Transcript of Hour 2: The Man Who Blamed His Dog (feat. Chauncey Swallows & Gout Gout)

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stukatz podcast.

Man, football has been amazing. The NFL has been incredible, and we get a double header tonight. Two really good games. You got Tampa Bay, at Houston, you got the Chargers, at the Raiders. These tickets got to be hot, got to be moving, got to be tough to get in those buildings. Well, take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets. Listen to me. Do so with game time. Download that app, game time. Create an account and use code Dan, and you get $20 off your first purchase. Again, that is code D-A-N. Terms apply. Swipe, tap, ticket, go.

Going to read just a few quotes here from Canelo and Crawford, and then I'll leave it alone. Just a couple of quotes to give you the historical perspective on some of the stuff that happened this weekend that wasn't just football. Canelo says, I tried my best tonight and I could not figure out the style. I think Crawford is way better than Floyd Mayweather. And then this from Crawford, I'm the face of boxing now. I'm the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world like I've always been.

What are you laughing about? I mean, just Does he deserve that?

He does. Yes, he does. Yes. I mean, he's undefeated. He made a great fighter look amateur. Crawford's older than Canelo, and he made Canelo look like he didn't know what he was doing.

And he can walk a supermarket fairly anonymously.

That is correct. That is a diamond of the sport.

Well, I don't know if you can be the face of the sport. If your face can go out in public and not be bothered.

Yes, good point.

Probably gets recognized by one person. Like, Hey, Terrence.

Put it up on the poll. Do you think Monu can go to Navarro and not be recognized? You'd be an idiot if you thought so. No way.

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Face of boxing, Jake Paul or Tarrant.

That's a blowout.

What a ridiculous question.

I want to talk about a couple of other things because we were mentioning the The Tush Push, they ran it on 12% of their plays yesterday. If you like that- That's high. 12% of their offensive plays were the Tush Push.

I like the fact that there's this unstable thing that teams need to scheme and get personnel to stop. I don't think we should do away with it just because one team is really good at it.

What scheming is there? There's no scheme for that.

Sign a sumo, wrestling.

Hey, low man wins. All right, we've heard that.

There is a scheme. There's just one scheme. I'm going to tell you now, I think You think it's an unstable play, but I'm going to bring up some news from yesterday that will tell you how you stopped that play. I associate the name I'm about to say with how to stop that play. I learned the name that I'm about to say because it stopped the play that way. Jedavian Clowning. I was introduced to him at South Carolina because he jumped over an offensive line and nuked a running back with the perfect timing. That's how I learned the name of a player I would not have otherwise He signed yesterday with the Cowboys, and I just really enjoy the idea of Jedavian Clowning sitting around after week one waiting for his phone to ring. He knows that one of those calls is going to be he wins the lottery again. Somebody needs a pass rusher. He doesn't need to go to training camp. He doesn't have to be ready for week one. He is a mercenary of the highest order. For $10 million, or now $6 million, you can get him to rush quarterbacks for you for a few weeks of season.

It's like Jason Statham over these last few years, just waiting for the call to ring for one last job.

And it's only to play a handful of plays a game.

Pass rushing down. Yeah, that's it.

It'll be like what? Dozen plays? Mm-hmm.

The Cowboys stay the best, too, because this is such a great cowboy signing.

You could get Jadavian Clowny to get you four sacks a season when he's 84 years old. He'll be able to get around the edge. It's got to be third and 10. He'll be waiting for that call at the nursing home, and Jerry Jones will still be making it 40 years from now in that job. Greg Cody, you have an event coming up here. What are you going on? For the Miami Harold, you are doing something for the Miami Harold. And I should let people know that Greg Cody has Ray Hudson on the latest episode of Greg Cody Finds Out. He's got Ray Hudson, the best announcing in the history of South Florida on his show, and every day Until the World Cup, we are going to play Ray Hudson goal calls. Gets around. Meireles tucks it in. Gets it by Di Maria. Genius. That's the only word you can use.

They should name the constellation in the heavens.

After Lionel Messi.

Yeah, we actually asked Ray about his favorite Rayisms, and I didn't think he was going to answer. I thought he would just go, Oh, there's so many.

