Transcript of Matthew Berry Has NEVER Hit The Stanky Legg | Hour 2

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There is nothing casual about football season. You can tell yourself you're just gonna watch one game, and 6 hours later, you're emotionally invested in a 4th quarter between 2 teams you don't even care about. That's what I love about this time of year. The entire weekend becomes football. You're texting friends, tracking games, second-guessing coaches, convincing yourself you saw something before everybody else did. And then Monday comes around and you get to do the whole thing again. Those are the weekends you remember. And for me, some of the best ones have usually involved some good people, a great game, and a cold Miller Lite. No matter what triumphs are in store this season, legendary game days start with Miller Lite. Cold, crisp, refreshing, that clean finish. And it's part of plenty of memorable football weekends. Make game day legendary. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Game time is Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

You're listening to the Dan Le Batard Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports app, now live in over It's really not that big a deal, Tony.

All right, we've all been to shows that we're not proud of.

I've never been to a Dave Matthews Band concert ever.

It's okay, dude.

Mike's gotta live.

I—

so do I. I've never— I mean, you— again, you would see me dead there and you'd be like, that can't be Tony.

He's so like anti-this that I feel like he's secretly like, oh, I love Dave Matthews. It's starting to make me feel that way.

No, no, my, my in-laws No, I don't even know what that means.

I didn't want to go see Cher, but I was there. Like, I got dragged to a Cher concert.

Tony, you have thong sandals.

It's fine. I've never put on thong sandals in my life.

Do they have bottle openers on the bottom? At the concerts, yeah.

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Matthew Berry.

Matthew Berry.

Matthew Berry.

Matthew Perry!

What's up, party people? Over the past 5 weeks, CJ Stroud is the 6th best quarterback in fantasy football for the season. He's actually 4th in passing yards per game. He's top 10 in pass attempts. The Texans, by the way, 25th in rushing offense. They can't run the ball. Their defense isn't as good. Stroud is a viable QB1 streamer in the right matchup. So far this season, Bo Nix Has an average depth of target of 5.4 yards. That's not a typo, 5.4 yards. In fact, over the last 2 games, Nix has completed literally 4— count them— 4 passes that traveled just 7 air yards or more. There's just, there's just no way this offense can be fantasy productive as long as Bo Nix is throwing it this short. Hey, by the way, in Week 6, Mike Washington saw a season-high 33% snap rate. He had only 1 fewer rush attempt than Ashton Gentry. Gente's not been held to under 3 yards per carry in 4 of the past 5 games. His 2 lowest snap rates of the season came in the last 2 weeks. Maybe Gente's not fully healthy, maybe it's a timeshare, but I'm just saying he's not efficient.

Mike Washington has been. He needs to be rostered in more leagues. In the 3 full games that Jalen Coker and Tedarrelle McMillan have played together this season, Coker has 4 more targets than McMillan. He scored 24 more fantasy points. And if you go back to last year and you include the playoffs, Jalen Coker has now outscored Tedderow and McMillan in 7 of the last 9 games they've played together. In his first game back from IR last week, Omar Cooper, 24% target share. That was the team high of the Jets. He ran 85% of the routes. He's still available in over 50% of the leagues. He shouldn't be. In his Texans debut, Marvin Harrison Jr. played literally only 11 offensive snaps, right? Only 11 offensive snaps. However, He ran, and he ran just 9 routes. However, he was targeted on 44% of those routes, and his 12.5% target share with the Texans was actually his highest in any game this season. He wasn't out there very much, but they made a point of getting him the ball when he was out there. In Week 6, Brian Thomas Jr. had a 30% route rate. He played just 15 offensive snaps, including 0 in the second half.

In the last 4 games, his target share is 6%.

6%!

If you haven't already done so, you can go ahead and drop Brian Thomas Jr. In weeks 2 and 3, when Puka Nacua was out, the Rams led the NFL with a 37% tight end target share. Davante Adams now expected to miss 6 to 10 weeks. Oh, by the way, Puka Nacua left, uh, practice yesterday with an injury. So look for the Rams once again to rely heavily on tight ends. I prefer Tyler Higbee to Colby Parkinson, but Terrence Ferguson has the most upside once he returns. From IR guys.

Matthew, we're in Week 7 now, so halfway point in the fantasy regular season. You kind of know what your fantasy team is, but do you have any— you have any sell-high candidates maybe you can get good value for? You don't think these guys are going to keep up the pace?

