Transcript of The Chiefs Break Buffalo’s Heart, Philly Rolls, and Guess the SB Lines With Cousin Sal

Coming up, the last edition of Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal. We're going to talk Super Bowl, we're going to talk conference finals. It's all next. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. I do have a new Rewatchables episode coming for you on Monday night. Can't wait for you to hear it. You can also watch on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel as well. Coming up on this podcast, Cousin Sal is joining me. We did this live on YouTube, which you can follow if you want to. The Bill Simmons YouTube channel, please subscribe. We are going to be breaking down the two games today and what's coming up in the Super Bowl. I have a very action-packed parent corner for you. It's all next. First, our friends from ProJip. All right, we are on YouTube. Cousin Sal is here taping the BS podcast after another magical NFL playoff game. Sal, I've had the worst weekend, and I can't wait to talk to you about it. This game reinvigorated me. It poured a Red Bull and a coffee and a giant line of cocaine into my body. I am ready for this podcast, baby.

All right.

Okay, so good. That means you took the Chiefs, and I had them, too. But just as an emotional hedge, and then you look back, I'm like, Oh, my God, I have so much money on this team as an emotional hedge. It's going to be emotional the other way when I have to explain to the family we have to move if the bills win. So, wow, what a game. Do it every week. Do it every year. Who cares?

Yeah. So there's going to be a lot of stuff over the next two weeks about Chiefs, eagles. We We had this already. The Chiefs are back. Come on. Here's where I've landed. And I feel like I've been here for most of my life, but really, especially as I get older. I really like true greatness. I really appreciate this Chiefs theme. I bet on them. I really wanted them to cover the bet, obviously. But I also really like the fact that every once in a while in sports, you have this measuring stick, not just for the sport, but for all the sports. I hated the Yankees in the late '80s or late '90s. I hated that team, but I respected the shit out of them. When Arizona beat them in 2001, it was like, this is momentous. The Pats were able to get that in the mid-2010s. Philly beat them with Foles and Peterson. It was like, this feels Tennis. I think you need teams like that. When the Warriors lost in 2019, you need teams every once in a while that are truly great. And then you see how everyone measures up. And they did it again.

I don't know when this stops.

Of course you do. Yeah. You don't want parity in everything all the time, everywhere. I think if you ask people honestly, they would want Washington and Buffalo to have advanced today. So that wasn't going to happen because everybody wanted it. Other than that, I love that the Chiefs are in it. Mahomes is great. And we saw the greatest quarterback of all time in braided. And now we're possibly seeing his greatest successor in Mahomes. And that is exactly why I hate when people lead with, oh, the referees, screwed them all the... No, I don't like the negative stigma because then football could turn into your crappy sport. Sorry, the NBA, where everybody's talking bad about it. We're forgetting the fact that we're seeing Mahomes, and he's the greatest or close to the greatest. Stop that talk.

Buffalo doesn't get the two-point. Casey gets the ball down one, fourth quarter, and you're just going Mahomes is taking this down. He's going to score. He's going to get the two-point, and they're going to be up to seven. I was already mentally in the stage of, if Buffalo then gets the ball and scores the TD, will they go for one or two? The Chiefs hadn't even done anything yet. You just knew they were going to go down and do it. I mean, the Mahomes thing, just big picture. This is now five Super Bowl appearances before age 30. He's 20 and three in the playoffs. He's beating Josh Allen, who I think along with Burrow, but I think Allen over Burrow and probably over Lamar, Allen is his number one rival. He's beating him four times in a row now in the play-offs. He just feels like it feels like that, braided versus Mahomes, that first playoff game that the first playoff lost Mahomes had. Braided beats him. Then it's like he just handed a torch to him. He's like, All right, go ahead, take it. Now it just feels like the Chiefs became the Pets.

Yeah. He handed the torch. And Mahomes, I think, played a little game with the Bills. Like, Look, we don't turn the ball over. We haven't turned the ball over since November. There's been like 280 turnovers in the NFL, and none of them attributed to the Chiefs. So what do they do? They fumbled It's recovered, but they're off sides, the Bills, so it doesn't count. Two plays later, all right, we're going to give you one more chance. This is it. And even this isn't going to matter. And they fumble. And that was the only turnover of the game, right? And still, they couldn't get it done because you got Chiefs with the ball last, and that's what's going to happen.

Well, you have on the flip side, Buffalo. Allen comes out, first drive, he throws two picks that get dropped. Allen fumbles twice, pulls back both of them, recovers both of them, including on that fourth and one. I did have a moment where I thought to myself, maybe this doesn't happen, because I remember in the Patsy Egles Super Bowl, which I sadly watched with nephew Kyle, even in the bitter end. I remember what the score was. But the Pats did get the ball with a little over two minutes left, and they were on the 20. We were all like, We're winning this. Then when braided got stripped, it was so shocking. It was like, Oh, my God, somebody beat us. There was a moment in this game. It was when Buffalo was driving, wondering if they were going to go for two or not, and thinking like, what happens if they go for two, they get it. And Casey, just something weird happens, and all of a sudden, they're punting, and they're down one, and Buffalo has a chance to just run out the clock on them. But that's the thing. Casey has avoided this. They say, what did they say?

17 straight, one possession wins?

Yeah. It was 16 straight. That's a crazy stat. Because of that, when they're driving at the end and they're minus 146, I'm crazy about the numbers, as you know.

Yeah, you were texting me during every time out.

I don't know what the hell to do with the numbers, but I'm wild about it. I just love it. It's minus 146. I'm like, wow, that's suspiciously low for this team that's going for a 3: 00 PM and never loses one score games. Then they were minus 154 when they had the three-point lead and the bills were driving or whatever with that last possession there. So it is just amazing what the hell they've done. And I look at the numbers, I'm like, it doesn't even really add up with Mahomes and the stats and how they keep winning.

He didn't have an incredible game. He ran for two touch downs. He only threw for one. The stats, the team stats were pretty even.

How the bills outrushed them by just 12 yards. I don't remember a ton of- It felt like 200. My cook wasn't in the game on a couple of big plays. I do think McDermott, who, by the way, they found out he's Bill Burr's brother. I didn't even know this. Is he? Yeah. Isn't that something? They talked about it after the game.

I didn't hear them in the set. Yeah.

He got outcoached. He got bailed out, I think, early when they scored on fourth down. But he was outcoached, and Spags wasn't going to let it happen twice in an hour.

Yeah. This was a weird game because Lombardi, shout out to Lombardi, always used to talk about the middle eight, the last four minutes of the first half, first four minutes of the second half. The chiefs have the ball, and they're driving down in the last four minutes of the first half. They get that crazy, worthy call that. We do this all the time. I still don't understand the rules of football, and I watch football. Neither guy had possession, and the ball touched the ground, and it just seems like that's a dead play. Nobody gets it. They should have gone back to the 20 instead of the five, whatever. They score, and you start going, Wow, this could be a blowout. They're up 21: 10. They stop the Buffalo here at the end of the half. They get the ball, the Chiefs at the start of the play.

Well, they didn't stop them. The Bills scored, but they didn't get the two.

But I'm saying before the Bills went down, it felt like the Chiefs were going to blow the game open. I got you. Buffalo comes back down. He hits Matt Collins in that breakdown. It's 21: 16. Now, all of a sudden, the Chiefs get stopped at the top of the... So they actually lost the middle eight because then Buffalo came down and took the lead. And they still won the Chiefs. Somehow.

Yeah, it was weird because... Yeah, you're right, because the Chiefs got the ball in the second half. Is that what you're saying? And then they- Yeah, I thought they were going to get last possession in the first half, first possession, second half.

You score both times, you're up 28-10.

Yeah, they did. The Bills had the ball and then hook Yeah, it was interesting. It really was. Let's put everything in perspective. With that play that hit the ground and should have been called incomplete, it was holding on Hamlin. He mugged, Kelsey, backpacked him, jumped on his back. So it would have been first down at the 20. Maybe the Bills don't have enough time to drive back and get the six. I don't know that the Chiefs score either. But before everybody points to, Oh, the Chiefs got lucky again.

No, that turned out to help Buffalo. That's what I told. Because the challenge had been overturned. You're right. They probably don't get the ball in the first half. That was the one real mistake that the Chiefs made was leaving Holland's open on that one play. Holland ended up having two big plays. His over-under for catches was basically, I think it was one catch. It was around even. It was minus 130, something like that. If I'm Buffalo and I leave this game, do you leave this game going, How did we not win that game? Or do you leave that game going, We're just three plays short every time we play this team. We have the fourth and one, the QB sneak, where Allen actually gets stuffed. Who knows if he actually got stuffed or not, but they called it KC Ball. You have the Kincaid play where, I don't know, That was the fourth and five. Spag's caused the blitz. It was coming. Allen makes it great just to jump up and heave it. Toured Kincaid was great. But they had that wide shot of it, and it seemed like the ball was almost like spinning.

It was almost like when a baseball, when they hit the pop fly, that just has some weird thing to it. And KK dropped it. I'm sure he's going to take shit tomorrow, but I actually thought that seemed like a pretty tough catch. Did you think that was a drop or a catch?

