Transcript of South Beach Sessions - Todd Glass

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Todd Glass. This is someone that Jim Gaffigan says is the funniest person that he has ever met. That's high comedy. All the comedians say this guy is the comedian to love. You've been doing it now 45 years. When I say that, did you know you've been doing it 45 years? Because that's crazy.

Yeah, you know, it's the only time that I, you know, I don't, I mean, I don't talk about my age that much because it's like, for me, I'm not talking about here, just like personally. I don't try to make it a part of my act because it's not the most interesting thing about me. So, and, and also my, my insecurity of mentioning it, but I'm sort of proud that I've been doing that long. So recently when I realized that I will go, someone go, how long you doing comedy? I go, 45 years. I started in high school. I started in, uh, 10th grade.

Well, I realized on my way to work the other day that I've been doing some form of this paid for, you know, writing sewage articles for the River Cities Gazette for almost 40 years. And it took me aback. I was a little bit surprised by it. So when I said that to you, I thought it would land in a certain way to say 45 years of standup comedy. Generally comedy, I can say doesn't age well, like just generally it's hard. So to do it for 45 years is an achievement. It's reinventing yourself across decades.

Well, and you know, you can, if like, if you don't, if you have a big enough audience, you don't have to really grow 'cause you have that audience. But you know, no offense to myself, when you're like me and it helps to have a new slew of people coming in, you know, I don't wanna just talk about my act about, I mean, look, I don't wanna insult any comedians that do this. And I'm not talking about some of this, everyone can, have, you know, remember we did this, remember we did that. That doesn't mean that's what I'm about to talk about. But when it's all everything sucks today, music sucks today, comedy sucks today, the younger people don't want to come out and see you, which makes sense. So, you know, I've managed to, uh, I mean, off stage I go with the times. I'm not mad at change. I don't change because I have to. Uh, so it's helped me be relevant with a younger group of people, which You know, I'm not gonna lie, I like that. I like that. I would be aware if no younger comedians ever wanted to meet me or hang with me, I'd be like, yeah, they look at what I do.

I don't want 'em to say like, oh, Todd Glass is a nice guy, but that act, oof. You know? So I've managed to change and grow, and I'm a different comedian than I was back then. And I remember once I said to my friend Gary Goldman, I go, when am I gonna stop being embarrassed of my old work? He goes, hopefully never. I go, that's a good point. What do I want to do? Go, my best work was 10 years ago, you know? But I thought about it. I go, how many comedians are doing it? Because it makes me be on the up and up. Like, you know, one night me and my friends were sitting around, we're trying to name comedians that were older that were still, you know, funny. They exist.

It's hard though.

Yeah, it is. But there are the guys. Gaffigan's one of them. Brian Regan is one of them. You know, there are guys, but it just You know, it doesn't happen a lot.

Well, uh, if the folks don't know though, you've been doing it for 45 years because you started at a ridiculous age. Yeah, who has the confidence at— what age were you, 14, 15— to get on a, on a stage in Philadelphia?

I was 15, and long story very short, I didn't even know what a comedy club was. My friend goes, hey, there's this place called the Comedy Works in Philadelphia, in the city. And we were gonna go on a Saturday. In my head, for some reason, I remember this very clear, I thought it would be college students telling jokes. 'Cause if you weren't, you know, big, big act, like, you know, Rodney, or even back then Jerry Seinfeld was, you know, you knew who Jerry Seinfeld was even back then. Isn't that funny how long some of these guys have been, you know?

Well, he's 70 now.

I remember looking at his check, him and Jay Leno, like they would come, well anyway, let me go in order here. So we went down to the Comedy Works, and it was about a 300-seat club, it was packed. And I already liked comedy, but seeing it live, I fucking fell in love. And I went every week and we would see guys like, even some of them were younger then and not big, but we'd see like, you know, Richard Lewis, Jerry Seinfeld, Gary Shandling, Jay Leno, Roseanne Barr, Eddie Murphy had just been on SNL. So the list went on and on and on. Steve Wright, just see these amazing acts. And then eventually Wednesday, It was an open mic night and I went up and, oh, I, I, I was, I've never stopped and I love it still. I love it now as much as I've loved it when I started.

So what happens then though? It's a lightning strike. It's, it's you're 15 years old, you're on stage and you know, immediately this is what I want to do forever.

I knew that I liked standup comedy before that, but doing it, yeah, I knew I had, I lucked out. I did good the first time. But probably because I was young, you know, I looked, you know, you don't think you're 16, you're cute, but probably to an audience of older people, look at this 16-year-old, he's like, uh, and, um, it went very well. It didn't go very well the second time, but, uh, and yes, I knew. I'm not foreshadowing. I always like to make sure when I talk back you're not foreshadowing. And I knew, but I did. I knew not only doing comedy but meeting comedians, and, and I, I, uh, I related with them. I understood them. I was like, these are my people. I drove home and I was Whew, I was very happy. I was very happy because afterwards I hung out with these comedians and they were nice and I was, it was fun and it was really enjoyable.

Oh, so you found community too though.

That's, that's right. You said that better than me. I found community too. And I was with my brother who was older and we went out and, and then, you know, I got my license very shortly after that and it was great. I always, and at a young age, like there was this place by the time I was like 18. Now, yeah, about, about 18, there was a place there called the Valley Forge Music Fair, and it was in the round. There's one in Westbury called the Westbury Music Fair. And I was 18, 19 years old. I started opening up for like Diana Ross and Patti LaBelle and George Jones and Aretha Franklin, and the list goes on and on and on. Uh, just, just touring with these, these big acts, which taught me a lot. It did. Like that, I'm glad I got to do because I Definitely like the music element of a show.

What did it teach you?

Well, Patti LaBelle to this day, and I didn't even know who Patti LaBelle was back then. Probably a lot of younger people don't know who Patti LaBelle is now. Uh, her just the, the, uh, 100% just every single night going out there and shredding it and just pouring her heart out. And, and the music, you know, them bringing me onto the stage. Now I, I, not all the time, but sometimes I tour now with a little band, and just starting the show, you know, when the lights go out. Comedy, they don't do that as much, but music, they do. It's like a very, "Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome." I remember that announcement. "Good evening and welcome to the Valley Forge Music Fair." And then, foomp, the lights would go out.

You were very good at that. You really do.

You like that?

Oh my God. You put me there.

Please kindly watch your step as you enter and leave the theater. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, Patti LaBelle with the John Correll Orchestra. And then the lights would go down, and then sometimes they'd fanfare with spotlights. So I do that when I'm at a show. I try to make the opening have the lights go down, and then the music starts, and then, you know, they play you on.

So, uh, but all that stuff is, uh, you know, I, I gotta be honest, I want you to just do that character. Well, it sounds like you've got memorized, you know, exactly. You just got transported. You yourself just got transported back to that space.

I remember the did it. He was like, he wasn't even— that's— he just happened to work there and he had a good voice. He was head of food services at the Valley Forge Music Fair. You know, they have concession, right? And he just happened to have a good voice, so he would be doing it in the back of the room. But I was like, you know, I really like that, the starting of the show, you know, make it, make it exciting.

