Transcript of Hour 2: Jerry Orbach Was Right!!!!!!!

This is the Dan Levatorre Show with the Stugatz Podcast. I loved watching the sad Knicks legends, although I don't know why I used quotation marks there, but the sad Knicks legends who were sitting like, like 3, 4 rows up at the game last night.

Are you a legend if you're in the 4th row?

Are you a legend if you never won anything?

Well, they were a legend. If John Starks is wearing that hat.

Trista, your turn.

I think they covered them all.

Well, they were on the road. All right. And, you know, it's like Pat Riley and Alonzo Mourning, they travel for the playoff games, right? And they're always like 4 rows up, you know, like that. That's— those are the seats. Like the Heat, the Heat seats that they give the visiting team's personnel are like 8 rows up behind the visitor bench. That's just the seats that the team, you know, allots for, for people like that.

Have you ever ended up sitting next to like some Brath. I've been like a few seats over before from like—

At a Heat game?

Not at a Heat game, but like at a baseball game where like all of a sudden I'm like, "Oh, that's the GM." It's just interesting to watch. They watch the game just like we do. They watch the game just like we do.

I went to the NBA Cup. It was OKC versus the Spurs, and I sat down. I couldn't find where my— what row it was, 'cause it's like A, and then there's like AA.

Worst.

And I'm like, "Um, excuse me, tap tap, do you know if this is row A or if this is row AA, tap tap?" Sam Presti.

Oh, you had given me owner's box tickets, uh, back when the Marlins were at Joe Ryrie Stadium. Oh, that's right. Yeah, and David Sampson had passed by me. We had never met before. He had no idea who I was. I used to get those seats every now and then.

I was gonna say, that's owner's box seats.

Those were great seats.

Yeah, I was at the Atlanta Dream game one time and the seat— two seats were vacant next to me like the whole game almost. Third quarter, Don Staley.

Wow.

Can I—

I'm out on letter rows, by the way. Can we just do row one and up?

Like, what are we doing with this?

Well, but then what do you want?

Numbers.

If I ever think I have— no, no, no, rows. If I ever think I'm row—

I know, but you want the rows to be numbers and the seats to be numbers?

Yes, I want to know if I'm in row— I don't want like row L. Like, now I'm sitting there like, oh, I feel—

want ABCD.

I got to like count, do the counting in my head. And then sometimes I think I have first row and I show up and AA is front row and A is row like 9, and there's like AA, BB, CC, DD, and then like all of a sudden A picks up at row 9. It makes no sense.

I, I, I gotta be honest. It's a moronic opinion.

What are you talking about? What, what, what is AA? We could just have row 1 and then up to the top.

It's simple.

Why don't we just start -9? Row -9 and then have row 10 be row 1. That's what we're doing.

That would be better.

That's what we're doing with AA. What is AA? What is BB?

Pretty sure it's like—

I don't ever want to be in row CC.

And if it's gonna be A— if it's gonna be AA or BB, it should be ZZ. It should be A, B, C, D, all the way to Z, and then ZZ, you're even higher.

Alpha. Listen, what we don't need are more letters in the alphabet. In fact, let me, let me forward this hot take. I think we could do with one less letter in our alphabet. I don't think— what are we, 26? Which is, is it— 26 is unwieldy. 25 is a little bit cleaner. I think we can agree. I think we dump C. What purpose does the letter C serve? Think it through.

If you want to make—

hell is wrong with you?

It starts both of Chris's names.

My daughter Claire says a big purpose in Los Angeles.

What? Listen, if you want to make a /k/ sound— please, let's not go there. If we want to make a /k/ sound, we got K. K is right there for you.

I was careful you were going to go with /kkk/.

No, no, no, I didn't. I was careful with myself.

Doing it 3 times is a tough look, Dave.

I didn't do it 3 times, friend. I did it twice and only twice.

Okay. Just making sure.

Because I'm a gentleman.

Like pumps after a touchdown.

And then, and then, and then if you need a sound, we have S, that's there. What are you doing, C? Just living off of, you just attached yourself. It's the power of being in the cool group because it's way up there hanging out with the fancy pants is like A and B. And so we look the other way, but C doesn't belong, has no business.