It was rough. There was traffic around them. It was like a moon ball, and he's got to catch it at his feet. Probably should have grabbed it, but in that situation, he was running for his life, and he's just trying to get good positioning on that ball.

But if on the bill- It's the play that a D-back drops over and over again. Yeah. Like the tip play at the line or the flutter, and it's, Oh, I can't believe he dropped that. But Kincaid was on offense.

But to answer your original question, the Bills are looking at this like not that were three plays away, that they should have won the game. They're done losing to this team. They already beat him in the regular season. They're not like us where we could rationalize it and be like, well, they just can't beat him in arrowhead. It's a different beast. They know deep down they're just as good and they can't take it. This is a demoralizing loss for them. I mean, After a while, you do maybe believe that you can't overtake the beast.

But yeah, another- Yeah, I don't know.

Well, what more do we have to do factor, right? They won They won the turnover battle. They outrushed them. Mahomes had fewer than 20 completions. I don't know. They scored 29, and they became the first team to give up over 30 to the Chiefs. That's weird.

Well, so the Chiefs have the ball after the two-minute warning, the Bills don't get it, and the Bills need to get a stop. Did you think they were going to get the stop? Because I did not. As it turns out, they had two chances to get a stop because the Bills They got the first down on second down, but the guy stepped out of bounds. So now they had this fresh set of downs. Each time, the Chiefs were able to get the eight, nine plays. Conversely, Buffalo had a bunch of chances to make a big play on a fourth and 1 or a fourth and five, fourth and three. And there was a couple they didn't get. So I would assume that would probably be driving them crazy, too. They did get that when they were down, what was it, seven, when they got the fourth down play in the end zone to Samuel. Yeah, that was big. Which was a nice play. That was big. I didn't think they were going to get that one.

Mcdermot... Sorry. Spaggs needed to dial up what he did for the very last Bill's offensive play for that fourth down play because it came out of a timeout. They have a timeout and then one play on third down and then that play. So that was bad for the Chief's defense. But I'll tell you, you're right with the short yardage. And I think we watched almost three and a half hours of quarterbacks plunging on fourth and one today between the two games.

The most fourth and ones have felt like ever in the history of the week.

I I like that they don't make it sometimes.

I really do.

Buffalo. Maybe teams will... I don't like it. When we were growing up in the '70s and '80s, where it was a fourth and one attempt on offense every six weeks or something. But I don't know. Just be a little more creative on the fourth and one. But Cooke wasn't even in the backfield for a lot of those.

Buffalo missed two two points, right? Two two points. Then they missed a fourth and short. You would think with Allen, they would be the most devastating team in the league with any fourth and 1, fourth and short. Two point, which was, I don't know, one of the legacies of this game. It was shocking not to see them get certain plays. I felt like the Chiefs were slightly better just because I felt like their defense, I trusted their D a little bit more to maybe get a stop when they really, really, really, really needed it. You mentioned that spag splits on the last play, that fourth and 5. This goes back to what I was saying earlier about how fun it is to have a team like that we have a real history with it. We root for these NFL teams, and the entire team changes over in two years. Or you have these teams, look at what's going to happen in the Cowboys, and they haven't even made the Super Bowl, but two years from now- I can't hear you.

I don't know. We lost the connection. What did you say?

Two years from now, are Dax, CeeD, Lamb, and Prescott all going to be in the team? Probably not. That's usually how it plays out.

I know. You're right.

But in this team, same infrastructure. It's Mahomes, It's always some cast of runningbacks and wide receiver with Kelsey. They always have a decent line. Chris Jones is always there. Andy Reid always is doing some funky plays that seem like they're going to work. Then Spags, every time they need it, it seems to dial up the perfect blitz. That blitz on Allen was a great call. I was waiting for it the whole game, and it didn't seem like they could find it. Then they found it.

That's what they needed before the last score. But you and I, I think, thought we were texting. We thought this game was over, like you said.

In that second quarter. I did. I thought when it was 21-10, I thought they were going to blow it out.

Well, because they were picking on that Elam guy. Romo said it. It was like, Cover one, single safety. It's just going to be the stop route all the time with The picking on this.

Right.

Yeah. By the way, Romo crushed Freddie today by 35 points. That was the biggest blowout.

Yeah, Romo, I thought that was about as good as he's been in a few years. I thought he was all over the game, spelling spotting stuff, spelling stuff out, telling us what was going to happen. With the Buffalo piece, the defense had a couple of injuries, and it was pretty… I don't want to say flimsy, but it was okay. Never a great defense to begin with. They're reminding me a little of what happened in Washington today. Washington probably were lost anyway. But when it came out over the weekend that they were losing their run stopping defensive tackle, you can pass the point in overtime, and it felt like they're secondary. I just didn't trust the people they had. That poor Benford got two concussions in a week, it looks like.

You and I haven't mentioned Christian Benford or Daron Payne at all over 23 weeks Yes. No, ever. Yes, you're right. And those arguably were the two biggest one, both for not being able to play. Benford actually got out with second concussion, we think.

It was the first series.

Yeah.

But you have these things where you've already decided mentally where you're going in a game. If you're taking Washington, it's a pretty flimsy case. It's like they're not going to turn the ball over. Jaden Daniels is going to go up a level. He's going to be able to match Philly and Hertz is going to stuck. That was the case. The other case was Philly's going to run all over them. Washington's not going to run out turnovers, and Philly's going to blow them out. You could see the two cases. It was like, I like the Washington case more. So I took that one. And then you find out their run stuff was done when I didn't really like the run defense to begin with.

It's like a 15-yard difference when he's out and when he's in.

It's like, Oh, this isn't a great sign. But we'll talk about that game later. But Philly was also great. The Buffalo thing, this might have been their best chance because I'll say this, I still think Baltimore might have been the best team from a talent standpoint. I guarantee the Ravens, the Ravens fan watching this game today, you had to... I was texting to Mallory about it, and she's still sick. Because you watch what was working against the Chiefs. The Ravens were better at pounding the ball, running the ball, being physical, and they had a better defense than the Bills. And I'm sure they felt like, Shit, if we had just gotten in there, we could have beaten that team. But they didn't.

We talked about last week how important, so stupid, but how important turnovers are, and we'll get to it in the Philly game, which absolutely dominated the discussion. But yeah, if the Ravens don't turn the ball over, it's a different story altogether. And maybe if they get a home game, too. Against Buffalo.

Does it seem like football is just now about the turnover battle who wins, how you did on fourth and 1 and fourth and 2, because there's so many of them now, and the variance of those is huge. Did you just avoid having a massive fuck-up? It seems like in a game like this, in Buffalo, all season was pulling off games like this, and their luck finally ran out today. I know the Buffalo fans last week were pissed because everyone was dwelling on how Baltimore blew the game. They're like, well, we also win the game. We didn't mess up. We didn't make mistakes. This game, they made some mistakes.

Yeah. Well, that's why I took the Chiefs. I'm not going to take a lap because I recognize whoever had the ball last pretty much went. The last six minutes are going to decide this game. But when I was thinking about it, I'm like, wait a minute. I'm going to go against the Chiefs who, like I said, haven't turned the ball over since November. And they're trying to repeat. And they're in the arrowhead and have a chip on their shoulder against Buffalo, beat them in the regular season. No freaking way. It's a point and a half.

That's stupid. The line was too low. I think if it was Chiefs by three, it was a different thought process. But the one and a half, how can you not... We did this last year. You had the Ravens, too, last year, right?

Yeah.

The FC title game. And that was my never again moment. I was just like, as long as there- That was three and a half. Yeah. Yeah. As long as the chiefs are the Chiefs, it's just not worth it because they're going to figure this out year after year. On the plus side for Allen, before we get to some of the negative stuff, that pass he threw to Matt Collins before halftime was fantastic. The list of QBs who can hit that one with the speed and the accuracy that he hit is not... It's basically him and Drake May.

I'm sorry. I lost consciousness for a second there. That was the truth.

It was him, Jake May, a couple of others. But he hit that one. He also had that big drive to give them the lead lead in the third quarter. He had the other comeback drive when it was 29-22. He brought them down again, and they scored. I was thinking like... Because I don't blame this loss on Allen in any respect. He's in that zone now that I'm not sure you want to be in as a great athlete, and I would call it the Tommy Hearn zone, where you're awesome, you're memorable, you're a generational talent, and yet you're the other guy in the sports movie over and over again. How do you get out of that? How do you snap out of that? Hearns was in all these great sports moments, and he lost most of them, but he was still great. He's one of the best boxers I've ever seen in my life. He was a one-on Nobody liked him. 6'1, 147. It's pretty good. Crazy punchy power. He fought everybody. And yet his legacy was like, he lost the Leonard fight, he lost the Hager fight.

How is he different from Lamar then in that respect because they're pointing the same fingers, right?

I think Lamar is a little bit of a different case because he's come up short in these big moments. Allen's had these moments. In the 13 second game- So he's Roberto Duran?

Who's Lamar?