Well, you started and stopped yourself in honor of the chronology, but you said you saw Seinfeld's check and then you stopped yourself.

So, you know, it's just amazing, like back then, like Jay Leno was not as big as he is, you know, when he got The Tonight Show and all that. And Jay Leno and Jerry Seinfeld. But I remember seeing his check and I couldn't believe it. It was like, I think, $8,500, or even it might have been $10,000. It was in that area, I remember. And, uh, he did 6— 5 shows— no, 6 shows. 2 Friday, 2 Saturday, 2 Sunday. 300-seat room. You do the math, it adds up pretty quick. But like, even then, those guys were doing real big, because they were even then special events, you know, like the normal tickets were this price, but when someone like they came, when someone like those guys came in, it was, it was a bigger event.

So when and how did you realize that you could actually make a career out of it? Like, you knew you wanted it, but how did you know that it was plausible?

Well, I desperately needed to find something. I have— I had very, I'd say, very bad dyslexia. They, they just didn't know a lot about it even when I was in high school, but they started to know a lot about it, so I didn't know what I was going to do for a living. Either did my parents. And I would— I love stand-up comedy. And every time I went there for the show, once I went on a Saturday to see the show, I went every single weekend with my high school friends. And then after I graduated, I kept going and going. And then, but like, I would always hear them go, hey, you know, if you— before they brought up the headliner, they'd do some house announcements. Hey, New Year's Eve, we have this act coming in. And don't forget Wednesday, if you think you're funny, it's our open mic night. And then, but once I did it, I knew that I could do this. I didn't, you know, I never really thought for a living, but, you know, there was so much comedy back then. Uh, I, I was starting to make a little bit of money even a year and a half later, you know, starting to make $50 here, $100 for this show.

So, and I lived at home still, so how much money did I need to make, you know?

And so when do you realize, though, I'm gonna chase this as a career?

Because I don't, you know, I think the honest answer— I shouldn't speak for other comedians— is you don't really. It just happens. You never were going, "Wait, I could do this for a living." But I never really did it. I mean, for the first 2 years of stand-up, I still had a few jobs here and there, but I lived at home, like I said, so I didn't need that much money. But, um, but pretty soon after, I mean, obviously by the time I was 18, I must have known.

Well, you came out of high school, you moved to Los Angeles, correct?

No, I moved to Los Angeles when I was like 23-ish. So I did Philly for a while.

Okay.

I did Philadelphia for a while. And then like the big deal there was like you did your open mic night was Wednesday, Thursday was Best of Philly. So that was like when you got a Thursday, that was a big deal. And then the big step up was when you emceed on the weekends, which meant doing 10 minutes of standup comedy and then introducing the two other acts. Uh, so like that was definite. I remember the door guy there, Tony Molino, he was real sweetheart. And he goes, I, He goes, you're gonna do well, you're gonna get a weekend. And this is so mean, but I went, ugh, I wish he knew what he was talking about. 'Cause I couldn't believe he was right. And then I did, my first weekend was opening up for, my first weekend there was opening up for Jay Leno. And you know, there was a big crowd. And the jokes, you know, on open mic night you have to prove you're funny. Almost on the weekends, 'cause there was so much good comedy, you almost had to prove you weren't. So when you go up there with these, you're like, oh my God.

And then when I did my first open for in the 3,000-seat in the round at the Valley Forge Music Fair, I think— I forget the first, I think it was George Jones was the first time I did it. It was a country singer. I don't know if you even know who he is. Um, and, uh, coming back then to the clubs, just a boost of confidence because 3,000, then I would come in, it was like, oh, this was nothing to me. Like, you know what I mean?

But it also seems difficult though to do comedy before a music show when people are there for the That seems like a tough crowd.

No, they don't do it as much anymore, but for what I did, you know, it wasn't that— it was pretty digestible, you know what I mean? So I did well. I did well, you know. I did pretty well opening up for music acts, but they weren't like, you know, they were music acts. They weren't crazy. It wasn't like mayhem, and they were seated shows.

Well, but you said Aretha Franklin. Like, that's—

But I mean, is Mayhem is like they were all seated. It wasn't like I was opening up for— I opened up for a few big bands. That was difficult. You know, when I say big bands, like where there's standing room in the front and that type, that type of music show. These were, yes, these were living legends even then. But, um, there was seated rooms. Does that, does that make sense? Yeah, they were seated.

Yeah, you're— it's not the crazy energy of ping-pong balling music that you're slowing down by going out there and merely talking.

Yeah. And you learn— and exactly, exactly. And you learn some tricks. Some of them are given to you by other comedians. They're sort of stock, but you know, they're, they're like you— I used to go out and say, uh, you know, like, hey, let, let, uh, let Diana know you're, you're a good crowd. Let him— let her hear it. She's listening backstage. You know, like, to get them to go, uh, so there were, there were ways—

tricks.

You had your cheap tricks, your dirty tricks that aren't, uh, that aren't—

you shouldn't be talking about them all these years later because of cheap they were.

Another one was, again, like, what if, what if I wasn't supposed to be doing this? But I, as I understood it, it was like, you know, I've seen, to be honest, I've seen some old videos now of like, you go on YouTube and I saw somebody use this joke and I went, wait, was that a joke that— and it was like, hey everybody, like, you know, let me explain who I am. You ever go to the deli, you get a sandwich, you get a pickle. You didn't ask for a pickle, right? You didn't ask for a pickle, but you get it. I mean, you enjoy it. I'm the pickle.

All right.

That sort of helped. It sort of helped because they're like, oh yeah, we can enjoy. I mean, you have to follow that up with funny, but I think it gets over the initial, you know.

What do you regard as sort of the happiest time for you in comedy? When you say it feels exactly the same now as it did the first time I got hit by a lightning bolt when I was 15, is there one space of time that you regard as the happiest you were professionally, or does it all Is it all linear?

It's now. It's now. I honestly, you know, I always did pretty well on stage because I like doing stand-up, so when I'm out there, I'm in a good mood. But I work harder now than I've ever worked my entire career. I used to be a guy who wrote on stage. You know, you write on stage. I'm not the only one. You write on stage. I have a binder full of my jokes, but it's like, you know, just a reminder of the joke. I don't write out the whole joke. But I never got together with a friend. A lot of comedians do, and you just punch right. You go through your stuff, you're like, anything there? You don't, you don't have to, like, you're working on a late night show, sit there. If nothing comes to you, it doesn't come to you. But I started doing that 2 years ago for this show, and it is so much better and so much tighter. And another thing I started to, you know, let's say this is the theory I came up with, uh, I started to, um Like, let's say 10 is the best audience member in the world.

