Transcript of Michelle Beadle Prematurely Celebrates | Hour 1 New

This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz Podcast. This episode of the Dan Lebatard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

I will say it again, it is the greatest call in sports history, knocking out Do You Believe in Miracles by Al Michaels. It is Matt Pinto of the Oklahoma City Thunder radio network. Wemby Nyama has it, left wing castle. Patrolling Wemby, lean in, 30-foot 3 to tie. Is in there. 26.3 to play. Biggest play of the season. Is in there. And so crushing that the announcer can't get any emotion except for defeated despondence. Is in there. 26.3 to play. 30-foot 3-pointer is in there to tie the game. 30-foot 3 to tie. Is in there.

It's the biggest play of the season.

Not for the Spurs. The league, 30-foot 3 to tie, is in there. We go now to our Spurs correspondent Michelle Beadle. Michelle, welcome. Go!

Thank you. Yes, thanks for having me, guys. Um, I just want to point out that candles were lit last night. The voodoo was, uh, successful. And this is what happens when you hand an MVP award out in front of a man who very much thought he deserved the MVP award, à la Hakeem Olajuwon, David Robinson. And it was absolutely glorious, nerve-wracking, infuriating at times, annoying by way of Alex Caruso, and just one of the most glorious, satisfying games I've ever witnessed. That 3, you know, if you have close neighbors, we all lost our minds. It's insane. Just, it looked like a movie had been scripted this way. I have listened to former players, legends, Hall of Famers run out of words in describing Victor Wembanyama. And we are just starting this movie. And I'd also like to point out, Chet Holmgren should probably find some pride. Uh, you need to deal with Wemby. I know you don't like him. I know he's your boogeyman, but you have to. You've known this kid since you guys were in your early teens. You've been playing against each other, and you disappear when this man is on the floor.

And I'm only saying this as a friend, obviously. Glorious, guys. One of the greatest games I've ever watched in my entire life. We're going to the finals, baby. Okay, sorry, that part was not— edit that. Thank you.

Edit it out.

Thank you, Michelle. Uh, we'll get out of here.

Clip that.

I'm gonna clip that and save that for later.

We'll talk to you next time. Thank you for being on with us.

Those two must have looked so awkward at age 13.

Uh, I wonder if Chet Holmgren says to himself I could have been born at any time in history, and I had to be born when this guy was born?

She's absolutely right. Have some pride, man. Look in the mirror. You're soft, you're weak. Whenever number one gum shows in the town, where are you? You're as tall as a mouse.

He can't look in the mirror because he's taller than the mirror.

You get the mirror, you pick it up, and you hold it where your eyesight is.

Like in a hotel, like, all right, I look good.

No, he doesn't look good. You know why? Because Wembley's there and he's scared. Where's Wembley? He turned into a mouse. He turned into 1 foot tall. Okay, like right here, go up and stand up, throw an elbow, do something, man.

Shouldn't that have been goaltending late in the game? Come on, this is not allowed to just throw the ball into the rim and he catches it and just drops it in. That was on— that, that was goaltending.

Imagine when he's fully grown to 8'1".

I don't care if it wasn't goaltending, that should be goaltending. Everyone agrees with me.

Tony hates the Spurs in a way that I think is unreasonable.

He was just telling me a few minutes ago, I, I can't get over— I still can't get over 2014.

It's true.

When the Spurs beat the Heat. I'm like, there's no— there's no difference.

Where's your pride? Where's your pride? Where's your pride? You were there.

Popovich—

You saw it happen.

I know I was there, but I don't care.

They turned the AC off.

Popovich isn't there anymore. Leonard, Duncan, like, it's not a thing.

But here's the thing. You're thinking of it as a person. I'm thinking of it as the organization, as what they— the stain they are on the league, the San Antonio Spurs.

Nobody thinks that.

I think that. And there's dozens with me somewhere.

Stain and pride.

Somewhere listening to me being like, you know what?

Yeah, I don't like the Spurs? Oh, what, they get lucky with the lottery, they got a generational player after getting lucky in the lottery the last time getting a generational player, and they just go on a run of 5 titles?

And they are, they are the luckiest team in the history of the lottery.

But does that make you wonder that they are? Does that make you wonder?

You know, it is kind of bullshit because it's one thing to land 3 number 1 overall picks when, well documented, the Miami Heat have never moved up in the lottery. But the 3 times that the Spurs get the number 1 overall pick It happens to be each year we know there's a transcendent player. Robinson, Duncan, Wemba Nyama. Like, it wasn't a surprise.

And they got Kawhi in there too.

Hall of Famers everywhere, and everybody just wants them to be like these little go, you know, go underdog Spurs. Yeah, go Spurs, go. No, no, absolutely not. They're Darth Vader.