What a great interview. He gave us a bunch of those calls. We asked his favorite players to call, and he just went on this four-minute thing of just going through all the players and just describing them only as Ray Hudson could. I left that interview so happy because if you're into Ray Hudson at all, it was a great interview.

Yeah, it was fun. And Ray and I go, way back, and we've had parallel careers because we're the same age. And now I'm thinking of retirement and all that, and Ray just retired. So there's a little bit of emotion to the conversation we had.

I get Ray to rip Chris Winningham for Panthers takes.

Wait a minute. Did you just break news here? Hold on a second. You're thinking about retirement?

I've been thinking about retirement for a couple of years now. He's 71. And? What's going on? Obviously, I haven't decided yet. I'm still doing it.

But you know, a lot of people say once you're thinking about it, it might be time.

You never know.

There's also only one activity after retirement.

Yeah, that's what Bobby Bauton said. Look what happened to him. Yeah, he was right. He died.

Yeah, I know. No, don't retire.

Let's not trick the people, though. We're talking about retiring from writing. You're never giving up your podcast.

Well, probably not. I've mentioned before, my podcast is going to get the exclusive when I'm on my deathbed. You're going to be interviewing me.

Yetty and I will continue it when he's gone. Yeah, in my It will be the Greg Cody Show with Greg Cody or without actually.

That would be great. That would be the Greg Cody Show without Greg Cody.

Greg, have you ever thought? Some people think about going back to school and picking up a new trade, a new career. Have you ever given that any thought? No.

Oh. No, I don't want to work that.

You wanted to be a bus driver as a kid?

I did. He wants to be a sanitary worker.

He thinks it's a dream job to be a sanitary worker.

I also want to be an old-timey FM DJ, spin in the Records, introducing the latest from the doors.

Go ahead. Take us-W-R-O-K. We're all going to close our eyes. When is the latest from the doors? Yeah.

Go ahead. I want to talk about this event tomorrow night, if that's okay.

You're done Promoting your other thing? Now you're going to promote this thing?

I'm done promoting my pending retirement. Tomorrow night at Sports and Social in the Dolphin Mall. It's in Southwest Dade. If you all live down here, it's tomorrow night, Tuesday from 6: 00 to 08: 00 PM. Myself, Omar Kelly and Isaiah Smalls, Dolphin Writers, and Jordan McFeerson, who covers the hurricanes, are going to be there meeting people, talking about the dolphins and the canes. And boy, what a disparate conversation that'll be. But if you're in the area, swing by, have a couple of drinks, say howdy, and we hope to see you there.

On the Greg Cody show, he encouraged people also to fly in if they'd like. Where I jumped in and I was like, If you're local, this seems nice. Don't fly in for this.

I know. I was kidding. If you have-But not all the way kidding. If you have all money to spend and you got nothing better to do tomorrow-I'd still wait. Take a private jet, land in sweet water. Unlimited income. Hop it over to the-If someone has unlimited income, it's still probably saving.

In fairness, right there is Miami International Airport. You just take the 836 over. People do it all the time to go to Dolphin Mall. Usually, it's people from South Central America. They go, they buy a bunch of stuff, and then they resell it. It's a quick trip right like that. You'll probably even get a shuttle. If you do want to see Greg, there is probably the opportunity. You fly into Miami International Airport, hop on a shuttle, head over to the Dolphin Mall, and they'll take you back, I think.

Okay, there's got to be someone who's willing to fly in. If someone were to fly in tomorrow night just to meet Greg and ask a question or two about the Dolphins. Dan will pay for it. There's got to be something we could do for that person. There you go. Someone's got to be willing to fly in and see you.

Okay, I'm going to make this deal. If you fly in-Don't say this. And you show me your plane ticket. Go on. People never have plane tickets anymore. My wife always laughs me when I say, Do you have the ticket? As we're going to the airport, ticket. Fly in. Make yourself known. I will give you, free of charge, a Greg Cody sticker. It's a beautiful 4 by 4-inch sticker. You can fix it.

We can see one there.

We have a- Make sure the flights from Japan aren't full. People are going to be coming from all over the globe.

Do you have a sticker, Dan? I don't have one of those stickers. There you go.

Making fun over here.

There's one right there.

You could just steal it. Oh, yeah, this thing right here. You could have one of these.