Yeah, I mean, I think J.K. Dobbins, you know, who scored in each of the last 2 weeks, I think he's sort of interesting to try to get something for, especially if he ends up scoring this week. Jonah Coleman, is coming back. Jonah Coleman is their best running back. And I don't think, candidly, I don't think it's all that close. And so I think, you know, you heard me talk about the Bo Nix stats that I just said earlier, like this offense needs something. It's struggling. And I know they really like Jonah Coleman. And so I've said this in the preseason, I say it again, by the, by the end of the year, and I think over the second half of the season, Jonah Coleman's going to be the Broncos running back you want. And so while there's still some value here with, with J.K. Dobbins, That's somebody that I think is pretty interesting to try to, try to get something for.

Jonah Coleman, a member of the Kool Kats spelled with 2 Ks. I picked him up several weeks ago.

Nice.

Matthew, it occurs to me that the NFC North isn't just the best fantasy division in 2026. It's in the running, maybe off the top of my head, for the greatest division in fantasy history. Do you think that that's the case? That between Jahmyr Gibbs and the collection of QBs and otherwise that, uh, the NFC North 2026 might outscore any fantasy division in history?

Yeah, I think, I think it's probably a good call there, Dave. Uh, 2 reasons. Number one is obviously you've got 4, um, 4 offenses that are running really, really hot. And I think the Vikings out of the bye, I think Kyler will get a little bit more acclimated to KOC's offense as well. So I think all 4 offenses operating at a very high level. And then you also just think about the NFL these days, right? It just, you know, you breathe on somebody and it's pass interference. It's just, I feel like the league has more and more trended towards offensive scoring. Honestly, I think somewhat influenced by fantasy football. Just, you know, like they want higher ratings, they want more highlights. They, you know, the, you know, some of the stuff that people got away with in the '70s, '80s, even 10 years ago, you couldn't get away with today. So the game is geared more towards offense as well. So. I think for those 2 reasons, I agree with you.

TMR, we've seen a resuscitation, a defibrillator if you will, for Colson Loveland and for Luther Burden. Anybody else on the horizon that we can look out and say, all right, their time is now?

Well, we just sort of talked about them in terms of, you know, I like people that I think— listen, I just mentioned Omar Cooper. Um, I do think in, in terms of like, you, you're saying like on the Bears necessarily?

No, not on the Bears. I'm saying in general, like there's been a lot of people that have been down this year that haven't really had the fantasy production that we thought they were going to have at the beginning of the year, like Colson Loveland, like Luther Burden. And all of a sudden now they've been resuscitated. So I'm looking across the, the league and I'm like, man, who's that next crop of guys that's maybe have, have underachieved?

A Blake Corum maybe?

No, come on.

Okay.

I don't think it's necessarily Blake Corum, but I mean, like, listen, George Pickens has been pretty quiet this year. He's had the the one big week. I think, I think obviously, uh, Pickens, Pickens will get there, uh, as well. I, I realize that the Chargers have been just an absolute disaster, but I, I am still a believer in Ladd McConkey. I'm not a believer in the running game anymore. I've bailed on that. But I still believe that ultimately Ladd McConkey, uh, will turn it around. We haven't seen, um, uh, you know, you mentioned, you mentioned Loveland there in terms of, uh, in terms of tight ends. I still think Tucker Kraft hasn't really turned it on yet either, and I think he will. I just, I like how that Packers offense is rolling and Jordan Love's looking good. And I think with Josh Jacobs returning, or in theory returning, teams won't be able to defend the pass as well. And I mean, they've been such a pass funnel. So I actually think Tucker Kraft is due for a big second half as he continues to get healthier and healthier.

Got an important question for you. My life may depend on it. Matthew, all right, are you a Dave Matthews Band guy?

Uh, I'm not anti-Dave Matthews. Um, and I understand this may mean that I'm not— listen, hey, hang on, I've never been—

Am I alive or dead?

Hang on, I was listening before I joined. I've never been to a Dave Matthews concert.

Oh, I'm dead.

Um, I realize this means I probably won't make your top 25, you know, uh, list. I'm, you know, I probably dropped out of others receiving votes as well. But I'm not anti-Dave Matthews, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not— if you said you want to go to a Dave Matthews show, I'm not like, nah, no thank you. I'd go. But I'm not, you know, I'm not a crazy Dave Matthews fan. No. And I know there are many that are, that travel, that follow him, that he's got an insane following. I'm well aware of it. But no, I'm— I wouldn't call myself a Dave Matthews guy.

Like, hey, Mike's dead.

Mike's dead.

Like, Matthew, it's weird that Tony won't admit that he had been dragged to a Dave I've never been to a Dave Matthews show.

You have a— we have a photo of you with him.

Okay.

I didn't even know that was him.

You just killed Mike.

Right. Sorry. Sorry. Well, maybe not, actually. You know, like, you sit there and you look at the Dan Le Batard Reddit, and honestly, I may have done the team a favor, you know? So there you go.

Finally, before we let Matthew Berry go, we have to ask you, I'm sure you saw the postgame celebration.

