Transcript of Mike Breen's Premature Bangulation | Hour 2 New

This is the Dan Levatorre Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

Zazz, I don't know if you're surprised by this, but Roy Bellamy and Mike Ryan, they clearly over the last 2 years, Greg Cody as well, they know what a hockey champion looks like. They have become familiar with what it takes to win a hockey championship.

I've been watching a little of the hockey playoffs this year.

And Roy and Mike have said it's a bit of a foregone conclusion that the Colorado Avalanche are going to win the title over the United States of Tortorella. The United States of America. It ain't the United States of Tortorella. And everyone else in hockey. Do you believe, Zazz, that it's the foregone conclusion that Roy and Mike seem to think it is? Roy's doing a live watch-along tonight. The Colorado Avalanche hockey show and the Vegas Golden Knights. Roy and the group. That means Rose will be a star. That means Ethan will annoy you, and that means that if you want to watch hockey with the show, they will be doing it tonight. Do you believe it's a foregone conclusion? I'm not used to ever thinking the hockey playoffs are a foregone conclusion for anybody, but the people here around here who know what a champion looks like are telling me this is a foregone conclusion.

Based on what I've gathered from my foray into the Stanley Cup playoff this season, you know, when the Panthers aren't in it, I usually don't pay any attention, it's been told. Based on what I've seen, yes, I think Colorado is far and away the best team in the postseason, and I'm glad they are because you think I need the Carolina Hurricanes winning a Stanley Cup in my life? No, I don't need that.

Well, here's the thing. I think Vegas is dead last of the four. Carolina, according to the betting odds, Carolina is barely an underdog to Colorado to win it all. For me, it's Montreal. Montreal is my dark horse, my rooting interest. I think they're the reason that I'm still engaged in, in the playoffs.

You know, the Panthers had more wins this year than the Golden Knights. Like, how ridiculous is that, right? The Panthers had more wins. How many nights were under.500?

How many games were left when the Golden Knights fired their coach? How many games in the season were left before they decided to get rid of their coach?

Felt like 6 or 7.

It's crazy.

I have a prediction to make here. I don't make many of these. I have a prediction to make on OKC and San Antonio. Before the end of that series, there will be made the loud public accusation that the OKC Thunder are trying to hurt Wemby. Before the end— before that series is over, there will be a story that they're not going to just give their championship to this guy. Like, if it's unfair, they're going to try to hurt him. And I, I think we're going to have a controversy by playing good defense.

Uh, or no, that's a good take.

By playing tough. No, by that Lou Dort, by him flopping, by dorting.

I've seen him flop. I've seen him throw himself into the stands.

They're gonna dork—

such a hater.

They're gonna dork at his knees.

Caruso's at the sides of his knees.

He's just trying to play defense.

You like that prediction, Jazz? Do you think that before— in the— that there's going to be the story they're trying to hurt him, and it's going to create a story around him as the guy who had the dirtiest play in the entire postseason, where he becomes a little, uh, embryo that must be protected from all harm?

All it is is Wemby-led media, Dan. It's just everybody on the— in the can for Wemby. You are the biggest hater in the world. How am I supposed to like this sport, guys? I love this sport, by the way. I loved it when you guys said it was bad. I was still loving it. What I'm doing is me protecting it à la Mike when he did a couple years ago, but for a different reason.

So I love this sport so much that it offends me when the sport is bad. The fact that you still love it when it's bad, that actually means that I love it more than you.

Impossible.

Because I find the great inside of it. Watch when it's bad.

No, I find the great inside of it. Right, you think the game's bad, it's a 30-point blowout? Wow, look at all the threes they hit.

When I think it's bad, you're like a fan who keeps going to games and giving the team your money when the team is terrible, okay? If the team is terrible—

'Cause I'm a real fan.

I stay away because I need the team to be better. Bandwagoner is what we call you.

We're here on site.

You watch no matter what.

No, you're a bandwagoner.

If the game's not good, I stay away 'cause I'm a bigger fan than you.