We got to get on a plane. Yes.

Even though we're about to change our logo.

That's a rumor.

Wow, there's just news everywhere.

There really is. Is it after he retires?

Well, surely he can't be retiring if he's changing the logo.

Technically, those logos will be worth more, no?

We say Shirley, but it might be the Greg Cody show without Greg Cody soon. We've already established that.

Three huge news- Boms.

Nuggets. Boms.

Greg is thinking about retiring from writing. He has a succession plan in place for his podcast. And-new logo. New logo. Yeah, and a big event.

Andy's going to be appearing tomorrow night at Dolphin Mall, and people are going to fly in. And if you fly in, you get a single sticker. Great.

Plus, I fired a Dolphins assistant coach. It's been a busy Monday for me. Yeah, big one.

It really has.

He really has. Brady's announcement's got nothing on you. There you go. What did he announced? He was teasing it on Fox. He was like, Before we let you go, you got a big announcement tomorrow. He's like, It's something that I've been working on for several years. I'm very excited to check out this Raiders game. I will be announcing something big.

Let's all guess.

I don't think he's coming back.

Did you guys know that he has a 10-part series on Apple, Tom braided does? And the reason I asked the question is because Tom braided won more than Michael Jordan and can't and won't be remembered the way Michael Jordan was. And I think most people don't even know that Tom braided has sat down and done a 10-part series with Apple, not unlike Michael Jordan's 10-part series.

I don't understand why he's not. I've already started correcting things by saying, I used to say, Well, that person is a Michael Jordan of blank. Now I say that person is a Tom braided of blank.

How has that not happened? And why has that not happened? Because Mike seems to be out in front of things that will not catch on there.

He's got more things going on for him. Listen, he was drafted, famously, late round draft pick. He's handsome and he's white. I don't know how this hasn't happened yet.

He's boring. He's been boring the whole time.

He's less boring than Michael Jordan.

But he talked in a way that created a narrative. He says, Let's go. Yeah, he's just a... You said it. He's just like a bland white guy, and he won a lot.

Excuse me. He talks way more than Michael Jordan. If your argument is that he is publicly boring, Michael Jordan is the Tom braided of being publicly broke-I don't mean that.

I meant in the game, like the way that Michael Jordan had a lore built up around him in terms of the trash talk that he dished out to other competitors in one-on-one, in the Olympics, all these things. Are you insane? What did we have from braided until he was with the Bucaneers?

Tom braided would talk so much shit on the field. But then would shy away from it.

What?

He would shy away from it? What?

We disagree. I feel like I'm with Jeremy. Maybe Brady's been interesting the last couple of years. During his career, he was not. He was boring.

He's not interesting now. He's not interesting on the air.

He talks more now than he did.

But Michael Jordan doesn't. He's mythical because you don't really get him anywhere. You could just make Michael Jordan whatever you want Michael Jordan to be because you can't see Michael Jordan be anything else. It's the shoe.

That's the big thing, too. It's the logo.

It's the shoe.

Nike The NASCAR Cup Series playoffs are heating up, and for the first time since 2017, they're headed back to New Hampshire. It's where short track pressure meets championship stakes, and it all goes down this Sunday at 2: 00 PM Eastern on USA. This one's going to be wicked. They call it the Magic Mile for a reason. It's short, technical, and unforgiving. And with the stakes this high, expect elbows out people, tempers hot, and a few surprises before the day is done. Draftkings has the odds. So whether you're betting on the playoff powerhouses to dominate or backing a spoiler to shake things up, there's plenty of ways to get in on the action. New track in the playoffs, new pressure. Sameful throttle intensity. New Hampshire, Sunday at 2: 00 PM Eastern on USA.

Don Levatard.

This guy comes in as the next Wayne Gretszky. His nicknames include the Chosen One and McJeezus. Okay? He's a great player. He scores a lot of goals. He scores a ton of assists, but it hasn't translated to making Edmonton a powerhouse in the league. They're in the final.

Stugatz. What's your nickname for him?

Mcovorated.

This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz.

