Transcript of Hour 2: The 10 AM Ludacris Concert (feat. Jessica Smetana)

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast. Against the Spread. Against the Spread is presented by Drap King. Drap King, the Crown is yours. Tony, go ahead. Against the Spread. Thank you, Roy. We're starting off in Thursday night football. Got Seahaw Seahawks traveling over to the Arizona Cardinals, and Cardinals are not that good. Seahawks, surprisingly good, Dan. That's a team that when I was asking Diana, I thought she was going to mention the Seahawks yesterday, saying that's a team that nobody's really talking about. The Seahawks are an interesting team. Sam Donnell playing well, Jackson Smith and Jigba, wide receiver, one, playing awesome. Defense, defense, playing tough. I know they haven't really played anybody, but this is their first division game. And the Cardinals, we all know, suck. Suck. So much so, Seahawks are a point and a half favorite against the Arizona Cardinals and the Big Toaster. Okay, we're going to go Seahawks minus one and a half against the Cardinals. Sam Darnold. Over two touch zones, by the way. Lock that in. That was against the spread. I'm going with Virginia.

That was pretty good right there. I'm surprised you weren't distracted there. Why don't you do it back to him?

I'm going with Virginia. I like the who's. That offense can move the ball. They had one game where they had 700 yards of offense. I'm a big fan of Chandler Morris, from TCU to North Texas, and now to Hooville. I think this is a scary night game for FSU. They may win, but it's going to be one of those shootout type of games. Nothing is given in the SEC. Everything is earned. I like the Hoos plus seven and a half. Against those spread.

You are the biggest national proponent of Virginia football that I have heard this century.

Wow. You haven't heard that their offense can light it up?

You have been very big on Virginia football, and I don't hear a lot of people saying what you're saying about Virginia football. Perhaps Jessica will say some of the same. Mike Gunde, I've been telling you that for the last two years, Mike Gunde has been in charge of what seems like the worst big football program in America. He has been fired. And while many of you cite his I'm a man, I'm 40 speech, I think he had one to rival it. So we're going to play both of them here. Let's play both sounds, but play whichever one you want first Roy, whether it's I'm a man, I'm 40, or whether what I believe to be just as bad a press conference that Mike Cundee gave.

I looked it up on my phone. What would be the legal limit? Oklahoma is 0.

08, and all he was 0.

1.

I looked it up and it was based on body weight. Not to get into the legal side of it, but I thought, really, two or three beers or four.

I'm not justifying what Ollie did. I'm telling you what decision I made. Well, I thought I'd probably done that a thousand times in my life.

That sounds like justifying it and getting into the legal part of it. He wasn't going to do either one. He doesn't want to do the legal part then. He did, but he ended up doing both.

That's 4,000 beers.

And let's play his other more famous press conference, the one that will be his entire career's remembrance, even though he occasionally won 10 games, none of which you remember.

If your child goes down the street and somebody makes fun of him because he dropped a in a pickup game or says he's fat and he comes home crying to his mom, you'd understand. But you haven't had that. But someday you will. And when your child comes home, you'll understand. If you want to go after an athlete, one of my athletes, you go after one that doesn't do the right things. You don't downgrade him because he does everything right and may not play as well on Saturday, and you let us make that decision? That's why I don't read the newspaper, because it's garbage. The editor that let it come out is garbage, attacking an amateur athlete for doing everything right. Then you want to write articles about guys that don't do things right and downgrade them, the ones that do make plays. Are you kidding me? Where are we at in society today?

Come after me. I'm a man. I'm 40. Welcome, Jessica. What were your thoughts on Mike Gunde being fired? It was a couple of games late.

He was a lot more entertaining when Oklahoma State was good than it's been the last couple of years. But I wouldn't even say it was a couple of games late, Dan. Well, I guess I would say that. It was four games late. I don't really understand why they did this now on a Tuesday during a game week and not last year when he agreed to restructure for his deal and clean house of coaches. It just seemed like the writing was on the wall last year. They went winless in the Big 12, and I really don't understand the timing of all of this. It reeks of dysfunction.

Well, they just lost to Tulsa, and then before that, the week, they lost to Tulsa at home. They got blown out by Tulsa at home, and they lost the week before. Who'd they lose to the week before? Because they lost another game where they weren't competitive.

