Transcript of Hour 1: Down The Rabbit Hole (feat. Ron Magill)

You're listening to DraftKings Network.

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugatz podcast. This episode of the Dan Levatard Show with Stugatz is presented by Venmo.

Ron McGill is supposed to be here shortly. We've got some funny video and audio, Mavs related, to play for you. But it doesn't happen very often where we go to break and Stugatz is mother bleeping himself because of a missed opportunity. So I will say it again. Walter Payton played the entirety of his career wearing no socks, barefooted inside of the cleats because he liked how it felt to run that way.

Feetness. It's right there for me.

It was. It was right there for you. Let's get to that Mav sound, and let's get to Mike Ryan getting to take a victory lap on Terry Rozierer. Can we set up, please, the victory lap for Mike Ryan so that he can take it in the other room and celebrate what is one of the most unpopular players in heat history. This is as right as Mike Ryan has ever been about anything, because we've been looking for the sound. Is this the sound from the news you learn the news for the first time, or is this you circling back around with your general hatred for Rozier?

This is when the rumors were circulating that Terry Rozier was a possibility for the Miami Heats, something that sent a chill down my spine. But keep in mind, we had Kyle Lowry on our roster at that moment in time, too, so I was put in a very difficult position.

I am told that Genesis right now is working on people in the victory lap room. I think you should go anyway and go ahead and see what you do about a victory lap in there. Get him a microphone, We set up that room around Genesis, who's working on people. And in the interim, let's go back in time so that people understand Terry Rozier is an inefficient player. The only time I've seen Terry Rozier be good is in Charlotte, and he wasn't because Charlotte wasn't any good, and he just got a giant usage rate. There are a lot of NBA players who could put up those numbers with that usage rate.

So the time you saw him be good, he wasn't good. That's correct. Okay. That's right. I just wanted to clear that up. That's right.

Because I will say this flatly. Nobody except has ever been good in a Charlotte uniform. Now, you're going to come back with Alonso Mourning and maybe Anthony Mason, but I'm just going to stick to my gut. Good. I know LaMelo is good, but he's not good because he plays for them and they're not good. That franchise has a history of irrelevancy that is staggering to have near the father of Marcus Jordan. Speaking of which, I'm going to get to this sound from the police because it felt like Stugatz being arrested if he were Michael Jordan's son. It's some of the stuff Stugatz would do if he was either coked out or drunk and talking to a police officer trying to get out of an arrest.

Who told you Walter Payton didn't wear socks? Because I'm seeing lots of pictures of him playing football wearing socks.

Okay, I will tell you that later in the show. Remind me.

Is this attached to the racism?

Remind me about that, too.

Racism and socks.

Remind me because they're tied together in a way that is interesting. Yes, in a way that you would not think so. Yes, but I don't want to spoil any of the information that I'm going to give you later in the show. But I am promising that before the end of the show today, I will tell you the story of me being racist in New Orleans. Can you play the sound, please? And the socks. And that as well. Can you play the sound of Marcus Jordan? And I don't know. I think it's probably reckless to suggest that anyone has a cocaine problem. But if I were looking for identifying marks, being caught doing cocaine in public by a pool, there's I'll give you evidence of that. I don't know how hard it is to be Michael Jordan's son. I imagine in some ways it's easy, in some ways it is very hard. It's super unusual to be in a position where you end up dating your father's ex-teammate, X, wife, which is what he was famously doing with Lahrsa Pippin.

Lahrsa Pippin. They have broken up. Yeah, they broke up. She's not in this video, but yes, they did date.

But this is Marcus Jordan doing, I think, what Stugatz would do if he was arrested with cocaine and was Michael Jordan's son.

Bro, I'm Marcus Jordan.

I'm Michael Jordan's son.

I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just trying to get home, and I made a wrong turn. I'm not going to get you out of the car. Okay? And clearly, we would just like to get our car off of the train track. It's true. Which we were not trying to be on.

But that's why I had to get you out of the car, okay?

