Transcript of Alley Oop 178: Is Alperen Sengun Overhyped? Rockets Offense Issues, LeBron at 41 & Luka OUT?!

Welcome back to the Alley Oop. I am Juju Gotti. That is construction. It's gonna happen, so deal with it. Joined as always by my sister Trista Crick. How are you doing in the MIA?

Yo, well, I got a nap in, Juju, which was clutch. I saw that you guys went to the Miami Heat store and picked up some swag. Very jealous. I got my Orlando Magic gear from the KISS Spot just in case they put it on the Detroit Pistons, which they did not. Still wore it anyway. Woo! But I'm excited to talk hoops.

So let's get right into it then. You speak about these Orlando Magic. Orlando Magic, Orlando Magic. Play the song. Orlando Magic.

Hey!

Bro, they— I mean, they got the job done. They went to Detroit, got a win. What else do you need from them, especially as ass as they were smelling right before this thing started? So do you think they got a shot to win this series? Is it too late? Is Franz Wagner gonna finally wake up? What's— what you think about that series right there?

Well, I think, Juju, what you need is just a lot more from Paulo. You need to be able to get 25 out of him. You didn't get that in Game 2. You need to get something, something out of Franz Wagner. Didn't get much out of him. You need to get something good out of Desmond Bain. Desmond Bain has been buns, cheeks, duck butter in this series. The only player that they've relied on is Jalen Suggs. And so you— it's basically like which role players are going to show up, and we'd never know that. It's hard to— almost impossible to predict which of the others for these two teams are gonna come out and shoot the lights out, or at least shoot 25% from 3, which is about what these teams seem like they're capable of. Um, so I think this could be a dogfight. We got two more games in Orlando, and I think that they come out with one of them, and we go back to Detroit 2-2.

Mm, tutu, bruh. You know who was about to tutu his ass onto my shit list? Jalen Duren. Jalen Duren.

No, it's Jalen.

One of these, bruh. Luckily you woke up in that second half, bruh, cause boy, I had some tweets ready for you. I had some takes ready for you, bruh, especially going against who you know you're going against, and you already know who watching. So I'm glad to see you got your lick back last night. Thank God. But moving forward, man, I think like you say, every game gonna be his own movie. Like, what's gonna happen here? Because once Franz— bro, please come to the— Franz, where are you at? You might as well sit back down with all this because we were doing good with D-Bang at the helm. If— Paulo, I love you, bro, but, uh, Jamal Cain can give us what you're giving us right now. So I think that the magic They gonna get it together, hopefully, especially for their coach's sake. As a matter of fact, if the Magic win the championship, the coach is getting fired the next day still. I think you're right.

I think it's a wrap because all of the rumors are that Paolo doesn't want him there. And you saw that him and JB Bickerstaff are like, is it just me? They like have coached with one another and they were saying the same things in their huddle. They were like, yeah, they're getting too— oh yeah, Orlando's getting too many second chance points, too many offensive rebounds. Go over to Jamal Mosley, good job guys, we're getting all the offensive rebounds. So I think he's up out of there.

I think, um, my boy is gone. He's out of here. See, what's that Wiz Khalifa song about Paul Walker? See you when I get there, or see you? Oh yeah.

It's been a long time without you, my friend.

There it is, bro. My boy, uh, yeah, Dylan Brooks used his vocal cords last night. He used his vocal cords as well as Devin Booker, bro, to complain about these punk-ass referees, bro. And you know what, I usually don't want to hear that from the loser in the game. But bro, some of these plays, man, was just absolutely ridiculous, bro. Chet Holmgren getting calls that Devin Booker can't get on the other end. Damn near superstar calls. Alex Caruso snitching to the ref, telling him to call the tech, and the ref called the tech after he listened to Alex Caruso, bro. I, I mean, of course the Suns don't have a chance, but going forward as well as J-Dawg went down with a hammy. Are the OKC Thunder gonna continue to get this type of whistle at this clip, or are we gonna get some referee crew to finally put the foot down, man?

It's crazy. When did they start getting this whistle comprehensively? Was it this year, do you think?

I think it was this year, bro. For sure.

They're the most unlikable. They're very Memphis Grizzlies but with the winning, you know what I mean? Like circa Ja Morant 2018, 2019. So you're talking about like, you know, we're the bad boys now, we're coming up, we're fine in the West. But like, they actually have a championship. Very unlikable team while also being very likable. Like, I think Shea Gildress-Alexander is really fun. He's clearly very humble, right? Journeys in his journey is inspirational. Like, he gets the fits off, you know. You've got Jalen Williams who has his own thing. You got Isaiah Hartenstein. All of them individually, kind of like a Marvel movie, like individually it's like, yeah, I like the Hulk. Yeah, I like Iron Man, but I don't fuck with the Avengers. To your point though, I do think they're going to continue to get these calls. I think they have somehow cornered the market like La Cosa Nostra, uh, and they're like, listen, listen, refs, you're on our payroll now. We pay you 20 racks a month, right, right, all throughout our team. So you're gonna call these techs. When Alex Russo says call the tech, you call the effing tech.