They got destroyed by Oregon in an embarrassing fashion.

It was after Mike Gunde made comments about NIL, which has been the issue the last few seasons that Oklahoma State has not been competitive in NIL. But yes, Dan, the Tulsa game was actually a close game, which is almost worse that you almost could have beaten Tulsa. Those schools are very close to one another. But yeah, they got blown out so many times last year. I really just don't understand why do it on a Tuesday when you played on Friday, and now you have a game on Saturday, your offensive coordinator is taking over as the interim head coach. It's very strange.

Zazla, are you going to be at Georgia, Alabama this weekend? Yeah, I'm in Athens this weekend.

I'm very excited, actually.

That's going to be awesome. Jessica, do you feel like you know what Alabama is?

I don't feel like I know what any team is yet. I do know that I'm more skeptical on Virginia's offense than Mike is. I will say the caliber of defense Virginia has played so far this season. And yes, Mike, they have put up a lot of points against William and Mary in coastal Carolina. But Florida State's defense right now in DFEI is top 40 versus NC State, which is the next best defense that Virginia has played this season, ranking somewhere around 77 at the moment. And Virginia was able to score 31 points on them. But I'm a little bit more skeptical they're able to do quite as much damage against Florida State, but it remains to be seen. Maybe you'll be right.

So Alabama last year beat Georgia. It was an awesome game in Tuscaloos. That was the last time we felt good or Alabama fans felt good about Calin DeBore because the very next week, they lost to Vanderbilt. If they win in Athens this weekend, Jess, what do you think the conversation starts to sound like around the Alabama head coach?

Honestly, I think that it will be a lot of Georgia is not that good. We already saw Georgia down to the wire with Tennessee last weekend. I also think that if you go back to last year, look, Jalen Millrow won my September Heisman last year. He is an electric college football player. But even the second half against Georgia last year, Alabama let them all the way back into the game, and it took heroics from Ryan Williams and Millrow to ultimately win that game. So there was a lot of skepticism, I think, that Alabama was ready in the first half. They did a lot of scripted stuff well. They had a really good game plan. But then when Georgia was able to overcome some of their issues offensively, Alabama didn't have a great response to that. So I do think Alabama has a long way to go before the Calin DeBore doubters are proven wrong.

Georgia is a small favorite at home. Kirby Smart has beaten Alabama. How many? One time? Not a lot. What is he against Alabama? I think one and four, maybe. I think it might be like one and seven. In the regular season. I think he's been pretty bad against Alabama, and I'm not remembering the victory off the top of my head.

But it's also Saban. Saban's gone. The window's open now, Dan. Saban was Kirby's foil to a lot of people's minds. So there's really no excuse now.

So Mill You still won your September Heisman last year. Who's winning your September Heisman this year? Could it be John Mateer who just broke his hand and left OU in a pretty tough situation?

It's actually Diego Pavia. He's still the front runner for the September Heisman. But yeah, John Mateer's injury is not a good one, obviously. It seems like he could be back by the start of November. It really is a bummer for the Red River showdown, shootout, whatever we call it now, because those are two teams that I would have loved to see play each other at full strength. That's Texas and Oklahoma. So if he does come back, and Oklahoma can keep it together over the next few games, I think their defense is really going to have to step up and make things miserable for South Carolina's offensive line has already struggled this season. And we saw Oklahoma's defense really attack Auburn's quarterback last weekend. So they're going to have to really have some standout defensive performances, which, of course, is like that's Brent Venable's baby. I think that they're up to the task. But the other issue for Oklahoma's offense so far this season has been inconsistency in the run game. And it's difficult when your backup quarterback is coming in now. He did play a few games last year, Michael Hawkins Jr. But if you don't have a run game to really lean on and rely on, that makes his job a lot more difficult.

So I think Oklahoma is going to have to figure out some answers there and just play really, really great defense.

They're both going on at the same time this weekend, Jess. It's Saturday evening. If you could only watch one, Georgia, Alabama or Penn State, This is what the quad box is all about, Zaz.

I don't have to ever make that decision ever again.

What year is that question from?