I, years ago, I was in Chicago to see Pearl Jam, believe it or not, and for Lollapalooza. And the Cubs were playing. The Cubs were at home, and I wanted to go see a Cubs game. I'd never been to Wrigley Field. And, uh, uh, my pal Len Casper, former Marlins television guy, uh, back then was the Cubs television guy. And I asked him, you know, uh, you know, can you, can you set me up with some seats? And so he left me seats for, for Wrigley Field. I went by myself to go see the Cubs play, and I get there nice and early. They're like box seats. We're like 5 rows behind home plate. And so I get there, I get to my seat early, I sit down, you know, seats next to me are empty, the people who are occupying them are not here yet. And now, you know, walking out of the tunnel and just like, you know, coming, walking toward, being shown their seats by like the security guard with a whole entourage as well is the Reverend Jesse Jackson. And I immediately see him, I go, "Oh, that's Jesse Jackson," you know?

Rest in power.

And he keeps walking closer and closer, I'm like, "Oh, he's in my section." I'm like, that'd be funny if he's in my row. Sat immediately next to me.

No way.

Talk about the, uh, Rainbow Coalition. So the, the whole game, uh, Jesse Jackson's right next to me watching the Cubs. And like, his security guard, a big guy obviously, was like thrown, you know, behind us. And like, whoever else was his family was next to him. Yeah, the whole game, Jesse Jackson.

Did you camp it with them at all?

Uh, maybe like a little bit, you know, no big— he's there with family or whatever. He's He's talking to them. But it was— wow, they had the whole ballpark here. He's sitting right next to me.

That was at a Chicago Cubs game, spelled S-H-I-K-A-G-O-K-U-B-S, right? That's how you spell Chicago Cubs in Dave Dameshek's world.

No, my ideal, we just get rid of the C. Yeah, well, maybe that's the shortcoming is we do need to solve the C and H sound. We gotta figure that 'cause the S can't really handle that. I don't know what we're gonna do about that. Zaz, that does remind me, ballpark, iconic one, Dodger Stadium. I was there once and who sat directly in front of me? The heavyweight champ of the world one time, he knocked out or he beat Muhammad Ali. Leon Spinks sat directly in front of me and it gave me the opportunity. He stood up once to cheer something and I shouted, Down in front, the champ! It was— I was in heaven. I, I, I, I got— I, I got to shout that at a heavyweight champion. Oh, it was— it was one of the 5 best moments of my life.

I love baseball like the next man, but I think they should get rid of when you strike somebody out, they put the K up, because after 3 strikeouts, it gets sticky up there.

Like when they're putting it over the railing? Well, you'd like one of those, uh, strikeouts to be looking, because then at least you get the backwards K. Yeah, that does help. That does help.

But I, I think maybe just the, the overall morality, maybe warning to every fan who's doing this, just like sort of like how they don't put the 13th floor of an elevator in some places.

Well, when they put just 3—

the 3rd one, when they pull the 4th strikeout.

Well, yeah, like when, when you get that 3rd consecutive K swinging, you're like really rooting for the 4th one to come quick.

Do you know why they use K as the strikeout?

I don't.

It's because the S was already taken— sacrifice.

Damn.

Okay, but why did they use a K? That's why they didn't use an S.

Because, uh, let me look that part up because I just know.

What about SO?

Because from the word struck, he chose the K from the word struck.

Okay. All right.

I do think the letter Q— I do find the letter Q admirable. It's aspirational. Like Q, when you think about it, you think it's like it hangs out with like W, X, Y, and Z. But look it up. It's, it's when we weren't paying attention, it slid all the way up there past R, S, and T even. Like, it's like it kind of in the middle of the alphabet. If its ascent continues, watch yourself, C. It's going to be A, B, Q if you ain't careful with yourself.

Roy, it is your time to shine. It is your moment now. Can you tell us a little bit about Roy's video of the day?

I can't.

All right, Roy, this is his video of the day here. Let's see what he's got cooking for us.

This is right up Roy's alley here.

Roy, why don't you tell us what we got here?

We got what looks like— I'll take it.

Yeah, go ahead, Chris.

Take—

yeah, go toe wrestling.

Why is this up my ass?

Instead of like thumb wrestling, like a thumb war, they're gonna do it with the big toes.

Oh wow, okay. All right, so there you go.

This is 1, 2, 3, 4.

Oh, they interlock the toe, the big toes, and— oh my God, is it like submission? How do you win?

She got 3 Chainz on the shirt, I see that. Salute.

All right, well, there you go.

This is right up your alley.

