Transcript of Hour 2: Roncula Returns (feat. Ron Magill)

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

All right, so Ron McGill, of course, joins us here. Hey, Ron, how are you doing? First of all, are you doing all right?

I'm doing great.

How are you? Doing good. All right, help me out here. On my flight this weekend, for college football, I fly around with ESPN radio, and there was a service dog that was sitting in my row on the flight. I got no problem with the dogs flying. I I like dogs. And the dog was farting, though, throughout the flight, which once I found out that it was the dog that was farting because the owner was super apologetic. But once I found out it was the dog and not a human farting, I was okay with it. The smell didn't bother me as much. But my question is, is that common for a dog? Was the dog nervous, and that's why he was farting on the flight?

It could have been. How are you 100 % sure it was the dog?

That's what we said, Ron. It sounds like it's the owner.

That's I'm a great cop out when the owner is going, Oh, jeez, I got to let one go here. But I blame it on the dog. That's why I bring the dog with me, because I'm a gas-producing machine, but I can always blame it on the dog.

There you go. I've done that.

Because I fly a lot, I see these service dogs all the time. But I feel like, Ron, When someone's on the flight with a shitsu that's wearing the service dog vest, that's not a service dog, right? Isn't it only certain breeds are service dogs?

Yes and no. I mean, the bottom line is a service dog can be designated as an animal that is necessary to maintain the patient or whatever you're the owner's state of mind. It's a psychological necessity. Now, having said that, I think there are a lot of people that abuse that opportunity. I know for a fact that there are some of these psychologists, write them a check, they'll write you a note. They do that for a couple of reasons. First of all, they don't want to put their dog in the belly of the plane. I can understand that. Second of all, they don't want to pay that extra money to put the dog in the belly of the plane. That becomes an issue, and I think that's going to come to a head sometime in the future. Again, these service dogs in the right situation are very important. They play a very important role. But then you've got those people who are abusers and just will say anything just to get the fake patch you can get on the internet and say, Is my service dog? Now, fortunately, airlines are starting to require letters from doctors, psychologists, and such.

But then on the flip side, you got some of these doctors and psychologists to say, Oh, yeah, you look nervous. Okay, here's a dog.

Ron, I want to stick with dog for just a second. I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time. My dog, Jumping Charlie, goes in the backyard to do his business. Okay, it's a male dog because I know that name can be either. Half the time, he lifts his leg to pee, like most male dogs do, and about half the time, he squats on all fours and pees like most female dogs do. Is that unusual that a dog might pee both ways?

No, it's not unusual, especially if the dog is specifically trying to... Remember, they use their urine as a marker, as a territorial marker. If he wants to hit something that's directly below him on the ground, there's no need for him to lift his leg. That's what he's going to do. If he's trying to get a fence post or he's trying to get along a fence line or a tree or a trunk or something like that, he'll lift his leg.

For aiming purposes.

It's an aiming It's an aim and purpose. It's an aim and purpose that a lot of the dogs do it for.

And in the wild, do males tend to lift their legs and females not? Like pet dogs, or is that different in the wild with lions or other? It's the same.

You You look at painted dogs, you look at wolves. The males, again, most females, when they urinate, unless they're in cycle, they urinate a great volume all at once, and they're done. Males will usually urinate in squirts and small spurts because they're trying to mark their territory. They got to make sure they've always got a calling card in the huts, so to speak.

Ron, I have two male dogs. Neither of them pee with their leg up. That's weird, right?

Not necessarily. I had a dog that did the same thing. We used to make fun of them that way. Whatever.

Wow. I thought it was weird.

I guess it's not. I think it's weird.

Ron, do cats fart?

All animals, mammals will pass gaps.

I don't see cats fart a lot.

Greg actually told us, Ron, that he stopped farting.

Gave it up.

I did give it up.

That and cigars.

Right. I don't like to brag. Believe me, stopping farting is nothing to brag about.

Trust me. Your stomach must be in shambles. Because if you hold a fart in, doesn't that hurt your stomach?

You're never like, damn, I wish I didn't give up farting. I could really use one right now.

No, I miss cigars more than I miss farting. Wow.

I don't know how you give that up. I found as a younger guy, I never really had the urge to do that. But as I've gotten older, yes, it's one of those things that every now and then you got to let one go.

Small pleasures, right?

