Transcript of Jason Benetti: MLB's Funniest Broadcaster? | Hour 1 New

This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

This episode of the Dan Levitar Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

James Harden in 3 elimination games this season, 7 for 27 from the field, 1 for 17 from 3.

They're going to give him more money.

Woof. We've told you before that Jason Benetti is as good as anyone who is broadcasting games of any kind, not just baseball games. And we wanted to bring him in to see if we could get a discounted rate for charity on sneaking catchphrases into a broadcast. I'm told that Boog was able to do one of these this weekend. He's going off script. We have not— do I have to pay for this? I told him I'd give him $1,000 for a hee haw 3 to his ALS charity, but I don't— he's not doing it when he's supposed to do it. He's just doing it whenever he wants to.

You know, the plate umpire will drop his signature like hee-haw 3 or whatever. Is that the same when he's just doing it part of conversation?

He didn't actually— he didn't actually do the call.

Fairly obvious.

And he didn't say, but that's right.

He didn't say the bidet up. So I think I only have to give $400 instead of $1,000.

Yeah, yeah.

Just take the money from the charity for sure.

Yeah, I think—

well, you got to honor.

You gotta honor the character. We need him for Dan!

Dan didn't do that. Boog did.

Boog left money on the table.

That's Boog's fault, and Boog could have helped people suffer from ALS more, and he failed. And that's a Boog problem. And we'll bring on Jason Bonetti here to see if he can do better. I think it should be cheaper though with Bonetti. Do I have this wrong? I think— because this is what I fear. Boog will do it 3 or 4 times. Bonetti will do all 60 of them. Like, I genuinely fear he'll bankrupt me. Here he is right now, and he's smiling the entire time. We have sent him a list of the catchphrases. How many of these do you think you could do during a broadcast?

Nothing says, yeah, Jason, go do this, like hazing Boog coming into the segment for doing it wrong. Yeah, it's super welcoming. I'm very happy to do it. No, it sounds like fun, but there seem to be a lot of parameters. Like, does it have to be the exact tonality? Does Do I have to do it in the same cadence? I just want to know what the rules are before we embark on this journey together.

Okay, fair enough, fair enough. But it's "Hee Haw 3, bidet up" is the whole phrase. You got to do the whole phrase. Let's play for Bonetti all of the catchphrases and see how many he thinks he might be able to do.

Number 60, I'm Fuller and Vern Fuller. 59, where's my click click? 58, hey butterfinger. 57, punt. 56, Scranton. 55, I'm visiting a one-armed paper hanger. 54, Georgia, Georgia. 53, I'm the kind of guy that— 52, ball on the jack. 51, hey hey with the Monkees, baby. 50, thank you, Billy. 49, I love him like a pet. 48, who made it a salad? 47, we're rolling now, huh? 46, your brain beating me. 45, let's go States. 44, driver comfort is paramount. 43, dummy up, say bop. 42, catch as catch can. 41, doesn't make it right. 40, so on and so forth. 39, very good. 38, the Little League theory. 37, nice hat, asshole. 36, the others, they all learn from me. 35, don't go showerin' to try to please me. 34, look at that jerk. 33, it's like a packing house in here. 32, what'd you learn? 31, hee haw, 3, ba-dap. 30, I'm not gonna take a quiz. 29, sassafras. 28, would we break a window? 27, hello! 26, who won? 25, trailers for sale or rent? 24, you gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die. 23, 3 words, we are the Lobos.

And now 22, you're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley. And number 21, rappy cac.

Where— go ahead.

So this is why I think the tone matters. Like, if you're going to get me at the Dollar Tree rate, which you seem to be interested in, I think, I think one of the things that we have to agree on is if I nail the tone, that's a double your money sort of red, white, and blue 3-point contest ball situation.

Okay, I'll agree to that. Now, where are we doing this, though? Are we doing it as the play-by-play announcer of Sunday Night Baseball on NBC and Peacock, or are we doing it as the television voice of the Detroit Tigers?

Oh, Dan, you— here's the problem. Once this sort of phrase is installed in my head, I start to see it on the face of every child across the country, so I can't be responsible for when it comes out of my mouth.