Oh no, feet guy. Good choice, white woman's feet. Foot. He's a foot. Foot. Foot. Well, she's, she's doing a lot.

Donna Kelce in the background there.

We just—

I think I just saw Donna Kelce.

All right, who won?

If this were men doing it, I would, I would throw up, and I don't mean that figuratively. I would literally throw up all over the, the thing. It's why I can't watch MMA. But women, you're into the bare feet? I'm not into that either, but she should turn her hat back.

Chris's wife is over the top, you know, and that, that gives you like an edge. Yeah. Uh, all right, so let's keep that— we'll keep that, uh, in the picture-in-picture for those, uh, who would like to continue seeing Roy's— enjoying Roy's video of the day. Excellent choice today, Roy. I had nothing to do with it. Give me your thoughts here before we get back to the football from last night. So I mentioned how you got the Houston Rockets and the LA Lakers playing Game 3 tonight, and Jabari Smith. All right, now I want you to hear what Jabari Smith had to say about Kevin Durant's struggles. Kevin Durant missed Game 1. Durant then returned in Game 2. He had 9 turnovers. And the Lakers specifically have been great defensively this season against Kevin Durant. But you'll also remember, and this is why people are noticing this here, on Kevin Durant's burner earlier this season, and we all know now that like that was Kevin Durant's burner, okay? Because Durant has like not been tweeting at all this the way that he used to, right? Since that whole episode. He hasn't been doing the back and forth with fans, but on that burner account, Durant had some really not nice things to say about Jabari Smith.

Well, here's Jabari Smith. This is yesterday talking about Kevin Durant's struggles.

They're trying to stop him and other guys got to be aggressive. We got to be aggressive out of it. We got to make the right reads out of it, make the right decisions. And, and it's on him to find ways to get himself involved in and get to his spots without the, you know, excluding double team. Just because he's getting double teamed, we still need him to, you know, be KD. So, you know, there's still ways around it, and, uh, we got some fixes to it, and we go— we're gonna be better next two games.

It's interesting, a really young player talking about a legendary player that way, right?

And if you know, you know what KD's burner called my boy, so that's on par.

I didn't think he was very smart.

Yeah, right, right. But I think bigger than that, though, In the year of our Lord 2026, Luke Kinnard is averaging 25 points this playoff series in 40 minutes. Like, this is the problem. KD can be whoever he want to be if y'all don't get back on defense and guard LeBron, which makes him one of the best. This is what makes him the best, because he's facilitating and making everybody shine better and brighter on his team, as well as getting his. So I think they got bigger fish to fry, especially from an aging superstar who is clearly injured right now. To expect more from him is kind of nuts.

I mean, if I were KD or Jabari Smith, I'd be embarrassed to not be able to beat the Lakers without Luka too. I mean, but, but you're exactly right, Juju. Luke Kennard is this sort of undercover element of the springtime here in this NBA season. It's amazing.

That—

and by the way, the, the weird— like we've talked about before, in a world of actual atrocious people, the ongoing resentment of LeBron James is because he has an ego and maybe has a little bit of a chip on his shoulder is very weird.

If they—

he gets this series done and can bridge the gap into Luka, and maybe they go on a run, this is one of the great chapters in LeBron's all-time great career.

Hey, it's Mike Ryan, and I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends. Maybe it's NBA game, you get a text, hey, come over, you want to watch the game? And maybe you're like, ah, I don't know, I kind of just wanted to stay home. And then you think about it after your buddy hits you up, and you know just the thing that'll make that regular hang, that regular midweek hang around the basketball game, into a special time, into a Miller Time. That's right, this happened to me just last week. I grabbed a 6-pack of Miller Lite, said I was on my way, and next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations like we're on the coaching staff. Yelling about a missed call, and the game's coming down to the final possession. It was one of those nights that you look around, you take a sip, and you think, yeah, this was the right call, and my friendship's stronger for it. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Going for 2 when you're up by 5, switching the zone when man isn't working, oh, and building your new stadium in the state your team actually plays in. In sports, some things just make sense. You know what else makes sense? Drinking Jägermeister shots, ice cold. Drinking it any other way would be like punting on first down or letting your worst hitter bat first. Or like going for 2 when you're down 3 with a second to go? It wouldn't make any sense! So don't let the team down—when it comes to Jägermeister, drink it cold or don't drink it at all! Jägermeister: Damn that's Cold! Drink responsibly. Jägermeister Liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mast-Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.

