Transcript of Local Hour: Can We Learn How To Throw a Knife?

I want to start a totally new, fresh segment that has never been done anywhere in entertainment before, where Billy was right and where Billy was wrong. But before we do that, Billy came in today, and the first words he said to me, it wasn't good morning, it was COVID ruined nobility. I don't have any other thoughts beyond that because you haven't expounded. It's the first thing I heard from you, and then you walked away.

Well, I don't like the segment that you're pitching just on the front end. I don't like that situation whatsoever. No, I'm sick. I don't know if you can hear. I'm a little bit sick. There was a time when you were sick and you didn't want to let your team down or your coworkers down or whatever, and you're like, I'm going to power through. I'm going to go in to work. Now that's very much frowned upon. I would love to have stayed home today, but I was like, You know what? I'm not going to miss two days in a row. I'm going to go in, and I'm just getting judgment left and right when I'm out there. I'm not doing anything. I'm not touching people's food. I'm not sneezing in their faces. I'm just existing. You don't feel like you're welcome?

We missed you yesterday. Why Wild Willy Wednesday was missed yesterday.

I actually had Robert told me, Robert who does something here.

Robert said to me-He's the head of our IT. He doesn't do something.

Engineering, not IT now.

He keeps everything up in the air.

He tries. Anyways, Robert told me, Go home. I was like, Oh, okay. Welcome, Robert. Thank you for welcoming me in.

Do you want me to start with where Billy was right or where Billy was wrong?

Neither. Ideally, why did you see the Smashing Machine? Are you going to talk to me about that movie?

I I didn't see the smashing machine, but I did.

This A24 of yours is something else, man. Let me tell you something. A24, everything they do is great. Watch the smashing machine.

A24 has a better studio pub than any studio making things right now.

A24 is awesome.

I love their movies. So did Bernie Madoff until the end, right? Everyone was like, Oh, we got to trust this Bernie Madoff situation. Then all of a sudden, we couldn't trust him anymore. Look, this is all I'll say about the smashing machine, which is not what we were talking about. I don't want to ruin the movie. I'm not going to give you any or anything.

Is it like you standing out because everyone loves the smashing machine?

No, I'm not trying to say it out, but I'm just saying if you watch scene to scene, and I'm not someone that... That's how I watch movies. Here's the score, here's the lighting, here's the writing, here's the this, here's the that. I'm not someone who would ever be like, The makeup in this movie, but I will say this. When you're watching it, and I don't want this to be the situation where we pointed out how much to God's fake laughed on Stupadi and no one could watch it again after that because they're like, Oh, all it is is fake laughing. But if you watch the smashing the machine, just go scene to scene and try to tell me that The Rock looks like the same person from one scene to the next because every time it seems like, Okay, this is a different day of shooting because he just looks different with all the prosthetics and stuff. It doesn't look like the same person from one scene to the next.

That's all I'm going to think about now when I see it? You may have just ruined it for me.

I told you, Don't let this ruin it for you. That doesn't matter.

You don't get to say that. You don't get to say, Don't let something ruin it, and then say the thing. It's like, I have to remember all what Billy told me not to let it ruin it for me.

That's the way it works. That's how you spot the reshoots. Do that with Marvel movies, too. Wait, that's on its beard length.

Do you guys think that if you were Colin Farrell or Dwayne The Rock Johnson, that you would do anything that required you to be three or 3 or 4 hours a day in makeup?

How much am I getting paid?

But they get paid that without being three or four hours a day in makeup.

Yeah, but they're paying me that, so I'm going to do that.

No, not if it gets you hardware. Hardware takes you to a new salary structure.

But The Rock's already the He's the highest grossing person. He already gets paid the most. The hardware is just about ego.

Love of the game, man. You know what he wants? Respect.

That's right.

I want my respect.

Who are you impersonating?

That's LeBron after he won his four-time. I want my damn respect.

Okay. It's not a great impersonation you're doing.

He doesn't deserve a good impersonation. What do you mean?

He's still one of the top 10 players in the world, and he's 400 years old.

Wins a Championship. I want my damn respect.

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats podcast.

Put it on the poll, please, Juju, @LebitardShow. Have you spent the last couple of weeks singing that Greg Cody football song? Because it's a bit of a banger. Jeremy is in the other room now changing all of his permutations from yesterday. As soon as we started talking about the Marlins' playoff permutations, the Philly's hit eight home runs against the Marlins to last night. It's the most the Philly's have ever hit in a game. Can you guys look up for me how long the Philly's have been playing baseball? Because I think it's fairly amazing that as soon as we started talking about the Marlins' playoff possibilities, they lose 11 to 1. A Sosa not named Sammie hits three home runs. Schwarber, of course, hits two. Fifty home runs used to mean something, but now Seattle has a catcher, the big dumper, who just hit 60. Let's see, who do we have non-steroid division who's ever hit 60 before because he's the seventh player ever to hit 60. But non-steroid division, it's just Roger Marris and Babe Ruth, right? Aaron Judges. Aaron Judges also hit 60. Didn't know that. Are you sure about Marris?