Okay, so it can happen at any point. All right, any, any point until Lou Gehrig Day, June 2nd, uh, we, we might have the pleasure of just hearing how many of these do you think you can do? Because what should I be paying for this, guys? We are paying $500 for each boog phrase. But again, boog— I thought boog He's going to bankrupt me by doing 20 of them. He said, I'll do 3 or 4. I fear Bonetti will do all of them and then just check the Greg Cody podcast featuring Greg Cody and get the last 20 we haven't played and start doing those. I fear this man. This man can cost me a lot of money. How many do you think you can do?

So how many were there? They're like 35, something like that.

40.

I can do—

I can do— I can do 100 of them. No. So here's the thing. The one that includes the word asshole is probably a no for me, right? I just have to say.

Right.

But I do have a message. What's that?

I mean, there's no dump button on your network.

There is, there, you know what? There is a dump button. It's called Jason loses one of his two jobs. It's exciting. We like using that one. Some people really like using that one. And I will say, Boog does have a message for you, Dan, that he sent me. It's, I wasn't told that there were rules to this. So I, you know.

I didn't know you did. I didn't know you had a Boog Shambi in your repertoire. I didn't know that.

You know, it's fine, but I thought that we were friends. So here's the thing about Boog and the charity though. I don't know that Boog has told you this. Boog and I are doing a joint, we're doing a joint charity item that's gonna air on his show. It's called Dinner with Us because who wouldn't wanna have dinner with us? Boogin' me, right? The hubris is part of the package. So you're gonna bid on having dinner with us, but you can also put in an extra dollar amount bid to bring a third person along with us. And that dollar amount has to hit the level that that person, whoever that is, that celebrity, if you want Barack Obama to be at dinner with us, you better bid and we'll go try and get him. So there's an extra bid of, 'Can we get this person?' Like, somebody could put in like Dan Levitard and 'Can we get him to dinner with us?' and they'd have to bid what, like $50, $60 million?

Well, you guys are like friends with Eddie Vedder and stuff, so that's a really big prize. Like, that— you guys can actually get somebody giant to be at that dinner. But I'd like to recreate that. Just let's play with this for a second. I'm sitting next to Fake Boog at dinner. Can we go ahead and recreate what that sounds like as you're looking at the menu and the pecan-encrusted tilapia?

Well, can you first ask me where I'm staying, what hotel I'm staying at for the dinner with us?

Where are you staying that weekend? We're having dinner.

I wouldn't worry about it. He literally said that to me. I asked him where he's staying in Arizona on the phone, and he goes, I wouldn't worry about it. I was like, what is this? This is not conversation. So he'd be sitting there with the menu and he'd be like, I'm not eating red meat anymore. And yeah, you know, JD's, JD's the best. I mean, he really is the best. You're like, I was just talking about the mac and cheese. Why did Jim Deshaies come up? No, I wasn't even going to say anything. I was just— he just does that. So there's like the low sort of hum. The— yeah, you know.

No, you got it down. This, this last week, the Giants have had a really tough season and they lost to Arizona on a walk-off. Kruko and Kiper are among the best that there are in announcing, the Giants announcers. And on the walk-off, they gave 12 seconds of silence. 12 seconds of silence where you can just hear how crushed they are. And I think it was Kiper who said, I don't have anything to say. And then they just stopped the broadcast. Can you tell me what kind of bravery that requires? Like, what kind of job security it requires and confidence in your skills to just stay silent and have people checking the television because they think they lost the sound?

Yeah, it's fun too. My favorite version of that, number one, yes, it takes a ton of confidence. Number two, I like when something bad happens and then we are required to say something like, the Curo Auto Insurance postgame show is next, right? Where it sounds like you are unbelievably crushed, just deceased inside. And then you very quickly become a NASCAR driver and you have to say, oh, the 41 Tide car did great today, right? At the very end of a telecast where it feels like homicide was committed on your baseball team.

Something we've been talking about around here that I want to particularly discuss with you because baseball allows you the room to do it and you're legitimately funny all the time in the broadcast. Do you have a a theory for why more sports coverage isn't funny? Why just more sports programming isn't as funny as you are, for example?

Oh, you talk about hubris. What a question. So here's why other people aren't as funny as me. Let me start with that. So it's a good soundbite. No, I, I do think— I do think if you— we just had on our NBC show play-by-play of the first game under the lights at Crosley Field in whatever year, what, 1939, I think, whatever the first night game was. And we had the sound full of the announcer and he was like, welcome to Crosley Field where today, you know, I just think we've gone a long way in baseball broadcasting. Number one, I think I really want to do a game like that where I'm always touching my ear to see if somebody has news from the war. And then you say, you say, brought to you by Woolworths and by Pennysaver, you know, sort of thing. I think that's a better way to call baseball. And then to, I think over 162 games, sometimes you just don't want to be fun or funny. Like you lose 9 to 1 and you're supposed to not talk for 12 seconds. I think it's the safer version of, of doing things.