They're all 10s, that's the best. That means 9, still pretty good, right? But when I hit— I'm making these numbers up, but with some— you'll hear what I'm saying. Um, but when they were 7s, 7 out of 10, I would sometimes lose them. And why are they 7s? They're not talking, or they wouldn't be 7s, they'd be 2s. You know, they're just not giving me what I want. That's all they're not doing. They're paying attention, they're facing the stage, you don't hear anything, but they're just not giving me what I want. And I used to lose them because I'd get frustrated. And about 2 years ago, I go, I don't have to lose sevens. And I wanted to make sure it wasn't just a mantra. I don't have to lose sevens if I tighten it up and still be who I am. I don't have— I don't have to jeopardize who I am and be a different comedian to get them to like me. Just do what you like to do, but tighten it up. Like, you see a lot of guys do, like, great comedians, you know? And I got off stage on a Friday night after this theory, because I had this theory for like 6 months, but then when I went on the road, I got off stage Friday Late Show, and my friend was with me who I've told that theory to.

I'm not losing sevens anymore. And they were sevens. And I worked and I got them. And when I got off stage, I'm like, I'm glad they were sevens. He goes, so was I. I wanted to see. I go, that was hard. He goes, yeah, working hard is hard. And that's why you don't do it maybe, 'cause it's hard. It was hard to do a joke that I know is funny. And I know I'm there, but still, you know, just do your next one. Do your next one. Do your next one. So I've been enjoying that. I've been enjoying being tighter on stage. And, you know, I've met a lot of new comedians, which I love, you know, because of— there's a lot of new funny people out there. And, you know, the good side of social media to me, I'm not mad at social media. I'm not mad at TikTok. I'm not mad at Instagram. You know what I mean? Laddie, you gotta do it. You know, I— yeah, there's a lot of people posting crowd work. Crowd work. Uh, okay, that's not my favorite thing. I don't think it's— there's always been crowd work, but there's also a lot of funny comedians, even if it's not the majority of them, posting just their clips.

So because of that, I've like got to know a lot of funny people. I'm like, this guy's funny. I would direct message them. They always direct message you back, hey, thanks a lot. And then when next time you're doing a show in LA, you see them, you're like, hey, how you doing? I've, you know, so I have a lot of new comedian friends now. That are— some are 20, some are 30, and I'm in my glory right now, really enjoying, uh, stand-up comedy more than ever.

Community again though, right? Of a different form.

You know what, you're so right. And I was jokingly telling me, because see, I don't have kids, I'm not, I'm not in a relationship right now. And so a lot of your comedian friends that used to hang out with, they're busy. That's good, they're busy. They have other things on their mind. Back then when you hung out, that's all you So I was like, about 5 years ago, I go, my friends are boring. I'm kidding. But like, you know, it's 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock, they go, we're going to head home because, yeah, they have things they're working on and they have— I go, I need to make some new young comedian friends. So sort of slowly I did. And now when I want to hang out on a Saturday night, I have younger comedians that I can reach out to.

Well, you talk about social media the way that I've heard the analogy you've used about a knife, right? A knife can be dangerous or it can be a scalpel that a surgeon needs to perform surgery. So you're taking the good things that you want from social media.

You know, I sort of realized that if with that good analogy— I thought it was a good analogy, like, oh yeah, there's the bad side— it's not going to really change anybody's opinion. People have their opinions. It's sort of like a drug. The complacency is a drug. That's the way I look at it. So we think, well, how's it like a drug? Complacency. It's easier than changing. So even if I give a good analogy It's not going to make them go, wow, that's true. So with that said, I'll still say my— but, you know, social media, you know, the old days you just had to wait for someone to do something for you. Uh, so, you know, people that say they like that, yeah, maybe if you were the one that they found, but now you can just— you can do it by yourself. You can go right to the people and I lost my thought. I'm sorry.

Well, we were talking about the knife. We were talking about the good of it, that social media, that a knife can stab somebody and be dangerous, or you can take what you want from the knife and use it for surgery to heal somebody.

Right. And what I was going to say was, for me to prove that like TikTok or Instagram is a good outlet, I don't have to prove that there's not a lot of crap. That's not what I have to prove. I'll go ahead. Someone goes, 80% of it's crap. I go, yeah. But 80% of most things are not good. So then stop watching TV, then stop going to see documentaries, and stop seeing movies. We defend the vehicle for the 20% or whatever the numbers people want to give it that's brilliant. So yeah, there's a lot of crap on it, but there's, like I said, there's every vehicle has a lot of crap. But for the good, for the good of TikTok, for the brilliant funny— I mean, fucking funny sketches, you know. And then the kind things, the things that are sweet, the things that are kind, the things that make me put a smile on my face. So with a little bit of self-control, or maybe a lot of self-control, I can get the good out of social media. Yeah, there's the negative, but that's with everything. That's with everything. So I like it. I, I enjoy it.

When TikTok came around during the pandemic, I remember watching it. I'm a bit person. I love bits. And so I was like, I like this. And all— everybody else was making fun of it. And I go, I really like it. Cause for, for Twitter, it's more the word, you know? And I wasn't— I know I'm a comedian, but I didn't do, you know, I didn't do well. I did— wasn't my, wasn't my thing. But for that, for the bits, I love the bits. And, um, there's so many, there's so many funny things. So I really liked it a lot. I fell in love with it. I go, this is This is fun. I want to be a part of this.

It's the access that the 15-year-old you now has that isn't a comedy stage because it's, there's a lot of meritocracy there, right? What do, what if people can create their own things and just put them out into the world and it finds you and you, a comedian of 45 years, is then finding that funny. That's not an access that person had before to someone like you.

Right, right. And, and there's the good of that and, and there can be the bad of it. You know, I don't, but, but yeah, I'm all for like You know, I think comedy is good today. And the reason people think, oh, comedy or music was better back then, I'm not defying that. There was some great— are we allowed to curse? I don't have to. There was some great fucking music.

You've already cursed.

I know, I know. I don't want to over-curse.

You asked permission about 3 or 4 curses in. Let it fly.

Okay. That there's— you just have to, you know, I learned over the years when you read the comments, it's not a bad thing. You have to make your points clear and crisp. So I really try. I'm not defying that comedy was not great back then. There was brilliant comedy in the '50s. There was brilliant comedy in the '60s. There was brilliant comedy when Steve Allen— no offense— was saying, oh, what comedy was today, you know. I'm like, I'm not going to turn into that guy. He was like, oh, there's no good comedy. He was saying that in the '80s. Was there good comedy in the '80s? Can we all agree? Most people would go, yeah, there was great comedy, you know. But, um, there was also shitty comedy being done right next to it, you know. The— in the— in the '50s When there was '60s, '70s, whatever era music you like, yeah, there was great fucking music back then, but right next to it at the same time, there was crap. So when you don't have the time to go out and look through it, I do understand why an older person might go, comedy's not what it used to be.

I get it. But me saying to an older person, I get it, and here's the reason, isn't going to change. They've decided instead of dealing— this is my half-baked opinion— instead of saying death is scary and maybe I'm a little envious of youth, they've decided to deal with it by just saying, oh, at least 'At least I was born at a better time.' The reason you don't know that there's good music and good comedy is because you don't have the time to sift through it like you used to. So if you're going to go on to TikTok or go to a show— 'Oh, I'll go see what comedy is'— it would suck any era.

But I think you've got it right though when you say that 80% of anything is mediocre, and then the worst 10% are worse than it's ever been, and the best 10% are better than it's ever been, right?

And that still exists if you have the time to sift through it. I know there's brilliant comedy out there because I'm there. I'm invested. I'm out at those shows. I'm meeting young comedians. Comedy's in a great place.