It's tough. You got to work on it, man. You got to work on it.

I don't know. I think that's keeping some nauseous gasses in your system that's going to make you either burp something nasty or it's going to come out somewhere, brother, and I I don't want to.

Is that why you say Brad when you burp? You know what?

It could be. I never thought of that.

That's the thing, Zaz.

That's a good point.

Ron, in the rainy season now in Miami, where it's raining every single day, critters make their way into our houses. Is that a fair thing to say?

Absolutely. It calls all the time, especially things like these little ring neck snakes. A small snake that's common throughout South Florida. I've got people call me.

I thought it was a worry, but it's a sea.

Ring necks are notorious for that because they're normally subterráne. They'll go under the ground quite a bit. They're feeding on things like worms and insects. But when they get flooded out, everything is looking for higher land. And those guys can make their way under door stops and things like that. That's why they end up in people's houses. So my issue is this.

In this house that I'm renting, there's been a lot of cockroaches that started finding their way into my house. And the last two weeks, we've killed a very high amount of cockroaches, right? What I thought of, and I wanted to ask you the question, if I were to place cockroach carcasses throughout specific areas of the house, why would that not let other cockroaches know, Hey, wait a second, we're not welcome here.

Why do you have a hard time saying cockroach?

Because it's...

I don't know..

Thank you. Just say roaches. There you go. Cugarachas. Why does that not work?

Because they're not that necessarily intelligent of a being to make that synopsis. They might look at it like, Okay, that's all right. There's more food for me now.

That's what I want you to... What do you imagine a cockroach thinks when he sees a dead cockroach?

He's like, Oh, wow.

I don't think cockroaches think that much. I think that's where we have the-He's like, Oh, he's taking a nap.

That's an odd spot for a nap.

You might be making fun of this tactic, but that tactic actually works for other things like vultures. They use vultures, a dead vulture, as an effigy. They'll hang a dead vulture in a place where vultures will come and cause all kinds of problems, and the vultures stay away. When they see the dead vulture, they're going, now.

So they know.

They know. Yeah. Animals like a vulture will pick that up. That is a common practice. When vultures create a problem in any given area, they'll hang an effigy. Now, you have to get a permit to do it, but you can get the permit and hang the dead vulture, and you'd be surprised how it keeps the other vultures away.

Who do you call to do that? Hey, I'm looking for a dead vulture permit.

Fish and Wildlife and United States Department of Agriculture. Okay.

Wow. Ron, I think we've talked about this before, but I just want to double-check. Pepper does not negatively impact birds, correct?

It depends on the bird.

Oh, no. What birds are negatively impacted by pepper? Because I was reading, I've told you before that I have a little bird feater, and what ended up happening is that a rat got attracted to the bird food and came and started eating the bird food in the bird feater. Then we had to explain to my daughters, That's not a bird in your bird feeder. That's a rat. We don't want that there. Then I googled and it said, Just put some pepper, and the rats will not like the smell or taste of the pepper, and they won't go there anymore, but it doesn't affect the birds, so the birds will continue to eat there. But now you're making me second guess. I'm not sure.

I think there might be some pulmonary issues with some birds and pepper. I'm not sure. I don't want to say it because I'm not sure.

Okay. So I'm just going to keep business as usual and trust Google AI on this one.

I wouldn't trust Google and everything, guys. That's a big mistake that I think we make, is we trust everything we see on the Internet.

Ron, I want you to walk us through what I'm looking at here. Now, I believe this is a crab riding a jellyfish. If you could do a little play by play for us here. How common is this?

That's the first time I've ever seen that. Pretty cool. I got to tell you something, guys. The way AI is today-This could be fake? Yeah, I don't know what to believe anymore because it's so good.

It's so good. Louis just said in my ear, this is not AI.

Well, Louis said it.

Okay. I've never seen that before, so it's obviously very unique. It's a pretty cool shot.

Ron, I have a pitch for you based on that video that we just saw and your reluctance to trust the Internet. What if we go into business, all of us here, everyone in this room, no one else is allowed in, just all of us together, and we open the first AI zoo, and you could literally have anything that you want in the AI zoo? Any animal, any hybrid, anything you want. They can do whatever you want. You in?

Yeah, I'll have some fun with that.

All right. What if we have some ligers? They're AI ligers. So I know that you don't like ligers in general, but if they're fake ligers, do you like that? They're fake ligers.

