Transcript of Chris Cote "Meekishly" Makes A Suggestion | Local Hour

Hey LeBron, uh, Jeremy. Just, um, trying to tell you about Miami Heat. I know you know, you know a lot about Miami. Uh, it's been a while since you were here though. I mean, you know, you were like in your 20s. Um, you know, you're 41 now. I act kind of 40. So I'm here to recommend, you know, the suburbs in Broward are really you know, conducive for what I think you might be looking for. You know, and from a basketball perspective, like, you know, when you really think about it, you know, you, Bam, Giannis, you know, it's a pretty good team.

Very good.

You don't get that reference. You know, when we talk basketball, like, Look, I, you know, it's pretty simple. When Bam's on the floor every year of his career, you got a top 6 defense. And since Bam came in the league, when Giannis is on the floor, you got a top 6 offense. You know, you come in, you add to that. You could freelance on defense because you got a couple of guys back there. You don't really have to try because like everyone else tries so hard. Um, and you could, you know, ultimately save, uh, you know, like, Cleveland's got enough, you know, they— you already did the thing for them, so you should come back here. And if you don't know, um, personally, I'd love to meet you because, well, my, my wife, um, met her when I was a freshman in college and you were still on the Heat. I'm 31 now. That's a long time. And, um, you know, she wasn't a huge basketball fan, but she came to my dorm room to watch, uh, you play against the Pacers. And tell me if I'm— well, you can't tell me, but I'm being long-winded, I know.

And, uh, Yeah, she, she came over, watched the game with some friends, and, uh, then we were hanging out afterward, and, you know, we were laughing, and I was scrolling on, on Twitter. It was actually, you know, it was called— it was actually Twitter back then, and, and I was, you know, just scrolling and looking at stats and I was very happy because you guys had won. And then, um, I said I love you to my then-girlfriend for what was actually the first time because I was so disarmed by everything and she had made me laugh. And then she said, are you talking to me or LeBron? And, um, now we're married. I should have probably mentioned at the top, I work on the Heat broadcast, so we would get to interact. This might not be a good—

you know what, maybe we shouldn't I'm gonna send this one to him. You are listening to the Dan Levitan Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports App, now live in all 50 states. Ah yes, good morning everyone. Give it up for Friday. It's a Friday show. We did it everyone, we made it to Friday in one piece. I don't know if this crew's worked together before. We got Chris, we got Jeremy, We got Mike Ryan, Dave Dameshek, not out in LA, in Pittsburgh. Hello, Dave.

Hello.

Hello.

Yes. George Clooney summers in Lake Como. Dameshek summers on the banks of the Three Rivers in heaven the whole month of July. Oh, it's dynamite.

All right, Dave, if I remember correctly, a couple of weeks ago, because I don't think we had a Friday show last week. Did we have a Friday show last week?

No, we didn't.

Yeah. So a couple of weeks ago, If I remember correctly, Dave was upset. Dave has been upset. Chris, you know what Dave Dameshek has been upset about?

I don't remember.

So the new show Open— we have several show opens. Oh yeah, I remember. And the new show Open that was created, Dave Dameshek is very upset that he is not in the show Open, that he's not one of the cast members who was announced, uh, you know, in, in, in the Open by Poppy.

Well, I want to hear Poppy say my name. Is that so wrong?

Well, I mean, you're in the open though, Dave, and I have visual proof. You're absolutely in the show open. All right. You're in the show open late in the intro. There you are. Look up, Dave. You're right there. That's you. That's you right there, Dave. You're in the open.

Also, the animated or whatever, the illustrated version of me makes me look creepier than James Woods in Vegas. Well, that's, you know, I, it's really troubling the way— am I perceived as a mustache guy? 'Cause I don't think of myself as a mustache guy. I think of myself as hirsute, generally kind of swarthy looking. But I've been— that picture when I saw it, oh, that's how you see me. I'm like Tom Selleck.

Well, who's you? Like, I didn't draw the cartoon. You guys. Oh, okay.

Do you see me as a mu— like, describe that guy. Like, oh, he's a mustache guy.

Uh, I think you're, you're a beard guy, but in the cartoon you have a beard. It's just the beard is lighter than your mustache, which I think is factually correct.

When are we going to address the elephant in the room that Dan Le Batard has the most bizarre reversal of exactly that? Very few people go dark beard, white mustache. You know, and now the beard is catching up with him. But that's a very rare occurrence.