Do you own thong sandals?

In the Bears locker room yesterday.

Thong sandals.

When is the last time Matthew Berry has done the stanky leg?

How about never? How about never? You know what? Like, there's a lot of— there's a lot of things that I'm not good at. Let's be clear about that. There's a lot of things that I'm not good at. But one thing I'm a master at is understanding, like, what I can and cannot do. You know, I understand my limitations and there are many. And so, yeah, I don't put myself in positions where I would do something like the stanky leg and look— look as dorky as I normally do on an everyday basis.

Matthew.

Absolutely not.

Matthew, I've seen you do TikToks with Maria Taylor. Are you sure you didn't do a stanky leg?

I don't— I'd have to go back and check, honestly. You know what's so funny about those TikToks is like, um, we had a, uh, we had a social producer, Mackenzie. She's great. She's like, like 23 or 24. And it was literally like, I mean, it was the blind— I mean, it was like she's an expert and like you, all of us, including Maria, by the way, um, are just like, okay, wait, what are we doing? And, and poor Mackenzie would literally just have to talk to us as we were morons. Like, okay, You're gonna just do this and then you're gonna do this and then you're gonna clap and then you're gonna move offside. All right, this, then this, then clap and move. Like, she would just like— she would literally have to break it down piece by piece. And we would just honestly, you know, she was great and we would just have to trust like, okay, I guess this is a— this is a trend. And so it was a— it was a bunch of old out-of-touch people trying to do, uh, do the trends. But people really like them and I know they're still doing them.

And, uh, shout out to Mackenzie wherever she is.

Mike Florio nailed those dances.

All right.

He was great. I think the Florio, you know, the reason why it works so well with Florio is just because if you know him at all, you know, he's a, you know, he's a former lawyer. So he's a bit of a straight-laced guy. But Florio is a funny guy, too. Like, I don't know that that always comes out publicly, but if you know him privately, like, he's a funny guy. And so I think that Uh, to his credit, he really embraced that. Floria was great, uh, on those. Yeah, for sure.

You can check out Matthew's new show, Pregame with Matthew Berry, on Roku, streaming weekdays noon until 2 PM Eastern, and listen to full episodes of Fantasy Football Happy Hour with Matthew Berry on Odyssey. Great job, Matthew. We'll talk to you next week.

Thanks, guys.

Matthew Berry. Matthew Berry.

Matthew Berry!

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What's up guys, it's Amin, and you know me, I love me some movies. And I'm really excited about this new movie coming out called The Mosquito Bowl. It's the incredible true story of 4 college football stars who walked away from NFL careers after Pearl Harbor to go enlist in the Marines. From Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg and starring Nicholas Galitzine, Bill Skarsgård, Ray Nicholson, and Tom Francis comes a story of brotherhood and sacrifice. 4 men who traded the gridiron for the battlefield. The Mosquito Bowl, in theaters October 30th.

Dan Levitar.

I'll go with this one.

Dave Demachek.

It has come Time now.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

Dave Namasek, I have a question for you. They just mentioned Mike Florio, and I don't know if you saw what Mike Florio had to say yesterday, but it was an inspired take that I hadn't really considered. Nobody did. It was illuminating. Do you know what I'm talking about?

I do not.

So for you and the audience, have you noticed how there's a handful of teams that have played 3 consecutive primetime games?

Falcons a few weeks ago.

Yeah, yeah, the, the Bears are in the middle of a stretch right now where they're doing that. And I, I thought to myself, that's weird, right? Mike Florio posited that this is the NFL beta testing finding ways to stagger a schedule so they can in the future have Tuesday Night Football and Wednesday Night Football, making sure that— because the only way to do it is by making sure teams play consecutive games on primetime. Monday can help you if you play on a Monday, then potentially you can play on a Tuesday the following week. Like, there's a whole bunch of things at play here And I slapped my forehead. I'm like, that's exactly what's happening here. That's the only reason the Atlanta Falcons would play 3 straight primetime games. The NFL is going to have Tuesday Night Football. The NFL is going to have Wednesday Night Football too. They're going to find ways to have football on every night and ruin everyone's marriage in America.

Waiting all day for a Wednesday night.

I think that's kind of right, Mike. And the leverage that these, these architects of the pro football and college football schedule have over us is that they know that we're going to watch. We can bellyache all we want about a 24-team playoff and too many games in the NFL regular season and what time and what day they're played on, but they know ultimately we're going to give in. We all got the spike in us real bad. The hook sinks real deep in us. We need to stay with the smack that is football. So I agree with that. I also like—

Oh, we got some breaking news here. According to Elliot Friedman, all right, we know he's the, the biggest of the—

What'd he say?

