Transcript of Hour 1: Limited Fake Stephen A. Smith Runs For President

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network.

Hey, folks. It's Mike Ryan, and I need to talk to you about something that I use religiously. Anytime I'm hosting a big dinner party, I want to impress people, and I get food from some of the most iconic famous places in the country. You know what helps me do that? Gold Belly, this amazing site where I order from all the time, where you can get all these amazing foods from all across our great country. They will ship free to your door anywhere in the US of A. Gold Belly will ship you Philly Cheese eggs from Jams or Pat's in Philly. I'm treating my office right now to a cheese steak party from Pat's, courtesy of Gold Belly. And on top of that, I threw in some original Buffalo wings from Anchor Bar in Buffalo. You could get Kansas City's most legendary barbecue from Gold Belly. And if the pizza near you sucks, they will ship you New York style pizza from John's on Blicer or Chicago Deep Dish Pizza from Lou Malnades. I do that all the time or even New Haven or Detroit style pizza. If you are truly gluttonous, though, they will ship you Guy Fiery's famous trashcan nachos, which I kid you not, are the ultimate game day centerpiece.

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This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

So Dan versus Dan was last night? Or Dan and Dan?

I've been seeing photos. Dan Dan asks the last Dan's. I've been calling it. The last one. Whoever wins, we lose, I think. That's the tagline. Is what the Alien versus Predator movie poster used to say. Also applies here, potentially. It went great.

Why are you- Did it? Yes. Did you watch it? I was getting reports the whole night from people on the ground. From who? From Dan? From people on the ground.

No, it was on the stage. There are photos of the crowd, the crowd size, guys. Very big.

That's Dan. There it is.

Dan's melting into the chair with that drive.

The only negative is that we had people in place, and I think that all of you will appreciate this more than I did. Dan showed up pretty much just to get on stage.

Dan Patrick or Dan Levatard?

There was no green room situation. There was no prep. There was no anything. No mingle? No, nothing. Now, after the show, he did major Heet & Greets, major VIP stuff. Okay, all right. No, no, no. But when you're on tour for a show, he did a full... Even Springsteen, Mick Jagger, you're getting there early, you're getting set up. Dan went car stage. That photo is just hilarious. I can't tell where the chair ends and Dan starts.

It's just his head popping out of a chair.

I was just trying to think if that's the outfit he wore to do the show on Tuesday, that he recycled again for Wednesday. But it actually went great. It was sold out. There were a ton of people who got to spend time with Dan after the show.

Which was Dan. Our Dan. Our Dan loves taking photos with the people.

Well, the people love to be with him?

Not really. He doesn't love it. It's just a way to get out of whatever situation he's in. Come take a photo. Okay, now leave.

He doesn't have to talk that way.

Is he? I think he actually loves being with people.

You would rather have 1,000 small talk conversations than one conversation.

He feels the gratification the fans.

No, it's legitimate. At Mas every year, he does this.

Listen to the thing. Dan is genuinely appreciative of the love and support. But also, Dan is the anti-Amin. Amin will go and give someone 15 minutes of show if it behooves him. Dan is like, I don't want to do any show. That's why the photo is such a great opportunity. It's, I gave you the most meaningful interaction possible that also cost me nothing.

Dan will do show with them, but it'll be South Beach sessions, and he'll be like, When have you cried last? Are you in a happy place when you're listening? He really wants to get in there.

Do we know what they talked about?

I just know that...

I like how the one thing we need reporting on is our own company.

Which we don't have clips on for some reason.

I could tell you what Kevin Durant is thinking this whole time, but I can't tell you what happened.

You're allowed to talk about that?

David was mad that we hadn't said the word Super Bowl.

I don't know. Pete Alonso is actually what he was mad about.

Well, I was upset about both because it's Thursday, and I I was picturing Adam Silver doing the Snoopy Dance because Roger Goodell is on the back burner. There's shows, and we're looking. It's been 40 minutes or 84 minutes, and there are other shows just getting to Super Bowl now, having started with Jimmy and the Warriors.

I'm just going to read the Kyron in first take. What will the Super Bowl come down to?