So that's the elephant in the room.

I think so. Yeah, I think, thankfully, we're finally talking about it.

Guys, I'm in trouble, man. I'm in trouble. I got to cop to this. I'm in trouble. My wife is going to be so mad at me. So my wife's in Israel right now. She's been in Israel for over a week now, and she's coming back in a few days.

Good time to go.

And I mean, we could say that literally any point in time. And so my wife is in Israel. It's her first time there. She'd never been. And so she's been there for over a week. And like, man, you know, the days, even the weeks leading up to her leaving, her big concern was, am I going to be able to, to like manage the house? You know, she's not going away for a weekend. That means that I got to, I got to be on top of everything. You know, I got to make sure I take care of the dogs. I have to make sure that my son, my younger one, gets to camp. I have to make sure that the law— that the towels get washed. And I said to my wife, I go, why do I gotta wash the towels? She's like, listen, I could smell your towel from the other side of the room. You gotta wash the towels. All right, fine. And then, you know, I gotta do the laundry, gotta make sure everybody's got clothes. And so I almost knocked over my orange juice. Let me move this. And so I'd have been in disaster.

And so I have to make sure—

serious choice. You don't see many hosts like just slamming the OJ.

That, that is— that's— Dave, that is true. Do you, do you run into many sports talk show hosts who their drink of choice, they have a cup of orange juice? I think it's a fair critique of me in this moment.

I want you to jazz it up and go smoothie. If you're going to do it, do it all the way.

You go pulp?

No pulp?

I, I think that's some—

I go some pulp.

Oh, that's a weird move.

"Why is some—" "Is it commit or don't like it?" "Hold on a second." "Some pulp." "That's in the— it's a type of orange juice. It's not like I'm pouring the OJ and I'm pulling out some of the pulp myself." "Straining it?" "Yeah, I'm not straining it myself. That's the OJ.

You could buy it, some pulp." "Why is it that Hoda Kotb and George Bush's daughter, they sit there and they drink wines, I don't know if they're still doing it, in the same hour as we sit here having this conversation." I say we go wine, beer, otherwise. How about you put— how about you at least put some champagne in that OJ?

The other day I poured myself— we have apple juice here in the fridge, and I poured myself some apple juice, and Jesse said she doesn't remember the last time an adult poured himself apple juice. Yeah, apple—

well, all very— it's a weird thing. Apples in their pure form are the best of all fruits. I think we can all agree on that. Now, the derivations of it, the juice The sauce, the pie, all subpar. I don't indulge any of them because I so treasure the raw form apple.

Has a sports talk show host ever had an apple pie with him during the show?

Hmm. That's a good question. Not sure. Yeah, no. Mel Kiper has a pumpkin pie on the air every day of his life, but I don't know about apple pie.

Look, apple juice. I'm not pouring myself any of the random brands, but If I can get a little glass of Martinelli's apple juice, I'm getting it 100% of the time.

Apple juice makes me poop. When I was a kid, if I was a little backed up, give me a big glass of apple juice.

20 minutes later, Chris have an issue, pour him a glass of apple juice. Mom, I can't poop.

Here you go, here's some apple juice.

Let's see if he can make it to the end of the show after he drinks a gallon of apple juice.

I like that idea. So, so that's the big thing when my wife was leaving. I, I, I got to make sure I have all those things covered. I got to make sure I do the laundry. Okay, here's how you do the laundry. She left me a list, you know, you, you turn the knob to this, you do it for this long, and you know, this is for this son's laundry and this is this son's laundry.

I have to— I don't want to reveal too much here, but during our pre-show, you know, discussion, you had to step away. And then I'm getting to that. We kind of, we kind of just overheard some bits and pieces, like there was some sort of laundry issue.

Yes, that like This is not— I'm not doing a bit here. Like, this happened 25 minutes ago. All right.

You're taking calls from Tel Aviv on the state of the lawn?

No, it wasn't my wife. It was my younger son. And so that's the big thing. I got to make sure the boys have clothes. And my— he's been gone for over a week now. And my younger son called me like he woke up, you know, an hour ago and he's getting ready for camp. He's doing his whole thing. His older brother is going to drive him to camp in the morning like he's been for the last week. And he calls me, goes, Dad, I don't have any more clothes.

So I—

I don't have clothes for camp.

All I heard you say was, I don't know, 20 minutes.