Dan Lebatard! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Football! Good ball! Good ball! Stugatz! Good ball! Good ball! Good ball! Good ball! Good ball! Good ball! Good ball! This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz. You know what, that is an excellent segue here, Juju, because Dan, a few days weeks ago claimed that this would— something to the effect of that this would be LeBron's greatest achievement. Now, he also did say that after claiming that LeBron doesn't leave him in awe anymore, there's nothing he does that is awe-inspiring at this point in his career. But Juju, I hear— okay, so let Dan just say it himself. Here's what he was talking about. And I'm saying if he does this, if he wins this series, it's the most impressive thing he's done in his Okay, most impressive thing he's done in his career. Juju, you took offense to this.

Yes, I took great offense because my boy is slaying dragons all day. Excuse me, Chris farted, y'all. But it made me come up with a top 10 things that LeBron has done greater than this since the pandemic, bro. Okay, just since the pandemic? Just since the pandemic. 10? Usually top 5, top 10.

Wow. The pandemic. All right.

So you're leaving out— so, Juju, this even— you're leaving out what is one of the more remarkable things any athlete's ever done, which is drag some of those Cavs rosters. He's leaving—

Dave, he's leaving out the first 16 years of LeBron's career.

Right. What John Elway did with those bum Broncos rosters in the '80s, LeBron did repeatedly with the Cleveland Cavaliers. I'm sorry, Juju. Back to you.

It's all good. Number 10. He reached more playoff wins, 186, than 21 NBA teams. Number 9, he was the main character in Space Jam. They don't just let anybody do that, right? Number 8, he won a bout with sciatica this year. Number 7, He reached 50,000 career points, man. Number 6, he celebrated 12 years of marriage. That ain't easy, man. Number 5, he became the NBA's all-time leading scorer. Pretty impressive. Number 4, excuse me, he and Steph Curry and now the rest of the guys saved Earth and won a gold medal in France. Oui, oui. 3, he won a championship and the Finals MVP. Better than—

that only counts for half.

Number 2, he's still never been arrested or involved in a RICO. And number 1 is impressive. The number 1 most impressive thing he's done is his son threw him an assist in an NBA game.

All right, and again, those are just since 2020. His sperm on the floor with him. Yeah, that's right. Whoa, quite the visual. You know what, and now I'm going to, I'm going to piggyback Juju's top 10 there. I have a top 5 for you. You ready for this? Oh yeah. All right, top 5 playoff performers so far. That's right, this list can be fluid. We can update it next week if we want. I have top 5 NBA playoff performers so far.

Is this where you're getting to Rudy Gobert?

We'll see. No spoilers, alright? I don't do spoilers. Everybody knows that about me. Everybody knows 2 things about me. Not a cuck. Not a cuck. Don't give out spoilers. Alright, you ready for this? Top 5 NBA playoff performers. Number 5, VJ Edgecomb. The rookie had 30 points in a Game 2 road playoff win at the Boston Celtics. That's so— I would imagine there are not very many rookies that scored 30 on the road in a playoff victory. Like, a really— I would imagine it's a really rare list. Rookies who are capable of scoring 30 don't even usually make the playoffs because their teams are terrible.

Because they're on bum team, right? They're, they're the new big piece of bum teams who don't go playoffs. Exactly right.

I'll bet that's a super, super short list. So number 5, Vijay Edgcomb. Number 4, Jonathan Kuminga. He was all over the place last night for the home team Atlanta Hawks. You know, Kuminga, he's— Steve Kerr, Steve Kerr couldn't, couldn't find any minutes for Jonathan Kuminga. Jonathan Kuminga was the best player on the floor last night that beat the New York Knicks And Steve Kerr looks at his bench and says, you know what? All these options are better than Kaminga. You're not going to play. And then you got Dunleavy, who doesn't— who says there's no market. Of course there's no market. 17 straight games, DNP, coach's decision. And last night, Kaminga in a starting role for Atlanta. He's number 4. Number 3, Rudy Gobert. I told you I was going to get to Rudy Gobert, Dave Dameshek. Rudy Gobert. Look, you gotta give him credit. He's very easy to make fun of. He started COVID. He's got a lot working against him, all right? And last night he shut down Nikola Jokic. Jokic was 7 for 26 last night. Gobert was taking his lunch money all night long. Number 3, Rudy Gobert. Number 2, another Atlanta Hawk.