This is my favorite thing because I saw someone tweeted at us, either yesterday or early this morning, saying, Please don't spend the show talking about Jimmy Butler and the Lakers trades and all stuff. It's Super Bowl week. And I said, The operative part of the word news is new. What's new? Super Bowl? If you tell me right now something we didn't know about the Eagles or the Chiefs that we've learned in the last 24, 40 hours, I'm pleased to have that conversation. If it's just who's going to win- The Chiefs have no injuries.

That's new? Yes. There's no one on the report.

Okay.

It's pretty amazing. That's what it's coming down to. That's big news.

Okay, they're not hurt.

And we covered it. What I would like to tell the NFL in this moment is you got to earn it. Earn it. Outcompete.

Eugene Robinson, go out there. Get arrested doing something.

League don't want to earn.

I'm just saying I'm happy to not talk about the heat, trust me. But the So far, Dan looking like a couch is the number one story coming out of New Orleans.

That's a pretty good story. Look at that.

Look at that picture. It's like that always sunny where Danny DeVito is climbing out.

He's all greased up.

If he had gotten When we were in there earlier, we would have changed out the chair or his pants. Can we do that? Oh, you can do anything with time.

Or money.

Well, always.

I have a couple of questions. What decade do you have to be from to know what the Snoopy dance is? Also, Pablo, why do you think that people think you're a food delivery person?

Do you not see how he dresses like a schlep?

Oh, that's why.

That's why. He's a member's only windbreaker. He's got-That's schleppy? The onset of a potential punch for someone of his young age. I do have a way to mess up. That's a punch.

I do have early onset punch.

It's right.

He's very- Punch was a cop on this television show called Chips.

That's not true.

Oh, it's Eric Estrata.

So he's growing an Eric Estrada. Yes.

But it passes as Italian for some reason. We're doing a show for Greg Cody only, right?

And he always walks around with bags. So Pablo's got stuff, and it's not organized. It's not like a briefcase.

I'm busy finding out stuff. Sorry.

Well, he walks around the city and he's collecting food and bags. Then I picture him walking into a lobby and being stopped like you're heading into Tiffany with the trophy. People look in, you're like, What apartment's that for?

I picture you walking in the Tiffany's and then thinking, Where's the tall one from the Wet Bandits?

Daniel Stern?

We're looking for Daniel Stern because... Right.

More You just referred to the Home Alone Robbers by their gang name.

The Wet Bandits. Is that how Daniel Stern is known?

Number one, yes. Home Alone by far. Yes.

More so than City Slickers? Not Bushwacked.

Rooky of the Year.

Rooky of the Year for me, man.

I'm just glad we got Roy in here. Roy got lured out with-Hot ice.

Celtic pride. The heat up the ice cubes.

That's a mess of our phone. You know what? It might be Rooky of the Year.

It's Home Alone. You guys are high.

It's a better role, though. That rookie of the Year role is fantastic.

Home alone. This is like, what's Arnold Schwarzenegger known for? And you got to like, Jingle all the way? No. Good flick. What?

But remember what he got stuck between the doors, knocking on the doors of the hotel room? A paint can hit him in the face.

Then he stepped on a nail with no shoe on.

Hold on. Amin got some Obama in his paint can hit him in the face just then.

A paint can I'm in the face.

Now, that's SNL-worthy.

You just learned that I do a really good Obama?

No, but I hadn't heard it in person before.

Can we get to Steve and A being a Democratic candidate for President as Barack Obama has learned the news?

Got a couple of presidents in here, too, if you need them.

Let me be clear. When I heard the news that Steve and A Smith decided he should run for office, I said, That's a great American. Now, some folks across the aisle don't like that. They want Skip Bayliss to be the Dominic. But I told my family, Sasha, Michelle, Malia- That gets me every time. Steven A would make a fine candidate. Now, Steven A... Wait, hold on. Joe, what did you agree with me?

Listen, man, he's a good guy.

He's got it.

He's got real pizazz. I like him.

Now, Joe, now, Steven A is- Is he from Scranton?

It's the hands every time, right? Is he from Scranton?

He's in the losing breath as soon as he starts talking.

What does Donald Trump believe about Steven A?

Who does a good Trump here? I don't. I've tried and I realized I can't do a good Trump.

He talks sports, all right? He talks a little bit and he doesn't do it well, okay? He talks way too much, if you ask me. Okay. It's not terrible either.