You call that effing tech, bro. Moving on to another series, and I've never— this is a sentence right here I'm about to say. KD's burner is about to be reactivated. Like, bruh, watching that Houston Rockets team, for some reason, bruh, I'm so sorry. Besides his use of certain words, besides the burner's use of certain words while calling people those words, bro was spot on, man. I ain't gonna just point the lie out. Show me the lie. Because Shangun, boy, bruh, you about to piss me off. I ain't gonna hold you. 10 missed layups, bruh, in an important, important playoff game, bro. Y'all boys down 0-2 to the Lakers without Luka, and you out here missing layups. And you got half your hair faded. How about that? Let's start there. You got one fade on this side and a damn, uh, Wesley Snipes Demolition Man on the other side, bruh. Wake up, Alperen Shangun. Wake up. Like Sam— oh, Lawrence Fishburne told them folk to do, man. Wake up, bro, because you're messing it up. You got a prime opportunity to show these folks, man, we are a great team, my coach is great. And they so goofy, bro.

Are the Houston Rockets the goofiest team in the playoffs right now?

Um, good question. I can't tell if I feel bad for them Because let's be real, yeah, they have no point guard, literally zero. The point guard that they thought that they were going to have obviously tore his ligament up to start the season. Literally signed an extension and 10 days later he tore his stuff up. Okay, so then you're like, is it going to be Amund Thompson or is it going to be Reed Shepard? And it's like, well, we'll play around with both. And it's like, you really didn't. And neither one of them worked great. And then you end up having KD bring the ball up, which, like, that's fine for a few possessions, but not ideal. You really want to take the ball out of his hands so that he can, I don't know, not get blitzed a bajillion times, right? That's that. And then you're like, okay, well, we got this double big lineup thing working. It's actually like fire. And then that guy, Steven Adams, goes down. And he's not— so you don't have no center, you don't have no point guard. Kevin Durant gets his knee— he, he bangs knees and he's out for a game of the playoffs.

Like, what the hell? What the hell? You got, uh, my guy Tari Eason hasn't hit his shot since the All-Star break. You know, Jabari Smith is the only one out here doing anything, and Ime Udoka is doing his best to throw all these players under the bus. Well, we know goddamn well that Neil Long is telling people, I just want to have fun, and I make them sign NDAs. And it's like, you did this.

First of all, bro, what the hell Neil Long got to do with Shang-Chi and them looking ass?

Oh yeah, and Shang-Chi sucks. We've already established that Shang-Chi's not that guy. And for anyone, AKA Kevin Mays, who was like, you would rather take Danny Avdija over Shengun? Yes. Why? Because he's not missing 10 free throws in a freaking playoff game and doesn't have the Andrew Tate, uh, lineup.

Boom, roasted. And if that wasn't bad enough, bro, did you see my boy pump faking the other night? Shengun, boy, who in the hell Do you think you fool— hey man, bro, hey, that's almost triggered me. I just— I knew the video was coming. Look at Luka on the bench. Okay, you do that pump fake. Luka like, boy, watch Luka, boy. Gone. Ain't nobody worried about that. Who are you pump faking, bro? Yourself. That's who you pump faking. You pump faking your family, my future, and Liberty. How about that? You pump faking us. Get him out of my TV screen forever. I hope they lose. I'm— there we go. I'm gonna just say it.

No, truthfully, you know, for people who love the chaos of the NBA offseason, there will be no— there will be no party and no offseason quite like if the Houston Rockets lose to the LA Lakers with a 41-year-old LeBron James. I don't know how old Marcus Smart is, but I know he's got grays coming in, and it's been a while since he wore the gray— the green hair. And it's been a while since he was in peak form. I don't know about you, but there's no Austin Reeves, there's no Luka Dončić. We got Dominatin' out here ballin' on a freakin' buyout contract. It's insane.

I'm about to throw up.

It's insane. We got Luke Kennard getting used by JJ Redick like he's literally JJ Redick's avatar and he's like, this is the shit I thought. Dallas should have done for me, I'm gonna do it for this JJ Redick-ass player. I can put the ball on the ground. I'm more than a spot-up shooter.

Speaking of Dallas though, bro, I do think, however, they need to get on the phone with Dallas this offseason. Look, you take this half of Demolition Man head-ass and give us Kyrie. Matter of fact, you want Reed Shepard? You want— who you want over here? Don't get Kevin Durant and don't touch, uh, hey man, have at it, Hoss. Like, just give us Kyrie, bro, or John Morant, whoever can fit in that, that, that space. I prefer Kyrie because, you know, the police, but they need some kind of guard. But what you think they should do moving forward next year?