Tony, I love you, but Zazz is a two-time champion broadcaster.

That's right.

And he's turned his back on the franchise.

Uh, Greg Cody, do you have your countdown catchphrases ready? Because we have a lot of them to get to. The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody has been successfully executing a joke for many, many months now.

It's true. It's, it's, uh, a surprisingly successful bit that my show has been able to pull off. And it is. We're doing 2 a week. We're now at top 60, so it's going to end up being like a half a year worth of bit.

With also controversially, we learned last week that the top 50 had been extended for no real good reason other than disorganization to a top 60. So that kind of thing. Let's do it right now. Please stop talking to your inner monolog at any point. Okay. I'd prefer you breathe with those giant nostrils into the microphone.

Number 60.

I'm fuller than Vern Fuller. 59, where's my click click? 58, hey Butterfinger! 57, punt! 56, Scranton! 55, I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger. 54, Georgia! Georgia! 53, I'm the kind of guy that— 52, ballin' the jack. 51, hey hey with the Monkees, baby! 50, thank you Billy. 49, I love 'em like a pet. 48, who made a salad? 47, we're rollin' now, huh? 46, your brain beat me. 45, let's go States. 44, driver comfort is paramount. 43, dummy up, save up. 42, catch as catch can. 41, doesn't make it right. 40, so on and so forth. 39, very good. 38, the Little League theory. 37, nice hat, asshole. 36, the others, they all learn from me. 35, don't go showering to try to please me. 34, look at that jerk. 33, it's like a packing house in here. 32, would you learn. 31, hee haw 3, ba day up. 30, I'm not gonna take a quiz. 29, sassafras. 28, would we break a window? 27, hello. 26, who won? 25, trailers for sale or rent. 24, you gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die. 23, 3 words, we are the Lobos.

And now, Number 22.

You're going to go to Buffalo with Bernie Carmely.

Whoa.

Wow.

Classic. Didn't even make the top 20.

Just played Hey Jude.

Does that mean we still have one more to update? Oh my God. So this is very exciting. We are so close to the top 20, although he might change it again next week and make it the top 70.

He's going to remember 10 more.

Yes, that's right.

So you never know. You never know.

Part of the joint.

I want to know, yeah, before you give out your second new one this week, number 21, which, which phrases now for the rest of the way are the ones that you had to add to extend from 50 to 60?

I didn't have to add any. We always had a surplus from which to—

he botched it so much that when we looked with 14 left, there were 25 good ones. So we were like, this is an easy ad.

Again, uh, really sloppy the way this was done to start the list before you had completed the list.

And so your brain beat me.

Tomorrow we will, uh, bring on Boogshambi and see how many of those, as part of a charitable effort that we're helping Boogshambi with, he will sneak onto a Cubs broadcast.

Oh man.

Uh, and we're gonna try and do that, uh, tomorrow with Boogshambi.

Uh, that would be a dream come true.

Uh, what I'd also like to do though, uh, before we get to this next update, can you guys please explain to me, because I really don't want to get numb to this, Pablo Torre has won a national magazine award. I don't know what that is. He does not write for a magazine. So now he won the Pulitzer, and I thought that was a writing prize. He won it for audio reporting as we modernize our awards. Is it for magazine shows? What is a National Magazine Award?

Well, the best way I can explain this is, what do you refer to as 60 Minutes? They're, they're a news magazine. They take a magazine-style approach to their storytelling, and that's what Pablo does with his. And that's why the— this group of editors from magazines across the country decided to honor him.

And this is the award for outstanding podcasting. Which beat out NPR and the Wall Street Journal. So the 61st Annual National Magazine Awards were announced by the American Society of Magazine Editors, and this was at a gala hosted in New York City.

All three of—

it's not a magazine. Well, those editors run magazines, right?

60 Minutes is a news magazine, and Pablo Torre Finds Out is a magazine.

But are those editors the editors of news magazines, or are they editors of physical copies of physical written magazines.

I mean, this award in particular was just for podcasting, and NPR and The Wall Street Journal were involved in it. Those aren't magazines. Those are different types of publications.