And I also You know, you're the voice of a team on these regional shows and being the voice of a team, I think, I think people— Andy Dirks and I, the Tigers analyst, and I just had this conversation off the air a couple of days ago. I think people want for some reason in the audience or with the team, like the Tigers had lost 8 in a row. I think people want you to sound like the team. Right. So if they've lost 8 in a row, I— our inclination is to like wear black and go try to like lean into it completely. But the whole like somber because of losing thing just has never matched my sensibility and seems a little bit like the Chuckles the Clown Mary Tyler Moore episode where she goes up and she can't deliver the eulogy and then she starts hacking up a lung laughing. And then they say, oh, great. I like to see you laughing. That's what Chuckles would have wanted. And then she cries. Like, I'm never in the right place for the social norms. So I think that's why this thing plays.

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Don Lebatard. You don't remember the idea for the home run call?

It was probably like, "That kind of thing!" Or something.

Okay, no. The home run call was, "That kind of swing! That kind of thing!" Stugatz!

Oh. It's a good call.

Thank you. And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name.

Correct.

You know, all that jazz. You know, you don't gotta do that. You just— Oh, that would be a great call. That kind of swing! That kind of thing! This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugatz!

How old are you? Put it on the poll at Levittard Show. Do you remember the Chuckles the Clown, Mary Tyler Moore episode? You must, you were younger than this. Mary Tyler Moore is early '70s.

Yeah, so it's, I'm 42, but you know, who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? It's you, Dan, and you should know it. With each glance and every little movement, You show it. Love is all around. No need to waste it. You can have the town. Why don't you take it? You're going to make it after all.

That's how you should talk during an 8-game losing streak. You need to stop respecting the somberness of the fan base and just be yourself at all times. You know good and well that you're as popular as you are, at least in part because people see the fullness of your entire personality. And it doesn't matter whether or not there's a losing streak or not. You're beloved because you're funny. You're good, but you're also funny. It's rare.

Thank you. I try to be, but that also encourages me and I don't think I need the encouragement because then I then like that's where Boog will be like, yeah, you can, you can save the funny for the people who are funny.

I wanted to just chime in and get your thoughts on John Sterling. Rest in peace to him. I thought he was very funny. Lowkey. Is he— was he intentionally funny or unintentionally funny?

I think both. I think that's the joy of Jon Sterling is that he was doing a bit, but it was also him. But he also understood he was doing a bit. And I, every time I talked to him, I left thinking that you could never possibly put all the sliders of personality into the proper place to make another one of him. There's no chance. Like, he walked into our booth with the White Sox one day when I had some friends from college in the back. And he just said hello, kind of did a little lap around the back of the booth and then walked back out. And I was like, I have no idea what the purpose of that was, but he wanted to do it. And he was such a joy to talk to because you felt like you were talking to another era. But his ability to make references to pop culture and to musicals and all this stuff, I think he's actually underrated still. Outside of Yankee fans, because I think he understood the bit. I love John.

How you are an exceptionally professional broadcaster. I want to put in front of you for your judgment and arbitration, two people who are reporters in the industry, one from New York, one from inside the house here. And tell me which of these was done better. First, we go out to New York. Moo!

Look behind me!

See behind me? For the first time since 1999, it's a go New York go! It's pandemonium, it's euphoria, it's nothing but New York joy! Oh, what a time to be in New York City! Moo! Thank you!

And now we compare that to Jeremy Tashae at Heat regular season game number 6. Nope.

You're catching us right now as the Miami Heat have just won Game 2 of the NBA Finals. You can see that this crowd here is hoisting babies into the air. This crowd is ready from the moment this game started, and it has continued here as the Miami Heat have just upset the Denver Nuggets. We've got fans going crazy, we're high-fiving, everybody's ready An unbelievable night right here in Miami.

Who did it better, Bonetti?

I think that's why the phrase coin flip was invented. So what I would say is this.

Coward.