Drake May. No. That's a two. Who is Lamar? I feel like Lamar's story hasn't... I'll answer that next year. Not quite ready to- Next year? I want to see one more.

I'm going to write this down.

It's tough for what boxer didn't come through every time it mattered. I don't know who that is. The point with Josh is they've lost games where he was really good in the game. I thought he was really good in the game today. If you're a Bills fan, you're like, Man, Josh has to do more. That's not why he lost.

No, there's a bunch of good boys.

I thought the play calling was atrocious. I thought the OC... I just don't understand some of It was third and short, fourth and short. It felt like any time they play action, they had guys all over the place. So I would be more mad about that if I were them.

Yeah, I think the Bills fans, at least early on, I could see they're very upset with the coaching staff because when you can't blame the kicker, when you can't kill the kicker and they can't, it goes right to the quarterback or coaching staff, and it seems like the coaches are getting. We should, real quick, shout out to James Cook. I mean, that was a spectacular, spectacular play on fourth and two. By the way, good job. Another great play by Josh Allen, flipping that to him on the quarterback option.

With some speed. Sometimes the toss is too soft. That one whipped it to the point that Cook might have whatever.

But it had to get there then, right?

It had to get there.

Yeah. For him to be able to stay horizontally and bridge on his hand without the elbow falling and extended over the goal line with the other hand was really one of the better plays I've seen all year.

We've had a real resurgence with good running backs. This position that everybody thought didn't matter, and then you look It's like Barkley and Jamir gives and Cooke and gone down the line. It seems like it's more important than it used to be. Back to the Alan, Tommy Ernst thing for a second. The sad shot at the end when the team's running out the clock and they cut to the guy losing QB just sitting on the bench with that deer in the headlights look. It's a tough one. You don't want that to be legacy. In a weird way, from a career move standpoint, I actually think he gains human interest stature because now he's come so close, a few, and he just can't get over this. Like next year's Chips Bill's game is even more interesting. This year's game was so interesting. Kyle Brandt did a Rocky IV mountain parody with him as Sly and Mahomes as Drago. And I don't even know what next year's version of that is. Right.

Oh, maybe it's Clubber Lange then Lamar. No, Lange won a title. I don't know who Lamar is. Yeah, I don't know what you do with Josh Allen. That sucks with the cutaway. You need more cutaway of his fiance, right? He's losing that battle, too. Teller Swift. But, yeah, he's playing as well as he can and just can't beat this thing.

Well, and then there's the Buffalo piece of it, too. It's always lingering with the Bills game. Even it's 29, 28. They just scored a shutdown. They have all this momentum, and there's Bass, and I'm sitting there going, I've watched Bass miss this. Like, You're watching the P-A-T intently. It's like, it's the Bills. I've seen best miss this. I'm not positive this is going through. I'm thinking about KC minus one and a half minus one, and he made it. But the baggage of the Bills is another thing. There's some franchises like the Lions, that playoff loss they had two weeks ago or last week.

Last week.

It was last week. It feels like January has been 75 days. That playoff loss they had, they haven't had a lot because they're never in the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Bills have had, it feels like 100 of these.

They're racking them up. They got to get this game at home. I don't know. Maybe with Pete Carroll division, the AFC West, and some of these teams getting better. The Chiefs won't go 15 and 2 or 15 and 1 going to the last week.

I think it's a hard ask, though, Sal.

I know.

Because you look around the AFC and there's just a bunch of teams that feel like they're poised to maybe jump up a level or teams that had bad luck in 24. What are the Texans going to look like next year? Even in their own division, could the Jets be better next year if Aaron Glenn turns out to be a good coach? Could the Patriots be next year's Washington? Keep my fingers crossed. Could the Chargers make a jump up? Could the Broncos? You go on down. I think the AFC is just going to be better next year. I can't wait to pick all the over-unders correctly with you again. You're going to do a good job. You did such a good job the last year.

Yeah, you did. But the Chiefs, as I my mouth on this whole thing, they went through the whole thing on the road, too, last year. So I don't even know what matters.

They lose Rashe Rice before the season. He's just a non-factor. This guy who seemed like he was going to be Mahomes as number one target. They're able to patch together. Smith-schuster was so bad in the preseason for the Pats. It was like, Can anyone take this guy from us? And then he's making big plays today. Hopkins, who really didn't do that much today. Kelsey, who looked like he was 55, but then worthy, becomes the key guy. This number one pick that they really shrewdly traded up for. Their drafts, the way that they've nailed the drafts, this is the difference between them and what happened in the second part of the Pats dynasty in the late 2010s when they just started missing drafts. The Chiefs are getting Carlaftis, they're getting McDuffie, they're getting worthy. Over and over again, they're nailing guys who are playing big roles in these playoff games. And that's how the pats. That's how the Pats, that's why it ended. The '16, '17, '18 draughts, they just weren't getting people, and that was it.

Yeah, thank God. I will say the one thing we skipped over with Kelsey. That's another thing the Bills would be like, Oh, my God. We held that guy to nothing. He had 14 straight games with 75 or more, 14 straight playoff games. He was invisible. Two catches for 19 yards, and they embarrassed him most of the game and still couldn't get it done. It's a lot of rough moments there for the Bills.

Yeah, They felt... What was their rushing passing? So they did... They ran the ball 32 times. How many times?

32 to 22, I think.

Yeah, they ran 32.

Oh, 34 attempts.

34 passes, 32 carries. And the Chiefs were 35 carries, 26 passes. Did people look at this box score like 75 years from now, assuming the Earth hasn't melted yet, They're like, Whoa, that game, that seemed pretty close.

Travis, Kelsey, what? He did nothing? What did the Bills went by?

Then Hollywood Brown had that huge brain fart on the play when he was open and didn't realize he was standing out of bounds. That's another thing with the Chiefs. Hollywood Brown was supposed to be their big... This big guy that helped them out.

He had plants his right foot directly out of bounds on a ball that should have been catchable.

They keep finding little things around the fringes, like the kick Turner, made a couple of big plays today. These guys, they are always able to locate them. It's its own skill because that's the biggest way you can lose these things.

Pacheco and Kelsey, 43 total yards. How much would we pull back on our Chief's bet if we had known that was going to happen?

Well, don't you think part of it is everybody and their brother had the Kelsey over? Yeah, that is part. I think that and Dallas Goddard were the two. Dallas Goddard hit his, but those two seemed like they were the- They gave everyone free Barkley money, and then they're like, No, we got to figure something out. One other thing. We'll be talking about the Chiefs going for the three-peat, and I was going through looking who's three-peated in the last 50 years, which is half a century. That's a long time. Jordan's Bulls twice, the Jacobi Lakers, the late '90s Yankees, the Canadians, four in a row in the '70s, and then the Islanders four in a row in the '80s. That's really it, unless you want to count the comments in the first four years of WMBA. This 3P thing, especially in the age of parody, the Pats never did it.

I can't believe the Pats never did it. I looked through it, too. Obviously, they haven't.

And the Steelers. It was the eagles game. It was the nick Folls, Doug Peterson game.

Yeah. But out of Cowboys, Steelers, Patriots, Niners, it's shocking that there was no 3P. Shocking that the bears only one.

We didn't do a 3P in a game where braided threw for over 500 yards. Yeah. Think about that. That was how we didn't get it. But this is fucking hard. You have these games where it's like they tipped our pass to the wide open guy on a fourth down. We missed the two point where the guy was his foot was out of bounds. We missed the field goal at the end of the first half, and we needed those. There's so many things to get that right for three years in a row. In a league with a salary cap feels impossible. Mahomes is great, but it's not like Mahomes was like, throw everyone on my I'm going to carry us all through the season. I don't even think he was one of the three best QBs this year. But he's Mahomes.

They were 15 and 2. They were 15 and 1 heading into the week that they sat everyone, and he wasn't even a top three or four consideration for MVP. That's insane because his stats weren't Patrick Mahomes-esque is the problem. But as a Patriot fan and one of the few teams that have had two Pete's, how much are you rooting for? It's not like 72 dolphins are thrilled and do the champagne toast when when the team loses. But are you rooting hard? Because I've talked to some people who have been part of a two Pets and are rooting hard against anyone having a three Pets.

Yeah, it's an interesting one. My dad really doesn't like when the Chiefs do well because he wants the Pats to be better historically than the Chiefs. My thing is, whatever the Pats did, that's what they did. The Chiefs belong to this different generation. If the Chiefs went three in a row, it doesn't diminish what the Pats did. But I think other Pats fans are like, really need the Chiefs to lose, need the Bills to come through. It depends on your perspective on it. I'm probably leaning more toward it would be cool if the Bills never won, and we were like the last the AFC's team, but I'm more spyful. Oh, wow.

Yeah. That's pretty specific.

If the bills never get one, and then now with Vrabel and Jake May and 130 million in cap space and whoever we got number four and all of a sudden can try to take the AFCs from him. I'm in that mindset.

But you're trading that for Mahomes could eventually pass. Braided is the greatest effort in every conversation. You're willing to put that up for debate?