It's the only option we got. This is not terrible. It's a real binary equation you're giving approval to.

No, we didn't do the lips part. You got to do the lips. You You have to have the flirt.

And the fingers.

A lot of fingers.

You know who does a really good Trump? Brad Williams. Brad Williams is a really good Trump because he does the hand movements really well. A lot of people do good Trumps. Godfrey does a good Trump.

There's a lot of Trump.

Our buddy Josh Rosen obviously does a great Trump. He actually makes money, has a Trump impersonator.

How much money does he make?

Enough to pay his bills.

You know this? You've seen the W2?

I've seen Josh Rosen, and I've seen him play places.

You think he gets a W2 for He's not getting benefits on this shit. And Brad Williams and Donald Trump, same size hands.

It's true.

Nice.

Well done, Roy.

But guys, you guys on We're talking about the real president. We're talking about 2028, baby.

2% Stephen A. Is polling in this one.

What's the plus or minus? What's the margin of, I'm blanking someone, please help Tell me.

Margin of error?

Margin of error? What's the margin of error on that poll?

Please tell me it's more than 2%. That's unclear to me. I'll give you some of the details. So they think it can be negative? It's a McGlacklin & Associates poll. Kamala Harris is still leading the pack, 33%. Pete Buttigj, 9%, Gavin Newsom, 7%, Stephen A. Smith, 2%.

I've often said that if the fires happened on my watch, they would have been put out immediately because the fires I don't want to make an enemy out of me.

Do we really see him as a Democrat? Because he said that he was an independent years ago.

We heard that from- You certainly can't come out as a Republican running for 28 at the moment because the thought is that there's going to be a third term in there.

Now, are we talking? Is that where we are at? Oh, it's not where I'm at, but that's been- To buy the Constitution.

Classic.

Oh, please. We're not in the last four years. I definitely didn't try to warn you guys. Can I... Look, Steven A. Smith, I just want to tell you, picturing him at a debate, a presidential debate, thinking that he's doing one of his shows on ESPN.

That's all it is now. That's what state of the Union.

That's what Trump did at the debate. It's turned He didn't do it.

That's all it is. That's a reality show.

You want to talk to me about taxes? Come on. Let me tell you something about taxes.

I'll trade him.

And then never actually say anything about taxes.

No, because all he's What we're going to do is just name out the resume of taxes. We've had taxes since Eisenhower. He had them at 90%. We dropped them, and they've been very, very beneficial. Roads, schools.

He'd be almost the richest president. Almost the richest President? Yeah. Almost. For real? I mean, he's about to sign and become the highest paid employee at ESPN. He'd have more money. He's not already? In theory, then even Trump himself. Maybe I'll take his spot at ESPN.

Oh, my God.

First, Joe The CIA.

He did just sign with a major Hollywood talent agency.

Yes, he did. They did a whole announcement about it. The Speaker Series. Now, you can make a lot of money. There's a lot of 1099 Obama cashing in. Bill was cleaning up on that circuit. You make appearances when you've been President.

Some people, I'm reliably informed, write books to go on the speaker circuit. Of course. That's the actual game.

Have you met Stugatz? You mean he's going to go He's going to go on a liar circuit.

No, he's just going to cancel. He's going to make appearances and then cancel.

By the way, I got a report from New Orleans here. Everyone's Super Bowl week talk.

Yeah, let me straighten up in my chair.

Does anybody do a George W. Or George H. Bush impression?

You work on that while I give you this update from New Orleans. Stew was looking for another stew to do a competing stew versus stew show. He put out and asked for stew finer.

Oh, my God.

There it is, our New Orleans update.

Is that news? It is. Is that Super Bowl news because it's new?

It's new, and it came from New Orleans.

Who's the source of that?

I can't reveal my source.

Can we talk a bit about the thing that we saw at the White House yesterday?

I didn't see anything at the White House.

I want to show you, actually. I want to show you a clip that caught my eye. If we can play something that Chris Cody is very cleverly... There it is. Very good. And play.

And Tommy Tupperville, a great coach.

His quarterback was named Mahomes. He was a great college coach. I said, How good was he?

He said, You don't want to know how good. He made me into a great coach. He's a pretty good quarterback, right? Yeah, he was very good. What a fraud. He was a good guy, too.