Let's put Tasmanian tigers in there, too. Let's put some extinct animals in there. We can have some fun with this.

Ron, what's the difference between jellyfish and maniwar?

They're all the same. It's the same type of... It's an invertebrate Whatever. I'm not this marine expert, but they're all in the same grouping of animals. Jellyfish and maniwar. Maniwar is a type of jellyfish.

Ron, have you discussed kwame passing away? I have not. That obviously interests us because we You guys have collaborated on The Pride of a Lion, and Kwame. Absolutely. Kwame was mentioned in that book, and he just passed away. Did you use death to plug your book? That was Zu Miami's last lion, and I know that hit you pretty hard. When are you going to get another lion because I assume you want one badly.

Oh, yeah. No, they're bringing in. Supposedly, they've got two males lined up, and it's just a matter of when they can get them here. We have to go by the recommendation of what's called the SSP. It's called the Species Survival Plan, which is a computer dating service, so to speak, managed by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums. You have a stud bookkeeper who looks and sees, Okay, what animals can go where? They tell us, and I think they've pretty much designated two young males, to come this way. I'm hoping they're going to be here within the next one to two months. That's Kwame right there. That's a photograph I took of Kwame.

That's a beautiful lion. And he passed away naturally, right? He was 18, right?

He was 18. Well, actually, he passed away the day before his 18th birthday.

Oh, wow. What lion And what lions, lionesses, do you currently have? And what would... Oh, there's no lions, period. No lions. There's no lions. Apologies. I thought maybe you had a couple and you had to figure out how to...

No, the hope is once we bring those two males in here, they'll also designate some females to bring in. Hopefully, we can get another pride established.

Hell, yeah.

Ron got another video here for you. So this is going to be... There's an elk, and it's doing its thing in the forest. Here, let's check it out.

That's a deer. It's not an elk, but that's okay. Either way.

You're on a roll today, he says.

Oh, that's an alarm call.

That's an alarm call. He seems to be doing a triple-H, blowing water out of his nose.

No, that's just a breath. It's a very cold morning.

Is it coming out of his ears?

No, it's coming out of his nostrils. Coming out of his nostrils. He's alarm-calling. You see, as he's breathing, that's just it. When he blows out that hot air, you get that beautiful visual, that smoke coming out of his nose. That's scary.

That was intimidation.

That's intimidation. Again, it's an alarm call. Usually, they accompany that with it. They'll stomp their feet, too. They'll They'll hit their ground with their feet. Sometimes they even bark. They may go, They bark when they do that, too.

Now, this last video will just get Ron mad, which we like to do around here. Here's some guy seemingly feeding an alligator, being really reckless, is something I assume we do not want to do.

Oh, yeah. Here we go. It's against the law, first of all. It's not something we don't want to do. It's something that's against the law, because what you're doing is that alligator now is associating people with food, and somebody's going to come there one day and not have a piece of bread or whatever crap that guy's throwing in the alligator's mouth, and the alligator is going to bite the person thinking, Oh, I thought it was bread. I'm not thinking I was going to eat the person or anything, but he's been conditioned now to come up to people this way. This guy is an idiot.

That's so ridiculous.

I hope he falls in.

Ron.

All right, so you don't like it?

You got that idea?

It makes you mad, Ron. It's not because the food or anything is bad for the alligator. It's because it's a danger to people.

Exactly. It makes me mad because one day that alligator may have a conflict with a person who's not the idiot leaning over the boat, feeding it something, bite the person. And what happens? Fish and Whileive has got to go round up this alligator and kill it because it did something that was basically trained by another idiot.

I mean, in fairness, we did take the alligator's I understand.

You know, Billy, sometimes, just sometimes.

I love the look.

I love the look, Billy.

That's a good look. Were the Alliators not there first? I mean, we did.

Hi.

Hi. Ron, it's almost Roncula season, huh?

Roncula is coming, guys. Let me tell you, that's a party. That is a party, dude.

I thought you retired him.

I did retire him, but they gave me an offer I can't refuse. I'm bringing him back. And that party, for no other reason, guys, that party is decadence exponential, okay? You guys, let me tell you something. It's 21 and older. And people get freaky when they go in the costume. They think they could be someone else. And sometimes you see the in a real person.