Yeah, well, that was what came from the other side. So here's what I told you. He doesn't have any clean clothes. He has no more clothes. And like, he's upset. And what can I do about it? I'm here. And so I'm like, all right, go in your hamper. You know, the dirty hamper. Go in the hamper. Get your shorts. Get your— get underwear and get a shirt.

He doesn't have more than a week's worth of underwear.

And weird. Well, all right. And so I said, take those clothes, throw them in the dryer. All right. Throw them in the dryer.

It is a move in a panic.

Run the dryer for 25 minutes. You're not leaving for 30 more minutes for camp. Run the dryer for 25 minutes. All right. And I told you, that's how you clean clothes. All right. They'll be clean. That's how you clean clothes. And, and like, he's frustrated, but he doesn't have any other options at this point. And so that's what he's going to do now. So, so my, my wife inevitably is going to find out. Let me tell you something, my boys, especially the younger one, snitches. Such snitches. My daughter is too. And you know what happens to snitches, right? Right? Yeah, they get hurt. They get hurt. That my boys are such snitches. So my younger one is Definitely. He may have already texted my wife at this point. They're 7 hours ahead. They're in the future. So she's awake. Don't need to tell you how time zones work. So she's awake. He may have already texted her. I may have a nasty text message from Jerusalem right now waiting for me. But that's—

I'm going to call her right now and see what the hell this voodoo you think is going to work. Putting clothes in a dryer. Yeah. Well, what in hell?

I don't know. I feel like it just makes them warm and maybe it cleans a little bit. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I didn't have any other— I'm Damashek. I'm here. All right. Like, he's at home. I don't have any other— there's nothing else I can do. I had to come up with something.

Inside out. That's usually the solution. The kids will definitely think that's cool.

Here's the kid who wears his clothes inside out. That's pretty wild.

It's a ridiculous suggestion.

That's a good social move.

Tashay, my suggestion. And by the way, I'm just talking about underpants. I'm not talking about the whole head to toe. Okay. Get up. I'm just talking about so he doesn't stink too bad. Although I don't know that the inside-out underpants trick really works, but it's better than throwing them in the dryer. What's that gonna do?

Take some dryer sheets, it'll help you with the smell potentially.

Heat, heat will kill germs. I don't— I guess.

He kills germs, you know science. Yeah, all right, I'll, I'll go with you on that one. I think my bigger thing is like, I'm good with doing the old dryer trick for, like, Damashek was sort of saying here, the clothes on the outside. If I got a t-shirt, if I've got some shorts, whatever, if that's what needs to be done—

underwear is crazy—

then that's what needs to be done. Underwear is insane.

I'd go just— I'd freeball it before I would, like, use some underwear. Yes, maybe.

My wife's gonna be mad, man, so I'm gonna have to deal with that.

And she's going— go do it. Listen, get away from all this and take the advice of Dickie Betts and the Allman Brothers and eat a peach, because I just advocated for apples. But if you have had a peach lately, you know what I'm talking about. Take a— get yourself a nice yellow peach, chill it in the fridge for half an hour, take it out, carve it up, take a bite or three. When you get back from cloud nine, you can thank me then. Oh, the peaches.

Gorgeous, Reggie. Do you suck on the pit? Like, are you one of those who keeps the pit?

No, no, no. I'm resentful of all fruits with a pit.

Don't dare tell me. But you know what I'm talking about? There are people who like— They spend the rest of the day sucking on the pit. Weird ass. It's gross, right? Yeah.

There's a lot about this that's gross to me.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Anyway, so that's what I'm dealing with this morning. Chris, you had your own situation this morning, right?

Oh my God. I'm dealing with car issues right now. My car took a shit yesterday, so I decided to Uber in today. Did it drink apple juice? No, I did not.

No, the car. Is everyone doing a routine today? What is going on?

You're next. Get ready.

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Here's Dave Demacek and he's like, "Hey guys, Pittsburgh, uh, alright." Everybody's like, "Who the fuck is this guy?" Dave Demacek.

He goes, "What TV's the Penguins game on?" "Who the hell is this guy?" This is the Dan Levitar Show.

So I get into the Uber and it's like a 45-minute ride, like on the good side. If traffic's bad, it can be over an hour. So I get this—

I hate Ubers, by the way. Like, I travel during football season, obviously, with ESPN Radio, so I take Ubers a lot. It's the only time I ever take Uber. I hate Uber. I don't like being in the back seat. I get nauseous.