I just want to be very clear about this. This is not a political take. Donald Trump does not know ball. Donald Trump does not know sports. He's around sports. He has He got money on sports. He shakes hands with people who play sports. He has no idea what anything is.

Do you believe that someone writes that speech?

No. No, that's him winging it. They do write speeches for him.

He wings it, though. That is him looking at Senator Tommy Tuberville and saying, You're the guy who coached Patrick Mahomes famously. We all know that.

How come no one in the background noticed that it was wrong? No one sets up a sound after we've listened to it better than Pablo.

Hold on. Let me just point something out. You said- And Nobody corrected him. How about Tommy Tuberville didn't correct him? He said he's a pretty good quarterback. He said, Very good. Tommy Tuberville went with it. Yeah, I coached him in 2012 when I was at Texas Tech.

You're going to correct the president in that? This is why I bring it up. This is what's happening. Again, I'm not trying to do a political argument here. I am just saying this is happening in one million different ways across all sorts of stories that are not actually anything this dude cares about.

There are way more important things we could be talking about, but there's plenty of other presidents when they welcome teams to the White House, there's speeches that are prepared, and when they try to go off script, George Bush did that and made a mistake, you're not going to correct him on that. What did he say? He said something about a game that he said that he had watched our World Series and he hadn't watched it. You didn't correct him? Are you kidding me? You're with the president in the White House.

I would have sworn that you would have just- Like, interrupt?

I can't interrupt the remarks while presenting the Jersey. It was Brad Penny that started, not Al Lader.

I could absolutely hear Samson's voice from the background. He's standing behind- I respect the office.

I wish people in the office respected the office, but I respect the office.

Would you have corrected him after he was done speaking?

I may have.

There you go. I appreciate the kind words, Mr. President, but...

You did that? Now, that's funny. I didn't call him Mr. President.

How did you address him?

President Bush. You You should have said Mr..

Mr. President.

It's interesting. I did not do that. I did not do that.

But you did correct.

I wish you hadn't just done that.

We talked after. You made all the Marlins employees call you Mr. President. No. David, You'd know that if you had worked for the Marlins.

You would also wear a tie.

Just David. For at least a couple of months. Only until June. Only until the first sign that, Oh, my God, is it hot in this freaking town?

We got you. I want to tell you a story. I'm serious here. My wife and my two daughters, they beg me to buy a Peloton. So I bought a Peloton. And then I watched that Peloton sit in my office and stare at me. So you know what I did one day? I looked at it. And so I decided to get off my ass and I jumped on the Peloton because no one else was using it and I paid for it. I mean, so why not? Then I realized eventually that they bought it for me. And I got to tell you, way more challenging than I could have ever imagined. Peloton coaches are walking the walk. I love the coaches. I do the Grateful Dead one. It's fantastic. They have a sub three-hour marathon runner, military-trained athlete, a former college basketball player, and so many other well-rounded coaches on their team. All this experience really shows in their classes, which are never short of challenging, especially for me, So I jumped on it that first time. It was challenging, more challenging than I thought. Then I wanted to beat the bike, and so I kept jumping on it, and I absolutely love it.

I mean, I'm the only one who uses it, but again, they got it for me. I mean, I had no idea. That's a little passive-aggressive, don't you think? Find your push Find your power with Peloton at onepeloton. Com.

Hey, folks, it's Mike Ryan, and I need to talk to you about something that I use religiously. Anytime I'm hosting a big dinner party, I want to impress people, and I get food from some of the of the iconic famous places in the country. You know what helps me do that? Gold Belly, this amazing site where I order from all the time, where you can get all these amazing foods from all across our great country. They will ship free to your door anywhere in the US of A. Gold Belly They will ship you Philly cheesecakes from Jim's or Pat's in Philly. I'm treating my office right now to a cheesecake party from Pat's, courtesy of Gold Belly. And on top of that, I threw in some original Buffalo wings from Anchor Bar in Buffalo. You could get Kansas City's most legendary barbecue from Gold Belly. And if the pizza near you sucks, they will ship you New York style pizza from John's on Blicer or Chicago Deep Dish Pizza from Lou Malnades. I do that all the time or even New Haven or Detroit style pizza. If you are truly gluttonous, though, they will ship you Guy Fiery's famous trashcan nachos, which I kid you not, are the ultimate game day centerpiece.

