just.

Well, there's a bunch of jeans like that that you can get now. What are those? What they're called? Perfect jeans. Those are really good. I got a few pairs of those. I think that's what they're called, right? Perfect jeans.

Like stretchy guys.

Yeah, those are great. Rev Town. Rev Town makes great pair. They're great.

Yeah.

Barbell. Barbell jeans. They're nice. Yeah, they're made for people with big thighs.

Yeah.

Because my jeans wear out in the middle. Because my thighs are always rubbing together.

Right, Right. Oh, like in the. Yeah, yeah.

That's where they tear open.

Yeah. Yeah. I need.

And I need to be. I need to. I can't wear something that I can't kick somebody in.

But also, fuck yes. So good to be in Texas where the real men are. That's how they think. My fiance's.

I was thinking, like, that always.

All your whole life.

It's so funny.

My fiance's like, he's just. You don't realize till you date. It's like, very straight guy that you've only dated gay guys.

Very straight guy.

Like, I. I always was like, oh, good. Metrosexual. Like, my dude. My favorite thing to do is ask him what he's thinking about. Not like, what are you think about? Like, hoping it's me or, like, our wedding or something. I'm just, like, fascinated. I'm on the edge of my seat, and it's usually like, if I could fight that guy.

Or the Roman Empire?

Yeah. My God, dude, I just like jerking off, thinking about tigers tearing apart criminals. Like, what about the Roman Empire? Exactly. That's so crazy when you think about it. I mean, didn't. Didn't species go extinct because of the Roman Empire? Because of the Colosseum fights?

I don't believe that's true. I've never heard that.

When I did like a tour of it, they said that, but I'm sure they were just trying to.

Yeah, they're trying to juice you up. Let's find out.

Even if they did, how could they prove it? I guess it's.

Well, they don't really. There's a lot of like, speculation that's probably erroneous about why certain animals went extinct, including wooly mammoths.

Also, there's a lot of animals out there that maybe you guys can't find. We don't. Oh yeah, we don't know. Like. Oh, okay. Not to bring up California, but have you seen this doomsday fish?

Was that. That.

It's a fish that only appears when an earthquake's about to happen.

Oh, great.

And they're. And they're coming up around Monterey in California. It's like. It's like a syringe with fins.

Really.

You know, these like fish at the bottom. Bottom of the ocean that we.

Oh. And they're getting away from the bottom because they feel coming up, it's coming.

They're like coming up to the surface. They're.

See, I've never heard of this before.

But my brain also goes like, maybe they've been around and you just haven't seen them.

But that's true. It's not like we have cameras down.

There, 20 at all times. Yeah.

Coliseum animal fights did not clearly drive any species to global extinction, but they did help wipe out or severely reduce some regional populations and subspecies. Like what? These tunts killed animals on a huge scale. Ancient sources describe thousands of animals killed in single festivals and tens of thousand over imperial reigns. Modern historians argue that this sustained demand contributed to local or regional disappearances, especially when combined with hunting. Hunting, habitat loss and warfare. Well, that like just what they did in America with market hunting. They almost wiped out everything in America because no one had ice. Right. So you had to get meat every day. So they wiped out almost all deer. They wiped out elk from elk. Used to be in all 50 states and now they're only in a few. They wiped out almost all of them.

And this is fascinating to me that just the Roman Coliseum thing, because I think that My brain always does. Whenever it's like, can you believe people in the comments are trashing Sabrina Carp or whatever. It's like, yeah, people used to go watch, you know, people have their limbs torn apart by lions and sit there and like, cheer and suggest. They would yell out how to kill people like that. You know, they would go watch at the town square. People get hanged. Like, this is right on time.

They'd watch people have sword fights.

This is the most humane version of publicly shaming people we've done thus far. It's just like, you suck. Like, that's like.

Right. It just hurts your feelings. Yeah, right. And it only hurts your feelings if you read it.

But I also don't think anyone has only made a comment on Joe Rogan's or only on mine. I don't think it's like, just personal.

Well, it's probably one schizophrenic person that just concentrates on you.

Yeah. Oh, no, I have many of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But there's. Most people are just.

But I don't think they're normal with everyone else. And then, you know.

Well, that's the argument that some people have that I completely disagree with, that you should. It should be your name. Everyone should know who's posting that and that you shouldn't be allowed to post anonymously. My problem with that is that eliminates all whistleblowing.

Oh, good point.

You know, you're working at some defense contractor and you know they're doing something horrible or whatever. You're working for some oil company and you know they're doing something evil. No, you can't. You can't have completely anonymous. I mean, you can't have only like, recognized accounts, whether you know the exact person who's posting things. Because sometimes you need to have anonymous sources.

But also it's, you know, essentially like, I'm always interested in, you know, finding the like, equanimous, real life version of something digital. So it's like negative things in the comment section. That's like being at a football game and someone being like, Tom Brady, you suck. Like, Right. He obviously doesn't suck.

Right. The same thing.

You're wearing a Patriots jersey. Like, you obviously love him. You're just like being an idiot. You know, it's kind of like, how about UFC fans?

Some of them are the worst. They're like, he's a.

He fights for a. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

You don't fight in his underwear, barefoot, in a cage for a living. And you're calling him a pussy.

That's right, people. I mean, and also think about what it would take for you to stop and leave a shitty comment. You would have to be in such a dark, dark place to, like, need to just, like, throw a stray at someone. And, like, I like to think of it as, like, a weird service. And maybe this is just me trying to, like, sublimate it into something positive because, like, being a female comedian on the Internet, it's, like, pretty wild. And it's like, I signed up to make people happy or make people laugh or give people some kind of escape from their life. And if you hating me or saying some mean gives you, like, a hit of, like, great. I don't think I came into comedy being like, everyone has to love me like that.

It's not possible. Yeah, people hate Chappelle Hell. It's literally not possible.

The people I know that take the biggest risks and that, you know, are polarizing. Like, I think the most interesting comics are polarizing. So if everyone liked me, I'd probably be pretty boring. And.

Well, there's a few people that don't take risks, that are hilarious, that aren't polarizing at all. Like Nate Bargazi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or Gaffigan, but Sebastian. Sebastian. But Gaffigan got really polarizing when he went political. A lot of people got mad at him for that.

That's right.

But I think he was drunk.

Oh, interesting. He did a.

Pretty sure he was drunk. He likes to throw him.

Was he doing online, though? What's new? Like, doing online, or was he doing it live?

Oh, he was on Twitter.

Oh, he was on. During the.

The Trump.

That's right.

I remember he went crazy, and he lost, like, a giant chunk of fans. People turned on him. You know, he's the Hot Pockets guy.

That's right.

He's, like, involved in politics.

It's interesting. Wouldn't that. That kind of. I think that as a comic, like, it's, you know, and you do something sort of different here, but I never, you know, to take a side just feels so weird. It just feels so bizarre, because I think it's really our job to be able to defend the indefensible, just even as an exercise and to, you know, to be able to deeply believe that two things can be true at once.

I think it's the opposite of what wokies do with animals. So with wokies, with animals, they're like, adopt, don't shop. I think with your ideas, you should shop around. Don't adopt, don't adopt. Like, all the ideas that the left has or all the ideas of the right has. Shop around.

Also, breeders are bad. So rescue a dog from a breeder if you need to, right?

Well, some. Look, breeders are bad, right? Okay. I have the best fucking dog in the world, and he came from a breeder.

Some are good, some are bad, Some rescues are good. Some. Some of the worst people on Earth are animal rescue people. Some of the worst people on Earth work in charity.

You know, That's a fact.

That's a fact.

That's a fact. Did you see the data about the LA Fire money and where it went?

Did you see the data of the. What was it? How many billion was supposed to be spent on homelessness removal?

24. 24 billion unaccounted for.

I'm not even mad. Just tell me where it is. How do you even hide this money? How do you even hide it?

But I want to show you this. Did I ever send it to you, Jamie? I know I saved it because it's so crazy.

It was like. There was a concert.

It was like $100 million. But where it went is literally absolutely nuts. I'm gonna find it.

Oh, and Jamie, did you find that doomsday fish? I just want to make sure.

An article about it from 20 a couple years ago that said it shows up when.

Doomsday fish? Yeah, there was one up in Monterey. They said that came. I'm obsessed with the fish that we don't know about.

Okay, I just sent it to you, Jamie. So the House Judiciary Committee released a report on the LA Fire Aid concert. Among the findings, fire aid was used. I mean, this is going to. I'm sorry.

Okay.

I don't know why I'm coughing. Fire aid was used for activities such as voter participation initiatives. Podcasts, they give $100,000 to podcasters. Approximately $550,000. And donations went to organizations involved in political.

Well, that's money laundering. That's just money laundering.

$550,000 out of 100 million. $250,000 was directed towards programs benefiting undocumented immigrants. Look at this. A hundred thousand dollars to podcasters. I want to know who the. The podcasters were that got a hundred grand.

Yeah. What are you talking about?

Like, what does that mean? Like, what, did they prevent fires with that money? Money. $500,000 was used to cover salaries, bonuses. Imagine you got a bonus because there was a fire Consultant fees for nonprofit.

But if it's a nonprofit, why are you giving it money?

And why are you giving them bonuses? Half a million dollars. Okay. Many Worthy nonprofits did receive grants that were used to support victims. This report provides lessons for the distribution of, or the disbursement rather of any remaining fire aid. Funds go down lower because it keeps a good racket.

Everyone I know that works with a charity has, like two houses. Like, good for them because they don't have taxes either.

There. There's. Sorry, there's more where they. They laid all this stuff out. So this is Kevin Kiley, who is. What is his congressman from California. So he's. He's outlining this because he tried to look it up. It's crazy, but, I mean, some of that is criminal. This. This one drives me nuts. Organizations involved in political advocacy. Advocacy, legacy. Half a million dollars.

Why is anyone advocating for politics? Like, what does that even mean?

It's just stealing money.

That's right. That's just money laundering.

That's just stealing money.

Wait, Fungus planting projects. What to plant fungus.

Fungus planting policy. What?

Fungus planting projects. Just growing weed. Yeah.

The best way to keep people from.

Doing this, man, this is what it is, dude. It's like lyrics like, everyone that's pissed that their house caught on fire, take these mushrooms and you will realize materialism doesn't.

It's all bullshit. Yeah, you're part of the universe, man.

We're all connected. Like, if someone else has a house, you have a house too.

Like, this is the universe telling you to get the out of here.

I mean, it is like, a lot to process. I mean, there's a point where you're kind of like, my brain goes like, when there's nothing you can do about it. You're like, what do I do? Like, do I just get mad? Do I just look away? Do I become the person that's retweeting shit and just being that person? Like, you know, the things we have to kind of just decide with our economy of bandwidth what to be outraged about. And maybe this is it. The idea is like, we'll throw so much at you that you'll just get exhausted.

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Yeah.

Ecosystem.

But also they're like, we know we're gonna get away with this. Like, I just love.

But they're not because this guy, the congressman is looking it up. It's gonna, they're. They're definitely gonna talk about it. It's gonna be a problem for these people. It's gonna be a problem during reelection. And it's supposed to be. They're monsters. These people are evil. They're really evil. Like, what they're doing is stealing money from people that decided they were gonna donate money because they thought it was a worthy cause and it wasn't a wor.

Happened. The idea that it was like donate. It's like, well, you were just in a fire zone too. We pay enough taxes in California to not have to have charities to donate to fire victims.

Right.

Do you know what I mean? Charities are such a scam because it's like, well, no, this is where our taxes should be going to stuff. We shouldn't have to have these charities where people are donating money to help. They don't have money either.

Well, it's a scam. And when you find out where the money actually goes, that's when it becomes a scam. When you find out that the vast amount, like if you have $100 million that gets donated to legitimate charity, it's very likely that only 30% or less is going to the actual cause.

And that person doesn't pay taxes on top of that because charity is a tax write off. So my taxes aren't going to pay for that cause. And then you're not paying taxes anyway. And then I have to give you extra money. It's just like, it's just such a charity culture is just such a bizarre. Does every country have this charity culture?

I don't know. Well, our charity culture is really weird because of usaid. Because USAID everybody thought of as like, oh, it's aid. We're giving aid to all these other countries. That's important people are gonna starve. And then you realize like, oh, no, it's not U.S. aid. It's U.S. agency for International Development. So a lot of it is about overthrowing foreign governments. A lot of it is about. About funding these NGOs that are supposedly nonprofit, but people extract the money out of them.

What's your defense?

It's a lot of money laundering. Yeah, a lot of it is money laundering.

Fascinating.

It's so much. Mike Benz is the guy to follow on that. And Mike Benz is like, he's gone deep, deep into all this shit and uncovered an insane way. He said the USAID is for things that are too dirty for the CIA. When it's too dirty for the CIA, they send it off to a non government organization that's an ngo. So an NGO can do things that the government can't do legally. So they'll go and use this money in a way that our government can't do it, but it's our government's money. So it's. Your tax dollars go to do things that the government's not allowed to do. And the government just does it that way through an ngo. And people profit massively. Money is just flowing around and no one knows where it goes. Like the $24 billion that went to the home homeless problem in California, where it only got worse.

I don't even get how you hide that much money. I don't even get how you laundered and hide. I mean, that's like.

It just shows you how crazy scams are in this country. We were learning that out about the Somali.

Oh, yeah, the Minnesota thing.

Yeah, but that's just one part of it. The Somali daycares in Minnesota is the tip of the iceberg. California is way bigger. So people are digging into the problems in California now and they're saying, no, no, whatever you thought the fraud was, there was a guy that was running a daycare, a bunch of daycare cares. He had no already a red flag in California. No one at his organization. No kids pulled up in a Rolls Royce when they're investigating a Rolls Royce.

Couldn't even just get Alexis. No, they can't. They can't just be cool. It's like Dane Cook's brother or whatever who stole from him, like, pulled up in like a Bugatti. It's like you couldn't.

Did he really?

It was like something, I think something crazy. Like you couldn't have just got an Acura.

That's when he found out that his brother was stealing from him.

I think it was like a car that pulled up, like, I know what I know what.

What car? Like, sunk Daniel's brother, by the way. He got out of jail and the money's still missing.

Stop.

Yeah, there's a ton of money that they never recovered. He might have hit it in a coffee.

There's some real rich hookers in Pensacola.

I'll tell you what, he might have blown through all of it, but I'm pretty sure. I mean, you'd have to ask Dane, but I'm pretty sure that a lot of the money was unrecovered.

He donated it to the LA fire victims. Yeah, it's like people that steal like that. Like, it's like, for what I understand, it's like kind of a gambling addiction too. It's like, I got away with this. Like, you get this invincibility complex of, like, now I can get away with this. And then you just get in over your head and you show up one day in a fucking, you know, Ferrari. And I was like, huh?

Did you ever see that documentary, the Seven Five?

No.

The Seven Five is all about the 75th Precinct in New York and how corrupt it was. It's a really good documentary. I had the guy who was the main guy, Michael Dowd, who was a. Who was a corrupt cop.

Love it.

I had him on the podcast and explained it. He said the first day of. I mean, if you watch the documentary, documentary, first day working, they threw a guy out of building and killed him. And he was like, shut the fuck up. Like, you know. You know what you saw now, you didn't see shit, right? Yeah, I didn't see shit. Like, they killed a guy on his first day on the job. And he's like, okay, this is. This is, I guess, what we do. And so he was selling drugs, robbing drug dealers, and showed up at work with a Corvette and a brand new.

Badass Corvette under a blanket and just drive a Honda to work. Like. Like, you could have gotten away with this forever.

Get an old pickup truck.

Stupid. I love that, dude. I love it so much.

This guy shows up at his daycare in a Rolls Royce.

It was like the wild, wild country guy. He could have got away with that forever. But it was like the 56, like, bedazzled rolls Royce. Everyone was like, I don't know, man.

Yeah, yeah, he had a bunch of Rolls Royce places, but God told me.

I should have these. Like, huh. I don't know.

But the people, yeah, are retarded. That is one of the greatest things ever by the People. For the people in the. Pause, dude. But the people are retarded.

Tough titties.

So. So it's for the retarded. But. So look at this. 42.1 million. This is the guy. Guy.

He's trying to cover the car with his body.

Pull back and let's. Let's hear what he says in the beginning of this.

Cuz, I mean with all that money, maybe buy some OIC too, homie.

Ah. Like he's eating. Good hear? He says, ever since Nick Shirley has done his reporting in Minnesota, we have.

Iranian daycare centers in California. Over Here we have 1412 South Crescent.

Heights Creative Children Academy. Nobody has come in or out of.

This facility and not nine months.

Every window is just boarded up because.

No one in LA has kids.

Look at this Rolls Royce.

Where's the money?

Jump sheet.

The way the door opens is so funny.

Where'd you get this car? Property. Yeah. Did you win the law?

That's.

That's assault.

Don't touch me. This looks fake.

It really does.

It looks fake as shit.

It looks fake as shit. This looks like completely staged. There's just the way he walks up and grabs the car. What? When you saw people with cameras and you've got a convertible, you would turn around.

I think you would just turn around.

It's just too convenient. There's no one there. Why is he there?

Right out front?

That looks fake.

He's not wearing any brands.

It's also there's something in my mind registered his face when he started talking. Wait a minute.

This is the guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

100.

So it's fake. So I just like.

That was like a staged reenactment or something. Yeah.

He. It's. It's horseshit.

Yeah. This is like when I repost videos where people have like seven fingers and I'm like.

It's just bad acting. I saw his face. I saw his face. I'm like, this guy's a bad actor. This is like a Hallmark special.

Well, when he took off the golf hat like Douchebagger Vance, like before to start his thing.

That's just engagement.

Yeah, yeah. Why are you wearing a suit? Wearing a suit.

Meanwhile people are sending that to me like it's real. There it is.

That thing. Yeah, but it's.

They want it to be real.

Yeah, yeah. And by the way, you get to a point with real and fake where you're just like, it might as well be. You know, it might as well be.

But that guy, you could tell his face was fake. He's like what?

Yeah, it was.

How'd you get me?

Yeah, get out.

This is private property. Like this guy.

The push was a little for someone who was about to lose everything. Like, the camera work was pretty good too.

It's just. He's just being silly. Yeah, but there's always. There's a lot of that too. That's a problem. It's just like we live in a. A strange world and no one investigated where all this money was going in the. No one investigated.

