Transcript of Drake’s Mystery Shoulder, Super Bowl Propalooza, and a Mega-Parent Corner With Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel

All right, we're live here on Netflix. I'm Bill Simmons. That's Cousin Sal. You can also get this podcast on the Ringer podcast Network and on Spotify. We're going live against the Grammys. There's a Nicks Lakers game. We don't care. We have so many props we want to get to. Plus, the faster we get this up, the faster it's just on Netflix.

You did this on HBO. I don't know. How long can people watch The Rift? You're right. There's a Listen, this is what people want to see. We can do this fast. I only have 93, 94 props written down, so we can just blow through it. What do you have?

I have less, and I can't wait to go through all them. I want to talk about this weekend, though, because it was our first weekend without football in a while, which always makes you sad. I feel like everybody is getting better at scheduling stuff now. Yesterday, there was a Charlotte-San Antonio game in the West Coast time. There was Royal Rumble, live from Riyadh. Then we had UFC, and we had boxing, and we had more basketball. It was this awesome sports day because I think all the smart people now who run this stuff for like, Hey, here's a dead day. There's no football. And plus there was golf. I actually didn't miss the football that much this weekend.

You think the sports gods were saying, Look, we can do this. Let's spend together. We could figure this out by doing it.

I think everybody Everybody's getting better at figuring out what the weekends are to exploit. I don't think it was an accident that all that stuff was yesterday because that's the dead weekend. We're going to Super Bowl next weekend.

I don't know that we're going to be so lucky every week to see a boxer get us two knocked off of the scalp. I mean, that's exciting. If that happens every week, sure, I'll get through the offseason. Fine. I didn't love the Royal Rumble. I don't know how much you want to talk about it. I didn't love it so early in the day. It ruined my family. We do a pool. We all get together and they had sports, so It was tough. There was no way they were going to go without finding out who won six hours.

It's the one wrestling thing I would not give to a country that's far away. Yes. Because I feel like the people coming out, I love the reactions of whatever arena or stadium we're in in America. I also think that they didn't have the wacky nostalgia people. We didn't have the doink the clown type of weirdo stuff. We only had some O'Gwana guy. So, yeah, it felt the energy was a little different.

That's the fun, the Iguana guy. You pick the Iguana guy, you have them 18. It's like, you point to whoever picked them. You're not going to win this. And listen, don't get me wrong, I love Saudi Arabia. I love it. But you're right. And it was too many... Yes, they should have more old timers in there. Now they've been replaced with sister promotion guys with masks. Even our good friend Gus, I think he was my friend first, didn't recognize a lot of the songs.

Well, there was five bodybuilder guys came out, and they all had the same body. I'm like, Is this the new trend now? These guys come out, they're jacked. One of the guys came out, they said his name was Powerhouse Hobbs or something, but it's not his name anymore. Now his name is this. I was like, I didn't know who Powerhouse Hobbs was either.

Yeah, they had to keep going back and forth to what they were formerly known as.

Yeah, I see a guy who has two identities.

This isn't Prince. I mean, to me, it's like, just bring Hornswagel out there. He's delightful. He's a small guy, right? You're good for a half dozen laughs. Probably don't have to pay him that much. Maybe they're afraid of little people in Saudi Arabia. I have no idea, but that guy, he should be on every Royal Rumble.

The Royal Rumba is the best when you're in college and you have a bunch of people and everybody draws the numbers and then somebody's shit, he comes out. It's the funniest thing ever. And then the other time, it's super funny. And we've had it with both of our kids, with our sons who they have four numbers, and they're all excited their guy's coming out. And then it's like the iguana guy. I remember my son throwing some of the biggest tantrums of his life because he wasn't happy. I was telling about it yesterday because we're just watching. I was like, What's up with this iguana guy? And I was like, 12 years ago, you would have been in your mind.

The Royal Rumble is responsible for probably 25% of the tears in this house for the last three decades.

Well, speaking of tears, we're going to do Super Bowl props, and then a little later, we have some NBA Future stuff. And then we have a very special parent corner with a special guest. Speaking of tears, I've spent the entire Last week, my guard was... We did the pod last week, didn't know anything about Drake Mays shoulder. Monday, Tuesday, I'm like, It's got to be nothing. Then he missed a couple of practices. Then they were a little dodgy in the press conferences for the most part. This is all my text threads. These are all my conversations. This is everything I talk to my dad about. We don't even talk about the NBA Trade Deadline. We just talk about Drake Mays shoulder. I have some little information that I found out. I have lots of thoughts, but I mentioned this because I think it makes it really hard to figure out the Super Bowl props because I don't know if he's a little bit injured. If this is a red herring, he's not injured at all. Is he more injured than they're letting on? We just found out that Josh Allen played with a broken foot for five weeks, and they just didn't tell us.

If he has sprained shoulder and they're like, Well, we're going to check it in a week. It should be fine. I could live with that. If it's partial tear in the labrum, and he can throw it and we have to shoot it up, now I'm worried. I was doing these props, and I'm like, I have no idea if my Q he can wing the ball or not.

Listen, I think the Bruce shoulder or whatever, he had what he got sick this week, too. He had some tummy ache or something.

Did he get sick or was it like a little... They didn't want to have him throw the ball this week and they're like, You're sick.

He's just obviously looking the bell on this game. I think the light's way too bright, right? Drake, maybe. Wait, Drake, maybe. He tried to tell us in other ways by fumbling six times over the last three weeks. Just let him step aside. He brought you to the playoffs. He did a good job. No, I don't know how serious to take this because it was all oblique, oblique, oblique for Sam Darnold, and then it ended up being nothing. So I think that's what most people are going off of like, All right, until it's a big deal, until we see it, it's not a big deal. Meanwhile, I have Dr. Chou Is Bill mad at me? I don't want him to be mad at me. I was like, pull yourself together.

Dr. Chou is the Woodward and Bernstein of this. He was immediately on it with the video clip.

He's like, Find out if he's mad at me. I'm like, You're a doctor. Pull yourself together. My goodness.

Come on, Dr. Chou. Look, I've watched it a bunch of times. I've been watching. So even today, they land the plane. Drake was carrying his bag with his right-hand down the plane thing. I'm like, Good Carrying the bag with the right-hand. Watching the fist pump he did after the winning scramble in the Denver game. Did that with the right arm, so maybe it's okay. I will say, though, I have some tentacles out there and the Patriots. It was a little bit of an off week. A lot of them were at the Celtic game on Friday, for instance. They've been around. When people ask them, Is Drake okay? He's going to be fine. You figured there's three ways to answer that question. If this This was Sal. It's like, Is Sal going to be on the pod today? I'm like, He's fine. He'll definitely be on. Or you answer it like, No, he's playing. If that's the answer, that makes me nervous. It's not like, No, he's fine. He'll be guns blazing on Sunday. It's more like, No, he's playing.

Interesting.

I just don't trust it, Sal. It's making me really nervous. Yeah, that might be overthinking it. We've had a whole week But it is his throwing shoulder. They asked, Rael, how do you feel? Are you worried about the whatever? And he was like, not much. Nobody has just definitively said he's going to be fine.

I don't know what to say. Look, you should have to play with the backup after all this nonsense, playing the schedule. Well, if we have Josh steps. 13 or 17 teams, teams fired their coach. Well, you don't think you have a chance unless May plays this game?

I don't think we have a chance. It does explain a couple of his throws in the fourth quarter, though, if his shoulder was a little banged up, because there was this, specifically, one in the... He's always gotten better as these games go along all year. It was one throw over the middle that he bounced in the After he took that hit, which was like with two minutes left in the third quarter. That was the one that I looked back on. I'm like, Oh, man. Maybe shoulder sprain, maybe they need a week. Maybe on Wednesday, it'll be like, His shoulder's fine. If he's fine, I'm going over on a bunch of 20 and a half completions.

I can't wait to see how many overs you go with him now.

I don't know if he's healthy or not, but if he is healthy, when you think we did this once, it was one of the braided Super Bowl against Seattle. We both loved the completions. It's the over because we were like, Seattle, they play safe these back. You got to dink and dunk and pick them apart. It's going to be a lot of completions for braided. I think that would be the recipe for the pats, right? Just 6 yards, 5 yards, try to move the ball, keep the ball, and he would have 25 completions. But if he's not healthy, I wouldn't want to bet that now.

Right. But I don't know. Do you think... So let's say he's playing. Let's say he's playing for sure.

He's definitely playing.

So what information is actually going to get out between now and the Anthem? Probably none as long as he's playing. It's like you said, afterwards we'll find out. This is what afterwards we found out about Josh Allen. This is...

But you can't hide during Super Bowl.

No, I'm just saying there's a line where you have to practice in front of people. It's fine. I'm just saying his completion number is not going to move between now and then.

Can he throw the deep ball? He's been great on deep balls. You can throw the deep ball in Seattle. How much scrambling is he going to do? I think part of the problem, I don't think it was just that one hit. I think he took a shitload of hits over three weeks. He had sacked 15 times, which is, I think, a record for the first three rounds. He got hit a whole bunch of other times where he got rid of the ball on time. And then he scramble. I think he had 14 carries. He took hits on that, too. So it might have been an accumulation thing. That's what scares me Probably the most.

Well, your excuse is pretty well set now, I will say.