No, no, no, no, no. We're going to go into this. We're diving in here. No, there's no cowardly here. But thank you for the encouragement. It felt like New Year's Rockin' Eve for both of them. I think it's— I think somebody said in both of their ears, hi, Jeremy. Somebody said, Hey, if you could just act like the ball's gonna drop in Times Square for 10 seconds or more. I do have this slight sense that Jeremy said, okay, when I start the phrase, they're hoisting babies, take your small child and do the Simba thing with it, which I think is dangerous. And I also think is unacceptable.

Creating the news instead of following the news, making it happen. There wasn't even a baby born when that segment started.

What accusation is this, Bonetti? This was natural and in the moment.

I sense with the defensiveness that there's a chance you had said, hi, what's your— what's your kid's name? Oh, that's nice. It's Brian. Please throw him when I say hoisting babies.

Yep. There were not babies, plural, hoisted, by the way. It was fraudulent fake news.

No, that was happening next to me. You could have looked all around. There were not plural babies being thrown everywhere, Dan.

Can you—

it was happening everywhere.

It was not.

That's an issue. Somebody should have called Miami Heat HR.

Welcome to Miami.

Yes. Yes. Child Services. Yes. It seems illegal. It should be illegal. And it is dangerous. Also dangerous. Jacob Mizorowski yesterday threw 4 innings. He struck out 9. He had 57 pitches over 100 miles an hour. Did Nolan Ryan ever do anything like that? Was that— is this— has this ever existed in a human arm before?

I—

you know, there's this whole discussion over whether the radar guns are the same as they used to be and the apocryphal stories that come out of previous eras when we can't just check it with one click. But I love that Jacob Mizerowski says after the game, that's what I do. I throw hard. Like, give me that. Give me more of that in baseball. You create more characters that way. But I, I would say about Nolan Ryan, the story that seems most fearsome that I've heard in baseball about somebody just being on the mound, other than maybe Bob Gibson, like, if you, if you look at him wrong, he's going to hit you. But the Nolan Ryan discussion, when he was pitching in the shadows at Angel Stadium and people truly feared for their lives in the batter's box when the ball went from dark to light to dark into the box, that, that makes me think that even if he didn't throw 103, 57 times, he was just as dangerous.

Can you guys get for me, please, a Marlin to talk about facing this human being or get— see if you can get Stowers on to see— to talk about being hit in the hand.

You mean from the hottest team in baseball? Sure.

We'll try. Yeah. See if you can get me a marlin. I just want to— I want to find out if I sleep correctly the night before facing this guy. What are you laughing about?

I'm laughing about you sounding like the king with the oddest eating habits ever. Get me a marlin. Somebody get me a marlin. I need a marlin and I need it braised and I need it in lemon sauce. Get me a marlin.

Jason, bigger freak right now, Wemba Nyama or Ohtani?

Oh, man. That is such a good question. The Ohtani thing, because he's been around for so long, I think he just becomes sort of the buzz in the background. I think he becomes the paperwork a little bit that you just rubber stamp. But he's got an ERA under 1 right now, right? And then he goes like— there are times where he gives himself the lead. He did it over the weekend.

I—

the Ohtani thing. His plus minus, especially with what Craig Counsell said about the rule situation, right? You can only have an Ohtani if you have an Ohtani, right? So what he does for your team is one thing. What he does for your roster construction is another. The Dodgers basically get an extra person twice, once because he's that good at both things and then twice because of the roster exemption. I think it's Ohtani just for that reason. But I get the argument that Wemby won't be anything but Defensive Player of the Year for as long as he plays.

If you don't know what he's talking about, Council wasn't complaining, but he was saying it's bizarre that all the other teams in the big leagues carry 13 pitchers, but the Dodgers get to carry 13 and a Cy Young guy. Is he going to win the Cy Young? Like, do you believe that before he's done, Ohtani is going to win the Cy Young Award?

Yeah, I do. I think so for sure. I think with how driven he was as a kid to get to all these milestones that he listed out when he was like an early teenager, I wouldn't put anything past him ever. He's one of, I would say, like 10 people on the planet that you can say that about, that if he puts it down on paper and says, I'm going to do it just by sheer force of will, he's going to do it. I think he's such a joy to watch.

And that's asinine. What you're saying is asinine, that somebody decided as a teenager that he was going to be by leaps and bounds the best baseball player ever and then just did it by sheer force of will.