Okay, put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Are the Spurs Darth Vader and a stain on the league? Uh, I don't— they hadn't won a playoff series since 2017, right? Do I have that correct? Has it been— has it It's literally been 9 years since—

yeah, when Shaq took out Kawhi Leonard, that was the end.

Yeah, you can't be Darth Vader if you have a long spell of not being dominant.

Darth Vader with a 9-year losing streak running the galaxy.

Oh my bad, the 5 titles in 17 years didn't do it for you, Greg?

Uh, no, it's what have you done for me lately, you know?

Thank you for leaning into the mic.

Yeah, thanks.

Let's do Movies with Your Father. He's reeling because he doesn't like that his ignorance is on display here.

All right, Greg doing terrible so far. 0 for 2, not even close to getting one right. Let's see what number 3 is.

Do you like apples?

Yeah.

Well, I got a number. How do you like them apples?

This is breathtaking.

Why can't you give me a normal—

They are normal, Greg. We're giving—

Everybody would—

Greg, we're giving you easy ones. Do you recognize the voice? No.

Do you like apples?

Yeah.

Well, I got a number. How do you like them apples?

How do you like them apples?

It's as iconic a movie line as there is.

How do you like them apples is just one— it's probably top 10 most iconic movie lines ever.

Um, sounds like a mob movie.

I may have overstated it.

Could be a Danny DeVito character.

Um, no, from all those mob movies DeVito did, right?

Yeah, you can't— by the way, how do you like them apples cannot be called one of the greatest lines in movie history.

Are you talking about Joe Pesci or Danny DeVito?

I'm talking about Pesci.

Okay, you said DeVito, that's why I'm not sure.

Which was a mob movie, really. Jimmy Hoffa? Yeah, that's the name of the movie, Jimmy Hoffa.

How do you like them apples?

Is that true? No. Oh, what was it called?

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon wrote this movie.

Ah, look at that.

Robin Williams showing the answer. Okay, Good Will Hunting.

Yeah, yeah, I've heard of the movie.

What do you think an easy one sounds like? I'm curious, like, what is a movie line that you would consider easy? Because we think we're giving you easy ones, uh, so what What— we gave you The Godfather. What, like, what would—

The Godfather, I wouldn't know.

But, well, you didn't know it last week.

I have one here. I got one here. Let's throw him a softball.

We've been, we've been throwing him softball.

He said I would get The Godfather. We gave him The Godfather.

He didn't know it. This is what I would call my dad's, like, window for movies. Like, I know he knows this movie, so let's see.

You're gonna need a bigger boat. Oh yeah, okay, that's Jaws, of course.

Thank you.

I mean, that was a beach ball.

That's in my wheelhouse.

Sometimes you just gotta throw them a little, you gotta tickle them a little.

I was going to movies back then. I still reject that that's a horror film. I don't think it is, but a great movie.

Greatest horror movie of all time, put it on the poll at LeBittard Show, is Jaws. It is considered the greatest horror movie of all time, even though it's not considered a horror movie. Greg Cody continues to insist it's not a horror movie.

A man was eaten by a shark.

It doesn't matter. That doesn't make it horrible.

Many, many people—

it doesn't make it right.

It doesn't make it right. You're right.

You want to do one more?

Here's another one.

Wemba Nyama has it, left wing castle, trailing Wemby, leaning 30-foot-3 to tie, is in there. 26.3 to play.

What movie is that? I'd like to see a movie made out of that. Are you kidding me? But this guy's getting a lot of, uh, a lot of stick, a lot of, uh, criticism. What do you expect them to do? Be— is start celebrating the, the score? He's with the enemy broadcast team. What's he supposed to do? Act like it's a wonderful shot? You know, he's supposed to do exactly what he did.

I don't think people are saying it's a bad call. We're just laughing at his pain.

Okay, that's fair.

And it's— and it's muted pain, right? Because I would say what he's supposed to do is die a little bit in anguish, not try and smother it down with a lack of emotion, pretending it's a regular—

I don't care—

game.

Yeah.

A Game 4 first period. Wemby Nyama has it. Left wing, Castle patrolling. Wemby leaning, 30-foot 3 to tie is in there. 26.3 to play.

He actually— he acts like he knew that it was going in. He didn't know. No.