So if you're looking to host an epic Super Bowl party or any party for that matter, go to goldbelly. Com and get free shipping and 20 % off your first order with promo code Dan. That's goldbelly. Com code Dan for free shipping and 20% off your first order.

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Don Lebatard. No one else here is willing to do Trump or Biden. That's not true, Dan. Okay, Tony, you can catch- Man of a thousand impersonations.

That's not bad, man.

That's not terrible. Finally.

Pretty good.

Stugatz. Yours is terrible.

You just got to get a little redder, a little pinker.

You're right there, man.

Yours is not.

You're biting me. What do you mean?

This is good. That's actually not bad. This is good. That's not terrible. That's not terrible.

We got to come together.

A little Southern twang there.

A little I'm called George Bush in that one.

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

I'm down on Trump and what he's doing with the transgender and all the executive orders. But I just want to point out that what he did with Tuber.

Tuber? Tuber? Tuberville. Tupper.

He said Tupper. Tupper. Tupper? You call it like Tupperware.

Keep saying it, you'll find it. I'm having a hard time enunciating it, except to say that I give him a pass on that.

I do not, in the least.

I know, but I don't want him to know that. I'd prefer my president to not to actually-Oh, I see what you're saying. Spend time on that type of stuff.

Sure. In any other timeline, the idea that a president tried to make a sports reference and face implanted, would be otherwise not symptomatic of a larger trend. Agreed. A troubling trend insofar as the background of that video, which, to Chris's point, I did not do a great job of setting up. He surrounded He's surrounded by girls, young women, for what the C-Span, Kyron describes as the no men in women's sports executive order. Speaking of telling people to play and to not. It's a ridiculous thing. Workplay. It's a ridiculous thing. I say that because, look, at all times with what David referred to as the transgender, I'm trying to be somebody who you want to hear from, even if you think I'm going to be the guy who was in the tank for one side. I'm not in the tank for one side. I am just here to remind people that when you say this is a deeply unpopular issue, 80/20, a winner for the GOP, 80/20 a winner for the Mutated Republican Party, which is true. Just please stop pretending like Democrats had been shoving this down people's throats. The idea that everybody, everybody on the left was so pro-transgender that finally Donald Trump is going to stand up to the big bully.

It's just not what was happening.

But we're not saying pro or anti-transgender. What the executive order was, was about participation in sports, fear tactics.

Yes, and the good news is that there have been rules regulating participation in sports on the basis of hormones, testosterone, which is, look, an argument debate. Sure, we've done episodes about it, but they've existed. There have been regulations the entire time. There are fewer than 10 college athletes who are trans at all, meaning that we're debating issuing executive orders fear mongering about less than 0. 02% of the population while also casting that population as the bully.

The most effective straw man of all time.

It's in 80/20, is it? 80/20, it's a winner. I'm not disputing that. It is a winner for the Republican Party. What I'm saying is that this is something that I can't abide by because of a misrepresentation of the reality of it. I'm not saying that it's not unpopular. I'm saying that we here who have cared about this issue saying, Actually, let's consider this population of people. Let's consider that if they were to go through with these regulations, these hormone therapies, to decrease their competitive advantage conferred by male puberty, if they were to do all of that, that they deserve a right to play. What What I'm saying is that people who have been saying that and believing that, like me, have not been platform to the point where everybody is saying, Let's celebrate the trans athlete. It's been a relatively lonely journey for those people in particular. For those fewer than 10 people who are just trying to participate in sports, them being cast as Goliath, as the bully, as the big bad wolf by the president surrounded by these by these women as props, it's insane to me. It's just insane to me. Is this a Title IX issue?

Is this something that can be appealed in the courts? Roy, there are so many legal pathways shooting out of this. Title IX being one of them. I guess I even hesitate to go to that point because I want to make the argument even more basic. The boogie man you have created is not an It's just the most overblown political issue of our time.

It was a platform issue that was used by Trump, and it gets people riled up, and he was able to take care of it. Then he was able to say that, I'm doing what I said I would do, which, by the way, is a whole 'nother' subject. All the things he's doing, he said he was going to do. Yes. He campaigned on this. This is what he campaigned on. Was it 70 million people voted for him? He's doing exactly what they want. And this executive order on transgender participation in sports was one of them. And he's going down the line. This was just a press conference. That was one of 10 that he had.