NHL insiders. He has just tweeted out 2 minutes ago, the Connor Hellebuyck saga is coming to an end. Now we don't know what team. It kind of feels a little bit like Shepter here. Remember where Shepter with, uh, Marvin Harrison Jr.? He's being traded. But we don't know if he has a little bit of that feel to it. Connor Hellebuyck, his best goalie in the NHL, he had been suspended the first week or two of the season from the Jets because he's demanded a trade. The Hellebuyck saga is coming to an end, Elliott Friedman has tweeted out. So, alright, there you go. It's about to be a very big day in the National Hockey League, Dave.

I am anxious to hear. We have on Football America coming up our pal Speaking of Connors, Connor Orr, and we talked to him. Tony's a part of it. He may remember what we talked about. We already did this conversation, but you're about to hear it. Who might get traded in the NFL? Saquon Barkley was a name that got mentioned there. That's juicy stuff. Maybe to Seattle there. Can we go back to what Matthew Berry said about Mike Florio? I like people who are described as, you may not know it, But he's really funny in private. Why doesn't he want to share that with the world? You would think that that's a nice quality.

Share your gift!

I love the Bill Belichick painted with the same brush. No, no, he only seems like a jackass when you see him interviewed. Deep down, if you actually know him, he's funny. Hmm, seems like he's depriving the rest of the world of a great gift, eh?

Is there any way that it's the Florida Panthers with Hellebuyck?

They don't have I know.

Well, they do have things to give them if they want to give up actual good players. Like, they, they do have things to give.

Who's the guy you would give up? Like, one of our actual contributors that you'd be like, okay, I'm fine with giving up him.

I don't want to play that game until they're out the door because I don't want it being held against me because I love all these guys.

'Cause I am a hella fuck girl.

But Lundell, yay or nay?

I'm not doing that.

Man, that was some of my best—

It's a no for now.

How about Victor E-Rat?

He can go.

'Cause I am a Hellebuyck girl! I mean—

What sense would it make, Zazz, for them to get Hellebuyck at this point? Roy? Well, I mean—

The sense that it would make is that it's one of the best goalies, if not the best goalie in the league, and they're kind of struggling right now. They presently have a goalie that's out because he got hit by a puck.

I think the sense that it would make is this is a Stanley Cup contending team, the Panthers, and I go into every game so far this season worried about goaltending.

All right.

I mean, I think they've already attempted to solve at that position and, uh, and unfortunately— Surprising.

One of the hazards of the job is being hit by pucks.

Yeah.

Damn it. It happened.

So this is going to be a big news day with the NHL as it looks like. Roy, if it's not, you know, we're fingers crossed it'll be Florida. Any idea what team? I mean, have to be a contender, right?

Because he has a no-trade and he's only going to accept to a contender.

I mean, it's been Buffalo this entire time.

Buffalo's been in the news about trying to get Hellebuyck. Now, I don't know if it's gonna happen.

Like, you don't want to stay in Winnipeg, but it's like, hey, let me go to Buffalo?

Yeah.

Well, they got a better team in Buffalo.

All right, so— oh man, I don't know if you guys—

Markstrom's not a slouch though, fellas. Okay, but can he play?

Like, where is he? Where— he's been hurt twice now. We're only 11 games into the season, 12 games into the season, you know? Come on. So—

You seem too rash though, Zazz. Like, if you're the builder of the team, you can't bail on Markstrom at this point. You've attempted to solve it. It's October. You can't—

Well, no, you can bail on him for Connor Hellebuyck. It's not like they gave up much for Markstrom.

What are we doing?

We're not getting Connor Hellebuyck.

Okay.

Let's, let's relax. There's no way Bill Zito joins us yesterday and then today makes a trade for Connor Hellebuyck.

And I—

we had that man on yesterday. I didn't catch the vibe that he was, uh, that he was working on the blockbuster trade. Didn't get that vibe. There's no way. In fact, I would go ahead and bet my life again.

Wow, it's a lot of—

there's a lot of running out of these.

There's a lot of life betting going on because you and me at the Weezer concert last week, we had a bet for your life that night too.

It was crazy. I survived that one.

You killed Mike. That was a crazy bet that Mike survived.

Yeah, it was like—

Care to share with the class?

Yeah, yeah. The bet was Bad Bunny won't come out on stage and join Weezer.

You just killed Mike.

There was one point where River's like, everybody, please welcome. And it was, oh no. And it was the girl from Silversun Pickups. Thank God.

Wow.

I got a little nervous.

Every time there was a break in the action, I tapped Michael. Hey, man, I think he's about to come out. Bad Bunny, baby.

If you want to destroy my sweater.

A lot of playing with Mike's life these days as I continue to refresh Elliott Friedman's Twitter account.