So just for the record, because I'm not feigning ignorance here, I don't understand the modernization of the Pulitzer makes it so that the Pulitzer, which I had always associated with being the top prize in writing, no longer requires writing to be part of the award. Are you telling me this is normally a written award that they've created another category for? And now Pablo Torre has what is considered in America the finest news magazine type show there is, as people voting from printed magazines are voting on, because Wall Street Journal and NPR are the top of the food chain on making good things. Um, in these modern times, and I'd just like a clarification because I'm not understanding normally what these awards are given for.

What I like to imagine is some editor from Maxim is ripping a vape and saying, "I like Pablo." The American Society of Magazine Editors, which was founded in 1963, is the principal organization for the editorial leaders of magazines and websites published in the United States. So the awards first started in 1966 in association with the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. The judging happened in January at Columbia. More than 300 writers, editors, art directors, photo editors, and journalism educators participated in the judging, working in small groups to choose the finalists and ultimately the winners. The awards are in 18 different categories, and the winner in each category receives an ele modeled on the symbol of the awards, Alexander Calder's Elephant Walking. Add it to the list of stuff that I was telling Pablo yesterday where he was like, what do you mean me? And I'm like, yeah, you're in the super futuristic building looking down at everybody. Now you got this award that looks like an art piece.

Like, oh, okay.

Do you guys feel like Mina and Pablo are kicking Nick's ass? Because—

Oh yeah.

No, dude.

No.

Nick goes and wires $150 grand to the winner and plays poker all night. Dude, he's sick. Amina got $1 million, $1 million for, for, for Jeopardy! Give it to charity.

That's what the editor of FHM said when he was like voting against—

It was actually me.

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Limited time offer. Don Libertard!

Is there Back in My Day?

There is, actually.

What?

Were you not going to tell anyone?

Wait a minute, you guys, guys, it's a Tuesday. 2 Gods.

Here's your guy, Greg Cody, with Back in My Day.

Shit, I hope I have it. Okay, here it is. Sorry. Adultery.

That— yeah, wait a minute, that is waiting for this one.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stu Gods.

Mina has won. I think she'll be on with us later. She's won like 3 game shows and she's also hosting the spelling bee. Nick Wright challenged both Mina and Pablo. Nick Wright's not winning any of the awards. Pablo's winning awards from people who write for things that aren't written.

It's pretty amazing the fact that this guy is winning every award for every publication, for everything, every place that's like, hmm, where is there good podcasting? Where is there good journalism in podcasting?

Oh, yeah.

Pablo Torre Finds Out.

Honestly, I want to be that guy. I'm giving a free tip right now to any aspiring other podcast magazines. Someone needs to investigate the lobbying arm of Pablo Torre Finds Out because awards are a very political thing. All right. So if you want to make your name and win some of these awards, investigate this team. I'm telling you, this doesn't just happen because of good work.

Look, let's be honest, we're all being selfish. Pavel's being selfish, Mina's being selfish, everybody's being selfish in their own way, in their own way, right? Pavel's never given me a dime. Mina Kimes, never given me a dime.

That's right. Nick Wright gave me a stack.

That's my guy.

Uh, understand that you can be bought, but I don't think he's winning this particular war when they're winning all the awards and he's not.

But how are they winning it? Tune in.

But if you said to me right now, if you, if you said to me right now You can either for the rest of your life be Pablo or Nick. I'm going with Nick. It must be AIPAC.

There should be an award for winning most awards, like an annual award that oversees all of the entirety of awards, and Pablo has just won the award for winning most awards.

It's a little further back.

Pablo!

Greg, I am maintaining, and I think I could say this flatly You guys, would you guys agree or disagree with what I'm saying, that in the history— so on one end we're talking about Pablo winning, uh, awards that are normally given from writers to writers for writing, uh, for things that are not written. And in the other category we have Greg Cody who cannot speak into a microphone, but when you don't want him breathing too loud, he's extra close to the microphone. I believe that this is unprecedented in the history of broadcasting. Do you guys think I have this wrong? I'm also going to start being further away.