All he's been doing while Elon Musk has been doing the actual work of being president has been holding press conferences and signing executive orders, which in reality are pieces of paper that just say, Here's a take I have.

Yeah, that's my favorite part, is that this is his favorite part of of the presidency is feeling like he's doing something by signing pieces of paper that say-I think you're underselling an executive order.

Now, it is true that you cannot unilaterally implement certain things in some of the executive orders, but all presidents on both sides of the IOUs executive orders as- Look, there are consequences to them.

I am just saying this is the theater of... This is first take. This is Steven A actually being very qualified for this part.

I can sign an executive order now. What about me?

Yeah, but a majority of them either have to really have to go to Congress or are wholly unconstitutional. There's a reason why he's not going through Congress. One of them is because it takes actual work of governance. Another reason is which he does not have a huge majority in Congress. He is a very narrow... The thing that I am frustrated by is just the way in which we have lost any sense of proportion. The smallest population of helpless people who are contemplating suicide at a rate of one in three are the big bad wolf. That's who you should worry about, those people. Meanwhile, the victory that Trump won, again, it's crowd sizes. The whole premise of this is he won so overwhelmingly that this is what the people wanted. He's just doing what they wanted. Look at how much he won by. We are misrepresenting basic statistics all of the time. It's infuriating to be purely just on a counting level We're really just going to eat all these lies.

Yes, for four more years.

And more.

Maybe more after that. Totally unconstitutional. Now, but when you pack the Supreme Court, you have and you assign the way he has, then you feel a little more emboldened with that branch of government. When you've got the tiebreaker, which he has with JD Vance, in case there's a few Republicans who fall astray, which happened recently with one of the appointments, you feel emboldened as the president that you can use the three branches of government. What he does with these press conferences and the off-the-cuff sports references and various things, that's just appealing to the ignorant, and that's fine. All the presidents do that. What we should be far more worried about is the ramifications not of the executive order stopping participation of transgender athletes in sports. We should be far more worried about things that he's doing economically, things that are happening within the government. Let's talk about it.

Can we not be worried about both, though? Hold on a second.

Because- I don't have the bandwidth.

You have to pick and choose.

I have to. That's the problem, though, right? Because if you are running a, for all intents and purposes, fascist version of the American government, other rising groups of people is what helps you. It's what helps you keep that pulpit. And by creating a boogie man, the percentage of people in America who think that 25% of our population is full of trans folk because of the fear mongering that's been done by this administration and its cronies are part of why you have people so dug in on that side of the aisle is because they've created boogie men out of nowhere. And by the way, if this population is as small as it is, which it is, we should still be supporting that.

I think the reason why it's been really hard to talk about the trans debate in the context that David is trying to get us to is because it is a bit of a nuanced thing. We're talking about a tiny population of people, and therefore, if it's just going to be a tiny population of people, less than 10 college athletes, why are we prioritizing them and losing an 80/20 issue, as they say? What I'm here to remind everybody is that the point of rights in this country is not that it's a popularity context. It's what is right or wrong. At the same time, David, I want to acknowledge, when it comes to the terror alert scale of how worried we should be about anything, because it's a relatively small population, what's happening, say, to USAID is something that, yes, we should also make room for if we're going to power reg the actual levels of concern, while also noting, briefly, that USAID is also 0. 2% of the budget. So another population- But the impact it's having worldwide, the diplomatic impact it's having, the fact that no one's talking about this, whether we're a sports show or not, if you're not paying attention to what is happening with the USAID and the fact that it's disappearing, then you're not paying attention.

It's as you're saying.

You got to pick and choose what you want to put out there. But there's a through line here, Roy, right? Here we have in USAID and the transpopulation of athletes, two groups that are relatively very small.

Very smallI don't agree with your premise.

Budgetarily, USAID is 0. 2%.

The impact of USAID is so much larger than the impact of banning transgender participation athletics. It's not even... How can you mention them in the same sentence?

I'm mentioning them in the same sentence because what we're doing here is forcing nuance into a false binary. It's not either or. What we're saying is USAID, 0. 2% of the budget, also massively impactful for every foreign relationship we We have for all of these people who got into it for the right reasons.