CJ McCollum. It's been amazing this series. Games 1, 2, and 3. It's been awesome. I mean, they— it's one thing that they got better because they got rid of Trae Young, but one of the guys they got in return for him has been their best player this series.

If you're a Knicks fan, it's got to be so annoying that like Trae Young giving you a reason to hate him is is fine because he's pretty hateable to watch and he like leans into it. But CJ McCollum is doing it in this like uber professional way. He's a sweet guy. Everybody likes him. And then he's killing you and it's the same franchise. It's got to be infuriating.

You know, a fun fact about them two, Trae Young, CJ McCollum, same birthday. Oh no. Yep. Bad news.

That's all right. That's weird. And number one, Top 5 playoff performers so far, LeBron James. Oh my God. And see, this is because I'm a very fair man, alright? There's 2 things about me everybody knows. One, I'm not a cuck. Number 2, I'm a very fair man. And LeBron James has definitely been the number 1 playoff performer so far. He's been incredible. I'm not going to say that it's his greatest accomplishment if they win a first-round series, a first-round series that they do have home-court advantage in, alright? But nonetheless, the praise is going to be like pretty overwhelming if the Lakers wind up winning this series. LeBron's been the number one playoff performer. There you have it. That's the top 5 playoff performers so far. I love it, but that's looking in the rearview mirror.

I turn now to you, Zazz, and to Trista, and to Juju. Weigh in here. Anybody else too. What will that look like? Look into the crystal ball now. A fortnight from now, what will, what will that top 5 look like? Oh, I mean, give us, give us 2 weeks from today what that top 5 best NBA playoff performance.

So 2 weeks from today we'll be getting to like game 4 of the first round series, right?

Listen, we can't do this. Like, this list is fugazi. Whoa, it's a fugazi. Find a way to backpedal. What? Before I say who has been speciously left off this list that I feel like is direct slander. We need to just kind of call out Zazz for finding a way to somewhat backpedal. How many— it's just a way to be like, oh well, you, you said the Lakers wouldn't win a game, and so that's right, of course, of course LeBron has to be the top because it was something that counter, uh, you know, dictated your take.

No, being wrong on wrong is the worst thing you could do. I could admit that I was wrong about the Lakers. I got to be fair. Didn't admit it. I did admit— no, I didn't say I'm sorry. I'm not going to say I'm sorry. What would I be saying I'm sorry about?

He said he's a man of honor, and that's enough for me to say— to go like that. I always live by one of my codes. My creed in life is one I stole from Jerry Orbach, the late, great— at the end of Dirty Dancing, he says to the late, great Patrick Swayze, when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong. And that's, I feel like, what Zazz did.

Can we just talk about that?

He's taken to task. But you're being taken to task by mid-'70s Ally McGraw in those sunglasses.

That's got to be intimidating. Dave, can we just talk about that, about Jerry Orbach for a second here? He said he's— No! When he's wrong, he's wrong. He was 1,000% right in Dirty Dancing. You got a guy who looks like Patrick Swayze, he's got to be 30-something years old, and he's doing dirty dancing with like his 15-year-old daughter. Jerry Orbach was right. He was right the whole time.

Wildly inappropriate. Why? Because— oh, wait, wait, wait. This creepo putting his mitts all over my teenage daughter taught her to dance good. All is fine then. And he's doing the— what the hell?

Why, why, why, why, why? To America. Juju, put it on the poll. Was Jerry Orbach in Dirty Dancing right about Baby? Back to the Fugazi.

Why is Scoot Henderson not on this list? Scoot Henderson, 31 points, 11 for 17 from the field, 5 for 9 from 3, 1 steal, 1 block, only 2 turnovers. Had his best game of his career. They slayed the team that everybody thinks is up next, that they're the next Oklahoma City Thunder, and he was at the center of that. He was a key piece of the defense. He was that guy. You need to take Jonathan Kuminga off the list. That's just because we're surprised that he's doing this. If Scoot's not on this top 5, I mean, this is just a foo-gazy list.

Dan Le Batard. I've never stepped foot on that campus. If you told me right now your life depends on it, go to Santa Fe University and just, just, just take a picture. Stugatz. I would die. I don't know where it is. This is the Dan Le Batard Show with the Stugatz.

We gotta go back. Zazz is pissing off the white people. Dwork, what'd he get wrong?