You're good to go. These aren't excuses. The line hasn't moved. The best thing that I feel the best about is the line has that budge from four and a half. If it started creeping up to five, five and a half, I would get really nervous.

Can I ask you, this is exactly what I wanted to ask you, which trends scare you, which give you hope, which do you immediately write off as inconsequential? I'm going to read a few. You tell me a few.

You're talking gambling trends or football trends?

I'll read these. Favorites four and a half or higher, one and 10 against the spread, the last 11 Super Bowl.

I love that one. That made me feel great.

Okay, you love it. Underdogs have won three straight Super Bowl outright and covered five straight Super Bowl and are 15, seven against the spread in the last 22 years.

It also sounds wonderful. You like that?

Yeah. Okay. Pats in white jerseys, which they'll be wearing on Sunday, five and 0 straight up this season. White jerseys, 16 and five in the last 21 Super Bowl.

I was happy about that as well.

You like that? All right. Here's one. No Starting quarterback with a name less than five letters long has won a Super Bowl. Starting quarterbacks whose first and last name end in the same letter are O and 6 in Super Bowl since the AFC was formed. Starting quarterbacks with the initials DM are O and 2 in the Super Bowl. Dan Moreno, Donovan McNab.

What was the first name one? There's been quarterbacks.

Five letters long.

What about Jalen Hertz?

H-u-r-t-s. No starting with a last name less than five.

Oh, your last name?

Yeah, last name less than five.

Here's the thing with Jake May is his name is now one name.

Oh, yes.

He's like Madonna. Jake May is his name. Nobody calls him Nobody calls him... Has one person called him May ever in 2025 or '26?

You know what? That's true. I took a lot of crap. But if he actually changed his name to Maybe, then he's got the five letters and now he is in company. How about this? Just which celebrity or influencers bet gives you the most comfort. Like, Drake, the rapper, if he bet a million on Seattle, he's number one.

The other Drake going big on Seattle, combined with Adam Carola also betting on Seattle, would be my two most exciting things.

Steven A saying they don't have a shot. That's pretty good. They'll take that.

Steven A saying he could see Seattle winning 60 to nothing made me feel really good. I like there was some graphic of all the ESPN people and everyone had Seattle. I felt great about that. I think that Seattle fans are a little nervous about the fact that they're the favorites. Even in week 18, they were minus one and a half against the Niners. People were like, Are we sure? In Niners, had like half the team. It wasn't really until... I don't know. Did they even have their respect in the Rams game? What did the Rams line end up at?

Not really. I mean, it would have been-It was under three, right?

Yeah.

It was two and a half, three and a half. Yeah, it jumped around there.

It's funny because their defense is obviously really good. But it's not like the defense. When we've seen defenses just win a Super Bowl, like our favorite example, the 2000 Ravens. I think the Seahawks Bronco Super Bowl is a good one. There's been a couple where the defense just crushed it. The Seahawks don't get a ton of sacs. I was going through their box scores. They had one sac in the Rams. They'll get pressured. They're good at bend, don't break. They're good at getting stops. But they're not overrunning you the way I think the Texans would or something.

Stafford had their number.

He threw it on him the whole game.

He did. He definitely did. So you got to keep that going. And Kendall Jenner has a million dollars on the Patriots. In a way, In a way, that's good, I think.

Yeah, everything she touches. I don't want to mention this for too long, but the thing that made me the most nervous was Kraft being in a certain set of emails. Oh, I saw that. Over the weekend. I didn't really like that that much. Okay. I don't know about that. That was tough. It was a couple of tough Kraft moments in the last week where he's become the family patriarch that you're just worried the entire Thanksgiving, something bad is going to happen. Right. Oh, no. We just got to give one more hour with grandpa before we keep moving. Yeah, it's amazing how many people... First of all, the question I get asked the most is, why aren't I going? Which I've already explained.

Yeah.

People are really dumbfounded for the most part in person when I tell them, Yeah, I can't go, and here's why. And they're just like, I just can't believe you wouldn't go. But I don't think people understand what it's like to watch your team lose at the Super Bowl. No. It's just not worth it for me.

I get it. I definitely get it. But is this really going to continue for the rest of your life?

Let's say, I think it is. I think it is.

Drake maybe it's just outstanding and you are a nine-point favorite at some point to win the Super Bowl six years from now.

I think it is. The only The thing that could flip it is if my son got really into the pats.

I see.

Which hasn't happened yet. But if all of a sudden... This is happening to a couple of my friends actually have kids around Ben's age or younger where their kids have really gotten into it. Wilds was on the podcast Thursday talking about it. I think if it's your kid and they want to go, I think that would flip it. That's fair. Limping out of those two Giants games, I still think about it. It's way up there. It's awful. It's really bad. No, it's easier to be home. I don't mean to rub it in because your team hasn't been in at all. I know you were there.

I saw them win a Super Bowl against the Steelers, and it was not satisfying because I picked the over-under wrong. So what are you going to do?

How do we feel about the over... Before we go into the props, how do we feel about the actual over, under, and all that stuff? Just the line staying at four and a half, and then the over... What is it? 45 and a half now?

45 and a half, yeah. It was 46 and a half. That, but it's been 45 and a half for solid four days now.

So how do we feel about that?

I think it's like we've seen enough Super... I think it's too low. I think we've seen Super Bowl get out of hand, right? Sometimes they get out of hand early. But I feel like I was looking at this. This is one of my plays. They're number one and number two in explosive play margins, right? That's basically explosive play offense versus allowed on defense. You might say, yeah, the defense is good at stopping these. But if you throw in the fact that there's a Super Bowl, there's nervousness, there's trick plays that aren't left in the tank because you either use them now or you don't use them. There's no bad weather to consider. I really think that 45 and a half number could be off. Two of the last three years, we saw 62 and 73. The last time they played, it was 52. Should have been more, if not for that fluky Malcolm Butler play. I think it's a little low. I think you take an adjusted over.

You know what's weird? If this was a Championship weekend game, so it was like the AFC title or an FC title game, I would think it's going to be like 40 or 37. 5, something like that, like a defensive struggle and both teams trying to have long drives. You're so right. Like the Super Bowl Something about it just makes it just plugs the game into the walking machine. And all bets are off and you get the one stupid play. There's always the chance somebody can run it up. I was watching. They were showing Super Bowl all week and I was watching the The Seattle-Dember game, ironically, that I forgot two weeks ago.

How did you like it for the first time?

Well, I forgot. It started with a safety. It was like five nothing at one point, and it was just really ugly. But then they eventually grew the weed. But then the other version of that was the Denver game when they beat, I think it was Carolina, 24 to 10. It was just ugly. I wonder if that's going to be this game. I hear your point on the explosive plays, but if If Drake's not 100%, I don't know how the Pats get to 24 and up.

We could be due for that. What was it? It was Ram's Patriots, right? When there was just no scoring forever.

It was 3-3 with 10 minutes left.

Yeah, unreal. I hope it's not that. I don't need it to be 52, 48, but let's see each team score a couple of touch downs here.

Well, because there's a couple of variables, too, because we mentioned Drake's shoulder. The Seahawks are really down to one running back, and that guy they played as the backup did nothing. I don't think they I feel great about him, but they're not going to have the same pass protection. They have one and a half receivers. Barna is fine. But there's a chance with the way the Pat's defense. The Pat's defense, by all the advanced metrics, everything has been awesome now for six, seven weeks. Maybe it'll be hard for them to score. I was wondering, that Seahawks Niners game week 18, I think the final score was 13 to three. There was a lot of settling for field goals and a lot of choppiness and a lot of... Felt like the entire game was in the middle of the field. That could be that, too. Could be.

That's when FanDuel cleans up, right? Because all the props, everything's leaning towards over.

Speaking of FanDuel, shout out to FanDuel Canada, because sometimes in the in the American sites, it's harder to find all the bets. Fanduel Canada was crushing it. We were passing, and what did they have it on Wednesday? They had everything. It was unbelievable. They had national Antho bets. They really know how to do it in Canada.

I think you and I, the Southwest go to Ontario. Let's just fly out there. I'll spring for a boarding class tickets if we want.

Canada is ready to roll. Speaking of Fandle, we're going to take a break and we're going to come back and it is officially proper pouza. Let's do it. The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by Fandil. It may be last call for football, but there's still one more week to make a count on Fandil. All week, Fandil giving you a daily profit boost every day leading up to the big game. That means more chances to boost your bets and send football season off the right way. Play your game with FanDuel, official sportsbook partner of Super Bowl 60. You must be 21 plus, President Select States are 18 plus, and President DC, Kentucky, Wyoming. Opt-and-required bonus issued as nomen-jouable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply, including any token expiration, max wage or amount. See terms at sportsbook. Fanduel. Com. Gamma Prom, call 100 Gamma or visit rg-help. Com. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org. Com. /chat, Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You got to love a good deal, whether that's a quarterback on a short, low-risk contract who competes like a top-tier quarterback, like a Brock Purdy once upon a time, or Expedia's bundle and save feature, which allows you to combine flights, hotels, and cars in a one package for impressive discounts, and not just that.