When we're watching sports these days and someone is becoming better than everyone else, the way that you're watching Malik Nabors be at wide receiver with limitations at quarterback, that game yesterday between the Cowboys and Giants was magical. It's not what I was expecting in any way. Brian Dayball went late in the game, platooning quarterbacks on what was the best Statistical game of Russell Wilson's life, at least in part because he has neighbors. Neighbors was double-covered on one play. I don't know how they scored that countdown. It was his second least impressive countdown of the day because of the catch that he made earlier. How is it that the Giants have only one legitimate weapon and he's got more catches through 20 games than just about anyone who's played the position? How is someone so good at wide receiver that he plays on a bad offensive team and we're still all looking at him and saying, Oh, yeah, that guy might be the best receiver in the entire sport. Totally unguardable, even though his offense always stinks. Like his his quarterback play. He's not one of the best receivers any of us have ever seen has gotten bad quarterback play the entire of his career and through 20 games, has more catches than just about anyone's ever had through 20 games.

Russell Wilson has looked washed for so long that everybody's been clamoring for Jackson dart. But yesterday, after the 48-yard countdown to Malik Nabors, which was his third deep passing countdown of the game, this is per next Gen stats. He completed seven of nine deep passes in the game for 264 yards. That's the most deep passing yards in a game that they've ever tracked. And it's in large part because Malik Nabors is unguardable.

Right. That doesn't mean that Russell Wilson... I mean, it sounds weird to say, but it doesn't necessarily mean Russell Wilson had a good game yesterday. No, that's my point. Russell Wilson, he can still throw the ball deep.

Bad mistake in overtime.

Right. He tried it one too many times, and it led to the turnover that led to the game-winning kick. But he's throwing it deep to a guy who is going to win those 50/50 battles. Russell Wilson stinks, but he could still throw the ball deep, and he's got a really good receiver.

Not since Josh Gordon, I think. Do we all concede this is a dominant force, a wide receiver with a quarterback that's closer to ass than elite?

I also think it's because Malik Nabors is disproportionately their big star in terms of targets. They don't have a great running back. Their second receiver is not great. He's a one-man show.

The second receiver had 140 yards receiving yesterday.

Well, okay, that's fair.

He was at the Dolphin game, and it was the first time that he's had to worry about Cowboys Giants occupying that TV.

And he's got retirement on his mind, too. There's a lot going on.

Yeah, that's true. But would you agree that Malik Nabors is by far their number one target? Yeah, easy.

That dude strolled in the NFL, and he was already a top 10 gifted wide receiver. But it's still crazy.

No matter the amount of targets, This is not. This is an unusual thing you're witnessing, and it's something that's special, even compared to people who are special. I can target anybody in that Chiefs game with Patrick Mahomes, and I wouldn't have gotten shit. The idea that this guy, with those limits on offense, is putting up production numbers in his first 20 games that are completely unheard of, and specifically, what I saw from him yesterday, where you're not supposed to be able to complete the deep ball to somebody who the defense is double-covering him because they keep getting beat on the deep ball, and he still completes it when he's not open.

And he's only 6 feet, by the way. It's not 6'3, 6'4. He's 6 feet.

Out of all the colleges that say, We're a linebacker, you. We're tight-end, you. No one touches LSE when it comes to wide receiver. Just the three best, arguably, in the NFL right now. All played very recently.

But this is why Brian Kelly is so mad at reporters, because he's winning games on defense. This is the reason... Brian Kelly doesn't want to be winning games with defense. He doesn't want to be winning 20 to 10. He wants to be winning because his wide receivers are better than everybody else. Nobody associates Brian Kelly with defense.

What do you want me to tell you?

Play the sound again of McDaniel and what his whole soundtrack is going to be the entirety of this week as Greg Cody answers questions at Dolphin Mall from people who fly in for stickers to ask him whether this is a historically bad team that the Dolphins What's that?

Ultimately, I look at absolutely everything falling on me. I don't see that's the responsibility of a head coach that you go into knowing that. That being said, I'm very frustrated with Collect it. Basically, coaches and players that did not execute communication in a very dire period of the game. With the game on the line, Our communication and our substitution was not up to par. Ultimately, I hold all responsibility for all things.

A lot of words. I didn't need all those words. I just needed that one sentence that he uttered that said that the entire world is falling in on his head, and everywhere he looks, there are just things falling.

Ultimately, I look at absolutely everything falling on me.