Because if you're spending tires, I hear slur speech from you. You're driving on train track. I'm not slurring anything. I'm letting you know. I have concerns. I appreciate that. I can't let you back behind the car and drive a vehicle. I appreciate your concerns. I don't want to- But I am not inebriated. I'm not anything that cannot drive home. 904640. The thing is, I'm not familiar with this area. I made a right. I thought I was making a right onto the highway. I made it right onto the train track. Where did you turn it, man? I wish I could tell you, but- I think at some point in there, he also said that car was worth $300,000.

I think that we cut that out. Somebody told me that I had not heard the sound myself. So somebody check on that to make sure that I don't have that wrong because that's not something I've confirmed. I'm just speaking here live and unedited, and I haven't checked that.

I got to be honest, he didn't drop the MJ name enough. Every answer to every question would have been Michael. I'm Michael's son. I'm MJ's son. I'm number 23's son. Have you heard? Who's son Where'd you turn? Well, I'm Air Jordan's son. Was that Jordan Street? Plus, you got to have a photo of dad in your wallet, don't you? You have to. You have this thing with photos in your wallet. I know. Everybody should have photos in their wallet.

That's not something people do anymore.

He It was fun of me the other day because I have all my money is attached to my phone, and he's just laughing at me. He's like, You should have a trifold. And he pulls out this thick wallet. Thick trifold. He's got a wallet attached to his phone, this guy. Unbless. That's weird. It's not a wallet. It's not a wallet. It's not. What's next? I'm going to phone it. That's right. Freddie's on it. But in this case, the picture would have been proof. So Greg is right. Oh, you don't believe me here?

That's not really proof because I can have that in my wallet. It wouldn't be proof that my father Michael Jordan.

No, you can't just have a picture of Michael. A family photo? I don't even have that. It's a picture of Marcus and dad with their arms around each other's shoulders ducking it up. A jovial- Cutting a turkey. A jovial photo. Hanging songs together, perhaps caroling, the two of them. Perhaps, yeah.

Perhaps caroling.

Yeah, the two of them because they're close, they're tight. He's not just dropping a name, it's dad. Yeah.

Let me ask a couple of questions here. Are you of the opinion Are you of the belief that most people are still using wallets? Because I will tell you, every time I pull out my wallet, they make fun of me here for having a wallet.

Right. Yeah, I'm sitting on my wallet right now. It's reassuring. I understand. I can feel your ass and the wallet That's also back problems. Well, it's normal.

It's natural. No money, no problems. Put it on the poll, please, at Lebitard Show. Well said. Do you own a wallet, @LebitardShow? When he talks about a bad back, Chris, do you realize, I don't know when else your father is doing this. But your father today in the other room made the old man sound that I believe is unique to old men, getting up and sitting down on the couch. It's the same sound I imagine he makes it a urinal. I imagine when everything releases, it is just an old man sound, and I think it's the exclusive domain of people over 50 with a bad back who sit on their wallet.

Now, what I think of when I think of my dad making the sound you just described, he says a sentence that can come off as sexual, so I'm a little uncomfortable delivering it, but this is how I picture my dad getting up from the couch. That's the one. He's a big that's the one guy. Why is that sexual? I'm just saying the way... That's the one. Yeah, of course I do. But you'll say it for any... Getting up, getting out of the car, that's the one. Well, It's a sense of accomplishment. When you either sit down or get up, you feel like you've done something.

Put it on the poll at Leventard's show. It'll understand something, dad. Put it on the poll. Are you in such bad shape that it's a sense of accomplishment when you sit down or get up from something.

People ask me, Do you exercise? I'm like, Yes. I get up and down probably 20 times a day.

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Jessica, holy. I got the most gorgeous roses.

I don't think I ever got that many roses in my whole life. Certainly not from your lovely grandfather. May I still rest in peace. Thank you. You made my day. I mean, they are gorgeous. Never had so many roses in my whole life. Eighty-five years. Holy shit.