That's a phenomenal—

I don't got no hope for him.

Kyrie's a phenomenal pick. I don't know if Dallas wants to loosen the reins on him. I feel like I feel like they're like, oh yeah, Cooper Flagg, whoever we get in the draft this year, and Kyrie is fire. You still got Klay there-ish. I'm not really sure if Klay's sticking around. Uh, PJ's still there, Daniel Gafford's still there, Derek Lively's still there. With a healthy Kyrie, a Cooper Flagg ballin', and like, who knows what they end up doing in the lottery and where they move up to. Could be, could be kind of a nice, interesting squad. Um, I think that will be a tough sell for Houston to be able to get Ky. Although I do think reuniting Kevin Durant and Kyrie to see what they can actually achieve together, since we never really got to see that fully, would be nice. Oh, speaking of which, maybe if the Cleveland Cavaliers flame out, they can get James Harden too.

They're not. I'm glad you bought Cleveland Cavaliers. Then I get them, it's over with. But at the same time, uh, I forgot my brother, uh, whoever wrote me in a hate tweet on Twitter for not talking about the Raptors more. Look at it, down 0-2. Fancy seeing you here. F'n 2. Exactly, I told you, boy, win a game and we'll talk about them boys. Until then, the Celtics lost to the Sixers the other night. Is that more on the Celtics' game plan with them damn threes, or do the Sixers have a little something-something in the tank right now?

How do you contextualize that Joe Mazzulla probably is gonna win Coach of the Year, that Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum are playing the best basketball of their entire lives? Derrick White still is one of the best defenders in the league, and yet somehow this offense is fucking broken.

Welcome back, you feel me? Because that's all I be telling folk, bro. The Celtics look good as they want to all season, man. I'm a fan, I'm, I'm with them. I know how that game go. Yes, they look brilliant in the regular season, but But here we are when stuff matters, and up, lo and behold, 53s. Okay, we gonna do this again, Joe Mazzulla? I don't give a damn about you looking at me crazy with your little meerkat-looking ass, bruh. Stop— tell them folks to stop shooting them damn threes. Like, what's the problem? Jason Tatum, bruh, can't nobody out here guard you. You shooting a fadeaway 3-pointer from the logo, bruh. Bruh, come sit by me if you shoot one more of them.

Did Juju just like Somehow, like, did we just witness the transformation of Juju into the Besmircher? Because that meerkat-looking ass was so— was so, so much of a stray. It caught me by surprise and delighted me.

This is what happens, bro. When you talk about the Blazers, I feel like it's more passion come out. When I talk about these damn Celtics, they are embarrassing me. Don't get the hell up, bro. Look, salute to Vijay Edgecomb though, because he had a phenomenal game. That's worth talking about. Salute to Tyrese Maxey dropping a 44, bro. Don't put— don't put 44 back in the game. How about that? No more. I don't care. I don't care if we up 20, down 30. Nah, bro. Matter of fact, let me breathe. We're gonna be right back after these messages. I need a break. I'm sorry. Welcome back. Sorry about that. I needed to a cigarette and a little bathroom break because when we talk about the Celtics, I get— I don't know, I get flustered. But moving on, man, Timberwolves versus Nuggets. Oh my goodness gracious, the Timberwolves are always a thorn in the Nuggets' ass. Is it more of the same this year, or are the Nuggets gonna find a way?

I think that it's a bad matchup, Juju. I really do. I feel like when you have J. McDaniels in his hoodie Saying, listen, none of these guys can defend. All of them are— here's who— here's our game plan of who we go after. We go directly at Jokic, we go directly at Jamal Murray, we go directly at, uh, Aaron Gordon, we go directly at Tim Hardaway Jr., we go directly at— who was the other ones? And they're like, so everybody's ass on defense. He's like, Yeah, everybody.

Yeah, you heard me.

I've never heard that. And it really could have been like, woke up this morning, got yourself a gun in the back, you know what I mean?

Yeah, bro, that's why I love the Timberwolves so much, bro. My East Coast team is the Celtics, my West Coast team is the Timberwolves, even though they're in Central America, just because of stuff like this, bro. The postgame interviews, no matter what They always going up, man. Ant-Man gonna cuss every two words and act like he's saying regular words. Jaden McDaniels, he cool. Julius Randle, you ain't even gotta say nothing, bro.

They got Dante DiVincenzo. I told him you got gorilla balls. Yeah, that's not okay in this setting.

But is this okay? Because Julius Randle, hey, lock my boy down the other night as much as he could. I think it was more so Rudy go bear. But is this— have you ever seen this defense method? I call this the coochie coo.