I have an etiquette question here. So now we're getting on the highway, and I know from experience that it is like a 20-minute quicker drive if you get in the express lane. If you sit in the regular lane, it is like a good 25.

Oh, I think it's more than that.

Right.. And so I am now dealing with the awkwardness of, do I say to this guy, hey, can you take the express lane? Or do I suggest it? Do I have the right as an Uber passenger to like demand it?

See, that's interesting to me.

Do I have to offer to pay?

Like, hey, I'll tip you whatever the fee is.

That's interesting to me because you see it like in movies and TV shows, right? Where if you're in a cab in New York, they're barking out orders. To the cab driver what streets to take and what lane to be in and what highway to go. I'm like, this is crazy behavior. You, you, you tell the driver how to drive to the place you're going? I can't even imagine.

And my move was the insecure move of what I'm going to do is just, just very meekish, very meekishly suggest the— how'd you do that? Meekly. Meekly. Whatever. I say meekishly.

You knew what I meant. Yeah. I totally know what you mean.

Meekishly.

I'm going to meekishly suggest the express lane. How'd you do that? I just said, hey, you know, oh man, that express lane, it's like so much quicker. Oh, this would be fun to do. And he's just like, oh, I'm gonna— Hold on a second.

You finished it with that would be fun to do? To be fun. It'd be a blast. I feel awkward about—

I like, I'm asking the question, do I have the right—

So essentially you told the Uber driver let's— you had an idea for how to make things fun.

I basically was just like, man, it's just, it's definitely quicker. It would be fun to do that. And he's just like, I'm just going to do it this way.

I just had this experience the other night actually where I was— I missed the train on the way home from the Marlins game. Everyone is doing a road trip. I'm not. Yeah. And my wife, I mean, what, what, what my wife said when that happened. No, but when, when I went in that Uber because I now had to go all the way back to Fort Lauderdale, same sort of deal, I could see how much traffic there was. I could see the the express lane was still open at this time.

They should know this. They drive more than we do.

And I said nothing because I was of the assumption like, well, this is going to cost him money. And what if he doesn't have a SunPass? What if he can't just go in this lane? Because it's not like there's tolls now. So I don't know what the ticket is if you go in that lane and you're not supposed to. Maybe he doesn't want to get pulled over. I don't really understand how any of that works. So I just sat there and said nothing and accepted my fate of it taking an extra half hour. And it was— it was frustrating because I like, I looked at his ways and I looked at my ways that has the express lane built into it, and I literally saw the difference of 32 minutes. And instead I just sat there and I texted my wife and she said, "What are you doing?" So that's why I was late.

It reminds me, recently I saw the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry, he gets a hooker, he gets a prostitute so he could take the express lane to go to the Dodgers game. The hooker wanted to go to the game also, but he didn't have a ticket for her. So like, he's just—

Sean Young. Sean Young isn't a hooker, but you know, she, she gets around DC in, uh, in No Way Out, a gem of a picture with Costner. Would you— as who in that room there is most likely to pull the Costner Sean Young move of sliding up? It's not in an Uber, no, in a limo. Limos have gone the way of the dodo bird, the stretch limos. But back in the day, he raises up, he's like, hey, beat it, chauffeur driver, and he raises the window on him and then he makes his love on her real good, real, real good. He puts a love on her. But Zach, have you ever done that or would you do that?

I will agree, it feels like the stretch limo doesn't have the cachet anymore. Like for my bachelor— I don't think they exist. Like for my bachelor party, I had a stretch Hummer. Stretch Hummer's cool, right? It is. I think so. Stretch Hummer is cool. I mean, you know, seemed cool to me.

You know that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that Dave brought up saved someone from going to jail for murder?

Oh, yeah. No, of course. It's one of the great—

it's one of the great stories for an extra who was accused of murder.

He was going to go to prison. He was going to be found guilty for killing a 16-year-old girl.

Yep. And then they ended up discovering that that episode was being filmed at the Dodgers game he was at, and they could find him in the background.

Yeah. Like he wasn't an extra. He was legitimately at the Dodgers game. That was his alibi. And they found him in the background of one of the scenes. And he got all—

I'm just picturing his attorney like a week before the trial, just like watching Curb.