So much is left for him to do that. Braided He went seven. Braided beat Mahomes twice. Braided had the Atlanta game, which is the greatest feat probably any quarterback's pulled off in a game.

There's a long way to go in the Mahomes thing. If he wins four in a row, if he four-peats, which he's a game in a season away from doing, then the conversation becomes real. I don't know.

I'm with you. The Bill Simmons podcast brought to you by FanDuel. Every pass, every play, every prop, it's Super Bowl 59. All of it is happening on FanDuel. You can bet on America's number one game with America's number one sportsbook any single way you want. Sprads, live bets, over-unders, player props, special props, so much more. We will be doing our special Super Bowl prop episode with Cousin Sal on the Sunday before the Super Bowl. So get ready for that. You can make the Super Bowl even sweeter. New customers can score 200 bucks when you make your first bet. Just place a $5 bet, and if you win, you'll get 200 bonus bets. Download the app or head to fanduel. Com/bs and bet with Fanduel, official partner in Super Bowl 59. Must be 21 plus in President Select States or 18 plus in President DC. First online real money wager or only, $5 first deposit Card bonus issued as non-adoptable bonus betch would expire. Seven days after receipt, restrictions by seat terms at sportsbook. Fender. Com. Game problem call, win in 100, gambler or visit rg-help. Com. Eagles, Washington.

It was so long ago.

I wrote down, Daniels kept trying to throw on a Superman cape, and his teammates kept pulling it off. That's half of my take of the game. The other take is the Eagles are really talented and just had more talent all over the place and actually played really well. I thought Hertz was good. They used A. J. Brown correctly. Barkley was incredible. Their defense made a couple... Yet another punch-fumbal play, a couple of stops when they needed it. There's a different version of this game without a couple of the turnovers that I think would have been really fun to watch if it was the Washington within a score with 10 minutes left with the ball. But instead, it became an absolute I don't feel terrible about picking Washington, but you knew in the first quarter it was a bad pick.

Well, except for that first drive, they did everything you could ask for them, right? For Washington, my big thing was Philly is going to run the ball. When Daron Payne went out, I'm like, this is going to be a disaster, and especially because Washington is one time of possession the last two times. I think it was 34-26 last week against the Lions and 36-24 against Tampa. Maybe I mixed those two up, but they're not going to win that. They're not going to win time of possession. It was dead even. I was a little bit wrong about that because it was dead even time of possession. But that first drive, you must have been excited when he's converting fourth and twos and fourth and threes. That was great. Fourteen players. Then we settled for a field goal. That sucked. But I also don't know why they went for a field goal. They were surviving fourth and 3s all the way down the field, and they have a shady kicker.

Yeah, it was like Dan Quinn ran out of place. I was really surprised they went for it. I know the book probably said it was a wash, take the points, all that stuff. But the longer they're the field, the longer the Eagles's offense isn't on the field.

I would have gone for it. And then Barkley crushes their spirit three plays later.

Barkley gets it. De'ami Brown has the punch fumble. Eagles score again. Washington's about to punt. I thought it was the most obvious. I swear, I'm not just saying this. I was watching the line because I was like, this is the most obvious fake punt situation I've ever seen because they know if they're punting it back deep. I'm watching it and I was watching the whole play develop and I'm like, oh, they're doing it. As it was happening, and the eagles were completely blindsided, which I didn't really understand. Were they? I thought that was a great throw. They were. They only had one guy to cover two guys.

Yeah, but man, it was such a good throw. I think the part- It was. Because it was two tight ends going out. He had to judge the way the middle linebacker, and he just shifted towards the guy on the right, and then he completed, and it was a good throw and everything else. But yeah, they should have been a little more prepared, but kudos. They only got three out of that, right? That made it 14-6.

I wrote down it was 14: 06. Washington to run 30 plays. Affiliate went seven, and Washington was losing by eight. Then Elliott missed the field goal. Mccloren scores, it's 14-12, and Washington goes for two, which I didn't understand at all, even though... I don't understand how you're not going for the fourth and three. But then you're going for the two. It's second quarter. Who cares if it's 14: 13? They don't get that. And then you start doing the math, 14: 12. This is going to be a two-score game soon. Then Philly made a couple of big plays. Aj Brown had that big fourth and five catch. I thought Hertz was good. If Hertz had shown what he showed today in previous games, I probably would have taken Philly, but we hadn't seen it.

For sure. We saw how successful he is with this team in the playoffs when he throws for 130 and 140, 150. And this one, this is the anomaly or I don't know, the outlier game because what did he throw for this?

He threw for- He was over 200.

246. Yeah.

And a couple of big runs, too.

Running for three touch downs. So I was like, with that field goal miss, I was like, you're playing right into Washington's hands. I feel like with this team on third and sixth, they should run every time on third and six or third and five. They're going to go for it on fourth and one or two and make it instead third and six. The one thing he can't do is get sacked, and he did. And then what's his name? Misses the field goal. And I was like, all right, they're back in it. But yeah, it was just too much. Too Too much firepower, eventually.

20: 12, under two minutes left, and the guy fumbles the kickoff and gives Philly the ball back. Now it's 27: 12. It's 20: 12, minute 44. I feel like that could have gone down, gotten a field goal, and it's 20: 15 halftime. Instead, It's 27, 15 halftime. Then Philly gets the ball and they stop him top of the third quarter.

But then Washington just flamed out.

They got the three and out, and then Philly got the countdown. That was that. Then right when it seemed like Washington might be able to drive down and get the super fun cover, Ecker fumbled. That was that. I thought Daniels was a winner in the game regardless. I thought he was really good. The fact that they put that team together with Ducktape got exposed in one three. Great season for them, though. It's such a tough spot, right?

A rookie just can't Especially in Philly, to go to Detroit and Philly and do that and be down in offensive linemen. The trends were four straight road games.

They lose their best guard and they lose their run stuff or going into Philly. And yet I needed to see it from Philly. I wasn't positive they had it, just in general. Were they going to do weird shit?

Well, Hertz was good, but then you hear about him showing up in the knee brace, and I started getting PTSD from the Tyson-Paul fight. I'm like, Oh, Tyson showed up with a knee brace, and I lost a lot of money. I don't know. Maybe this isn't a good idea.

Well, then they have this weird center situation where one guy's got the knee brace and the other guy has a bad back. And braided kept talking about it because I think he knows how important the center is because he played QB. That never really mattered.

Yeah, especially with the push push and everything. I hate that we have to say push push. My God.

Do we need to ban this play? Or is it just not going to be until somebody breaks their back in a push push and then they're like, We have to stop this. Somebody was seriously hurt.

So I want to know what year they brought it back because it was banned, right? You couldn't pull a guy. You still can't pull a guy, right? Even though they don't call it a lot. There was a time when you couldn't push it. So you couldn't push. So I don't know. It doesn't jive with the current rules about, all right, we don't want guys hitting each other's heads in the wedge, and we want safety.

We care about physical safety.

Yeah. Also, it doesn't look like a football play, and it's boring. And then they have a little problem on their hand with what Washington was doing. I think the whole world that wasn't rooting for Philly was like, good, keep hitting them. Keep hitting them. Keep getting the personal foul. And then the ref admonished them. It's like, we're going to spank you. There's going to be a spanking that goes on here. If you do it again, we're going to give them a countdown. So you give them the countdown, so we don't have to give them a countdown. It's so weird.

So would you get rid of it? Because Buffalo tried a couple of times and it didn't work.

I'm the wrong guy to ask. I hate it. I don't like it either. The team I hate most uses it most effectively, but I don't like it. Someone's going to have to get hurt, though, I think. I think that's the problem with this, right?

Eagles's big picture Sure. Do you feel better about them than you did a week ago, or do you feel like Washington outkicked its coverage and gave a valiant underdog effort, but this is what happens. This is the March Madness team that made the final four. Now they're playing UNLV in 1990, and it's Larry Johnson and Stacey Ogman. They're going, Uh-oh. All right, this is running out now.

I like that. You're such a Colin basketball fan. That's the last time I care. It's a little of both. Definitely Washington the umbrella thing, it came to an end. But I do feel pretty good about Philadelphia and the trenches there. And they could, I'm not saying I'm taking Philly, but they could present problems like Tampa Bay did, the Kansas City in that Super Bowl. Where Mahomes is just running for his life. There'll be one highlight where he's horizontal to the ground completing a pass, but otherwise it's a long night. They were excellent. I mean, what they have 229 on the... They average like 6. 4 carry.

Well, Saquon, who If they win the Super Bowl, I think will go down as the most popular Philly athlete, just moving in and basically taking the Bryce Harper spot, but in the pantheon of guys that the Philly fans love. He was 15 He's 41 for 118 in three TDs today. The countdown was spectacular, the first one. Last week, he was 26 for 205. In the two games, he's 41 for 323 with five touch downs. You remember in the late '90s when Tarell Davis was just ripping off these crazy post-seasons? With the stats, you go back and you look at it like, Holy shit. That's why he made the Hall of Fame for those two years. This feels like a very Tarell Davis-y postseason.