But if you remember, you can book an item now, add select items later, and still enjoy bundled savings. For instance, if you're a football fan, you want to go to the Championship, Conference Championship, the Super Bowl, wherever it is, and you don't know your team's going to be in, all of a sudden they're in, what do you got to do? I got to get a hotel, I get a flight, I get a car. Expedia can do all three. You never know when your team is going to be in a big game. Use Expedia. Now, that is a winning strategy book now with Expedia. All right, so before we get to the props, you mentioned how the underdogs are 15 and 7 against spread since 2004, and I've covered five straight.

Yeah.

Did we realize that trend was happening at any point during the Super Bowl runs when we were making picks? Because 15 and 7, I was actually surprised that that was the number. Maybe I have amnesia. I don't remember.

14 and 7 would have been nice. 13 and 7. The problem is when the chiefs are staring at us as favorites a lot of those years. So what are we going to do?

And the Pats. The Pats were the masters of winning but not covering a bunch of those. All right. Super Bowl props. We've been doing this. First time we did it was the... I think it was the Pats Giants, the first one, right? Yeah. Because I had my podcast for ESPN in '07 at that point. Yeah, so I think this is That worked well. That would be our 19th Super Bowl. This would be our 19th Super Bowl.

Do you want to do the novelty ones first that we talked about in Cal?

Or do you want to do? Let's go serious, then we'll get Goofy. So, Drake May related stuff. We mentioned the 20 and a half completions over plus 108, mentioned the 50 plus rush yards, 2 to 1. The interceptions minus 138, which I hate to say it, but might be the best one either way. If he's healthy, he's going to be throwing the ball a lot. Every round, he's either had a pick or it seems like he should had a pick. If he's not healthy and his shoulder isn't great, then that might happen, too. Darnold is minus 128 for interception. I haven't seen a bet, have you, where you could bet on both guys to throw a pick? I did. What are the odds on that?

Plus 200. I like that.

All right, so we're going to mark that one down, right? So you like the double pick plus 200?

Yeah, it's weird because each quarterback, two interceptions is only plus 300. So both teams' interception is nice value there.

Yeah, the two plus picks is three to one. Okay. All right. So we'll get to the... Let's see, do you want to do MVP first or touch downs first?

Let's do MVP. Let's work. We already know the result.

So there was a great bet for this that I think we talked about on Ringer Gambling show on at least one of our shows with JSN a few weeks ago. I think Rahim was on that. I forget who else. But I want to say it was 18 to one before they played a playoff game. And the analogy was like Edelman, Cooper Cup. Sometimes a receiver can own the game. He's really the only receiver. Those odds have dropped.

Yes.

So he is- He's in the game, yeah. He is now what? Five to 1, is it now?

Jsn is plus 550, I'm saying.

Right.

Two favorites are Donna plus 115 and maybe plus 230.

Okay. So if you had to bet... So important note for the young, aspiring gamblers and people who are going to parties this week, who want to make bets. We're not saying who we think is going to win the MVP necessarily. We're just saying what is the best value Yeah. That we're looking at this like, oh, wow, those are the odds. I like it. So what's your favorite?

I'm saying both, actually. I'm saying this is the best value, and I'm saying this is who's going to win MVP. And you could go MVP any other position or quarterback, any other positions plus 210, quarterback's minus 260. I'm done. I'm done, Simmons. I know this is a boring pick, but I'm going quarterback. I know it's a giant number, but if I had to bet on exactly one thing the whole game, it would be that a quarterback is going to be MVP. Three in a row, three Super Bowl in a row, 12 out of the last 16. This is becoming like the regular season MVP where it almost has to be a quarterback.

So what are the odds?

It's minus 260. It sucks. I'm just saying everything else is a sucker bet. I like Cooper Cup at 100 to one. That's ridiculous. That's way too high. If you want to play some of the fun ones, you'll probably throw out a few defensive players. But honestly, once it gets to 21, 18, 21, 17, they're going to give it to a quarterback. It It could be where JSN has three touch downs and nobody else does anything. Then you have to give it to them. But that's the only scenario where anyone other than a quarterback gets it in a big offensive game, I think.

Yeah, but why wouldn't you pick the team you think is going to win and then just either bet Darnold plus 1: 15 or may it plus 2: 30?

You could do that. You could do that, or you could just sit back for three and a half, four hours and win. But you have more... Cup is my long shot. What do you like? I'm sure you have some good ones to throw.

I thought Ramondre at 30 to one was pretty interesting. I just thought that line was really high, and especially if Drake isn't 100% healthy, I just think they're going to try to run or bust. I actually really liked how the Rams ran the ball last week. I think Coram and Williams, I think they were over four yards of carry, but I felt like they were moving the ball, and the problem was they fell behind. They were hit the holes hard. Yeah. I felt like the holes were there, too. I like that one a little bit. I think for the wild cards, I mean, honestly, Trey Bion at 125 to one jumped out at me, too. And he has been done nothing for a while. But there was... I'm going to give a reader named John P. Sent this tweet along. It's from a tweet somebody named Pete Collins did. And it was about how Treyvian Henderson has been crushing split safety looks this year. 68 carries, 319 yards, 2 TDs, almost 5 yards of carry. Best in the league among qualified runningbacks. New England barely saw two high shells on offense. Seattle is the highest rate of two high shells, and they've allowed 5.

0 yards per carry against them. The reason I was thinking, Henderson, was sometimes the big-ass run can just... If it's a 20 to 10 win and he has a 78-yard countdown run and runs for 100 yards, I just thought those odds were crazy. So he's had two... And this plays to another bet I had with him that I thought was interesting. For a running thing. 70 plus rush yards for him is 14 to one. 80 plus, these are all in Fando, 80 plus yards is 25 to one. He's had a 65 yarder and a 69 yard run this year, twice. So two in 20 games for them. 10% of the time, he's busted one. This is the defense that he's busted. So you're betting 10% of the time he does this, but I'm getting 25 to one odds at 80 plus yards.

That's what it is for 80? All right. That's better than the one I wrote down, as long as we're giving love to Trevian. I had most rushing yards for Henderson at plus 2,000.

This makes more... The 80 plus makes more sense because then that would be like a 65-yard run, and he would get a five and a 10 or whatever, and he would get it. See, I had him down. And then the other one is just Marcus Jones. Do you know how many TDs Marcus Jones has this year?

How many now? I don't know this one.

He's four.

Does he have that many?

He has two defensive interceptions and two special teams' touch downs. And he's like an awesome kick returner. And I was thinking, what if he had a kick return, breakdown? And then what if he had a kick A kick return, a breakdown, and a defensive countdown. I hate this. Or would it be a kick return in an interception? But the odds are nuts for him. I can't even find them.

Is it 125 to one? Is that what I'm looking at?

Yeah, I think that's what it is.

Ernest Jones? Is that what he said? No, Marcus is 100 to one. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, if they play this game 50 times, is there one version of this game where he busts a kick return, touch down and gets a pick? Yeah. And if he gets a pick, he's dangerous.

You see, this is what I didn't want to do. I was all set on quarterbacks, and now you're going to make me bet six of these, including Jason Myers and all this other nonsense. But you have to do it. It's the last game.

I think the single best bet to me is Jason. I just think for value. Yeah, 5: 50 because odds are he's 10 for 125 with a countdown. If he gets two touch downs, he locks it. And we also have a really good history of multi... I was looking at the multi-touchdown game history. And there's some good ones.

Cooper Cup was one of them, right? We were at that game.

Cooper Cupp. In the last 10 years, Jalen Hertz had the three touch downs, so he doesn't count because they were running. But 22, Cupp had two. 21, Gronk had two for Tampa. 20, Williams had two. He's a running back. 18, Gronk had two. And then 17, James White had three, and I think two of them were catches. Because I was looking at, I think the two plus TD bet is we get great odds on that. Rahim's always loved that one. Yeah, that's a fun. I was trying to figure out who the best two plus TD bet guy would be, and it's got to be him.

That's JSN for sure.

It's now 6: 50 that he gets two TDs, so you can do that instead of the MVP bet, because if he gets two TDs, he's probably going to be an MVP.

But he might not. Yeah, I see. Yeah, the only thing is you got to get for the MVP, all those guys you listed How many receptions? Seven?

Yeah, you have to go- It can't be two one-yard countdown catches and nothing else, right? No, you got to be nine for over 100, seven, eight, nine catches for 110, 140 yards. And you You need at least one TD, probably two. If it's a higher scoring game, I think you need two. Lower scoring game, you need one.

I mean, Kopp had a bunch of catches. Andrew, pass interferences towards the end, three of them in that last drive or next to last drive against Cincinnati.

Well, that's part of my question with Darnold. When you talk about how he's a lock, you think the QBs are the best bet. There's probably going to be some pass interference yards, which is always weird for these MVP things. I'm just telling you now, Carlton Davis is going to get a pass interference in this game. They I don't know if you can bet on it on Fandol, but I would bet on that. He'll be a roller coaster ride this whole game.

He's top four in drawing pass interference calls, the receiver's in the league. Right.

So he gets a 35-yard pass interference. It counts for nobody. It counts for neither Darnold or- That's true. Jsn on that one. Then the only other one, it's like if it's a Seattle defense goes nuts game, that's probably Lawrence at that point.

Yeah, he's right. A hundred.

Speaking of that, I'm sure everybody has this, but him for the one sack at plus 122, I think that's a put in bold.

That's moved around a lot already.

It's dropped from plus 145 to plus 120 range, right? Yeah.

I don't know. So what are we going to do? We're going to take six of these.