Don't you like watching the game with sound?

Let me rephrase. Pretend this is a question from 2016. I don't know who you're impersonating there, not me. I don't know.

I think I would probably choose Penn State, Oregon, to be honest with you. It's a wideout game. Penn State really hasn't been tested at all this year. Oregon also hasn't played a top 25 team yet. I want to see their quarterback against a good defense, Dante Moore. It's a tough road game for Oregon, who I think... I don't know what the spread is on that game. There's a lot of games this weekend's as where the road team is favored by enough points that I'm like, I'm curious about that. Like, USC and Illinois. So Illinois just got blown out by 50 points, 60 points to Indiana last weekend. But USC is only a six and a half point favorite going to Urbana Champagne this weekend. So there's a few games like that. Notre Dame at Arkansas The line in some places down to three and a half, which to me indicates Notre Dame's best defensive player, Leonard Moore. Maybe he's not going to play this weekend. He's had a little bit of an ankle. That's really bad for Notre Dame's defense who really needs him to be able to play. That's what I'm going to be watching this weekend is some of the road favorites going in across cross country trips, seeing how they fare places like Oregon and Penn State.

Yeah, USA had a late night game last week, and now they're kicking things off with a noon start in Champagne. That's probably what the line is taking into account. I was really into this Notre Dame, Arkansas game before this season because I thought that could be a tricky spot for Notre Dame. Now I'm even more interested because Arkansas got caught looking ahead. I know Memphis is a good football team, but the way that game landed in their schedule. It was awfully nice for Memphis.

Arkansas shouldn't have lost that game.

They shouldn't have, but... Yeah, they blew it. But Memphis is a solid team, but Memphis is a solid team. But a lot of people are cite look ahead factor. It was sandwiched in between two big games. What do you think?

You think Arkansas's running back was looking ahead in the last three minutes when he fumbled inside the five-yard line.

I'm saying the reason why the game was close was because Arkansas was potentially... I mean, these are all clichés. I don't actually know. I doubt they were all like, Hey, we can't worry.

You know Ball? You told me at the beginning of the show today that you know Ball and I don't know Ball.

No, I didn't say I know Ball. I just said, You don't.

You said you know Ball.

I mean, I know more Ball than you. I don't know what you're doing right now.

You don't know more Ball than me. No, it wasn't just- He says he doesn't go to you for Ball.

Yeah, it was Jeremy, too. I don't go to either of you for Ball. But what do you make of this game, Jess? Because Notre Dame's defense I know their offense is scoring crazy. C. J. Carr, it seems like the truth, but that defense only gets more scary when they give up 30 points of Purdue.

Yeah. Well, one of those touch downs was in Garbage Time. We talked about this extensively in my podcast, The Echos with Michael Jr. Notre Dame Overall, their coverage hasn't been what was expected coming into the season. They had to start two true freshmen last year, or last weekend, I'm sorry, because of injury, and a red-shirt freshman at safety because of a targeting penalty from the game before. So They were playing a little bit inexperienced in the secondary, which is a position group that was excellent for them last year. Again, like I said, Leonard Moore being out, and he's one of probably the best corner in college football, that's a really tough loss to overcome for Notre Dame. They really have to figure out what they're doing in the secondary. I think that starts up front with the pass rush. They've got to be able to figure out how to get some pressure on the quarterback. Taylor Green for Arkansas is a really exciting player to watch. He does make mistakes, but he can move, and he can He can exploit you if you're not disciplined. So I think it's a tough task for Notre Dame defensively.

But you're right, Mike. Arkansas's defense has also let teams run the ball well. Notre Dame has two awesome running backs, Jadari Price and Jeremiah Love. Cj Carr has been great. The wide receivers have been really solid. The offensive line has gotten better every week. So I'm taking the overs in every Notre Dame game until proven otherwise. I mean, this was a team last year that shut teams down defensively. That has not been the case so far this year. And granted, they have played two top 25 teams to start the year and did well enough against Purdue to blow them out. So take it with a grain of salt.