Well, what happened there— I will tell you what happened there. The 26.3 to play is just a coping mechanism. He was defeated and he's just like, let me give the— I'm going to look at the clock and give the time because that hurt me. So 30-foot free to tie is in there. 26.3 to play. Speaking of the movies though, I wanted to accentuate John Travolta's new look here because over the many years that I have known John Travolta or have watched John Travolta— I don't know John Travolta— he has had many looks because he's bald. He's famously bald, and he wears— bald— he wears— he wears an assortment of wigs and contraptions and things on his head to conceal that he's been bald since, I think, Quentin Tarantino resurrected his career in Pulp Fiction, another movie that Greg Cody would not get any of my wheelhouse lines from. Oh, you think you'd get Pulp Fiction? All right, we'll see.

We'll see about that. Um, so this, this new look from John Travolta broke over the timeline this weekend. I was getting ready to go to MMA Hangout, and apparently over in Cannes where they were doing the film festival, a powerful—

pronounce the S at the end, huh?

Cannes.

Yeah, all right.

I think it's Cannes.

That's, uh, yeah, I could show you a couple.

I think you are too.

I can show you a couple Cannes. Exactly right. Um, so when this, when this look came out, I was like, wow, Travolta, a man of many looks, a master of disguise, some would say. When he pulled out with the beret, with the, with the soulful, uh, beret and, and beard combo, not connecting the mustache to the beard, also that it's just like a different look with the glasses. I was like, what is going on here and why is it so powerful? It speaks to me, Dan. And, uh, there was a couple different instances of John Travolta wearing berets and kind of walking around with, hey, this is my new look. And, uh, he did, he did break his silence recently. I don't know if you want to hear about the look from John Travolta.

Yeah, I would put it on the poll, please. Is John Travolta a man of many looks? Some would say. Let's hear from John Travolta here on his new beret look.

The old-school directors wore berets and glasses, and I thought, that's what I'm doing. I've been around for over 50 years doing movies, but I can't tell when I look back the difference between the events. And I said, I'm a director this time. You're an actor, play the part of a director. Look like an old-school director. So I looked up pictures, '20s, '30s, '40s, '50s, '60s, and the old-school directors wore berets and the glasses. And I thought, that's what I'm doing. I'm going to do an homage to being a director. So I'm going to play the part of being a director. And then when I look back, I'll know, oh, that was Propeller One-Way Night Coach. That was Cannes. That's when I won the Palme d'Or. And I'll have vividness of it.

Did he pronounce any of those words right?

Vivid was spot on, by the way.

Hommage?

Well, I don't— is that also how you pronounce Palme d'Or? It might be, but I thought it was homage. I didn't think it was—

It is homage.

He pronounced it differently, but maybe it's the beret. Maybe it just changes him.

It changes a man.

Put it on the Paulette LeBittard Show. Does the beret change a man?

There's also, you know, As of recent, there's been an assembly of, uh, soulful white guys that have made the rounds on social media, and I want to put up a little bit of a—

I gotta be in there, right?

Of a montage here. Obviously we've got Jack Harlow with his Talib Kweli look. We've got, uh, Billy Bob Thornton with that's whatever he's rocking there with the, uh, goat, you know.

Is that Billy Bob? That's Billy Bob Thornton.

Looks like Kornheiser. Yeah, I like that.

It does look like— is that— wait a minute, that's not Billy. Is that Billy Bob Thornton?

How can that be?

How can—

photo of him.

But that doesn't look anything like Billy Bob Thornton. John Travolta, look, that beard is painted on. That's lacquer or chapapote. Carlos Boozer, whatever Carlos Boozer had.

For the audio audience, I believe it's the Billy Bob Thornton on The Colbert Show. Is that The Colbert Show, Tony?

I think so.

I believe that. It's pretty famous.

Also, Jamiroquai, didn't like his quotes recently, by the way. Did you see those?

I did not.

Did not. Did not like those quotes. Talk about quotes I didn't— I don't ever want to see or hear. That's one of them.

Now you have to give them to me because I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe the audience does. I don't know what you're talking about.

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Don Lebatard.

The elephant went into a 7-Eleven and bought a pack of cigarettes. But my question to Ron is this.

Stugatz. That joke didn't really land the way you wanted it to, did it? We all just stared at you.

Didn't land at all.

This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugatz.

I do want, though, to just at some point during what it is that we're doing here, just put up an assortment of John Travolta looks over the years, because he has put, as I've said, a number of things, including a ferret on his head in order to disguise his baldness. It's the way that Zaslav wears the cap. And we really don't talk about John Travolta unless we're playing the sound of him trying to— trying to mispronounce a name.

Please welcome the wickedly talented one and only That's Idina Menzel he's trying to say.

The man is a wordsmith, let's be honest, okay? And there's Billy Bob Thornton on the Colbert Show.

See, yeah, I knew it.

So that's a gypsy— that's a gypsy look he's going for.

I wouldn't say gypsy, I think soulful white.