There should be an award for that. Why don't I win an award if I'm the best at that?

Well, you're the only one at that, so—

Exactly.

You're not competing with anybody.

That means you name the award after me.

You never know. Zaslo, do you believe that this has ever been seen before in the history of broadcasting, the problem that Greg continues to have with just simple broadcasting?

I told you, and I knew this from the start, some days you just know. You can tell right away. This has been a Hall of Fame breathing performance.

We haven't even mentioned it. We mentioned it early in the show. He's been on it today with the breathing.

What's your next update? The final update for the week on catchphrases.

Okay, number— just to refresh, number 22 was, "You're gonna go to Buffalo." You want to refresh the whole thing?

Can we refresh the whole thing?

He might die.

Are you serious?

Yeah, I just— I'd just like another update on just the whole thing before we get to the last.

That backfired on you there, Greg. You thought you were saying something cute by saying just a refresher. Now you're starting over.

I want to refresh the whole thing. Give Dan an inch.

Alright, number 60, I'm Fuller and Vern Fuller. 59, where's my click click? 58, hey Butterfinger. 57, punt. 56, Scranton. 55, I'm visiting a one-armed paper hanger. 54, Georgia, Georgia. 53, I'm the kind of guy that— 52, ballin' the jack. 51, hey hey with the Monkees, baby. 50, thank you Billy. 49, I love 'em like a pet. 48, who made it a salad? 47, We're rolling now, huh? 46, your brain beatin' me. 45, let's go States. 44, driver comfort is paramount. 43, dummy up, say bop. 42, catch as catch can. 41, doesn't make it right. 40, so on and so forth. 39, very good. 38, the Little League theory. 37, nice hat, asshole. 36, the others, they all learn from me. 35, don't go showerin' to try to please me. 34, look at that jerk. 33, it's like a packing house in here. 32, what'd you learn? 31, hee haw, three, ba-dap. 30, I'm not gonna take a quiz. 29, sassafras. 28, would we break a window? 27, hello. 26, who won? 25, trailers for sale or rent. 24, you gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die. 23, three words, we are the Lobos.

And now, 22, you're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley. And number 21, Rappycack. I'm out of breath.

Breathe into the mic.

Ah, I'm out of breath.

Now, Rappycack is more, uh, a home one than one that he's done a lot around here, I would say, but it is a staple. It is anytime you're trying to tickle my dad. You know, remember at the old studios, Dan, when I'd come in and tickle him? That's what he calls rappy cacking. If I'm tickling you, if I'm jostling, rappy cacking, right?

That's correct.

Can I ask something?

Yeah.

Who, who are you quoting that says— who are you quoting when you got you?

He got you.

He got your ass. You're an idiot.

Nice hat, asshole.

You know, it doesn't even matter what I was going to say. It's been built up too much. They're moving on.

You fell that one time in the chair.

Waving the white flag. So rappy cack, so rappy cacking. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Have you ever heard the phrase rappy cack? Put also on the poll, have you ever heard, uh, have you ever used the phrase rappy cack? And also put on the poll, do you know what rappy cack means? What you're saying is just the physical job, the roughhousing of someone.

My brother and I have always That's how we've— rappy cack is, hey, stop, quick, quick, quick, I'll break your finger off, quick, rappy cackin' me.

He had—

what did you say on the show that your definition of it was slightly different?

Okay, it emanates from the great Dolphins original expansion era broadcaster Rick Weaver, who thought so much of himself he used to have a vanity license plate that said The Voice.

The great play-by-play guy.

Yeah, right?

And it's a great license plate too.

Rick Weaver. Anyway, Rick Weaver used to refer to rappy cacking as a particularly hard hit. Like if a linebacker just flattened the running back, he would say, he got rappy cacked. And I've never been able to determine the origin of that. I think it might be a Midwestern, Ohio-ish type thing, but I adopted it and made it my own. That's what I did.