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Don Lebitard. I want to address Tony and all men who would wear that shirt in public. Stugatz. Don't do it. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

A lot of people were making fun, Stugatz, of the Wired for sound of LeBron last night with Luca telling him, Stop trying to fit in, fit out. Right. Fit out. Well, and Kevin Love, or the guy who memes for Kevin Love, because Pablo Tori alleges that Kevin Love has a guy had a funny meme of someone punching the air frustrated because he once told Kevin Love to fit in, and Kevin Love was just dying to hear fit out. I just think that LeBron doesn't have to tell Luca to fit in or fit out. Just be fit is all it is that he needs Luca to do. But I'm told that Mike Ryan is now in the other room. Before we go to Mike Ryan to take his victory lap, can you just play the sound, Chris, the Terry Rozier sound? As soon as this happened or right before it happened, Mike Ryan has been telling you for a really long time he did not want Terry Rozier on this team. This is before Terry Rozier was acquired, Mike Ryan threatened the Miami Heat organization.

I do not like Terry Rozier. If the The trade is Kyle Lowry for Terry Rozierer, what the Miami Heat are doing is moving my least favorite player of all time for my second least favorite player of all time. I am public in my desire to not ever have Terry Rozierer on this team. Thank you.

Jeremy seemed very excited about this move, and Mike seemed very not excited about this room. There's a wide-raging spectrum of how to break down this trade.

Am I allowed to give my opinion or am I a homer?

You're a homer. Mike, it is It's your turn now to do this victory lap. Genesis is very hard at work. Who is she working on right now?

She's got Lewis right now. It's a bit of a hazard to try to pull off this bit because I'm this close to stepping on his ear. But Maybe I step on his back and actually help the process. But yeah, Terry Rozier stinks. But the thing is, he always has. I had the foresight to just read box scores and tell you that he's a very inefficient player, and the Miami Heat did not have magic wand that they could just keep replicating this. Even Deion Waiters, we talked ourselves into him. He was a fitter Deion Waders. He is a bad basketball player, presently being investigated for throwing a basketball game or at least affecting his own props. I'm being told that he's a very bad basketball player, somehow even worse, but I am still effectively boycotting this team after that acquisition. I couldn't be happier knowing that this team is exactly what I thought it would be and knowing that I don't have to waste any my precious time watching it.

Back to you, Dan. Okay, thank you. But keep doing that because I'd like to go back to you to more analysis when you're more winded because I think this is funnier if... Yes, I do love that.

Go back in 30 seconds. You're so obsessed. Yeah, well, that's the joke.

Otherwise, it's less funny as an audio experience, executive producer of this show, as an audio experience, a winded cast member trying to give points that are less good than they would normally be because it's hard to give takes when you're tired.

You better laugh when we finally nail that. The team makes cowers of us all.

And I will say that as soon as it becomes funny, I'll tell you. I'll let you know. But no one's done it right since we started it. It's not that hard. You have to be tired and winded in order for it to work.

It's not that the bit isn't working. It said no one's done it right. That's correct.

That is absolutely right.

I do like our commitment to getting it right.

It's not the system, it's the players. That's right.

It's not danceful.

That's correct. It's not my system. I didn't create the system. Let's go back out to Mike Ryan to hear how much more he hates Terry Rozier.

I'm going to take a victory lap on never liking this bit. I never thought it would be funny. And yet the person that is still resolute is the person that is the one that's sending people into this. But I can say wholeheartedly, this bit doesn't work out at all. And I'm taking a victory lap, a winded one. Trust the process.

Really winded to really hammer home the fact that I never thought this was going to be funny.

Somehow I'm more right about this than I was on Terry Rose here.

Oh, my God. I'm so tired. All right, let's get to this math sound. Yes, better. Thank you. That works better. Stay there, though, and keep running, and I'll come back to you in a second. In the interim, let's get to this Mav sound here. First, let's get to the chanting involved, because this is not a chant I have heard very often where there are death threats, where it is that you've got to You've got a home security detail that is now required, Stugatz, because of everything that's happening in Dallas, where the curse of Luca has officially taken over because now multiple players are getting hurt. They've lost almost their entire front line except for lively. Anthony Davis comes out, gives you a first half of 30 points, 9 for 13, and immediately gets hurt, and it ends up being out for a week. So let's play the sound that we have of the Mavs fans who are protesting. They are chanting a chant that I am not used to hearing near death threats. Let's hear that. Bring him back. He's not back.