It's a beanie over a fedora, just so we know how that look gets done. He's wearing a fedora and then he put a beanie over the fedora.

And if we could pull up the soulful white guys, uh, quad there, we also have Jamiroquai who has a big hat of some sort.

I'm very disturbed by this Jamiroquai.

Thank you, Jeremy.

You You got it wrong. It's the fedora's over the beanie. Come on, don't be ridiculous. You were ridiculous.

I don't think so.

Ridiculous person.

Well, I'm glad that's a good contribution. I think you guys just arguing about whether or not he got that right or not is good.

Yeah, the fedora's on top of the whatever else that thing is.

All right, good. Let's stay there.

Listen to this. Jamiroquai, Dan.

Facts.

He broke up with Winona Ryder. All right. You know Winona Ryder, right?

Yes.

Jamiroquai says, quote, She has these enormous breasts, bigger than they look on film. She had this habit of constantly wanting to play hide the sausage. It was exhausting.

The word association with her is stealing, right? Winona Ryder?

She stole.

Didn't she steal one?

She was a shoplifter, yes.

Shoplifter.

She did some shoplifting. So did Jawan Howard here in Miami. It was a strange—

Did you not listen to what Zazz said? Everybody said something about stealing.

Hide the sausage, Dan.

She said that she was too blessed and wanted to play hide the sausage too much for him.

Yeah, he couldn't keep up, whatever.

Wow.

Quotes I didn't want to hear. Don't like him.

You don't like him and you don't like the Spurs either.

Exactly right. I stand on both of those. Stand on business on both of those. Ja'Mere Quaid's quotes, don't like them. Spurs, don't like them.

Bye-bye.

Tony Kornheiser is saying, or he said on PTI yesterday, quote, I'm very disappointed in the playoffs. It's like 75% of the games are routs. I'm struggling to remember 2 games in a row that were close, that had drama. I I don't know if last night rescues that feeling for you, but that was elite basketball being played by two teams. And I'm not kidding you when I say that if you're in the West and you're the Lakers, how do you look at that amount of youth and that amount of depth and say we can keep up even with the stars that we have? If you're the Timberwolves, how do you look at what it is that you're watching in that game and keep up keep up with that? If you're Denver, how do you look at that and keep up with that? If you're Houston, how— it's— those teams are too young. OKC is too deep, and OKC is playing, I believe, the only team in the world that can beat them. It's the— Amin said what he said yesterday about thinking that OKC will rout the Spurs, and that may yet happen, but what happened in that game yesterday from the beginning, from the top of the game, is OKC has problems with that team.

They look bad against that team a way they don't look against anybody else. This year they have not just been beaten by the Spurs, they've been throttled by the Spurs. And they were throttled by the Spurs when Zazz was sitting here saying that OKC was going to win 80 games this season because it looked like they, you know, look, they started whatever it was, I don't even remember what it is, 24-1, but that was like 5 months ago, Dan.

Let's get past that already.

Yeah, 25-1 or 24-1, but not even healthy. Like, so Jalen Williams comes back last night. De'Aaron Fox is out, and they beat you on your home court. Now, that might have something to do with the fact that everyone says— Jokic, everyone says— you don't want time off this time of year. You want some time off, but you don't want a week off. That it shows in that first quarter. It's not a coincidence that the Thunder went longer without scoring to open the game with their fans standing than they have all season because they weren't quite in the rhythm that you have to be in. Playing that speed of basketball, playoff basketball, which is, you know, obviously another intensity.

And they said as much on the broadcast. The person who was doing silent was like, I was just in the huddle with, you know, Oklahoma City, listen to what they were saying. Cruz was like, guys, wake up. Like, we haven't played in a week, but like, we gotta go. And it's like that, that length of, of time where you're not in the rotation every day doing, you know, your workouts, doing your games, doing all the prep and doing everything, like, it completely changes the way that you play.

Well, Well, Dan asked the rhetorical question, what do you do if you're another good team in the West looking up at those two teams? The answer is you panic. You panic because you realize that the two best teams in the West are led by the two best players in the league, and they're both very young and just now coming into their prime. And for the next 5, 7, 8 years, it's going to be a two-horse race in the NBA, not just in the West. Yes, everything can change. Injuries can change everything. But right now it just looks like a two-team domination, like the beginning of an epic rivalry between teams and two star players.

I feel like I gotta push back a little bit on that because I really liked how Denver would match up against San Antonio, right? They just got a bad matchup with Minnesota in the first round that didn't allow that to happen. Because when Joker plays against Wemby, he dominates. I don't know if you've seen the splits with Joker and Wemby, like he's averaging like 30-some-odd points, like 15 assists, 15 rebounds, like he dominates. And Minnesota has had success with Oklahoma City, so it might have just been this year you're looking around saying, man, the matchups really didn't fall in our favor. But going forward, Minnesota can get healthy if they can play against Oklahoma City. Like, that nullifies Oklahoma City a little bit. Denver against, uh, against San Antonio. Like, there's matchups there that make sense.