Yeah. Remember when we couldn't watch a Wake Forest football game without being reminded? Not the same fanfare for a catcher to do it. It was just weird.

Or a non-Yankee. Seattle is a very likable team.

Philly started playing baseball May first, 1883.

Okay, so it's been 150 years that the Phillies have been playing baseball, and they've never hit eight home runs in a game until we started talking about the Marlins' playoff chances.

Let me be real and upfront with the audience. I'm in a mariner's group chat, haven't watched a single game this year. I was all in last year. This year, married with a kid, baseball fell by the wayside this year. Hard to track. It is absolutely insane to me that a catcher hits 60 home runs. More so, that it's a really good defensive catcher. He won a platinum glove, which I just discovered as a thing, which means it's not just you're the best in your position. It's better than a gold glove. You're the best defensive player in your league.

Wait, gold is better than Platinum?

No, he's saying platinum is better than gold.

Platinum is better than gold because it is the best defensive player regardless of position. He won that last year. This is a guy that two years ago told his GM and manager to make some moves at the trade deadline, and he was admonished for it. Then two years later, he's helping win that team, its first division title since 2001 as a sterling defensive catcher, as a catcher that hits a ridiculous 60 home runs.

He hit two yesterday. We'll get back to that.

One landed in the third deck.

It's crazy how good he is. I am not ashamed to tell you that the sport has changed so much that I'm just wildly confused as to why it is there weren't a whole bunch of people hitting 60 home runs before this, now that Aaron Judge can get into the 50s easily. He's got three or four straight seasons of 50 home runs. The game has changed so much that it's legitimately disorienting to me to see the way they're playing it now, where A fourth of the time players strike out. That's just league average. One out of every four players is striking out, and they're all swinging for home runs. But, Bill, you were sick yesterday, and I want to get to where Billy was right and where Billy was wrong. But before I go to Jeremy out there to us the new playoff permutations, because the Marlins haven't been eliminated yet, I want to get your thoughts on meaningful Marlins' baseball the last week of the season. Were you hurting last night while you were watching? Certainly, you've been interested in the seven-game winning streak that preceded that, right?

I mean, hurting, no. It was funny to see September 24th or whatever that a bunch of Philly's fans were tweeting at me talking crap, where it's like, Guys, you've won this division. If you're flexing on beating the Marlins the end of September, you're a loser. You have a loser mentality. You're not going to win the World Series when you're tweeting at Billy Gill about the Philly's hitting eight home runs in a game. I'm surprised that they're still in it. It's a great story that there's four games left in the season and they're still not technically eliminated. I don't think that anybody know or thinks that they're going to make the play. I don't have to jump too many teams, but it's still meaningful. And now you can see in the offseason, Hey, do you build upon this team, or was this a fluky situation? It's a fun spot to be in where they're still competing.

I can't decide whether I want to be mad at the organization for not spending more being like, Oh, look what this roster you had. If you would have spent a little more, you could be better, or you could look at it as, Look how good they're doing without spending. The Mets are probably looking at the Marlins like, Look how much money we're spending, and we're a couple of games ahead of these guys.

Yeah, but you had a lot of guys come out of nowhere that Peter Bendix could have believed in by acquiring them as throw in pieces in a trade, but you don't know that they're going to pan out the way that they've panned out. It's a surprise team, and you can see how they build around it. I did like this. I did like that Sandy was pushed to go start in the Mets series just to ruin the Mets season. I love that.

What day is he supposed to start?

That's a good question.

He's been better the last half of the season. But to your point, Chris, as to whether they should have spent or not, if their Cy Young winner had simply been Cy Young, they'd be in the playoffs like the Mets are. They didn't need to go acquire a whole bunch of people. They just needed their Cy Young winner not to have an ERA of five and a half for the season. If he'd simply been mediocre all season, not even a Cy Young winner, not even a Cy Young winner. If their Cy Young winner had been mediocre this season, we'd be talking about them already being in the playoffs. But let's go out to Jeremy, who's had to recalculate all of this math now. Jeremy, keep us up to date on... I thought yesterday would be catastrophic. I thought losing 11-1 to the Philly's would eliminate them, but they are still somehow in it. Explain to me how that's so.