I'm telling you, we had a guy come one year wrapped in saran wrap. That was it. Just wrapped in saran wrap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got the women who come who just sometimes think that it's a wild time at the zoo. I like the party. The party is... And since I don't drink, it's some of the best people watching on the planet. Ron, great job as always. Appreciate you. All right, guys. Have a great week. This episode is supported by FX's The Lowdown, starring Ethan Hawk. Allow us to introduce you to Lee Raybon, a quirky journalist/ rare bookstore owner, unofficial truth seeker who's always on the tail of his latest conspiracy. This time, his most recent exposé puts him head to head with a powerful family that rules Tulsa. Meaning only one thing, he must be onto something big. Fx is the Lowdown, premiered September 23rd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

Thursday night, football is on, and it's only on Prime Video. This week, an AFC rivalry ignites as the Miami Dolphins battle the Buffalo Bills in a heated division showdown in the Empire State. Coverage begins at 07: 00 PM Eastern with football's best party. Tnf Tonight, presented by Verizon. Not a prime member? Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30-day free trial. It's the Dolphins and the Bills. Thursday at 07: 00 PM Eastern, only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See amazon. Com/amazonprime for details.

Don Levatard.

The elephant went into a 711 and bought a pack of cigarettes. But my question to Ron is this.

Stugatz. That joke didn't really land the way you wanted it to, did it? How We all just stared at you.

We ran it all.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. Don't let the grind, drain you. Ditch the glitch with zero sugar and zero crash from Liquid IV. Tear, pour, live more. Go to liquidiv. Com and get 20% off your order with code dan at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code dan at checkout. Liquidiv. Com is where you get it. It's the energy that changes things. You need energy throughout your day, and this stuff hits really well. Elfianine, Caffeine, like Chris Coty likes to say, zero sugar, three times the electrolytes of leading sports drinks, plus five essential vitamins in two refreshing flavors. Strawberry kiwi made my mouth water. It was so good. I can hear it. Yeah. Blackberry lemonade. Delicious. I keep a few of the package wherever I go. Gym, work in the car just in case. Keep hydrated. Live. Hydrated. That's the most important thing, being hydrated, Dan.

Sean McVay said earlier, and we were making fun of it. He segued seamlessly from that guy has a broken clavicle to what a stop on third down. I felt like Greg Cody honored him by saying, Hey, Ron, you're lying. One of the favorites. Eighteen-year relationship When's the next one? Are you getting another one? You didn't ask him a single thing about his feelings about the star of pride of a Lion dying. You just went to, When and how are you going to replace him?

You wanted to plug the book.

Well, a minor correction. The Pride of a Lion is about the son of a lion named Quasi. They have similar names. Quasi is what the Pride of a Lion is about. Quami was the father, and it was the last animal at the zoo. He was 18 years old, so they euthanized him because he was suffering, and they expected the loss.

Again, though, I think his feelings about a relationship with an animal at the zoo that he's had for 20 years, you could have asked him about his feelings before just saying, When's the next one? How are we replacing him? You didn't ask him a single feeling that he had.

Yeah, no, I didn't. I wrote the book on that, so I didn't feel the need to ask him. But I will say this, Zoo Miami is about to get two new young male lions, so that's exciting. Because it means they're going to bring in a female. They're going to start a whole new pride. They're going to be damn right. They are. It's going to be fun.

She's aggressive.

I mean, we also are assuming Greg didn't reach out when he heard the news, private leader Ron. That's correct. They didn't have maybe a sit down where they talked about this because the zoo now has lost two lions in the past couple of months, which is why presently there are no lions there. In fact, when you walk by where the lions were, it's very sad. They took down the sign that says, Here's where the lions are, and all that stuff. It just says, No one's here right now, and You could tell a little overrun by grass. It's a sad situation.

You ain't lying. Hell, yeah. But Ron and I may have had an emotional sit down, or I may have texted him real quickly.

Tony, that is a very embarrassing stain that you walked in here with today. What happened?

Look, I mean- Why did you stain? I got a stain right here. You see it?

Oh, in the crotch region?