You can't just do nothing if you're the other teams because it's not like, all right, let's wait out this window before we decide to make a big move. He's 22 years old. Like, this may be the case for another 10 years. You can't just sit around and do nothing.

Well, I think the thing that might be getting lost in here, wherever it is that the hyperventilation resides, and I know that we can be prisoner of the moment, anybody can, reacting to whatever it is that happened last night. But the thing that I don't think can be said loudly enough in terms of its rarity. He's 22. Like, that's not allowed to win. That's just never allowed to win. It doesn't— that grows into winning. That's not allowed to win at the start. You don't have a— you do not have a 22. He is still 22, right? He's not yet 23, is he? Is he 23 yet?

They're all under 22, and that's Harper, that's him, and that's— and it's Castle.

That's, that's the part that is staggering. They're not formed. They're not as good as they're going to be. This is just them starting. And the way this is supposed to go is they lose this series and they figure it out next year or the year after that when he'll be 24. Like the thing that happened with LeBron here in Miami is they got an MVP in his prime. At 25, but he came here because he couldn't win. Like, the reason he came here is, yeah, he was plenty great, but what he faced in Boston was older and better at 22 years old. This is asinine what I just said to you about Shaquille O'Neal. This game statistically has not been had by anybody this deep in the playoffs except for 2001 Shaq, who is the most dominant player that year anyone's ever seen. Like, it's— you, if you want to go Wilt, maybe, but the way that Shaq says, and nobody refutes it, I'm the most dominant that there has ever been— the season that he did that was 2001, and he had to fail a bunch in Orlando. He had to change teams. Like, the original Shaq, I remember seeing— I think it was, was it his first game here in Miami?

I don't know whether he played his first game here in Miami. It wasn't very good, but he was somebody who was skinnier and could dribble the length of the court at his size, and no one had seen that. Like, he would go on fast breaks and everybody would just have to get out of the way because you're not going to take a charge on that.

It was his first game ever, it was in Orlando against the Heat.

Yeah, and, and he wasn't very good in that one, but he had to go almost 10 years before he learned a post-up game, and this guy's taking 30-footers with 26 seconds left in the game. That shot reminded me— do you guys remember the shot that Klay Thompson made in the third quarter against OKC, uh, years ago when it looked like Golden State was in big trouble against Durant and Westbrook? And, and Klay just pulled up from 30—

was that the 37-point quarter?

Uh, that was— I don't— was it the third? No, I don't think that was. No. Uh, but he had a shot. He had— they were down 9 or something, and it looked like they were in deep trouble against Oklahoma City, and Klay just pulled up from 35 feet. I cannot tell you how absurd it is to see someone that size and that age shooting from there in that situation, right?

Yeah, I mean, he's changing the rules is what he's doing. Wembenyama is rewriting the old standard that you got to lose before you win, what Dwyane Wade was saying that you quoted earlier today. That's common thinking. There's a reason for it. But somebody has to break that. Somebody has to shatter that. Somebody has to be the first to win it all when in their first opportunity. And if he does that, that's just one more reason to look at Wembenyama as, as just a unicorn who's going to be changing all our minds about greatest ever.

Was not the 37-point game that happened in January.

Can you play for me another movie clip for Greg Cody, please? Let's see what we have here. Greg Cody's on a hot streak. He's gotten Jaws correctly. Let's see if he can get this one correct.

Here's the next one.

Whose motorcycle is this?

It's a chopper, baby.

Whose chopper is this?

Zed's.

Who's Zed?

Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

Uh, was that Travolta? Was that Travolta?

It was Bruce Willis.

Okay, I, I mentioned earlier, and, and it's verified now, Willis, not a distinctive voice. Um, I don't know, a motorcycle movie, uh, Hells Angels.

I don't know, Pulp Fiction.

You said that was Pulp Fiction? Unbelievable. Oh no, see, Pulp Fiction, you got to give me a Travolta.

Do you know who Zed was in Pulp Fiction? He just said Zed's dead. No, why would you—

why would you remember that scene?

I, I remember the dancing scene, you know, the, the Travolta.

But you said you just got done saying that you would recognize quotes from Pulp Fiction, right?

Do you think I memorized the entire script?

No, but it's, it's a memorable movie. And I think, I, I think everyone listening to this, I know everyone in the container recognized what that movie was.