That's right, Dan. So the Marlins are still in it based off all these permutations. The thing that you need to know first and foremost is the Marlins are going to need to go 4-0 to make the postseason. The moment they lose a game, whether that's tonight against the Philly's or any game against the Mets, they will be eliminated. But in order to keep their playoff hopes alive, the only things that they need are a Mets loss tonight. No, no, no, no, no, to the Chicago Cubs, because, of course, the Marlins winning out would mean the Mets lose out from there. They need Arizona and Cincinnati to not win two more games. They can each win one more of their next four in order for the Marlins to advance.

Chris Coty, what are you laughing about?

So many words up there. They're screwed. You should just put we're screwed.

No, they're still in it.

This is very much alive. Guys, Arizona and Cincinnati- Very much alive. They're alive. They're alive with four games to play.

But you would call it very much alive?

Here's why they're very much alive, because look at all of the tiebreaker scenarios. The only team that the Marlins can end up in a two-team tiebreaker with at this point would be the Mets at 81 wins, okay? 81 and 81. I was saying 82 and 82 yesterday. I was speeding myself up. That's my mistake. But at 81 and 81, they would tie with the Mets. They would clinch the postseason birth because of their 8 and 5 head-to-head record with New York. Then look at every three-team tiebreaker that's possible. They all include the Mets, and thus that 8 and 5 record against the Mets, should they sweep them this weekend, Marlins would clinch every single three-team tiebreaker.

Jeremy, hold on. You're telling me that the Marlins can actually knock the Mets out of the playoffs by simply sweeping them at the end of the season? I thought the Mets were in.

Not if they win today, though.

If the Mets win today, the only thing the Marlins can do is knock the Mets out because Arizona or Cincinnati could ultimately jump them. But if the Mets lose tonight and the Marlins sweep them, the Marlins would make the postseason over the Mets. That is factually correct because of their head to head record. Nothing else has to happen.

If the Mets lose tonight and we sweep the Mets, we're in the playoffs? No. We're screwed.

Guys, this is not that complicated.

Arizona and Cincinnati cannot both win tonight.

And if the mayor Letters do something.

They can win tonight. They would just need to be swept over the weekend. You need Arizona or Cincinnati to end up at 81 games as well. They both have 80 wins right now. They have four games to play. You can't let them get to 82. It's that simple. But if they stay at 81 wins, they go one and three over their next four, which is entirely possible. These teams are all sitting right around 500. That's where you get into the tiebreaker scenarios. And as you look through it-I think we're done with this.

He's going He's going to go to four team tiebreakers?

We didn't get to the six team tiebreaker yet.

What about the six team tie? Go ahead, Jeremy. Go ahead. Keep going.

All it is is to say the six team tiebreaker, I didn't get to finish writing it. Ultimately, that would go to the Marlins as well. They would have the best head-to-head record against the other five teams combined. When you look at it, the three team tiebreakers, Marlins would clinch all of them. The four team tiebreakers, the Marlins would clinch every single one of them unless it was the Marlins, the Mets, the Diamondbacks, and the Reds because of percentage percentage points. The Reds would have a better percentage points record, 5,7,9 to 5,7,6 over the Marlins. Outside of that, every single potential tiebreaker at 81 wins, the Marlins would win that tiebreaker because of their head-to-head record against these teams.

How would you win a five-team tiebreaker, including Cincinnati, but not a four-team tiebreaker, including Cincinnati?

Because ultimately, the record against St. Louis and San Francisco. So the head-to-head record for the Marlins against those individual teams is stronger than the head-to-head record for the Reds against those individual teams.

Wait, we do two-team tiebreakers? We don't do the game 163 anymore?

We do not do the game 163. I don't like that. Jeremy, look at the screen. Look at the screen. Yeah, I see the screen.

No, leave Jeremy alone. That's a joke for the audience.

Remember Game 163 a couple of years ago? I loved Game 163. Oh, my God. It was the most exciting baseball game of the season. It's an extra playoff game. More people probably watch that than the World Series. I don't know if that's true or not, but I remember, right? It was the Rock He's someone else, and one of the bald rocky guys slides into home plate. He cuts his chin, his helmet comes off. I'll never forget. I don't remember the name of the team, but I'll never forget it.

This episode is supported by FX's The Lowdown, starring Ethan Hawk. Allow us to introduce you to Lee Raybon, a quirky journalist/ rare Bookstore owner/unofficial truth seeker who's always on the tail of his latest conspiracy. This time, his most recent exposé puts him head to head with a powerful family that rules Tulsa. Meaning only one thing, he must be onto something big. Fx is the low down. All new Tuesdays on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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Don Levatard.

That was a long story. Yeah?