So when you say, though, that this is the happiest version of you doing comedy that there's been, that's probably also, though, because you know yourself better than you ever have and are freer than you've ever been, right?

Exactly. Exactly. And I thought about that even the other day. I go like, when I do these, uh, like, you know, I call them like, you know, bar shows. They're not like an official comedy club. That's some— where a lot of the best comedy is a lot of times in New York and LA, these little niche little shows all over. Um, I also have more of a respect for audiences now, like we sort of touched on before. And I think I'm enjoying that. Like, when I go to these shows, I go up on stage maybe to say with something to prove. Even though I'm doing it for free and it's a 15-minute set, I go on stage, I want to like go boom, boom, boom, boom. And, um, and I'm enjoying the tightness and the respect to the— respect to audiences more than, uh, maybe I had before.

Where does your need to perform come from?

Well, it's fun to make people laugh, obviously, and it's really fun. And, um, yeah, feel that just feels great. And I'll be honest, with the music when I do the show with the music, uh, that's just fun. Such a tight show, you know. Truth be told, that show is so tight that I, I sort of get off flaunting how tight it is. I just love it. I know sometimes something will get a laugh and I'll ask somebody, like in the beginning, I go, why is that gonna laugh? They go, because it's so tight. And I understood as soon as they said it, but I didn't— I wasn't playing cutesy, you know. I was Yeah, it gets a laugh when I do that, you know. And, um, so the mixture of both is what I'm really enjoying.

Is that the most confident version of you though? The one that gets to strut a little bit on stage with the knowledge of, no, I've got 45 years of wisdom here on something that I've crafted. And so I know what it took in those 45 years to make this as efficient, uh, as it needs to be so that a 7 can turn into a 10 because I won.

Yes, yeah, that probably is. That's, that's probably everything. That's probably everything. And, uh, and I'm, I'm glad that I have a new respect. You know, I never had disrespect for audiences at all. I always loved— but I would get drunk sometimes and not do my best show and stuff like that. You know, there was some— there were not too many, but too, too many. One is too many where I would get so drunk that I would just I would just, you know, not remember the last 15 minutes of my show.

That drunk, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, disrespecting the craft because—

didn't think I was disrespecting the craft. I was just having fun. And then you get drunk and, you know, it didn't happen that often, but there was probably, if I had to put a number on it where it's just was probably like 10 times over the— so this isn't horrendous, but it's too many to have a bad show. That's fine if you're working your hardest. But, um, and you know, when I go to see other comedians, sometimes I will go to see another comedian. I went to see like, um, uh, Kate Berlant at Largo. Now granted, I didn't have to wait in line, but I still knew where I was going in the day, and I went in when the show started. I went into the theater and I sat there. I had to do certain things. I thought other people have babysitters. You have to park your car. Uh, I've gone to see, uh, you know, uh, a few comedians, you know, and it makes you realize, yeah, this is what people are doing when they come to see you. They, they're, they're, it's, some people are spending money they don't have. Some people are spending money they shouldn't be spending.

So just like, definitely in the last few years, that has been a priority of mine to like go up there and do you and be tight, be tight. Give them, give them like, you know, cause comedy, the great thing about standup comedy is my friend said this years ago, forget about a bad movie, a bad comedy movie. Forget about a bad comedy movie. The good ones. Even the good comedy movies, whatever year you want to go to, you don't get really as many laughs as you do for a stand-up comedian. I mean, it's just laugh after laugh. It's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Little bit of a break. Boom, boom, boom. Little bit of a break. Maybe boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So it's like, whoa, a well-rehearsed headlining comedian, even one that's never been on TV, and there's a ton of those guys out there that are just club comedians, but they're tight. And, um, that's, that's a— it's very powerful. It's fun to go see a stand-up comedy show. I see why they say—

I don't know what the scars of dyslexia were when you were— the way that you framed it, you were saying you were having trouble with learning and it didn't have a name back then because you, you didn't know that you were, uh, you know, having trouble with reading for a reason, that, that there was a diagnosis, that it's not—

there weren't that many jobs. I mean, I, I had a few little jobs that I could handle Doing the register, like, wasn't easy for me. I'm sure I, I used to just like, I don't know, I would make up numbers sometimes when I didn't know what it was, or if I added it up wrong, I would just call. But then I got by. But I couldn't do— there wasn't that much. I wanted to be a landscaper. I thought I could be a landscaper. And really, I never wanted— I wanted to be a landscaper that owned the company. Like, I would see a 50-year-old landscaper that by that point had employees and He showed up with a clean truck and sometimes he sat in there making, you know, with the air conditioning going for half an hour. I thought, oh, I could do that. But like, I don't want to work. I don't like the heat. I don't even like dirt. But I like the idea of that. I did like landscaping. I did like the art of landscaping. But when I thought about payroll, you know what I mean? I can't— what am I going to do?

So that's where it was like, What? I, and in hindsight, you learn my parents were worried too. They're like, cuz I did very poorly in school. I didn't even graduate high school. And, um, so comedy was something I could do, like I could get by. And even now, like remembering my act is a little hard. About 5 years ago, I started bringing a binder on stage. Now I'm not staring at it. It still feels conversational. I, I mention it and I tell the audience why. And I'll do 15 minutes of comedy while they're laughing. I get a drink, flip a page. It's very— it's not me going, oh, you know, I'm like, I know my set, but boy, am I enjoying. That's another reason it's made it so much better. And I even joke with the crowd. I go, folks, stand-up comedy is— I've been doing it a long time. It's still my favorite thing to do. But remembering my act, it wasn't my favorite part of it. Now it's just there. If I think of a tag for a joke, in the old days I'd have to go— and I'm not recommending every comedian does this, But it is an option.

Um, if I wanted to have a tag, I'd have to go, I gotta remember that tag. Maybe I'll put it on the stool on a napkin, right? Now I turn the page, 13 pages later, there it is in big black Sharpie. So it's nice. It's like, there it is. Are you sure you didn't forget anything? Because it's right there. And I'm calmer. I'm calmer on stage.

So anyway, I, I think it sounds like the— you were saying you affirmed on the most confident version of yourself. I was thinking while you were speaking, uh, I had a conversation with a friend of mine a long time ago who's sports broadcaster, and I was saying, I, with all of my insecurities, never ever want to be getting out of the limousine and walking down the red carpet amid the flashbulbs, but I'd like if my work could do it. I'd like if my work could get out of the car and go do it without me.

I think I know exactly what you're talking about.

When you're talking about boom boom boom and the confidence of swagging around on a stage with the knowledge that this is the best version of me. This is the most confident version of me. I've sculpted this and there's not an inefficiency in it. You're— the way you're describing that is reminding me of it as you say it. That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking about how all my neuroses can get in the way, but if I can sculpt a thing and then present it to people, that's the version of me that I'd like for them to see— my best work.