There's, there's a documentary coming out where a guy like bets his life, like legitimately, where he, he goes to the occult and he He's like, all right, curse me. And so like he, he had, he like the whole documentary is him like having a series of hexes put on his life and it plays out and perhaps bites off more than he can chew.

Oh no.

I gotta tell you guys, are you into that?

Naturally that happens.

I mean, it sounds amazing. Uh, you guys brought up Bad Bunny and it just started making me think about music and, and something.

My name is Jonas.

Something I'm really excited about. Um, which is I, I recommended probably a month, month and a half ago the, the TV show Adults and a lot of people got back to me and were like, hey, this comedy is great. My favorite comedy of the 21st century. Turns out they're doing a reboot of this show. Glee is back. And guys, I could not be more excited. Truly, this is one of the funniest TV shows that has ever happened. Like, I know that everyone is like, oh, they're singing songs. It is. It is truly so funny, self-referential, self-deprecating. This is a gigantic deal as this is one of the biggest shows of this century. I couldn't be more excited. I also couldn't be more nervous because I do think that this show was made in a time where, like, you talk about, like, oh, they could never make The Office today. They could never make Glee today. Those are the jokes that are made.

Can I stop you for a second?

No, hold on a second, hold on a second, hold on a second. I'm so excited about this, and these folks are no longer in high school. These are adults. So you know what that means? I can toast them.

Okay.

Okay?

Glee is worth a toast.

Okay.

And worth a toast is presented by Cuervo. Keep it fun, keep it Cuervo.

Okay, I— what I do want to correct you on is you said it right there, and people say this all the time, how The Office could never be made today.

It's crazy. Of course you couldn't.

The Office is on TV every single day.

Yeah, all those shows are done well.

Every day, back to back to back. It's on all day long.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Stop saying The Office.

Comedy Central is also just block to block for like 10 hours.

And then he said they couldn't make Glee today, and they are. Again, that's the point.

Like The Office couldn't be made today? No, no, it's on more than ever.

Yeah. No, and, and everyone loves that type of comedy, and I, I'm telling you guys, like, this is one of the funniest shows ever. I do have some questions.

All right, now hold on. All right, so fine, like I, I told you to stay ready, and you're—

This means no World Series talk.

Chomping at the bit. No, I'm gonna give him a choice, all right? Because God knows we don't have enough time for him to do both things that he wants to talk about. I'm gonna give you a choice. You can either give us your, your Glee top 5, which no one wants to hear, or you can give us a World Series preview as we have Game 1 tonight, Tampa Bay at Milwaukee. It is your choice. Choose wisely.

OLI, which Journey song will start the first episode?

Oh boy.

OLI, what about the Rays?

Will John Gallagher Jr. from Spring Awakening make an appearance? OLI, Jeremy Jordan or Aaron Tveit gonna appear first? OLI, which is the first song in the inevitable Olivia Rodrigo versus Sabrina Carpenter week? OLI, will Will Schuster do Not Like Us, or will it be Artie who ultimately raps that?

When do we get to talk about—

OLI, what's going on with Beth, Quinn's daughter who was raised by Rachel's biological mother, Idina Menzel, and will they center this entirely around her at McKinley High? OLI, will Lisa Rinna be the first Real Housewife to make an appearance? OLI, Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers gonna show up in this one? OLI, will Finneas O'Connell, Billie Eilish's brother, actually be back on the show? Did you know Finneas O'Connell was on it? OLI, what do you think the first mashup is gonna be? OLI, Now that it's a performing arts school, is there gonna be a sport?

It's time for me to step in here. I mean, you've had—

I've never wanted to hear about the World Series so bad in my life.

No, I'm happy he did this over baseball.

All right, so—

Mike, keep those hands back a little bit. You want those to be the last thing.

Well, it's like, there's so many things you got to do. You got to keep your head down. I'm always picking my head up.

Yeah, you can't pick your head up. Well, you're opening the shoulder up to her, your left shoulder up to her.

Tony's in the way.

Oh, Tony's in the way.

Is Cecil Bester gonna be the president?

So have you seen this story coming out of Madison Square Garden about the championship rings, Dave? Do you know what I'm getting to here?

I do, and it's insane, but par for the course.

So a couple— so a couple of nights ago, of course, the New York Knicks, you had the banner-raising ceremony and they give out their championship rings. That's very standard across the league. And there are now some details, and this is coming from The Athletic, all right? New York Times, coming from The Athletic, so you know it's legit. And it says here, Knicks assistant coaches did not receive their championship rings during Tuesday's ceremony despite being handed ring boxes, according to league sources. So the coaches, the coaching staff— we don't know about Mike Brown, all right? But the coaching staff did not get their rings, but they wanted to make it look like they were getting their rings. They had to stand there with empty boxes, the assistant coaches, which is strange. They're obviously getting them. I don't know why they weren't ready on opening night for Mike Brown and/or his assistants, but they weren't ready on opening night, strange enough as that is. As it turns out, the New York Knicks are not giving rings to all of their employees. Now, not every team gives to all of their employees, but most teams give to a good number of their employees.