It's the only kind he tells.

It was a short one for me. I'll try to speed it up for you guys.

You forgot about the League's Cup.

Stugats. La Careta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the '97 Marlin celebration because it was La Vana and Dece- Well, when Fidel died the first time.

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

There is something that was more watched than a World Series game a couple of nights ago. It's the Jimmy Kimmel Show. That is something that represents where Billy was wrong. The number that the Jimmy Kimmel Live did was over 6 million people tuning in live to late night television. That's a college football number. That's nuts. That is crazy to have that in the middle of the night.

Miami, Florida did six and a half million viewers.

Maybe people were interested in Glenn Powell.

Billy, you'll be happy to know that you were right, and I was wrong. Those arches out there that they're spending $850 million on are indeed the that is going to be holding up the bridge of the future. Really? Yeah. It's not the actual bridge.

It's a suspension bridge.

But it's going to be... It is what he was saying. It's going to be like the Golden Gate Bridge where they're building the arches, and the arches is where the bridge will hang from. You will not drive, obviously, on the arches, but that's what's going to hold up the bridge that they're building out there that has made downtown such as zoos.

Driving on the arch would be intense.

Was anyone asking that question?

I don't think anyone thought thought they were going to drive on that arch. Wait, did you think that?

Did Dan think this?

I didn't think it was a bridge. I just thought it was an arch. I thought it was only meant to be something that made our skyline beautiful. I didn't think they were attaching a bridge to it.

Like a bike path in there, maybe?

I thought it was just an monument. That'd be a great bike path. I don't know about great. A little dangerous.

The way up is going to be hell.

It looks hollow on the inside, right? You think if you walk across that little bridge there that's holding the two pieces together, you think if you walk across it, you slide down that I want Tony's next week's top five from there, right there, standing- From where?

What do you mean? That little bridge.

The scaffold that's holding both of them together? Yeah, the scaffold in between the two of them. That's where I want you.

The little dangerous suspension thing.

You're going to bail me out?

Jeremy will be doing pitch clock today, later in the show in postgame, the baseball playoffs are about to start. It's an exciting time. I do love this time of year. I can't believe what's happening with the Detroit Tigres. It's the single worst collapse in baseball history. They were 15 and a half up in the middle of July, and it's just not something that you ever see. But I want to talk about the home runs last night, and I want to talk about Cal Raleigh.

The Maris family better be there, and we better get cut-ins. He can pass Judge. There's four games left. He can do this. Hell, he can catch Bonds. I wouldn't put it past him because nothing gets past Big Dumper.

What's he got to do to pass Bonds?

Thirteen more, I think. Well, to tie.

In four games, are they still playing in Colorado? Do they have the four games in Colorado? He hit two last night in Colorado.

Big Dumper, my boy. He's got pop, which leads me to a traditional sports radio topic. Who's the greatest FSU catcher of all time?

I thought that. Whoa.

He is.

Two options, right?

No, you got three. You got Mauer, you got Buster Posi, and you got And you got the big dumper. So we take them all at the peak of their powers. And again, Buster Posi, brilliant player. Tremendous defensive player as well. Dumper, platinum glove there, Zazlo. So I would say-Who was the Marlin that almost ended Buster Posi's career?

Scott Cousins.

Scott Cousins. That's right.

They got that. The stupid Buster Posi room, baseball.

So you take this Cal Raleigh season, and you make that the algimation of Cal Raleigh at the peak of his powers. And that's a 7. 2 war. Buster Posi's best war was 7. 6, which it just boggles the mind. How could Buster Posi have had a better season?

Well, he had an MVP season. They won the World Series when he was an MVP.

Yeah, but Cal's having an MVP season. He's hitting 60 dingers.

All right, put it on the poll, please. Did stupid Buster-Posy Buster Posi ruin baseball?

That used to be my computer backdrop, Scott Cousins trucking Buster Posi. When you used to be able to put an image. I guess you still can. I think you still can. On your laptop. Yeah, but no one does that anymore, right? On their laptop?

Yeah.

Sure, why not? Do you? Yeah. What's your background?

My show logo, Zazel Show 2. 0.

Billy, I don't think you said Buster Posi might be better than Big Dumper, and he was the MVP of a championship season. But did Did Buster-Posey ever hit even 30 home runs? Did he ever hit 25 home run? Did Buster Posi ever hit 25 home runs in a season so that you guys can absorb how much baseball has changed. Did the MVP of a World Series champion, Buster Posey, ever hit 30 home runs in a season?

No, his career high was 24.

That season, probably. Yes. When it comes to individual measurements, Mike, I think OPS and OPS plus is where you go. Is Big Dumper having a better OPS and OPS plus season than Buster Posey did the greatest season of his life when he won the MVP and they won the championship?