For everybody with AIDS, everybody with HIV around the world.

For everybody who's affected by disease globally, it is a massive catastrophe. I am also saying that even though there are less than 0. 0% 2%, fewer—Fewer. Twice. I think we'll agree to disagree, % of college athletes who are trans, also worth considering.

It was obvious back in whatever year that was, 2018, 2017, which the bathroom bill in North Carolina. It was a test there. It's like, Hey, my base, we can agree men should go to men's rooms and women should go to women's rooms, ladies' rooms, right? Yeah. But then that one shockingly failed for So then the new one was, oh, boys should play boys' sports, girls should play girls' sports, let's protect our kids. And that one just hit like, you know what? And so it's just been obvious what's been happening. It just happens that they have currently succeeded.

Do you see a problem. I don't know that we should debate the concept of, I'd rather talk about the executive order and talk about the reason why he's doing that and how that is manifesting itself in issues that are far more impactful to way more people. So I just take umbrage with you saying that it's USAID 0. 02%, therefore we have to consider in the same- But this is why it's in the same breath right now.

It's because what Donald Trump and what this administration is doing all of the time is celebrating that they are defeating the bullies. The bullies, in this case, are trans athletes, and they're the workers trying to get people AIDS medication who are actually a tiny percentage of the population he's trying. David, it's a numerosity thing.

What part of budget is Gaza? I mean, are you going to start breaking down the defense budget and what we've done?

I'm walking you to a place of agreement. I'm walking you to a place of agreement, which is... Oh, God.

Oh, guys, the NBA Trade Deadline, it never stops. This is according to the Bobby Marks of ESPN and Tim Bontes. The Washington Wizards are acquiring Reggie Jackson and a first-round pick from the Philadelphia 76ers in exchange for four second-round pics and Jared Butler, Mike Scotto, who Sidebar, so it was reported.

A natural segue from DC politics to DC basketball. Well done.

Reggie Jackson. That gives them a good bet. The Wizards have won three games in a row. They're a season high in win street.

You said they're the worst team. Worst team ever. They were my pick of the day last week. Last night was the Nets over the Wizards coming off the win over the Rockets. Russell, two threes, back to back. Great game. You then get to play the Wizards, get some momentum. They're only given a point and a half under the DraftKings' line as of yesterday morning, and they got smoked. They got smoked. The Wizards smoked them.

Yeah. Guess what that means? What does it mean? The Brooklyn Nets are the worst team in the NBA now.

Wait, you said the Wizards are the worst team. No.

Whoever loses to the Wizards-It's the opposite of a Championship. Whoever loses to the Wizards is the worst team in the NBA.

Who are the three teams they've beaten? Is it the latest loss that becomes the worst team?

The latest loss always.

So now the second to last loss, they're off the hook.

You're off the hook, exactly. That's so awesome. Because the Brooklyn Nets have taken the mantle as the worst team in the NBA. Look, for a little bit there, the Denver Nuggets were the worst team in the NBA. That was when they lost when Niko Jokic had 56 points. Oh, right. Yeah. Niko Jokic had 56 points, and they still lost to the Wizards.

I don't agree that you can keep changing your mind every day who the worst team is. It's very easy.

If you lose to the Wizards, you are the worst team in the NBA. Absolutely. So Minnesota is like, Thank God, we're off the hook.

The nets were a nightmare last night.

It was awful. That was awful.

But yeah, four second round pick. Four second rounders. The second rounder is a fun thing to me.

My favorite part of all of these deals when they said they're sending a pick, they're sending two seconds for it. I don't know if this is a thing that happens in any other sport. But in the NBA, it's so much fine print. For instance, the pick that they're sending Washington is the less favorable of Oklahoma City, Houston, if between 5: 00 and 30, and the Clippers in 2026.

I never read those. I just ignore anything like that when they talk about pick swaps.

That used to be my job, Izzy. I had to write on a whiteboard where all the pics were going.

How much How does that pay?

Wait, why? Was your handwriting the best of anyone in your position?

No, because I was the one who knew.

Wait, couldn't you have told someone to have a better handwriting? No.

Does anybody notice?

Our front office wasn't that big, David. We didn't have a calligraphy guy.

28 grand a year.