Like, I could tell you with me on the Miami Heat broadcast, I have 2 championship rings. I don't know if I've told you that. All right. I have 2 championship rings.

Who, you?

And many, if not like most of the people who worked for the Miami Heat and in the building get championship rings. Now, there, if I remember correctly, there were 3 different tiers. Like, people, certainly broadcasters, people who work in the building, do not get the same ring as the players. I, I think when the Miami Heat did, I think there were 3 different tiers. I think I was on tier 2, uh, certainly not tier 1, but there are different tiers. You don't get the same as the players. And, you know, you fitted at some point over the summer, and you don't get the ring the same night as the players. Like, I think I got my ring 2 or 3 weeks after, you know, the opening night. But not everyone for the Knicks, not everyone who works there is getting rings, which, okay, fine. But how about this? There was an email that was sent out to Madison Square Garden employees. And over the summer. And the title of the email says— the top of the email says, congratulations, your employee championship ring is here. And then it has your name and it says, this one is on the house.

MSG is issuing a complimentary employee championship ring, the same jeweler, the same craftsmanship, personalized with your name, no cost to you. There are 2 designs to choose from. Championship Gold and Garden Classic. Reserve the one you want below. But here's where it gets wild. The email was a fake out. It was a phishing test from Madison Square Garden sent to see if those employees would click. And if you click on it, if you click the link from this unknown source, you then had to take a cybersecurity course. with Madison Square Garden. Holy shit.

And James Dolan was behind this?

Because he is all paranoid with cybersecurity. You know, remember Pablo? Where's Pablo did the episode where, you know, you got the cameras and the facial identification. Where's Pablo? They're paranoid there at MSG. And so this, you assume, is part of that paranoia, trying to teach employees not to get scammed by phishing emails. They now don't get a ring. They were never getting a ring. And now they have to take a cybersecurity course.

This is, even for James Dolan, astonishingly scummy. This is real bad. And it's been said you win a championship with that franchise, you're a made man, right? You can do no wrong. How do you prove that point wrong inside of 24 hours?

I can tell you, when the Heat won the championship in 2012, I— and I can only speak for myself, although I'm sure a lot of people felt this way. I was a little bit on edge. Do I get a championship ring? I really want one. It means a lot to me. All right. Do I— it means something to me as a lifelong fan. They're the team of my childhood. But also, like, it makes me feel like I'm part of the family. The Heat preach family. Am I part of the family? Am I actually part of the family? And I was on edge, you know, until I found out, yes. I am getting one.

Well, a lesser one, but you're part of the family, so. Ascended family.

And there are certainly people in MSG over the summer who are on edge.

You're like a drunk uncle.

Yeah.

Am I getting a ring?

Clearly less valuable, but part of the family.

And then they get this email and they think, oh my god, I am part of the family, just like Zaslav with the Heat.

Drunk uncle.

And they're trying to click on the link.

Uncle-in-law.

to pick their size and tell you which tier they want, and it turns out you just signed up for a cybersecurity course. That's hard times, Daddy. That's— Dave, that's brutal.

Movie villain levels of villainy, but par for the course, like I say, with not just James Dolan, but, you know, the grotesquely wealthy against the rest of us. Another chapter of that. It's now all out in the open. That's the difference in what's gone on this era. Now there's no attempt to even disguise these things anymore. The wicked among us are announcing to us, yes, they're evil and they don't care because they have wealth that makes it impossible for them to be touched, or at least that's their apparent belief. I can't believe, though, that Tashay thinks that Glee is one of the funniest shows ever, let alone of this century. What a disgrace.

You can't believe it?

You're right. Will already have made enough money from his directing career to be able to walk.

It's like the easiest thing to believe.

Or is Kevin McHale still going have to play a character in a wheelchair. Lord Tubington gonna be alive?

Is that— I sincerely didn't know, not to try to be hip or whatever, I didn't know enough about Glee to even know it qualified as a comedy, so I guess that's why I can't believe it.

Kevin McHale, the rebounder?

Good up and under.

Are we gonna meet Clayne's baby that Rachel was carrying?

We asked Eric Spolstra on my show on 790 Ticket before I got my ring, am I part of the team?

Name drop!

That's not a name drop, up. It's part of the story. We asked him, am I part of the team? He said yes.

Congratulations.

A couple months ago we asked Mickey Arison, do you know Jonathan Zaslow? That was rough. He said, who?

Who?

Nobody cares about that.

Okay.

I care.

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Analytics have slash are ruining the game. We're playing AI hoops.

That's his team!