I think the best bet is JSN, but I also like the Marcus Jones one. I think those are my two favorites.

All right.

I'm going to urge- Do you like Ramondre at 30 to 1 or no?

Yeah. I mean, I get it. That's the game it would have to be. I think your guys passing would have to be short passes the whole time. May wouldn't be able to put up big numbers, but I don't know if you could win a game like that. I'm urging people to bet 2. 6 million dollars to win one million dollars on a quarterback to win this MVP.

So if the Patriots win, I think May is going to be the MVP because that would mean he played well and he carried them for some reason. If Seattle wins, I don't think that means Darnold is the MVP. That's true. To me, that would be 50-50 at that point. In the NFC title game, he definitely would have won MVP, even though JSN was awesome in that game, but Darnold was like 350 and didn't have a pick.

But if you see a Kenneth Walker rushing TD, then you see a JSN receiving TD, then the needle moves to Darnold, right? Because it's not one player dominating, so usually the quarterback.

All right. Touchdown stuff. Your favorite touch down. You can go anytime touch down, multiple touch downs, first touch down. What was your single favorite one?

Let me see. Hold on. I got to find it. Cardi B, all that stuff. All right. Well, first of all, under one and a half yards, shortest touch down, minus 138. Little juicy there. It's a Brother Bryant special. It's hit five of the last six. It's hit 22 of the last It really should be about minus 180, 185, but it's minus 138. You talked about it. Pi calls in the end zone, puts the ball right at the one. We see it all the time. We saw it a bunch of times. It hurts, obviously, but under one and a half. I like CUP to score the first touching at plus 1,300 and to score at plus 260. I'll find some more. Go ahead. Where are you at?

Cup, 1,300 for first? Yeah. And then what was the other one?

What was the ask? Plus 260 that that he scores anytime.

All right, this is my favorite. This might be my single favorite bet. Barner to get a countdown is plus 12: 30. I think that's what it is, but he's 12 to 1. Oh, plus 2: 30. Sorry. Is that what it is now?

Just any touch down, any time?

Any time touch down is what? Is it plus 2: 30 or no? That's going to be higher than that. I think I had a typo. I'm sorry, America. Plus 2: 30. Any time plus 2: 30. Yeah. Yeah. Plus 2: 30. First touch down is 12 to 1. Two touch downs is 20 to 1. Here's the case for Werner. Not only is he their tight end, so he might be able to get the first and goal from the five, touch down. He's now their push-push, short yardage guy because Charbonney got hurt. Good one. That's a recent development. So any fourth and one, he's Coming in or any first down and goal from the one. You talk about the brother Brian special. Barna is going to be in the game. Anything one yard and then he's in. At the plus 230, I think that's amazing value. I can't believe it's not higher because I could also get a pass with him, too. But I like the 20 to 1, too, for two TDs.

All right, I'm writing that down.

I don't necessarily like him for MVP because I don't think he'll have enough catches because he's usually a two for 15, three for 20 guy. But he might catch a five-yard breakdown and run for another one and then run for another first down. Any fourth in one, third in one, goal line in one, he's going to be with the ball. That's a push-push guy.

But can we talk about how ridiculous plus 230 is for any time, TD, Barner, when there's JSN, there's Dix, there's the quarterbacks who can run it in, there's Kenneth Walker. Come on, we can move these up to more than plus 230.

Well, so Drake's plus 290, JSN minus 110. This is for any time. Marcus Jones is 22 to one for a TD. I just want to bring him up again. The New England defense is plus 850. The New England defense He was 40 to one for the first TD. Wow. And I bring that up for this reason, because...

Because?

Who led the league in turnovers this year?

The Seahawks, right?

What quarterback?

O'donald at 14 Did he also fumble, combined?

Sam Darnald had 20 turnovers this year. He had the most turnovers in the league. The number 2 guy was Gino Smith at 18, and the number 3 guy was Tua Taglivola at, I think, 15. Sam Darnal had the most turnovers in the league. I know. In the league. And up until week 18, San Francisco, everybody's like, I don't know. The San Francisco is one and a half point favorites on the road, missing half their team. We were like, I don't I don't know if Sam Darnald gets to the playoffs. I don't know. Looked really good against the Rams. Sam Darnald, I trust him completely. Are you sure? We've seen him flame out in these games.

No, I think he throws one for sure. What do What are you talking about? Plus 200 for both to throw in up? It's a long game.

I agree. So a pick six, basically, New England D, could also be a fumbler recovery or strip sack, plus 850. But that first touch down, 40 to one.

That's fun. That's That's a fun one. I had a combination here. Diggs and Walker first touch down because there's like a million combinations offered on Fandle. But if you like the idea that Diggs is going to score and KW3- See, I feel like you did this a couple of years ago.

It didn't work? It seemed great on paper, and then it didn't work.

Are you saying I offered a Super Bowl prop and it didn't come to fruition? No, I mean, there was a year. A couple of years ago?

There was a year where you were like, These are great. You get this guy or this guy.

I know, but this guy or this guy gives you a couple of... Then if you have Diggs first touch down.

Diggs or Jason.

In Seattle's at the eight-yard line, you're screwed, right? You just...

And then Tonga gets the first touch down.

Diggs or Walker, first touch down plus 260. Fine. I'm just saying there are a lot of fun combinations out there.

So what was your favorite combination?

Diggs Walker. You're a boy. What are the odds? Stefan, it's plus 260. That either one of those is the first touch.

I have my favorite long shot for this. If this is your Gary Russell bet, I apologize in advance.

Don't do it. It won't be.

Does your Gary Russell bet, is it the last name begins with a T?

No. Okay.

Tonga for a countdown is 75 to 1. This is something the Patriots have been doing last few games. They bring in this huge defensive tackle they have. In the last game, they brought in him and Milton Williams together, which was nuts. They've been bringing in Tonga. Patriots coach Mike Vrabel, famously used by Belichick to be a blocking back or a tight-end person, but then would catch balls. I think there's some crazy stat. He has more countdown catches than it's like five Hall of Famers who played in Super Bowl. I wonder if there's some Vrabel symmetry with him getting some non-receiver, non-runningback, non-touch-end. Like, Tonga just ran. Oh, my God. Tonga. It's the first A breakdown of his career. I like that. That's 75 to one.

I flagged, Lineman scores a breakdown plus 1100. Obviously not as good as 75 to one.

But you got the- The Lineman covers... That covers everybody on both teams.

Both teams. Both teams. Vrabel's devious nature. You got Seattle at the one-yard line. Maybe they want to put the whole Malcolm Butler thing, the rest. Like, here's an FU.

The fake Barna.

That's Barna throwing to- That's exactly right.

Number 64.

Someone's 60 pounds heavier than Barna, whoever it is. Plus 1100. Not bad.

I really feel like Vrabel is going to pass it on if he has the chance to pass it on to somebody. Also, this is McDaniel, and they do weird shit when they're close to the goal line in big games. I'm going to write down. Mcdaniel has done this his whole life.

Tom gets to make five to one.

The Drake, his odds were plus 290. He's 30 to 1 for two touch downs. When you see them around the goal line? They did the Josh Allen quarterback draw play for him. But if he's not healthy, who knows? For the playoffs, he's 24 for 141 rushing with a TD. And then the JSM bet, so him being minus 110, he's 12 touch downs in 19 games. Out of those 12 touch downs, only two of them were two touch down games. So he's scored in 10 of the 19 games. I don't think the minus One, 10 are good enough for him.

No, that's the dirty little secret. None of these are good enough, really. But it's fun to bet two or more. That's a good one. Because if they played 75 times, you might score. But yeah, the two pluses are fun. But how many touch downs are expected in this game?

Five? I don't know. It depends if the-I think it's five.

Five and a half?

Is that what the number is? On Sunday night, I was like, This is going to be like a 30, 27. I think we can move the ball on their defense. And now that Drake's not as healthy, I wonder, is this going to be a chew up the clock when you have the ball game?

I would like to get a separate box of the FanDuel CEO and everybody watching us discuss this. And they're like, These idiots just named 35 players to score a countdown when there's only five and a half touch downs expected in this game. You think that's going on behind our back? Probably.

I think they're probably laughing and being like, these guys, this is great. Every year. Their bets are terrible. Speaking of FanDuel, Super Bowl LX. You're calling it 60 or LX?

I got to go 60.

60 is upon us. Unfortunately, that means it's the last call for football. How are you feeling?

I'm not feeling that great. I know you set the stage nicely with the Saturday before, but I don't know how we're going to get through this. I really don't.

Well, we're doing all of our props. We're doing all of our predictions all week long. But FanDuel has a six million dollar TD jackpot. Place any anytime TD bet on the Super Bowl, the jackpot token applied. And if the selected player scores the first TD or the last 30, not only do you win your bet, you get to split the prize pool with the others who selected the same TD score.

If you take Tonga, that means who are you splitting it with? Well, now it's going to be a bunch of people.

We can go first or last TD. We want to go first. I like Warner at 12 to 1 for the first TD, but I'm willing to be outruled by you. What's your favorite?

No, if you like that, that's fine. I think you got to go big numbers here because like I said, those first four or five are not worth it at plus 140 and 230 and all those. I would say Cooper Cup, but if Barner is a good... You stayed your case. I like it.