Yeah, you know, and again, I think when you said that, what I thought of was, even though— and I'm sure I'm not the only comedian that's like this, or anybody in the business— I don't like getting out. Like, if I'm getting dropped off at a club, I am nervous. I don't want to be dropped off when there's a line outside. I would like— I get panicky, like, from walking from the car to that. Or when I'm on stage, the most nerve-wracking is, for me, is walking to the stage. Well, like, for the ladies and gentlemen, talk less enough that I have to get to the mic. I'm like, oh, but once I'm doing it but that walk. So I don't know if that's at all what you're talking about.

No, it sounds— but it sounds like you can put on the costume once you get into the zone of being in the familiar place that you've been for 45 years. The, the, the rest of the human that is you that has his frailties can then zip up the confident costume and be the version of themself that is turned up from 9 to 10. Definitely. So you're performing as yourself, but it's just the loudest version of yourself.

Exactly. And that's better than it's ever been. That really is genuinely better than it's ever been, uh, you know, to see my show, to see my show now.

Well, I want to ask you about two what would appear to be seminal events in your life that would lead to you now being the most confident version of yourself. Um, the Marc Maron podcast that you did, uh, is widely regarded as one of the best he's ever done. Uh, you came out during that podcast. I imagine there's great freedom in that. And also at a little bit earlier than that. Is it earlier than that? You had a heart attack, right? Do I have my timeline right?

Hold on, I want to make sure I have it right. Uh, yes, I had the heart attack, and then I remember saying, if I died— I thought this the next morning— I go, if I died, I think people would have said I was a good comedian. I'd be confident, I think. But they would have said affectionately It's a shame he was never comfortable enough. So I thought, I'm going to come out right away. I'm not waiting. Of course, it took 2 more years, but it gave me the kick in the ass to do it. And then I did the Mark— and then I did that show. I just thought, I can't do this any longer. You know, it's not— I don't want to force— it's word foreshadowing and putting emotion that wasn't there. To be honest, you're numb to it. The lie worked. It wasn't exhausting every day. I had a good life. I enjoyed life. But until you exhale, you don't know. Yeah, you really weren't doing your best. And when I got in that car, you know, because I told, I told my friend Kevin, he's a therapist and he's been a good friend of mine for a long time.

I said, Kevin, don't let me out of this. I have to do it. And I told him my plan that I thought I'd go on Marc Maron because I wanted to do it on a big platform. I had a podcast at the time, but I want to do it on a big platform. I feel I have something to say and That way I don't have to say it a million times, you know. I can just say it to my friends in Philly, to my— everybody. Okay, this is, you know. And, um, I called Mark. I didn't even know if he'd want to do it. I said, Mark, I don't know if this is something you do. But he had done delicate shows like that before. And he called me back the next— that night. And I let it go to— did I have myself? Yeah, my cell phone. Then I let it go to voice. I was so scared. And then I called my friend Kevin. I go, Kevin, uh, he called me. He was Todd. Call him back. You might just have to do this before you're ready, which were pretty powerful words. And I called him back, and then we set the appointment.

We went, and, you know, I'm, I'm telling, you know, the, the short version of it, but I do remember getting in the car at the end after doing that. He did a great job. He did a really great job. A+. I mean, he— I, I'm glad I picked him to do it, but I got in the car There's not that many times in my life that I've done this. There's been a few, but not that many. I, I just, I fell apart. Just because I was exhausted, because it felt so good. It felt so good. And it wasn't long, probably 25 seconds, 25 seconds. And, uh, and then I started up my car and I was like, and, and when I left, he goes, Do you want to, uh, if you don't want to drop this, then you tell me. You're not locked into dropping it just because we recorded it. And I went, Mark, please drop it. I waited long enough. And of course, Mel, you know, I heard everyone say, oh, it's going to get better, you're going to enjoy your life better. But I remember thinking, not me. I thought I didn't want to be known for being a gay comedian, you know.

I just wanted to be a comedian, of course, that is gay. And my manager He said some pretty good words of wisdom. He goes, Todd, you're not— it's not going to be your identity because it's not the most interesting thing about you. And that really stuck with me. It gave me like— sometimes people give you little words of wisdom, but it doesn't really help, you know. That helped. I was like, oh, it won't be. It's not the most interesting thing about me. And, um, so I was glad I did it. I mean, the exhale was just, oh. And then things on stage I could talk about now, you know.

Well, what was happening in the car though, in those 25 seconds? Take us there.

Uh, just realizing that you were holding in a lot, you know, you get comfortable in the lie, you get comfortable in the lie. How many people knew? I mean, and then some, like, just, I mean, that I can laugh at, pathetic, you know, I mean, you can laugh at yourself for being pathetic. Like, We, we— I had a duplex and these two girls lived above me, and me and my— I was then in a relationship. This just shows you the little things that build up the stupidness of, you know, getting comfortable in the lie. And, um, I'd have friends coming in from out of town, and at that time I was dating somebody, and he was— I was like 32, he was like 23, so he still had friends from college, and, you know, and, um, I, you know, I was 32, so And then we would go upstairs and go, Andrea, please, we have friends coming in, just come downstairs for 15 minutes. 15. Because if they came in, hey, and they were coming in from out of town and they walked in, there was a girl there that was like, yeah, we all live here, they live upstairs.

It's like a big community here. We're not, you know. And then, but then you think like, well, really? I remember once we had, there was a package, an erroneous package, and it was after 9/11, so that had something to do with it. And the police knocked on our door at 3 in the morning, like 3 in the morning, because this package was at the neighbor's door. And they were, you know, they— and they, uh, I remember I go, Chris, something like, you know, I was half asleep. I go, the fire department's out front, because the fire department was there too. We went into the room that we didn't use and we messed up the bed. Now we knew, we went— everything calmed down, we laughed at ourselves. But that type of stuff, what type of life is that? And by the way, hiding your sexuality is not the only thing that people hide, you know. There's other things people hide, and hiding stuff isn't fun. It could be— it could be something that happened, anything, a million things. I don't have to list them. People—

well, you're all— but you're always scared that, that someone's going to find out. That's not a free way to live. Yeah, obviously.

That's why, again, talking about growth, you know, I know I, I don't And that's why I don't want to, you know, that's why I'm not mad at the landscape of today of how what's going on as far as how people identify and what people want to be called and they don't want to be into these little— I'm not mad at that. I'll take part in that. You know what I mean? I will, even outside of being gay, like I remember once, this is about a year ago, my friend, I don't know why she thought I relate with her. We're not even talking about people transitioning, and by the way, I'm okay with that too. What I mean is, if we take that off the plate, that could be a little more confusing for some people to understand. Just the them and the their. And my friend, she goes, she was like having a problem with it. I go, why isn't— I go, you know, can't you be a straight white woman and still join whatever you want to call it, a revolution of these, you know, these boxes. That sounds so cliché, but it's true.

It's like, isn't there anything you could— can't you join in? Instead of accepting it, can't you join it? Isn't there anything you could think of? I'll give her credit, she goes, no, but that's embarrassing to me. It should be embarrassing. I go, well, it means you're not tapping in, because at least you're smart enough to know that yes, you should be able— there should be something for anybody. So I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying— that's why people, you know, oh, I want to go back to the way it used to be. And I'm not even talking about who our president is. Like, you can go back to 2015, all this shit still existed of back then, back then. I'm living my best life now. And with all the garbage in the world and all the problems in the world, I always say to somebody— I don't know why I say this, but this is the term I go— if you had a gay daughter, what year would you want her to have to live on this planet? Because it bypasses the argument that's on the plate of that someone's full of shit. Unless someone's full of shit and they don't— when they don't want to change their opinion, they're going to pause.