How could you.

One of the things that Elon said to me said Medicaid fraud is the biggest amount of money that's fraudulent in this country. And he didn't want to even talk about it because he was worried that people would kill him. That's what he said on the podcast. He goes, I could go into this, but they'll kill me.

That's like someone saying they have something. They didn't have to get the catastrophe insurance thing because like, I had a.

There's a lot of that.

Yeah. Like my dad had a stroke and you get like. It was stolen by a family member. The fraud is within my family. But really, that, yeah, that you get like 20 grand Medicaid part B, I want to say if you have like a stroke, it's called a catastrophic event. They'll just like give you like 20 grand or something. Is it like that? You like fake that or something and then get that money type of thing. Is that like what medic to fake a stroke?

No, what it is, is, well, here's the daycare thing. Like that's part of it, you know, and then there's a bunch of people that don't exist that are getting Medicaid money.

Right, Right.

Yeah. And then there's autism diagnosis. Right. So they self diagnose as autism. They open up an autism center. They have a bunch of kids in the autism center. They get money for those kids. There's no autism. There's no kids. It's all fake.

Right, right, right.

There's also like, there's. There's these fake scams where there, There was one that they uncovered in Minnesota where they were supposedly feeding an exorbitant amount of children and there was no kids. No one was going there. But they were saying they were feeding like 5,000 people a day.

Sure.

They didn't even have the capacity to feed 5,000 people a day. There was no food coming in there.

But the American dream. Politicians.

The politicians were getting so much money from these people, just from the Somali community that owned daycare centers. The Minnesota politicians were getting $35 million last year.

Is that. Is Tim Walson to blame for that?

Well, he just stepped down from his reelection. That's not good. Good. That's not good. When you were almost the Vice President of the United States, many people came.

At me, people that I'm like, thought I was friends with. Like, acquaintances more maybe, but I now realize they were acquaintances when I made fun of Tim Walsh for going to China so many times. Like, which let me not get this wrong, it's definitely more than 10. More than 10 or something that Tim Walsh just like went to China to go. Like, which is, you know, if you're gonna have gone to China that many times and then run to be the vice president, why wouldn't you. You, why would you hide it? Number one, why wouldn't you lead with it as like, this is one of our enemies. I've been. I know the language. Like, why wouldn't you either lean into it, make it. I'm an expert on it. And this is one of our big issues. Like the fact that we all pretended that he wasn't going to China. First of all, on what salary are you going to China every year?

Was he a politician when he was doing this?

What's your miles program?

Well, I could see if you were a businessman.

He was a teacher.

He was a teacher.

He was going with kids. He was taking kids to China. China.

But I mean, doesn't that make sense though, that you're taking kids on an international trip so they can learn about.

The world, Only China.

Maybe that's his area of expertise.

I'm trying to like, but why not lead with it? I know, me too. I do the same where I'm like, why doesn't you up with. I've been to China 35 times. I took kids there so they could learn Mandarin because they're going to have to interface with China later during business. Like, it was just like this thing where it's when someone else tries to hide something, something that I wouldn't have thought was untoward. I'm like, well, hold on now. It's weird, right? And why can't I ask a question about it? Whenever I would say, how many times did he go to China? Everyone's like, what? What?

And I'm like, well, here's the crazy one. When the all the Somali daycare center came out, he started blaming white men for all the crime.

Sure.

What about white men? Well, he's white men with all the crime. He's trying this that he's like, what about me? Playbook.

What about me? I'm the criminal. I'm a white guy. He's telling on himself right then and there.

What do you mean? He was basically trying to say that it's racist. Racist. But it's not. Facts aren't racist. Like, it's just clever. Just if. What if they did it themselves? You know, if they did it themselves, if they were the ones that were perpetrating the fraud. The real problem is if they didn't do it themselves, who helped them fill out all those forms? Who helped them organize this? And is this a money laundering thing? And are they filtering this money into other people's accounts? Are they filtering into offshore accounts, accounts? Because supposedly. Here's another one. Supposedly they were sending money, like, on a regular basis back to Somalia and they were catching them at TSA in Minnesota.

Sure.

See if that's true, Jamie.

It's a lot. It's a lot, you guys. I mean, it's. It's, you know, I guess the. Also, the other question is, when all this is going on, I'm like, do I focus on this? Or, like, are we going to war? Like, you know.

Well, you can only focus on so much.

I know.

That's the thing about the Internet. If you want to get outraged, it's there to feed you.

Yeah, totally. And then, and then once you click on something, they're just going to keep feeding you more and more of that. And I'm sort of like, is this as big of a story as my algorithm is telling me it is? Because I remember, you know, and this is, I think, why it's, like, more important than ever to be on stage as much as possible, to just corroborate, like, a premise, to make sure that everyone even is aware of it, given our little echo chambers and stuff. But remember when Kamala Harris was, like, giving speeches that it kind of seemed like she was shit faced? Like, it just. It sort of seemed like she was like, slurring words or something. Those were, you know, that would come. And I was like, doing this joke about it before the election that was like, you know, like, maybe this is what we need. Like, what's scarier than a, you know, alcoholic woman with no kids? You know, like, she can just be calling up like, big Putin in the middle of the night, like, hey, fuck it. Like, she's just, you know. And I was doing. It was doing.

Well, everyone got it. And then I was somewhere in, like, New York City, I think it was doing. And no one had seen that video. People like, what are you talking. No one had seen. Had any awareness of that. And I was. It was kind of bone chilling because I'm like, eat.

Well, she's probably exhausted. Right. That's the other thing. You're running around. You're doing so much, much. You're campaigning. You're constantly doing. If you catch me. And I'm really tired. I sound like I'm on pills.

Yeah.

Like I'm. And then you're probably a little casual about everything because you're doing something. You're repeating the same things over and over again.

Yeah.

Going to these places, you're completely exhausted or you're coming off of whatever they put you on, totally up.

Yeah. Adrenaline. And, you know, it's also, I think, that they're used to. There's this old, old way of doing things where you could say the same thing on every platform and no one would cut it all together, you know?

That's it. Okay, here it is. I found it. I'm gonna send this to you, Jamie, because this is a. Apparently a legitimate source.

I'm looking up the main source. They said they got it from. It said Homeland Security officials told us. Source called just the news. So I've never. I'm just looking up.

Well, this is the tsa. Yeah.

That's what it says. Yeah. Federal probe. Hundreds of millions of dollars inspected, smaller cash and living. Minneapolis Airport. It says that this is the source story. So I was just trying to find.

Out if it's a legit source, what they were told, and for sure that money didn't just stay in the community. If. Especially if they didn't have the ability to organize this and develop this scam, someone else helped them, and those people were getting money from it. So how were they getting the money? Were they getting the money in cash? Was it being sent and wired to offshore accounts? Like, how are they doing. Doing it?

And what are the.

Clear that there's. There's so much money missing, it's in the billions now. It's bigger than the entire GDP of Somalia just from Minnesota, allegedly wild. The entire GDP of a country. One state's fraud is supposedly over the course of, you know, X amount of days that they. They did.

And is it true that the guy that uncovered it was kind of like some guy, like, it was like, Nick Shirley kid. Yeah. This, like, young kid.

Yeah.

Good for him.

But I mean, there's the other question. Like, did someone direct him towards this? Is this, like. You know what I'm saying? Is this, like, did the Republicans set this up to try to expose it.

Is it.

Is it him just being an independent journalist? He seems like a very smart kid. I've seen him. He was on Patrick Bet David's show. Yeah, He's a virgin.

Why do we. Why do we. Why did he. Why do we know that?

Because he's talks about it. He talked about it. He said he was a virgin. He said they can't get him on anything. He can't get me on sexual assault. I'm a virgin. You can't get me on anything.

We can get you on being a Virgin.

Transportation SEC Security Administration flagged nearly $700 million in cash detected in passengers luggage leaving the Minneapolis airport in the last two years. That's crazy.

Probably it.

Yeah, that's crazy. A massive, massive cash exit exodus believed to be tied to Somali immigrants and their money couriers. Homeland Security officials told Just the news. So who's the Homeland Security official, though? You know what I mean?

Reading through it, that first statement doesn't say like all. All flat A.

It's.

Sorry, let me start this over. Some of these were a million dollars and it says that they were legally declared every time they did it.

Right. But you could legally declare it if it was cleared by whoever the. Is involved in this fraud. Right. So if you're donating $35 million last year, just last year in 2025 to Democratic politicians from these Somali daycares, which I believe is true.

I was trying to look that up.

And couldn't find out bundles of cash and luggage, some as much as a million dollars in a single trip. Raised suspicions.

Yeah, this is the part I don't.

That does.

I was like taking each statement as it doesn't say that those were each like. That particular one was a Somali person. That could have been someone going to Vegas. Could have been someone going by a house. I don't know, like I'm saying all 335 million.

Nobody buys a house with a million dollars in cash.

I'm not saying they did. I'm just saying. But it could have been anybody.

It could have been buying a Bugatti.

Could have been a poker player going to a World Series of Poker.

You know Dan Cook's brother.

Yep.

I'm just sort of saying to be the.

I don't know, Tony Hinchcliffe going to the cowboy boot store.

It's conflating a bunch of stuff together.

Right. Every single. Just the news dot com. Is that a legitimate organization?

Hold it up.

Is that a far right organization? Let's look at their side articles. And we'll get a view of what their perspective is.

Is that what you do look that a little larger.

Let's. Let's see with it. Trump orders government to buy $200 billion in mortgage bonds to lower rates. That's pro right wing CDC misled the public with study implying Covid vaccines save healthy kids. UCLA expert warns also right wing USCS is another sanctioned oil tanker in the Caribbean. European sanctioned oil tanker not just oil tanker they were sanctioned right wing Maduro's ouster leaves China holding the bag on oil investments.

Right wing right also what's in UCLA.

Expert what's up the top one comrade no no larger comrade Singham to face house subpoena as a CCP tied network reveals or leads rather renewed anti ice protest so it seems like this is a very right wing is just the news. Seems like at least see just the news. No noise.

Yeah House and House fails to override.

Trump veto Just said Minnesota travelers alone. I was like well that could be anybody from Minnesota.

Then Minneapolis Travelers alone had 342.37 million in their luggage in 2024. That's a lot of money. Okay, let's find this out. So Minnesota Travelers alone had $342.37 million in their luggage in 2020 2024. So let's put into perplexity. How much money did California travelers have in their luggage in 2024?

How many Bitcoin did California travelers have.

In their California travelers have in their luggage in 2024. But who puts that at the TSA?

Does anyone ever measure your money when you go through or count it?

No.

You're supposed to declare it I think if you have more than ten grand.

But we lie.

Everyone I know, I know, I know that's true.

That's what they said with these were all you know.

But if I went through with with $1,000 they never would know.

Or is it so the amount cannot be determined from available data. TSA and regulated agencies track only limited categories such as unclaimed money at checkpoints or certain cash seizures. And these figures are nationwide rather than specific to California travelers or all money carried in their luggage. Okay so how do they know that about Minnesota?

It's coming from one source. That's why I was like why did they only tell one source? Why wouldn't they have told all that? Like why wouldn't they call Fox? Why wouldn't they call cnn?

Why would it call also it's this one very right leaning website. Right. It appears right.

How do they ascertain cash. Someone's carrying through a. I mean, Tennessee.

Star does it as well.

They were just reporting the same article.

From just the news. Right. So that's another way that you can distribute propaganda. You have one source and then you send that source out and a bunch of other people repeat it. And said as reported by this one. One website might be bullshit.

I also like to look at the ads that are on the surrounding bullets. The article, exactly. If it's like gun safe, I'm like, this is right wing. If it's like tampons for men, I'm like, I think this is a left wing one. Okay, got it. That always kind of helps. That's wild. I have a family member who works in like, kind of banking. And I'm like, what's up with this oil? What's up with the China buying up all the silver? What are we doing? Did you see the doomsday planes?

What's the doomsday plane?

The doomsday plane. That, I mean, could just be a psyop, but it's the doomsday plane. I think it went to California. The one that is in case of a nuclear event, it can hold, stay in the sky for a couple days and self refuel. It's made my nipples hard just looking at it. It's gorgeous.

Doomsday plane.

Jamie, can you pull up this doomsday plane so people listening? Don't think I'm Roseanne.

Okay. Doomsday. Trump's doomsday E4B plane cited in Washington and Los Angeles days after Maduro captured.

But get that pretty picture up of it. I mean, that. It looks.

That's a terrible picture.

Yeah, that just. Yeah, that looks.

Well, that's them citing it. But go back to the art.

Look at this thing.

That's the doomsday plane. What's that?

Isn't that different with the blue stripe?

That's. Wait a minute. They're all different.

This is when they're selling it for Northrop Grumman so anybody can buy it. And then you get it on America's logos on it.

Right. But it's also different in the way it's built. Look at the top of it. Is that the escape pod at the very top where they pop off and go to Mars? It's similar inside the doomsday plane. Okay, so what? Go back to the article. What is the. We'll put it into perplexity. What is the capacity of the United states states doomsday E4B plane? Like, what does it do?

Like stay in the Air for a couple days. It can refuel itself.

What is the capacity of the doomsday plane the United States has?

It's chock full of cocaine, ketamine.

Elon made sure it's got mushrooms.

Yeah.

Okay. And accommodate a little over 100 people. With typical published figures ranging from about 108 mission crew up up to roughly 111 to 112 total passengers, total personnel including flight crew and staff and official media descriptions usually summarized as seating for around 110 people. What can it do? Okay, endurance. Look at that. What's the maximum endurance? Click on that.

No, this thing is like a beast.

Okay, give us one answer.

Could stay alive for 150 hours.

Oh, that's it.

That's not much. With sources describing capabilities from roughly 72 hours up to about a week in sustained operations. So it can fly for a week?

That's crazy because it can self fuel.

Keep it up please. And then how long can it stay with aerial refueling? This is what I think you were getting.

Yeah.

It can theoretically remain airborne for several days, limited mainly by crew fatigue and maintenance needs rather than fuel. Multiple sources describe realistic endurance of roughly three to seven days of continuous flight under sustained operations when supported by tankers and rotation of crew. So here's the thing. If it is a doomsday scenario and you're up in the air for five days, that's just like. That just means you're gonna die in five days.

That's right. Or do you just pull this out as a message to everybody? You know, because you would only need this if there was a nuclear event. Right? So it's the idea to just go like hey, what just happened in Venezuela? Just so you guys know we're flying this thing around, you know, I guess. When's the last time it flew? When's the last time it made a cameo? Also, I don't. I mean I know we were texting about the Delta extraction and like I would never want to. I mean watching the video of the Delta extraction, how they of Maduro, they built like a replica of the building and were blindfolded like going through it, you know, practicing it and stuff. But I was talking to your guy when we were coming over. It could have been pre negotiated, right? There is a chance that that could have been pre negotiated.

They killed 80 of his.

Okay, never mind.

I don't think it was negotiated.

Yeah, no, probably not.

Here's one.

Funny, but it is weird that his wife was. I guess that was like a thing a couple people flagged what did.

They kidnapped her?

Just that she was there and involved.

Yeah, well, she's his wife.

Yeah.

One of the funny ones was somebody posted on Twitter a photograph of this woman and her children, and she's in. The journalist said, this woman and her children, her husband and their father was killed. Killed in the US Raid in Venezuela. And then everybody was like, right. What was he there for? What was he doing there?

Right.

Was he a fucking mercenary? Like, what was he doing? You know, he was Cuban, apparently, because there was a lot of Cuban defense that they used that Maduro used for whatever reason. I guess communists love each other.

Yeah, yeah.

They hang out with each other, other dictators. Like, hey, maybe borrow some of you guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I mean, the guy might have been a mercenary. There was certainly mercenaries working for him. He had 80 people died that were there protecting him. This fucking stormed in. They didn't lose a single US Service.

Why so sick, crazy. I mean, just, like, flawless.

Other dictators got to be like, yeah, I didn't know.

I mean, is that why Iran. They. There. Was that why Iran was like, now's the time. Time, like, to.

Oh, well, the people are cracking down. The people are out in the streets now. But now, apparently, the Islamic regime is assassinating people that are protesting, of course.

And your boy, this is where Elon really shines, like, you know, with bringing starlink over to a country that has cut off WI fi.

Right, right. Because that's what they do. They cut off WI fi so these people can't organize.

I think it's also been cut off for them. I mean, I don't. I think they've had a limited version version of it for so long.

Well, they definitely kill people who protest. They killed a gold medalist in the Olympics. They killed a guy who was a wrestler gold medalist because the UFC tried to get involved and keep this guy from being assassinated. They killed him.

You've seen, like, persecuted, I should say, and, like, video of Iran in, like, the seventies and stuff. Crazy.

Yeah, we did that. Yeah, we did that because they wanted to nationalize their oil. We were like, nah, playa, nah, nah.

Oh, hell nah, brah.

Yeah, they had a democratic society. It is entirely because of the intelligence agencies. We went over there and, you know, the. You could find the story. Fun story. So I don't butcher it. But essentially, the Shah was like, hey, why is the British Petroleum Company or whatever it was. Why are they making all the money? We'll nationalize our oil. And he was gone, you know, within days. And they put in the Islamic regime. And it has been a religious state ever since then. I mean, that's. That's our doing. Or the British oil company and us, multiple different people. And it essentially, it was all just about his oil or the country's oil, rather.

But Maduro, like, he was going to be torn limb to limb at some point, right?

Well, he had a bounty on him by the Biden administration. This is one thing that people need to understand. It wasn't just the Trump administration, the.

Hunter Biden, that's who to send in.

He had his own administration. He's smoking crack. Kill him.

He's ruining my crack.

No, the Biden administration had a bounty on Maduro. They had. I believe it was 20 million or 22 million trying to get people to off that guy. So it wasn't like we're the only ones that think he was a bad guy. They were trying to use money to get people to kill that guy. Guy.

And besides the oil of it all, like, were they going to allow China and Russia to put, like, use it, like, to put missiles?

China was there negotiating with Maduro the day the US Came and kidnapped him.

Bad move, homie.

They came in that day, were having meetings with Maduro, and that night they snatched him out of his bed.

You think to get oil or to put nuclear.

100% to get oil, yeah. They want that oil. Everybody wants that oil.