See, McDaniel had the right to have the Brian Kelly attitude, right? He's under so much pressure. He should have been the one going, What do you mean by that? Why are you asking that question? But yet he's fairly kind, even in humiliation.

It is a humiliating time. There's no disputing that, is there?

Right. I agree. No, there's no equivocating it. It's an awful two-game start.

You know the Carolina season is over. You know the Saint season is over. You know the Bengals season is over, even though some of you are going to try and talk yourself into them being a playoff team. And I think we know the Dolphins season is over. We can't say this about many teams today, can we? Because we're not saying it about the Chiefs.

Brown season's over.

Brown season's over. Jet season's over.

Who else do you have? Say that Carolina has an outside shots, so they have to host a home game in their division. That is usually weird. Tennessee?

They showed some grit. No, but Tennessee's season is not over because- Just because it's interesting. Yeah, you're interested in every game Kam Ward's playing. Their season is never going to be over. What?

Yeah. It's going to be over at some point in time. After 17 games, it's going to be over.

I'm getting a little tired of all the adulation for Kam Ward, whose statistics through two games are abysmo. Now, I'm saying you can't just go by stats. The game.

Okay. He doesn't got a lot to work with right now.

I know. They're a terrible team. That's why I'm saying when you're talking about they're going to be worth watching all year, I'm not sure what you mean.

You saw one play yesterday, though, that I didn't think he'd be able to ever do in the pros. I thought that that was just a college play, and we'd only ever see that as a college play. The one shutdown that Tennessee scored yesterday, I think that was also... Was that not on fourth down? He's just scrambling around, looping all over the place, and then doing something no quarterback in the league would have done. Nobody would have thrown it across their body like that.

But he also doesn't get away with it often. The strip sack that led to that game totally being over and over. It catches up to him. There's a reason why they say, Don't do it. Now, he just gets away with it more than other people because he doesn't stop trying it. But he threw across his body a cow, and it put Miami in a 21-point hole.

Getting to watch on a weekly basis, your number one overall pick at quarterback who is supposed to be your franchise savior. No matter how bad the team's record is overall, that's an exciting process for a fan base. Yeah.

It's also exciting because you don't know what you're going to get. He's reckless as he was at UM, and I'm not sure if that's going to fly as much for as long in the NFL. I think if you're a Titans fan, you're loving some of his plays, but you're also shaking your head going, wow, that's not a safe quarterback. That's not a guy who we can really trust to not F up.

But Dolphins fans should be watching Tua and feeling Confident?

I didn't say that.

He didn't say that.

Can we rank LSU receiver, please? Jamal Chase is where on this list? Where's Odell Beckham on it? Neither one of them is number one, right?

Justin Jefferson.

Where's Brian Thomas on it?

Just since 2020, Brian Thomas is the fourth best receiver to come out of LSU because you have Jamar Chase, Justin Jefferson, and Malik Nabors all ahead of him. You can rank those however you want. Beckham's fourth.

Beckham started like Nabors did first 20 games and then got hurt. And I'm going to reject what you guys are saying on him saying, Well, he's targeted a lot. That offense and that production usually requires a good quarterback, a good offensive line, another receiver, something, something That thing. That receiver, we're all looking at the Giants and are like, Yes, Brian Dable is going to be fired. He's going to get fired. That's not going to last very much longer over there. But we know they've got a bona fide receiver, and now they're trying to do the thing that everybody in the league wants to do, which is Jackson Dard a franchise quarterback, because it's not going to be Russell Wilson. But when you can do that on the road with a wide receiver, I don't care how bad Dallas's defense is. Russell Wilson has never thrown for that many passing yards. And the reason that he was able to do it is because the Dallas Cowboy simply had no answers for what I believe is the best receiver to ever come out of LSU. And I can't believe I'm saying that. I just can't believe I'm saying that when he's had no help.

Saquon Barkley, look at what Saquon Barkley looked like when he was with the Giants. He has no help for him to go into Dallas on a one o'clock game, which Dallas and New York haven't played in 20 years, and put on that performance when Dallas only has to stop him. It's only him and can't.

Look, Malik Nabors gets almost all of the credit, all right? But when Russell Wilson never has even close to that game again this season, we could admit Dallas This defense is horrendous.