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Com/batard. Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan, and I know it's early in the NFL season, but it has shown you exactly why the NFL is indeed king sport in the United States of America. Great games. Incredible matchups, in-demand tickets for these high-profile games. Sometimes, oftentimes, these games are sold out and you're left with the secondary market. Well, let me tell you about my go-to on the secondary market, the official ticketing partner of the Dan Levitard Show. I'm talking, of course, about game time. Game time's amazing for a lot of different reasons: zone deals, panoramic CPUs, the low price guarantee, and game time's unparalleled ticket coverage. I'm an NFL free agent, so I'm always looking for the biggest games, and game time makes it so easy to peruse the app, one of my favorite features is fees are always included. What you see is what you pay. And that is hugely important when you're traveling abroad to catch the game de jour. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with game time. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code Dan, and get $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off.

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I don't like smutty either.

Stugats.

Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. You got beef with any top 25 teams right now?

I don't have beef with anyone ever, Zaz. What are you talking about?

I mean, like the rankings. You got beef with any of the rankings.

No, It's week four. I don't have beef. Well, I saved my beef to week 10, and then I get really beefy.

Do you have a way to get intrigued about Clemson UNC?

I'm scheduled for that.

The most exciting thing about Clemson UNC is that they're doing something before the game that everyone should do all the time. They announced there's this concert series going on at North Carolina this year, and Ludacris would be performing before the game. The kickoff time was TBD. Everyone thought, Maybe it'll be primetime kickoff because it's Clemson and UNC. No. They got a noon slot, so Ludacris will supposedly be performing at 10: 00 AM. This is what time all concerts should start, Dan. 10: 00 AM, you're in there, you're drinking your coffee, maybe you're still in your jammies. The concert ends, you go to the game, and then you go home and you go to bed. Why aren't we doing this more often?

Should I go to the Ludacris concert? I think I'm going to be there.

But 10: 00 AM is too early for a Ludacris concert.

I don't know.

Put it on the poll, please, You at Lebitard Show. Is 10 AM too early for a Ludacris concert? Ludacris.

Luda. Give me that energy.

We need to do more 10 AM concerts. I saw that there's some bar that opened in New York where it opens at 8: 00 and then people come and dance, and then they leave at 10: 00. I need to figure out where this thing is because that is my timeline. You eat an early dinner, early bird special dance, 6: 30. You go out, you dance, you have a couple of drinks. You're in bed by 11: 00. I can't think of a single thing that sounds than that.

You are a young person. How is it that you are a fossilized mummy inside?

I love sleeping. I love my bed. I have the most comfortable bed in the entire world. I have just an amazing setup. I have wonderful sheets. I have a wonderful duvet, Dan. It just feels so good when I get into bed at night, and I think about it from the minute I wake up. I think about how cozy I'm going to be come 10: 30. And these stupid 11: 00 PM Eastern Big Ten conference games are cramp in my style. I hate it. I hate staying up to watch WMBA playoff games. I hate all of it. I want to be in bed, falling asleep to the Hawaii game, and I wake up maybe in the second quarter, it's 12: 45 or something, and then I fall back asleep, and then I wake up again, and then I fall back asleep. That's how it should be.

You're thinking about your bed while you're in your bed in the morning. You're thinking about getting back into your bed at night.

I wake up and I'm like, This feels so good. I can't wait to be back here in 12 hours.

Jess, what did you make of Whit Weeks and Lane Kiffin's daughter, hard launching. Wait.

Okay, I have a prop. Hold on. Hold on. Stay there.

Okay. All right. We're going to be right here. For those that don't know- Where could we go?

For those that don't know, Whit Weeks, who's a tremendous player for LSU, their team captain, he decided to announce to the world that he is dating Lane Kiffin's daughter, and it just so happens to be game week between LSU and Ole Miss. So the head games have started early. I think that Lane Kiffin has already said, take the over on social media saying that he's got to run it up on that LSU defense. So the banter has already begun. And today, there is a special on ESPN, The Many Lives of Lane Kiffin. I might actually be in on that because- That looks good. I saw some clips. I mean, he's had a remarkable incredibly interesting career and life, so I'm dialed. Is a coach allowed to tweet out, take the over?

Chris, I had the same question. There must be some rules about that. Mike, I don't know if you I said this while I was getting my prop. Do you know what Witte Wix's nickname is?

I do not know his nickname.