I have texted Mike Breen here to find out if that has ever happened to him before. We will find out hopefully before the end of the show. Maybe he'll come on with us.

Yeah, let's clear our throat.

I'm hoping to get a hold of Mike Breen. We will see. Do you think it's happened to him before?

No. And matter of fact, while I was watching the game— now granted, I, I, you know, I don't have the volume on very loud, tablet time, don't want to wake my wife up— I didn't even notice that it happened when I was watching.

If you have not heard it, uh, get it again here, Chris Cody, please, because, uh, he is the consummate professional, and I wonder if he suffers this.

Merrill, 3-pointer, in and out!

That one halfway down!

Kaboom! In and out!

That's how my dad talks, with B's in front of everything.

I love that.

But hello, it's a good call for the moment.

3-pointer in and out!

I mean, that, that speaks to how it was almost in.

The ball was like 92% in.

3-pointer in and out!

Perfect for the moment.

If it were a radio call, it would have been perfect way to describe it for everyone to see exactly what was happening.

If it were a radio call, it'd be, he hit it.

No.

Merrill, 3-pointer, in and out!

That one halfway down! Premature bangulation.

Yesterday, Michelle Beadle had premature celebration. Today, Zaslo, who just got torched by Cody, gives you premature bangulation or bamulation. It's not good enough. That was bang. Yeah, sorry, I was doing my bam catchphrase from PTI back when I had catchphrases. Speaking of which, my father— we'll see if I'll be able to get to this today— my father has objected to both Mike, actually all three of the top 10 lists of Mike Ryan and me and Valerie about things that we have done as a show to piss off ESPN. He has a different list of 10 things we have done to piss off ESPN that he thinks is better than Valerie's list. We'll see if we get to it today. Before we do that, though, Zazzle, what happened with you begging the audience and sponsors? Oh, for a couch.

Great update.

Okay. I'm— but what?

So embarrassing.

I'm begging for anything.

No, you were begging for it.

You stood right next to me, you begged.

I'm not begging for anything.

You stood right next to me.

There are advertisers out there, there are potential sponsors who may want to get in on my show, Zaslow Show 2.0. This is not a beg, this is a partnership opportunity. You're standing right here, you said, "Please, I need a new couch." I do need a new couch, and maybe they need a sponsorship opportunity. Alright, this is how you work together.

Zaslow 2.0 has blown up in recent months, it has exploded. Juju reprimanded me saying that it's all because of Zaslo's hard work. I claim that it might have something to do with his affiliation with our show.

Regardless, can't tell for sure.

Neither here nor there, it doesn't really matter. Either way, his show has blown up. What's happening with you begging for a couch?

Yeah, so I, I, I just— I'm, I'm done with the couch in the Zaslo Mansion family room. I don't like it. All right, I want a new couch. And my wife says, we just got done paying for this couch. I'm like, I don't care! So I'm— Dan, we know what wives love, alright? So she doesn't want to waste any of the thing that she loves. So I want a new couch, and I'm looking for sponsors. So I get a message last night, Dan. Our friend Brad Williams. Brad Williams sent me a text message last night, and he— all out— and he says, "I'll buy you a couch if every time you mention the Zaslo mansion you say the Zaslo Mansion featuring the Brad Williams couch. Listen to his podcast Heightened Babble and see him on tour. The couch brought to you by Bad Blooms.

I mean, our audience has to come up with a better offer than that, so it's not—

No, I think that's awesome. Are you happy about that? Now, would this be a normal-sized couch?

Well, what are you saying, am I happy? Like, are you doing a thing there where it's like, you know, Zaslo, are you willing to take a couch? Because, you know, there are people out there, Dan, it's like 'Oh, you know, I'm too proud to accept things. You know, I don't take charity.' I'm not one of those people. I'll take things from anyone.

But you're gonna do that mouthful of sponsored— like, you're going to cheapen the sponsorships all around that sponsorship by doing that mouthful every time? You're selling basically— because of a guy— because someone buys you a couch, you're basically offering a presenting sponsorship to an exploding podcast that cheapens all the other advertising?