Yes, but still, they were trying to double-team somebody who was beating them deep in a league where everyone's throwing at nine yards. Mahomes can't throw at 10 yards anymore. He did it a couple of times yesterday and went 50-50 on wide-open deep threats.

I think the three best receivers in the league right now are LSU guys. Justin Jefferson, Jamal Chase, Malik Nabors. Then you start talking CD Lam. Even JSN in Seattle is laying claim to that. Potentially, he can enter that conversation. For me, I'm on St. Brown, okay? But he's not top three. The top three guys are LSU guys.

Okay? St. Brown is okay? No, he's saying okay.

He should be in the conversation. Yeah, he's in that conversation.

He was agreeing. Okay was an agreement.

Second tier.

He's no gout-gout. We can agree.

Yes, thank you. Not as fast.

Why don't you tell people who Gout Gout is? I don't think his name is even Gout Gout. Why don't you tell me? It is Gout Gout.

I had Gout once.

Yeah. So did my science teacher in high school, Chauncey Swallows.

Mr. Swallows?

Okay, it's spelled as you'd think. It's spelled as you'd think. G-o-u-t, G-O-U-T. And I see this guy's name. I'm so fascinated by the name that I got to research it. And it turns out Gout Gout, the World Track and Field Championships are going on in Tokyo. Gout Gout is a 17-year-old Australian sprinter, especially 200 meters. He's being phrased as the next Usain Bolt. He's going up against US champion Noah Lyles in the 200 meters in this World Championships. And should he win, all of a sudden, he's going to be the big thing in all of track and field. You're going to know gout, gout. You're going to be talking about gout, gout. You're going to see signs for gout, gout. Everybody on TV is going to be talking about gout, gout. I can't say Gout-gout too much.

The biggest name in track and field is going to be named Gout Gout?

That's correct. That's exactly what I'm implying and saying.

Dan Levatard.

Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay, 38 for 45.

Stugatz.

Shred 'Em.

This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz.

Are they saying his name correctly? This is an Australian name, What's the backstory on this? That cannot be... Are we pronouncing that correctly? His first name and his last name are Gout-Gout.

Right, we are pronouncing it correctly. His heritage is Sudan. His parents are from South Sudan. Apparently, Currently, the family name was pronounced a little bit differently, but it sounded similar. And so they began calling him Gout-Gout because Americans know that word. And his dad's worried that he's going to be mistaken for the illness, the illness, gout.

But at any rate, yes. Richman's disease.

Yeah, but there's no doubt, doubt that gout, gout is going to be the next big thing in track and field.

Is it a Richman's disease?

Yeah, it's a King's disease because it comes from eating so much meat and drinking a lot of liquor. And When you were a king, you could have all the meat you want and all the liquor you want. That's why I got gout.

Opulence. Is that why you got gout? That's an old person. It put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Is gout an old person's disease? Also, are you surprised at all that Zaz had gout?

Rich man's disease.

You had that in the manner?

I have them saying his name. I live in a mansion, though. You guys want to hear how they...

There is gout, gout. Quite a sensation, this young man.

An Australian, it's gout, gout.

Gout, gout. No doubt.

Our nerve.

Look at how pleased- He's flying. Yes, he's very fast.

200 meters.

Can you imagine? Speaking of flying, did Zazlo fly first class again?

I did not fly first class this weekend. What happened? It wasn't available.

How about suite? Did you get a Did you have a suite on the road?

I did, but we were not... I had a suite, but we were not in a great hotel this weekend. So yes, I had a suite, but it's like, we're not good.

What do you do this weekend? Because this weekend, you here? Yeah. So what do you say? Hey, you're not achieving me that sweet. Daddy's still getting a suite.

No, I don't want to stay in a hotel. Why not?

A suite?

Because I live in a mansion.

He's in a mansion. Yeah, but who knows what you can do with that suite? What does that mean?

I could sleep in it. Why don't we have a party? Yeah, you can. I may have a party in my mansion. I'm going to stay home. We have Miami, Florida this week, so I don't have to travel. I'm really excited about that. We're going to be doing this show from inside the parking lot at the stadium. Yeah, this is a home game for me. That's right. They're all coming to me. I stay here, you come to me.