Well, let me show you. He's the Honky Badger.

That is right.

If you guys remember, I said last year, Lehman was producing that SEC, any given Saturday show that was on Netflix that came out a couple of months ago.

Which in no way has influenced your Diego Pavia takes.

No, not at all. I mean, Lee barely talked to Diego Pavia. That's not true. Total, full disclosure. He shot a lot with Vanderbilt. The Honky Badger, that is the nickname of Whit Weeks. He wears a very slutty crop top. He's like a white middle linebacker. We have this koozie now, courtesy of the Weeks brothers. I'm not sure which one. There's three of them on LSU, Dan. I'm not sure which one gave this to Lehman, but he shot some stuff with them at their- The Honey Badger is retired, right?

He's not in the league anymore. The Honey Badger is out of the NFL.

He was on Amazon pregame coverage. I was impressed with him, and Derek Carr got high marks there, too.

Last question before we let you go here. And again, The Echos is the name of her podcast for all your Notre Dame information. Sister Jean retired. Retired from what?

From her job being the basketball lady. Still with us. Here's the thing, Dan. Yesterday, have you guys talked about the rapture yet?

A little bit yesterday. How old is Sister Jean?

Is she 106, I believe. That's too old. Yesterday, I saw the quote graphic come up that she was retiring, and I thought that she had passed away. And I am a Jackass, so I wanted to be the first person to the group chat with the rapture joke. And then I realized after the fact, it just said retired. So I felt really terrible about that. I guess I would feel worse if she did actually pass away. But I mean, she's 106. She's obviously had an incredible life. So anyways, shout out to Sister Jean, not raptured. Yeah, I guess my beef with the top 25s as, let's bring it full circle, Illinois Am I still being ranked after losing by 50 points is silly. I'm with you.

I don't think you could be ranked if you lose to anyone by 50.

Yeah, that's a lot of points.

I thought you didn't do beef until week 10. What happened?

You changed your opinion. This is like, what's it called? Like, impossible chicken or whatever. This is like, fake beef. It's vegan beef. It's made out of, I don't know, satan, whatever that stuff's called.

I don't think it's called satan.

S-e-i-t-a-n. I don't know how to pronounce that word. You guys don't know anything about vegan food.

Don't scold me. I don't. Dan does, though. I would say satan would probably be bad for branding. I would say maybe satan.

Satan, perhaps. Miloslaw?

Mike Ryan.

It's a wheat derivative.

What is your take on being 106 years old?

It's too old for somebody. People shouldn't be that old. Time to die?

My grandma always says, put a bullet in my head if I live that long, which is very inappropriate.

Especially these last few years, Sister Jean, she'd lived through COVID. You just got to be like, we're not exactly- She's lived through a lot more than COVID. We're not exactly ending this on nothing. She was around for the original COVID. She was just retired. She's on the back nine now.

She lived through the bubonic plague. Covid's a disease come lately compared to what she lived through.

It's crazy She says she's lived long enough for them to invent germ theory and then also rebuke germ theory again.

I mean, holy crap. That is Jessica's grandmother. Sister Jean? That is not Sister Jean. Good seeing you, Jessica. Thank you for being on with us.

Don Levatard. I don't think I ever got that many roses in my whole life.

Stugatz.

Certainly not from your lovely grandfather, God may us all rest in peace. This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz.

I want to get to a handful of things here, including something that the Onion is reporting, but we've got to get to- I love them. Yeah, it's a pretty good report. I'm going to get it from my phone now. But first, I need the Ray Hudson call of the day because you guys think I'm going to forget about this, and we're going to do it every day until- We don't need the full open, though.

We're hoping you forget about it.

Every day until the World Cup.

Ray Hudson.

This is what Dan wanted.

This is what Dan wanted.

He wanted a call of the day.

He wanted, wanted, wanted.

Ray Hudson, call of the day.

I'd like the call now as well, though.

Oh, okay. That's just the area.

That's what he does in his life. He doesn't get any better wall football than this, people.

Xavi sets the table beautifully. And Lionel Messi, once again, just capitalizes like only Lionel can. Tricky out of the monkey of a monkey Messy, messy, messy, Messy, Messy, Messy.