That's the question, all right? Like, when I'm on ESPN ESPN Radio, I say all the time— I reference the Zazzle Mansion all the time. So on ESPN, am I also saying featuring the Brad Williams couch, listen to his podcast Hike and Babble and see him on tour? The couch brought to you by Brad Williams.

No, you got to negotiate that down. You got to negotiate it down to the Zazz Mansion brought to you by Brad.

Or get a better offer from somebody else in our audience who wants that sponsorship and is willing to not allow it to be, uh, something that Brad Williams both gets cheap and cheapens your broadcast with. Like somebody Somebody can do it better than Brad Williams if you're offering that kind of value.

Don Lebatard.

That's how it's going to end. The mailing it in end of the retirement. Chris, go get me this. It's just going to be him coming out and hitting the one or two notes of that kind of thing. And you know it. And then just giving us finger guns and leaving.

Baby, you should listen to the Great Cody Show podcast because that's all we do for 55 minutes a week is just say catchphrases. We even make songs about them. The "And You Know It" is a song, for crying out loud. It's great. Hopefully that's a SUI nominee for best song. And you know it, baby, and you know it.

Stoogats!

And you know it, baby, and you know it. And you know it, baby, and you know it. And you know it, baby, and you know it.

This is the Don Levatar Show with the Stoogats! Brad wants to do this. Like, he's excited about this opportunity.

I'll outbid Brad Williams. I'll buy you a couch if you sponsor— say that it's brought to you by the Great Cody Show.

So the same offer?

Be true. The same? Okay, but you need to make it less of a mouthful so it sounds less cheapening. You have to offer something that's less of a mouthful by telling Zach.

Yeah, what do I do?

Here's what you do. Okay, you say the Zazz Mansion brought to you by the Greg Cody Show.

We're gonna say my whole name though, Zazzlo.

Okay, the Zazzlo Mansion brought to you by the Greg Cody Show with Greg Cody featuring— no, not featuring, with the Greg Cody Show with Greg Cody. And then what? What else are we gonna—

how many times do I gotta do that? Every time I mention the Zazzlo Mansion.

Okay, no, no, we're gonna keep it short.

Random evidence of a cluttered—

no. Boy, that's a throwback. That's a throwback. Next thing you know, you'll be referring to the Prep Prophet, which was the name of my column when I covered high school.

I have a new poll question. Go ahead.

No, it's the Zazzle.

Check it out.

The Zazzle Mansion. Brought to you by the Greg Cody Show with Greg Cody.

Very good.

That's what you have to say.

How often?

Every time you refer to the Zazzle Mansion.

Cody's Corner, CBS. Ah, the time before that, Mike, the time before that is the loudest I have ever heard Greg Cody laugh at you simply pressing on the narcissism of knowing the terrible name of the blog column that he used to write, which was Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog.

No, Cluttered Mind.

But then it became Cluttered Blog.

It became Cluttered Blog. Look at these guys.

And occasionally featured on Paul and Young Rod.

That's true too.

I've never heard Greg laugh that loud at something that delighted him so much.

That was just Paul, the Prep Prophet.

Rest in peace.

Paul's alive. Paul's alive. Yeah.

Wait, you can hear it? Nice hat, asshole. Where are we with the sponsorship? Because I believe you should get a new couch, and I also believe that you should adhere to certain rules and that you should make people compete for the right to buy you that couch.

We have two competing.

Yeah, now that's all you need is two competing offers, and now you got yourself a real, uh, you got a real hoedown situation.

What are you gonna do with your old couch? Let me get your old couch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can pick it up.

Yeah, it's a good couch. It's a good leather. Okay.

You just finished paying it off, right?

Yeah.

Your wife called it.

Yeah, it's a great couch. It's just not a couch that he likes.

You know, it's a big couch.

It's big. It's got two seats that recline.

Okay.

It's got cupholders.

Okay.

It's got iPhone chargers. The old version of the iPhone, not the USB-C. Can't do anything about that. But it's a good couch. Leather.