Yeah, he should start Absolutely. It's a question you posed earlier, did he do a good deed for all runningbacks or just for himself and Derrick Henry? It's a tough decision for GMs the rest of the way, but he did make a difference. The Eagles are much better because they got Barkley. He only had, like you said, 15 carries. That's bizarre. They could add another 100 yards if he had another 10.

His rookie season, I think I said to you on this podcast that I thought he was the best running back I've ever seen, and we fought about it. Then it became a clip that got- No, we just argued about it. I was like, This is the best running back I've ever seen. I'll send out the... It's somewhere on Twitter. We cut a social clip about it. Then when he heard his knee, and then he was in the Giants, and it became one of those like, Oh, my God. That was one of my worst takes. But now I think I'm back in it with the take. What running backs that you've seen in your life... I guess the one thing with him, the pass catching, he even dropped the one today. The pass catching is a little iffy with him. I still have Payton as the best running back I've ever seen.

Only Barry Sanders, Payton, and for a small stretch, Tarrell Davis, like you brought up.

I don't really think- Yeah, Tarrell Davis is in there. I still think for one game, Emmet has to be discussed seriously. If it's 22 degrees outside and I need a running back who will rush the ball 35 times today, who's your pick? I'd probably take Emmet. So I guess it would depend. Tarrell is still the most dominant running back on a good team I've seen. Just felt like it was six yards every time. Payton was the best all-around, just special running back. But Barkley's... Wait, it's a little video game-ish with him.

This is a crazy year. I know they're not going to give him MVP, but 2000 plus. Is he going to get 2000 in the playoffs also? I don't know.

Could he get to 2,500 for the regular season play, combined? Oh, I think so. Yeah.

That's in there, right?

Well, no, it would be... He needs 150.

And what's interesting is he gets screwed because of the one-yard plunge by Jalen Hertz, right? He had three of those. Otherwise, Barker would probably have 30 touchd Oh, shit.

I forgot that they played... What did he have in the Green Bay game? Oh, 25 for 119. Yeah. So he's been over 100 in the three games. So, yeah, he will get- Even the two or three before that, the last regular season games, he was spectacular. So he'll We had over 2,500 combined? Yeah. So who's your number one running back ever? Is it TD?

Well, I don't know. I think we missed a lot of Walter Payton's greatness, right? But I'll trust it. And if we want to keep going back to Jim Brown.

He wasn't on I promise you he wasn't on on the East Coast more than twice a year for his entire prime. But the clips were amazing. The NFL film stuff was amazing. And then the way everyone talked about how he's the best blocking running back ever. He's the best pass guy. He checked all these boxes that nobody in that era was like that. Thomas hit some of that stuff, too. The Payton stuff is the most fun NFL films to me other than Barry Sanders.

For sure. But short yardage is so important now. I would say Davis and Barkley over a Barry Sanders. But Barry Sanders was spectacular in his own right, too.

Well, my Barry Sanders take, I've done this before, but my Barry Sanders take is probably in your wheelhouse. I'm in probably the minority, but I would rather have Emmet Smith than Barry Sanders. I'd rather have the four, five, six yards of pop than the guy who every once in a while can run for 70, but was always looking to break the big play. I've had a million arguments.

I would use to get him fist fights over this when I love him more than Barry Sanders. I don't think anyone has as many carries for negative yards as Barry Sanders, but there was something. I mean, you just go by. Sports and our highlights were so important back then.

We have Jalen Hertz in the second Super Bowl, which is twice as many appearances as Matt Stafford, Drew Brees, Dan Moreno, Aaron Rodgers.

Wow.

We have nick Seriani in the Super Bowl, where it looked like he was going to get fired in September or early October. And since then, I think they've lost once against Andy Reid, who is now 28 and 16 in the playoffs in his sixth Super Bowl and starting to really legitimately breathe down Belichick's neck. His breath smells like barbecue. Let's do Guess the Lines? Because Guess the Lines is brought to you by Hooka and Bondi9, their new daily trainer, Bondi9. Nine. What was your favorite Bondi?

I like seven. Six? I thought it jumped the shark around after that.

Now it's back. Bondi Nine is the best one they've had. Guess the lines. You already won. You win your first title. I got to say, My team has noticed a lot of talk with this win, and now we're rededicated for next season.

Oh, I made a nice little breakout clip of it. And yeah, I don't know what the NFL could do about this.

I won 10 years in a row, and I just sheepishly He accepted my trophy and just kept my head down. That was your fault. Thank my fans.

Shouldn't have done that.

You won once and you're talking a lot of shit.

So next year it's on, baby. This is a big freaking deal. And I don't know. Like I said, the NFL has a problem because now this is a waste of a week. I don't know what they could do scheduling-wise to make this interesting with me having won the title.

Well, you know what's really annoying? The NBA. I agree. Has their trade deadline the Thursday of Super Bowl week. Oh, really? When it should either be this week or next week. Just for Content. The NBA just shoots themselves off the foot over and over again. I've never seen anything like it. Why would you have your trade deadline during Super Bowl week? It's so fucking stupid.

Are they announcing it in the parking lot of Media Day? How close are they getting? How much attention do they need?

I don't understand it. By Thursday, everyone is either at the Super Bowl or talking about the Super Bowl. I just don't get it. I don't understand how they screw up shit like this. It doesn't matter. You think Jimmy Butler is going to the Dodgers? Yeah, they get everybody. Guess the lines, Chiefs, Eagles. I'm going to say, it's in New Orleans, I'm going to say Chiefs by two and a half.

Okay. I said, I've not seen it yet. I swear. I've said it has to be one and a half because every line has been one and a half this year. I'm going to say Chiefs are favored. And so now let's look.

I pulled out my starters, by the way. Joe Milton made that guess.

Yeah. Well, it is one and a half. Of course. It's the biggest practical joke in sports gambling. Chief's a favorite by one and a half.

Why did this start? Why did the football scores get so weird? We never had 29 29, 29, 29 in the fourth quarter. Never happened in our entire childhood. Everything's weird. The lines are weird. Everything's weird.

And not only that, I was like, 29, 29. All right, the one and a half isn't going to come into play. And then you, me, and And hence, we listed 10 ways the one and a half can come into play. Oh, the bills can miss the extra point. Oh, the chiefs could go for two. Like, Oh, yeah, I forgot. It's the NFL. One and a half.

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Well, they got everything up already.

What's everything up? Tell me.

Let's talk about it. Barkley over under our-Let's do a quick tour. You want to guess that?

For our fans on YouTube. Yeah. On the YouTube's. Barkley Over Under. Can I guess somebody's? Yeah, do it. Barkley Over Under, I'm going to say 85 and a half.

No. What is it? 114 and a half. What? He's crazy. You just read his stats. They can't give that to free money like that.

He's playing the Chiefs.

Cook almost had that, right?

What did James Cook have today?

I don't even know. It was 70, 80, somewhere in there. What else you wanted to see?

James Cook had 85 yards. Yeah. Why was that a bad guess? 114 is a lot for the Super Bowl. That means you're probably winning if you're rushing for 114.

They can't give him 15. They can't give him the ball 15 times.

Plus, the Chiefs can try to jam the line and make him. I bet in the under. I bet in the under. Okay. Do they have Mahomes rushing attempts yet? Because that's my favorite bet.

Okay.

You You got to be careful. He had 11 rushes today. That bet hits every single time. Mahomes of the playoff's rushing attempts is the safest prop in sports.

I'm not seeing a rush attempt yet. Wait, Yeah, I do see it. Okay, what do you think?

I think they jack it up to five and a half because it keeps hitting.

They jacked it even further, six and a half.

I still like it.

The over is a plus. But we like this bet more than Mahomes rushing yards, right? Because of the nail down factor.

It takes a gigantic- The nail down factor kills the rushing earth thing. They got to figure that out.

But you get three free.

We didn't talk about that moment today when the official was slapping Washington with the newspaper paper because they kept jumping off sides. And he's like, if this happens one more time, we're awarding a score to Philadelphia. So what would have happened from a gambling standpoint? Who gets the score? I don't know.

Oh, right. We were trying to figure that out.

Is there a way we could Could we bet on this? Could we bet on this at the Super Bowl? No player on Philly scores a touch down. Yeah.

The scolding score. Does the center get it? I'm not sure. That's good because it's like an own goal, right?

Have you ever seen a Did the refs say that before? I didn't even know that was-Not even close. I feel like they made that up. Yeah.

It's not a lot of brotherly love being sent that way. One other play was that the measurement, and again, the Chiefs won because they're better and everything else. The measurement on that fourth down where the line judges-The two refs. Yeah, wildly different. And they just don't measure anymore. They don't take those chains. They're embarrassed of the chains. Why don't they measure? So they guessed, and then that guess has to be conclusively overrun to change. Measure it. Put it down. First of all, there's not a chip in the ball.

I think the ball wasn't hitting the hashmark, and the chain was actually on the hashmark. Exactly the hashmark. So they knew it, just missed it.

Interesting. All right. This is a $500 billion league. Put a freaking chip in the ball. It's one thing if the guy's knee is down, but if we're really just measuring to see where the ball furthest the ball got, I think we could do that.