It's fine. Barner, I can get the first and goal from the one following the pass interference. Little push-push thing. Or maybe they tried to run in, they couldn't get it. Now it's third and one, and they bring them in. How excited will you be? I can get a little play action. I wouldn't be excited at all.

You'll be so pumped. You'll be like, Yeah, Barna. We're down 10-0.

I'm just going to be silently by myself, just freaking out. That's our pick for the jackpot. Listen to Bill Simmons' podcast all week and the Ringer Gambling Show. And continue to place your bets on FanDuel Sports. But for the big game, FanDuel, play your game. Okay. Rushing stuff. Drake Bay, under 36 and a half or Boy, this moves around so much.

Didn't it already move four yards?

40 plus yards is now plus 108. 50 plus yards is plus 200, and 60 is plus 350. If I knew he was 100%, I would be banging the 50 plus for 2 to 1. And if it turns What about on Wednesday, Thursday, he's cleared, he's 100%, 50 plus because I think we've seen it. He needs to use his legs to help them move the ball.

So that's my first thing. So you think if he's not 100%, he'd take off more? There'd be more designed quarterback runs?

He's going to get a hit, but you're going to get a hit, though.

Yeah, maybe he doesn't take the in bounds and everything. Maybe it's a little more sliding. Maybe he finds a sideline more, but maybe a couple more.

I don't like tentative Jake, man. Okay. And we mentioned the Treyvian stuff. 70 plus, 14 to one, 80 plus, 25 to one. What was your favorite?

Well, I like the Treyvian to most rushing yards, although you crushed that with the 80 plus, it gets 25 to 1. How about this? Any player rushes for 205 plus, which would be our Super Bowl record, which, by the way, is held by Timmy Smith, who did this Washington against Denver. Is this an unbreakable record? This is a 38-year-old record. He did it in 22 carries. I feel like at A hundred to one, you have a couple with great breakaway speed and ability with Kenneth Walker and Trevion Henderson, as we meant. A hundred to one? 205? Is this just never going to get beaten?

The problem, I was looking at Walker. I actually like the under for him at 73 and a half just because the Pats run day has been so good. The problem with Walker is he's been a 15 to 19 carry guy like his whole career. He's not like a workhorse running back. He's not like a huge guy. He's had a bunch of injuries over the years. And even in that last game, they were pretty careful. They brought in the backup. They had wide receivers in the backfield a couple of times. They used Barner. I don't think he'll get to 20 carries, do you?

Unless they're just saving it. He I don't think it's lost in those holes, though. I don't want to compare him to Barry Sanders, but you're like, Oh, he's going to be bottled up after three. It's like, it really is just the explosive play potential. I don't think he's going to do it with six yards of carry for 35 carries. That's not how he would get this. Then you're a guy, too. I mean, these guys, you don't see this where these guys have gigantic, what do you say, 69 and 65 yards? That would help. That would help to get the 205.

You almost need to get two of them. Yeah, I just thought that was interesting. That would be Walker are just absolutely murdering us. This is for the Drake May. Oh, I'll do this Seattle quickly. I thought the under 73 and a half for Walker, under for the backup, Polani. This one was interesting. Jsn, 0. 5 rushing yards is the Over Under. I was like, wow, that's low. They'll just do a sweep of them. I looked it up. Said four rushes in September. They don't use them that way at all because they need so badly for the past stuff. They don't run like in the beginning of the Seattle Denver game that I was watching, they got the safety. They ran that quick sweep play with Percy Harvin that always seemed unstable when he's in motion, full speed, and they just hand it off. And you would think they would do that with JSM, but they don't. They run that play for Shahid. I actually like the under for that.

What was Shahid? Shahid's probably-Well, Shahid, that's a popular run.

And everyone got killed on that last week. Right, right, right. But they They tried it. They ran the one sweep of them.

I mean, look, like we said, this is not where you don't keep the trick plays in the bag.

No. Well, yeah, you're right. If you're going to run JSM, this is the week because you're not doing it. You're zagging. But the ones I really like, I like these Ramondre odds. His over is 49. 5. And you look at like... So these are since the Buffalo game that they lost, he was 6 for 50, 8 for 51 against Baltimore, 8 for 47 against the Jets. They took them out. Against Miami, seven for 131, took them out. Chargers' play offs, 10 for 53. Houston, 16 for 70. And then Denver, 25 for 71. Especially if Drake's not 100% healthy, they're going to be trying to run the ball. And the other one I really like, 20 plus first quarter rushing yards is plus 174. The pats always start out slow. They try to establish, try to keep the ball, move the chains, get some first downs. 20 plus This sounds great. Plus 174?

The tough thing with the first quarter is you don't know if you're getting the ball, right? Everyone's very conservative, which lends towards your bet winning, right? Yeah. And I have some receiving props that go along with that. But yeah, how many drives you need for that? You need two or one?

I need two and maybe even one if he busts a 13-yarder, which he's prone to. The other one I like for him was five plus rushing yards each quarter plus 240. Just five. Yeah, that's a good- Second quarter would be the hard one because you have the... There's a two-minute drill potential. Then fourth quarter, same thing.

Look, you're stuck with this whole this Rable thing, and he's now copying Belichick. How frustrating it was it for gamblers to... It worked out Super Bowl-wise for you guys, but you didn't know the Snap count for your running backs ever. That was a secret. Ramondre Snap count was split with Henderson, week 17 and 18, as late as that. Then it was 94% to 6% in favor of Ramondre Stevens, which is crazy. So the Patriots fans still talking about that kick return in the preseason. Give Trevor on some love there.

Even somebody like Bobo, I was looking up that. Looking up Seahawks Snap Counts. It's like Bobo played 19 plays last week. What's that mean?

Seahawks Snap Counts we're doing already.

We have all this.

God bless.

All this shit now. Yeah, I think out of all those, my favorite is probably just the over 49. 5 for him. It's straight up. But I like that 20 plus first quarter. Any other rushing ones from you?

I have a bunch of receiving.

Okay, let's go to receiving. Smith and Jigba, 90 plus is minus 128 for receiving, 100 plus is plus 116, 125 plus is plus 265.

It's a lot. Well, if you're like to win MVP, you're going to like all those numbers, right?

Right. I would at that point, just bet the MVP because you get better at it. The question for me is, are the Pats going to do the thing where they try to actually take out CUP and just hope JSN doesn't go nuts, or do they try to take out JSN and steer everything to Cup and Barna and some of these other guys? I don't know what the strategy is going to be.

The old Pats would do to put the two guys on the one on the best and then the next best on that.

So that's interesting. Make Cooper CUP beat you.

This is a big spread in terms of your best guy and their best guy. 93 and a half for JSN and Diggs is 43 and a half. Have we seen a spread of 50 before in a while? No. I don't think so. But yeah, I have a few here. Well, let's see. Do you want to go? Did you have any?

No, go. Let me hear him.

All right. Henry, catch on the first drive, plus 250. I don't have the data, but to me, and especially if there's shoulder issues, this is good Get rid of the butterfly's first path.

That's a short one.

Tied end settles in the first level, four yards over the middle. I would bet A. J. Warner at similar odds, right? Seattle, 29th in the league against tight ends. So Hunter Henry, props in general. Hunter Henry, anytime, breakdown is plus 230. But Hunter Henry, where the ball is tipped by six or more Seahawk defenders before he catches it, is also plus 230. So lucky.

So lucky. Suck that in. I was looking at Ernest Jones for that, too, because Drake's almost throwing picks to linebackers. I think two straight weeks. Yeah, that's true.

It's close. I got a bunch. Henry, over half a receiving yard first quarter, if you want to do that. Same thing. Very conservative plan. Diggs, four plus receptions. They play zone most of the time, Seattle, and he's around five catches a game against teams that play zone. He's like top 10, 11 receiver versus the zone. I would go with that. All All right, you go. I catch my breath there.

My favorite guy for this game for this category is Matt Collins, who became a really essential, important Patriot who is on the field a lot because he's such a good blocker and became a trusted Drake guy and then got hurt and missed four games. Came back last week. He's 30 plus yards is even. 40 plus receiving yards from his plus 188. 50 plus is plus 310. 70 plus is plus seven 50.

Wow.

Let me read you some of the big games he's been in this year in the second half of the year. Denver last week, two for 51. Baltimore, seven for 69. Buffalo, four for 41. Tampa, six for 106. Cleveland, seven for 89. I think my favorite at all of these is the 50 plus yards for him, plus 3, 10 is the one I would go with because I think he's going... If they fall behind, great for the bet. He usually has one big play if they're winning, so that's also good for that bet. Either way, in a weird way, I feel like he's more reliable than Diggs. Diggs has been really hit or miss in these big games. He's been awesome, carried them in some games. Other games, you forget he's out there. And he doesn't play all the time either because they keep his snap count. Collins is going to be out there a lot.

I do like Diggs to impregnate a cheerleader before halftime at 30 to 1.

I knew that was coming.

Male cheerleader, 750 to I don't know.

He only had four kids this year.

It's fine. Oh, that's it? All right. Your Mac Collins is my Keisha on booty because I have him 90 plus yards at plus 880. And it's the same reasoning as the Trevian on Henderson thing, right? Like, he busts big plays. He has longs of 39 twice. He has a long of 42, a long of 32, which puts him right in the mix. And if they do focus on digs-So you have 90 plus yards for him? 90 plus is plus 880. Most receiving yards is plus 1,300. Same rationale as Trey Henderson.