That's right. It's totally asinine. And he's also one of the most fun people to watch on a baseball diamond with the face— facial expressions. You know, I know he's not like the most verbose guy, but you watch him take in a game of baseball. I think he's a top 5 most entertaining person, just personality-wise, too. Just watching the facial expressions. He's— he's a cyborg without a cyborg's personality. And I love that.

Bonetti, it's always good talking to you. Thank you for making the time, sir.

Thank you. It's been a pleasure. And hopefully, hopefully when I get all those in, you can just take an entire truck of money and back it up to Boog's house.

We will negotiate this offline and I will tell people before your next broadcast. Are you going to start doing this today? Are you going to start doing this today?

I need— you know what the one thing that I was going to say as we were doing it is I need actually a couple of them. I don't know what they— what were said or do I have to guess?

No, you can ask. Well, we'll play it for you right now again. And you write down with one of your hotel pens, if you do not mind. You go ahead and just write it offline. No, we'll do it right now. You can just write down for us whatever it is that you think needs some explanation here.

I'm fuller than Vern Fuller.

What's— Yeah, like, I don't know. As we're going through it, can I just raise my hand or say, like, I don't know what that is?

All right. We'll do it offline. See you later, Bonetti. Good talking to you.

Good talk, see you later, love you, bye.

Love you too.

Don Lebatard.

I ain't never met nobody in the world that's gonna hate on Blue's Clues.

Great nomination.

Like, who don't like Blue's Clues, bruh? If you don't like Blue's Clues, you're a loser.

Stugatz.

Look, you get one paw print, that's the first clue. You put it in a notebook. Now what do you do?

Woo!

Blue's Clues, Blue's Clues.

Sit on the chair and think about it.

This is the Don Lebatard Show with Stugatz.

Can you guys get for me, please, uh, the Colin Cowherd sound? I know that you guys talked about this on Friday, but the Sports Emmys are tonight, and Pablo is going with his crew, his entourage, his posse. He just— what, what Pablo is doing right now is just wandering around the earth going to award shows where he is celebrated and then gets to make a speech. I'm assuming that he's going to be nominated in several different categories. Most of what's winning everywhere is all of the Kawhi Leonard reporting that he's done, but I don't even know if that's what he's proudest of on that show. There are any number of things that are going to be and have been up for awards, and I really was stunned to hear Colin Cowherd start— start during the NBA playoffs and NHL playoffs— start his show with This Pablo Torre is a smart guy.

I think he went to Harvard, and, uh, he just won a Pulitzer Prize for journalism. So much respect to him. I think he's very, very talented guy. Don't know him personally, but think he's super talented. He's been doing a story on the LA Clippers and some shenanigans there, certainly worthwhile. Earlier this week, Pablo devoted a full episode, his latest investigative work, on the OZ phenomenon. Debunking Oz Pearlman's tricks. Is he a fraud? No, he's a magician. A mentalist is a magician without the props. Both get invited to birthday parties. We've gone from investigative journalism to debunking the Easter Bunny.

I heard that you guys sided with Cowherd where Colin was right.

I mean, he's true. Like, he's right on the nose right there. Like, yeah, Yes. What were we supposed to believe? Ose was Professor X, that he was some higher form of human intelligence. No, he was— he obviously had an angle. He didn't need to ruin it for magicians.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Pablo is nominated for Outstanding Edited Sports Series, which is for all of Pablo Torre Finds Out. He's also nominated twice out of the 4 nominees for Outstanding Sports Journalism for The Aspiration Story and for What Is Riley Gaines Hiding?

Was for doing debunking the Easter Bunny.

Put up the picture you guys were just showing me of Colin Cowherd with the dyed hair real quick. That was extraordinarily lazy from Colin Cowherd and his dozens of writers to not even listen to the episode and come away with that takeaway, but it doesn't make him wrong.

Are we setting Pablo up here for an investigation on the promo look for Colin Cowherd when he debuted his FS1 show? Something might have been going on there.

Just trying to get the younger demo with the orange hair. He was ahead of the curve on orange hair. That didn't become popular with presidential candidates until later.

I gotta give it to him, it's a balls move. Like, you show up and all of a sudden your hair is a completely different color. I got another guts to do that.

I don't think that's balls move. I honestly think it's a dumb move and like a spineless move. It— the balls move is, yo, I'm gray, what up?