Yeah, so here's the issue. Sometimes when you're washing and close, and you put stuff together and you're using the detergent, sometimes like detergent stain stuff, which I don't understand why that happens. If I'm putting it in there so you can clean other stains, why do you appear with another stain after it's clean? So late night, early morning with the baby. Baby woke up at one o'clock in the morning, then screaming her face off. She's got four teeth popping out at the same time. So your baby babied. Yeah. Baby babied, but she usually babies at 8: 00 or 9: 00. When you're gone. At 5: 00 in the morning. That's when she babies. Problem is when baby at 1: 30 in the morning. Bobby's got to pick her up. Bobby's got to take her to the nursery. Bobby's got to rock her. 2: 40, all of a sudden, she finally falls asleep. I bring her back down. I got to sleep for a couple more hours. So when I wake up tired, I just go to my drawer. I pick up the first couple of things. This shirt, these shorts, or these joggers. And I get on the train not thinking about a thing, and I see people give me a couple of weird looks, and I'm like, Okay, maybe the shirt, they don't like the shirt.

Okay. It's sponsored by the haters. Maybe they are haters. Maybe they're haters, right. Exactly. I'm like, Okay, thank you for sponsoring me. So I sit down I looked at my crotch because obviously I'm sitting down in the seat.

Let me see that thing.

This happened from you washing?

Yeah, the detergent.

Why do you wash your pants with semen? Let me get a look at this.

It creates the implication, Dan, that there was a massive situation- A bad look, as Greg Cody likes to say. Prior to me getting onto the terrain with a lot of people. Do you see it, Chris?

Well, that brings us seamlessly to top five embarrassing things to do in public, which I'm sure that Tony would have at any point.

This actually isn't on the list, funny enough.

Well, it's an O-L-I.

It looks like something that would happen at the Ronkula party.

Chauncey swallows, you know what I mean?

I thought he was going to retire that, Dan. Did you have intel that he was unretiring Ronkula? I didn't know.

That was broken news on this show. I was not aware. I was not aware that Ronkula was making the lecherous Dracula character that Ron brings out every Halloween. I was not aware that that was being unretired.

I've got it every other week.

What do you have there for top five? Is it OLAI or just straight top Yeah, there's two Olis. All right, these are top five. Embarrassing things to- Embarrassing things to happen in public with other people watching you. All right, Oli.

Oli, getting umbrella flipped on you in the middle of the rain. You know when there's wind and the umbrella gets flipped up and you're like, whoa.

You look so stupid.

You're like, come on, I'm getting wet here.

Like a stupid idiot. People are driving by in their car, you're in the rain, and they're laughing at you because the umbrella flipped up.

Correct, yes.

Stupid. Dan, I feel like this one may hit home a little bit. Oli Number two, asking your barber to trim your eyebrows.

Whoa, why would that hit home for me?

I'm just saying, an eyebrow guy. I also have thicker eyebrows, and it's like you're at the barber shop and it's like, Hey, you did my hair great. Everything's looking good. By the way, can you trim my eyebrows?

It's like, Oh, God. You got to whisper it out of the side of your mouth.

People turn around like, what?

What are you saying? You got an out-of-control eyebrow problem.

The dude's waiting for the chair. They're like, Well, get out of here.

I'm going to trim his what? Number five.

Number five. Being thrown in a public A transportation vehicle on a bus or a train, when you're standing there and they break suddenly, then you get flung. You can't get the respect of other people on the train like that.

I make sure whenever I'm in the Atlanta airport because they got the people moving there, I I got to make sure I'm positioned. Planted. I'm ready for it. I start doing the math.

I'm like, Which way are we going?

I got good leverage.

Which way am I going to fall?

You got to go a good base on that. Some people have too narrow of a base. I got to get thrown.

Everybody knows that about me. I got a good base.

Got to have a wide base.

Exactly right. So getting thrown by a public transport vehicle with other people watching, very embarrassing. Are we on number 4 or 5?

That was number 5. Number 4. It's your list. Why would I know what we're on instead of you?

Because you keep track of those things. I like that. All right, number 4. Running towards a closing door, train elevator, door of any kind. They're like, Wait, wait. Hold on. And the door closed and you're like, Oh. And the people behind you are like, I didn't run. Why did you run? It's weird.

I never feel like a better person than when someone's coming for the elevator, I got you, and I put my hand in front.

I don't ever do that.

I see you, and I stop the door for you.

I don't ever do that. I actually go toward the buttons where they can't see me, and I press the door closed. Oh, no.

Don't get me wrong.

I don't want more people in the... I want to be by myself. No, I'm with him. I press the door closed.

The ultimate is walking in and not making eye contact with anyone. But if you make eye contact, I will do you.