Yeah. He's just like, oh shit! Right. Amazing, right? Amazing. So I will tell you something that's not going to be amazing. You know, I have been, I've been pretty dug in on LeBron and he's going, he's going to choose Miami, that he's coming here. I have felt that pretty much the whole, for a couple weeks now. But really, like, at the beginning of this process, I started to connect the dots, and it really felt to me like— I know the Heat have prepared. The Heat have behaved like a team who believes they have a real shot at LeBron, that's for sure. And, and I, I felt that LeBron was going to choose the Heat. It seemed like that for me, and I've been pretty steadfast on that up until yesterday, and I think it's going to be Cleveland now. I think he's going to choose Cleveland. What changed? I'm so tired of people even talking about, like, even credible people on television, you know, talking about Philadelphia and even Golden State. I mean, some people are still mentioning Minnesota. Like, get the hell out of here. Like, you really think we're going to get a notification one of these days?

LeBron is joining the Wolves. Like, what are you talking about? It's either Miami or Cleveland. That's it. Those are the only two options.

Are we playing LeBron predictions? Because I got one. Your prediction that he's going to Cleveland?

Well, I think, yeah, I think it's Cleveland now. And what changed? It just— there's too much chatter right now online. It feels like it's Cleveland. It feels like they're preparing. It feels like we're in a spot that all the momentum has shifted in Cleveland's direction.

I definitely agree with you on that one. The sports guy is saying that he's probably pretty plugged in if he is saying it is definitively. As he is. Uh, the thing that has not been the discussion— if the goal is for the ultimate mercenary, and that's kind of how LeBron has positioned himself, I guess prodigal son back to Cleveland, one last act up there, kind of is a nice sentimental storyline. But if the goal were to add one more chapter, it— one more Finals run, one more title, isn't the Spurs the obvious answer? Well, I have barely heard that team mentioned. If that were the goal, that's where you go. Can he rightly— and I defer to you guys on this— can he win a title? Can he even get to the Finals with this Cavs team as constituted?

Well, yeah, you're correct. Like, if we're going to do that, what's the best place for him to go if he wants to win a championship? It's San Antonio or Oklahoma City. I think that's the best.

Don't you think that that would be a conversation if Pop were healthy and were still active? And held in the regard that he did during the prime of his career. Because I, because I think like San Antonio is a very random place for LeBron to end his career. But alongside Pop and all the respect that there is there, I think that it'd probably be a news item. Whereas now they have a head coach that literally threw up on his jersey and on his sweater during the NBA Finals and became a punchline.

All right.

My LeBron prediction is he will reveal where he's going on Rich Paul's podcast. In person? Uh, however it will be through that platform, whether it's a video he does, whether they bring him on with Rich Paul, maybe Max, maybe Max plays the Jim Gray role. I just, I just feel like with all the Rich Paul stuff— will it be live? I just feel like they— like, he is going to be like, who do I want to give this win to? It's not going to be Shams, it's not going to be Sports Illustrated like it was. It's gonna— I just feel like in this day and age he's trying to build that podcast.

Yes, it is interesting. Like, every time he's been a free agent, it's been a completely different way that he's announced it. In 2010, he did the decision, took meetings and did the decision. In 2014, it was the COVID of Sports Illustrated. Lee Jenkins released a story. In 2018, you just got it on the crawl. And we knew the whole year he was gonna leave and go to the Lakers, but it just said on the crawl one day, "LeBron is signing with the Los Angeles Lakers." And now, we've got nothing. All we have is, "I'm not taking any meetings." Rich Paul, go, go gather as much information as possible, and at some point here, he's going to announce where he's going.

Another one I have that is maybe not as, you know, this one's more like you can see it coming. Draymond's going wherever he goes. Like they're golfing right now in Puerto Rico. I think wherever LeBron signs, Draymond's gonna be tagged along with them.

Yeah, I think people are looking at it the wrong way. People think that Draymond's there—

oh, he's not gonna come here.

Well, people are looking at it like Draymond's there to recruit LeBron to the Warriors, and that may be a part of this, but Draymond is not leading here. Draymond is following.

So where are we going? They're probably in Puerto Rico, like, let's go to Puerto Rico, let's play golf, we'll talk about it.