I'm not here to be deposed. That's for somebody else to figure out. But I think Jeremy does have an update on my traditional sports radio topic. We kick it out to Jeremy.

Well, ultimately, look, the peak of Cal Raleigh in doing this as a catcher behind the plate, the craziest part about getting to potentially 60 home runs is just the wear and tear that comes with it. Because to be able to produce that type of power. On the flip side, Buster Posey showing up every day and hitting about 3: 30 as he was such a tremendous defensive catcher in the middle of an order that didn't have quite as much protection. The peak of their power is it's really hard to argue one way or another. But I do want to get back to something that Chris was questioning, because All that needs to happen is that the Diamondbacks and the- Brother, you're doing this wrong.

Just best FSU catcher of all time.

It's not Joe Mauer. He didn't go there.

He committed there, but then got drafted.

I mean, he was finishing I'm third anyways. Let's be real.

The Kimmel monolog not only did more than 6 million people in the middle of the night, it also did more than 20 million people on YouTube. So three times as many people on YouTube watched as we're watching.

A couple of people watched it twice, probably. But then there are also the people that watched it in groups, Chris.

That's true. Some of us didn't watch it at all. Amen.

When did we start tracking the AL home run record. That's annoying, right?

When it was Aaron Judges.

But it's so annoying to be like, Oh, Cal Raleigh is about to catch Aaron Judges for the AL home run. It's like, Dude, what does that mean?

What's the NL East record? I know.

It doesn't matter that we're playing interleague play season round now. The AL records and the NL records are completely irrelevant. No one's like, I'm an American League baseball fan anymore. That's not a thing.

It stopped being a thing when the umpires started wearing just MLB hats. That's right. That's Just call me AL hats.

Remember AL?

That's right.

Angels in the Outfield.

The greatest thing that Big Dumper did with this season is just rip away the facade of that whole Aaron Judge bullshit that we had to deal with a couple of seasons ago.

You guys were so mad that-It was BS, and it was just because it was a Yankee.

We all know now. The Emperor has no clothes, Dan.

In 2012, Buster Posi's OPS was 9: 57. Right now, Kals is 9: 59. 9. His OPS plus is 172. Buster Posi's OPS plus was 171. And I think we all know what that means.

They're close to very comparable players in terms of what it is that they do.

Which is wild because one of them is hitting 60 home runs.

Dan, we're getting to the part where the baseball playoffs matter, right? And what I want to do is... I'm locked in now. Yeah. We're right here. We're at the doorstep of the baseball playoffs. And I need to know. I need to get an update from the baseball guys to see where we are so I know what to do going into the season, going into the postseason. So right now, I have written down, Mariner's Good, Good Catcher, Tiger's Collapsed. What else do I need to know?

They still got a few days left. They may not fully.

They've already collapsed. Collapsed. Now, they might.

Is it still collapsed if they still win the division?

They might uncollapsed, but as we speak of this, they've already collapsed.

The old collapse into an uncollapsed. I don't think you can uncollapse.

I put collapse, not fully.

You don't think that they can now win the division and therefore not have collapsed as historically as I imagine that this collapse is going to be remembered?

Greg collapsed at Highly, and then when he came back, we didn't say, Well, good news, Greg uncollapsed. He still collapsed. Maybe we should have. Maybe.

Dan, do you remember Terry Kennedy, a 1980s catcher, four-time All-Star, played in four different World Series with three different teams. He was an FSU catcher.

Believe it or not, Jean Carlos Stanton holds the record for single-season NL East home runs.

Just NL East now you're doing?

I believe it. 59. I believe it.

It's a lot. I remember that vividly.

But you mean- I'm going to go through every division. You're just going to do it by division? Who holds the... So the divisional lead in home runs.

I like NL Central. Who you got? I got Mork McGuire, famously.

You nailed it. I got second place.

It's probably either McGuire or Sosa.

All right. Nl West? Damn it, Bond.

It's going to be Bond.

Keep playing, though. Nl West.

Nl West. Cal Raleigh.

Cal Raleigh. We're having fun here. Al Central.

Al Central. Now, this one's trick. Al Central.

Great Thomas. Frank Thomas is a great guess.

Paul Conerco.

Jim Thomi is a terrible guess.

That's a good guess. That's a terrible guess. Who did Jimmy Fox play for?

Jimmy Fox was in Detroit, wasn't he?

Then there you go. That's him.

But they may not have been in the Central then.

I don't think they were in the Central. There wasn't Central back then.

Who did Hank Greenberg play for?

The Hammer. There It was none a Central back then.