Leather.

Really? Not Naga hide?

Beige.

You got a dog?

I do have a dog.

Dogs can age a couch.

Is it dirty? No, I mean, just because animals— animals can make it—

urinate on it.

We meant USB.

No, no, college in California and South Carolina.

No, no, the new iPhones, it's called a USB-C. No.

Oh, it's maybe— maybe talking to yourself.

Maybe.

Please stop arguing with your inner monolog.

No one hears it.

All right, we may be on to something here. I have one podcast that wants to sponsor the couch. I have another podcast that wants to sponsor the couch. The thing is here, Brad Williams wants me to say it every time I mention the Zazzle Mansion. Am I doing that for you as well? Every time?

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. But I'm a shorter phrase. You just got to say, brought to you by the Greg Cody Show with Greg Cody.

Very good. Featuring.

And that's it.

So the— it's still pretty annoying though. Like, you've got two competing offers that are making you say a mouthful every time, and he's now got an impersonation. I'm not sure his is better if he makes you say "very good." I don't think he's actually made you a better offer than the one Brad Williams made you, because he's making you make a sound that makes it even more obvious that you're cheapening the sponsorships all around you on your podcast.

Zazz would have to audition and convince me that he can say "very good" in the spirit it is meant.

Okay, that's not how it works. Like, that is cheapening the sponsor when I have to audition for a sponsorship.

Okay, if you simply say "very good," that doesn't cut it.

Zaslow, I bet I can find a buyer for your other couch.

So hold on a second.

Just reach out to the Vice President. He just wishes that it was a little more dirty.

That's my couch, dude.

What are you doing?

Greg Cody, we have not talked quite enough about the approaching World Cup. The thing that I hear people talking about when the conversation points start are things that don't quite have to do with play. It's expensive tickets. It's Iran, Italy. It's stuff that doesn't have to do with what we're going to be doing in the coming months, which is talking about the action. As it relates to Inter Miami and what you were saying yesterday on the show, Mike Ryan objects. You came on and said something different than what we said. We've talked about this quite a bit, the absurdity of the Inter Miami La Familia fan base, a very devoted fan base withholding its song, withholding in protest and in silence its support of Messi and Inter Miami because they have not been kind enough to simply give them a gesture of we acknowledge acknowledge your support. It is one of the silliest, uh, back and forths you will ever see. But when you're talking about fandom and, and the zealotry involving fandom and identity, it also pays for everything. Like, legitimately, people caring that way is what pays for everything. So while you side with Messi and say he's given you enough, Mike Ryan basically objected to everything you were saying yesterday.

I, I There's a lot of people that have this opinion, and it's a very American sports opinion. MLS soccer is different, but Inter Miami is trying to separate itself from MLS too and try to be this big global brand. I think a lot of people weighing in on the discussion aren't aware of how these supporters sections work and how they do these supporters sections, often in concert with the club, because the club loves having these supporters clubs out there making these festive atmospheres. They're, they're in constant communication. There's someone staffed on Inter Miami who one of their main obligations is to cater to supporters clubs, to make sure things like a festive atmosphere and word of mouth. Hey, did you check out Inter Miami? Was a— it was a hell of a party. And it helps the team too, because it's often subscribed to in that sport. Supporters section help the players. It always helps the players.

Perform.

It's always a— it's literally a supporters club that never wavers. You could be sent down, they could occasionally voice displeasure, but they have your back through thick and thin. And what they're asking for may seem ridiculous to the likes of Joe Rose or your local sports anchor because they're not familiar with how this culture is. But within that culture and within every single player that has ever come up through every rank of soccer globally that is on that roster right now, they understand the deal. I can understand you thinking that, man, this is silly because it is— what we're talking about is a silly thing. But if it's embedded within the culture of the sport, it's a respect thing.