Who's— what year are you going to say? Come on, unless you're full of shit, what year do you want your gay daughter to have to live on this planet? That doesn't mean it has to be perfect now because it's fucking not, but what year do you want her to be here? Back then? So when you say it was better back then, you sure you're including everybody? You sure you're including everybody? So I'm not mad at change. I like it, I embrace it, I love it, and I'm glad I'm a part of I'm really glad I'm a part of it.

You mentioned a couple of things, though. You said the word Andrea, and that is what you said to Sarah Silverman when you're having your heart attack. You're backstage, and you also mentioned the idea that while you're having a heart attack, one of your first thoughts is the clarity of, I can't live with this lie. I can't die with this being— the punctuation is, I've just lived a lie the entire time.

Yeah. I mean, I was having a heart attack, but I was thinking— they were carrying me out of Largo, and I'm yelling to Sarah, because she knew about me, I'd come out to her, and I yell out to Sarah, "Call my girlfriend!" while I'm having a heart attack.

Andrea. That's the name that triggered it for me.

Call Andrea. Andrea. I go, "Call Andrea!" But it wasn't Andrea, you know, even though my partner had an ambiguous name, Chris, so I could have just said, "Call Chris." But, you know, I said, call Andrea. And she's like, oh, I go, I'm having a heart attack, you know, and I'm worried about that. And, um, and also remember, this is just another moment when I was like, just hit me, you know. My ex came into the hospital and he just must have picked a flower off of a tree, you know, just got a flower and he came in and he just shoved it under my pillow. Real quick so no one would see. And I knew, I knew that that wasn't— I was like, ugh, you know? And then when I got out of there, I literally— it sounds so like, you know, like, you know, you're writing this, but it's not the way it happened. Forget about birds chirping, jackhammers. When they took me out of the hospital 3 days later and I was getting into the car, I heard jackhammers and horns, and I was like, holy shit, this all sounds so beautiful. You know.

But yeah, that, that, uh, that was— I'm glad that I didn't do the rest of my life. I mean, my plan, I wanted to— I had a book, it was called The Todd Glass Situation, because that's what I would call— I would go like, my friends that knew, I would be like, no, his mom doesn't know our situation. He goes, is that what you call what you are? You're in a situation? Um, and I wanted to call the book instead of that, I wanted to call it Well, I'll tell you the story. I met a guy, we both bonded, we're both in the closet, probably about 24 years old, and I said, you know what I wanted to do? Like, if I could meet a girl— this is desperation, you know— I go, if I could meet a girl that had cancer and then she died, it would answer all my problems, you know? You don't think, what about this girl that you're in love with? Even if you don't want to marry her, you still— it's a human being that you might have love for. And then the rest of my life people go, ta, whatever.

Yeah, Todd, he never got over Rachel, you know. So I wanted to call the book, which I still think I probably should have, but Simon Schuster was so nice, I didn't want to— I wanted to call it All I Ever Wanted to Meet Was a Nice Girl with Cancer. And then just to make it understandable, the subtitle would be And Other Stupid Things I Said to Keep the Closet Door Shut. So people would go, okay, there's something here, right? That was the deal.

It's a good name for a book.

'All I Ever Wanted to Do Was Meet a Nice Girl with Cancer.' And then I remember even saying— and of course anybody would know that it wasn't making fun of cancer, it had nothing to do— it wasn't disrespectful to anyone going through that plight, which I've gone through with a family member. So I go, 'What about All I Ever Wanted to Do Was Meet a Nice Girl with a Terminal Disease?' And other stupid things I said to keep the closet door shut. But they, they didn't want to do it. But I thought that would be more of an intriguing title, and I might be right.

Uh, take us though back to why it is that in the moment that you're having a heart attack, this is what's making itself present. That seems pretty torturous to not take inventory of life and death circumstances in a way that, uh, make you totally introspective about this one thing that isn't the most interesting thing about you, but it's with you there on what could be the equivalent of your deathbed.

If I don't answer this, don't be afraid to tilt me towards answering it, because I think this is— well, I think it was like in that moment of having a heart attack, I needed to keep this lie. That's all I was thinking about at that point was just keeping the lie. I couldn't give it up. I couldn't say like, you know, just blurt out, call my boyfriend, you know. So it's just keeping the lies. All I cared about was keeping the lie. I couldn't want anyone to know. I was going to go to my death with it. Matter of fact, if I would meet somebody that I really liked— this is back when I'm 22 or 23, I didn't meet that many people, but I would— and then they would go, 'Do my parents know?' You know, he would say, 'Oh, my parents know, they're cool about it.' I feel horrible about this. There's some people I wish I could reach out to now, years later, and go, 'I am sorry.' But just because he was open to his parents, I went, 'Nope, I'm done. I'm done. I don't want to be with this person.

I don't want to hang out with this person. I need someone like me that's in the closet.' So I probably did that a few times to people, and now I feel so, feel so bad. You know, I'll just think of somebody like, wow, remember that guy? You know, all he did was tell me his mom and dad were cool about him being gay, and I'm like, oh no, I can't have that.

Well, it's informative though, that's, that you're, you're just scared.

Yeah, yeah.

Like the priority is to not be scared.

The priority was just to just go to my death with it, just go to my death with it, which, ugh. God, it would have been— it wouldn't have been fun. And you know, now that I don't talk about being gay on stage all the time, probably about 60% of the time I don't mention it. And I wanted to make sure that I'm not— because in the beginning I wouldn't talk about it if it was a tough crowd. I thought, great, they're a tough crowd, then I'm going to say I'm gay. Maybe 25% of them— which is not being negative, it's being realistic— probably even today's audience is a lot better than it used to be, but still there's 20% being like, what, this Okay, um, so I wouldn't talk about it if they were a tougher crowd. Now I just don't always have a lot to talk about it, but I want to make sure I'm not doing it because I'm embarrassed. So I started— I did it accidentally once, and I was so proud of myself. I just said in a story that didn't need to be— I was like, the joke was, you know, you're in a relationship and somebody's like, you know, you know, you say, I'll, I'll, I'll cook, you'll clean.

And he would go, oh, clean in the morning. I go, "Oh good, I'll cook in the morning." But the "he," just "he," is just saying, "Oh yeah," and then maybe someone goes, "Oh, okay," and that's story. Now there's other stories you need— it's about the act of being gay or coming out. Some of them are just relationship jokes. You don't need to preface it as being, you know, as being, you know, gay, or "by the way, I'm gay," before you just throw out the word "him." But I bet 25 years ago You had to do that. You couldn't just go on stage and talk about your boyfriend.

You requested that I pull you back to the story.

Yes.

So I'm going to do that.

Okay.