Pure scientific football again. This is a report from The Onion Dateland, Indianapolis. With observers noting that the tragic development evidently has yet to affect the show's content in any way. Reports confirmed Monday that no one working at the Pat McAfee show seems to have noticed that co-host AJ Hawk has been dead for the last three days.

I saw that. That was funny. He He's got blood coming out of his nose, and he's gaunt.

Hold on a minute. I got to read more from the report. Quote, What's His Face has been dead since last week, but look, none of the other guys are even aware of it. Pat's just going on about the Raven's run defense while the poor guy slumped over and decomposing in his chair. Longtime viewer, Russell Barker said of Hawk's bloated putrifying corpse, acknowledging that the deceased talk show personality's glassy empty stare has grown even glassy and emptier since his passing. You think someone would have picked up on the fact that he's not blinking or moving, but Pat and the Toxic Table Boys are cutting it up with Kirk Herb Street like it's a regular show, or maybe they're just tuning him out like they always do. At Last time, sources reported that a rat had begun gnawing on Hawk's face as McAfee questioned whether Vikings quarterback JJ McCarthy would be able to adjust to pro-level pass rush.

That's a good question, though.

I'm surprised more people I still haven't picked up on this story.

Dan, I hate to break this to you because we're having so much fun, but the onion is satirical. Oh, come on, man.

Oh, is it? Yeah. Oh, I got ball-sacked.

Yeah, he's alive.

Oh, that's... Well, I'm not going to say that's too bad.

I almost trapped you.

Tony, I've got some problems here with your guys' adult friends. Your guy's adult friends seem to have some judgment issues. I'm worried about Chris Cody, who's going away for the weekend on a buddy trip. I think he's a little old for that, and I think his friends are too immature for that. I'm worried about the judgment of Tony's friends as well, because one of your friends has done something bad this week.

One of my friends, Dan, has done something unspeakable. Not even bad, unspeakable. He's a great kid. I love this kid. Shout out to Steven, big fan of his. I like him. Him and his wife had a daughter. Her daughter's birthday, September 28th, which also happened to be Sunday. So instead of like any rational person would do as the head of your household and being like, Hey, we're setting the date on a Saturday. They're having the party on a Sunday. On a Sunday? Okay. Maybe a 10 o'clock birthday. She's a year old. You got a 10 o'clock birthday, 11 o'clock birthday. You're there for a couple of hours. Love that when you're done by noon. Exactly. Being bad. All right, we're done. We're going to go to the Carolina Hill house, watch the games.

I'm like, No, no.

What we're going to do is Sunday, 3: 00 PM. What? Now, that's a problem. 3: 00? My wife put it in the calendar. That's a witching hour. Are they calling it the witching hour party? I was like, Wait a second, babe. Hold It should be called Bullshit.

I'm looking at the thing and I'm like, Well, wait, Sunday is her first birthday party at 3: 30.

Why is that in my calendar? She's like, Yeah, that's when they're having the party. It's at a park. I'm like, At a park? At a park? There's no TVs at a park. There's no TVs at a park. I'm like, So it's Sunday. It's three o'clock in the middle of all the great games that are happening. Then on top of that, we got Ravens chief starting at 4: 25, and I'm going to be where? You can't go. At a park in Westchester? Don't go. Hot as balls? Why are you going to go? Because they're part of our friend group.

Ball and chain.

Well, you said it. Part of your friend group? Part of our friend group. Not part of your friend. No, Jenny's friends with his wife. That sounds like a Jenny friend show up thing. Yeah, with the big thing. Jenny's attendance more required than Tony's attendance. Tony's got a job. Honey, I got a job. I mean, it's Ravens' Chiefs. It's a Waterloo game. And on top of that, in the 1: 00 PM slot, Eagles Bucks.

A Waterloo game? You've got it as a Waterloo game? Yes.

That's right, Dan. Three consecutive weeks of saying Waterloo game.

What are you expecting from the Chiefs? Because you've been yelling at me for three weeks about the Chiefs.