Well, you're talking about Dirty Dancing and Jerry Orbach saying, when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong. He's not talking about Patrick Swayze when he says that. He's talking about the other guy that was banging his other daughter that got the other girl pregnant, that they had the whole abortion deal. You don't come at Zazzlo about Dirty Dancing. Come on, guys. This is Dirty Dancing. This is— come on.

Dwork, beat it. Because Zazzlo is 100% right here.

No, he's not right at all. He's wrong about who?

He's not talking about Patrick Swayze. Who— I understand they're talking about who put the baby in the lady and all of that. I, I get it, but that's a misdemeanor compared to, like, think globally and act locally. This is his daughter, his, his 15-year-old, uh, little chair. It was the '60s, it was okay back then. This creepo and this greaser in the leather jacket is such a greaser daughter.

Such a greaser. Why, guys? Why, why, why, why, why? The Hockey Show later today.

Wait, did you call me— I totally didn't even realize. Did you call me mid-'70s Ali McGraw in my glasses?

I did. I did. Yeah, I did. That's a compliment, though. Fightin' words. Fightin' words? She was married to McQueen. What are you talking about? What's cooler than that? I wish I would have been married to Steve McQueen, even for a little— put it on the poll.

Do you wish you had been married to Steve McQueen?

Um, but Trista, actually, I think he was maybe a little, uh, yeah, he maybe wasn't a great guy some of the time. But either way, Trista, to try to make things right, even though that was intended as a compliment, um, go ahead. 2 weeks from today, who's number 1 on that list? Best playoff performer in these NBA playoffs.

I mean, so 2 weeks from today, we're probably late in this— in the late in the second round. Yeah, can we be in the late in the second round? Does that sound accurate?

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

I'm gonna go ahead and say Shegil Just-Alexander will be on that list. I'm gonna go ahead and say maybe Damian Lillard's on that list.

Get out of here! Stay off the weed, sis.

We're getting a lot of homer accusations. You might be more blizzard-pilled than I'm heat-pilled.

Scoot ahead.

I get Damian Lillard now. Now, Dan will be proven correct if even 2 weeks from today— forget about getting to the Finals or anything else— if LeBron still— if there's a good case to be made that he's number 1 on the list still 2 weeks from today, now Dan Levitard's on to something. This might be the greatest chapter in LeBron's career.

I'll tell you what, so last night the Wolves beat the Nuggets, they go up 2 games to 1. Wolves-Nuggets, like Jaden McDaniels again after the game just talking all kinds of crap about the Nuggets. I love it because it reminds me of what the NBA playoffs were like when I was growing up, where these teams all hated each other instead of kissing and hugging all the time. I love when they're hating each other, like Jaden McDaniels, but, uh, after game 2, and then after Game 3, just talking about how, you know, that team, they bring out the best in us, we don't like them, we don't like the jerseys, all that stuff. This is a sneaky, although maybe not so sneaky anymore, Dave, sneaky great rivalry, the Nuggets and Wolves. And it's weird because, I don't know, it was like a few years ago, this rivalry, like, no one would have said Nuggets-Wolves. Who gives a shit?

Serendipity that you would bring this up, Zazz. Who could have seen this coming? Yes. Uh, we talk about this on Football America today— rivalries, the best rivalries that didn't exist 20 years ago. If there are two things anybody knows about Jonathan Zaslow, it's that he's not a cuck and he loves his rivalries. Now, most rivalries, um, started before we walked the big blue marble, but there are some good ones. Like I say, like Heat and Knickerbockers is even too old for this list. That's more like you know, 35-ish years old. But yes, Nugs and T-Wolves is way up on the list. And down in Florida, in the Sunshine State, if people are still watching hockey, you've got one of, one of the probably 3 best of the 21st century, right?

I'm being told here, Dave, that this is a reheated turf turd from Football America, even though I like this topic. Is this a heated turd? It is.

See if you can figure out what the best one is. What's it— what is the best rivalry that didn't exist 20 years ago? Heated rivalry. Is it football? I think yes, although there's a pretty good one. A, it's either NFL or us or no, let's go. Something that is not common to it. Well, it's— I'll just say it's the Olympics. It's the one is the Olympics. One is NFL.

Yeah. All right. So let's do NFL. All right. So best rivalry in the NFL right now. That wasn't a thing. What are we— how many years ago we talking about? 20 years ago. 20 years ago. Oh, literally nonexistent.