No flying? No flying. You like to fly first No, I like to fly first class, especially.

But no, I did not fly first class this week. It wasn't available.

If it was made available to you, they say, You know what, Zaz, we could fly you to Atlanta and back to Miami first class.

What if I fly from Fort Lawn Airport to Miami?

Okay, first class. Would you do the flight just to have that first class experience?

No, because I'm not a stupid idiot.

As a famous Santa Fe grad, you have a lot of friends from that Gainesville area. Anybody's coming over?

Again, I've never been to Santa Fe. And yes, I do have a lot of friends who are going to the game. It's very exciting. I want everyone to come and watch me and Amber Wilson do the show Saturday from inside the stadium. That's going to be a lot of fun.

Okay, enough promoting of your local things. Were there any interesting things that happened on your flight? Because you're always returning with details from these things.

Listen to this. Tell me if I'm weird, all right? Or if anyone else agrees with this. Confirm it. Can you at least let me say the scenario? I'm not sitting first class. All right, let me put that out there. I'm not sitting first class. I'm on the way. I'm with the normals. I'm on my way to Knoxville on Friday, okay? And a couple of times in In the flight, it's pretty stank. Greg, it smells like someone took a shit on my upper lip. All right? There's something going on.

Very vivid.

Yeah. And this happening several times. We're on the third time, and then it's the fourth time. The woman next to me, she's getting upset about the smell. I don't complain. I'm not a complainer. I'm just like, whatever.

She thought you farted. Where do people normally shit on you?

She's upset. She's like, It smells terrible.

She for sure thought you farted.

I hope not. That's very embarrassing. All right? And I don't know. It's obviously an offensive smell. I don't like the smell. It's gross to think that there are people farting around me. It's very disgusting.

So finally, you put your shoes back on.

And then across the aisle, in my row- There's a guy looking up, whistling. There's a service dog. Oh, boy.

Oh, no.

And so the guy looks over. Now, the dog did not take a dump on the plane, but the guy looks over, he leans over and goes, I'm really sorry. My dog's been farting. What? Okay. I'm like, Oh, wow. The thing is, the thing that's weird is, I found the whole thing offensive that a person is farting this many times on the plane. But once the guy admitted that it's his dog, it's like, I didn't mind it anymore. It wasn't that bad.

Did you believe him?

Oh, 100%.

He knows his dog's smell? What's happening there?

Maybe he knows his dog gets nervous flying.

Yeah, you know what's happening? The guy's farting.

Yeah, you know your dog's farting.

You think it was the guy farting?

I think the guy's definitely farting and blaming his dog.

You can't be so sure your dog farted four times. Yeah, you are.

The smell was so bad. It's so disgusting. Trust you? But when I learned that it was the dog, I didn't mind it anymore. I was like, Oh, okay, cute dog.

No, I can relate. When Jump Charlie breaks wind, he breaks glass. I mean, it's a pungent identifiable owner. It was bad. Yeah. Yeah, it is. I mean, dogs, man, they can do it. They got stuff in them that comes out, and it's- Go on. No, it's- That's my gimmick. It's as bad as a human fart. That's my experience. Now, the cat's not so much. I've never smelled my cat.

Put it on the poll at Lebitard's show. Have you ever smelled a cat's fart? Put it on the poll at Lebitard's show. Have you ever blamed your farts on the dog? And put it on the poll at Lebitard's show. Do you know the smell of your dog's fart?

Charlie can let a pet is what you're saying.

Yeah, he definitely can let a pet. And yes, I used to blame my dog. Back when I farted, I stopped farting. You did? You stopped farting? I'm You retired from farting? I'm a recovered fartaholic. Really? Yeah. Erlene, my wife will tell you that. I used to fart routinely. I stopped. And that's really one of the things that I'm the most proud of. What helped?

Was it an addiction? Did you go to a treatment for it or you just said, Today's the day, cool turkey.

Give all the farters out their advice.

It's a matter of will. You're saying it's a matter of will and that you're proud of overcoming something that you're saying is a choice.

Would you go to meetings and be like, I'm Greg Cody, I'm a fartaholic?

No, if they had those, I would have. But I've given up two things in my life. I've given up farting and cigars. Bier, not so much, not yet.