Fun game.

Jimmy Fox played for Philadelphia, Boston, and Chicago Cubs, so we didn't get any of that right.

What about Hank Greenberg?

The Hammer.

Philly's are good. The Hebrew Hammer.

It's a good nickname.

He played for Detroit. There you go. We got our AL Central guy.

What year did he play?

His whole career.

What years were they?

The '30s?

Then there was no Central then.

Whatever, man.

When did they start the Central? When did that start? Because there were two divisions. This counts. Deep Deep into the '90s, I think, before they made it three divisions in each league, I think, right?

Chris, can you sort by career and not individual seasons?

Because they're players-Again, in '94.

Because there were players like Maglio Ordonias that played for multiple teams inside of the AL Central. This is where it gets fun, folks.

Don Levatard. While there's nothing official and conversations are still ongoing. Was that a fake Schefter?

Because it was pretty good. It was excellent. I feel like there's legs.

I tried at the beginning, and then I lost confidence in it. Why? It was good.

You got this.

There's nothing official. Conversations are still ongoing. Stugatz. It is trending towards nick Seriani, remaining the head coach of the Eagles.

This is the Don Levatard show. With the Stugats.

I want to talk about a very briefly, the uniforms that the dolphins are going to be wearing on Monday night. Monday night is an Apocalypse. The dolphins and the jets are playing Monday night football. And these uniforms are really good-looking uniforms. They're just not in any way dolphin uniforms.

It's horrible. I'm embarrassed.

I can't believe how negative this office has been on these uniforms. I thought it was going to be a consensus, these look cool, and everybody around here hates these.

They may look cool, But they're not the dolphins. That's not the dolphins colors. That's not their uniform. But on top of it, you know what aggravates me, and maybe some of the fans, too, is there is a consensus out there of, I would guess to say 100% of the fan base would like them to wear a specific uniform, and they refuse to go back to it.

Old-school one.

Of course. And they're breaking this out. That's not the dolphins. Who is this team? I'm going to be watching on Monday night.

I cannot blame the Dolphins for wanting to wear a disguise when the world is watching so that no one knows who they are because this 0-3 football team, are you guys in agreement when I keep saying that this is a historically bad defense, or were you fooled by the second half against the Bills?

I think it's too early to tell.

Early in the season, how much worse would you have liked them to be than not to be able to stop any of the drives of the Colts and the Patriots?

I think the part that's so surprising with this defense, I think one thing most of us would have agreed upon going into the season was they're going to be able to rush the passer. They got some guys that are going to be able to get after the quarterback, and maybe that'll be the one saving grace to have in a terrible secondary is, All right, if you put pressure on the quarterback, that'll be okay then. Not only do they not get after the quarterback, but they blitz the most of any team in the league through the first three weeks, and they still don't get to the quarterback.

Well, explain to me why, okay, you guys are surprised by a lack of pressure. When I say the following, because Chubb's getting to the quarterback, but Phillips, you would understand why it is that his body is not right, and he might not be the same player he was. And Christian Wilkins was important to them, and he was important to Seeler. What they had coming up the middle when they were getting pressure and on the edges, we can agree that Wilkins was a very good player for them. Wilkins is missed in a lot of ways. So you're surprised. When I tell you Phillips's body is broken- Were you not, excuse me, encouraged by his performance against Buffalo, though, because I think prior to, he looked like, Man, have all the injuries.

Keep in mind, Jalen Phillips is a player that almost medically retired before he transferred to Miami. His body has taken a lot of- The University University of Miami, not the Dolphins.

Yeah.

I thought it was an encouraging performance against Buffalo. He's starting to get home a little bit more. That's a type of injury that we've seen over time. You need some time to bounce back.

Wilkins has missed.

Wilkins- He's missed. Wilkins-he's out there. I mean, he was released. They could go get him if they wanted to. He's recovering from injury. He's available.

I think that this is going to be a historically bad defense. I think they're going to have trouble stopping everybody all season.

Well, let them mesh. I mean, we'll see on Monday night football against the Jets, and then they have the Panthers, so he could be fooled about how good they are or not. Then we'll get a test. They take on the chargers, the Browns, and then the Falcons. That's the test, the charger game? No, with the Falcons, I wonder who's going to be quarterback at that point in time, right? Then after that, we have Ravens, Bills, Commanders. That's a difficult stretch. By the time the Saints come to town, November 30th, mark your calendars. We're going to know who this defense is.

Can you have two historically bad defenses in a span of six years? Because wasn't Dominic saying that it was criminal what they were doing six years ago? So now you have another-Unethical, not criminal. Unethical, my bad.

Yes, it is possible.