That is so I'm glad that you mentioned that because allow me to follow up on an investigation that we had yesterday where we were 100% right. We reported with 100% certainty LeBron was either in Florida or the Caribbean. Right now, I was also 75% sure because of the, uh, the plant life around that it was Florida because, you know, Puerto Rico would be an odd place. And we did track that plane from Akron to West Palm. Now we know where LeBron was yesterday. My report was on information from 2 days ago, so I may have been right. But one thing that I was 100% right about was the Royal Poinciana and where it grows— either Florida or the Caribbean. That's another incredible job reporting by this show. That's journalism. That is big J journalism. But yeah, I think Draymond goes wherever LeBron goes.

So, so then, so then he's out as far as Miami? Like, he don't signing Draymond. Why, why are you—

no. The Heat will sign whoever LeBron tells them to sign.

You, you really think Draymond, who just opted out of $27 million, you think Draymond's gonna go sign somewhere for the minimum?

I think Draymond will follow LeBron James.

That, to your point, he might not sign here because of that, because we can't pay him. But like, I would—

yeah, I would say—

do you think that the difference, legitimately, the difference for LeBron would be you have to be able to acquire Draymond for 20-something million dollars or I won't go there? Because by the way, if that's the case, like, that would require Cleveland completely and utterly blowing up their entire roster.

I was kind of assuming at this point that Draymond would take a little less to play.

Yeah, maybe. Okay, maybe Draymond opting out means he's taking less. No one in their right mind is paying Draymond what he was going to opt into, right?

But didn't we think less meant like instead of $27 million, he'll take $15 million?

But the only, the only team that can pay him close to that kind of money would presently be Golden State, and that's without LeBron on their books. Like, LeBron on the books means Draymond takes significantly less money in Golden State. So him opting out to me was a pretty clear sign that his, his primary priority is linking up with LeBron. And wherever he goes, and he hopes that it's Golden State, probably can make a little bit more money in Golden State. But wherever he goes, the teams that we're talking about, they barely have space for LeBron. Some have to— most have to maneuver to get LeBron James on their roster. I think pretty much all of them do. Draymond's not the priority there. Draymond's— they're gonna have to do some huge gymnastics to fit Draymond on the book. Tony, you know that moment at a party or a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks? I know it well.

It's usually when I show up, everybody goes crazy.

Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Quarell. I walk in like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night. It has that effect on people. It does. You usually take the credit for it, but again, it's the Cuervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering.

Keep it Cuervo! Keep it Cuervo, baby!

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Sehr gut, sehr gut, sehr gut. Sehr gut? Wieso, Steuer ist sehr gut. Das sagen ganz viele.

Wer sagt das?

Stiftung Warentest, Computerbild, Focus Money, Chip, Finanztipp. Such dir was aus. Mega!

Aber das ist doch bestimmt kompliziert.

Nö, einfach Foto von der Lohnsteuerbescheinigung machen und fertig.

Klingt sehr gut. Ist sehr gut. Mit Wieso Steuer bis zum 31.

Juli abgeben. Dan Levatar.

Analytics have/are ruining the game. We're playing AI hoops. That's his team! His team's in the forefront of all this! Dan's ass, don't steal my thunder! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Jonathan Sasslow. I get carried away! This is the Dan Levatar Show! Well, I'm just curious what you perceive to be LeBron's priority here.

Is it getting a title? Is it rounding out his career and making one last statement, putting an exclamation point at the end of it? One narrative that would be fun to play into that probably is out the window because of the mess that Pablo Torre has covered is the Clippers. If he likes the lifestyle, which he clearly does in Los Angeles, and he wants to kind of stick it to the Lakers on some level because they embarrassed him, perhaps wouldn't the Clippers with Kawhi be about as good a situation as he can find at this point? Unless— what's better for LeBron? LeBron with Giannis in Miami? I, in a way, I kind of think lifestyle and otherwise, if you want to stay in LA, because I think What you said, Zazz, a second or so ago, San Antonio seems random. I think that's the place LeBron has now found himself in, is this weird, severe mercenary role where, where the highest bidder, best chance for me to win and all that kind of stuff. And it has a weird vibe to it at this point. It's a little like Kawhi Leonard, as a matter of fact.

