Transcript of JuJu Is Teammates With Landon Donovan | Postgame Show

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Episode summary

This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz covers a lively postgame segment in which JuJu offers his NFL betting picks for Week 9, including a parlay built around the Cleveland Browns and the Detroit Lions. The hosts then turn to an upcoming media soccer match, where JuJu jokingly claims an advantage because Landon Donovan is on his team, and they joke about who might pull a hamstring.

The show also recaps stories the group missed, runs audience poll results on movies and players, and closes with a mock proclamation honoring Greg Cody. Listeners get a loose, humorous look at sports betting talk and the show's running jokes.

In this episode Dan Le Batard

The transcript of this Dan Le Batard Show episode about JuJu's Landon Donovan soccer plans was made with the technology behind HappyScribe's subtitle generator.

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Mike Ryan has again run out of the room to handle an assortment of bathroom issues that are all University of Miami related. He is supposed to be up on Football America after the postgame, but I don't know if his stomach's going to hold up. But right after postgame, live a new episode of Football America with Dave Damishack.

Speaker 400:01:55

That's weird, right?

Dan Le Batard00:01:56

Or Dam Damishack, as Andrew Hawkins likes to call him. Let's do Thursday Thunder before and as we get to JuJu.

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That's right. It's Thursday Thunder, presented by DraftKings Sports. DraftKings, the crown is yours. JuJu.

JuJu00:02:17

Yes, sir, man. Thursday Thunder, we are back. I don't know if you heard the word on the curb, but Chedurus starting this Sunday for the Cleveland Browns, which means his favorite target, Harold Fannin Jr., will get over 3.5 receptions. Lock it in. Next leg, I don't know if you heard, but word on the curb, Garner Menshu is starting for the Cardinals now, and he will get that second string tied in.

Because you know, when them backups come in, they're familiar with the second string. Elijah Higgins for over 1.5 receptions this Sunday.

Dan Le Batard00:03:01

That is a deep cut right there. Going with the guy after McBride.

JuJu00:03:09

Yes, sir. Next leg, I'm going with the man with the greatest name for a running back in the league right now, Kenneth Gainwell, for over 6 rush attempts. They had to wear Bucky Irving out last week, and so I think my boy's going to step in, especially with the injury to Sean Tucker. You dig it? Last leg, Miami Dolphins burnt me last week, so I'm revisiting the well this week.

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I'm taking the Lions for minus 6.5 to get the dub against the Miami Dolphins. DraftKings Sports, now available in all 50 states.

Speaker 200:03:54

Dan is JuJu has an incredible parlay there, incredible combo for NFL stuff. I'm not going to be actually watching the NFL this Sunday. Do you know why?

Dan Le Batard00:04:02

I do not.

Speaker 200:04:02

It's going to be sad because I'm going to be footballing, but not footballing the way that we think. As you can see, I've got this beautiful inner Miami jersey. I'm playing in the Copa de Medios. I'm playing in the media game, and a certain someone over base in Atlanta is going to be playing with me. JuJu Gotti and I going to Copa de Medios at New Stadium on Sunday, and we're going to have a complete package ready for you next week. We're going to be on separate teams, so I'm very excited to see if we can meet somewhere in the middle, and I can beat JuJu for a championship. Even though I think he's got an unfair advantage, he's got Landon Donovan on his team.

What's that about?

JuJu00:04:37

I can't believe that, bro. When I saw I was on beat Landon team, I said, "Hood of Atlanta, look at me now." Me and Landon Donovan, yes, sir, taking to the pitch. Back to you guys, man.

Dan Le Batard00:04:49

Do you play soccer, JuJu? Do you play? Are you any good at soccer?

JuJu00:04:53

I'm talking about not one single minute in my life I have ever played, but I got Landon Donovan on my squad.

Speaker 200:05:00

You're going to be a glue guy out there. Set some screens, right? Set some screens.

Dan Le Batard00:05:04

You aren't a coach.

Speaker 200:05:06

Dan, as you can see.

Dan Le Batard00:05:07

Go ahead, Landon, go ahead.

Speaker 200:05:08

He's got Landon Donovan on his team. You can see who the number 10 is on my team.

JuJu00:05:12

It's you.

Speaker 200:05:13

It's me, and I'm a hell of a striker.

JuJu00:05:15

Oh boy.

Speaker 200:05:16

Hell of a striker. This is what you don't know about me. I've actually played Conchita, and I'm an actual dynamite striker. All right, but this is soccer.

JuJu00:05:24

No, but see, that's why.

Speaker 200:05:26

You're getting close. Conchita's little soccer. You just don't speak Spanish. You monk.

JuJu00:05:31

Look, if I'm being honest, if I leave Sunday without pulling a hamstring or two.

Speaker 200:05:36

It's a win.

JuJu00:05:36

I think it's a success.

Dan Le Batard00:05:37

Well, this is what's happened, though. Anytime anyone around here has taken on an athletic endeavor of any kind the last three times, there's been a leg injury.

JuJu00:05:48

Oh, man.

Dan Le Batard00:05:48

No, it has been. It's been Greg Cody twice and Tony once, and the last three times we've done this, someone's gotten hurt. We're not making that up. It's happened every time.

Speaker 200:05:58

Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

JuJu00:06:00

Well, at least I'll be in studio next week as well to be able to display the injury or the trophy. You never know.

Dan Le Batard00:06:07

What else did we get either wrong today or miss or not get to? What happened today where we failed, JuJu?