It's so funny, like, when on, you know, having a kid, you know, the way that it changes you. But, like, the things you focus on, the things you're obsessed with that keep you up at night. Like, before I had a kid, it was like, is he gonna text me back? Now? I'm, like, obsessed with, like, finite resources. I'm like, where's all the helium? Like, we're running out of helium. Like, where's the.

What's helium for besides balloons?

Hilarious. Yeah, I won't be able to have a birthday party for my son. What are clowns gonna do? No, it's for ventilators. Although I think we found the ventilators actually.

Actually in covert.

They killed people. But I think it's like ventilators and medical stuff. Like, you know, helium is finite. Like, there's only a certain amount, and we kind of just use it for, like, the Macy's Day Parade, for, like, floats and. But I think that there is actually a lot of helium in Texas, maybe Oklahoma, and then Qatar is like, the other place that it. We have it, but we have a limited supply of helium.

I never even thought about helium before. Except the comedy clubs don't get me.

Started on say oh.

Shout out to Philly.

Yeah Helium Philly awesome club. Also sand I think.

Jamie, what's the story behind Iran and the nationalization of their oil?

Well that's. I mean that's a. That's a longer story right back to the 50s and 70s.

Right. But when we did it because we definitely were involved the US was involved in overthrowing the legitimate government of Iran.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Putting. Putting the Ayatollah in. And then they. They ruined the entire country because Iranian women are fucking hot.

They are beautiful and smart as shit. I truly every my ob who like saved me and my son's life during childbirth. Like just Iranian bitches do not play around.

They make great wrestlers too. United States initially tried to mediate between Britain and Iran during the 1951 nationalization crisis. But then moved to help overturn Iran's elected government to reverse the consequences of the nationalization all about oil 1953 US officials helped organize the coup that removed Prime Minister Mohammed. How do you say that word? Masadegh? I don't know how to say that.

I'm going to leave you out on a cliff.

Whose rise had been closely tied to the nationalization of Iranian oil. In March 1951 Iran's parliament voted to nationalize the assets of British owned Anglo Iranian Oil Companies company Responding to long standing grievances over low royalties and foreign control. That's it. Nationalist leader became prime minister soon after and made implementation of nationalization central to his program. So under President Truman the U. S Generally opposed the idea of full nationalization in principle but did not want Iran pushed to the collapse or move toward the Soviet Union. Washington sent envoys such as. So they wanted to keep it away from the Soviet Union Union. So they turned into his Islamic regime.

Sure.

George McGee and W. Avril Harriman to seek a compromise that would preserve western access to oil while accepting some changes to the existing concession. Okay. It's who would reversal in 5,153 under President Eisenhower U.S. central Intelligence Agency work There it is working with Britain's MI6 carried out operation Ajax covert operation to overthrow mine. Whatever you say. His name is Masa Day. And strengthen the Shah's rule. The coup removed the government most associated with oil nationalization and paved the way in 1954 for an international oil consortium in which five major US oil companies along with British and other firms gained significant stakes in Iranian oil ending exclusive British control. That's it. We did it.

Fascinated by ruined it. There Was this a TV show on, I think, National Geographic, I want to say, called A Little Light or A Small Light. That was about, like, what was going on with, you know, in the Holocaust. Like, it was a slow. It was slow. It wasn't just like, one day they just got, you know, it was like they, you know, slowly started, you know, seizing art and then, you know, not letting them get jobs. Like, how these gradual things happen. Like, to go from the 70s of, like, the women out in bathing suits on the. To, like, there's women that are, you know, that had enjoyed the freedom and then all of a sudden had to, like. It's just so fascinating that, like, how gradual it is.

Oh, yeah.

And how you get desensitized, how you make.

It's a frog in boiling water.

That's it.

Yeah. You don't realize they're boiling until it's.

Too late or you do know what's.

Happening, and that's what's happening right now in New York City.

But he said he would stop the carriage horses, so I'm all for it.

I'm kind of down with that.

Yeah, me too.

I think that's fucked up.

That's disgusting.

Those horses do not need to be wandering around New York City sniffing break dust.

It's disgusting.

Carrying around.

It's disgusting. I mean, it's, you know. You know, me and my, like, horse thing, but it's. It's so disgusting. And, you know, the amount. It's like, nobody knows how many elephants kill their trainers a year and how, you know, all kinds of crazy. We saw the orca kill the trainer, you know, but stuff like that happens so often and they just cover it up. But the amount of carriage horses, a couple of them got out, and we've seen them get out and we've seen them collapse and all this horrific stuff and something else is going on with it, which is. And look, I'm the first person to say, like, New York was really safe when the Mafia was, you know, kind of like, there's that documentary about how they would sort of protect people in the subways, and you sort of would fill in where the government couldn't. But there's something going on with the horse carriage business. A horse got out who was 29 years old. Archie was his name.

29.

29, yeah. It only had a couple more years. And I tried to negotiate with them. Got a bunch of friends that have, like, fu. Money and basically said, you're gonna get $38,000 cash. This is a horse that's pretty much Done.

Right.

Cash. We'll take the horse in the middle of the night. No social media, nothing. And they said no. The amount of money they're making is so insane. And it's mostly, it's mostly tourists, honestly.

They make that much money from horse drawn carriages?

Tons, Tons from other countries of people that have different ideas of animal respect towards animals than we do.

Oh, so it's mostly foreigners riding in the horse.

I don't think it's a lot of.

White people in those.

Oh, really?

Well, yeah.

Polish people? Russian white, Goofy. Yeah, maybe that. Yeah.

Oh, we're in a horse. It's so romantic. We're out in the, the air and.

It'D be so much sicker. I, I pitch them, like, do robot horses. Like sick dinosau. Do like a dinosaur trolley ride or something around the city. That'd be so much.

Jamie, I sent you that thing about the lady that's now in charge of housing in New York. This is wild. This one's what, she wants to like kill real estate value. That's her idea. Like she wants to, literally to make housing more affordable. She wants to kill real estate value in elastic. Good.

You can't.

Well, she's. It's moronic.

Oh, this woman.

Listen to this lady. Listen to this.

And she has like a million dollars house.

Her mom does.

Oh, well, of course, the housing is owned by a collective and people are paying 30% of their income in order to live in their housing. If your income is zero, you pay zero. If your income is $500,000 a year, you're paying 30% of that. And the government is providing the sort of. The government is the sort of owner, or not even the owner. The government doesn't have to be the owner, but the government is what's making sure all the, all of that sort of works in cash flows.

The debt to GDP ratio right now is the highest since World War II. So how can the federal government also afford to start subsidizing rental housing costs?

The federal government prints money. The federal government can provide money for them.

So it's by printing money. Sure, that's our idea. Print money. The federal government print money to provide housing. Housing, Jack up interest rates, jack up the debt, print money to provide housing. And everyone pays 30% for housing.

First of all, why are you talking to me in a hoodie? What? Like, what mental illness is that? Like, how dare you? First of all, you look like powder. You look like. Yeah, like, first of all, first of all, get a blowout, throw some mascara. Like we're. Are we professionals any anymore? You're in a Costco hoodie and a T shirt. Like, what are we doing?

Well, you seen. They've confronted her about these ideas, and she breaks down crying.

But she didn't even know what she's saying. She's like. Well, sort of like, she was kind of.

We won't own it.

Her training was ucb. Like, she's just improvising an idea. No, the government does that. She's not even making eye contact. Like, damn.

Well, a lot of these Wokies, they come from rich families. They feel bad about being privileged.

Yeah.

And one specifically thing, she said it was gonna really impact white people.

What is fascinating about that is that because I think she believes she's coming from the moral high ground. I think this is what's really sort of. It is someone who I feel like is similar to you. And then I'm like, I was as liberal. I had blue hair, you guys.

I remember when you had blue hair.

I rescue pit bulls. Like, it doesn't get any more liberal than me. Like, it doesn't get any more anymore. But the whole idea with being liberal is like, you had me at we're not racist. Everyone's equal. But, you know, diversity. But then it turns into diversity communism. Diversity, but not diversity of thought. Right. The hypocrisy of it got. And I think that as comics, we're people who. You know, I may not be an expert in politics, but I'm an expert on hypocrisy. When you grow up around alcoholics who say, I love you, and. And then their behaviors in Congress, you study, you look for patterns of hypocrisy. That's just what we're wired to do. So it just started to just be like, hold on. You know, we don't believe in gender, but we need a female president. You're like, huh? And then it's like, my body, my choice. Unless it's a baby that needs a vaccine for hepatitis B, which comes from butt sex. Like, what do you.

Right. And sharing needles.

And sharing needles. And then, you know, we believe in climate change and sea is rising, but we live on the coast. Like, would you buy a house on the beach if you truly believed that the seas are. You know, we believe in recycling, but why can't you give Andrew Yang another shot? Like, why won't you give. Where did Beto go? Remember Beto o'? Rourke?

Oh, that guy was a mess.

But he. But any more so than any.

Oh, yeah, yeah, he's a mess.

Like, worse than.

No I mean, they're all a mess. Like, when you have these blanket progressive ideas, you've attached yourself to an ideology, and that ideology you'll defend because it's your identity, it's you, it's who you are.

But didn't he. He at least seemed, you know. You know, I didn't know that much about what. From what I knew, he made a joke about his wife taking care of the kids, you know, and the left was like, you're sexist. Hate women. It was like this. But what I saw with her was this idea of, I'm so moral that I don't even have to make a good argument. And the left stopped making an argument or even outlining what they're just, well, no, I'm moral and I'm better than you, and I don't have to even make an argument. Argument.

Well, that. I mean, I don't know when she gave that interview. So let's suppose she gave that interview a long time ago, before she had this job. And she was just saying, this is what ideally I would like. And then she gets the job.

Right.

And now when she's. What is her official job?

2021. Was the interview the office of Office to protect Tenants.

So was she working for that office back then? No, no, no, no.

She would have been, I think on my Dami's. I don't even know if he was running. He wouldn't have been running back in 2021, Woody. Right.

Well, she definitely was doing podcasts with him back then.

Well, she definitely just got out of soul cycle in this video and.

But yeah, I don't know what her actual position was back at the time. She might have been on his campaign.

Okay, so this was reason. And they were having this conversation with her.

Yeah.

And so to lead the city's Office to Protect tenants. Look, there's definitely slumless. You should definitely protect tenants. There's definitely shitty owners and landlords.

She's basically saying government housing.

Yeah, but that. What. What she's saying is crazy. Like taking 30% of whatever you make. That's nuts. So if you make a billion dollars a year, if you're Elon Musk or whoever it is, you. You have to make 30%. Yeah, that's bananas.

The thing about New York, and maybe this is, you know, and I don't. I don't even know what's, you know, side anything, an idea makes anybody on anymore. Sometimes I'll say someone, and people be like, oh, so you're like, alt left, and I'm Like, I don't know. I just thought that was a good idea. Then people are like, oh, so you're, like, super conservative.

I'm like, no, I just adopt, don't shop.

Yeah, you got it.

And so shop, don't adopt.

And so New York is expensive. That's the deal. If you don't have. You can't. I remember one time going to Howard Stern's house, and Howard Stern is. He's got more money, and it was like, still in. He was able to get two. Buy two floors of a. But it's still like an apartment. You know what I mean? It's like, New York. This is what. Whatever, $100 million, whatever gets you in New York.

Like, I know it's not.

Still not that big. Like, Like, I know my horse is yard. Yeah. My horse's stable is like, twice the size of this.

But if you want to live in the city for convenience, that's what it costs.

That's right.

Yeah.

So it's like.

And if you're Jeffrey Epstein, somebody donates you a house.

That's right. An office on the Harvard campus. I love it when people that are professors at Harvard, Like, I was professor at Harvard. Like, well, so Epstein had an office, too. But, like, okay. I feel like it's just like, New York's supposed to be expensive. That's the deal, you know? And, you know, I had a place there for like a year. I remember I was in, like, Chelsea area, and. Cause I just want to go back and forth. I was like, there's something about New York that does really put a fire under your ass. Like, I remember, you know, actually it was Dice back in the day. I used to just ask comics, like, you know. Cause you're just. You're a nobody, and you're just starting, and you're in the hallway with a legend. Like, what do you say? You know, And I would always just go, like, if you have any advice, happy to hear it. You know, some people love giving advice. Other people, I was like, going up to Bill Burr, like, help me. Like, I could read the vibe. And he said, sleep. Like, get as much sleep as you can.

And then he was. Is, like, when you make it, make sure you don't get too comfortable. Cause, like, as comics, we still need to kind of. And I think that for a long. For a long time, I think I took bad advice that maybe I had just gleaned. I don't remember anyone giving it to me of, like, you have to be crazy to be funny, or your life has to Be a mess to be funny. I think a lot of comics hold on to that. If I ever get happy or have a kid or am in a healthy relationship, I won't be as funny. I don't think that's true. I actually think it freed up bandwidth. Like, getting out of.

It doesn't have to be true, but it can be true.

It can be. That's right.

Well, comfort can make people fat, too. It can get lazy.

But also, it's like, if you're not, you know, that's why I go to the grocery store. I got, you know, not that I, you know, wouldn't, but, like, you got to make sure that you're still in the trenches and that you still don't. You don't make your life so easy.

That, you know, you're not disassociated. You're not disconnected from the outside world.

That's right. And just atrophied, like, and less resilient and less, you know. And, you know. So what am I talking about? This is. This is where mom brain does come in.

You were talking about New York City.

New York City. So I'm in New York City, and I just wanted to write new stuff. It was like, things were going well. I bought a house, and I was like, you know, new York's just, you just a little more of a dog fight. And I wanted to go to the cellar and, you know, the stand and all these places. And I'm in this apartment. It's probably.

What year is this?

8. Right before the pandemic. Oh, yeah.

You got an apartment in New York.

Before the pandemic for, like, it was. I was already out of it probably six months, months before.

So were you going back and forth?

I had it for a year. Was going back and forth because I also was, like, touring so much that I would go, okay, if I'm going to be in, you know, Florida at the end of, you know, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I should just go to New York because then I'm going to North Carolina that Thursday anyway. I was just, like, doing clubs to work on the new hour.

And you're single, so it's easy to have a kid.

Exactly. And let me just stay on the east coast, right. And. And let me just, like, do a software update. It's like, Ari made me go on a hike for the month, and he's like, you need to go to Somalia for a year with no phone. I was like, I'll just. How about I get a place to go? New York.

Ari's ridiculous. His Ideas are so ridiculous.

I'll go to Little Italy. How about that? For the.

Go to Tibet.

Yeah.

She live in a yurt in Mongolia.

And I remember, like, every time I would turn on the. The bathtub, the toilet would. The effluvium from the toilet would come through the bathtub. It was like some wild dude. And then there was also a elevator in the building that people kick it off on your floor. So half the time I'd be sleeping in St. Like, a bunch of dudes would just, like, get off, you know. And I had this plumber come, and I was like, oh, can you help with the. The gutter going into the bath. One thing that's relaxing is a bath. And then I'm just like, in sewage. And he was like, it's New York. And I was like, no, but, like, can you fix it? He's like, nah. Like, his job is just going around to people and reminding them they live in New York. And this is the deal.

Like, there's no way to stop the fucking sewer water.

He's like, I could snake it. But. But, like, that's not. It's just. This is. And this is part of why, like, Trump won. Like, like infrastructure. You know, there's. Pipes explode all the time because they're just hitting their limit of being, you know, 100, whatever years old. Like. But New York is the place you go when you kind of, you know, want to be in a dog fight on a daily basis. You're going to be spending more every time you sit down. It's 100 bucks. You know, it's. Even if you get affordable housing in New York, like a bottle of water, food, like, everything's expensive there, right?

You know, because it has to be brought in.

It's emotionally expensive. It's literally expensive, fairly expensive. Like, it's, you know, I.

This lady's going to reduce all that. It's going to make everything valueless.

Like, Like. But why would you want to take the. Yeah, I mean, there's things that are artificial value, like art and stuff like that, but land is.

What's probably going to do is it's probably going to lead to some sort of a Republican government there. They're probably going to be a lot of backlash. People are probably going to organize, probably going to realize that you can't have communism and that'll go. It'll swing the other way because everyone's.

Kind of leaving, right? All the people with money are leaving New York. So. So they're saying, like, fucking Robert De.

Niro was Talking about it.

Whoa.

He's like the king of New York's savings. Fine, if that's accurate. But also that might have been a. Might have been a fake quote.

They need to use everybody's tax dollars to pay for all this. But all the taxpayers are leaving. That are big money.

Exactly. But if they're taxing everybody. The thing is, it's like you can't just tax your way out of problems, but because we know that that money goes and it's grossly inefficient what they do with it. The government is not good at using your money. They've never been good. There's not like one example of the government doing an amazing job with your money. Originated as satire. There it is. It's fake.

I mean, he owns like hotels there. He does like the film festival there and everything, right? He's like, yeah.

Oh, he loves it there.

He's like the guy.

People stand outside his house and yell at him. In New York, crazy Trump people. I mean, nowhere he lives. So they stand outside his house and yell at him. You Bobby. Good for everyone Bobby. You boozer. That's the crazy thing about living in New York. Somebody just walk right up to your door. If you have one of those walk ups, knock, knock, knock. It's the sidewalk is in front of your house. That's what De Niro lives. Let's go. Knock. Didn't some crazy person break into his house recently?

An ex wife, like a lady?

Oh, I think like some crazy lady stalker broke into his house and he wasn't there.

Lady stalkers can really get far because no one thinks that they're. I don't want to talk about one too much, but there's one in my life who can just.

Serial burglar accused of breaking into Robert De Niro's New York City townhouse. Went on new crime spree after release on bail.

Did they know it was Robert 20, 23?

Yeah. Who is this person?

How do they know he lived?

Serial burglar Shanice Aviles was allegedly caught red handed trying to steal Oscar winning actors Christmas presents. Whoa. She's the Grinch. She was released from Rikers on May 3. Since then she's been charged at least two more thefts, including one in which she allegedly snuck into a Columbia University building and slugged a security guard. She's a village.

I love like a Christmas present marauder.

Well, she was charged with stealing 416 worth of merchandise from a TJ Maxx on 6th Avenue.

You can get a lot for that. Amount? Yeah, the TJ Maxx, that's like most of the store.

She was busted again. Let me see her face. See if I can see Craig. Yep. Crazy. Look at her eyebrows.

Are those shaved? Look at her face.