Now, another six years later, you have another historically bad defense.

That's like when they say someone's a generational talent and there's eight of those playing every year at the same generation, which makes no sense to me.

I think to be a historically bad defense, you need to be the worst defense in the league, which they are not. They are 26 in the league right now. If you wanted to say the Ravens have a historically bad defense, you would presently be right.

I don't think you can ever say the Ravens have a historically bad defense.

Teams with a worst defense than the Miami Dolphins, according to yards per game. Ravens, Giants, Cowboys, Bears, Stealers, Titans.

Don't pay attention to the stats. You can just never say the Ravens have a bad defense.

Give the dolphins time. They'll catch up. Let me just go back since we were talking baseball. And again, pitch clock will be later in the show as we continue to segregate baseball. But this is an exciting time of year for me. I really do enjoy baseball. But when you talk about what's happening with the tigers, look at this when I give you these stats. The tigers have lost eight in a row, 11 of 12 and 20 of 27, while the guardians have won 17 of 19. That's how that happened.

So Guardian's good. Do I write that down?

Guardian's good. Guardian's also hot. Hot at the right time.

Guardian's hot at the right time.

Jim Thomey, 52 home runs, 2002.

Yeah, that's the leader since 1994, since the AL Central was officially established. But you want to talk about the Guardian's and this collapse by the tigers? So on August 25th, fan graphs had the guardians as a 0. 0 chance to win the AL Central. On September 10th, it's only the 25th. On September 10th, they had a 0. 1 100% chance to win the AL Central. Now they are in sole possession of first place and own the tiebreaker over the tigers.

Who are the guardians?

Also, Paul Kneriko's career high was 41 in a season. That's good. Frank Thomas, 43. So it's a big difference.

You can't come at me and say it's a terrible guess when he was two behind the big hurt. That's not 43. That's not terrible. That's actually really good.

It's Jim Thomey, Albert Bell, Jim Thomey, Albert Bell, and then Salvador Perez.

Albert Bell. Every Every time you say Albert Bell, it brings a smile to my face, even though Albert Bell was a total menace as a human being who scared everybody around him. See if you guys can find on YouTube for me, Albert Bell being hit by a pitch and just refusing to go to first base, saying, No, I want to hit. I don't want first base. I want all of the bases. No, you're not allowed to do that. But he also... Somebody was mad at him because he was keeping the clubhouse too cold, and he just destroyed the thermometer with his bat, or that was on the wall.

He had three homers in the game already, which is why he didn't want to go to first. He was looking to hit a fourth home run that day. And so when he was hit by a pitch, he said, No, I'm good.

The first thing you think about with Albert Bell is when he threw the forearm shiver at the second basement trying to attempt to double play, right?

He's the The only player in baseball. There's been some sizable guys. You don't want to fight Mo Vaughn if he was coming out to the mound to fight with you. But he's the only guy in my career as a baseball player that I knew that everyone else was just afraid of him. They were afraid that he was going to beat them up. He also had a temper problem. He had a bunch of incidents, including... Didn't he chase some kids with his car on Halloween? He had a- A temper problem, huh?

Yes.

Like jeepers-greepers?

What do you think those kids were dressed I'm pretty sure that he has a long litany of things on the resume that suggests that, yeah, temper, needed to get it under control, had some issues with that.

But I just don't think of baseball players as being so menacing that you're afraid of them. Even Aaron Judge. You look at Aaron Judge.

No, he seems nice, Aaron Judge.

Can you give me some information about Aaron Judge being... About where it is that Aaron Judge was drafted? Because generally, players that size, their strike zone is too big for them to be hitting 50 home runs all the time. Because no matter how long their levers are, that size of a strike zone is too big of a strike zone for somebody to be as good as Aaron judge is. Where was he drafted, Jeremy?

He was drafted 32nd overall. So he was a first-round pick, but there were 31 players who went ahead of him. Ironically, that year, number one overall, Bryce Harper, number three, Manny Machado. So heck of a draft.

On Halloween in 1995, a bunch of teenagers decided to egg Albert Bell's house. That's where- So he decided, I'm going to chase them down with my car. Bell was fined $100 for reckless operation of a vehicle. The Guardian of the Teenager later sued Albert Bell for $850,000, contending that Bell's car had bumped into the teenager the lawsuit was settled in 1997.

I was wrong about that draft. He was drafted in the 31st round at a high school in 2010. Then he was drafted 32nd overall in 2013. That The draft was led by Mark Appell and then Chris Bryant.

You didn't need to correct yourself. You were right.

Billy, would you do me the favor, please, of just looking through all Albert Bell incidents? Because I think- It's not as fun if you continue.