Well, they go to movies, they, they recite lines from movies, which I don't do, you know. I, I could if I wanted to.

We go to movies. Pulp Fiction came out in 1994. I was 3. Jeremy hadn't been born yet.

That's right, right. Yeah, I saw the movie. It's a great film. Doesn't mean I memorize it all. You know, I mean, when I started in Absence of Malice, you know, I saw the script, but Zed, not, not a, not a memorable character, right? I got a line, I memorized it.

Zed though.

No, who was that? Yeah, was that, was that Travolta?

Dead, baby.

All right, moving on. All right, you can just get that out of your brain. Let's move on.

It's already out. Next line was never in. What does Marcellus Wallace look like? To answer his question, I don't know because I don't know that movie. What does Marcellus Wallace look like? I don't know.

This is staggering.

Who would know that?

It's Pulp Fiction!

Again with the Pulp Fiction.

Again with the Pulp Fiction.

Now you're just trying to brainbeat me. Yeah, and you know it. Pulp Fiction.

Do you know what character— do you know who the actor was who, uh, was just saying that?

Uh, uh, Sam Jackson. Okay, there you go.

Okay, that's one of his moves, by the way, in this game, is like abbreviating very successful, very common name.

Yes, uh, put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Does anyone call Samuel Jackson Sam?

Samuel Jackson. I bet his mother calls him Sam. Samuel, come on, highfalutin.

How does Samuel Jackson—

I think he's close to 80, Sam Jackson.

Is he—

Mom's still alive?

Yes, she is. 109. Good for her. She and I socialize. Sam Jackson's mom and I. I don't have no idea why I just said that. All right, enough with the movie game.

She died in 2020.

All right, I failed. I failed movies. Okay, you got that right.

Don Lebatard.

This is the quickest it goes. Hey, this is the quickest it goes, Stugatz! Everybody, this is the quickest it goes!

Yeah, this is the Dan Levatar Show with Stugatz.

The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. He updates his countdown if you want the latest. He He has banned us. He has not allowed us to celebrate his catchphrases on today's show.

After, you know, playing a little game with him, joking with him those last few, should we give him one that we think he might get? It'll be hilarious if he doesn't, but just one that he can't miss.

Okay, let's see. Let's see. He won't miss this one. Let's see what we've got here. My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. Of course, you never know what you're going to get.

Everybody knows that one.

Uh-oh, he can't find it.

Tom Hanks, right? Yep. Yeah, that was Tom Hanks. Now I got to come up with the name of it though. Oh, I can picture the scene. He's got a box of chocolates on a, on a park bench, and there's a young lady with him, and, uh, I don't remember their relationship. Um, they were strangers. There you go, strangers in the night. Uh, give me a second.

It was daytime.

Give me a second. Clearly shrimp involved.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, damn it, I, I've played this game so many times with him, he's gonna get there.

I mean, if you give me time, we'll give you time.

You got the rest of the show.

Uh, okay, good.

In order to think of it, uh, did that movie indeed beat Pulp Fiction this year for the Oscar?

It should have. No, I love that movie.

No, this movie that you don't know beat Pulp Fiction.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, well, uh, Hank, when he ran—

Thanks, he's rattled.

Was that real, uh, really him running, or was that like a—

it was him playing ping pong that well. It was him, uh, yes, in, in all of the black and white, uh, film that they, uh, superimposed him in.

Yes. Can I think of the name?

This is amazing. It really is.

It is.

I will think of it.

Yeah. Okay, well, I— we'll see, and we'll get very excited for you if you do.

I promise not to look it Okay, talking to the mic. If you see my fingers on the keyboard, uh, you'll know that I've betrayed, uh, your faith.

That is a nice on-ramp to circle back to black Chet's. Chet Hanks.

He has no idea the joke you just made, but that's a good joke. That is the rarest of things, the Jeremy good joke.

I already said Hanks was the, the, the star of that movie.

Uh, what is the name of the movie that you're thinking of?

You want to hear the line again?

I, I think maybe it'll refresh your drink. I think I can say flatly that this is Tom— he's got a lot of them, but this is Tom Hanks's greatest role, right? It's not Cast Away, uh, it's not Philadelphia.

Most famous role.

Yeah, thanks. Yeah, I wonder—

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. It's— I can't believe you never know what you're going to get.

I know it's two words.

That's right.

Uh, yes, it's his name.

It's the name of his character in the movie.

Yeah, this is shocking.

It is, it is. This is, this is the most shocking one I think that we have had so far. The Godfather was pretty bad, but this is as bad as—

it's on the tip of my tongue.

Think trees.

Forrest Gump. Very good.

Good job.

Of course. See, I knew it all along. Tip of my tongue. Finally, you know, it comes out and I know it and I got it.