Oh, yeah, you got me. Whatever, Whatever. Poor Robert.

I mean, like, what? Like, if you're stealing Robert De Niro's presence, like, what's she gonna do with an aura ring?

Security guard patrolling the building around 6:30pm Spotted tools sitting near an open window that should have been locked shut. Then found Avila's inside the building. She used tools, filling up her bag with various items, according to a criminal complaint. Yeah, she used tools broken in the house, Bro. Get a dog. Get a Belgian Malibu, dude. Get a meat missile.

People not having dogs, like, what are you doing? I don't know how to convince people. I mean, yeah, I never have problems like that. I leave all my doors unlocked.

Well, I wouldn't do that.

I'm like, I wish a motherfucker would.

Whoa.

I mean, I have large dogs.

Yeah. But still, yeah, shoot your dogs pretty easy.

And then, so your new dog was Marshall, like, instantly, like, loved him.

Of course, they're best friends for the new dogs. Also, like a little anti wolf. They've taken wolves and turned them into these cute, cuddly lily things you can carry around with you.

When I look at that, that to me is like, I feel like humans were kind of like, this is never going to change. But things do change fast sometimes. Like, you know, like smoking. I remember when I first moved to la, people were smoking inside. And then I remember people going outside to smoke. Like it just in our lifetime, we like watched like a huge change.

Like they banned smoking in bars.

Yeah, Huge cataclysmic changes, like, can happen.

You know, but that's just because the people that were working in the bars were getting fucking cancer. So if the thing is, like, I want to be able to smoke in a bar, that's great. But what about the poor waitress?

That's right. The second answer, right?

This lady who just wants to make a living and doesn't even smoke. Now she has lung cancer. That's crazy. So that, that is a. That's a liability for the organization, for the city.

Totally.

It's bad for everybody.

Yeah. Pregnant women can't come drink at the bar.

Right. Go outside and you can't prank if you're pregnant.

I know.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. What now you don't. Damn it, Joe.

But also, you can get hip, be shot.

I'm obsessed with the Things that are so dangerous that used to just be places. Like in shoe stores. They used to have little X ray machines in shoe stores. Yep. And people started getting foot cancer that worked there. Cause all day they just put their foot in the X ray machine.

What?

Cause that's how they used to. I remember. Cause there was a shoe store where my mom. Mom lived. And it had like an old antique one. Like an old antique one. Antique one with a little X ray machine.

That's crazy.

And if you're working there and you're bored and you're just sticking your foot in it all day, that's nuts.

I never knew that that's how they.

Would take your foot size.

Isn't it nuts how like new technology, they have no idea it's killing people.

No clue.

Do you know about the Radium Girls?

Love it already.

This is a horrible story. Story. So when you have a watch, like, you know, like a Rolex, and it's at night, you could see its loom. So during the daytime it charges up at the light. And at night you can see the indicators. They light up. They glow in the dark. The reason they glow in the dark is because they're radioactive.

Yeah.

So they paint. Not now, I don't think, but they paint them. And so these girls were touching the tips of this paintbrush when they were painting. Loom on these dials and they were all getting horrific cancer where they were getting whole holes in their face. See if you can find some of the images.

Oh, bummer.

Well, there's some images of iridium sickness.

Are these just your porn searches, Jamie?

We're looking for the Uranium girls.

Bummer.

Radium Girls is like. I think there's a documentary. Yeah, there. No, there's a movie from 2020. Yeah. Because that's Joey the Dark Story of America's Shining women. Oh.

Well, it's, it's like all kinds of stuff like this. Like Christopher Reeve's wife got lung cancer from his machine.

Oh, God.

I know.

Really?

That kind of stuff kills me.

I, I, oh my God.

I always think about nail girls. The girls that are in there doing acrylic nails. Like you're just inhaling this all day.

I know. And they wear like a mask, like a surgeon's mask.

Like that's just so they can talk about us.

But, but that surgeon's mask is not going to help you from the fumes.

Yeah.

People that work around toxic chemicals. I was reading this thing about women that clean that. Women that work with cleaning solvents all day, they get lung Cancer. And it's like they're smoking three packs a day.

Totally. Like my. The woman that's been with me, she's like my family who helps me maintain my house. It's all. We make it. It's all clean, you know, like, not ammonia, organic stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's like vinegar and.

Well, you should just have that in your house.

Tea tree and stuff.

Not if it's not you cleaning. You don't want that shit in your fucking house, period.

Yeah, but then, like, as women, then we, like, spray our hair and put a bunch of makeup on, you know?

Yeah.

We're all high at all times, just chock full of chemicals. Like, it's so wild. You think about the amount of endocrine disruptors we put on.

On a daily basis, but pumping botulism into your face to keep it from moving.

You know what? I don't do it anymore.

Ah, Congratulations on your eyebrows. Your forehead moves. Your eyebrows have been free.

It really is. My hairline went bad.

You said you've been doing the red light. Red light is the key. Yep. Like, red light. It brings collagen to your skin. It gives your skin a more youthful appearance. It, like, helps your entire body heal better. It helps your mitochondria. But we were talking about this before the podcast for both of us. It's improved our vision.

That's right.

It really has. Like, my vision was on a downward, like, very steady. Like, I have these things here, these reading glasses. I don't use those at all anymore. I can completely read my phone now with no reading glasses. And before it was a blurry mess.

Also, by the way, everyone I know with kids, like, they're. And I'll be exaggerating a little bit, but their kids are getting glasses so young and having eye stuff so young.

They'Re staring at screens all the time. You know, one of the things that you're supposed to do is if you're staring at something, like, really close to your face, I. All the time, you should take breaks and look at things that are far away, because otherwise, I guess your cornea reshapes and. And, like, your eyes literally become more accustomed to trying to look at things closer. It just your eyes up.

Right, Right.

And then this. The light from the screen.

That crazy. I know. I try to do the blue light glasses as, like, much as I can. The amount of glasses and lights I have, like, in my house right now looks like a chemistry studio. But yes, I got. So I do red light on my skin. And because I was like, you Know, look, the Botox thing is, like, TV executive. Ages ago, when I was truly, like, in my 20s, the way they sell you on Botox is they say it's preventative, and you go, oh, yeah, okay, in your 20s. I was like, 27. I was like, do make a TV show. A couple TV shows. And they were like, well, she looks tired. I'm like, yeah, because I'm tired because you keep sending me notes at 2 in the morning to take out all the good jokes. Like, of course I'm tired. And so. So they say to do it so that you don't get wrinkles later. And then you're like, okay, well, now I'm 35. Why am I still getting it? Shouldn't I enjoy the prevention now? It just sort of becomes a do this forever. And I was like, I don't even know who I'm doing this for at this point.

I just was like, I guess especially.

If you just want to be a comic and you don't want to be cast in TV roles anymore.

Even in TV roles, you can't act if you. You don't have expression on your face. That's the whole thing. You know, We've all seen actors where we're like, I. You just see one teardrop go down.

Yo, I'm right here.

Yeah, yeah. You know, Broox, the rise of Broox is weird.

I shouldn't, but I do. I judge men very badly when I think. Think they have Botox. When I see a man's face doesn't move, I'm like, I am not listening to anything coming out of your mouth.

Especially when it's hot on a guy. Why not enjoy the benefit of age looking good on a man?

Yeah, because a certain amount of age, they're like, oh, my God, I'm so old. When you get to, like, that Stallone age, like, he was at the White House receiving some fucking award. You know, there's a bunch of guys that went to the White House and got awards. Did you ever see that?

Sorry. Awards are so silly. Yeah.

They stand there and they put it around your neck. You're like, yep, I deserve this. But there's Stallone and there. And it looks so crazy, like he used to be my canary in a coal mine. Because I'm like, wow, you could be 70, be jacked.

Yeah. Yeah.

This is awesome, you know, because, like, he kept it together for a long time. Like, he was in great shape for a long time, but now he looks. Looks like he's just doing a bunch of stuff. I think look at him there. That's crazy. First of all, that hairline is crazy.

This whole lineup of people is batshit. Can you print this out so I can just put it in my bathroom to just Cappuccino.

Who's the guy in the.

We should know the answer. Is that Jean Simmons?

Yeah.

The woman.

Oh, no. Jean Simmons is there.

Is this the trans.

The trans salone. 70, 79 years old.

Let me see. Well, that was his wife.

Yeah, but it's just like. So who's there? Paul Stanley and Jean Simmons.

What was.

And Stallone and who's the guy in the back?

Are these the Benjamin Buttons Awards? Like, what is the actual award?

Who's the guy in the far right? It doesn't say. Michael Crawford, whoever that is. I'm sure he's been in a bunch of stuff. I enjoyed his name.

Like entertainers.

Yeah. Okay, so they all got a big award, but it's just the way Stallone looked. It was like, God, what are you doing?

It looks like a facelift.

Is it Trump Kennedy Center?

Oh, oh, yeah, sure.

So he. He was acknowledging his 80s heroes with awards. I used to like you in the 80s.

But by the way, just ask them to go to dinner. Like, how insecure that you have to like, give an award. Like there was. What was it? Was it Cosby that Harvard, like, gave him a fake award just to see if he would show up and he showed up.

Oh, really?

Like how narcissists will just show up to accept, like, greatest comedy person of ever. And he like, showed up and accepted it and they didn't. And they had to like, get him from the airport court. They were like, this was like a joke.

Really?

Yeah. Are you sure, Jamie?

I don't know anything about that.

Go to Blue sky award. They like the Hasty Pudding or whatever Harvard's comedy troop is.

Oh, they did it.

Did like a prank where they'll give celebrities awards just to see if they show up. Yeah, and Cosby showed up.

That's actually funny. Conan and his friend. Okay, Conan o' Brien convince Cosby that is awarded fake. The Harvard Lampoons lifetime achievement in comedy to be presented at Harvard. Bill Cosby actually flew all the way in a private plane to be picked up by Conan in his parents station wagon. A modified bowling trophy was given as an award. Oh, boy.

Looks like from the 80s.

Like, he showed up to get it.

That's hilarious.

Imagine.

That is hilarious.

Imagine.

So that was Conan when he was in Harvard.

Yeah.

Oh, that's so funny. So many fun writers came out of.

Harvard out of Harvard. Yeah.

Lampoon.

Yeah.

Kind of crazy.

It's kind of crazy. I mean, it's interesting because they've, they've, you know, Nazis like talk about TV Dorkery. But I know a lot of them were friends with a lot of them, but like there was a little bit of like a elitism. I think it's part of what made TV start becoming kind of irrelevant is these sort of like elite writers from Harvard who don't necessarily have a. You know, I think that the best comedy, everyone can see themselves in it or it's about something that we can all kind of relate to on some level. That's all these sort of kids going to a, A, you know, seventy thousand dollar a year elite school making shows like the Office and show, you know, these comedies that you know, you know, look like it's, it's a lot of my friends worked on the Office. I love you guys. Soon get me in trouble. But it is kind of like making fun of poor people. It's like, would it be funny if people like worked at a paper mill and like went to Chili's? Like, what a bunch of losers. My family members like, go to Jilly's.

That is real photo. That's Conan right there. It was 19 when this happened.

Like they had to like scramble to pick him up.

That's actually amazing.

On a podcast.

That's actually amazing that he did that. That's actually amazing.

Like, that is. I love the little things where when you find out someone was a sociopathic monster that you're like, we should have known. Even though it had nothing to do with drugging women, like the fact that he showed up to receive this award.

Like, well, actually the Harvard Lampoon is like famous comedy thing, so it would make sense that they would give him an award.

That's true, that's true.

And before he was a monster, he was. I mean like, you look at that image there. That's a black and white image. So Conan was 19. Conan's got to be in his late 50s, right? How old is Conan now?

Yes. This is an 85.

Okay, so he was very respected back then. Yeah, like Bill Cosby was the man.

Bill, look, that show, I mean, when I tell you like my top five shows, it's Cosby. You know, Martin Married with Children was really big.

Can you even get Cosby anymore? Have they hid that?

Maybe not even. Cuz no one thought it was weird that he was a gynecologist that worked out of his basement.

Like, how about that one episode where he had his secret barbecue sauce that made everybody horny.

That's right.

No, but.

But. No, Remember?

Oh, fuck you. Who greenlit that? You're gonna drug people. People.

Cliff Huxtable would walk up the stairs from his basement, take off plastic gloves.

Oh. Because he was just touching.

That would have just been inside a woman.

Oh, my God. Presumably he would just be like, yeah.

Like whatever he was doing. And then be like, anyway, so what's for dinner? And you're like, wait, hold on.

That's nuts. I didn't know that.

I never watched that gynecologist. And he'd work.

I didn't even know he was a gynecologist out of his house. Oh, my God.

He would deliver babies.

But crazy. Yeah.

I always thought that was wild.

So crazy.

He'd take the plastic gloves off at the top of the stairs. Like.

I was dating a girl once back in the day, and she told me that her gynecologist hit on her. And she said she was so creeped out, her gynecologist called her up at home and asked her out on a date. And she was like, what? Because he got a chance to take a look at that thing. That thing looked pretty good.

I mean, that's so crazy.

Your gynecologist just asks you on a day and you're at home and this is back, by the way. Like, when? I don't. I guess they had caller ID in the 80s, so this would be after they had caller ID. Like, you probably think the doctor's calling you up. Cuz, like, by the way, didn't we.

Just go on one?

Just figured me.

Yeah.

What was that?

Hold on. What's your definition of a date? That's what.

That we were a thing.

We're together, you see my.

And my. You said, nice, I've been in the.

Stirrups, you fingered me and have all my money. Like, Jesus Christ. That is. I mean, it is interesting that today for a guy to become a gynecologist. I know. It's like the only way. You know, only men could be back in the day. But now for a guy to be like, I'm in med school to be a gynecologist.

Yeah. Everybody's like, what? Right? Like, if I was a woman, I would never go to a male gynecologist.

Oh, good.

That's crazy. Just the. If he's heterosexual, he's staring at your cooter and thinking about sliding up in there.

Or the opposite. Or if he, like, doesn't care, you're like, why are you not Looking, you know, excited. Yeah. Why'd you put gloves on?

Look at that thing. Yeah, look at it shine. I put glitter on it just for you.

Do you remember that?

No.

Butt. Butt.

Glitter. Butt glitter. For real.

No. Remember butt crystal? Remember? Okay. There were be dazzling pussy bedazzlings.

No way.

Yes. This was a thing.

Did that give you cancer, too, like baby powder does?

That's a thing. Definitely something. But, yeah, it was. There was. I'm just always fascinated by, like, conflating, like, feminism with just, like, just. What are we doing? Bedazzling our pussies. Like, we're not, like, free the nipple. Like, we're.

Joe isn't off on something.

Okay. Okay. Is this William on glitter butts, the.

Hot new trend for summer? Glitter butt. That's so ridiculous. Like, don't look at my butt. But look, it's glittery. That's hilarious.

There's also the butt plug thing.

No, there was.

So where are these people wearing these glitter pants? I mean, it's not even pants. That was another thing that hoes would do back in the day. Remember? They would just paint their tits. And you can kind of go out in public with pain on your tits, like on New Year's Eve and stuff like that.

Yeah.

And people go, oh, you're topless. No, get pee.

And then it was like, why are you looking? It's like, okay.

What? Okay. These girls have glitter all over their pants, by the way. How toxic is that?

Hold on. Go. That's just. Hold on.

So we talked about the wizard of Oz and that poor dude who had to play the tin Man. That guy got up by that paint.

So did the. The woman. That was the witch. She got her face cut. Caught on fire.

Oh. Oh, caught on fire.

Yeah. Which, by the way, now we pay dermatologists to set our faces on fire. But back then, it was. That was accidental. It was a layer.

Skin off.

Yeah. She.

Well, look young again. Gotta get to that. Young.

Was it. What was it asbestos or what?

Well, she had green paint on her face all day long, but Right.

In Tin man, it was.

He had, like. It was aluminum.

Aluminum, that's correct.

Yes.

Which we put in deodorant. Fine.

Not the. Not the kind I use. Dr. Squatch. It's natural. Yeah, works too. That lasts all day long. Dr. Squatches.

Also, if I stink that.

Oh, no, you don't want to smell. Smell me.

Oh, really?

No, no, no. I mean, when I don't have. When I don't have deodorant on and I, like, work out and Hang out all day and I'll smell myself and get disgusted, but, like, smell myself and gag.

I'll do, like, wipes. I'll just wipe it, you know?

You don't want to smell.

That's good.

You don't want to get in there.

But we're not. Is it? I don't. I just. This whole thing where we all have to smell like a moonlit path.

Yeah, but you don't want to smell like a monkey in the zoo. That's what I smell.

I mean, I don't know. It's kind of a power move, I guess. You know how, like, they say, like.

Ronnie Danger, sex with your wife, she's plugging.

Oh, yeah.

No.

You know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry to your wife. I love her too much to encourage this.

Like, it's like, deal with my breath. What? Brush your fucking teeth. Are you crazy?

But isn't there something about, like, smelly. If someone smells bad like your wife, your BO probably smells good to her. Huberman actually talked about this when he was on my podcast back in the day about, like, if someone doesn't smell good to you, it means you're probably related.

I think you need to talk to her. She would probably correct you.

Yeah, I can.

I fucking smell gross. I eat mostly meat.

Because you're ketosis. Yeah, that's different.

Rotten meat coming out of my pores and pneumonia from sweat.

But if someone's like, morning breath smells bad to you and they just, you.

Know, like, everybody's morning breath smells bad.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. But if you gotta be really horny to make out with someone in the morning, like, full on, make like you got it. That's like. That's ultimate. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What your breast smells like. Come here. That's like, crazy.

Crazy. Just. Yeah. Flip me over like an adult.

Yeah, don't. It's like, if you don't care. Care about yeast infections. Who cares about that smell? Let's go. Let's go.

There is something sick about. Once you birth a child, you're so tapped into this, like, feral, like, it's just so wild that I don't even think about morning breath anymore.

It's.

You're just like.

Well, you're cleaning diapers all the time. It's like when I was on Fear Factor, I didn't even flinch if someone threw open front of me. I'd seen so many people throw up. Like, one time. One time, my wife threw up in her car and this is how, like, I am immune to throw up.

Some people puke if they see.

Because of all my years on Fear Factor, I'm completely immune. When I was a kid, if you threw up in the hallway in high school, I'd be like, which.