You're having the heart attack and you still have to protect the lie, but somewhere inside of the heart attack, you've also got the clarity, I cannot have this lie remain. You said it took 2 years after that before you did it, but somewhere inside the having of the heart attack, you went full spectrum from I've gotta protect the lie to I can no longer lie this way. What happened in there?

That's a good question. I know the answer. We'll be back right after this. It was— look, this is still going on, so I don't want to ever make it sound like, oh, it was going on. But on social media, there was a lot of kids that were— you were hearing the stories about them killing themselves. And it's, you know, it shreds, shreds you, you know. And I thought, by me being in the closet, I'm not helping the situation. Whether it's fear or not, it's not helping. Even if I don't put any pressure Even if I don't hate myself for it, it's still not helping. And you would just hear story after story, and I was sort of giving it validity that hiding it is the right thing to do. Or not, not that they would know, but so when I would see these stories, I would go, I got— I can't do this. I gotta be on the good side of helping, you know, younger people. And the people would see there's all types of gay people, young kids, you know, there's all types.

But you're feeling all that in the— in while the having of the heart attack is happening, the The heart attack—

well, no, then I just thought, I'm coming out. But then I got scared because I returned to regular life, you know.

Oh, so you lost the perspective.

I lost the perspective.

Once you get your life back, whatever the prayers were to God on all the things you were going to do, they, they— yeah, disappear a little bit.

I remember thinking, oh no, I knew this is done, this is done. I'm not living like this anymore. Even though it wasn't, you know, as stressful as I thought it was, but it still was. I knew it existed. I knew it wasn't fun. The lies, the just lie after lie. You get— there's so many lies. And, and, you know, you can't say, you know, you're having a— I'm having a little argument with my, with my, uh, in my, in my relationship with my boyfriend. You just— I would have to make up things because I would have to tell someone the state of mind I'm in. So I would get to the comedy club at night and go, now I just got— it's no big deal, but I got into a little argument with my sister-in-law or my mom or my to someone that I love, you know? And that was like, you know, I thought this is ending, but then yet after that it took another 2 years.

How would you go about articulating the freedom of the last, you know, all the years since then? Because now you can be a more authentic version of yourself that isn't disguised in lies.

How would I what?

How is it that you arrive over the last 7 years at the— what does the freedom feel like? Feel like? How would you articulate the freedom of, I no longer have to live that way, therefore I'm now— I'm just freer. I'm more— the more authentic version of myself.

Yeah, I'm aware of it still. It's, it's, it's not grown numb on me. Uh, sometimes it could be as simple as, you know, that something happened yesterday. There's a guy at the gym, he, he's into my comedy. I don't know if he knows or not. And I was— it's sort of another story where it just came out, but I say sideways. It wasn't like, hey, by the way, But I was telling him a story about, you know, and I go, yeah, so, uh, yeah. And then he— I was talking about my— at first he wouldn't know what it was. I was like, yeah, I was in a relationship. And, and then he— and I went, wow, you were able to do that. You're able to just— so there's a lot of times now where I'm still aware to even say the word gay. Well, that was tough for a long time. Even after I came out, I didn't really like the word gay. 'cause I had heard it used as a negative so much. You know, and you know what, I'll go and I'm gonna preach real quick 'cause you never know whose ear you're gonna get in and maybe this will be the one thing.

When people say, "No, no, it doesn't mean when I use the word gay as a pejorative," is that the right word? "That's gay, this is gay." People go, "No, it doesn't mean that. It doesn't mean that. It took on a new meaning." No, it does mean that. You're not saying, "Well, what do you mean? When you mean gay, do you mean beautiful and charming and loving?" No, you mean stupid. So it does mean gay. It means like gay people, they're weird, they're different, they're quirky, you don't like them. So when you go, it took on a new meaning and you're describing things you don't like, it didn't. It connects to it. So like when I, when I say that, like you do whatever you want, but at least, at least be honest with yourself. Don't try to, took on a new meaning. No, it didn't.

So anyway, uh, but yeah, on, on that point though, Shane Gillis gets away with it now because of that, correct? Because of 'Well, it doesn't mean that.' 'Yes, it does mean that, but we're not arguing about that anymore. It's allowed again.

It's allowed over there.' You know, sometimes you try to get people to stop certain behavior. I don't want— by the way, I always say this— I don't want any comedian to stop behavior because they have to, because that— it's, it's not good. It's not good. That's what's great about comedy. You do whatever you want. End of story. But you can do it willingly, you know what I mean? You don't have to— and sometimes when you try to socially get somebody to stop something, you know, it's not good socially. Like, as we grow, as we're older, we don't always grow begrudgingly. Not all growth is done angrily. Some people go to family counseling and some don't like it, and they don't like it till they die. Others go— maybe they're telling a story, uh, we went, I didn't like it at first, but oh my God, My relationship with my kids is so much better. They're not angry at it. They're like, now I gotta do this, now I gotta do that. No, they're like, no, no, it's a better life. So the changes that I've made are better. Comedians should only make them when they want to.

But sometimes when you're trying to get someone by not telling them, they should be forced to stop it by maybe educating them, learning. And trailing right behind that is it's just hack. You know, comedy, you have to push boundaries and they probably like that. But yes, yeah. But you're pushing boundaries that have been fucking pushed. So even if you don't stop it, because it's not great, those words, they're not, you know, uh, you're pushing boundaries that have been pushed. If you're saying that boundaries have to be pushed, you're fucking right. That's comedy. You have to push boundaries. But try to push boundaries that haven't been pushed and pushed and pushed. What do you do? What words are you using now? These are words. We've pushed those boundaries, you know.

And, um, so So anyway, I'm smiling only because it legitimately sounds like you're more offended— the comedian in you is more offended by the hackery than the gay guy is offended by the hatefulness.

Well, it flips eventually. It's like eventually you're trying to socially— you're going, yeah, it brings up more like, come on, don't— and also they try to make it like you're offended. I'm not offended. If anything, I'm criticizing you. I'm critic— and by the way, I don't want to say, oh, I don't get offended. I do get offended. I'm sensitive. I cry very easily, but I know in my life when I'm offended and when I'm not. It's like, to me, the analogy I give, if you told someone like, hey, they're adding up their bill and you go, uh, oh, by the way, that's, uh, you added that wrong, it's 18, not 19. You're helping them and they go, oh, did I offend you? You go, no, I'm fucking helping you. That's how I feel. I'm confident enough to go, I'm not offended at these words you're using. They always make it look like we're always a delicate butterfly, people that don't like these words. But all I will say is, yes, boundaries need to be pushed. And also sometimes when I explain, like some new friend or a friend of someone I'm dating and they see my comedy, they thought it was gonna be vanilla because I'm saying, oh, you can be crass.

You can be, ah, crass comedy. It's my favorite type of comedy. You can be crass. You can be vulgar without picking on these groups that have been, they've been picked on. Like I'm saying, even if you don't stop it socially, just stop it. 'Cause this, You know, it's been done. To me, I like that. It gets me angry, and also because I imagine someone listening to this that's doing that, and maybe that'll stick in their gut. But maybe they'll go, he's not— I want someone else in the room. I'm saying it. No, no, no, he's not saying he's hurt. He's saying you're a hack.