I'm expecting the Chiefs to do what they usually do against Lamar Jackson, and that's win. Lamar Jackson is one and five in his career against the Kansas City Chiefs. One and three Ravens? Yeah. Well, you want to take that same tone and say one and three Chiefs? There's one team of our generation, and it would be far more shocking for that team to be the one and three team, the one and three team Chiefs. That'd be absurd to me. That'd be It's crazy. You know what's crazy? Having a birthday party at three o'clock on a Sunday when we have that massive game. On top of that, the other game in the four o'clock slate, Colts of Rams, which have you said, big game. I don't want to do spoilers, but I told you already. I think I can compete with Tony in terms of friends doing things that we don't like them to do. Because I'm traveling. Dan painted it as a boys trip. This is a couples trip going away from one of my oldest friends' 40th birthdays. Age-wise? He's turning 40. Yes. It's your oldest friend, though. Well, no, one of my longest friends.

Apologies. Why don't you say longest? Anyways, so we're going on a cruise, okay? And I have this thing when I go on cruises. I get the drink package. Anytime I see a group with matching shirts, you do a shot. And I love this game. I'm going to be that group this weekend. They're doing matching shirts. We got sent to my house yesterday. It says, happy 40th. What happens on the cruise stays on the cruise. We're going to be those people the first day of the cruise wearing the matching shirts. And I've always loaded this. And it's this one friend. I'm going to call him by It's Matt and his wife. They did this for his bachelor party when we did Epcot around the world. It's the only friends of mine that I've ever had. Is it Matt or is it his wife? If you really want to get to the weeds of it, I don't think Matt's doing this. But it's matching shirts, and I don't want to be wearing them. I need to ask you something first about this drink package because this is always a debate for me when we go on cruises.

How much do you have to drink in a day to feel like, Okay, this was worth it? I think the general line is anywhere from 8: 00 to 11: 00. Nine and a half drinks is the line. The boy is starting. We're starting at 10: 00 AM by the pool. This is not an issue. If you're a Cody, this is not a problem for you. Start earlier. I'm robbing the place.

Well, the cruise, are you coming to work on Monday? Are you going to be off next week? It's a one-day cruise?

This is a cruise out of Port Cnavril, so I'm traveling up to Orlando. I will not be in Monday because of that. How many days are you on this cruise? We leave Friday afternoon. Port's Monday morning, and then I drive back. For the weekend, you're going to have at least 30 drinks is what you're saying. Do you want me to try to count? Because I think I'll smash that over. Please try to count. I would like to see that. I can see. You ever do this move? I feel pride and shame when you look at the date because the way it works on your drink, you get a bill and it's all zero dollars, but it tells you every bar you got to drink at. I'm telling you, on a good day, on Saturday when we hit Coco K, I'm talking 20. I'm thinking 20. What number would it have to be for you to be a little bit like... That was a lot. Over 25, and I'm like, That's crazy. 25 drinks in a day?

The apple martini doesn't fall far from the tree on this one. The only thing that the Coties like more than a drink is a bargain. So they're going to make sure to get their money.

And both of them together? Man, don't sell yourself short there, pal. I'm telling you, I know it sounds crazy, 20 drinks. You start at 10: 00 AM. The way you're ordering these drinks, I'll take a shot here. You can get to 15 before 4: 00 PM. Fellas can drink on this show. Fellas can drink. We like drinks.

I mean, 15 drinks. No, that's going to feel bad. You're going to be useless to us next week. Just totally useless. I want to give you guys some football stats, and I want you guys to tell me which one of these you find most interesting. Derrick Henry has two fourth-quarter fumbles this season. Before that, he had two fourth-quarter fumbles in 136 games. The Giants, while they're in the division of the Eagles, who have won 19 of It's a good team. The Giants are 3 and 17 since the start of last season. And since Dayball started 7 and 2, he's 11, 33 and 1. So he has done nothing since the initial start, where he made us all think that Daniel Jones was good for a while, and then we wandered away and are like, It's not good. And then he's back to being good again. And Ashton Genti, 68% of the time this season, he's being hit behind the line of scrimmage. He's He's making tackles. He's got 150 yards after contact, but it's always contact in the backfield. Three out of four plays, Ashton Genti is getting the ball, and he's getting hit before he gets to the line of scrimmage.

He definitely hates his life, right?