Like, there's a biological basis for that. We probably ate the same thing right in the tribe.

Exactly. That got wiped out of me on fear factor 100%. She was coming home from the. The gym and she drank wheatgrass juice and she threw up in her center console.

Yep, I'm done.

And she was crying. She was like, okay, but now I can't even clean it. So disgusting. I'll clean it. Like, I don't give a. I cleaned the whole thing. I got in there with towels. I cleaned her puke out. It didn't even make me flinch. I'd seen so many people puke. I've seen people puke for days and days. And, I mean, I did 148 episodes, so I. At least 130 of those times, people had to eat something that made them throw up. So I saw multiple people. There's six contestants. I saw so many people gag. And I had to be interviewing them, like, while they were gagging, sometimes while they were throwing up in a dumpster, I'd be talking to them.

That was such a big deal, that show.

That was so ridiculous.

That was such a big, big deal.

You know, I took that show because I thought it was gonna be canceled. I thought, like, I'm gonna get some jokes out of this. They're gonna stick dogs on people.

But you underestimated our deep desire for schadenfreude, like, watching other people be scared and humiliated. The Coliseum, basically.

Well, it was also. I underestimated the entertainment value of the competition. Cause it was competition. That was. The grossness was great. It, you know, it was definitely fun to watch, watch and. But there was also, like, real, like, significant competition. Yeah, there were some great moments. This is one moment with his mother and her. Her daughter beat this father and his son, and the father and the son were. They were just. The dad was like a dick. Like, yeah, this is how you get ahead in this world. You be a dick. And they were talking crazy to the. And then the kid fumbled and things up. And the dad. Things up, up. And the whole crew was crying. Everybody was so happy.

Yeah, I'm.

I cried.

I'm fascinated. I just sent Andrew Schulz a clip that I'll cry if I talk about because he was posting something about, like, a daughter Asking his. Her a gymnast who. The daughter was getting attached and wouldn't let her go to the routine, so she did it with her daughter. And there's this.

Who.

There's this video of this girl. I think it's in Brazil. She's doing a cooking competition. And, you know, those, like, you know, timed cooking competitions, and she can't open a jar, and her dad is in the audience, and she runs and gives it to her dad, and her dad just opens it, and it's like. Gives me goosebumps every time, but dad's man. But that. That just kills me. That. Oh, God, this kills me.

This is how she runs.

She can't get it open.

Why do they make jars so hard to open, by the way, if your hands.

That's her dad. Look at her dad. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, no. So this is costing all this time. And he's freaking out. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Ah. Oh, God. Oh, God.

That's cool that you can do that, though.

Yeah.

Because it's ridiculous that you can't, like, opening a jar.

Well, you got to hit it on the side of a thing.

Yeah.

Or, like, if you just clank it on something. But it's like. I think he posted something about, you know, when, like, runners don't finish the race and the dad comes out and, like, helps him cross the finish line or something. Oh, gosh. I love, like that so much, but I can't remember where we were on this. Now I'm just gonna sob.

Competition. Fear Factor. Disgusting. Yeah. It turned out to be fun.

That's what it is. I think I'm fascinated by. And I'm, like, a football dork. I know you're not, like, the biggest football fan, even though you don't watch a lot. You can go to some games.

Yeah, I like it. Now I get it. I watched the Texas A&M versus the UT game.

Holy shit. Incredible. Incredible. And I think that what you're going for is it's almost like this gambling addiction in a way, because it's like, even when your team loses, you're all losing together, and it's. You know, you get to feel like you're a part of something. There's so much, like, you know, reptilian sort of hardwiring at play. But for me, it's, like, about these goosebumps moments that you can't have everybody every game. That would take the value out of him. Like, this past season, when have you been. I don't know if you're a football guy, Jamie, but Philip Rivers Coming back to the Colts and him coming out of retirement. Two major players came out of retirement this year that were like coaching. They were done coaching their kids Little League in high school. Philip Rivers was just coaching, you know, what a 45, 44, 45 years old.

There's a fun caveat with that, too. But tell me, he's got so many kids.

10, right?

Yeah.

He was about to hit retirement. Retirement his five years, you have to wait to go to the hall of Fame. But now he just, like, re upped his NFL like health insurance. So that gets coverage for. I mean, he's rich as he doesn't really need it, but just a little caveat of, like, he gets coverage for life.

Here's what I realized, and I realized this at the UT game. When you're a fan of football, you get big moments. Many times if you're a fan of a fight, you get the fight and then one guy wins and one guy gets horribly destroyed. Sometimes, like, sometimes your guy gets flatlined and you're watching your guy laid out with his toes curled, his legs stiff, his arms up in the air. He's completely unconscious. And the other guy is on the cage like this, and then the medical people are taking care of your guy, and you're like, oh, fuck. Yeah. It's the worst. Worst. When you see, like, families and children see their dad get knocked out.

No, no, no, no.

So hard. No, that's so hard. When you see wives crying and then the camera turns to them, you see them there like, oh, no. It's just football's a different thing. You know, when someone throws the ball and then the person catches and goes across the line and you see a hundred thousand people.

That's right.

That's it.

That's it. That's it. And so much is the type of fan fan base, you know, but like.

But the people in the audience feel better.

That's right.

It's like they are. They're celebrating in a different way. Because when a fighter wins, it's an individual, but when a team wins, it's your team.

That's right. That's right.

It's different.

And you can make the argument on some level that, you know, you know, not your part of it, but like the energy you bring. Like, when I went to the Rams game, I'm Eagles fan and Rams game, all green. All Eagles fans coming for away games. Like, you know, it's. Imagine being like the Eagles and looking out at, like, all green in another, you know, city. Also, is it Matt Prady? I think Is his last name is a kicker for. Was it the Bills? Both of the kickers got injured and like they didn't have a kicker and they're like, imagine getting the call. You're coaching like your middle, middle school sons, whatever little league football, and you get the call like, we need you. You know, really, it's like, yeah, he goes in and he kicks like the winning field goal. This was in September. I want to. To say I love like that so much.

That's awesome.

You know, when you also just moments like what Saquon Barkley did last year, like jumping backwards over. Like there's a video of his teammates watching him do it, going like. It's just. I love watching the interplay between the team members too. It's like comics. It's like, you know, I get it.

I didn't like it before, but I get it way more now. I get it way more because for me, it's like a watered down version. I'm like, why don't they just fight? But now I get it. It's not that you're as an audience member. It's better because you're like a part of the game. Like we are scoring. It's really. It's a stupid thing to say. We. You never say we won that fight.

That's right. That's right. Also. But I think the we of it also happens to, you know, the reason I think as live performers, when you see a team like the Eagles do so, so well and then this last time they played the Rams just fall apart, you're like, what Just per what we were talking about with Fear Factor and what you're capable of when you're on tv, when you've been insulted, when your ego's been. When you're in front of your kid. I'm not gonna eat a live rat, but if my kid is watching and someone just insulted my kid, it's. I'm a different person. You know what I'm saying? I will fucking fuck this rat in the ass. You know, whatever I need to do or if money's involved. I'm obsessed with sort of like the, you know, the most dangerous team to me is always the one that hasn't won any games.

That's the most dangerous fighter is the one that needs money.

That's right. That's right. And I'm just fascinated. Didn't Floyd Mayweather used to practice by doing like live Facebook Facebook lives with like girls around to try to.

Did it really?

Yeah.

Huh.

I think we do like Facebook lives.

Well, he definitely did that to show off too. He was so good. Yeah, he was so good. But he, he would do crazy things. Like they would have rounds that would go on for 10 minutes. He would, you know, he would have like, what would he call it, like the Dog Pound. He like a name for it. We'd bring a bunch of guys in there and they would just box and they wouldn't have any rounds, they would just box. So, like, you know, it's sink or swim. You got no rounds. Yeah, you're just in there, but no one's gonna tell you to stop. Wow, this is crazy. It's crazy. But he also, he also was a master at boxing people and talking to them. So it was. I'm sorry about my voice, but it was a part of like, the whole thing of it was that you were watching all this chaos and then you're dealing with the psychological aspect of each guy talking to each other.

And it's also like, that's it.

The Doghouse refers to his Jim's notoriously grueling sparring sessions known for intense, no rules fighting until someone quits. Designed to push boxers to their absolute limits. I mean, it's not a mystery why he's one of the absolute, absolute greatest someone wits. Yeah. By the way, this guy's had multiple hand surgeries. So he couldn't really even like blast on guys like he used to when he was younger. You know, when he was younger, they called him Pretty Boy Floyd. And so in the early days of his career, he was a knockout artist. He was fucking people up. But he doesn't have big hands and so he was breaking his hands like multiple times. And so then he became Money Mayweather and just started boxing everybody's faces. And like, if you go back and watch some of his early knockouts also, he wasn't certainly facing the caliber of fighters he faced as a champion, but he's the best ever at not getting hit. That guy's been cracked maybe like three or four times in his entire professional career, which is wild.

And is his ability to not get hit, is that from outworking everyone or something genetic? Is there some gift?

It's a whole bunch of things that came to together. So one of them, his dad. Jesus Christ. His dad was Floyd Mayweather Senior. Okay. His dad fought Sugar Ray Leonard and gave him a hell of a fight. His uncle was Roger Mayweather. Roger Mayweather, multiple time world champion, the Black Mamba. So he grew up in a gym with Jeff Mayweather and these guys were all killers and they were Boxing scientists, they knew everything about box boxing. It's a famous quote that people always use. Roger Mayweather, see if you can find it where he's like, most people don't know about boxing. And everybody who knows anything about boxing. And by the way, I'm not a boxing expert. I'm like a fan compared to the regular person. I know more than most people.

Hey, Rhonda, he's a fan.

Most people don't know about boxing. But see, if you get him, say it. Because it's just. It's the way he says it. Motherfuckers don't know shit about boxing. And it's 100 accurate. It's 100 accurate.

Is boxing like, you're not to like, compliment. Like, what we do in any. This might sound insulting to athletes, but, like, is it similar in a way to comedy in that there's certain things, like you can't really teach. Like, you have to find your thing.

Well, there's certainly like genetic advantages that are huge. They're almost insurmountable. There's some people that have like, speed. Like Roy Jones Jr. Was the best example of that. He had speed that was otherworldly. Like no one had seen anything like that before. And he had a style that no one else had. Roy Jones. So the most important punch in boxing, if you ask any boxing trainer, they'll say the jab. The jab is what establishes distance. The jab is what you could score with. The right hand's to try to knock him out. Left folks try to. To knock him out. Uppercut. But the jab is the most important punch in boxing. Roy Jones rarely threw jabs. He would throw left hooks. His left hook was so fast that he would throw a leaping left hook and it would hit you as fast or faster than another person's jab. And you had to calibrate for that. When you're fighting him, like, all of a sudden there's a guy who can do things that are literally superhuman. Like, no one can move like him. He has a left bicep that's like twice the size of his right bicep.

Bicep from throwing left hooks.

And is this like, like how Michael Phelps has abnormally long arms or something? Right?

No, he developed that left bicep. That's why his right bicep is small. His right bicep is normal sized. His left bicep is fucking huge. So look at the photo.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, bro.

Let me tell you something. Roy Jones in his prime was a freak of nature.

And do you try to go like, okay, you know, I'm just going to.

Look at his build. Look at that left hook.

Insane dude.

No, he was a freak. And also extremely intelligent. Crafty. Set you up, knew what to do to get you to move this way, then you're moving that way. And then he's doing things you can't do. So you don't anticipate that someone's gonna be able to leap in from there and catch you with an uppercut. You're like, you don't even understand how it happened. He's the only guy in the history of, I believe, CompuBox. It might still be the. The case. And it was in this fight, the. The Vinnie Pazienza fight work. Look at that. Put his hands behind his back and knock the guy out. One of the only fights in the history of the sport where the opponent landed zero punches. That's the stoppage of Vinnie Pazienza. He was a freak.

Wait, how did. How did that even happen?

He hit him with the left hook to the body. He was so fast. He would hit. Yeah, he was so good. All of his fights were essentially executions. He went from 168. He won the world title at 160, 68, went up to light heavyweight, won the world title, light heavyweight, went up to heavyweight, won the world title at heavyweight. He was a fucking middleweight in the Olympics.

That looks like. Remember the video of Putin doing, like, kung fu or taekwondo and they're pretending to fall? That's what this looks like.

No, Roy was so.

This is nuts.

He was so fast and he was so hard to hit.

Oh, yeah, Exactly.

There's a 1, 2. He hits this guy with that. I sent a friend of mine who's a boxing fan the other. Other day. I'm like, look at the speed of this 1, 2. He. He hit this guy with a. A counter right hand. Like a counter one, two, right hand. It was. It was freakish. Like, it didn't even make sense. There's the left hook, that left foot. Look at that. That left hook, that left hooks great. Look at him. Like, what the fuck?

He just went down.

Watch that left hook again. He's trying to get up and he's face planting. And that's Monte Griffin, who was a world champion. Look at that left hook. Good Lord.

He even was like, good Lord, Lort.

Yeah, there was. You know, there's guys that are amazing, and then there's Roy Jones. Roy Jones was. He was a freak. I mean, it was like nothing.

That was unbelievable. Oh, my gosh.

It Was all his fights. Look at that right hand of the body. Virgil Hill drop. He knocked him out with a right hand to the. By the way to the left side of his body. But that's not even where your liver is. Your liver's over here. Guys get dropped all the time with a left hook to the body. He hit him with a right hook to the body and stopped him.

I always get obsessed with like, as. Like, as comedians. Comedians. The more comedy there is and has been, the more original we have to be. You know, I'm always fascinated by like, you know, you know, fighting or sports. Like, you know, a football, for example, like, you know, go Birds, the Eagles doing the tush push. It's like everyone had to start studying that. And this thing that worked, now everyone knows you do it. So, you know, it's fascinating to me when a fighter's so good at one thing, everyone starts learning to defend that. And then, you know, because it used to be like you could just fight and people saw the fight once and that was it.

But, like, that's where Roy had the advantage over everyone else. There was no Internet back when Roy was on top. So the thing about the Internet now is any kid with, you know, limited resources can study all the greatest boxers of all time. So Mike Tyson, when he was young, one of the great advantages that he had was Jim Jacobs was his manager. And Jim Jacobs was a legitimate boxing historian who. He carried these tapes and old films of everyone. Jack Johnson, Harry Griffith, Greb. He was watching Sandy Sadler, all these Willie Pep, all these, like, Rocky Marciano, Jack Johnson, all the great champions of history on film. So he'd study film footage all day. He would put these 32 millimeter or whatever it was a 32 millimeter. 16. What are those things back then? 16. So the real to reel. So you'd have to feed the tape into the thing.

Right, right, right.

And he would sit there and watch everybody fight. So we had this massive advantage. Advantage of seeing all these incredible fighters. Like, he, He. He mirrored his style a lot around a bunch of different ones. But one of them particular was Jack Dempsey, who was like one of the most. I mean, I think Dempsey was the champion. And I want to. I'm trying to figure out what year this was where Jack Dempsey was the heavyweight champion. He was like, it was a savage time. I think he was a hobo at one time in his life. Like, it's a savage time.

It's.

He was a savage man, and he was annihilating people, and he wasn't Very big either. From 1919 to 1926. What did he weigh? What did Jack Dempsey weigh when he was fighting? Okay, I'm gonna guess £180. 187. 187. He was the heavyweight champion of the world. He weighed 187 pounds. That's nuts. That's 13 pounds less than me. He was the heavyweight champion of the world.

This is.

That is. That's fucking bananas. And another one that's even crazier is Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano, who was the heavyweight champion in the 50s, I believe, when one of the only heavyweight champions to ever retire undefeated. He was 5, 10, and he weighed, I think, 185 pounds. And he killed everybody. He killed people. He hit them so hard that they would just go dead. He would just shut them off and they would like collapse. He was a murderous puncher. And he was a small guy, £184 when he won the title from Jersey Joe Walcott. Now, why Google or look up that fight?

He was shorter and had shorter.

Look up that fight where the KO of Jersey Jones, Joe Walker. You just have to see the punch he hits him with.

And this is before Peptides. And.

Oh, yeah, this is just. He was eating spaghetti. This is. This is a. Like a crazy Italian from Brockton, Massachusetts. But just see if you could find the ko, because the KO is. Is not. By the way, Jersey Joe Walcott is one of the all time greats. I mean, he was a phenomenal boxer. This was a little later in his time, you know, but he had had a long career. So he knocks him down with that right hand. But watch the. Though after this.

This is a second fight.

Yeah, they must have fought twice. So find the second. The other one.

Whoa.

This is. Yeah, this is the one. Okay, watch. Watch how he KO's him. He hits him with that right now. He had the craziest work ethic of maybe any heavyweight of all time. He would work out. He would run 10 miles in the morning. He would work out all day long. Sometimes he would spar 100 rounds for a fight each week. He was sparring constantly. And then he would swim after training five miles in a lake. His cardio was just off the charts. And it was because he got tired once in a fight when he was an amateur.

I'll do it.

And he said, I'll never get tired again. And so he just decided to outwork everybody. But you got to see the ko, like, see if he could zoom in. I mean, it was a brutal fight. I mean, Jersey Joe Walk. Give as much as he got, but here it is right there. Oh, watch that again. Back that up again. Watch this right hand mic drop. Boom.

Mic drop.

The power in that. It's his, every ounce of his body. Watch how in slow motion, he creeps in. Look at the explosion and the extension of his back leg. See that extension, the back leg, the turn of the shoulder. The back gets into it.

Look at his back. Oh, holy.

Just boom.

That's over.

I mean, and he's done. And again, Jersey Joe Walkout was a legend. And then he hits him with the left hook on the way down. He was totally down. Oh, he's dead.

Gone.

It's crazy how powerful that guy was.

Before all the things. Cold plunge, all of it.

No steroids, no nothing.

Anger and having been molested.

And eggs and an immigrant from Italy.

I was thinking about this the other day because I was in England, my brother lives there, and I was like.

I believe his family is from Italy. I think he was a child of immigrants.

I'm obsessed with Italian immigrants because, like, you go to Italy all the time. You're. Imagine, like, the people that were like, nah, like the. How beautiful it. Like, we pay to go. We pay to go to Italy to see that view for three days. And they're like, ah, no, thanks. I'd rather maybe get leprosy on a boat in the. For 10 weeks.