All right, I don't feel good about how I gave you that, so we're gonna play the game again right now.

I, I got that one.

No, I mean, not with clues.

This is where he goes, I get half credit. No, when we give you 14 clues, there's no credit.

Not that you didn't give me a clue.

He gave you think trees and that's when you got it. You said forest.

No, it was already on the tip of my tongue.

All Here's the next one.

You hear me talking, hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.

Yeah, I like that medieval. I don't know the movie, but I like the line. It's fun. It's good comedy.

What does that mean when he says, I'ma get medieval?

I don't know, but it's fun. I like the word medieval.

I'ma get medieval on your ass.

Yeah, it's open to imagination.

He's been sodomized against his will, uh, and Zed's dead.

And sodomized? What are you talking about? That's what happened.

It's Pulp Fiction again.

Oh, that's what— quick, enough with the Pulp Fiction references.

You said that you would get Pulp Fiction. You said— you, you announced on the show that you would get Pulp Fiction.

Okay, a certain scene Not that one. Zed was hillbilly boy in that situation, by the way. Hillbilly boy. Yeah, that's what he called him.

I want to, uh, get back to something it is that we did yesterday that I think Greg Cody would enjoy, uh, that I don't think that we spent enough time with, uh, because I kind of sped through the end of the show. And I assume that people enjoyed what we were doing yesterday. Mike Ryan came up with a top 10 list of things that we did to piss off ESPN while we were there. I came up with a top 10 list of things that we did to piss off ESPN while we were there, and the lists were pretty substantively different. So really, if you guys have any questions and you want to rummage around in this bin a little more, I will recap what both of those lists are. And I will tell you that when I got home, my wife said to me, me, uh, your list was terrible, I've got a better one, and her list has a different 10 things. Oh wow. Yes, she didn't— she said that I was remembering wrong, uh, some of the things that, uh, I did and we did to bother ESPN the most.

Okay, so then Mike's list, your list, Valerie's list— you're— there's no way there's ever been a sports radio show then that has at least 30 notable incidents.

Didn't Dan and Mike's have a couple?

Yeah, we had a little bit of overlap, but I don't think Valerie's has any overlap on it. Uh, so I'm gonna just give you the list here and you guys tell me how much redundancy there is and how much you want to, uh, uh, you know, ask elaborations of some of these on the list. So number 10 for Mike Ryan, uh, is Ron McGill complaints. They complained a lot about Ron McGill they wanted his segment off of the show.

I would have guessed that was higher.

Well, that's one of the funny things about the list. You would think that a lot of things on here would be higher because the way that it started is Mike Ryan said us upsetting Rob Manfred, uh, would have been, uh, on his list, and it is, but it's not on my list, uh, us upsetting the Commissioner of Baseball. Uh, number 9 was just in general the looks-like game. Yeah, a lot of the talent— Buster Olney, uh, we've repaired the relationship with Matthew Berry, but we said that he was a retired clown who now works in a balloon shop, and he didn't like that initially.

But we didn't say he was that, we said he looks—

that's right, that is correct. Uh, well, I think Berman— I think Chris Berman was the angriest because he was a Ben Franklin, uh, Ben Franklin, uh, wax, uh, figurine that had been left in a hot car too long on a summer day.

He has a sweater.

Oh, why he would not like that.

Uh, so number 8 was just general friction with the NFL department of ESPN. Number 7 was WEEI, which was totally racist against my father and wanted to deport him. Number 6 was me, uh, telling the mortgage sponsor after Stugatz had read their ad that they were a predatory lender. Uh, number 5, uh, was Mike, a department meeting where he embarrassed a guy who was in charge. Number 4 was Rob Manfred. Number 3 was the LeBron billboards. Uh, number 2 was the violating of their politics policy with kids in cages. And, uh, also, uh, number 1 was me lamenting that I needed sports figures in order to do anything in the way of political stories. Which led to this video right here, which will allow me to end the segment with Billy, uh, in charge as executive producer because Mike was out of town as I was violating ESPN's corporate policy. Racist, dangerous rhetoric, and not calling it out makes you complicit. The send her back chant and the go back to where you came from are so antithetical to what we should be. It is so right what he is saying there. It is so wrong what the president of our country is doing, trying to go down, getting reelected by dividing the masses at a time when the old white man, the old rich white man feels oppressed, being attacked by minorities, Black people, brown people, women.