I want to cross the streams here, right? So Elon Musk is sending all of these people, these programmers, in to get into the budgetary software. What does the budgetary software of a pro-sports team look like? Well, our parents-So far, it's a mean. So What do you mean is the budgetary software?

Yeah, of course. Everyone's got software for accounts payable and accounts receivable, and you've got spreadsheets and a lot of Excel. There's a lot of Excel. There's a lot of people doing-Access.

Microsoft Access database.

Formulas. So they can keep track of expenses, like of your show. And they can then calculate how much a show is, and then you have revenue associated with it. It's a whole magilla. Then it generates books, plus there's budgets. There's about 250 budget departments.

But is there a guy who's just yelling at some underlings, and the underlings are the people actually keeping track of everything?

I'd say 12 people are yelling, and 15 people are being yelled at. It's about a one to one. What a mess.

That's a fun office you are. Everybody gets an underling? The underling to oversee a ratio at this college is fantastic.

It's funny you say that. You can't be an hourly employee and have direct reports. That's exempt versus not exempt. We can talk about that at any time.

I'd love to talk about that. Does anybody else get excited when it means New York accent slightly comes out? It's the best. When he says all, and I'm like, That guy's cooler than he's letting on. Because the New York accent, I think, is the coolest of all the accents.

I don't think I have an accent.

No, it comes out just a little bit at a time.

Usually when I've been drinking.

There's nothing cooler than your Stephen A Smith imitation. That, to me, is the coolest voice you have.

The ultimate New York accent. No, the coolest voice is always going to be. 44. That's the coolest voice. You don't think that's a cool voice? It is good.

But when you have a New York accent, you just get away with saying things that other people...

Sasha Malia, I think. Michelle definitely thinks.

People can't get I'm sorry with. All right? You say with a New York accent, you're mad corny for that. You say that with a New York accent, you sound cool as hell. I can't do the New York accent. You sound cool as hell. Say that the way I just said it, and you sound like an idiot. You're mad corny for that, Pablo.

It's funny because- Sir.

I grew up in New York, and I don't have that accent. So I felt that actually, hypothetically and realistically.

It's also weird that people just talk different.

I feel like the Southern accent is the coolest accent, right? Like, draw? Yeah, because maybe I'm just always thinking of that Seinfeld episode where the Astros come up to New York and George is entertaining them. And then after they leave, he starts talking like them, calling them Bastards and Sons of Bitches and stuff like that. What's my man named? His boss at the Yankees walks by in the hallway and thinks George is blowing the deal by calling them Bastards. You tell those Bastards, When I get down to Houston, I'm going to kick their ass or whatever. Instead, it's a language of love But it's not cooler.

You can't be a hip hop artist with a Southern accent, but with a New York accent.

Come on. The Southern accent is all it's at now. To me, the New York-All the big artists are Southern.

The New York accent test, to me, is around water.

What's that?

Water? Is it water?

Water. Water. Not water.

That's really Long Island.

Yeah. You went a little too far east. Too far east. 495. It's true. I don't think of the Long Island accent as a desirable accent.

People do not want to have that. And it's very easy to tell. It's as easy as the Southern draw, is the accent off the L-I-E.

The Southern draw has... It's easy going. You can't rush me, right? Well, I'll tell you what. You get that going. It's like, I'll just get to the point. No, I'll get to the point at my pace.

There was a study recently that I wanted to cite here. About accents? Yeah, it was about British accents and how we consider, of course, all of them, any British accent to be of a certain stature.

The standard British accent and the posh British accent. Well, this is the article. We're not talking about Jordies and Manx and stuff like that.

They sound more important.

I would say that to From the untrained American ear, any British accent conveys a sophistication.

I would tell you right now, to the untrained American, they've never heard of a Jordy.

What is a Jordy? What is that?

Jordy is people from New Castle. You could look this up. It's a show called Jordy Shore. It was their version of Jersey Shore. You cannot understand the word they're saying. There's no way that sounds sophisticated. We're That's what it sounds like.

That's a good one. You need to put that one in the Rola Dix.

I'm looking at the difference is the socioeconomic connotations of different British accents. And Amina is right. This is a thing. This is a thing.

Jordies?

Yeah, look, there was a study that tested how these things sound. Right. And I'm going to get to it in a certain failbusters. In the next episode of The Sandals.

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