Bring him back. He's not back. Bring Bring him back.

He's not fat. That's right. Bring him back. He's not fat.

Is that our listeners when I was let go? What was that? I mean, he is fat. I mean...

He's not. Chris?

He's fat.

Chris or Luca? Luca and Chris. Bring him back. He's not fat.

Great chant. It does rhyme.

That's right. There are dozens of people holding up signs. Who's that guy on the right? What's he dressed as? What is he going for? No idea. Are those goggles that he is wearing? Is he dressed like a rooster?

I think he's a chicken.

He's a chicken. Is it because the maps are chickens for trading Luca? Yes.

I mean, I don't know. I'm saying it like I know, but I don't know. It just seems it stands to read.

Let's read the signs here. Judith, Benedict, Brutus, Nico. Lines have been crossed.

That's my favorite. It's mysteriously vague. I love it.

Friesen, Can you use that so that I can please read some more of those signs? Fire Nico, that's an obvious one. That's an easy one to write in your magic marker.

Dirk handed Luca the Torch Nico blew it out.

Let's go back to a sweating Mike Ryan to check in and hear from Mike Ryan on how right he was about Terry Rocia.

So miscalculation on my part. I've recently lost some weight, so I haven't needed the nipple stickers as much, but I'm wearing a hockey jersey, and it is really chafing up my nipples right now. I've got these Swedish crowns on each one of them, and it's not a nice sight. But I will take another victory lap, though. I was I was told that I don't know ball because I said Anthony Davis is always injured. Everybody that has been watching the NBA since the Miami Heat acquired Terry Rozier told me, He's actually pretty healthy. That's a bygone era. That's an old take. Sagats, we were right. Anthony Davis. He can't say healthy. They traded Luka Donchich because they were worried about his fitness and traded for Anthony Davis in return.

We were right about that, bud. Yeah, I was right about that. I don't want to take a victory lap, though, because I can't. Because a It doesn't work.

It doesn't work. All I have is shaped nipples, which I will not show on air.

Is that Tony on the left? That is not Tony. It is not. It looks like Tony, though. It's a good call by you. Yeah, thank you. After the fans outside chatting, he's not fat, he's fat, bring him back, whatever that thing they were chanting. Not that.

That's not what they would...

Now we are in the arena and this fan gets kicked out. First, what he has is a sign. It's this harmless, Fire Nico. Are you not allowed to do that? Then they're having a dance cam later in the game, and The same fan. This is a rookie move by whoever's producing this because the guy with the sign, they show him later on the dance cam, and he mouths, Fire Nico. And that was the last straw. And then you cut to, moments later, him getting walked out while getting booed by the crowd. It was just not a great look for the Mavericks ownership.

Do you guys realize that so much happened over the weekend in sports that we glossed over without even thinking about it? The fact that, and this doesn't happen a lot in the NBA a Ja Morant's dad got kicked out of a game. Got kicked out of a game for complaining about the officiating and doing so, I'm going to say benignly, even though he was claiming that the game was fixed. I guess that's not benign when you've got the father of NBA royalty saying it about your officiating?

But fire, Nico is, right? Those fans do not deserve to be thrown out of a game for being fans. They're not happy with the move that Nico made. They took 25-year-old generational talent who took them to the finals a year ago, and they traded them to the LA Lakers. Why would fans be okay with that when you factor in that Anthony Davis gave you the full Anthony Davis experience? Best player in the world for a half, and he gets hurt walking, and he's out for eight weeks. I mean, that is Anthony Davis in a nutshell. And why can't fans walk in to their place of work where they're paying their good hard-earned money and say, Hey, I fire the GM without getting thrown out by the organization. Terrible job of the Mavericks. Terrible. You're wrong. I mean, you spend money for a ticket, you should be able to express yourself. Fire Nico is benign. I It's not exactly benign. But, Greg, wasn't there a part of the story where Mark Cuban is cursing back at those fans, telling them to sit the bleep down? What are the Mavericks doing? What are they doing to their fans who care so much that they would bring a lame ridiculous sign into the arena to say, Fire the GM.