Wow, you're going to put a chip in the ball guy?

Well, what are we doing?

The chain. Do you get along with the... Make Gold Post hires guys? Do you guys have meetings together or you're like, Rival gangs?

This is a big meeting. It's also an AA meeting. But bringing chains out there. Like, these guys are surveyors in the 1650s. It's a little stupid.

So what do we have for the Over Under? Can I guess that one?

Oh, yeah, sure. That's easy. That's right there.

I mean, not easy. 49. 5?

Now I lost it. 49. 5 is exactly right. You know what? I'll give you a win for this week. I'll give you that win for that.

I got one. The two games today went crazy over.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, over by 15, 20 points. Usually, there was a lot of dialog about, well, Eagles, Washington. Each team only gets seven possessions. There'll be these slow games. It was like, No, that's wrong. And then KC Buffalo, they kept moving the ball up and down the field.

And last week was it the over 4-0? No, Chiefs Texans went under. But we had Eagles's Rams had 50, Bill's Ravens had 52, and the Lions Commanders had 76. So, yeah, you had five out of last six go over in cold weather, most of those games.

For a Super Bowl rematch, there's not a lot of those either. Pat's Giants was probably the most famous one of this century, but we've had some other ones. When we were growing up, Stealers, Cowboys was an exciting rematch. I get the feeling people now don't rematches as much. Just the KC Philly, We've already done this. I've already done the Jalen Hertz thing. People like to complain. I've already done the Holmes thing. Yeah, it would Buffalo or Washington being in there would have been content father. But I think this is a really good game.

It's great. First of all, Fox is delighted and the NFL is delighted, right? Because you got Hertz, you got Barkley, you got Mahomes, you got Taylor, everything. If the Rizelar shows up again, I don't know. But I think the casual fan probably is bummed about this matchup a little bit. No question. I think maybe Cowboys Chiefs would bum them out a little more. But other than that, I think this is right up there.

My son who follows football on TikTok and through YouTube Shorts, he watched most of the second half with me. At one point, he turned to me and said, Dad, isn't every football season the same? The bills come super close, and then they lose. The Chiefs make the Super Bowl, they play somebody from the other team. It seems good. Then the Chiefs win. I was like, No, you're wrong.

I'm going to lie to you right now. No.

That's not true at all, son. Every season is way It's different.

There's no chip in the ball. Of course, it's the same.

Yeah. Now, Jaden Daniels, you never know, son. Jaden Daniels last week in Detroit, you shocked the world, son.

Yeah. Mcdermott is not going to blow this game. Well, you could just tell him that every year he could rely on a great AFC title match, right? Like seven of the last nine have been seven points, decided by seven points or fewer.

I always impressed my son by predicting what plays going to happen. I've been playing a lot of Madden lately. I'm like, Oh, empty back. I think he's going to... And half the time... That's how predictable some of these plays are, though. I think it's actually a bad sign if I'm on my couch and I could figure out where the ball is going half the time. But especially on those swing screen passes, you can see. Do you do that when you're watching the games? Do you try to predict what they're going to do? Sure. Yeah.

Everyone wants to be like Romo in that regard. I just can't.

When I get- Romo doesn't do it anymore.

Yeah. I think he's... I don't know because people are assholes and they're like, We don't want to hear what's about to happen. So stop circling the screen. I don't think he was told to stop, but I think he's just like, Forget it.

The one I got wrong, I would have bet my life on. It was before the Samuel touch down with Buffalo tied it. It was like third in goal from the five. I would have bet my life that Alan was going to do the QB draw on that play. He was going to take off. Yeah. I just think it's been so obvious. They've been relying on it to the point that I think even they realized they probably can't do it.

I Can I ask you when the shotgun from the one started?

Well, listen, you know that's my... You know my least favorite plays are... I hate it. Fourth in goal or fourth and short, fourth and one, the QB not over the center. To me, you're just throwing away an advantage.

Who started it? Did it start in college? Was it like, Vince Young or Thibault? It wasn't that long ago. It wasn't in the '70s or '80s. I really feel like it's- It's the cousin of...

It's a tie NBA game with under 10 seconds left, and they do the ISO, where then the guy does a step back three to win the game. But it was a tie game. It's like, we just need a basket. We don't need to do your step back 27 footer. Same thing for the shotgun snap. I don't understand it. I also don't understand why Mahomes doesn't sneak, which we always talk about. Because he got hurt that one time, five years ago. They can't sneak him anymore. He can't just lean down and burrow in and go for half a yard?

Yeah. Although I'll say that fourth and two where they rushed up to the line after a time out and he rolled right. It's like, wow, this guy's got it, man. This is why it's so freaking hard to beat them.

It's really impressive. We have two weeks to talk about the Super Bowl on your podcast, on my podcast. People are going to be in New Orleans, a whole bunch of things. You have a new Cowboys coach.

We could skip. We can go right to the parent corner, right? We don't have to talk about You hired Marty Schottenheimer's son, Brian. They are related. I had a feeling.

I wouldn't say Brian was a Red Hot coaching candidate, which might be a good thing or a bad thing. He's the guy I would have expected, Oh, the Patriots have hired Brian Schoetenheimer as the QB coach for Drake May. I'm like, Good hire, veteran. He's your head coach. I don't understand it. Why didn't you hire Cliff Kingsbury? At least he's from Texas and he's young and you could make excuses for the It's like maybe you didn't get along with Kyla Murray. I don't understand Brian Schoenheimer at all.

I don't understand it either. And nothing against the guy. I'll give him a chance. I hope he does well. But I really think Jerry Jones is fucking with us. I mean, the way he's even introduced him, he's like, he was known as a career assistant. It's like, yes.

Yeah, great, Jerry. That's what we're all thinking. Career assistant.

That's what he said. That's how he... He's not just Brian anymore. He's the head coach. I'm like, you just don't care about us. You don't care about this team. This is just a joke. I I want to enter the fan trend, the portal. I really want to get into the portal and pick a different-No, you're fine. Look what Joe House did. No, you're fine.

No, look at the Washington fans this year. You got to stay with the marriage. But Joe House- Stay with your bad, unhappy I hate to watch the Washington team until they switched ownership.

And now he gets a seating the luxury box, courtesy of Washington. I'm like, All right, I'll do that. Why can't I just watch from afar? This is disgusting. Brian Schoenheimer, like you said, wasn't on anybody's list. It's like in fantasy, if you're doing a snake draft and someone drafts in the seventh round, drafts Ray McCloud, and you're like, All right, wait, hold on. I'm still looking down my list to cross the line.

You're making the joke. Hold on. I got to get to page 12.

Got to keep going. There's something to be said about at least going through the motions and interviewing a Kellenmore or a Flores.

Is Jones broke? Is it possible he doesn't have as much money anymore because he paid Mike McCarthy to the last minute of the contract and then just let it expire. Then he's obviously trying to save money with this coaching hire. Really weird. He's an actor. There are better versions of this guy out there. Maybe the landman thing. I think he said that.

He's like, I'm an actor. I can fall back on that if the team's bad, and the team will be bad. That's just nonsense.

It was an interesting one because the Jets interviewed, I think, 230 possibilities for their head coach, and I don't even think he cracked that list. They were interviewing people that you didn't even know were still professionally working. Yeah.

He's our guy. He's been in the building three years, and they still have to interview him. The funny part is that they actually interview him. Like, yeah, I think you know what you're getting with him. It's fine, but I'm so fine.

Does the interview start like, Brian, what went wrong with your career?

Why are you still here, Brian?

Why did it peak five years ago? Conversely, I'm on a absolute high with the Patriots again. Why not? This, Vrabel, Vrabel is putting together this awesome coaching staff that's the complete opposite of what we had last year. We have all these over... We have Doug Marrone. Doug Marrone almost beat the pats in a round three playoff game five years ago. He was a good head coach. I'm really pumped. I really feel like... I think the Washington thing has given all the Pats fans so much energy that it's like, They did this in a year. They just They hit the quarterback, they did all that. So now I'm going to be more into this NFL draft than I was last year.

It's so funny how Washington has affected other teams near the bottom, right? Yeah. It's the exact opposite effect on Dallas because now we have Jaden Daniels in our division for anywhere from next year to the next twelve years, right?

And we celebrate. He even took a win today, I felt like. I thought he was... Maybe a couple of passes were a little low, but for the most part, his poise and the way he kept them at that two-point conversion he had was great.

I just thought he had so much fun watching him. He still seems very cool. He's very cool. Never freaks out through a couple of bad passes, but it's to be expected. I mean, how many weeks are you going to do this for?

Well, the cool thing for us, selfishly, just for the Sundays where we're trying to watch all these games at once, we just want as many fun QBs as we can get. Now it seems like at least May and Daniels are two more to the list. Hopefully, Caleb can get there. Hopefully, Hopefully, Herbert will take some leap. Hopefully, the new Jacksonville coach will resuscitate Lawrence. We might get into a situation where half of the teams have a fun QB.

Wouldn't that be something? Yeah.

I I knew JJ McCarthy's good.