But you're proud. What happened? What did you change? I don't think this is a matter of will, and I don't think most people can give up farting. It's not like lent.

Okay. I used to do it. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't do it in a restaurant or on an airplane. But if I'm home in the privacy of my own home, it's just the wife and I watching TV, I might give it a fart. She's like, What was that?

Quit that. She wouldn't know what it was?

She wouldn't know, of course. But she's being polite saying, What is that?

Does mom ever fart?

They don't admit it when they do the women. They? Yeah. My wife does. Really?

What is that? My wife sometimes farts when she laughs.

I don't think you can say it.

I'm making a stereotype. I'm saying women don't admit it.

If anything, I would say you're saying women are on equal playing field as men. They fart as well.

That's what Christopher says. My wife farts.

What he was saying is that as a gender, the entirety of the gender does not admit it. It's an absolute that I'm not comfortable with. I want to ask no more questions, no more follows about anything that we're talking about.

I have a Chauncey Swallows follow-up.

Yeah, I'd like to know more about him.

I do not have a high school teacher Chauncey Swallows, Mr. Swallows follow-up. The follow-up I do have from earlier in the show, though, is Greg Cody with all eternal sports celebrations at his disposal, said Jalen Waddle and his celebration is the greatest of all the celebrations in sports history.

He did have a moment, the Waddle.

That's a pretty good one. It lacks a certain amount of perspective when he's got 50 years of celebrations to choose from that he would choose the Jalen Waddle as the greatest of all the celebrations.

When he got a countdown pass yesterday and didn't do the Waddle, I was so let down. I thought about writing my entire column about that, but I decided to get better of it.

That would have been funny. This is what has happened to the Dolphins. He knows better with booing and banners flying in all over the stadium to do the Waddle when he scored to make it 12-7 because New England's missed two extra points.

But then he had this crazy celebration when Tyreek, two of it, throws a terrible ball. Did you see Waddle's reaction to that? He acted like so. That doesn't happen very often.

Because they all know that it's been a year since they've completed a 30-yard pass. It has.

Unbelievable.

Did you hear the announcement when they completed a 24-yard? They were like, Well, it wasn't 30, though. I know what you guys are thinking. Still not 30.

Tyreek Hill didn't like Omar Kelly's question about not having a 30-yard catch for a year. You can ask Omar Kelly about it tomorrow night at Dolphin Mall with Greg Cody, who's going to be there answering all your Dolphin questions.

I would say the saddest part of my Dolphin experience yesterday was getting up. I was at someone's house, probably six or seven of us watching the game. I got up and gave everyone high fives when we forced our first punt of the season in the second quarter. Third quarter. Third quarter.

Apologies. That's good.

It felt sad because I was just genuine. We got a punt. And then just a high fives from around the room. A sad moment.

Pathetic, almost.

That game was such a disaster, man. That was so bad. It seems as though they're going to survive this, though. Usually around now. It's a short week.

Hear me out on this. If they are, because I'm so done with them being middle of the road. If you're just like, All right, if we're going to be bad, let's be bad. Don't you let everyone keep their jobs? If they fire people, then there's a chance someone comes in and spark something. They're bad right now. Let's let them ride this out. I want the first pick. Keep McDaniel.

Keep for here. I'm not ready to do that show just yet. I am ready to ask Greg Cody the question, when the Dolphins did get their first stop, going back to last season, and I think I have this number correctly, 3,412 drives. Do you say in the press box, punt? When the punt was in the press box, do you do your punt every time there's a punt?

No, I did not yesterday. I think I have. If I'm in a particularly a bouilliant mood, for some reason, I already know what I'm going to write. It's half written in the third quarter. I might give it a punt, punt. Yeah. Punt, punt, punt, punt. It has to be a little air in it.

Because it It sounds like a punt. It sounds like a football hitting the foot.

Punt.

The Dolphins made that happen twice this season. I know.

Punt.

Greg Cody fired a special teams coach, and he only did it because the guy got in the way of the column.

After they had a return.

90-yard return. Ridiculous. Inexcusable. There'll be plenty more punts this year. Don't worry about that.

You can't predict that confidently.

Yes, I can. You couldn't have predicted before. Now, they'd have two this season. 'S true.