Yeah, that's why it's always been obviously to me either Cleveland or Miami. But if we're talking about, you know, what the options here, I think the only thing that Cleveland has over Miami is the storybook ending. That's— and look, you know, is that— is that's his home, the storybook ending. If we, if we look at everything else, we look at lifestyle, golf, that like he loves golf now. That's a— I don't play golf, but apparently people who get that golf bug, it's like a real thing. And certainly Miami, I'm, I'm not 100% sure, but I think Miami has better golf than Cleveland does. So you got that, you got the style of play in Miami, you got the guys who he's going to play next to, Bam and Giannis, the way that LeBron fits. You got the coach who's, uh, maybe the best coach in the league, who he knows he could trust. You're familiar with everyone in the franchise. The only thing— I mean, tell me if I'm wrong, Mike— the only thing that I see Cleveland having over Miami in this spot to attract LeBron is that it's his home.

That's a big thing. And a conquering hero returning home. He's already done the return back and he knows how that goes. What's the cupcake shop saying? Okay, so I like—

this is stupid, right? But it's a real thing. So when LeBron— and you could help, you know, trigger my memory if you guys remember it differently than I do, but In the days leading up to LeBron leaving Miami, there was an account on Twitter from a cupcake shop called Caroline's Cupcakes. It's based in Canton, Ohio. And weirdly enough, they essentially broke the story that LeBron is coming home. They did the real thing, and they're looking to get into the breaking news story again. And ESPN Cleveland retweeted this. Caroline's Cupcakes. And this is from Instagram, I believe. Caroline's Cupcakes. And this would lend credence to what Mike Ryan just said. They tweeted out yesterday, I've got it on good authority that not only is LeBron coming back to Cleveland, but he's bringing Draymond with him. If you don't believe me, you can Google Caroline's Cupcakes. 'Plus LeBron, and check out my credentials. This is not my first rodeo.' And that's true. It's a stupid, weird thing.

You gotta let the people find out your credibility though. Like, saying you have the credibility in the tweet is—

I don't like that move. Well, nonetheless, I'm not the only one who remembers this, right? You remember this cupcake shop? They broke the story last time, and Mike just told us here, Draymond is definitely— now that's just, you know, speculation, but Draymond is definitely going with LeBron, and that's what what that account has said. So take that for what you will. But I told you yesterday, it really seemed like a groundswell of momentum that was leaning toward LeBron. But I want to take you back to this. Okay. I want to take you back to— you remember this year? Remember this NBA season when LeBron got himself in hot water with Memphis? He hates Memphis. All right. The, the, the, the, the city of Memphis should lose the Grizzlies. They should move the Grizzlies to Nashville.. And then LeBron had to defend these statements where— give this a listen— he also mentioned other places he doesn't like playing. People have taken those comments—

people have been upset about the fact that Memphis was looked at as a team that, you know, a lot of Black people in Memphis, right, compared to like Nashville, for example.

So people say I don't like Black people? No, I didn't say that. But there were people who wondering why Memphis was targeted like Milwaukee was too.

They miss that one too?

They didn't see that?

Not as much commentary. Oh yeah, okay.

Milwaukee as well. 41 years old, it's two cities I do not like playing in right now. That's Milwaukee and that's Memphis. What is your problem? I don't like going home either, shit. And I'm from there. What is— people, people are ridiculous. They also get mad at my son being on the team too. I don't want to get into the whole Memphis thing again. Why did they say Milwaukee? LeBron, you didn't say the Bucks should leave Milwaukee, okay? It's completely different from what you said about Memphis. You said they should lose their team. Anyway, I don't want to get bogged down in that, but he did say there, I don't like going back home either. So I don't know, like, do we care?

They also get mad at my son being on the team, and that's totally based on merit. What are they talking about?

Hey, he was actually a kind of decent role player for them.

So look at you.

And he will be here in Miami as well. Developing on a—

well, that's, that's— we, we talk about the factors legitimately. I feel like LeBron understands that if— that the best thing for Bronny would be for Bronny to make the Lakers on his own merit, right? I mean, that, like, to drag— to attempt to drag Bronny at his next destination doesn't do the kid any favors.

If we're being honest here, I don't think Bronny would want to leave the Lakers and go with LeBron.

I agree. That's what I'm saying. What I think the best thing for him is to make the team, which he really might with the Lakers given their need on the wing. He might earn— he's not going to be a legitimate, real good NBA player. But for this season of the Lakers, he kind of fits what they need.