Fun QBs and-Dax coming back? And bad coaches, shut up, are what's going to keep guest lines going for another 17 years.

Well, the one thing we know is we're always going to have bad owners and bad coaches. By the way, the Celtics, here's a little tidbit. The Celtics, it was the first round of the buyers that they had to cut down all the prospective buyers. I don't know, five people made the first around four or five people. One of the people was the Eagles owner. Really? Jeffrey Loury, who's apparently from Massachusetts. Because there's been a couple like, I I don't know who these guys are. And there was a couple I couldn't figure out, but that's one that is in the mix.

Do you like that? I mean, that happened with your Red Sox, too, right? Isn't there like the whole- So the precedent is Josh Harris on the Sixers, and then bought Washington's football team.

The Crockies owned the Nuggets and he on the Ram. So there's been a couple of NBA, NFL things. But I mean, I always thought the Eagles were one of the best run football teams, right? Sure. So if If he bought the Celtics, that's a decent outcome. There's a couple of decent outcomes in this.

It's so funny how there's only a few owners, there's only a few quarterbacks to get, and there's only a few coaches. If you don't get them, you're screwed.

Yeah, and you're way more likely to have a mediocre to bad coach and a bad owner. All right. Anything else before we hit parent corner? Did you hit the sad point of this season yet? Oh, yeah. Where you're just going to like wrestling tournaments on a Saturday and thinking about how you have no games on a Sunday.

That is pretty sad. I told you, when you can't three-team teaser unless you use the over-under. That's a milestone.

That's the official sadness day.

Really bad. Really sad. And after next week, after we do our prop podcast, that'll be sad, too. It's a step. What are you going to do?

Parent Corner, you go first.

All right, I'll go first. Speaking of wrestling tournament. So, yeah, wrestling season is coming to a merciful end for me. And so that's my middle kid. And my youngest kid has traveled baseball and rec league basketball. So Saturday, I have to go from Jack- Rec league basketball?

Yeah.

Oh, he's all about basketball, too. It's fun. It is fun at that age, running around. So Saturday, I have to go from Jack's tournament to Harrison's basketball game. I'm going to catch just the end of his basketball game. So I walk in there. It's the fourth quarter, and I see my wife there. And the game, it's 1817. And she's talking to this woman seated next to her, and I have no idea who the woman is. And I mentioned that. I was like, wow, the gym seems tense. And my wife's like, yeah, the reps aren't calling anything. These kids are really going at it. And then she goes back to talking to this woman that I don't know. And then It's clear to me. I'm like, well, she must be guessing that the reps aren't calling anything because she's not watching a second of this. And so I'm starting to get annoyed. I'm like, it's 18: 17 with two and a half minutes left. Harrison's taking shots and he's playing defense and everything. But anyway, okay. So She's still talking to this woman. There's eight seconds left. We're up by three. The opponent inbound it, dribbles down the court, runs down the court.

And just before he pulls up for the three, Harrison hard fouls him. Before he goes in a shooting motion. And I was like, that's freaking smart. That's one of the smartest things my kids have done.

The announcement must have loved it.

The announcers loved it. The gym did not love it. The referees didn't love it either. And everyone's like, oh, boy. But now there's point What was the hard foul?

Was it like a shove or was it like a karate chop?

Right, right. Shove to the chest, maybe a little elbow. Kids off balance.

This is great.

Way before the shot, definitely before the shot, but he saw that the kid was about to pull up. And there's 0. 6 on the clock. And there's like, no, it's not a shooting foul. And they're just going to inbound it. And the ref mildly scolts Harrison, much like the refs did to... Sorry, who played Philly today already lost Washington when they were jumping off sides over and over and over. But he's like, game's over. And so that was it. And everyone's like, oh, man. Oh, boy. All right. So I was like, oh, jeez. I can't wait to high five him in private later.

It's like a small fist pump? Yeah.

And then the kid who he shoved is crying after the game. And I say, now I'm by my wife and this woman. I'm like, oh, God, look at this. This kid's crying now. And she turns to me and mouths That's this woman's son. His name is Bob. I'll say Bob because I don't want to say the real name, but that's off by one letter. She's like, that's Bob and this woman's son. I'm like, oh, shit. Now she's looking at me. And so now I have to eat shit a little bit. I let a minute pass and I go up to her after the game and I'm like, Hey, I just want to let you know. Bob played a great net game. She's given me to look like, Yeah, I fucking saw you walk in with four minutes left in the game. Don't give me this crap. You didn't even see him Anyway. Oh, you made it worse. I made it worse. She didn't say that, but she gave me that look. But anyway, talking to Harrison afterwards, I'm like, Look, you're not supposed to... I was like, Dad, we lost a game like that last week.

I wasn't going to let him get the shot off. That's my boy.

That's good. That's good. Hard-nosed stuff. I like it.

That's it. So I'm the jerk, again.

So 10 and 11, Harrison's 11? Yeah. Those are really emotional ages for boys' sports. There's a lot more crying than I was ever prepared for in the baseball and the basketball. Kids really melt down. It made me think how funny it would be if we did this as adults, if it was in the game today. Like, Dawn Cacade drops the pass. He's just sobbing on the sidelines. When did they grow out of that? At age 12? We do this as gamblers.

Well, what's interesting with basketball from 10 to 11, which makes it even more intense. At 11, They start calling Double Dribble a lot, and they start calling double dribble a lot, and they start calling travel, and you could play backcourt defense. It gets pretty rough and stupid. Yeah, 10 and under, you couldn't play defense until he crossed half-court.

Yeah, because I was visiting our cousin Jimmy yesterday in South Bay, and I called you to see if you were around, and I just heard whistles in the background. I'm like, Oh, I forgot. On Saturday, you just drive around a different My son gets scared. Sporting events.

Yeah, that was it.

My Parent Corner. My wife went away for a couple of days with some friends. She still lives here. It's not a Michelle Obama thing. I was left alone with me and Ben and the dog, Murf, who, if you've noticed, has not been really on Parent Corner all year because he's four. He really has blossomed into a great dog, mature, no accidents. We have gates in any of the rooms in the house, anything like that. My son had a friend over, and they made a cake. It was a female friend. He left the... There's the Frosting. I think he left the Frosting on the counter, but maybe not enough distance for Murf not to get it. I come home on Thursday and in the TV room, there's just a remnants of something and it's white. It almost looks like somebody spilled cocaine powder. And I'm like, What is that? I'm smelling it. It just smells like icing. And I'm like, Oh, my God, Ben. So now I'm on Murf watch. Nothing's happening. Then Saturday morning, the apocalypse. I noticed him sneak away a couple of times. Usually, he's always where I am if I'm home, and I noticed him sneak away a couple of times.

Where Murf? Where are you going? He's like, I'll be right back. It was a poopocalypse. My office that I'm in right now, multiple shits.

I could smell it.

Our living room, which we had a gate so that nobody could go in there. That was a dog for months and months. Finally, we don't need the gate. It's ugly. Murf never goes in there. Double shit on the rug in there. The What was the other place? Then the TV room. Ruined the rug. Three different shits. I had already closed the doors. Anyway, we have this machine that I would recommend anybody as a dog who likes to shit in their house. This water tank machine where you can scrub it and it picks the shit up. I saved two of the rugs, but I haven't saved the third one. He ruined it. Last night, I was like, I didn't have a good night's sleep Friday night. I'm like, Last night, I'm like, Hopefully, the shit's done. I lock all the doors. He's locked in. In our bedroom, there's no rug for him to pee on. The bathroom door is closed. There's nothing he can get to. I'm like, Now I can just get a good night's sleep. Got the pod tonight with the two games. I just want to be rested and prepared. Fall asleep at one o'clock.

2: 45, I just hear him circling around in the room, which means he to go. Bring him down. It's pouring rain. Goes out. He does whatever, comes back, towel him off. Hour and a half later, we repeat it again. 5: 45, let's do it a third time. Now I'm up, and I've been up since 5: 45, so I don't know what I look like, but three shits. I haven't told my wife because she's away. I guess if she hears this, this is how she's going to find out.

I was just going to ask. Who will get in person? Well, did you reprimand your son or no?

Oh, he's like, It wasn't my fault. He shouldn't have jumped on the counter. I'm like, No, it's 100% your fault. If you leave something on the counter, if you left poison on the counter and he ate it and he died, is that his fault or yours? He's a dog. He has an IQ at 20. So I've been mad at him all weekend. I've never picked up this many shit. So it was like he had never shit in the house. And then it was like a year and a half of shit saved up. Jesus. Just dropping them everywhere. Anyway, Murf's back.

What did they make? A wedding cake? What the fuck? How much ice did he eat?

I don't understand. Then I was like, Do I have to take him to the vet today? I'm like, I'm not fucking taking the vet. The games are about to come on. If he dies, he dies. I was like, Rock, it was like Drago.

It's a creed. But it was just...

I actually felt bad for him because last night, I was like, I'm not even bringing him in. Just stay outside for two hours. Then I I forgot about him. I was watching a movie for Rewatchables. Then I remember, I heard him barking, came back down, I brought him in, and he was so emotionally destroyed. You left me out there. I didn't think you were going to come get me. Anyway, it's been a roller coaster weekend, and I've had, I think, three hours of sleep. Wow.