That offensive line. Mina and others thought the Raiders were going to be good at offense. They got Pete Carroll, they got Gino Smith, they got Tom braided, and they can't do anything.

Geno's up there in yards. Yeah, because they're so far behind. He's constantly chucking it up. I'm shocked at how sideways this has gone for the in two weeks.

What are your thoughts on which of those stats was the most interesting one?

I think the Genti. I mean, it seems like a miserable existence if you're Ashton Genti through three games. We were all so certain. This guy, I know he doesn't have the pro body type, but we were all certain watching college football. That guy's really, really good. And if there's ever an argument to pick a running back high, it's Genti. But then I do remember the photos of him at the Heisman ceremony, and he is so much smaller than the other guys. I'm like, I'm curious to see how this is going to look in the NFL. So far it doesn't look great, but it doesn't look great because he's getting hit behind the line of scrimmage because Dan mentioned he is breaking tackles. He's just not going to look the same dynamic if he's getting hit that often in the backfield.

The other thing in this sport that I think is either undercover or covered poorly. Lane Johnson left the game the other day for the Eagles, and they had 10 yards on the next six drives because Lane Johnson Johnson is enormously important to that football team. And I don't think we talk about offensive linemen enough. When I say Trent Williams, you know what I'm saying. When I say Lane Johnson, you know what I'm saying. But after that, you don't think of dominant offensive linemen. And the idea that the Eagles would lose Lane Johnson and a team that has won 19 of 20 for the next six drives would get a total of 10 yards because they can't do very much. If Lane Johnson is not out there mauling everybody.

We don't know what we're watching. We don't know how to evaluate quarterback play. We don't know the route, so we don't know how good a receiver is. We're doing our best with the information that we have, and we don't even have a live all-22 in most of the cases. It is a little confusing to me, though, how in a game of real estate acquisition, we choose to ignore general units because who cares? Individual, it's hard to tell what a guard does, I guess. Center staff. They pull. Yeah, they can pull in sometimes. Sometimes they push. But individual units should absolutely be talked about way more. The Eagles's offensive line unit gets talked about a lot. They don't have Jason Kelsey, so less so now. But it's the game. They literally put a ball where they think you move the line of scrimage to. And a lot of teams base their identity on literally just doing that. We are going to push our way down the field, and it opens everything up. It opens everything up for the quarterback. It makes every other player on the field that much better, and we just choose to ignore it.

If you put importance on every single unit on a football team, are the Eagles offensive line the best unit in football? I love that take. Yes, Yes. Like receiver, quarterback room, DBs, linebackers, across the board. The single most important unit in the sport, pro-NFL. So you're asking, is the Eagles Offensive Line better at what they do the best quarterback in the NFL. Then everything. Better than Patrick Mahomes or Josh Allen? I think the Eagles's offensive line over the last few years has been better at its job than even Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson or Patrick Mahomes have been at their individual job. I raise you the bangles wide receiver. It's a good room. Yeah, but Burrows out, and all of a sudden, Jamarch Hayes, Tee Higgens had one catch us last week.

When you guys talk about guard play, I was trying not to be a prisoner of the moment during University of Miami, Florida game when I said, Brockemeier, that's the worst game I've ever seen a center play because I'm not watching the center, and so I'm not ever noticing what the hell the center is doing. I'm like, Why does he keep getting penalties? Why can't he snap the ball on time? Why is the center getting multiple false starts?

Grades are really high for them. I don't know what I'm watching. Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan, and I know it's early in the NFL season, but it has shown you exactly why the NFL is indeed king sport in the United States of America. Great games, incredible matchups, in-demand tickets for these high-profile games, sometimes, oftentimes. These games are sold out, and you're left with the secondary market. Well, let me tell you about my go-to on the secondary market, the official ticketing partner of the Dan Levitard show. I'm talking, of course, about game time. Game time is amazing for a lot of different reasons. Zone deals, panoramic CPUs, the low price guarantee, and GameTime's unparalleled ticket coverage. I'm an NFL free agent, so I'm always looking for the biggest games, and GameTime makes it so easy to peruse the app. One of my favorite features is fees are always included. What you see is what you pay. And that is hugely important when you're traveling abroad to catch the game de jour. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Dan, and get $20 off your first purchase.

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