That's who we're going after now— Black people, brown people, women. And that's the, like, let's do it as the platform. That's what you're seeing. And the only way we can discuss it around here, because this isn't about politics, it's about race, What you're seeing happening around here is about race, and it's been turned into politics. And we only talk about it around here when Steve Kerr or Popovich says something. We don't talk about what is happening unless there's some sort of weak, cowardly sports angle that we can run it through, when sports has always been a place where this stuff changes, where stuff— wait, man, Muhammad Ali was fighting for this stuff in the '60s. Bill Russell and Jim Brown are really old. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is old. These people who were fighting the most powerful among us in sports, who are fighting in the real— in the civil rights era for things, atrocities happening to Black people that we're still paying for now in a country where this is our greatest sin.

What a time.

I urge you listening on audio to check out the YouTube on that because that's a visual joke. I will tell you again that the director smartly This was an order and it was direct. Put Billy on the screen so that news organizations couldn't play that sound and show that I was violating their corporate policy. And so many news organizations had to play that video that made no sense with the sound. Uh, my top 10 list was, uh, number 10, I did not return the call of the boss for 8 months. He was calling a lot. He called Stugatz and threatened him. Number 9, I called the UFC the sewer right after they'd signed a contract with the UFC. Number 8 was a bad meeting about us selling t-shirts. Number 7 was selling my Deadspin Hall of Fame vote. Number 6 was Chris Cody, your son, going downstairs with me and and standing behind the First Take set as a battery. Number 5 was I was pissed off 'cause we were growing in New York and they took us off in New York. Number 4 was the billboards. Number 3 was hiring back your son. Number 2 was not running a story I wrote about China and LeBron that was one of the best things I've ever written.

And number 1 was Billy in the penalty box.

Don't forget the art of conversation.

I did forget the art of conversation. It's on Valerie's list. You want Valerie's list here? It's different.

Quick, I believe they took us off New York because they put Stephen A on, right? Wasn't that the reason?

Uh, that is correct, but we were doing very well in New York. I didn't object to this taking us off in Los Angeles. We were doing poorly in Los Angeles. Like, I had no problem with that, but we were crushing it in New York. Uh, number 10 on Valerie's list is, uh, they got really mad that I got a hippo named after me the zoo. They thought it was a liability.

Yeah, I remember that.

What if the hippo eats somebody?

That— right, that's what—

the more ridiculous—

Dan Levitar of ESPN Radio.

What if it escapes and, and harms someone? Hippos are dangerous. They kill a lot of people.

That'd be a Zion situation.

It's usually in Africa. You think it'd be good for us?

I think the ESPN just like, Dan Levitar, whoa, whoa.

And also in Colombia, big issue, hippos in the rivers in Colombia because of Pablo Escobar.

Wow, that's true.

He had a zoo and he let all the hippos go, and now they're in the rivers in Colombia. Now it's— yeah, they're killing people at a very high rate.

Uh, number 9 was the president of ESPN, uh, before Skipper called into our Sunday morning radio show and scared the hell out of an $8 an hour board op because I said, coming up next, we talk about what Bob Ryan said on the Sports Reporters. And he called the board op and he said, the hell you will. And the argument I got into with him afterwards had me asking out loud, who the hell do you think you're talking to? Number 8 is that I said right before Lance Armstrong hosted the ESPYs that he was Barry Bonds and should be considered a cheater like Barry Bonds. Number 7 is our first studio day at ESPN. The day before, me and my brother put all of the art in over their objections. We hadn't told anybody, so we did all of this. Disney, famously proprietary about its cartoons. So they weren't really happy that we did that. Number 6 was the live stream I cursed on. Dunk lebatard. Yeah, they took it away from us after that.

Greg famously, uh, deterred by the lights, I think, in that situation.

Yeah, yeah, I remember that.

Yeah, not deterred, confused.

Well, I was on medication at that time. Mike was left with the bill.

Yes, Mike was on the floor on his knees saying, this night couldn't have gone any worse. And then a Clevelander waitress came over and handed him the bill because we had all left. Yeah, we were already— they ended up giving that whole thing to McAfee. Like, that— they were starting the live stream there. We fouled up our chance because I had too many drinks with McGill at dinner and I got there late. Uh, number 5 is I wouldn't do live spots, especially for Walmart. Number 4 was the art of conversation. Number 3 was that we had successfully negotiated a t-shirt company. No one had done that, and they got really mad that someone had allowed that to happen because again, Disney proprietary about its cartoons. Uh, number 2 was over those, uh, pay cuts that they asked us to quote unquote volunteer for during the pandemic, even though no one got bonuses when things were going well and we had to volunteer for them. It wasn't really volunteering. And I was saying, "Can I just give that money to our staff in Miami, a bunch of cameramen who don't speak English?" And they got mad about that, and so I had to pay those people for months myself.

And number 1 was we did The Masked Singer with Billy Gill the morning right after the Super Bowl.

That was a great one.