Can I say something?

You said- The lesson is don't get a dog.

No, wait on the dog or at least get that rug cleaner for sure. You said the dogs have an IQ of 20. This sounds like a smart dog. When you say the dog left the room to do all this, He knew. That makes me think sometimes that dogs are smarter than humans. He had the wherewithal to be crafty enough or embarrassed enough or whatever it was to do it in another room for just temporary.

It's almost like a cheating spouse where it's like, I'll be right back. I just got to go to the bathroom, and then they're on a phone call in the closet.

I thought you said she went away with her friends. I thought it was... Oh, the dog. The dog.

Yeah. No, he's like, I'll be right back. Just going to go get some water. It's like, What rug? I haven't had shit on yet. Anyway, I'm looking at our chat.

What are they saying?

People... Chris Schemmer says, I love how Bill still contends he's never done blow. I have never done cocaine. I swear on my kids. I'm not even positive I've been in the same room with it. I'm very virginal with cocaine. I'm not going to ask you if you've done it.

I've not done it. I had the opportunity because I had gambling money once to loan my roommates who were dealing it money. He's like, You give me $150 and you can make 600. By the end of it, I was like, I don't know why I said no.

It started good for us.

Wasn't even doing that.

Anyway, Murf ruined my weekend. It looked like the two bets were going to ruin my weekend. Then the chiefs came through, which brings us full circle. There we go. Can always count on the Kansas City Chiefs to save your weekend, especially when they're the second team. I thought Romo was outstanding today. I want to mention that as well.

Really good.

I really thought he did a great job. Romo, we were in rough shape with him a couple of years ago. It just didn't seem like he was putting in the work, but it feels like he is.

Well, I like it because even last week, a little tiny bit wishy-washy. I was like, Oh, man, is he just not a cold weather announcement? But now he came back.

I think he did cocaine.

I think that's what it was.

That's it for PanraCorder. That's it. So next time I see you will be next Sunday. We're going to be doing our annual Super Bowl Props podcast.

I love There's like 150 up already. It's not even Monday. This is terrific. It's amazing. We always just have to wait until the second week.

I have a quick MBA thing for you. You know we had that Pacers bet? Oh, yeah.

Tell everybody what that is.

Tell me because I forgot. No, we did. Well, it's Pacers over, Minnesota under, Sacramento under. We did like four weeks ago. Now it seems like Sacramento might screw us because we need them to be under 42. I think the Pacers are about to make a little run here. I'm just talking about from a gambling standpoint next couple of weeks. They have all their guys back. I just think there's something interesting about them that I've been monitoring. What did we get? I love the teams in each conference. And I think Golden State is on the flip side. Did you see this, that Golden State is one and 20 after the third quarter when they don't have a lead? To me, Golden State, if they don't make a trade, this season is a punt. Free-fall. Yeah.

What did we get the Pacers at?

We're I'm going to hit that one. We got it at like 41 and a half.

Okay, so it's 46 and a half, but you wouldn't double back on it, would you? That's too much.

Oh, for regular season wins? Yeah. What's their record?

That doesn't matter. I don't know. Their record is- They are 25 and 20.

So 47, they'd have to go 22.

22 and 15. 22 and 15?

22 and Yeah. That's pretty good.

That seems like it comes out until last week.

Yeah. Yeah, at least. Well, we already had that.

Yeah, I was just wondering. I don't even know how you play them at this point. What more?

46 and a half is high. We definitely hit that one. Golden State is 41 and a half now. And unless they do a desperation trade, that one might be going under. The only other one that I think... I can't believe I'm saying this, but the Lakers look good in that Celtic game. I know. Then they look good against the Warriors. I'm starting to wonder if maybe they found a little something because there's a physicality to them. I wrote them off. I thought they should have traded Anthony Davis, and it's only two games. I'm not zigzagging, but I'm just watching them because I saw a team in that Boston game in person that just seemed like they were figuring out an identity that I didn't think they had. And then they did the same thing against Gold State.

This was a tough stretch.

This was a physical team. Yeah.

They They three of the next four games, or they're in that four-game run that was going to be tough. I bet them to make the play in. I'm like, Oh, they're definitely going to get in the play in because you could do that on Fandil. Now, they're minus 2. 20. You think they could actually make it? Well, now they're minus 2. 25 to make the play off.

Yeah, there's seven games over 500. I wasn't even considering them potentially being good until those last two games because they're defending way better than they did. They They have enough shooters now. Gabe Vincent's given them something that he was not giving earlier in the season. I don't want to put playing a flag on it yet, but I might have been wrong about them.

Well, I thought for sure once they let Bronnie go to the G League, I'm like, That's a mistake. They're going to regret sending that generational talent somewhere else. Who knows if he even comes back if they want him.

No, Bronnie is the best thing that happens to go into Laker games now because people they want to see him, but usually the game's over. I took Hinch to the Laker game. We got out of there. We were out of the garage in 30 seconds because it was the easiest time to... Oh, really? Yeah, Lakers are up 20. Usually, people are fleeing, but everybody wanted to stick around. Nice.

Everyone just wanted Hinch to leave, I think.

He was in rare form. The only other one is Cleveland. I was thinking about this for next year, that team that starts out super hot. Yeah, they're ridiculous. Then around the 40 game mark, they're huge favorites in every game, but they relax a little bit and they lose a couple. I want to remember that for next year.

Atkinson is minus 470 for Coach of the Year. What collapse would they have to have for him not to win it at this point?

Wow. What's crazy is the Thunder Coach is 30 to 1, and that guy's doing an amazing job. He lost Holmgren for the whole season, basically.

Yeah, but he won last year, though, right? I mean, I'm all for the guys that get votes, but I think that's... I don't think they give it two years in a row too much.

Joker plus 230 for MVP on FanDuel seems like really good odds. As you know, I'm not allowed to vote. All right.

You promise me you'll get the vote.

You give the vote. No, but I'll tell you, here's why. Because first of all, it's only game 45. Second of all, there's really only two candidates right now. But Denver is a four seed now. You can't win the MVP unless it's either a shitty year or you're a top three team. They're probably going to be a top three team in the West, which puts him in play, and he's having this historic offensive season. It's at least an argument.

So that's the hedge on Shay because I have Shay SGA because of you, Naha and Rosillo. I got plus 350, now he's minus 350.

When we were telling people early that. If you're just talking value, it's a two-person race. There's no one else. I would be really surprised.

I mean, Yannis is 120.

Yeah, Everybody's triple figures. Anybody else? No, it's those two. If you wanted to hedge it, I would hedge it with Jokuj. The Rooky of the Year is funny because all of a sudden, Wara Miami became the favorite because he was good for two weeks. That's how bad I still think Castle plus 310 is probably a little.

I have Sarr from the beginning of the year.

Yeah, and then Most Improved, that one always changes right around mid-February. All of a sudden, people get excited. Same for Defensive Player of the I think six man's a little more open than Pritchard being minus 170 because he hasn't been... Just looking at those odds, Ahmed Thompson, who's been incredible, especially lately, he's 8 to 1. He's having I think a more impactful year than Pritchard is. You could argue Thompson's the best rocket right now.

I remember Westbrook was a big favorite? Not Westbrook. Was it Westbrook with six man? Did that make sense a few years ago? Then it became a starter. And then It screwed it up. Odds went away. That's what you have to avoid. Which one of those top four can be getting the starting line?

Because what do you got to plug?

What do I have against all odds? A couple of times this week, Through the Ringer with Tate Frazier, Cousin Sal's winning weekend at the end of the Week and Frontier Wireless blows, and their customer service reps who are fucking liars. That's it. Bye. See you next week.

Are you doing content with Tate this week?

Yeah.

What do you want me to ask Is he focused yet on Charlotte trading for Curry? That was always his dream scenario.

Oh, interesting.

I don't know. He's all about- I don't think Golden State's ever trading Curry, but Tate's dream was Golden State was going to become mediocre. And at some point, the move was just to cash in Curry before during the last stretch of his career. What does that look like? He goes back to Charlotte. First round pick? You grew up there.

The number one? No, I know. But what did I have to give up?

I think LaMelo is in it.

Yeah. I don't know what the trade is. I don't know what the trade is. I never want to play. What a great trade.

Anyway, ask Tate. See what he thinks. All right. I will. All right. Thanks to Kyle Gahal. Thanks to Sourdi, even though he's not here. You can watch all of our stuff on YouTube. Please subscribe for us. Then I got a new rewatch that was coming to our house. That's the pot. Sal, congrats on the Guest Alliance title again. Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. Good job by the Chiefs. Thanks, everybody. On the wayside, on the wayside. I don't have a few years with them. On the wayside, on the Must be 21 plus in President Select States for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in President DC. Gambling problem? Call 100 Gambler or visit rg-help. Com. Call 188-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org/chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp. Org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gambling helpline ma. Org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support, Massachusetts, or call 1877-8 Hope, NY, or text Hope, NY in New.