I don't think— I don't think it's silly, okay? It is the simple human need of acknowledge us. When I talk to you about what happened to the Knicks last night, those supporters feel like they willed that result. Inter Miami is a champion. You can disagree all you want whether the customer support actually matters. The customer thinks the support matters. These customers think the support matters more than most customers. They've won the championship and they want— they have the basic human need of wanting the smallest acknowledgment.

A little bit more context before you get into it. The supporter sections for this club in particular, pre- date the club, right? The Southern Legion was out at community hearings fighting for this. Like, they were tapped into the political aspects of getting this club off the ground, right?

No, I understand that fans in any sport everywhere and magnified in international soccer, they think they're the heartbeat of whatever home field advantage is. I get that. Okay. And I get that. Look, if there's a business relationship between Inter Miami and the organized supporter sections and the business relationship says, the contract says, you gotta go like this, you gotta go like this to the fans once a game, then they need to do that. But a point I made in the column I wrote was the organized fans are complaining that in the new stadium they haven't been acknowledged. A point I made is they started off with 3 draws and a loss in the new stadium. 3 draws to teams they thought they were better than and a blown lead loss to their arch rival. There aren't many— there aren't many players in any sport who, after losing, after not winning for 4 straight games, are going to be in a mood to go like this right at the end zone.

I hear you. Are there many fans? Are there many fans that would feel like clapping?

Yeah. If Messi's playing—

no, no, no.

Are there many fans that would feel like applauding their Warriors that go do battle after what you said, 3 embarrassing losses. Because while the players don't feel like that, most fans don't feel like that either. I've left many a stadium disgusted with an effort and not wanted to applaud my guys. Supporters clubs though, those sections, they always do, no matter what.

And all of a sudden they're turning off all the noise because they haven't been acknowledged enough? Yes, it seems pretty—

because, because those people can actually argue they are more of a fan than anyone is. They can argue they go well above and beyond what is assumed a fan should do. Okay, they cheer, they sing constantly, 90 minutes, sometimes more, even when they blow a big lead to their rivals and have an embarrassing situation at home. As they're a club in turmoil and transition, blowing out their manager, they sing.

Okay. And there's fans elsewhere in the stadium, and I've talked to some of them who are sort of annoyed that people are chanting and banging a drum the whole game. The point is, you can be any kind of fan you want to be, and you can cheer if you want, and you can show up if you want. You don't have to. And they're great fans. They're great fans in that end zone. But I think it's when you have a championship team that includes Lionel Messi, I just think, man, you speak to most fans, though.

You say that you can choose to be whatever fan you want to be. And most Inter Miami season ticket holders are. But the supporters club, they don't choose what kind of fan they want to be. Okay. Through thick and thin, they are always at 11 for their club.

Every other, every other Fandom in MLS would love to have Lionel Messi on there.

Yes, Greg, I believe that the part that you're right on is that withholding your support can be seen by any person who doesn't care this way as small and petty, incredibly small, incredibly petty. But I can also argue on the end, what they're requesting is the very smallest thing. It's a bare minimum ask on, can you make a gesture that acknowledges 90 minutes of us pouring out our heart for the team? You can't ask for less than that. It's the smallest ask.

It is. And here's my point, though, okay? The fan— the fan has a championship team with the biggest athlete on the globe. That's what the fans have. Okay, but they're not going to be happy until the athlete goes like this. That's weird to me. That's weird to me.

Okay. You say it's weird. And yet if a person, an athlete is in the grocery store and you want to take a picture with him and he says no to you, do you think that it's weird to get mad at that person?

I—

a player. And I know there was the—

That's not the same.

There was—

They're in the sand zone. Rappi Kack.

It was the famous Publix photo of him, so I know that when I'm saying this. Lionel Messi's not in the grocery store taking selfies, okay? And I don't blame any celebrity for politely withholding a selfie.

They're looking at me like we gotta end the segment, Greg. I mean, I can feel the weight of Dan's eyes right now piercing a hole through our soul.

Mike tried to give us the out with the voice modulator. I didn't take it because I needed to finish my point because In the last few years, gone are my platforms of Paul and Young Ron and Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog. Now this is all I have. Folks, listen up.

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