Those are fans that care. Those are fans that you want to be your fans. Yeah. I particularly enjoy the chant, though, Bring him back, as if there's any mechanism by which that could happen or would happen. Nico's like, You know what? They bring up a good point. They're right. I'm going to get them back. Let's get them back. Here's Anthony Davis. He's heard. He's out for eight weeks, and I have Luca back. We have changed our mind about that deal. Hello, Los Angeles? Hello? Bring them back.

Do you think they would? If they They had an opportunity. The league said, You know what? It's not fair. You can undo it. Do you think they would?

A takeback? We're giving them a takeback.

You think they underestimated the reaction? Yes.

Oh, I do. The Lakers don't have a say in this. It's just the Mavs.

If you got them all on Serum. You never have to experience what you have. We'll just go back to two weeks ago, pal. You never have to do this. They would absolutely hit that button in a second.

But that would suggest, though, that they thought or they didn't know what the backlash would be. I've got to assume that they would know what the backlash would be, that they would know almost better than us what the backlash would be as people who know who their customers are, as people who know what he means to that region, as people who are more emotionally invested in the result than we are.

New ownership group. They don't have their finger on that, both the way that Mark Cuban did. We know for a fact Mark Cuban would have never done this.

If Anthony Davis doesn't get hurt, are they still protesting outside?

I think even if Anthony Davis stays healthy, they still go back because they totally calculated this reaction from their fan base.

Does Palinka get to wear his jacket to another event, or was that just the event for that jacket?

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Don Lebetard. The elephant went into a 711 and bought a a pack of cigarettes. But my question to Ron is this.

Stugatz. That joke didn't really land the way you wanted it to, did it? We all just stared at you. It didn't land at all.

This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz. Ron McGill joins us now, as he has for many weeks, many Many years.

Many years, yes. Now, many weeks, regularly, but he's missed some recently. Busy guy. Well, our audience gets mad when they don't get their fix of Ron McGill. I will tell the people, and I can't give to total details right now, but Ron is ready very soon to, for our audience only, unretire the most popular thing he's done in his zoo career, which is Sex and the Animals, his Sex and the Animals presentation He's going to do it for our fans shortly. We will have more news on that front in a while, but I want to play some videos here for Ron. Welcome, Ron. Thank you for being on with us. I want to show you first here a dog that is retaliating here, evidently, for being hit with a snowball. Can we play, please, this video for Ron McGill and have him do a little bit of play-by-play for us?

Oh, yeah? You're going to give me a snowball? Take this.

How about that? Okay. I thought that video would be a lot better. I think that over the course of the week, people who are gathering these things, I think what they should put at the top is video that's slightly better than that, that allows us to have Ron McGill do some stuff with the videos that is more entertaining than that. Let's go to a sleeping I want to know what animal this is because this is not an animal I am very familiar with. Does anyone in here know what this animal is? Are you guys familiar with this animal that is being awakened here by- It's a baby copybara. Yes, it looks a bit like a guinea pig. Are you guys familiar with what it is that this is?

It's the world's largest rodent, except that's a baby. That's a grackle that's trying to harass it and it's being annoying like many birds can be sometimes. But that's a baby copy bar, which is really cool. It's the world's largest rodent found in tropical America and actually eaten by many people because they consider it a delicacy.

When you say the world's largest rodent, how large do they get?

A big adult, over 50 pounds.

Oh, wow. Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Do you believe there is such a thing as a 50-pound rodent? Yes or no? I feel like I've seen those in New York. What happened? No, I'm not even kidding. You're talking about the people. I'm not even kidding. No, I'm not talking about the people. I'm talking about what I see at 4: 00 AM when the rodents know there aren't people in the streets of New York, and I'm looking down the street and the shadow, it seems like a horse some sort, and it's just a giant rat.