Most receiving yards in the game?

In the game, yeah. I know it's asking a lot.

Wow.

Jsa.

Yeah, that would almost have to be an injury. I think the cup odds were interesting just because if they do the thing where they try to take out JSN, cups over is 32. 5, 40 plus yards, plus 136, 50 plus, plus 225. He has to be out there a lot because he's such a good blocker.

Yeah.

He's trying to win a Super Bowl after the Rams gave him up. I'm sure that would be a huge story this week, how hurt he was that the Rams cast him aside.

If you're Cooper Cup, do you let loose that you might retire after this game? Then you get some MVP love and all that other stuff.

I would just do that every year. Yeah, I would do. Once you're over 30 as a football part, just do it.

We should say that for this prop thing. This is probably it, guys. We're going to retire after year 19. This is it.

I should start This could be it. This might be the last time we get to enjoy this. Never know. So your favorite at all these is what? My personal favorite is 50 plus Matt Collins plus 310. I'm going to go Booty.

I'm going to go Booty, 90 plus at plus 880. That would be my favorite. But It's a couple of Seattle guys, too. Like Halani over nine and a half receiving, caught 27 last week for backfields all thinned out. Plus, running backs, I think, account for 25% of New England's allowed receptions, which is the third highest. Everyone's got Kenneth Walker over 20 and a half, so I don't love that as much. But he did have 78 in two playoff games. He did it five times before that.

That's about it. I do feel good about our defensive line against putting real pressure on Darnald. I think they lucked out with who they played the last few weeks. I thought the Rams defensive line was disappointing last week, but no Charbonne, who was their big pass pro guy. The fact that this guy, Hulani, has to probably actually be out there at least, what, 25% of the snaps? That might help your catch bet if he's a better blocker. Defensive stuff really quickly. I mentioned Lawrence was plus 122 for a sack. Lawrence having a sack in each half was 10 to one. He only has six sacs on the air, so it's not as enticing as it looks. Interceptions other than the Marcus Jones one. Woodson on the pats, rookie safety, 24 years old. He's nine to one for a pick. I think he's been playing really well the last few weeks, and he's always around the ball, and he's either had a pick or dropped a pick. I'm telling you, his hands are on the ball. That one jumped out to me. And then Ernest Jones mentioned him earlier, 11 to one on that little seven-yarder over the middle that either gets tipped or Drake doesn't see the guy.

I thought those were my two favorite interception ones.

I think we load up on this category because this could be a sloppy game. We like both players to throw an interception, maybe more than that. So let's just take the best there is. Let's take Christian Gonzales at plus 6: 50. Red Hot had one against the Broncos. If you think Darnold with 14 on the air is going to throw one, you might as well cover your bet with the- And 6 fumbles.

He's dying. He's dying to give us the ball.

There you go. And so I like them. I like Emmaniori on the other side for Seattle to take one. I think there could be a safety blitz. Again, they're not going to leave anything left unfold. I feel like I know he's against tight ends. He's not the best, but May already took 15 sacs. So if you can get plus 6: 50, 6: 40 for an M in your... That's a sac, actually. That's not for an interception.

I like all the sac bets for Seattle. For the odds of them, just based on the fact that the Patriots have been giving up sacs in entire playoffs. Even though Seattle had one... They're basically one sac a week the last couple of weeks, but maybe this is the week they break out. Some random stuff before we get to your really goofy stuff. No touch down in the game is 175 to one. Double overtime is 100 to one on Fandil. A correct score repeat of the Malcolm Butler game, Patriots 28 Saw that. Seattle 24 is 350 to one. And then National Anthem. National Anthem, as of right now, 119. 5 seconds. Minus 110. Okay. Take us through some of the wacky ones.

Well, let me just read a couple more before we get to the pregame and everything else. I'm picking the game right now. I'm going to say 33-20 Seahawks at 250 to one. That Patriot score 20 points is 10 to one, 21 is 19 to one. I know you hate that. Minus 500 that Chris Collinsworth calls the Seahawks blow out when a good old fashioned ash kicking. So that's going to happen.

I don't know if he's heard. I've heard him say that before. So he gets there and he kicks some ash.

Bill, come on.

I'm sorry. They're kicking all kinds of ash, Mike.

Mike, you know. These guys are getting ash on the side. This seemed mean, but Fandel put it up. Seattle, who attempt to pass at the one is plus 6: 50. That's a Malcolm Butler, a nod. I feel like if you're Pete Carroll, do you bet this as an emotional hedge? I just...

Pete Carroll can't watch.

He can't. He's not watching. He can't watch this. It's awful. He takes his team to three and 14. He watches Gino Smith get ruined. He's 74 years old. That's your miserable swan song in the NFL. He's fired in this race. He wants to be left alone. Here's two more weeks of the Malcolm Butler play, followed by an uninspiring Raider's higher, which is going to further remind you of-Kun Kubiak already has a job, apparently. That's right. I think that's it. Did that bust break already?

Would you hire a guy before you made sure he was good in the Super Bowl?

That's not worked before, right? What was it? Was it the Philly one when they gave up a million times?

Is he going to be nervous to be aggressive in the Super Bowl or less nervous? Of course.

Yeah. I mean, Donald's going to throw eight interceptions now because of this. Team that scored three times in a row. I'm not doing you any favors with the VIG? Minus 166. The Eagles scored six times in a row last year. The year before, the Chiefs scored three in a row. The Bengals did it in the Super Bowl out here with Sofye. This happened in four the last six, 16 and 10 the last 26.

So you basically need the last two of You have the second quarter, and then you also have the ball in the third quarter.

It'll be a field goal in there. I think this should be minus 220 or minus 230. Let me see. Sorry.

Did we mention the kicker props about total number of points scored by the kickers. I always thought that was a good one.

Oh, yeah. Was it 10 and a half?

Well, Seattle's kicker to have 10 points or more. I thought there was good juice on that. I like that one.

Did you have tie Patriots last Last week for Denver, the Denver game? That one?

Did you and House have that? It was 16 to one. We didn't actually bet it in real life.

You didn't make a big enough deal out of that. Yeah, it's also 16 to one if you like the Seahawks and a lot more if you want the Patriots.

What is it for the Patriots?

I didn't look because they're not going to win. I didn't feel it mattered. But I will say, Pat's over nine and a half second half is minus 128. Don't you like that a little bit? In almost any case, their second half team, even if they have to come back, that's especially good.

Yeah, always second, third quarter, seem to be the quarters. But a quarterback shoulder might not work. I'm still not positive.

I'm ready for the nonsensical stuff, the novelty props.

Okay, go.

Let's hear. Well, you said 119. 5. This is Charlie Pooth singing, right? I think he's friends with our buddy Daniel, so it'd be nice if we could find out what that is. But this has gone under in three of the last four. Three of the last seven, though, have come within seconds of this. And there's no evidence of... Usually, you could go to YouTube seeing him. He played this on the piano in a minute and 13 seconds, but that's a bad indicator. So what I would rather do is last brave, Home of the brave. That's held over under three and a half seconds I'm going over. This is your time to show off, Charlie Poots, right? And I think it's tough because they'll say brave, and then the director almost always cuts to the fighter jets. And so you don't really know when the brave ends. And I end up arguing with a guy from Antigua on the phone, calling you Mr. Saul, trying to get your money back. But those are the old days. This is Fandle. They're going to pay up over three and a half. So there you go.

Yeah, there was one time, I can't remember We were watching together and we had no idea when the song actually ended because they cut to the fly away. We were like, What happened? Was there an extra second in there?

They're too loud, these fighter jets.

Is there any way we can get inside information from PR agent of the stars, Louis K? That would be nice.

I mean, he steered us. Did he steer us right or wrong with this before?

Steered us right twice. He did. Okay. He's freaking out that we're talking about this. No, he did. Then he got really upset that we talked about on a podcast. So we said we wouldn't do that again.

We'll never do that again. But, Lewis, come on.

Except for the two times he gave us winners. Yeah. Does he represent Charlie Pooh?

He should. Just for this, you can lose him as a client after the game. Will a player or a coach cry during the Anthem? I say no. Plus 184. I think it's worth it. You to see a visible tear running down the cheek. That's how it's explained on Fandle. That's a pretty big threshold. What do you think?

It's a tough one. I think in this social media era, you're going to fight off the tears more than you would in 1990. Where you cry and it's just the moment comes and goes. Now, if you cry, you're a meme for the next two days, potentially, especially if your team loses. I think you fight the tears off. I'm going no.

Yeah, I'm the same way. The one they go to is the Siriani crying like a 12-year-old at a Taylor Swift concert. But I don't think we see that again. I don't think...

Yeah, Seriani can't really be compared to other humans. Just in general.

I would say no. Coin toss, tails, heads, minus 104. See if you could find a better VIG than that. The winner of the coin toss, this was interesting, is 25 and 34 in the Super Bowl only. Is that true? If you're smart, you'll try to lose the coin toss. Tails is 31,28. Tals has won two of the last three years, eight of the last twelve. The last time the Super Bowl was in Santa Clara, it came up Tals. I'm going with Tals. I wouldn't say it's never fails, but I think it's the pick. What do you got? You have to be on record.