No, they can't see me. I press door close.

How about the fake arm where you don't get it just far enough because you're a little too far? I've tried that.

I've done that.

I'm not trying to impress anybody. I'm trying to have I'm going to get in that elevator myself.

But Zaz, you're a rising star in sports media. That's right.

I'm trying to rise in that elevator alone.

I am with Zaz, though. If you do get in that elevator alone, you hit closed door right away.

Oh, yeah, that's for sure.

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. As the door closes on the elevator, do you put a hand out to help the person who's approaching? Do you pretend to put a hand out with the intention of allowing the elevator to close, or do you just let the door close? My elevator. It's a great question.

Do we have any runners here to of elevators or any other kind?

Number three. I have had the elevator in my building has been down for six weeks. I have to go eight floors every time I walk the dog. I am getting worn out. Expensive billing, too. My knees hurt so much.

That's all right. That's what I want, the HOA money there.

Yeah, seriously. Number two, greeting someone who's greeting someone behind you, not you.

I think you skipped number three. I don't know who's keeping track of you or me, but I think you skipped number three.

Okay, you're keeping track. Number three. All right, number three, greeting somebody who's greeting you, but they're greeting somebody behind you. That's the worst. Number two. That was two and three. Number two, tripping on stairs. In public, embarrassing.

I know.

You're going up the stairs.

Then you always look behind you like, What tripped me.

It wasn't my fault. Number two, screwing up your own top five list.

Number one, tying your shoes in public, embarrassing. I didn't tie my shoes right the first time. I got to tie them again now. I'm stopping everybody who's walking on the sidewalk so I can tie my shoe. Grow up. Yeah. Grow up. Don't tie your shoes in public. I don't want to see anybody ever tie their shoes in public.

What if it gets untied, though?

Then you walk until you sit down somewhere else. Do not tie your shoes in public. It's very embarrassing.

That's a strange number one.

Yeah, I disagree with that. I enjoy tying my shoes in public because it tells other people, Look at that. That guy knows that I tie my shoes.

I have a nominee.

That guy knows that I tie my shoes.

I got arrested for that. It's the only time I've been arrested.

For tying your shoes. You want people to tie their shoes in public, Dan Lebitard. Okay.

I don't think that happened.

It did happen.

You did not get arrested for tying your shoes.

It did This is what happened. It's a true story. It's the only time I've been arrested. It's this and sarcasm. It's a true story.

So two times you've been arrested.

No, it's the one time. The one time had some sarcasm in it while I was tying my shoe, and I got arrested for it.

As a cop said, You got to do bunny ears, and you loose-footed and pulled it, and he's like, not on my watch. Straight to the clink.

Cops don't like sarcasm.

My friends were getting kicked out of a Johnny Rockets as I was arriving. As they were being kicked out, I noticed that my shoe was untied. I did not take Tony's advice. I stopped, bent down, and tied my shoe. The police officer thought I was being defiant and kicked me in the back. I got up and congratulated him for being the person in crime-ridden Miami who protects the condiments at Johnny Rockets, and that's where I got arrested. Then he waved. Super condescending. He waved. Yeah, more sarcasism. I'm in the back seat. They're very tight in the back seat. I got the plastic cuffs on me, and he's showing me the police report, holding it up against the windows, saying, What about now, smart guy? How smart are you now? I'm like, You don't spell John Doe with a W. He spelled it John Dow because I wouldn't give him my name. It's a true story, but I got arrested for-Tying your shoes?

For tying my shoes in public. Don't do it in public.

My nominee would be when somebody's walking by you with a backpack on and their backpack's open. What a loser.

I do that all the time.

You're right behind them. You could say, Hey, your backpack's open, but you don't.

Tripping on the stairs is bad, though. I eat shit tripping on the stairs. It was an escalator, too.

Is this going up or down?

It was going up, and I was trying to catch the train. That's more embarrassing. I caught my own couple of things here on the list. I was running up the escalator, trying to catch the train, and then I tripped on one of the stair things, fell on the escalator, had the grates of the escalators on my fingers, my phone flew out of my bag, my headphones ripped off. I'm wearing the headphones with nothing plugged in. I'm riding up the escalator, and then my hands are all bruised. I finally get on the train, and I'm like, damn, everybody saw me trip. What an Tripping going down, dangerous.