4: 00 AM in New York. That's right.

4: 00 AM in New York. That's the only time they come out. You will not see them at another time, not the 50-pound ones.

I think the point is, what are you doing at 4: 00 AM in New York?

I think everybody knows. I think everybody knows. Valid question.

Is it- Didn't answer.

I think you all know. What would you guess?

I don't know. You've been swimming in the Hudson?

Yes.

My guess is that he My guess is that he just doesn't sleep because I get texts from him and emails from him at 3: 45 AM.

I don't know what that- Yeah, he's a vampire, Levatard. I can't prove that, but somebody who doesn't sleep, keeps odd Of course, up at 4: 00 AM looking at 50 pound rodents. A damnpire. That's vampire behavior. A damnpire. I like it.

The most famous vampire there is-Petino. 12 and in the Big East. When they asked him the other day, they asked him the other day, What would you have said to us if we had told you you'd be 12: 01 in the Big East? His answer is, How do we lose the bleep in one? He's back, baby. Oh, he is here in Cable cables. Solid guard play.

Don't be surprised if the Johnies find themselves in the Elite 8. Let's look at this bird here.

You guys tell me what the hell this is, because this is also something I have not seen, Ron. Have Have you ever seen- It's a frog mouth. A what?

It's called a frog mouth. Shut off. See how it opens its mouth? The beek is actually very small. The caratin part of the beek is very small. They blend in with trees really well. That's not a good example because he's on a fence post right there, but they just will stay totally still on the top of a tree or a fence post, something like that, and they look like a piece of wood. They're fantastic. They feed primarily insects. They're harmless. They can't do any harm to you, but they open their mouth when they're threatened like that, and they tend to make people think twice before you get much closer.

How rare are they? Have you seen one of those? Have you seen those in the wild?

I have. It's just most people don't see them because they blend in with their surroundings very well. This guy's really standing out because he's not in the best spot to use his camouflages. But like I say, they're primarily nocturnal. They're insect eaters. They open their mouth. Why are they like that? To catch flying insects as they're flying through the air.

That looks like something that a cartoonist would draw.

Well, let me tell you something. You look at some of these animals. I don't know if you guys saw that video. I'm surprised you I haven't pulled it up yet of that deep sea anglerfish that they found in videotap. It was on the news. It was unbelievable. This thing looks like a drawing out of your worst nightmare, and it's a living, breathing thing on this planet. Normally found thousands of feet below the Earth's ocean surface, but they got some incredible video of one that had come up to the surface and was swimming around. You guys need to find that and look at it and tell me if it doesn't look like something that was drawn by some kid who's having a massive nightmare.

Can you tell us how rare, strange this is? There is a shark here, and you're always telling us that sharks aren't as dangerous as they're made out to be by people who fear sharks. But what is happening here with an aquarium water dancer's head and a shark?

Aquarium water dancer's head. Oh. Yeah, I saw the thing. Is this a shark? That's not a shark, first of all. That's not a shark.

What is that? That's a fine.

I don't know exactly what it is. These days, I can't even I don't know whether the stuff is AI or not, but I can tell you that's not a shark, because a shark grabs somebody's head like that, and there'll be a lot of blood coming out. So that's not what that was. It looks like it might have been some type of grouper, some type of Goliath grouper something like that, but I don't actually know. To be that size, yeah, it needs to be something like a Goliath Cooper. I'm just actually thinking that that's AI, guys. I don't believe that video.

No, you don't think the video is real? I've seen it in action. It was definitely not a shark, but otherwise- I saw the video in action, too.

But Mike, man, I've seen some videos done by AI these days that are just... Even I is an expert of wildlife, but look at it, go, God, what is that? I mean, is that real? Then I've got someone to admit to me, No, it's AI. We did it in AI. I go, Man, this stuff is really good. So I don't know what to tell you guys anymore. I don't know whether that's real or not. It's certainly not a shark. If it's anything, it's like a Goliath group or something like that. But I've never... Trust me, If a fish took in a woman's head like that, she would not be swimming away like she did like that.