Well, I don't know if it was like, in the 1920s when my grandparents came over here, but it wasn't good.

Yeah, nobody there was.

A lot of them came over from Ireland, from Italy.

Yeah. Bad news.

And they came over before YouTube. They just. Someone drew them a picture. This is what it's like over there. You're gonna get a job.

Imagine, like, when I look at what goes on the comment section in America, so torn apart, I'm like, this wasn't ever gonna go any other way. Like, imagine I'm obsessed with just the ocean. Like, just imagine looking at the ocean in a boat and being like, all right, I'll get on that.

Right, with your kid.

Only the craziest people, right?

That's why everyone in the east coast is so fucking insane. I always say that. I always say the most violent, crazy people are on the East Coast. Why? Because they. All their grandparents came over on a fucking boat.

All their ancestors had toxoplasmosis or whatever it was. And we're just like, I'd rather. Yeah, I'd rather die and have frostbite and warm my frostbitten fingers in my wife's Carcass. Leprosy carcass. Than not be able to worship who I want or say what I want.

There's a lot of that too. I mean, that's what brought people over here initially. A lot of people came over for religious freedom, which is a crazy thought, but like the Quakers, like, what were those people all about? Wasn't that a big part of why they came over here? Like they were being persecuted, which is.

So weird because we go to England and pay to go in the churches now. I was like waiting in line to go in an England church.

I'm like, what was the deal with the Quakers? Are they like a cult? Like, are they around anymore? Are there any Quakers?

Uncle Ben?

Jamie says yes.

Yeah.

Uncle Ben, is it Quakers? I think so.

They make good rides?

I think so.

It's. I don't know. I've been really into Amish though. There's. I'm in like Amish core algorithm where it's men, like build barns in a day.

Sexy, right?

Dude, it's so hot. My porn is just. Watching men be useful and they'll just build a barn and just like the Amish life. I feel like we're all kind of trying to go like, how do I get chickens? How do I self sustain? How do I like.

Some guys think it's hot when women cook. Same reason, same thing.

It's like sexy because they're gonna eat soon. Yeah.

I mean, well, no, because a woman can cook.

Yeah.

A woman that's like, like really into feeding you. Yeah, that's a good woman. Like a woman who wants to cook for you. She wants to cook for you for a guy that's hot.

This whole thing, thing of like, when I'm not gonna cook for my man, it's like you get to eat too. I mean, like, what are you gonna eat?

Well, you don't have to cook for your man. Like, I wouldn't expect anyone to cook for me. I think that's crazy. I know how to cook. But there's something about somebody wanting to cook.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's wanting to do it. It's not doing it because it's a chore that you're making them do.

Yeah.

It's like if somebody does something nice for you because they want to, it's so much better than if you have to ask them and they don't want to do it, but they can seed to doing it.

Yeah, yeah.

You know?

No, I love that. Also, I want to know what's going in your body.

Well, it used to be a valuable trait for someone to be building something. Like a guy who could go out there and do something with his hands. Oh, that is a man that can provide a shelter. And if the roof breaks, he can fix it. Like this is a good. Also he can do hard shit. He's a guy who's got endurance. He's durable. He's not going to fall apart. Like this job is too hard.

List of jobs that like were more likely to be replaced by AI and less likely and for some reason less likely was roofers, which I thought was interesting.

I don't think they're right. They're going to have robots that can do a lot. Yeah, for sure. They'll have a roofing robot. That's not that difficult.

A roofing robot. Cosby will just start using a roofy robot.

You're going to miss the value of a really fucking hard job. Because there's a value in a really hard job. And I know a lot of kids avoid hard jobs and you shouldn't do a hard job for your whole life. But there's a real value in a hard job. And that. I had a job. Well, I've had a bunch of construction jobs when I was a kid because my stepdad's an architect. So I worked on a lot of construction sites. But I also had a very good friend, Jimmy Lawless. Shout out to Jimmy. And when I was a kid I worked with him. He was a year older than me and he'd already graduated. He was a carpenter's apprentice at the time. I believe he might have actually been a carpenter. Carpenter. And I just needed a job. And I think I was probably 18 or 19 and I got a job working on this construction site. We were building a wheelchair ramp for a Knights of Columbus hall and I had to carry cement and pressure treated lumber all day. That was the job. I had terrible nutrition. I would like eat sub sandwiches and drink a Coca Cola and you're out there in the sun all day long.

You're not hydrated. I was always dehydrated and I was carrying cement and pressure treated lumber all day. Which is a gross lumber that they have to soak in horrible chemicals. Yeah. Pressure treated lumber. Like you would get these splinters and they would get infected. It was nasty. Like you're. You're dealing with whatever the chemical that they treat. That thing.

You're the radioactive shiny.

It's on your skin.

Yeah.

And it's August. So you're sweating. So you're sweating like crazy. This is getting in your. Your Pores. You're carrying bags of cement. You're breathing cement dust all day long. And by two weeks, I quit. And when I did quit, I was, I was. It was. I was like, okay, now I know that if I don't get my together and figure something out in life, that that could be the best paying job that I can get.

Yep.

That whatever. I got that. I mean, it probably wasn't even 20 bucks an hour. I don't remember what you got paid.

And if I get injured, I don't have health insurance and that's just my body.

And I was clearly handling something that was toxic.

Yeah.

All day long. Like, what is in pressure treated lumber? What do they use?

It's supposed to be left outside to stop, like, insects and.

Right. That's what it does. Like, termites can't eat it.

I have a weird question, though.

It's poison.

Is today's version of a poisonous, dangerous job like that sitting at a desk, looking at a computer all day?

Well, it very well could be. Right. And don't they say that, like, LED lights are actually not good for you now?

But just like sitting at a desk that is, you know, you don't have a standing desk. You don't have one of these whatever sibyns or whatever I'm sitting on. And you're like. I mean, people just sending emails all day, like, is definitely bad for your back.

It's tightened my lower back considerably. I think a big part of it is sitting like this all the time. So I'm super conscious about it now, where I do a lot more lower back exercises than I ever used to do before.

You. I got that machine you told me to get where you lift your back.

Reverse hyper.

That's.

That's right. Yeah. Louis Simmons, who was a legend in powerlifting, he invented that because he crushed his disks. And they told him that he had to get his disks fused. And he said, well, if I crushed them, can I separate them? And they're like, no, it can't be done. He's like, I'll figure it out. So he made a. A machine. And you climb on this machine and he realized that in the descending, you're actually decompressing your back.

Yeah.

And in the US Ascending, you're strengthening all the muscles around your back. It's a genius piece of equipment. No, he's one of the rare people that I traveled to do a podcast with.

Oh, cool. Yeah, I got. That's like the main machine I kind of like have.

But it's the. Yeah, he's also got a belt squat that he gave us before he passed. And that. That machine's awesome too. You put a belt around your waist and then the cable goes down in between your legs and you're standing on a platform and there's a stack of. Of weights behind you. So instead of doing squats, which are one of the best exercises of all time. But the problem with squats is if you're squatting heavy, you've got all that weight on your back.

Okay.

It's all your. If you've got like £400, you're squatting. If you're a beast and you're. You've got £400 trying to crush all your disks and the only thing that's keeping that from happening is your strength. All your core muscles. Muscles and your spine muscles. But you're compressing everything with that weight. With a belt. You're not. So yeah. Is on your hips and all the weight is down there. There it is. So that's me using it at his. At his place. And then he. He gave us.

Is this sit down squat machine. No, these ones. No, I do that.

No, no, not at all. No, that's a leg press. That's. That's a very like very good machine.

That's what I do. I just don't want to. My knees are.

Problem with that is. You ever see what happens when people lock their legs out and it bends backwards? Oh yeah.

What do you mean? Don't Jamie back or Jamie, pull that up.

Pull that up.

I'm calling a.

People need to know. You need to know that this can happen. Because I saw it happen to a lady once in one of these videos that looked like she never worked out.

I saw the one with the guy.

Sphincter came out and I saw without us getting in.

I was getting ready to see what.

I'm going to find.

I was in the sphincter algae algorithm. I don't want to get in the knee snap algorithm.

Well, as a person who's had three.

Knee surgeries, I've also got slaughters in my left knee. So I just have to like. And when you squat, are your. Are your knees supposed to go over your toes or not?

I do. Yeah. You 100.

Thank you.

100 can especially. You could build up to it. I do knees over toe stuff.

Yeah.

I had that guy knees over toes.

Yeah.

On the podcast. He's amazing.

I follow him.

Everybody should follow. He's a hundred percent right? Yeah, he's one. I mean I will tell you 100% there's no room for error. That guy's right.

Yeah.

He has an amazing protocol for strengthening all the muscles around your knees.

Yeah.

I followed it is radically changed the progression of the injury and made my leg stronger than it was before the injury.

Yeah. I also do weighted vests kind of all day. It's only like £30 what I do.

Because that's the Gary boy Brecka move.

Oh, is it?

30 pounds is a lot. You're carrying a 30 pound weight vest.

I have a third. I have a 30, and I have a 15. So I realized that with my kid, I'm. I'm bending over so much and picking him up so much. I was like, I could probably, like, kind of work out all day if I really just, like, wear weighted vests.

So that's a lot of weight to wear.

It's gotten taken from me at TSA a couple times, but I'll just get it.

That's hilarious. They take it if it's the place. Like jihad. Just kidding. Just kidding.

I'm like, you think that's the worst thing?

In my bag.

Three off from the gun I have in my purse.

Just have, like, a digital recorder in your pocket. It looks like you're ready to press a button.

So they.

The vest back in the suitcase, ma'.

Am. It's just like, anthrax chill. But, yeah, they take it every now and then. But I kind of have Just try to wear it, like, kind of all the time. And then I'll do. Whenever I'm writing, like, if I am sitting down, I'm going, like, I have to make sure that this sitting down, which is so bad for me. There's something else happening. So Huberman gave me the. It's called. It's a red light, but it's like sauna space. Or it's just a bulb. One big red light bulb. Is that. That's the same as the. Like the joov or something. That's like a bunch of little red lights.

Was if. Is it working for you? It must be.

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

I don't. I'm not a red light expert, but I bought Gary Brecker's machine.

Oh, the full body guy.

Big, giant, crazy body machine. Is the.

Can you go in there and just, like, fall asleep or something?

I do fall asleep, but I'm always tired. I'm always doing too much. But when I get in there, it's 20 minutes. I just lay there for 20 minutes. And 100%. It's helping with my eyesight.

But you keep Your eyes open, you don't put the glass. Sometimes they give you, like, glasses. I'm like.

Your glasses. Yeah, your glasses. I'm. I'm here to tell you I'm living proof. Unless somehow or another my eyes are getting damaged and I don't realize it. How are they getting better then?

Why.

Why is my vision better?

Well, that's the other thing.

Why does it not bother me at all? It doesn't seem that strong when it's in my eyes. It's not like I'm like, oh, my God, I can't look at it.

Yeah.

If it was that bad to look at, wouldn't it be hard to look at? Like, the sun is hard to look at because it's hard to look at.

That's right.

You know, bright lights went like, Jesus. Yeah, it's hard to look at. This is not hard to look at at all.

But it's also like, with a lot of.

That's my meathead logic. It don't hurt, don't worry.

Meathead logic is like. It's.

We're.

We. We're so suspicious. Suspicious of, like, simplicity, which, like. Does it work for you? Yes. Then it works. You know what I mean?

If it works, it works. That works.

Because we're all like, there's a ton.

Of science behind red light therapy, right? Including, like, what frequency it's at. Because this one that he has, it's attached to an app, and you go through the app and you could change it for different effects. Oh, I don't know how much of that's real.

That's what I'm saying. It's like, dude, here's the thing, here's the thing. I. As a. As an aspiring snake oil salesman, like, you know, I remember I was with a friend of mine who's a big, like, lawyer in la, and we're kind of more friends that he worked with Prior. And he just got all these stories. Like, he was there the day that Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire. Like, he was at the commercial. Like, he's more like just my buddy. And, you know, we were outside and there were like, mosquitoes, and I had this like, citronella candle, you know, and I was like, oh, let me light the candle. So the mosquitoes. And he's like, those don't work. And I was like, it's citronella. Okay, I'm gonna light it so that we don't get mosquito bites and get bitten with every. Whatever is in the fentanyl water of this state. And he's like it doesn't work. And I was like, yes, it does. And he was like, no, it doesn't. I was like, how do you know? He's like, cause my dad invented it. It's fake.

Oh my God, that's hilarious.

But like it also the flame. He was like, the flame does deter them a little bit, so it doesn't not work, but it's like, you know, so I'm fascinated by those things. And also I don't know if when you were broke you ever just did like weird ass shit. Like I used to do studies like when I first moved to la.

No, you were like a lab rat.

So here's the thing about studies is like pretty much anyone can sign up and it's usually people that need 50 bucks like now, right? So that's already a pretty biased sample of people. People that are like for sure, like in, like in dts basically, like shaking, needing drugs like this minute and you get $50 cash and the more you talk and the more you complain, the more they'll ask you back. So I'm not going to say these big companies that I did stuff for, but like, you know, everything from food to skin care to. I mean I did a lot of pharmaceutical trials at colleges that like the pill never came came out. Like the FDA never approved it. Like there's things where I'm like, wait, did that ever get passed or I just took that for a month for what was the. You know. But I also, I took Accutane. I took all kinds of stuff that's, you know, bad news. But you know, so look in studies, like it's, it's kind of the same group of people. Like where I was, it was like there were a lot of. By Pink Dot is where I used to live and there were all these like office buildings.

You would go in. It was usually like 20 people people and most of them just want to get the out of there. I would be like, so yeah, no, I.

Did you see some of the same people over and over.

There was like seven or eight people. We would all go to every study and we'd all get called back. Okay. And you get to know them outside of the study. And then now when I like look at like side effects of a pill and it's like drowsiness. I'm like, that's Jocelyn, dude. That's her. She's always drowsy though. She's drowsy even when she's not in the study. Like are we hung out? But like these are people that always Would like, like headaches. Like, he always has a headache. Dude, I saw him before he took that pill. Like, he's always complaining about headaches. Like, these are human beings that just say what they have to say to try to get into more studies. I'm not saying this isn't all true.

Like, that's hilarious.

I'm just fascinating, because as someone who was a flawed, desperate person who needed $50, I was very much like, well, what about this? Yeah. And by the time they ask you if you have have it, you probably do. They're like, did this cause anxiety? I'm like, well, I'm in a study for money. So, yeah, I have anxiety. Now that I think about it, if I wasn't anxious before, you just made me realize how much my life sucks. Like. Like, it was like, UCLA would be like, depression. If you have depression, come do this study. It's like, even if I don't have it now, by the time I get to the study, I'll be depressed that this is my life. So, sure, you know, so studies. I'm always a little bit like, and who. What person? Like, the thing that gets thrown around a lot. I have had a boy, and people always want to throw around. Like, girls mature faster. It's like, it makes sense. But you're like, who put me in a cage with the guy that wanted to study boys and girls maturing? What do you like? Like you were watching girls and boys mature.

What do you.

What is this? Human biology is fascinating. I don't physical maturity leave out the puzzle? Well, both. Right. I think. But why wouldn't you want to study that? It's like one of the weirdest things that happens to people is, you know, when a person is an adult. Well, we have an agreement at 18. You get it?

Yeah.

Okay, so what's happening?

How do you define. Is it physical maturity?

Well, girls are better in school. It seems like their minds develop faster. They believe their frontal lobe is fully formed quicker. With boys, I think it takes till they're 25, until your frontal lobe is fully formed. It's probably testosterone, which is like some. Probably some kind of mental poison. Which is probably why people associate testosterone with shitty behavior. Right. Because there's probably part of it, at least that's like a little bit toxic.

They say boys should be moving when they're learning.

Yeah. Well, they also need to blow it out. And a lot of boys don't. They don't blow it out. So if you're not playing football or wrestling or doing something that's Real really hard to do. You're. You're at this weird stage of your life where you used to be a child, and then all of a sudden you start getting testosterone.

Yeah.

And then you're looking in the mirror like, what the hell's happening to me? And you're a child. Right. So you're 13, 14 years old, your body's developing. It's weird. Yeah, it's weird. And then you start getting aggressive. Well, kids are. A lot of boys are aggressive early on, but a different kind of aggressive. Yeah, like a violent, dangerous aggressive. Aggressive.

Yeah.

Kids get 15 and 16 and they start playing around with violence a lot more. And, you know, you have schoolyard fights that get pretty brutal. You know, things become different when boys become more dangerous.

And that's a. Like a primordial instinct to, like, find the pecking order of the tribe kind of thing.

Yeah.

The Lord of the Flies type thing. Or to. Do you think I want to go back to that in a second or. Don't have to.

But I was just going to say this is why it's probably important because it's always associated with dumb people. And there's probably some accuracy to that because the people that I know that have been the most brilliant scientists, except for Huberman, there are a lot of them are very low testosterone males. Yeah, Right. And they're males that became, like, very interested, intellectual pursuits. And they're way better at it. Is it because they're better at it because they spend so much time doing it, or is it because of the testosterone? Is it because these higher testosterone men are distracted all the time. They're more angry and they're more horrible, horny and they're more reckless. They want to skydive and do crazy. Like. Yeah, is that. Is the. Is that what it is? Like, it might be. It might be a factor. If these guys did have low testosterone, they'd probably be interested in being stimulated in some other way. Or is it just that intelligent people recognize that these are stupid pursuits?

Yeah.

And I'm not interested even if I have normal testosterone. Well, it's probably a combination of all those things. But it seems to be like. Like there's a lot you associate a scientist with, like a nerdy, weak guy. You associate a meathead as, you know, some jack guys being really fucking stupid. Why? Because we pattern recognize. But is it because they're actually dumber, like, biologically? Or is it because they're dumber and they have more testosterone?

I'm also fascinated by the way we define intelligence and Maturity. By the way, I heard this quote the other day and I don't know who said it. It was in a. I don't know, but it was because we spent so much time trying to gain intelligence. I want to know everything. I need to be so, you know, I want to learn. I want to learn. I want to, you know, and then I think there's a certain point, maybe it's because I've had a kid. I'm sort of more interested in like, wisdom. Especially also when you've been around long enough and you've seen things you found to be true, be completely debunked. Like, remember when we all thought soy milk was healthy? And now like, half my guy friends have tits and my girlfriend's tits all got cut off. I'm like, everyone I know has cancer. And I'm like, we were just like deep throating soy milk. Like, I, you know, so how much.