Tripping going up.

I find that to be a shocking number one from you, tying your shoes in public as the most embarrassing thing someone can do.

I've never saw someone doing that. I've been like, loser.

You don't get it. Tony's super cool.

No, you don't get it, Billy.

Dan Levatard. I want to address Tony and all men who would wear that shirt in public. Stugatz. Don't do it.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

When you mention losers, and I see what Baker Mayfield is doing after almost being swallowed by two organizations that are losers. I want to ask you guys if you think when we do all this analysis of football, we're analyzing how good are the quarterbacks, we're analyzing everyone in sports and their value. When I tell you that this is the list, okay? What two teams combined gave up to decide they wanted a quarterback better than Baker Mayfield, 2022 first-round pick, 2022, fourth-round Pick, 23, first-round pick, 23, third-round pick, '23, first round pick, '23, third round pick, '24, first round pick, '24, fourth round pick, wide receiver, DJ Moore, 2023, first round pick, 2023, second round pick, 2024, first round pick, 2025, second round pick, and 230 million in fully guaranteed money for Deshaun Watson. So total, five first, two seconds, one-third, two-fourths, DJ Moore, and 230 million guaranteed for the privilege of having Deshawn Watson and Bryce Young play quarterback over Baker Mayfield. Think about what's happening there. Think about how shitty we are at value assessment at that position. He was a first-round pick, top of the draft, skillset, even though he's smaller, because quarterbacks usually aren't that size.

Quarterbacks who are successful in that league, very rarely that size. But he has become one of the great values at quarterback, and a couple of years ago, was available, one year, $6 million. How is any of that possible? Explain it to me, because the Bucks have now won the division four straight times. He's the only quarterback we've seen at the end of games, both games this season. Right at the end, he's winning It's very much him. He's doing it, and you feel and know he's going to do it because now he's got the confidence and the swagger that he could not have in Cleveland. Now it's been earned. He was very close, Greg. Very close. This isn't quite Kurt Warner going from grocery store bag boy to MVP of the league, but he was very close to being relegated a backup who would not be given another chance. And now Tampa has a team that was super limited last night. Super limited. That game, most teams in the league lose that game on the road with those injuries and those matchup problems. There's just not many teams or quarterbacks in the league who win that game, given what the issues were last night.

It's incredible the way he's reworked his entire image because two, three years ago, we're thinking, right now, I think he had a long future in the league, wearing a ball cap and carrying a clipboard as a backup. Now, he's one of the clutch guys in the league Baker Mayfield, you think of a clutch guy who can win in the fourth quarter, and that's incredible. But it goes back to Tom braided in the seventh round in terms of the NFL not being able to calculate quarterbacking accurately.

But how many of those guys are there, Zaz? Who are the guys right now in the league that you look at and say that quarterback is someone to be feared late in clutch situations. I just don't think... Because Lamar Jackson isn't that guy. I'm sorry. No. There are certain guys in the league, and I don't say this as indictment.

I'd be afraid of Burrow. If he's playing, I'd be afraid of Burrow.

That's correct. But there aren't that many. There are a handful, though, that the conditions for them on the team make them have these enormous leads because they can be front runners. They're fine if they're ahead. But at the end of the game, I fear Lamar Jackson, obviously, because of the toolbox. But Lamar Jackson is not one of these quarterbacks that you've seen drive down the field. In fact, he did it against Buffalo on the playoffs last year, and then Mark Andrews dropped the ball at the goal line. But he's not one of those guys that has, You tell me if I have this wrong because I'm doing it from memory. And surely he has to have game-winning drives. But I think Baker Mayfield has two this season that I remember more than any one Lamar Jackson, or for that matter, Josh Allen has, where you're just like at the end of a game, that guy is going to drive down the field, and I know he's going to drive down the field. Josh Allen had it against Kansas City, and then Mahomes took it back. Thirteen seconds left. Thirteen seconds left in a game.

We're taking my homes out of this conversation.

That's what you're saying, right? I'm taking my homes out of the conversation, but more largely, what I'm saying is, are there really more quarterbacks in the league that you think are going to choke late than there are quarterbacks in the league that you think are going to be great late, that you fear being great late? Definitely. Because I think Baker Mayfield has now entered that conversation. I'm asking you with who else?