The coochie coo.

Ticklish? You ticklish? Ain't it? Come on, is this good defense or is my boy going crazy out there, man?

You know what it was like when it'd be like, um, ah, quit it, ah, quit it, ah, quit it, ah. Where it's like, does this hurt? Does this hurt? Does this hurt? Does this hurt? Yeah, I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not— Julius Randle is an absolute menace.

Yeah, bro, I always thought, bro, if it was a real deal, like, fight— I'm in a real deal fight, life or death type— and the person I'm fighting get me down and just start tickling me to death, bro, I don't know, bro. That might be worse than punching me in the face, bro. Stop, just get out. Stop, stop, bro. Somebody get it. Get your homeboy. So yeah, bro, maybe he's on to something with this tickle method, man.

Who wins this series?

My heart says Timberwolves, but my brain says the Nuggets because they have the Joker. Who you think?

I can't call it Juju. I do think it goes 7 though.

You went the HOE route. Moving on though to your boys, man. Even the series, my boy Ja was on the ground though, unfortunately. Salute, get well soon. But Blazers back in it, game 3, no t-shirts. What you think, who gonna take it?

First and foremost, not enough is being said about the real appreciation we need to have for a star in the making who was a part of conversations to be a number 1 overall pick in high school. Scoot Henderson, at his best game, he had 5 for 9 threes. He was very disruptive defensively. He was just all over the floor, and you could tell he was putting his fingerprints everywhere. Number 2, Toumani Camara. You traded for him by moving on from Yusuf Nurkic. That was part of the Dame package when you got Grayson Allen to the Phoenix Suns.

Yeah.

He hit 2 crucial threes down the stretch. Literally, I texted some people that were in the building in San Antonio and I go, what the fuck is Toumani on? Because he's not shooting. He had an open 3 and he just pump faked it like Alperen Şengün. And literally right after that, boom, boom, turned on the jets. 2 crucial threes. Um, and like, Jeremy Grant is still ass. Okay, Danny Abdi is hurt as well. There's something wrong with him. He's playing decoy very clearly. But also, here's the thing, Juju, what people aren't really talking about enough— everybody's focusing on the Wemby injury, and that's a significant one, but Dylan Harper left the game with a thumb injury.

Yeah.

Uh, Harrison Barnes left the game with the wrist injury. Klingin left the game with the hand injury as well. How healthy are these two war-struck teams going to be? I have no idea. Wemby's traveling for Game 3 and Game 4, which we hate to see because we care so much about Wemby's long-term health and safety. I really was hoping he'd stay in a dark room until, I don't know, June, um, for his own health. Yeah, what do you think?

Yeah, I mean, I think that you don't know how to pronounce Toumani's name, so you can't just say Toumani Camara. It's every time you say his name, it's like a DJ saying it, Toumani Camara. That's the only way to say his name. I'm so sorry. So you better work on that. Uh, it makes his 3-pointers and everything he does so much fire if every time you see him, Toumani Camara. Salute. So I think that, like you said, him stepping up, other, uh, the Time Lord, Time Lord, that's the recipe so that Denny ain't got to go to the right every time. I mean, work on that. But at the same time, if everybody clicking, I think Wimby there or not, it's gonna be rough for these Spurs, man. It's not just the lowly Blazers that we all I have gotten so accustomed or so used to, you did. So I'm still taking the Spurs, but it ain't gonna be easy. It ain't gonna be easy at all.

And you might mess around and be 2-2 going back to San Antonio.

You don't want that because then you might mess around and find out.

And Portland's a tough place to play, Juju. Like, truly very loud, very boisterous fan base. They're gonna be mad, they're gonna be hungry, and they're gonna be t-shirtless.

Yeah, it's a tough place to play for them, especially because the showers— hey, you better use your hot water because, hey, we got 5 more minutes of hot water in here. You better get it done, man. I hate to be a visitor in that locker room. But that's gonna do it for another episode of The Alley Oop, man. Any last words on the way out of here, sis?

Wimby, get healthy, get safe, um, take care of yourself, and, uh, stay home.

Mm-hmm. And Joe Mazzulla, we're watching you. Thank you as always to our brother the Distinguished Dylan, as well as Miss Rebecca Donahue. She's off shooting another movie right now. You already know the movie she in, A League of Their Own. Go stream it right now wherever you are. And special thanks to our brother Carl in the building. You dig it? Come on, I'm about to throw Carl government out there, but I don't know if it's the FBI, I don't know who looking for him, but our brother Carl is in the building as well with us. Thank you, brother. And everybody listening, man, without y'all, who the hell are we? Catch us Tuesday on the DLS Hoops channel, same bad time, same bad channel.

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