Nobody. I mean, nobody lives— Bill's Chiefs. These two teams are hooking up once again. That's a great one. I feel like that's more like a three-headed thing. Lamar and Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes. It is. It's the Seahawks and Niners. We've been living in it for so long that I think we just assume it's a part of, um, of the last half century. But they, they barely had even played each other. The conference, the conference switch. Yeah, right. It's because the Seattle Seahawks, right, when the Houston Texans—

yeah, well then, and like, yeah, Seahawks switch conference early 2000, right?

2002, they switch over, uh, to accommodate them. And that's a fun what-if to play too, is who else could they have moved, um, besides the Seattle Seahawks. But the other big one up there Roy is Canada versus the US in hockey. It has replaced— it has replaced the US and the Soviet Union in hockey and basketball.

Yeah. Knicks-Hawks, you feel me? Definitely a rivalry. Heat-Nicks, I think could be.

It started in '97. More Heat-Celtics, honestly.

Titans-Jags on Thursday Night Football.

Ooh, that's a good one. Oh yeah, Texans, uh, Colts.

By the way, speaking of the Seahawks, the last Miami Dolphins road playoff win, Seattle Seahawks. That's right, both teams AFC back then, the old kingdom.

Dave, crap, that's the— wait a second, I think I wrote this somewhere intellectually, but I don't think I really absorbed it. The last time the Dolphins won a playoff road playoff. Road, road playoff. Oh, right, right, right. Because I do remember the one, the, the Colts game.

Lamar Smith ran for like 500 yards.

Lamar Smith, I was just about to say.

Yeah, who— imagine if you ran 500 yards. Women's basketball road one.

Yeah, okay, okay. All right.

Yeah, well, South Carolina versus UConn now.

Big Smoke Cullen Bryant had a big game for the Seahawks against the Dolphins, if memory serves.

It was, uh, it was Marino's last playoff victory. The very next week he lost 62-7 7 at the Jaguars.

Oh, against Warren Moon, right?

Uh, no, Kitna.

All right, I don't know anything I'm talking about. Just fill in all the blanks. So, so wait, Kitna defeated— so Marino vanquished Kitna and then got housed on his way out the door?

That's right, that's right. Now you know everything. Yep.

People don't talk nearly— I mean, people obsess over that the Cowboys, America's alleged team, doesn't make any hay in the playoffs anymore. But man, like, we've discussed before, and I'll say again, the Dolphins, the signature franchise, not just in pro football but really an iconic brand in, in these United States. Yeah, being so irrelevant for so long is real weird.

Speaking of the Cowboys, big bro, what do you make of them franchising George Pickens and not deciding to trade him last night? Is he going to be on the move, or is this like a prove-it deal? Because he's known to be like a hothead. And this could be one of the situations that, oh, he ain't getting his money, he gonna pout. So maybe if he don't pout this year, it maybe can set him up for a big payday next year. Is that the thinking, or what do you think about that, bro?

Well, it's funny that the Steelers traded him away because the former coach Mike Tomlin, his, the, his greatest virtue, um, allegedly was being able to deal with any personality, getting any personality in line on Sundays to, to be his best version of himself playing football. But they couldn't handle him, so they traded him to Dallas even though they didn't have a second wide receiver. They traded for DK Metcalf and then immediately shipped out George Pickens, which was senseless in a contract year. And that's the important detail, Juju, is that George Pickens, as I said one year ago around this time, whatever his behavior issues are, that he, that he gets immature sometimes saying, perhaps somebody around him, if not the man in the mirror, his agent or his family, would get in George Pickens' ear and say, one good season, one good season of behavior sets you up for the next 100 years. You and your family will be rich people for the next century if you just put out one good season. And so he did. But now the bellyaching and everything else, I don't know. I wouldn't want to be the Cowboys right now.

That's a tough spot As soon as you sign him to a long-term deal, there is a decent chance that, uh, that he does revert to, I want the ball, I want the ball, I want the ball. That's not a great thing on the same team as CeeDee Lamb. Um, I think you let him do what I advocated the Steelers to do, which is tag him and then let him go about his business for the rest of his life after this season.

Such a funny way to look at it. Can you behave for one year? 'Your rest of your life is going to be so good if you could behave for one year.' Wait, someone would say that to me?

I'll behave for one year. I'd be awesome.