What are you saying? This is where you and I, both of whom love gambling, this is where we break. This is where I wave goodbye. I can't bet the coin toss. I just can't. I don't care about the history of it. I did. I've lost it. It's just like you might as well- You have to lose $1,000 before the game even starts to consider yourself a traditional. I was more excited. There were bets about, at least on FanDuel Canada. There were bets on temperature of the game, and it had these five degree radiuses, but it was all in Celsius. And even though I graduated with a master's degree, I couldn't understand the Celsius. I did the conversion.

So you converted them? You converted them? 16 to 20 degrees celsius is minus 125. That's 61 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit.

I think it's going to be lower. I I think we're going to be in the high 50s. Oh, really?

Oh, I think that's a good range. I don't know. I think you get plus 140 for the- That seems to be true.

I mean, that'd be amazing for the Patriots. Jake May hasn't played a game in normal weather since mid-November.

Can you tease that to 74 degrees plus 10 and a half?

I'm going to ask Fando, can we tease the Patriots with the degrees? Tease it down to over 51 degrees.

There is a weird one.

How do they know what the weather is a week from now? I've never understood Well, that's a big range, though.

They probably don't.

Even last week, they were saying how, yeah, there might be some flurries in the second half. It was a fucking blizzard.

I've been betting on the weather for a while, and it gives me an excuse to go outside. I do like it. I do like betting on the weather. There is a weird one that the coin is flipped and it gets lodged in JSN's throat, rendering him ineligible for the game. Pats gets so lucky. That's plus 250. Cardi B, how many times they show her?

Odds are she's with Kraft. I would think at this point. I don't know if they're going to go less Kraft camera time or if that will be the same amount of camera time. I think they show her at least four times.

Really? Oh, wow. What is the over and over? It's only one and a half.

Over.

Over.

Over. I'm going to hit that. She just sang on SNL.

Yeah.

She's huge right now.

They'll show her. All right. Does she wear a Stefan Diggs' jersey? Yes, it's plus 170. Or does she have an outfit change?

It could be a Chromehearts type of specially made Stefan Diggs' jersey that has stuff on it. I could see that. Okay. Yeah, I could see that. All right. Is that bad luck, though?

No, I actually think she does wear it. She's also minus 250 to appear with Bad Bunny, so that could happen, too. So you might see she has two opportunities to wear the jersey. Gatorade. I know you don't love this.

Orange plus 230. No, I like this more than the coin toss. Okay.

Orange plus 230, blue plus 250, yellow, lime green. You get all three for plus 260. Yellow, green last year, one with the eagles, plus 260. Orange, way too chalky at plus 230 for something that's happened once in eight years. But go ahead. What are you going to say?

Does it have to be the Gatorade for both teams? Is it the same color on each sideline? I can't remember.

Oh, I don't think so. No, I think that was always the thing. Like This team might go one way, this team the other.

Because if it's the Seahawks, they're going to go yellow, lime, green, right? That goes with the jerseys. With the Patriots, probably like a blue or a red.

I've been wrong about this almost every year, and I love it. I love going with it.

But what about- It's the last bet of the game. The game's over at that point. This is it. It's our farewell, other than the guy crying on the podium.

I'll get to that in a second. But plus 1100 for water/clear. I like that. 17 years ago, water/clear at a four-year run. People are health-conscious now. I like that at plus 1100. That would be my pick.

Is there a bet for the Pats winning in Vrabel doing the Can You Dig It on the podium? Because they've embraced this whole warriors movie thing. I haven't seen it. I don't know if you've been following this. Because they would have been the road warriors. They're 9 and 0 in the road. This would be their 10th road win. They're really pushing this road thing. Matt Collins came in last week. He was doing the bottles. The only thing they haven't really done yet is the Can You Dig It, Cyrus's famous speech.

If that happens, put odds on me not doing the podcast because you're going to have to tag Joe House, and emotionally, I'm not going to be able to do it.

Next week, no matter who wins, We're not going live until after the podium because I actually like some of the... After the podium? Yeah, after the first two in the Mocamont. It's fun.

The very last thing to bet on is the MVP who he thanks. God is minus 290, teammates plus 210. Listen, let me just say something. I'm happy for everyone who thanks Jesus. It's great that faith is such a strong presence in their lives. But if God is as great as everyone wants him or her to be, then they have to forgive you for not mentioning them first when you're handed the MVP award. Your teammates, though, who risked their lives getting their heads bashed in for 21 weeks and are right there next to you may not be as forgiving if they're not mentioned, and you're standing right next to them. I would say plus 210 for teammates. Hopefully this sinks in.

So it's teammates plus 210. God is who is what?

God is who is a very tough question. No, God.

What are the odds on God?

Minus 290 for God.

Anybody else in there?

Coach? There is Coach. Wait, hold on. Let me see if I can find it.

Because Drake May is a wild card to thank his brothers first. He's very close to his brothers. God, religious figure, minus 290.

Teammates plus 210. Family, plus 1260. That's who you like for Drake May?

Fans, 18 to 1. Drake would go teammates first. I think Sam Darnold would, too, unless he uses the opportunity to tell the Vikings to fuck off, which I don't think he would do.

Interesting. That's not in there. Nobody thanks the coach. That's the longest shot at 25 to one. Even Kraft would get 18 to one if that happened.

Oh, our special guest is here for Parent Corner. Oh, he is. Jimmy Kimmel. Hey, Jimmy. I know I was going to tell you to log in, but it worked. We're live on Netflix, so we can't edit this.

Hey- I've been saying to Ted Sarandos, I said, Would you please bring public access television to the platform?

Oh, wow.

Here we are. It's even worse. In public access, you'd go to a place, you'd go to a studio.

We're in 4K, baby.

I'm yelling at the kids to be quiet.

It's 4K public access. Wait, Sal was just going through the props and there's a Super Bowl. Is it the MVP?

Yes. Who the MVP thanks first, Jimmy. What would you say?

So on the podium, and you could go teammates, you can go God, you can go coach, you can go family and friends, whatever.

Who do we think the MVP is going to be, just to start with?

The easiest is to either quarterback. Both of them, we think, would go teammates first.

Oh, you think so?

Yeah. Okay.

God is the big favorite at minus 290.

God's always the big favorite, isn't he? He has some control over this, too. I guess I would go with God. I'd have to go with God. Go with God.

Go ahead.

You throw God in a parlay? Can we put God in a same-day parlay?

By the way, I'm looking at this. Seahaw's God. Yeah. Bowen Yang is 35 to 1. I don't know why anyone would- To be thanked? Yeah, I don't know why anyone would thank him, but he is- Here's one for you.

What are the numbers as far as Will Aaron Rodgers apologizing, apologizing for suggesting that I was in the Epstein box.

It's probably like 10 to 1. He hasn't apologized yet. We're still waiting on that one.

No, I'm waiting for that and his wife.

Listen, I don't want to put a pin in it, Jimmy, but there are still a million documents out there, so you are not necessarily in the clear.

Yeah, maybe I'm in all million. We don't know if you're clear yet.

What was the other? So we had, how many times will they show Cardi B? Was another prop because she's going to be there on behalf of Stefan Diggs. And the over-under is one and a half. I went way over. I think they show at least four times.

Yeah, it's got to be over one and a half. It's got to be two, right?

It's got to be two times. At least two. At least once a half.

They don't count if she performs, do they?

Is that part of the- It's during the Oh, man, I have to look.

Oh, that's interesting. That would be... I think that should count. If she's on the broadcast.

I think it's on the kick-off in the game. I think it is.

Yeah, that counts. If she's a cameo.

How do they keep this stuff so quiet as far as who's going to perform. There have to be a thousand people in that stadium rehearsing. How did they keep this quiet?

Well, that's why the couple of the years when our friend Louis K was working, and he was feeding us illegally stuff that we could gamble on. He got very upset that we talked about it on the podcast. We told him not to, that we wouldn't do that again. But I guess I just text him.

He's usually so ra-ra about these things. Like, Yeah, go ahead. Go with God.

Is he repping Bad Bunny now, too?

Well, that's We wanted him to try to sign Charlie pouth before Sunday to see, because then we would find out the national anthem is 119. 5 seconds. That's right.

Doesn't our friend Daniel know Charlie pouth?

I said that. I know.

Can we get a word to...

He does know.

He knows everybody.

Yeah, he does. Sal, the only bet before we do a special mega edition of Parent Corner, the only bet you didn't do was the Gary Russell Memorial prop.

Let's do it.

Can we do that with Jimmy? Jimmy, you know the story. We did Can I set it up? I'll set it up. Set it up. You do it.

All right. So Gary Russell. So every year I come on this podcast the week before the Super Bowl and try to pick an obscure player to do something positive. So it's usually like a backup tight end to catch a pass for a half a yard. And I've one with some no names like Henry Hanowski and Fosy Whitaker. I usually lose. But the first year we did this, actually, Jimmy, we watched the Super Bowl at your house. It was Pittsburgh versus Arizona. And it was 17 years ago tonight. It was February first, 2009.

What an anniversary. Haven't seen it in newspapers or anything.

Happy anniversary, Gary Russell. I had Gary Russell to not score a countdown minus 140. He was the backup running back, still was running back to fast Willy Parker. His first carry inside the two, he lost four yards. I'm like, They can't go back to him. Well, they did. I was like, Give it to fast Willy. No. They gave it to Gary Russell, TD. As legend has it, we found out- It's not legend.