The thing that you're doing again and again that's funny is that you're not actually, uh, never mind sermonizing, you're not saying be a better human being. You're saying be a better comedian.

Well, at least be a better comedian, you know, because if you're not a better comedian, you know, I realize if you don't grow offstage, you don't really grow onstage. And when I look at comedians that are having a difficult time with change in the world, I realize something. It's a little detective work. I call it— to figure out social issues, sometimes you have to have— I call it therapist slash detective work. And the therapist is, remember to listen, Todd, remember to listen. And the detective is— there's a reason detective They figure things out because it's not what it is at the surface. When I see someone that's mad at some of these things today, I go, you're not okay with some of the things from 25 years ago. You show me someone that's having trouble with them or their— I don't think they're probably— we're okay with gay marriage or gay people. Now I know you might go, really? I think I'm pretty right. They might not argue about it anymore, but the reason you see comedians getting angrier and angrier is because they didn't drop the verbiage willingly. They didn't drop it— I'm not— I wasn't a bad person.

I used to use some words. I wasn't a horrible person, nor am I insinuating they are. There's a lot of behavior I used to do. I wasn't despicable, far from it. I was always a pretty good person, I'd like to believe. But that doesn't mean I can't grow and go, oh, I don't use that word anymore willingly. So when you see somebody— I say comedian, a person— angry at some of the things that, you know, we're not doing we change, you know. That's because they're not okay with the old things. I'm not angry. There's nothing in my act that I took out because I had to. I just grew. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to do that. So the, the anger builds from one more thing they not willingly changed, but they had to. Maybe because a sponsor, maybe because the public is like, come on, man, you know. You know, the words of today, we can argue, but go back and look at other words that we argued to get off the chopping block. They don't get prettier. Some of them I can't even say because they get grosser and grosser and angrier and angrier and uglier.

What is your relationship with anger? Because your angry characters and character, they're all very good. Like you, when you turn it up to 10 on your angry people, I— let me, before I invite one of them onto the program, because I'd like to punctuate the podcast by talking to your angriest character, what is your relationship with anger?

Well, I definitely have an angry side, but I'd like to believe it's for the right thing, you know what I mean? Like, you might— well, who's decide what it's right? Well, history. History, you know, if you're— if it's—

if it's—

let's say it's 19— any year, I don't— sometimes my story can get in the way because I have the wrong year. Let's say it's 1977 and you have a bit about really laying in the people that don't think 'Black people should marry white people.' You know, you have a story happening and you're telling, you know, 'The fuck?' And you're, 'What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Two people love each other? The fuck? Go, go fuck yourself!' You know, just because it's a bit where you're angry in it. Well, 30 years later, you wouldn't say, 'Look at this comedian, he's so angry.' Well, he was— yes, he's, he's yelling, but he's angry about— so I hope that my anger is at least for the right thing, and only time will tell that. So I do have an angry side, but I hope I'm using my anger because when someone says you shouldn't do comedy that offends people, I always want to go, oh no, no, I don't think that's true. Sometimes good comedy offends people. Who are you offending? And will history go, yeah, you were offending the right people, you know? So I do, I can get, I do have an angry, I do have a very angry side.

It's usually not at other people in my life. It's usually at me. But I do have a—

It's at yourself. You get your most unforgiving with yourself.

When I, you know, my anger used to come from like numbers were hard for me, balancing finances and stuff when it would mess up, or I would get a call from the mortgage company and I'd be like, your mortgage— I would get like so— I threw phones. That I've, I don't even want to say gotten better at. It's almost non-existent anymore. But yeah, I do have a— when you say I have an angry side, did you see it in other videos?

The character— the character— when— what, just now when you were summoning the person that you were speaking who was angry, the per— the character was no longer you. You were somebody else.

Because you know what, I don't— I'd like to believe it's not that we're disagreeing. You know, people forget, you can— I can find bullshit in your opinion. You know, it's not like you go, I like blue, and I'm like, you shouldn't like blue. No, that's crazy. But so they hide behind that, like, that can— I can find bullshit in your own opinions. Not— you have to have follow-through with your opinions. I find— I get, I get more angry at the bullshit, at the bullshit in regular people in life and comedians. Um, you know, and I always say, like, I know this seems cocky, but a lot of people are fed up with what they call the cancel culture, you know. And I know, and everyone has their opinion on it. I give mine. I'll be honest, I try to squeeze it into every interview I do. As I'm doing right now. But why? Because I'm not the— I'm not the majority. The majority of people are fed up with it. They got fed up with cancel culture. I'm fed up. You can't say anything anymore. I'm fed up. The majority— I'm giving this, it's not even my opinion, but I'm smart enough to go, no, no, no, no, the majority of the people in the world are fed up with it.

And this is the cocky part, that's how you pretty much know it's not right. The majority of the people have always been wrong. It's just the way it is. It's the way life is. Go back. Now, this is when I go, do you mind being wrong? Sometimes when I start arguing with someone, I want to go, do you mind being wrong? Be honest with me. I know it's a hard thought. Maybe we'll bring it up. Let's talk. Think about it. Sleep on it. Because you're not going to want to go, yeah, I don't want to be wrong. I'll lie my way out. Be honest. Because that's a good point. If you go back and go, not even socially, like I have a joke in my act about this. People didn't want to pick up their dog shit. That's not even a social thing. People didn't want non-smoking at the stadium, and when it got to the stadium, that's when it got too far. You know what I mean? There's always people that have that too far list in every category. There's a too far list. What women wanted, now it's too far. What, what, uh, what, what any groups of people wanted, smoking has the— now it's too far.

No smoking in the stadium, people are like, this is fucking ridiculous now, this is bullshit. Picking up your dog shit, I lived it. My uncle, he goes, now you got to pick up your dog shit. He was angry, but would we agree now, 30 years later, he was wrong? You could go, well, there's no right and there's no wrong.

Okay, really?

So someone that goes, only stupid people pick up their dog shit. People that are well-minded like me— let me pretend it's my uncle talking back 30 years ago— you know, a normal person doesn't have their dog shit on someone's lawn and then pick it up. What do you do if you're normal and well-grounded? You leave it there. 30 years later, was my uncle right or wrong? So there's always been the majority of the people didn't want to stop drinking and driving. The majority of people didn't want to pick up their dog shit. The majority of the people don't like change. But 40 years later, if you look at all those groups and what they wanted, nothing is too far. What did women want 40 years ago that now you look back and go, well, they were right on this and they were right on that, but they were wrong on that? What did any group want that you look back 40 years later and you go, you're like, oh There's nothing too far, was it? So when the issues on the table today, when people go, oh, that's too far, I'm an open-minded person, but now it's too far— well, history shows you're probably fucking wrong.

You nailed the dismount. Uh, ToddGlass.com is where you go if you want any more information, uh, on tickets, tour dates.

When's this drop?

I think ToddGlass.com— it's an excellent question. I get to ask the questions around here, you give the answers, and I only do that because I don't know the answer, but soon Are you looking forward to it? You're already looking forward to it?

Yeah, this was an enjoyable talk for me.

Uh, thank you. Likewise.

Thank you.