He's been in the NBA for 2 years now, Bronny. Forget about whether it's on his own merit and whether he actually deserves to be in the NBA. He's not an NBA player. But anyway, he's been in the NBA for 2 years. Being in the NBA is cool as hell when you're young. You got a lot of money, you get to travel places, you get to go to clubs. He's probably gonna be 21 soon, he'll get to go to the bars and do that kind of deal. And the entire time you're with your dad? You, like, you maybe just want to hang out with your friends on the team, but like, your dad is everywhere? What's that like, Chris? It's great. Like, wouldn't you want to just be a fun NBA player and not be around your father all the time? I don't think he would want— but that's a weird conversation, right? Because when LeBron tells him, hey, I'm going to Miami, we're gonna trade for you, is Bronny like, I don't know, man, I kind of like it here. Like, what— I want— how does that conversation possibly go down? As Dave, how does Bronny get to tell LeBron, I, I don't think so, Pop, like, I'm, I'm happy.

Great news, Bronny. I signed the deal. We're on our way back to Northeast Ohio. Dad, I think I'm going to hang back here. Like, what are you talking about, man? Like, what? Whatever he is, 23 years old. What kid would rather live in Cleveland than Los Angeles? Come on. There's all sorts of— And as you say, the idea of like after hours, after the game is over and you're in a foreign town, like all the other— Make friends. Well, not friends. Make new friends is what I'm getting at more. It's going to probably be hard. To make new friends when your dad is there with you.

There's a whole bunch of different stuff, though, where if you want to read into the different tea leaves of what's happening, there's recruitments, there's all sorts of stuff. But the Cleveland Cavaliers went and tweeted a random thread yesterday and everyone's doing content in the offseason. Like, I understand you have different things that you got to do, but I believe we might have those available to show the audience. But I'll just read what this Twitter thread says. It's from @Cavs. And so it starts with a slide The tweet says, did you say the same thing as us? Hashtag let them know.

That's their, their, their little hashtag.

And it says, if you say the same thing, you're out. Swipe to play.

So the following is like a new social media game, or are they just doing this on their own? I haven't seen it.

Seems like something they do on their own. Maybe I'm, I'm behind on the trend. But the first slide says, name a former number 1 overall pick. Yeah. So when I think of a former number 1 overall pick for the Cavs, obviously Anthony Bennett.

Oh, I think LeBron James.

They replied with Austin Carr. Interesting. Then they said, name a player from the 2016 championship team. Hmm. Now, mainly I think of LeBron James. Okay. They went with Iman Shumpert, and then they replied with just one more thing. Name a current Cavalier. And they went with Jaylen Tyson. But—

and for all of them, they put under the caption, you're out. Like, those are wrong answers. Right.

And so what I found to be very interesting here is the 3 things they chose: a former number 1 overall pick. Yeah. Guy who was on the 2016 championship team. Yeah. What about the last one? And now a current Cavalier. And I saw Cleveland Twitter was going nuts when this happened. Oh my God, it's happening. It's happening now. This is why they're doing this.

This is why they're doing it.

It feels like it is. And then nothing happened.

I'm also wondering, like, you have all these different things that are going on. Steph Curry also made a pitch. Jaylen Brown also sort of made a pitch. They were both kind of strange. The only ones being silent are right here that are involved in the conversation.

Yeah, but that's par for the course.

It's par for the course on what happens here in Miami. Like, it's just how it goes.

If I may offer up a diluter to one of the main sales pitches we always mention with Miami, I am not denying that they have a proud, tried and true history of developing talent, but it also is pretty myopic to think that other teams don't. They don't like this. Uh, Sam Merrill is one of the best shooters in the NBA. Dwyane Wade has become a big time— you just mentioned Tyson. Like, Cleveland's got guys that they've developed into big-time contributors to. I understand where we have our Miami Prism and we have the Tyler Johnson examples and the Max Struess examples. Vincent. Yeah, we have. Yeah. And Robinson. No, it's not going to do it.

It's going to list all the guys.

Yeah, but you're, you're taking a 10-year data point, right? And I'm just saying, like, very recently Cleveland can make the same pitch. Like the LA Lakers can point to Austin Reeves and say, look, look at what we did. He wasn't expected to be that. So So I think that you're probably overhyping what a selling point that is.

I do just want to— I do just want to make sure that I mention again, if they don't get LeBron, and I've kind of switched, I don't think they're going to get him anymore. I think it's going to be Cleveland. We shouldn't be disappointed. This offseason has been a grand slam offseason for the Miami Heat. Like, we should be totally good with what this team has done and super pumped about acquiring Giannis.