His team's at the forefront of all that! Damn, Zaz, don't steal my thunder!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Jonathan Sassolo.

I get carried away.

This is the Dan Levitan Show.

Is Fondue for 2 on Twitch now? Like, where's that?

Refresh, Ellie.

Hey, Zaz, are you, uh, do you think that, uh, how do you think that Aikman-Buck throwdown would have gone if they went? Because they almost apparently threw hands. How do you think that resulted? Because when I first heard that story, I thought, what are you thinking, Joe Buck? But then I had some other thoughts on it. How say you?

Really poorly. Like, how is there any other answer than really poor for Joe Buck, right?

I agree. But also, there— it's a no-win situation for Troy Aikman. Obviously, he's a professional athlete, so he should put a licking on poor little Joe Buck with the, with the receding hairline. But what if he What if Joe Buck got a good one in and blackened— even if he just bloodied the nose or blackened the eye of Troy Aikman, Troy Aikman has to retire and go into hiding, right? He can't— he can't be— he can't walk into any pro circles.

I feel like if you're Joe Buck there, you got to have a sneak attack and just like jump on his back from behind and start like wrap your arms around him and just like take—

put him to sleep.

Zazz, is there a list of professional athletes that you could beat up?

I'm sure there are professional— I mean, there's a lot of different sports out there.

You couldn't beat up a professional.

Messi kicks your ass.

Horse racing is a pro sport. Those jockeys are tiny.

They all kick your ass.

Those jockeys will kick my ass?

Yeah, they're scrappy, man.

Well, I'm not from A Very Potter Musical.

I'm not scrappy.

Are you?

Whose ass are you gonna kick?

Who wins in a fight, Juan Pierre or Zaslow?

I saw Juan Pierre in the airport.

Not even close.

Oh yeah, he's in good shape. He's in good shape.

I saw JP. He's in good shape.

Yeah, jockeys also have to be in good shape.

Okay.

You're not in good shape.

You don't know that.

I do.

I think I could be— here's a bold, here's a bold thought. I think I and several other people in Miami right here could beat up Wayne Gretzky. I don't mean modern-day Wayne Gretzky. Obviously, he's drunk. I'm talking about in his prime, whatever, 24, 25. I think I could whip him. How say you?

Why is he obviously drunk?

He is pretty tiny.

You watch him on the broadcasts? I'd go— if I were him, I would go with, yeah, I've been drinking. I wouldn't, I wouldn't try to excuse it because otherwise, you know, I don't know why he's behaving that way if he's not. But I, I don't know. Listen, what do I know? I do think, yes, even in his prime, I think, I think, uh, Damashek takes him out.

Dude, you hate Wayne Gretzky.

You overheard him.

We, we, like, I was hearing your hit before you do the show. Like, you even—

We caught one sentence.

You were taking shots at Wayne Gretzky. You don't like the man.

Well, no, because yes, I was talking about the Joe Buck fight and then it reminded me of my— it didn't come close to actual fisticuffs.

Hold on a second. I want to make sure that we're doing things right around here.

Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.

You're good.

All right, keep going, Dave. There you go.

For the record, I know nothing about whether or not Wayne Gretzky enjoys a drink or not. It just seems that way when he's broadcasting. But either way, I don't know, 20-ish years ago, you know, 15, 20-ish years ago, Wayne Gretzky was booked to be on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show, and I encouraged the host of that program to bring up the greatest hockey players of all time according to the alleged greatest, Wayne Gretzky. And so Jimmy did that, and he— and Jimmy is— it was loosely— is loosely a Kings fan, I guess. And so he was on Gretzky. Uh-oh, here we go.

Breaking news. Elliott Friedman Sources, Winnipeg and New Jersey—

What?

Are working on a Connor Hellebuyck deal. But, but there is a caveat in the end of the tweet. We will see what develops. That's a big-time hedge.

Puddy's happy.

Well, the Devils—

so New Jersey is trying to trade for Connor Hellebuyck, but we will see what develops.

Okay.

All right.

Everybody calm down.

Tri-State's 3rd most popular hockey team. Terrific.

Dave, do you have a Mr. Lister for us today?

I do. I guess nobody cared about my Gretzky story that I was trying to spin.

He definitely, he definitely aborted on that. Yeah, that was crazy.

That is a— that is very rude of me, Dave. and I would actually like to hear the end of that story. Yes, please.

Oh, terrific. So Jimmy Kimmel says to Wayne Gretzky while he's paneling, as they call it in the business, he says, who Wayne-O is the greatest player of all time? And Wayne, I always found him passive-aggressive on the subject of Mario Lemieux because it is sort of like Babe Ruth and Willie Mays being in the league at the same time and asking Wayne— or asking Babe, what do you think of this Willie Mays? It is a little bit tough to share that space with somebody else. Nevertheless, I never enjoyed Gretzky's answers when it came to '66 Lemieux, who clearly was the more talented hockey player. And so—

Clearly.