Awesome. Be awesome, right? Uh, last night before the draft began, they tried to sweep it under the rug with the 12:30 AM news dump the night before. Mike Vrabel then had to come out and have another press conference just minutes before the draft. I do want to play this clip from the draft last night. Mike Greenberg kind of grilled Roger Goodell. Like, you know, Diana Rossini obviously lost her job. She resigned. All right. And what kind of punishment, if any, could there be for Mike Vrabel? And you could say, hey, like, why would he be punished? You know, well, apparently, like, the NFL does have a policy where it's like a conduct detrimental policy that could fall under the league's, uh, you know, conduct rules, and he could be in trouble. So here is a full-on explanation from Roger Goodell last night.

I'm going to ask you about the situation with Mike Vrabel and the Patriots. He has announced that he will not be with the team on Saturday. He'll be instead with his family and plans to seek counseling. Um, the, the league has suggested this is not a violation of the personal conduct policy.

I want to make sure that I'm getting That exactly right.

So as of this point, based upon what you know right now, this does not feel like a situation for the league to become involved?

No, this is not a personal conduct policy as we know of today. Um, it's a personal matter and we'll leave it at that.

Is that the kind of thing that typically you would talk with the team about? The Patriots seem to be handling that. Just think a lot of fans would wonder what, if any, role the NFL would have in something like that.

I think, uh, I think the teams handle these matters when they're personal matters and they handle it, they have a lot more information that can benefit everyone involved.

I'm not sure anyone would have a problem with what he said there. It feels like it's a team thing. Like, is the team upset that he's, you know, potentially leaking information to reporters? Like, that's a team thing. Like, the NFL doesn't care if you're giving away team secrets to reporters. Maybe the team does. So, uh, I mean, Dave, any objection to what the commissioner—

oh, I did. I disagree with you as a matter of fact. By the way, Who does counseling on a Saturday? Who— that, that immediately is weird. Maybe it's cheaper. Um, people who don't go to counseling. Yeah, yeah, right, exactly. Um, I disagree. I think this has transcended the Patriots. I mean, this would seem to go back, you know, 5 or 6 years at this point. And if that's the case, then what information did Mike Vrabel get from, from an insider, right? I mean, I I don't think it's as simple as it's a moral issue for a head coach, what he does when he's not at the facility. I got that explanation a week ago. If it was an ongoing relationship, what, they didn't have conversations? They didn't— they didn't talk about what else is going down in the NFL?

Come on. But is that not okay? Like, let's say the reporter in this case, Diane Rossini, was giving the head coach of the Titans or Patriots information. Is— hey, yo, is that not okay?

You know, it seems like at least the— it feels like that you would be able to provide a little extra, right? Yeah. You would be a little more motivated to share every detail instead of like, I know I got a bunch of little secrets about pro football going on right now. You might leave out one of those. You wouldn't you wouldn't hide them. You wouldn't hide anything, right? Right.

But I guess what I'm saying is that's that right there. That scenario to me sounds like a coach who is really smart and he's fostering a relationship, not necessarily as detailed as this one might be, but having good relationships with reporters, so much so that reporters are going to give you information about other teams. Like, that may be— like, you may think the reporter's being shady and providing that kind of information, but I'm not sure how that's like conduct detrimental, right?

I guess I would feel a certain way if I was talking to an insider. You know, I guess that's the whole thing about gossiping about people behind their back. You think you can do it about everybody, but they're not doing it to you kind of thing. But this has a professional element to it with multi-millions of dollars on the line with all that. And I think I probably wouldn't be happy if I had spoken to an insider, a newsbreaker, and somehow I felt like that information got passed on to Mike Rabel. Sure, I'd be upset by that.

What we didn't talk about in all of this is that Badlands was the 21st song played out of 27. I mean, the lyrics in that one—

poor man want to be rich, rich man want to be king, and the king ain't satisfied till he rules everything.

That was an awkward transition.

Hey, it's Mike Ryan, and I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends. Maybe it's an NBA game, you get a text, hey, come over, you want to watch the game? And maybe you're like, ah, I don't know, I kind of just wanted to stay home. And then you think about it after your buddy hits you up, and you know just the thing that'll make that regular hang, that regular midweek hang around the basketball game, into a special time, into a Miller Time. That's right, this happened to me just last week. I grabbed a 6-pack of Miller Lite, said I was on my way, and next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations like we're on the coaching staff, yelling about a missed call, and the game's coming down to the final possession. It was one of those nights that you look around, you take a sip, and you think, yeah, this was the right call, and my friendship's stronger for it. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

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