Of it. My mother used to get very mad at my dad because I've told you this, his eyebrows and his hair would go completely gray and then he'd show up as the boss of a fiberglass plant that he was running the following day with everything chapapote black, like just totally black from one day to the other in a way that was asinine.

I don't think it's just the guts that you're missing.

The idea that you're going to criticize the Pulitzer winner and not know how to pronounce Pulitzer is pretty good.

But you don't know how to pronounce Thibodeau. Do you do that on purpose?

Thibodeau.

I thought it was Thibodeau.

Yeah, it's Thibs.

It gets shortened to Thibs, but it's Thibodeau. The H isn't silent. It's not silent.

I think it is silent.

I think it is.

From all those series that we had against Thibodeau.

I think it's Thibs.

I think it's Thibodeau. And I think the nickname, for whatever reason, because it's easier to say probably, is Thibs.

Nobody ever calls him Tom Thibodeau.

Put it on the poll at @LebatardShow. Is it Thibodeau or Thibodeau, because I don't think the H is silent there, and I don't think it should be. Is the H usually silent in— like, if I'm putting it— where else is the H as the second letter silent after a T?

Is that—

am I doing that incorrectly?

Thompson.

Oh, that's good.

Thompson.

Sure it's not Thompson?

Keep your head on the ball here. Why is Pablo doing this? Who was asking for this? And also, So isn't it funny that Oz was no match for Will Compton's genuine stupidity in that moment? Like, the whole thing was undone by Will Compton not knowing how to spell.

Do you guys not like to know how the magic is performed? Do you guys not like, uh, that in general? Obviously we don't think any of that stuff is magic, and we end up getting disappointed whenever it is that the magic trick is explained to us, and we're like, "Oh, that was easier to do than I thought it was." You don't want it explained to you?

No, I want to know. That magic makes me angry. I don't like it. I feel it comes off as voodoo to me. I like— I have to know what's happening. That's why I like Penn Teller, because Penn Teller explain the trick.

Right. And this is why Oz the Mentalist has forsaken the magic community. But he did correctly get Joe Rogan's PIN number based on what it is, the little information he had from Joe Rogan. And I am generally curious how it is he's able to read body language that way. Jeremy, have you looked up for us a final ruling? Is Trista guilty of the Zazz crime of making corrections that aren't correct, or did she get it right?

According to Nick Friedel, not Friedel, there is a note from 2010 in an article where he joined the Bulls. The H is not silent. It is Thibodeau.

But I think actually Tibs is wrong because in French the H is never pronounced because the French language does not utilize the breathy English H sound. Yes, in names like Thibodeau, the letters T-H are simply pronounced like a standard hard T.

Minor penalty, 2 minutes, delay of show.

Wow.

No, that's BS!

He gave you reporting, you went to the internet. He gave you a credible reporter saying that I was right, and before he got through it, you're like, "No, no, no, I'm still right. I'm stubborn as well as wrong." Is Fridell, like, the source? What?

Minor penalty, 2 minutes, delay of show.

Wow.

Joe Thomas. Do we have any other sources? You've got— are we going to get stuck on this? Because Jeremy's reporting this, it's 15-year-old information, uh, but I did think it was fibs. Uh, I— it did get changed to tibs, but I always thought it should be fibs because I've always pronounced it fibida.

Look, it's not French. It's Thibodeau. It's not "Tee-bah-doo." Well, he might—

maybe his— I don't know if he's got any links to France in his past or in his ancestry. You know he doesn't? You know? You're convinced that he doesn't?

I can look at someone and tell if they're French or not.

Okay. Yeah.

All right.

He actually does look kind of French. If a French accent came from that body, it would not surprise you.

Also looks like the 67th henchman to be killed in Take That's not French. That was an indiscriminate— oh, it was from Trebojka. I'm sorry, it wasn't an indiscriminate place.

Basketballreference.com has the pronunciation in capital letters: T-H-I-B dash, in lowercase, U-H dash D-O-H. Thib-uh-doh.

Congratulations, Trista, you will fit right in here being the stubborn one who thinks she's right even after proven wrong. Like that That is baseline everyone who works here.

She does have a point though, because look, fibs can be called whatever he wants to be called. That's how that goes. But it is of French origin and you do this all the time with th names and you don't think anything of it. He could be mispronouncing it. Like, I don't care what Pat Sertan tells me, it's Sertan.