I start with Josh Allen because he can beat with his arm, obviously. But when he's running the ball, I'm confident because he's a linebacker-sized guy who can truck over the other linebacker trying to tackle him. He can beat you any way. I think Josh Allen right now is state-of-the-art, taken over from Mahomes, at least temporarily.

But he's just great. I'm talking about great late. I'm talking about the feared aura. He's just simply a great quarterback. But I don't think of him. Montana did this. You know what I'm talking about. These guys at the end of games, braided was the master, obviously. Leave him anytime and you're done. When you talk about Josh Allen, I talked about this play earlier this week. I want to talk about it again because it was a truly amazing play that simply got lost Sunday because it was an uninteresting game. Sauce Gardner, the most expensive player on the Jets defense, has a blindside blitz, no block, running fast as he can right at the quarterback's back, has him squared up, hits him in the back, but Josh Allen notices the last second that he's coming, spins out of it. But Sausse Gardner couldn't tackle someone that large. It was like watching a smaller animal try and defeat a larger animal that it cannot defeat because it's too big. A cornerback who tackles, because Sauce does tackle, had him lined up, Zaz, and the athleticism and strength made it so that Sauce Gardner was crumpled on the ground.

Coach is called the perfect defensive call. Had Josh Allen dead to rights, doesn't matter who your coaching design or anything is, it's a blindside blitz. You saw in the game last night, it was won by the running backs block on a blitzing cornerback because Baker Mayfield on fourth and 10 ran for 15 yards when he should have been tackled. But that play is what Josh Allen does that makes him the MVP of the league. Everything else could be called in a way where Buffalo is at a disadvantage and the other team has all the coaching advantages and has gotten to the quarterback the correct way. Again, this is Sauce Gardner untouched, had him lined up, and the athleticism, awareness, and strength made it so that a professional football player looked like he can't hit because he was hitting Josh Allen in the back.

There's maybe three guys in the league right now, 80 yards to go, two minutes left, need a touch down. You feel like they're going to do it. I think it's Allen, I think it's Burrow and maybe Mayfield, too. But there are other guys in the league who are still in the league, who are still starting quarter, actually, who used to be those guys. Russell Wilson used to be one of those guys. Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers used to be one of those guys. I guess Patrick Mahomes used to be one of those guys. When he gets Rashi Rice back,. He'll probably be that guy again.

Dak Prescott has the same as Mahomes. They're very close. Josh Allen also has a lot. To Dan's point, Baker does have more than Lamar Jackson.

The other thing- Game-winning drive. The other thing that Baker Mayfield has, because I'm telling you that the assessment of Baker Mayfield has been wrong because we've had a sample size that has teams rejecting him. Do you know who the best third-down quarterback in the league was last year? The Bucks were the best team in the league. The Bucks were the best team in the league on third down. And that's something I associate with. When Tua got here and they started throwing the ball around, I was like, Finally, the Dolphins got one of those. Third and 10 doesn't matter. There aren't many of them. It was Aaron Rodgers, it was Josh Allen. I don't know if it's Lamar Jackson. Third and 10 doesn't matter.

And that lasted a season for the Dolphins.

And Lamar Jackson point, like you asked, when was the last time you remember a Lamar Jackson comeback drive?

Could it be there not down a lot?

A, but B, it was game one last season when Isaiah likely wore a 14 instead of a 13. And on that two-point conversion, they dropped it, but he drove them down the field and they scored to basically almost win the game.

I agree with you on Baker and his ability to come up clutch. It's obvious the last two games, but at the same time, you talk about both of these things. You've got to be trailing a lot to have these comebacks and your play during those games impact that. When you talk about third down, last year, they added a dynamic pass catching running back in Bucky Irving, who can get you seven yards no matter what. They have two big physical receivers last year, Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. So the skilled players do help when it comes to stuff like that.

He didn't have Godwin last night. Their running game was- That's Abuka's good player, though. I'm just saying last year. And you can just throw it over to where Mike Evans is a lot of times, and usually, he doesn't get played the way the Texans were playing, and where it's just like, we're going to put one guy, we're going to put Stingley on him, and that's it. We're not going to do... We don't have to worry about anything else. That's one of the reasons I was stunned Houston didn't win that game. You've got that pass rush, you've got their tackles out. And furthermore, Houston's got a way to stop Mike Evans, which I thought was going to be the only way that the Bucks would win last night.

You know about that, Mecha Buka?