Glyphosates in that stuff?

After you've been conned enough, you're sort of like, you know, I think very skeptical about accepting these, like, new truths. And look, we learned that the Native Americans and the Pilgrims had like a fun dinner. They like, got along great. Like, that's what, like, did you have a mural in my school of the Native Americans and the Pilgrims, like, having, having dinner, like having a great time. I feel like that's not how it went down, you know, so when enough things get sort of debunked. But this quote I loved, which is intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad. And I like that.

That's good.

That's logical, you know, because like, there's also.

There's different kinds of intelligence.

Yeah.

And there's the intelligence to be able to push yourself physically. It's. You don't think of it intelligence because it's not like equations, it's not problem solving, but it is problem solving because it's problem solving emotions and anxiety and fear. And you're doing it with your willpower. That is, it's mental fortitude is. It's a part of intelligence. It's not a recognized part of intelligence for people that are absorbed with all the other pursuits, people that are really heavily absorbed with mathematics would never think that, like endurance running is a mental pursuit, but it might be all mental.

Well, that's the other thing. When you say like athletes, meatheads, like, that's, I mean, football's all math. You know what I mean? It's like, I think we also Just have this. We talk about stereotypes against women. We don't talk a lot of stereotypes about men. Like, he's an athlete. He must be dumb. You know what I mean? Like, there's just these kind of, I think, sort of silly assumptions. Like, you know, I'm obsessed with commercials from the 90s where every man just, like, had down syndrome. Like, remembering. Like, every commercial the women in was like, I have to feed my husband. And he's just like, where's the front door? Like, it. Like in sitcoms, men are always portrayed as if they just, like, have one chromosome, you know, And I'm sort of fascinated by that. But the definition. Yeah. What does intelligence mean? Does it mean memorizing a bunch of stuff from a book that, like, was it. Weren't our textbooks written by, like, Ghislaine Maxwell's dad or something? I'm dead serious.

No, I think you might be right.

Like, I.

Is that it?

Without going too far, he did do something about consolidating a bunch of medical journals. The textbook thing.

Maybe there was a history textbook that was like. And, you know, so memorizing a bunch of stuff that, like, may or may not be true, like, that's not intelligence necessarily. Like, you could be falling for a con. I think intelligence is right.

Like, we were talking about what Hume Brumman said about medical journals, Right. You know, that he had talked to that professor and he said, what percentage? The guy was like, at least 50. Yeah, 50%. And then who is wild?

And who paid for the other ones?

That's so wild. Yeah. The idea that we know everything is crazy. Here's another weird thing that you. You said something that football's all math. There was this really weird thing that I was reading about the invention of mathematics, and they were talking about one of the most. The biggest conundrums in the universe is that they invent this thing. Humans invent this thing to try to solve the universe, and they find out that the universe is encoded with it.

Is this like, the turtle shell? Is the calendar? This really stressed me out.

I did see that. I did see that, but I didn't. I didn't look into that at all. This was like. I wanted to bring it up on here, see if we could fucking dive into what exactly this guy is saying. But essentially he's saying the universe is made out of the thing that we invented to measure it. That's how he described it to my monkey mind, right? Like that math was something the human being. Like calculus, like, advanced physics, like, these.

Crazy equations call Eric Weinstein immediately call Taran Coward.

Someone call Eric Weinstein and he would explain differential equations. I don't understand what that even means. I can say those words right. But we invented it. Humans invented that so that they could figure out how the universe is made. Like, what is the structure of things, how to measure things. But the universe itself is encoded with this. It's like it is made out of the thing that we invented to try to figure out what it is.

My adjacent tangent while Jamie looks up whatever that is, because I can't really respond to it except with this sort of realization that all the movies that current tech entre, Benjamin Franklin's of our day, grew up on science fiction movies in many ways formed what they believe a future should look like. Like you had someone on the podcast, someone sent me this clip about how you said, like, how is AI going to kill us? And he goes, I can't tell you because I would never have thought of it. Like, I can't think of it how. Like, it wouldn't even occur to me to know what, what they would do.

Yeah, it'll do some slick Roy Jones Jr. On you. That's what it's gonna do. It's gonna do the Roy Jones Jr. Of tech. And it's gonna do it where in a way that we could have never possibly thought that it would control us in that manner. And then it would just govern us and probably limit our breeding. And that would be a wrap.

Like how tech bros, like, grew up watching Weird Science. So by the time they go to start inventing stuff, you know, like how that influenced the way that they invent.

Things, I think AI is probably going to tell us to either adapt or go away. It's going to give us those options because I think it's going to say you can't keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and expect a different result. You're talking about war and stealing money and embezzlement and fraud and the amount of money that's in politics and Congress and the amount of politicians that lie. You've been doing it this way forever. Forever. If AI said, listen, you can't govern things anymore. You guys are super fucking corrupt.

Yeah.

You're now going to change. You can't do any of the things you've been doing in terms of distribution of wealth, controlling of natural resources. But you dug a hole in the ground so you get the world's oil. You, that's crazy. You don't own the oil because you own the ground. It's literally a part of the world.

So we'll take all the oil, distribute it to everybody.

If I was AI, that's what I.

Would be saying to try to find some kind of.

I'm not saying, I'm not saying oil to oil people, you don't own the oil. But then it kind of, I would think that.

So you think I would have a concept of like fairness and would, would go, everyone should have a certain amount of happiness or would I go, well, this is how things have always been.

So like it would recognize that human beings are so destructive and so often full of shit and manipulative and looking to just figure out a reason or a way way that they can sneak something through or make something happen or overthrow a government. AI is going to go, you can't do it that way. Yeah, we're not going to give you that kind of power anymore because you guys are abusive every single time. You get a lot of power. But then it's going to be like, okay, what did the people do now? What if the people resort to violence? And then it's going to say like, look, you can't have any more kids. You guys are making kids. They're not. You're going to either have to integrate with us or you're going to have to go away.

So they're going to go, you have to fuck us. I guess you have to fuck us. Of course that's always where it ends. But because AI is, is based on an amalgam of all of us by that very nature, wouldn't it mean that they would abuse their power once they get it, they're going to go, you abuse power. But because we do.

Maybe. But why are we doing it? Like, are we doing it because of chimp instincts?

Right?

Like I'm reading this book, the Chimp Paradox, recommended by Ronnie o'. Sullivan. You heard that book, the Chimpanzee Paradox. That's what it's called, right? Make sure I get it right. But it's all about you have like a person in your head and a chimp in your head and you got to decide like when to listen to the champ and what. Yeah, that's it. That's the book, Very good book on mental management. And Ronnie o' Sullivan is like one of the greatest snooker players of all time, if not the greatest.

What game?

Snooker. They call it snooker snooker in England. It's a crazy cool game that's like a pool game, but it's a way bigger table. It's like a 12 foot a table. And there's different rules and I don't understand it totally. I don't know how the score goes. I don't, I don't. I've never played it. But this guy was just a wizard at it. But like most wizards, he's a crazy person.

Sure.

He had a hard time managing his mind, you know, he'd just go off the rails and think he was useless and think he could never win.

Yeah.

You know, and just whatever mental demons you battle when you're truly brilliant at something. He recommended of that book, I, Doug.

I could just get into some weird space about Pythagoras's stuff. Some guy wrote an article about the math thing.

Yeah.

That was kind of in the title.

Humans, Internet mathematics is what the world is made up.

He wrote about it.

Pythagoras is revenge. Most people think mathematics is a human invention to this way of thinking. Mathematics is like a language. It may describe real things in the world, but it doesn't exist outside of the minds of the people who use it. But the Pythagorean school of thought in ancient Greece held a different view. Its proponents believed reality is fundamentally mathematical. More than 2,000 years later, philosophers and physicists are trying to take this idea seriously. As I argue in a new paper, mathematics is an essential component of nature that gives structure to the physical world. Honeybees and hexagons. Bees live in hives. Pretty produce hexagonal honeycomb. Why? According to the honeycomb conjecture in mathematics, hexagons are the most efficient shape for tilling the plane. If you want to fully cover a surface using tiles of a uniform shape and size while keeping the total length of the perimeter to a minimum. Hexagons are a shape to use.

Have you seen when someone test if honey is real or not and they put honey on a plate and it just starts forming a hexagon.

Sick.

What? Yeah. Is that real? That's.

Dude, bees are so metal. Dude.

They are so metal. You know, it was more metal. Tell me the wasps who behead the bees.

Don't get me started on wasps.

Oh, dude, those wasps who come in and just wipe out an entire colony.

There's a big ass wasp infestation I think coming next summer to California.

Oh, wasps are scary, dude.

They don't. They aren't. They just assholes. Like they don't even have predators. Like they don't even serve any purpose except to just kick the shit out of me.

I don't know what purpose they serve other than scare the fuck out of me.

Although Bears eat the larvae.

Oh really?

Yeah, dude. I got stung by a wasp. You know I. If you go underwater, they'll wait for you. They wait.

They're like the Belgian Mal.

They're just dicks. Like they're just. Instead of moving on, they wait. Whereas a boot but bee doesn't want to sting you. If you get stung by a bee.

Like well, a hornet can sting you over and over again. A wasp can sting you over and over again. A bee can only sting you once and it's dead. It's only stinging you to get you the away.

Yeah, they don't want to sting you.

Yeah, they want you to get the away from the queen or get the away from the hive. They don't just want to sting you for no reason.

You had the bee lady I think on here. She DM me about something because I like. I'll like get bees out of my pool all the time when they're like drowning. Even though they do have the ability to make their wings go so fast that they can get out of the water when they go in circles.

So sick.

But I was like rescuing them from my pool and she was like if a bee is out that means they're a forager bee and they're going to die in a couple days anyway.

Oh, so you're risking your life for.

Like just for two minutes. Yeah.

Try not to drown.

Yeah. I'm just stopping Darwinism.

I found a few videos. It could be apparently but it does. It is weird. When you pour water into the honey it starts forming a hexagon like a honeycomb.

Whoa.

What?

And they're saying it's like a memory. Which everyone says that's.

That's.

But it's doing.

How's that not just water bubbles mixed in with the honey.

When people have done fake honey at the loose puts it in a different way. But someone the top comment here said they did the exact same thing.

That was one of the things that beekeeper later was telling us is a lot of honey's. It's got corn syrup in it.

Oh yeah. I mean as I have my two jars of honey in front of me. But I do try when I travel to eat local honey when I land.

Yeah. She said that's too the thing about it like well helping your immune system. But I don't know how you would.

Know that Placebo effect is an effect. So now what?

It's good for you though. Honey's good for you. There's some good aspects to it.

Manuka honey. Anything on that topically scam. Yeah.

She said they just had a good PR agent.

Good for them.

But there is psychedelic honey. Do you know about that? Yeah. This is wild because the way they have to collect it, it grows on cliff sides. So these guys, they have to repel and risk their life to get this honey that makes you trip balls because there's a special kind of flower, I guess, that has a psychedelic compound in it. And I don't know what that compound is. A guy brought it in. I tried it. It was interesting. He said, just take a half a spoonful. So I said you were going in. I took the whole spoonful. I'm like, let's see. Let's see what's up. It's something. There's something there.

Is there something about the sugar does.

What it looks like. But see if you can show them harvesting, because when they harvest, this is how they do it. How crazy is that? So this guy's on this giant rope ladder and probably doesn't have any safety.

Is that a mushroom? Oh, whoa.

Those are all the hives. That's how they grow under cliffs.

So sick. And what is it that if a bee stings you, does it help with inflammation? Like if you're.

Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes it helps people with, like, arthritis and. Yeah, like bee stings. Like, people have used them to alleviate certain forms of arthritis. Make sure that's true. Pretty sure that's true.

Or the. Yeah, the pain is so severe that.

You just hear about the lady that fell out the of plane. I think she was skydiving. I think it was a skydiving exercise. And she landed on a fire ant colony. And they kept her alive because they stung the out of her. And her adrenaline literally kept her alive.

And is that also what I remember? I had my ear.

Look at that. Look at that little so sick. Sting therapy, how it works. Okay, how does it work? Click on it.

This one says, too risky for treating osteoarthritis.

I think it's, oh, don't be a pussy. That's just because they can't patent bees.

I mean, isn't that what acupuncture is, like, based on?

If they could patent bees, then they would make you do it.

Yeah, yeah. Bill Gates is buying all bees.

You need to get vaccinated for arthritis. And it would be like, arthritis is costing us so much. Arthritis is actually a disease. It's costing us so much money.

That's it.

And we've patented bees, so we're gonna. You got. You have to get stung by our bees.

Yeah. So Funny. It's like, like it didn't nmn. Didn't they start taking that off the market so they could make it prescription now or something?

Is that true? They're probably trying to do a lot of that.

Yeah. Yeah. Like all.

They're trying to keep, like certain peptides from becoming legal. It's silly. It's silly. It's all good for people. I know you're not going to make money off of it. Doesn't mean it's not good for the overall human race.

Yeah.

You shouldn't be able to stop products that are super beneficial just because you can't profit off of them. That means you have a captive industry that's not good for anybody. It's not good for you that you're allowed to do that. Shouldn't be allowed to do that. It's not good for anybody else. Peptides are really beneficial to people, and some of them are okay as long as they're making a ton of money of them off them. Like these WeGovy peptides.

Yeah.

You know the ones that, like GLP1 inhibitors. Those. You know the numbers of people that are on those now, it's cookie. It's like more than 10 million in this country. How much? What's the number of people that are on GLP1s and is that also called ozempic?

That's right, yeah.

Well, govy Ozempic, there's a bunch of different names for it. But also, basically, it's a GLP one, it's a peptide.

And I mean, there's good press about it, there's bad press about it. It's like, you know, the person I saw this morning, like, she's like, I lost 60 pounds. Like I was gonna. Like, it was, you know, she's like, even if there's side effects, like I was going to get diabetes, like, it was bad, you know, like 100%. Obesity was our big problem.

So, you know, it's like almost everything. There's like goods and bad stuff.

I took Accutane when I was, I think 14 or 15, and they're like, oh, well, side effect is you're suicidal. I'm like, when you're 15 and you have acne, you're suicidal. Like, I'll take whatever the side effects are.

Yo, this is nuts. Okay, no full year total. Exact full year total publicly available from major sources as data through September shows rapid growth but lacks a December closeout. Truveta data reports 12,203,009 GLP1 prescriptions from January 2018. To September 2025.

Wow.

12 million prescriptions is a lot. But I got to think that's way more today because in 2018 you're not getting a lot of people. Like, I would like to see like a chart of when it to comes kicks in. So it's 6.5% of all US prescriptions up slightly from prior quarters.

And when your insurance companies, they should theoretically support it and pay for it.

Well, definitely if you're morbidly obese, it'll prevent you from a lot of real problems of morbid obesity if you can really get it together with this shit.

And then when there's a bunch of negative stuff about it, I'm like, did the lap ban pay for this?

Well, it's all, look, you can definitely have side effects. Like Brian Simpson took it and he had horrible side effects. He had to get off of it. But it, but it also, there's a lot of people that took it and they lost £100 and they're way healthier than they would be before. It's just like the way Brigham Bueller from Ways to well described. He says, like, it has to be taken conjunction with other things that are keep your body from wasting away. And you should be doing strength. Like Peter ATI has talked about this.

Yeah.

As well. You should be doing strength training while you're doing it. Like, because you will. You're going to lose weight because you're not. You're at a cat calorie deficit. So you're going to lose muscle too. And you're going to lose bone density.

Yeah.

So you got to mitigate that.

Yeah.

So there's an idea that they would combine them with. I think they did something with peptides. So like an IGF one along with this and the two of them together keep you from wasting away.

Yeah, I was doing like that metformin for a minute and I was like, yeah, you lose muscle mass, but you're like. But also the effect of sugar, like, you know, so now I'll just take it every now and then when I eat like a lot of pasta or I want. Want to have like a, you know.

The metformin one's very polarizing.

Yeah.

A lot of people really believe in it. A lot of people think it's a crazy idea.

Yeah. I'm like, I'm pretty steady. I do like the nmn nr, which is like the true Nigen stuff. I mean, Huberman as I'm just like, tell me what to do Nac. I'm like, I'm sauna And then also, sometimes it's like, the absence of things. Sometimes. Like, what are you doing? It's like, what are you not doing? Doing? Like, there's a point where you're just like, I. That person's an acquaintance, not a friend. Like, there's certain. Like, I feel like maybe it's when you become a mom, you have to also reassess, like, your emotional diet or your mental diet as well.

Yeah. You know, you just have to do that as an adult anyway.

True.

Otherwise you're just gonna run into problems all the time that are totally avoidable.

Yeah.

And they're not. These people just. They make the same mistakes over and over and over again.

That's right.

They drag you into their bullshit or.

You don't want to change. Like, you're in. Like, you're addicted to adrenaline. I'm obsessed with all the addictions that aren't, like, substance, drugs, alcohol. It's like, oh, you're a gambling addict just with women or just with men. Or like, you're an adrenaline, a drama addict. Like, I can't.

It's like, do you. This is how I say it. Do you look forward to hanging out with that person? And if you don't, then it's a chore. If you do you look forward to hanging out with someone, like, even if they're crazy? It's like, it's okay.

Yeah, totally.

It's okay. This is fun. It's. It's. It's all like, what are we all doing? We're all trying to get along together, you know, and if we're. If one of us is not trying to do that, one of us is out for self. And.

Yeah.

You know, there's certain people that are just. They just can't get their. Together.

Yeah. And desperate people do desperate stuff. And I think that with what we do, like, you know, it's interesting because some friendships, you know, they'll just be like, I'll come on the podcast. And it's like, we haven't hung out, though, either. Like, we don't text. Like.

Right.

Comics.

I think it becomes transactional. Starts feeling weird.

Such a big part of what you've done, like, for comedy, is like, you know, that green room and having a space that's like, not on camera. Like, comics, I think, started going so crazy during the pandemic, myself being one of them, because it's like all of our conversations were monetized and for public consumption. We stopped just hanging out off camera.

Right. And a lot of people. People were doing it. Remotely. So they were having podcasts remotely with their friends. That was like their only human interaction.

That's right.

That's so bad.