Ron, you know my stance on sharks. I hate the damn things. I think they're bad. They're awful. Mike, you got to stop perpetuating that myth about shark.

I just got back from the Galápagos Island. I was swimming and was surrounded by about 20 hammerheads just circling above. I'm not doing anything. I was in pure awe of watching this, looking up and seeing these rays of sunlight come through these sharks as they just quietly circled around. It was actually peaceful. It It was like a Zen moment for me.

Ron, it only takes being wrong once when it comes to sharks. I hope for your sake you're not. But I hate the term things.

But Mike, it'd be the same thing with a dog. No. Dogs are precious.

When a dog's in the water, the lifeguard doesn't yell, Dog. That's how I know I'm all right. Everyone out. When a dog's in the water, everyone takes their cameras out. When there's a shark in the water, they yell, Shark. That's not a good sign.

Okay? It's not.

It's not. It's not. Look, put it on the pole. If you're an animal and they yell your name out loud, are you dangerous?

I would not purposely go swimming with a shark, but because you see one is not a reason to panic, is what I'm saying.

Okay, what if I see a great white? Because my question is, they're tagging massive great YTS off the Coast of Florida near Jacksonville. All of a sudden we got orcas down here. Are they chasing food? Are we now living in a state where we got orcas and great white sharks just off our Coast? I don't like this one bit.

Okay, Mike. Let me put this in perspective for you. Yeah, they're tracking all these great YTS up and down the Florida Coast. When was the last time you heard of a great white shark bite up or down the Florida Coast? Think about the thousands of people that are swimming on the beaches up and down the Florida Coast. We've already proven that these great Whites are swimming up and down the Florida Coast, and yet, whoa, there's no great white shark attack on the Florida Coast.

Now, on the other hand, how many people are driving cars?

How many people are walking around? How many people are killed by I have cars every day.

Ron, I'm not wrong here. I'm just early.

If there was a shark in the ocean, if there was a car in the ocean, I would yell car. Yeah, probably. Car.

That's your contribution, Chris.

Hold on a second. Hold on a second, Ron. No, no, no. Hold on.

No way. Minor penalty, two minutes for adding nothing.

Ron?

Ron's the guest. It would be jarring if there was a car in the ocean.

Bicari.

Bicari. Hey, there we go. Ron, if you could lie to the guests of Zoo Miami and you have an animal there via AI, you have an exhibit, and the animal is not really there, but it's presented in a way in which it seems as though the animal is actually there. People come from around the world to come see this AI animal. What animal would you have on display?

Thylaseed.

A who?

A thylaseed. What's that? T-h-y-l-i-c-i-n-e, I believe.

What What is that?

It's a carnivorous marsupial that became extinct, I think, in the mid 1900s, early 1900s. It's got a tiger's striped back. It's got the head of a coyote. It was an incredible animal until it was hunted to oblivion, but they still believe that there may be some existing in the wild of Australia, New Zealand. And I think if someone were to find one, it would be incredible. That would be a believable thing. If I said, Oh, we've got a tyrannisaurus rex here. People are going, You don't have a tyrann. But they said, Hey, we found a thylacine. Because it's been a mysterious thing, whether it's still alive or not, the last one was seen in the 1930s or '40s, that would be cool, right?

This thylacine It's amazing. It's very fakeable. You just paint stripes on a dog. Look at that thing. Anyone can be a thylasee. It looks amazing. I don't like that thing one bit. You could fake that. Get Jessie over there. Jessie, our makeup artist, could go over there and give you 10,000 thylasees if that's what you want, Ron.

Jeez, boring. It's not that impressive, actually, to look at it visually. Ron is furious.