Gretzky responds, oh well, whether Gordie Howe and Bobby Orr, there are just so many greats.

Doesn't include—

doesn't mention Mario Lemieux. Oh, there are just so many, that's a hard one to answer. Somehow leaves off '66 from his list. And then Jimmy's like, well, we got a writer here, he thinks Mario Lemieux. is the best. And Wayne goes, oh yeah, well, Mario's great. He's terrific. He's terrific. And it ends, whatever. Wayne comes in, comes back into the green room, and he goes into his little dressing room, and he comes back out with his bag, and he's leaving. And the publicist— and I say, hey Wayne, I just wanted to introduce myself to you. I kibitzed with him for a minute, and I said, curious, how come you didn't mention Mario Lemieux when asked who the best player is? And he said, I mentioned him. And I said, yeah, because Jimmy brought him up to you. Of course you had to bring him up. And it goes back and forth for a little bit, and eventually—

You're arguing with Wayne Gretzky?

Well, the publicist is there, and she goes like, Wayne has to leave now, thank you, and everything, and starts to walk away from him. And, you know, Marty McSorley was Gretzky's goon, and before that Dave Semenko was. And he gets 15 or 20 feet away, and I don't appreciate her ending this conversation when I felt it wasn't resolved yet. yet. And so I say, hey, Wayne-o, Semenko's not here tonight. And Wayne turns around and gives me the stink eye like he's gonna— like, like he's gonna give me what's the matter with you. And meantime, the executive producer of The Kimmel Show is arm barring me and he says, you can't get into fights with the guests. And I, and, and I thought, I said to him as I cooled down, I was like, listen, Gretzky, I'll take a beating. On behalf of defending the honor of Lemieux. I think I'll be in the good graces forever of the good people of Pittsburgh, PA for doing that. But then I thought, what if I beat the hell out of Gretzky? What if I beat him up there? Then they have to erect a statue of me outside the arena, right, Roy?

Well, you'd be fired, but sure.

What's the matter with you?

What do you mean, what's the matter with me?

You get into a fight with Gretzky, like he doesn't—

I didn't get in a fight with him. I had a disagreement with him. We were two grown-ups. I'm allowed to have a different opinion than Wayne O.

Well, that, that's exactly the point. You're— he's allowed to have a different opinion than you. Like, why does it matter that he didn't mention Lemieux?

I, I, because I think that's wrong. And like I say, it's passive-aggressive, or perhaps even just straight-up aggressive. You don't mention the obvious answer. Oh, well, Gordie Howe, he was great. And Bobby Orr, who I never saw play. Oh yes, they were great. But you don't mention your contemporary. Oh, he just slipped my mind, I guess. Yes, it was a shot, clearly. Come on, wake up, Zaslav.

Put it on the poll. Who has more hatred, Tony for Dave Matthews or Dave Damashek for Wayne Gretzky?

I wonder if the general public in the show is going to find out that Rachel sent Sunshine Corazon to a crack house.

Oh, no one gives a shit.

Is the language going to get more raunchy on streaming? Adam Lambert coming back?

Dave, you can't pick a fight with Wayne Gretzky.

I mean, I don't know that I was picking a fight. Yeah, you were!

He's walking away and you're carrying on!

You mentioned his goon!

Let me tell you something. I've never been in a fight in my life, and Wayne Gretzky hasn't either. So I don't think either one of us has any sense of the rules. Wayne Gretzky always was a fancy pants who had someone else, a brawny guy, to defend him and fight his fights for him. I need one of those. Who wants to be my goon? That's the question.

What year is this going to be based in? Are Jesse and Rachel still married? Who's Josh Groban? Kill yourself.

Did Kimmel find out?

Oh, he found out.

And?

Listen, he's a man of great passions himself. I assume he under— I don't, to be honest with you, I don't really remember what happened. I know I wasn't reprimanded for it.

Gretzky?

He understood. Kimmel had to make it right. Because he wanted to be in good standing with Gretzky, I guess, and so he brought up Lemieux so that Gretzky didn't walk off the panel with egg on his face, 'cause clearly anybody with sense knew what just happened there. Gretzky took a shot by omitting the name Lemieux. You know that Gretzky's nickname was The Great One, but do you know the word Lemieux translates in French to the best? True.

Gretzky got into one fight I'm seeing on the internet.

I know, he beat up Neil Brodden, actually. There you go. He didn't beat him up, but he, he apparently won that fight.

How does he know that?

Embarrassing for Neil Brodden.

Who keeps track of that? All right.

There you go.

There we go.

That's good.

Still not sure.

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