It's Tony Dorsett, not Tony Dorsett.

That's correct. That one you got right. Thibodeau, you got wrong. Uh, something else I think, Zaslo, that a lot of people are going to get wrong when they do their analysis at the end of these careers. What is going to happen when Shea Gildas-Alexander has some better numbers career-wise than people that you think are better than him because you watch them play, whoever those people might be? But Shea Gildas-Alexander is going to have, by the end of his time in basketball numbers better than some of the greatest you've ever seen?

All right, oh, I'm sorry, cut that question up, please. I need it all. Put it in the club, do whatever we need to do. I need that, the entirety of that question.

I think we're already accustomed to this era of basketball being different than the past ones in terms of numbers. Like, I don't think we're looking at these numbers anymore like, oh my God, they're so much bigger, so this player must be better than that guy. Like, I think we've been doing this for a little bit, but the thing that is odd to me, or at least is striking me as odd during this series with Shaquille O'Neal, Alexander, is when's the last time the league MVP, let alone back-to-back league MVP on the Champions, by the way, where you're watching the game and without question the MVP is not the best player on the floor? Like, I can't remember that being the case. And every game this series I'm watching He is not even close to the best player.

How are we going— you think we're going to do this correctly when all the numbers are in? And you think that most people are going to say, let's make it the example of, I don't know, Michael Jordan's Bulls. The best Bulls teams averaged what, like 105 points a game, 106 points a game? Like, the— there has been an offensive distortion based on the entire sport figuring out, oh look, this shot over here is worth more than the other shot, and therefore our teams, uh, I don't even think actually of OKC as overwhelming offensively, even though my guess is they're probably double digits better than Michael Jordan's Bulls teams on how many points they average per game, just because of the offensive explosion in the league. You think people are going to be able to do that in terms of context when, when the numbers end up making it hard to prove that, that Kobe Bryant was a better player than Shea Gildress-Alexander, even though Shea Gildress-Alexander is, uh, somebody who's more efficient than Kobe Bryant?

Yeah, I think we're so accustomed now with the 3-point shot that the numbers are just so distorted. Um, I, I could tell you if just real quick, I'm thinking as well as far as the MVP not being the best player in the series, we, we did that down here right back in 2011 where where LeBron was so clearly the best player and so much better than Derrick Rose. But maybe the caveat to that was we all also kind of knew that LeBron should have won the MVP. I don't feel like people are saying Wenbanyama should— like, everyone was good with Sheik Yodas-Alexander winning the MVP, and when Derrick Rose won it that year, it's like, all right, this is the not-LeBron-this-year award.

Also Shaq and Steve Nash that one year, because it was like, ugh.

But they didn't play each other in the playoffs.

Okay, okay. You know?

Yeah, for sure. I just feel like I'm watching I'm like, the MVP is not the best guy.

The Nash one is interesting because— and I don't think an MVP very often has scored 15 points a game, although maybe Bill Russell was somebody who, uh, was able to do that because his defense was so good. But Steve Nash was averaging 15 points a game and shouldn't have won that second MVP over, uh, Shaquille O'Neal. But what you're saying is an interesting conversation starter because, uh, there is something that I can't quite put my finger on that makes me want to discount Shea Gildress-Alexander. And it's not just esthetic and it's not just the free throw merchant stuff. I just don't think that he's as good as some of the all-time greats I saw play. And I think the numbers distortion offensively is going to make it so that I have a hard time making that argument 15 years from now. If Shea Gildress-Alexander is already at 2 MVPs, you know, at 27 years old, old.

Also, he's the first, uh, 2-time MVP to also win an Oscar Award courtside over the weekend because of his flopping. So you see that he's got medals stacking up.

That's creative, right? He had a fan, a woman was sitting right there front row, she brought a little mini Oscar with her, and every time he fell to the ground, shake yo socks down, she held it up.

I, uh, I think I have something close to consensus on this, on something that's hard to place. You guys with me on inside the NBA not quite feeling the same even though every Everything is the same except for a couple of things. Like, it's mostly the same and somehow it doesn't quite feel the same, and I'm confused by it. As I'm watching, I'm like, this is weird that I feel this way.

I think part of it used to be we're all watching Inside the NBA because we all love it and we've all loved it for all these years. But now there are a couple other studio shows we're also watching.

I know what it is. You're not waking up to Charmed in the morning.