Why does he come back? Why do you guys have koalas? All they do is sleep all day. Give me something with a little pizazz. Put on a show. You know what I mean? If you're going to encapsivate these animals, put them behind a glass, have them do something. Is that a word, encapsivate? I don't know. You're the one doing it. I'm just trying to fund the animals in the arts. We're just watching koalas sleep all day and What is it, syphilis they give people, Ron?

No, it's chlamedia. They don't give it to people. That's what kills them. They don't give it to people unless you're doing really wrong stuff with koalas.

Sex and the animals. He's bringing it out of retirement in a couple of months. It's sex and the animals. It's not sex with the animals. It's sex with the animals. That with is dangerous. It's and.

That's illegal in the state of Florida, I think.

I think it's illegal in all the states, isn't it?

Well, unfortunately, it's not.

It's not?

No, it's not illegal in all the states.

He's researched this. Really?

Sex with the animals is not... Get out of here.

It should be. What states are you talking here?

What are the states that are... Let's move there. Let's move the show.

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Guys, research it. You will see that bestiality is actually not illegal in a couple of states. Wow.

All right, Illinois. Baby.

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is bestiality illegal in all the states?

As of June 2021, Hawaii, New Mexico, West Virginia, and Wyoming did not have laws against bestiality.

Okay, so Ron, let's say you go to Wyoming. It's Valentine's Day. Hawaii is shocking. What animal are we looking at there, Ronny?

Oh, God, I don't know how we go down this rabbit hole. Oh, that's a wrong term. That's not a rabbit hole.

How's your rabbit?

Oh, jeez. Listen, guys, really. The bottom line is, though, in those states, though, bestiality, as it said, is legal. What What is... It can be legal. What is illegal and the way they get it- You're rattled since you went down that rabbit hole and realized that that's not the phrase you should be using.

Ron, if you may, let me try this a different way. Which animal would you- If you may.

He's never subtle. Let's find this- Don't answer that.

Don't answer it. How many kids write me and you come out with that?

No, don't answer that. You know what? Let's give it.

I was trying a different way. He brought it up in fairness.

He brought it up.

I I didn't bring it up. He brought it up. Minor penalty, two minutes for adding nothing. West Virginia, Wyoming, Mexico. One more video for Ron.

Thank you, Dan. Let's take a look. This is on a Coast here, and this is not something that I've seen before where there is a camel that appears to- Camels. Camels taking a dip. In the ocean, though, right? What is that? How rare Where is that?

It's not rare if the camel's hot. It's just a matter of helping thermoregulate its body temperature. The same reason we would go into the ocean, camels will do it if the ocean is available to them. Now, most camels are not in an area where they're by the Coast, by the ocean. But this camel is probably a working animal and was brought down there by his partner there and given the opportunity to cool off. It's a great option just like it is with people.

Water is a cooling factor. Might this be a camel with a shy bladder, and he's just like, I'm embarrassed to pee, so I'm going to go in and then dip in the water and just... You ever pee in the water?

Is that what you do, Chris?

Is that what you do? I've done it at the beach. Yeah.

Okay. I'm learning a lot more than I care to learn on this particular-Put it on the poll, please, Juju.

Do you pee in the ocean at Lebitard show? Given everything that we've just been talking about, I just want to ask a follow-up. Do you think that camel is hot?

Yeah, that camel was definitely warm, and it was just cooling off. It's It's just. But hot? Just like people do.

But look at those curves, Ron.

The humps.

Oh, okay. I just got it. I'm sorry, I went over my head because I'm not as far down in the picture as you guys are.

Humping it.

Was that Driggs going in there?

That's my contribution. That is.

That is.

That lack of subtlety was funny.

Thank you. Well, yeah. Yes, it's more subtle than what Stugants did. That's correct.

They do spit a lot.

Thank you, Ron. Oh, my God. Yes, that's right. Good seeing you.

I apologize to the great listeners who send me those wonderful emails about how they learn so much in this segment. I apologize.

I'm sorry. Yes.

Original Hawk tua.

See you later. It's a zebra. Bye. Ron, good talking to you. Again, I tell the people, please support his substantive endowment.

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85 years. Holy shit.

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