JuJu00:06:15

Yes, sir, man. We didn't mention. Zaslo was right. You dig it? CJ Gardner Johnson Jr. has been cut by my boys. They said his spit gate was a little too much. I thought we needed every defensive back we could get our hands on, but they said, "Nah, bro, his culture doesn't fit our establishment." Zaz, you were right again.

Speaker 200:06:36

Thank you.

Dan Le Batard00:06:37

I love that no-ball. After he called Chisholm a practice squad player, Chisholm is in the league now and he's not?

JuJu00:06:44

Exactly, bro. Very embarrassing way to go out. And he's of the streaming culture, so he's been saying a lot. It's a lot of film of him saying some of the most embarrassing things to have said for someone who has just gotten cut.

Dan Le Batard00:06:58

Anything else that we missed?

JuJu00:07:00

Yes, sir, man. And we didn't mention it, but Miles Garrett quietly back in practice for the Rams this week. Does that mean anything, Tony? I know that you and Big Damn Damishack been talking. Does that mean anything?

Speaker 200:07:14

Yeah, it means a lot.

Dan Le Batard00:07:15

You threw it to Tony. Tony's no longer here. I don't know where it is that he went. He just.

Speaker 200:07:19

I covered.

JuJu00:07:20

Whoops.

Speaker 200:07:21

I feel like I did well. He's going to go practice soccer. I feel like I was a good teammate there. I slid right in. I was like, "I got you, JuJu." I'll answer that.

Dan Le Batard00:07:27

Yeah, you said you didn't say yes and. You just said yes.

Speaker 200:07:31

Yeah, man.

Dan Le Batard00:07:31

You said and. You just said yes and yes.

Speaker 200:07:34

All of it.

Dan Le Batard00:07:36

Anything else that we missed other than Tony? We missed Tony.

JuJu00:07:41

Nah, Tony went with it, bro. I was going to bring up the fact that we didn't bring up the soccer, but Tony had my back, so he did that on his way out. Salud.

Dan Le Batard00:07:49

You were terrible today, Chris. Terrible. You, Tony, and Zaz, all of you. The only one who was great today was Cody.

JuJu00:07:59

I mean, you wasn't that great, if I must say, Dan. You feel me? Get off Greg Cody's plantation. I'm like, "Whoa, what was that?"

Speaker 200:08:07

That was kind of wild.

Dan Le Batard00:08:09

How's that petition going?

Speaker 200:08:11

Let's see. I'll check in now, see where we've gotten from our four. Oh my god, we're at 94 signatures.

JuJu00:08:17

Dozens.

Speaker 200:08:18

I mean, guys, we're almost at 100. This is going to happen. We're changing plantation to Codyville.

JuJu00:08:22

Codyville.

Dan Le Batard00:08:25

JuJu, let's update some poll results unless you've got anything else that we missed.

JuJu00:08:30

Nah, you didn't miss it. To add on to your Nick Cage conversation, I don't give a damn if Brad Pitt is in the movie. It's a Nick Cage film, but you already know what I mean. Is the Grim Reaper a person? 58% of the audience says, "Yes, he is."

Dan Le Batard00:08:46

I am getting aroused.

JuJu00:08:48

Oh, damn. Did you just say that? Was that a clip?

Dan Le Batard00:08:51

I mean, there were so many costumes the other day. Everybody was talking about costumes. Everybody was picking bad things from the bucket that we're going to make with everybody. Everybody was going to be in a costume soon.

JuJu00:09:01

I'm going to cover myself up and read the rest of these. Should Gardner Menshu play in jean shorts? 96% of the audience says, "Yes, that brother should."

Dan Le Batard00:09:11

I am getting aroused.

JuJu00:09:14

Has Gardner Menshu ever played stoned? 93% of the audience says, "Yes, he has."

Dan Le Batard00:09:21

I am getting aroused.

JuJu00:09:23

If you want to have a look, have a look. 95% of the audience says, "Yes."

Dan Le Batard00:09:30

I am getting aroused.

JuJu00:09:33

And last poll, did you know that Christian Bale is in the John Madden movie? 52% of the audience says, "No," and those are your polls.

Dan Le Batard00:09:42

I am getting aroused. Roy, would you play for me? Please. Jason Jackson, Jay Jacks if you're nasty. Giving the call of Clay Thompson hitting a shot he's never hit before last night.

Speaker 400:09:53

On the chance. Pella, but he gets it to Clay for 3. Splash! He does one. One second to go. Half court. Heave! Nah, baby, nah! Clay Thompson, you're diabolical, baby. You still got it.

JuJu00:10:17

You get nasty.

Dan Le Batard00:10:18

See you later, JuJu. Thank you.

Speaker 600:10:21

Whereas Greg Cody was born on September 10, 1954, in Lawrence, Massachusetts. And whereas Greg has been a resident of Broward County for nearly 70 years and has made his home in Codyville since 1989. And whereas Greg has been married to his wife, Arlene, for 46 years, and they share two sons, Michael and Chris, and one grandchild with another on the way. And whereas Greg's first foray into journalism began at age 10 when he began writing a family newsletter, the Cody News.

And whereas Greg credits his MacArthur High School English journalism teacher, Cheryl O'Connor, plays for nurturing his writing talent and encouraging him to join the school newspaper where he became sports editor of the MacArthur High Times. And whereas Mrs. Place also encouraged Greg to do what no one else in his family had done, attend college. Greg went on to.

Episode description

"I don't know if you heard the word on the curb..."

Tony and JuJu are destined to pull their hamstrings.
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