Really?

You're not going to like where this goes.

2006, he was sentenced to 90 days in jails in five years probation after he admitted to stalking his former girlfriend. 2018, he was charged with indecent exposure and driving under the influence. Charges were dismissed.

Marlins took Colin Moran, sixth the year Aaron Judge on 32nd?

I want the incidents while he was playing baseball.

Oh, I thought you meant the legal troubles.

No.

He's like a nice guy otherwise.

No, I wanted the ones from his playing career. I pretty much understood just where he was coming from at all times, and it was just rage.

Under the personal problem section? Because that starts with alcoholism. That's not good either.

No, I'm just looking for stuff during the playing career, just stories that were told. I've told you guys before the story, like baseball clubhouses are funny, right? The Pirates had a second basement, Jose leaned, who one time for reasons that I didn't have any understanding for, I'm just standing there, and he throws a hunting knife across the room and embeds it in the wall. I'm like, Why would someone do that? That doesn't seem sane or reasonable in any way. The one who was feared by all other players was only Albert Bell. There's no close second on someone that was feared by everybody long before. If that player played today, we would have him go get treatment because all of us would understand that what's happening there is not sane, but he could hit a baseball very hard and very far and would hit three home runs in a game and then get hit by a pitch and say, I don't want to get it first.

How many throws would it take you to throw a knife at a wall and get it to stick?

A hunting knife? Those are sharp.

You're doing it first try? You're doing it first try, Tony?

Yeah, I'm doing it first try.

Chris, you feel like the handle is going to just hit the wall?

I'm just like, You got to throw a blade.

You don't throw it by the handle. You throw it by the blade first. You hold the blade?

Yeah, you throw it by the blade. No, that can't be how you do it.

That's how you do it. You throw it by the blade first so it has the rotation.

When you throw an ax, you don't hold the ax by the blade.

It's different, though.

I think he might be right, though. Really? Yeah, sure. I think. Put it on the poll at Lebitard's show. In order to embed a hunting knife in the wall, do you throw it by the blade?

Well, hold on a second, though. Explain that to me.

It's like a star. The ax is different. The ax is different. The ax has the handle. There's more surface area. Okay, there's more surface area on the blade of a knife than there is an ax.

Where are you getting this knowledge from?

It depends the size of the knife. I think he's right. Because you believe what he says because he just says it with confidence.

You have to do it in a hurry. You're going to lose a cheap situation.

That's very dangerous. The rotations matter. What if I throw from three inches further back, then that would be like half a rotation, and then the blade, the handle would hit.

You can fix that by throwing it faster.

Well, and this is very important. Do you throw the blade overhand or is it like you take it on your-Who does that?

Underhand is I could do that.

You don't have the same juice underhand. You got to go overhand.

That's how you get cut.

I'll decide how much juice I have.

Underhand?

Underhand is weak.

No, you can do underhand.

You'll know about that, Dan. You know about that underhand?

What are you doing here?

I do like Gambit.

That's how you get them?

Oh, yours is sideways.

Yeah, like Gambit.

You put your arm up. I don't see what you're doing.

No one throws a knife like a frisbie. That's a diabolism. I'm still throwing my blade.

Not like a frisbie. Like Gambit throws playing cards.

That's like a frisbie. What are you throwing at? Boomerang?

You're not getting anyone like that.

That's what I'm saying. Zaz knows.

Like Alex I've already stabbed you in the heart.

Like Alex Gonzales turning two.

Well, if you throw it, did you stab him?

I got lots of blades in my pop.

You guys are not noticing. Everyone's talking and no one's noticing that Zaz is providing a sound effect with his underhand blade throw that kills you while you're talking. You're giving opinions, and he's going left-handed. You're not expecting it in any way. And I'm a righty. Everyone else is coming at you over-handed. They're telegraphing what they're doing. He's doing it sneaky-style.

But he keeps missing us. That's the problem.

Are we doing this in a competition, or are we doing this like, Oh, it's real life. You need to throw something in the street. You're not going blade first. Too dangerous. If you have to do something quickly like that, you'll cut your hand.

Not if you're an accomplished hunting knife thrower. That's the thing. Like, Tony.

Plus, what you do is on the street, you grab it, and then you toss it up, and then catch it on the plate.

Wait, you're putting on a show?

That part we agree with. You have it in your thing. The swoosh is important.

You guys are all coming in, Zazlo. You're telegraphing what you're doing. You got your arms out. You got your blades out.

So many blades I throw you.

You do it too quick, though. I imagine you reach in, it's in your right pocket, and boom, you threw your keys at me.

Too quick for you to notice it's coming.

That's a Ninja Star technique, not a blades.

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