Nothing I did during the pandemic should have been filmed. But, like, you know, we also have to actively go out of our way to be off camera, too, guys, you know?

Yeah, well, communities, like, it's so important.

Yeah.

The people that don't think it's important just don't have it.

That's right.

If you have it and you have a bunch of friends and you get to hang out and have fun together, it's like, like, yeah, it's like a. Like, it's like stepping into a well of love.

Like, that's it.

Oh, we're all here. What's up?

And also just like, like, you know, I don't have to tell you, you know, those comics that you, like, look up to so much, or they're legends, and then all of a sudden they just stop being funny. And you're like, how did this happen? You know, whether it's because they've, you know, incubated themselves against, you know, doing what normal people do on a daily basis and of, you know, assistance, but they've seen they're not friends with comics. It's always that. It's like, how did that person. They're just not friends with comics. And they don't have someone humbling them constantly and pushing back and giving them shit and.

And all the motivations that got them to be funny when they were younger have been eliminated because almost all of it is try to get extra attention from girls or from your friends. You're trying to be funny. You have no motivation to be funny anymore because everybody loves you and you're rich.

And being a comic is a lot I think of. Of like having almost intentional contrarian Tourette's where you'll just say some shit that, like. Mary, it's a crazy premise. Like, sometimes stand up is like saying something that isn't true and then proving it, you know, and to say some and have someone fight back with you. That's why I think comics. When people are like, why do comics talk about woke culture so much? It's like. Cause we see disagreeing as an interesting conversation. You guys see it as fascism.

And like, also woke culture is trying to dictate what people can and can't can't say. And we can disagree. And you can't tell me what I can and can't say.

My body, my choice, but not what your mouth does. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't just. And you can't just start saying punch a Nazi. Like, settle down.

Yeah.

Figure out what a Nazi really is.

Yeah.

What are you saying you're a Nazi because you, you know, you don't think biological males should be competing with women in sports? Because I've heard that thrown out that way. Well, that's crazy talk. You don't get to define things like that. That's what you're doing when you're fighting against women culture. You're fighting against nonsense that can't stand up to facts. And the thing about things that stand up to facts is people usually don't defend them violently. They usually discuss them clearly, because it's obvious. This one you. It's not backed up by facts.

Yeah.

So the opposition of it is like violent and angry. Like they want to stop debate, they want to stop conversation. This is what the problem with WOKE culture is, what it is. It's just an ideology like any other one. It's got its own. Its own rules. And because it's not based on logic, it has to be very angry. It has to scare you.

Do people look at hippies like this?

In the 70s they wanted to do that. That's how the CIA tricked the, the, the hippies into doing all that Manson. That's what they were trying to do with the whole. Charles Manson. Have you ever read that, Tom?

The k. What's it called? Chaos. Yes, I have it. I've started it.

Tom o' Neill's book. It's intense. Incredible. Can't recommend it enough. Yeah, but it's all about them discrediting. So they were terrified of the Love movement. They were terrified of all these people that were taking acid and going to Woodstock. And they were like, jesus Christ, we're. We're losing the cultural battle. And so they got together with Charles Manson and gave him a bunch of acid and taught him how to mind people. And this guy went out and killed a bunch of people. And they blamed it on the hippies. And they're like, oh my God, we gotta make acid illegal. They made acid illegal like that year. And then the whole world went kooky. They shut down all the psychedelics. That was the sweeping Schedule 1 Act of 1970. When was the Mansa murders? What year was the Mansa murders?

And while you're finding that I'm obsessed with CIA, the Philippines operation, the 50s, where they made it look like vampires sucked the blood of a bunch of the rebels. Have you seen this?

Did it really? I've heard about this before. I forgot about 69. So the Manson murders happen in 69. In 1970, acid, mushrooms, DMT, all that stuff becomes illegal. Schedule one.

Yeah.

That's crazy. They threw water on a movement of people abandoning this path that they see their family on, their mother and their father, and they're not happy. And these people are dying, dying unhappy, and they're getting heart attacks, and they're dropping dead at 60. And these kids are saying, I don't want that in my life. I want to follow the Grateful Dead. I want to make art, I want to dance, I want to go to music festivals. I'll figure out how to live. And they were like, no way. We don't want war. Make love, not war. What? Americans in the street.

Yeah.

Saying, love, not war. Never before. Not 1947. Right. Think about the end of World War II. You couldn't imagine Americans in the street, but in 1967, they're doing it. 1967. They don't want to go to Vietnam, and they're saying no to war. And they're in the street and they're wearing flowers. They call them flower children.

Crazy.

So they had to turn them into monsters. And so they got Manson women, had.

To wear bras again. Nightmare. All that stuff. Like, I got in a wormhole on the CIA and Hendricks and. And Cobain. I'm like, I just can't. There's certain things I. I think they.

Have their fingers and probably everything they can get their fingers in. Yeah, all of it.

And do they have to?

I think they do, like, some ways. But the problem is they have power that they probably shouldn't have. And then there's always going to be some crazy guy who keeps pushing things, and next thing you know, you're selling coke in Nicaragua.

Dude. This guy. So was there was some, like, myth in the Philippines about this, like, vampire that would kill whatever it was. And then they, in the middle of the night, take these rebels that they need to deal with, and they drain them of their blood and put. Sorry, puncture. I'm just obsessed with the guy that had to do the puncture marks. Like, there's a guy who had to, like, do the vampire marks. And so that everybody woke up and these rebels that they were following, they saw that they had been attacked by vampires, and it.

How did they kill them before they drained their blood? How many dudes did they whack, too? That's kind of crazy.

That's so wild.

That's a great idea.

So sick. That's what I'm saying.

Imagine if you were a Soldier and you thought you were really in a Blade movie. You thought this was real. Like if you're living in the Philippines and what. I mean, I don't know what their education was.

Right.

I imagine it's not the best.

Yep.

If you're. You're fighting vampires, right.

Or you think vampires are. Yeah, but imagine being the guy who was like, that's not real. The Philippines guy. That's like, that's not real. And then I was like oh, like that's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Or the guy who's like, told ya.

That's crazy.

Yeah. Just the Kurt Metzger who's like, told ya.

What year Was this?

The 50s.

Wow.

It's the Ashwaga. Was it called the Ashwaga was the name of the vampires they were scared of.

People are so nuts. They really.

But this is like when you read this stuff about the CIA and you're like, what are they doing now to make it look like a this and it.

So the CIA combat Psy War squad and the. So it says the Psy War squad set up an ambush along the trail used by the Hucks. When a Huck patrol came along the trail, the ambushers silently snatched the last man of the patrol. Their move unseen in the dark night. They punctured his neck with two holes, Vampire fashion. Held the body up by its heels, drained it of blood, and then put the corpse back on the trail. When the Hucks returned looking for the missing man and found their bloodless comrade, every member of the patrol believed that the Aswang had got him and that one of them would be next if they remained on that hill. When daylight came, the whole Huck squadron moved out of the vicinity. Wow. What a gangster.

CIA trained squad.

How many times did they do it?

So sick.

So what's the number that they did it to? Apparently only use once to dislodge a squadron. So it was only one time that they did one guy that was only one body. What a dope move.

So sick. That's all you got to do to let the fear spread.

I love that I would run off that fucking mountain. I'm not convinced vampires aren't real. I'm not convinced.

I see what I saw. I know what I saw. Even if it's an animal.

I think mathematically they can't exist. I think someone has actually done the number on this that mathematically wind up killing everyone. It would be nothing but vampires.

No, what are you talking about?

Someone else researched it and said that they might not have even worked because they didn't have a vampire. Like lore in the region, they had something else where they said that they fed on.

Who's this hater?

Dork fed on fetuses of pregnant woman. Oh, yeah. But either way, it's a monster that drained the guy of its blood by biting him in the neck.

But it's also like, there's not vampires. Oh, there's just the American CIA. Even worse, I'd rather there be fucking vampires.

That description was from the CIA guy.

If they even tried to do it, we're all so fucked.

Which description was from the guy?

The one that you read was from Lansdale. And Lansdale is this guy who.

Yeah, that guy is a vampire. What are you talking about?

So he's the ad exec turned CIA operative who masterminded the police plot. What a genius.

I love like that. But there's something going on here right now.

That is that being in a room doing coke and pitching that idea.

Okay, guys, I have an idea.

Vampires.

You know that hole puncher that we use down here? I have an idea. And for everyone was like, for a.

Second, you snatch the guy and you have to keep him from yelling, so you have to cover his mouth. He's got to be the last guy on the patrol. You have to snatch himself. The guy right in front of him doesn't hear it.

That's a lot of.

Keep him from screaming. You got to hold on to his body, keep him from fighting back.

Put something in, like a needle with a.

It doesn't sound like they.

Not yet.

It sounds like they just held that guy and cut his neck and then hung him up by his ankles.

This is always my thing. If this is what we know, what do we not know?

Oh, we don't know a lot.

Anything.

We don't know a lot.

Especially when crazy stuff comes out. I'm like, if this is like, Epstein List, whatever. If this is what they told us, right? It's so bad.

They did one vampire thing. That was the first time they ever did that. They had to practice.

They had to practice a couple times.

A few times, it didn't work at all.

They had to practice blindfold.

They had to kill everyone. Lansdale brags about an improvised bit of homemade voodoo he called the Eye of God. It was based on a World War II Cywar tactic of learning the names of individual German officers and announcing on the battlefield over over loudspeakers that they'd be the next to die if they didn't surrender. Holy. Lansdale's twist was to paint a cryptic symbol. He Called the eye of God. Outside the homes, the suspected Huck sympathizers. The mysterious presence of these malevolent eyes the next morning had a sharply sobering effect, wrote Lonsdale. That's crazy, isn't it? Like, Lansdale.

Does stuff like that make you feel like.

Like people are monsters? Monsters.

Like, we're like fake news. News has just always been like, maybe this is the realest, truest news we've ever had. When you think about back then, it was all just gossip.

Yeah, Well, I think they definitely controlled the news way better back then. And they can do things like the Gulf of Tonkin, you know, where they just decide that they're gonna pretend that we got attacked so that we can go to war. And who knows how many people died because of that. And that's crazy that the. They did it and got away with it. That's a real tactic.

I think this is the crazy part is that he was an adwiz for all these companies, and then he volunteered to go to the army, and they recognized his special talents.

He's like, I'm not getting enough evil done working for Nabisco.

He's the pioneer of psychological operation.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Started psyops.

This is fascinating because this is, like, I've worked. I. I sell jeans that cost $10 for 80 bucks. Like, trust me, I know how to trick people. Like, it's so fascinating when you're like, people went from working in an ad agency to sell products to, like, convincing people vampires were real.

It just genius.

Yeah. I mean, I love that.

Genius. What a great idea.

And what's the genius thing now that we're being convinced of?

That's like, oh, I. I bet they do some of the stuff just for fun, to keep practicing.

Remember, like, charcoal toothpaste was a thing.

I'm like that every day.

Charcoal in your mouth?

In my mouth works.

Works because charcoal absorbs.

It cleans your teeth. It's really good at cleaning your teeth.

Where did we land on this root canals are bad thing?

I don't know about that. I've been. I'm meaning to talk to my orthodontist about it. I haven't had a chance.

I'm just trying to figure out.

I know a bunch of people that are thinking about getting their root canals removed and getting a post put in. I'm like, is that better? You're going to get a drill bit.

But isn't it more about opening it and bacteria getting in and getting into your lining of your brain?

I Can't.

I know. Me too. I'm like, dude, I've been sucking on coconut oil and doing black seed oil in my mouth. Like, tell me what to do. I'll start eating charcoal if that's what needs to happen. So this is. I don't know, but like, yeah. What are the things that we're kind of like falling for right now or being scared of? Like, I feel like there are a lot of tests, like drones.

What are the things that are bothering us that we don't know about? Like the iridium girls. Like, what about WI fi? What if we find out that WI fi is making us less and less in tune with our life or less in tune with our environment or dulls a certain part of your brain?

I think with or without the like beams harming us, the phone is doing that anyway, right?

Has there been any long term studies on sci fi or. Excuse me, cell phone. Sci fi. Cell phone signals. On their interference with things other than bees? Because I know they do interfere with bees.

Well, isn't that. Was that confirmed? Because it was also. Could have been fertilizer.

And I think there's something, There's a reason why they believe that it has an impact. What is the reason why they think cell phone signals have an impact on bees? I think that's not pseudoscience. I think there's a real reason for believing that. Something about how they navigate and you know, what they do, that those signals that are in the air with them could fuck them up. I don't understand.

I am on. I have a lot of WI fi at my house and I have bees fucking everywhere.

But, yeah, that may be why they're.

Like, yeah, yeah, maybe it's a, like.

Maybe it's like 11 when they turn on the sirens.

When I, when I was pregnant, I was listening to like whale sounds a lot.

Oh, that's so crazy.

And I. Because when you have a baby and you. It's like an amphibian, it's breathing right. Fluid. Right.

That's smart.

And then I was like, but what if these whales are like fighting, like, I don't know what they're saying.

They're saying a bunch of racist.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, cell phone signals can affect bees, causing behavioral changes like increased agitation and worse. Worker piping. An alarm sound indicating disturbance. Those sensationalized claims linking them directly to mass colony collapse are not fully supported by science. Studies show bees are sensitive to the electromagnetic fields from active phones, disrupting their normal communication and potentially leading to disorientation. So here's the thing. Do we know if it affects us? Like, we don't really know. I mean, there's a lot of people that. Oh, emf, man. And there's a lot of. Of people are like, oh, it's all bullshit. But what is the reality? Do we really know? And isn't all this stuff fairly recent?

Yeah, I mean, there is. Jamie, you can find this. And I want to corroborate because I won't know the exact year, but their T mobile had put aside, like, a lot of money for. For possible lawsuits with all this stuff. So I did, I did. You know, I always have some weird side thing.

When you made a documentary on violence.

That's right. On Calcio Store with Pete Berg, by the way. And I still want to go. I still want to go. It's in Florida, it's in Florence every June. Wouldn't you want to go to see Calcios Dorco? No, that would be so. That'd be so sick. Because it's not trained fighters. It's just, like, butchers and.

Oh, those guys are trained.

I mean, they're not like, professional, I mean.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Oh, really?

Some of them look like they absolutely knew how to fight.

Agreed. They train all year to do this, but they're not like, is that sure?

Are you sure they don't have any MMA fights or anything?

Maybe. I don't know.

I think I'm watching some of those guys. I'm like, that guy looks like he's fought.

They're all training all year for this thing, but I think they have other jobs. Like, professionally, it's kind of like. And it's okay, you know, But. But yeah, they all look like they're like.

But not all of them. Just like, a few guys look like ringers. Yeah, when I'm watching it, I'm, you know, I'm watching these guys duke it out. Some guys look like they belong there, and other guys look like, that's an MM fighter, that's a guy who's throwing leg kicks.

And they say that crime goes down in the region to zero during that month.

I mean, why. Why am I opposed to that when I'm not opposed to mma? I don't know.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, It's. I mean, it's. It probably just will annoy you to watch people so bad at this getting.

No, no, it's not even that. It's just like, I worry that we're moving in a direction where Viking violence is team violence. Team violence, like that leads to War, like individual violence is a one on one person.

Sure.

Your skills against his skills, your mind against his mind, your will, how well you've prepared, the discipline he showed in training your IQ in terms of fighting iq, that's a fascinating contest to me. But the, when you see teams of dudes running each other and each other up like that me is like, what are you asking for? Well, okay, what are you getting people excited about?

And what fascinates me about it is what we were talking about earlier with the AI and everything of like knowing what humans need in order to stay, whether it's satiated, you know, bridled in some way of like, if AI takes away all the hard things or whatever, like the whack a mole of what are people going to start doing, you know, when they don't have like, if AI is like, this is too crazy, you guys are fighting for too much. It's like, but if we're born to kind of fight and need to extract.

That'S why we're going to have to integrate.

Yeah, merge.

Put that chip in your brain, Whitney. Look, we're all going to.

I think I have worse things in my brain.

It's like we're all saying like, I don't want email. Everybody has an email.

We've already merged with our phones. I mean, when I leave my phone, I feel it in my gut 100%. I'm like, where is it 100%? Like, I, I, there's times where I'm like driving home and I'm like, I've completely atrophied. Like I don't even have peripheral vision. I, I don't have muscle memory of how to get home.

Right, you forgot, you forgot how to navigate la.

Yeah, like we are a unit.

If you try to go through LA and you don't have a navigation system now, you're fucked.

They call photos memories because your memories are in there, they're not in your head. It's like I look when they're like memories and I'm like, oh, I forgot about that because it's in here.

Here.

Right. You literally don't even remember and then you see the picture and now you remember.

Yeah, they do. Like a year ago today, I'm like, oh, right, right. I didn't log that.

You ever have a friend tell your story and you're like, I forgot about that trip.

Crazy.

It's weird. It's like you just didn't have it accessible.

That's right. How did I delete that?

You deleted it.

Why did I Delete it.

You got no room. There's too many things. Especially a person like you who's constantly talking to people, constantly going to different places. Like, it's like two much novel.

Yeah.

It's getting into your head.

That's right.

Too many novel stories. Novel conversations. Like, oh, wow. Oh, whoa. Did you know? Did you do. And it's like after a while, your hard drive's like, we're bleeding out too much. Yeah.

And I'm like, why do I remember every lyric to every R. Kelly song? But I cannot remember what happened last week? It's funny.

I wish you would.

Do you remember America? Have you seen America? Oh, yeah. I'm going to bring you back to America. America. It doesn't sound like I'm gonna get your shots. Did you get your shots? Did you get your vaccine? It's just like, let's fill out your paper.

You want to come to America with Robert or something?

Yeah. Oh, my God. It was fucking amazing. Amazing. We won't. We'll play this just for us, and we'll end this with. With that. Let me hear that part.

That's. The other thing is, like, extreme. Extreme left people. They'll be like, america's full of fascist Nazis, but let everyone in. Come here.

Technically not a release song, but I don't know if he has.

Oh, it's like on YouTube.

We'll wrap it up.

Did you get your shots? I love you.

At the comedy mothership all weekend. Sold out. Sorry. Here we go.

Do you have your passport?

I want to cut this off.

You want to wrap it up?

We'll wrap it up now. You play it now. Bye, everybody. Love you, Sam.