It It was an actual long email that we got, that I got.

From a man, he says he and a woman were at a Super Bowl party. They didn't know each other. They noticed that the other was laughing after the Gary Russell TD, and they got to talking, and they were fans of the podcast. They're like, Oh, is it because it's Sal? But yeah, so anyway, they hook up. They end up getting married because of this prop. Happy 17th anniversary, or more likely, sorry about the divorce, right? Is that how it goes with this?

It's either a happy A good memory or a terrible memory for them, but it's one or the other. That's nice. This prop led to a marriage.

I'm trying to imagine a woman sitting through this show and listening to a plus 165 plus 238. It's not adding up to me. I don't know what's going on there, but happy and in a country.

He's just taking shots at us. They love public access.

We have Obama listening to this. Yeah, our guy.

Barry O's listening to us.

That's true. Did I tell that story last time?

You did. You told the story. He's probably not listening anymore. I was more excited about that than either one of you.

I don't know what it was.

I couldn't wait to get out of the brooms. He thinks we have like a boom listening.

Probably.

Sal, what do you have for this year?

Let me just say it's been tougher and tougher to come up with these because we know all the backups, we know some of the third strings, but I think I came across a doosy, which is really going to turn some heads here. Here we go. Drum roll, please, Cahal, for my Gary Russell annual prop pick of the year. Here we go. Braided Russell, Seahawks, fullback to score a countdown at 40 to 1 odds. Now, you might say, is he related to Gary Russell?

I didn't even know who that was.

He is not related to Gary Russell. He's wider than a sheet and he has long hair. But just the fact that his name is braided Russell, perhaps one and two in Boston sports legends, and the Patriots didn't sign this guy at the University of Colorado, this is payback for braided Russell. How do the Patriots not sign a guy?

He should be on the team.

It's a great call. This is like Seattle having a guy named Marshawn Griffy Jr. The Patriots having it.

Or New England having it. Yes, that's right. Plus, his last name is Russell, tying back to the 17th anniversary of our guy, Gary Russell.

No relationship. I would say. I think Clint Kubiak, now the Raiders' Coach, or in eight days, whatever, However, switched him from tight end to full-back. Couple of issues. He only has one target this year, and his hand is injured, I think, from the one target. But I think he gets a hand off at the goal line. You don't want to go through any of that nonsense again, like Pete Carroll did with the... This guy gets the handoff. Braided Russell, TD, lives in infamy. 40 to 1 odds. Go get it. Put it in on Fandil right now.

I think Fando should promote this as a special bet. You'll have Seahawks to win with braided Russell, and that would be like, I don't know, 60 to one or something.

I'd be curious to see what happens to the numbers now that you've mentioned it. You got to get that bid in fast, right?

Did Sal just change the Freddie Russell market? Yeah, you did.

Fandel is loving this, by the way.

He's probably the only one making that bet.

That's great. It's all free money. There you go. Freddie Russell, do it.

We brought you on for Parent Corner. You came on at the start of the football season, and your son, Billy, quite a character, is still in his apex mountain for Parent Corner. This is the sweet spot when the kids are really the little boys between 8 and 10. I think that's- The funniest age. Yeah. Some people might say 6 to 10, but the second half of their first decade is when the comedy really comes on. We haven't seen you in a couple of months. You're going to tell us some Billy's stories.

Well, he's still very focused on his penis. He's still all about the penis. We showed the kids Happy Gilmore, which they'd never seen before. It's one of those things like, should we show this to them? I was like, I'm going to show them. Now, that montage where Happy Gilmore has got the gas pump between his legs. Everything's a penis. Billy does that now all the time. Is anything cylindrical as a penis. Shopsticks, pool noodles, broomsticks, whatever, hot dogs, carrots. He's got them all sticking out of his pants. He walked around. He's really a lot like Sal. I mean, sometimes I just say to Molly, What happened? Tell me the truth. Something happened with Sal because he's much more like Sal as a child than he was like me. Sal is an inexplicable child. I could never, ever... Simmons, you don't need... Whatever you've seen from Sal, multiply it by 40 to one by Brandon Russell. That's what Sal was like when he was a kid. But Billy He's got this super weird thing, and this was a very Sal type of thing. He'll walk in the room and his penis is out. He's got it either up over the elastic of his pants or just flat out.

We'll see him. We'll go, All right, all right, all right, all right, put your penis away. He's like, What do you mean? I was like, Just come on, put your penis away. He's like, My penis isn't out. He's like, All right, that's funny. Put your penis away. He will keep it until he is crying. He'll be like, Why are you saying this? My penis isn't out. Penis is out.

It's there. Penis theater.

So he's praying at night. He's weirdly religious. I find on my YouTube subscription, all these Jesus-like channels.

Oh, wow.

What's going on? Really?

Did you tell him about the Super Bowl prop for minus 290 for God? You got to get him in on that.

Who is Billy Frank first?

I He says, and I've written some of these things down so I can remember this, he says, Thank you, God, for my squiggly wiggly and my two big ones. That's his boss. He has nicknames for it. He names his penis. It changes every three days. Right now, it's Jiggly Birkenstock Jake is his penis's name.

I like it.

We bought him a wetsuit so we could go in the ocean in the wintertime, and he just immediately peed in it. Immediately, before he even got in the ocean. He folded his penis up, like a tuck fold type of situation, and he walks in the room and we're in there, and my daughter's in there. He goes, Jane, you have a little sister. He also would really like my wife.

He did the James Bond in Southern Labs.

He really wants Molly to touch his penis. He's just constantly going, fight it, touch it. Mom, squash my pickle. Molly doesn't go for any of this stuff. She and blame me for it all day. I love that.

That's good.

It's good that she does. Game of Thrones, it might work. That's about it.

He also will squeeze Molly's butt, and he does it to us, too, but Molly the most. It's like a stress ball for him or something. Before he leaves for school, he'll double back and he'll squeeze her with both hands, and he says, I got to save that up for the whole day. What? Now, I don't know if I tell these guys about this, but we were in a hotel and he walked in on us. It's pitch black. It's late at night, and just as we're about to make-Oh, wow.

I'm so glad that's still happening.

Yeah. When we weren't sure that... We didn't know what he saw because it hadn't happened yet. But We weren't sure what he saw, and we were hoping that he wouldn't remember in the morning. He was sleep walking or whatever because we ended up walking him back to his bed. I had to flip the other way. But he didn't remember in the morning, and we were relieved that he didn't remember. But then three days later, we're sitting at breakfast and he goes, his sister again, he goes, Oh, Jane, I forgot to tell you something. Molly and I immediately knew what he was going to tell her. He starts telling her. We started what? It's like, What? And Jane's angry at us and mortified and immediately knows something is going on. And now he brings it up just out of the blue Once every 11 or 12 days, he just brings it up and he goes, I know what you did. He'll say, When we told him we were hugging.

I know what you did?

And he doesn't believe. Oh, yeah. He was like, he doesn't believe in it all, and neither one of them believes us now, and he'll threaten to bring it up around other people. He's like, Well, if you do that, I'm going to tell grandma. We're like, Don't you not just talk about this? Then the other night, he's got this stuffed animal, and he's laying down, and he's got this stuffed animal on top of him, and he's just bouncing the animal up and down, and he says, This is what you did to dad tomorrow. He's terrorizing us with this.

This is unbelievable. I saw when we came to your first show when you returned and Billy was there wreaking havoc for five minutes, and I looked over at Sal, and I've never seen Sal happier and more proud.

It's the greatest.

It was like he'd watched a trained assassin take assassin warfare to another level. He was so delighted.

I had to explain to him, When you come to my work, it's not so you can scare people because you like to do is just like, hide in the closet and just jump out and scare people, everyone at work. No one's used to this. Then no one could see anything because it's my idea. It makes it extra horrible. Yeah, they just have to ignore it. He was outside Just outside the house, right outside the house. He's playing with Jane. He says, I have to poop. Jane said, Poop in the Bush. Next thing you know, he is pooping in the Bush.

Oh, my My lord.

That was when our housekeeper decided to come up the stairs.

Oh, no.

He's very particular about what he wears. We will lay out clothes for him every night so we can get going in the morning. Every morning, he chooses an entirely different outfit. He dresses like a cat burglar. He's in all black. He's got a hoodie on. He's like the burglar in the security company commercials. That's what he looks like. He looks like He dresses like he's part of one of those roving Chilean gangs who break into celebrity's homes. Jesus Christ. He's got all black on, and then he's got a gold chain. He loves NBA stuff. It's all LeBron and whatever he loves. He likes Messy, too, even though we've never watched a moment of soccer on television.

But he likes the- Interesting.

The merchandising part of it. Sometimes at night, we hear him talking, and he's talking to a Alexa. He's got a little one of those Alexa devices right next to his bedside, and he asks Alexa. These are real questions that he has asked Alexa. First of all, he asks her about the weather, more than an 85-year-old man seven times a day.

That sounds like your dad.

Yeah, he asked Alexa. He said, Alexa, if it was negative zero outside and I was naked, how long could I survive? There's a lot of questions about natural disasters, about tornado, if they ever come to California, when is an earthquake coming? Can I ask Alexa, how big is your butt? That stuff. And then Alexa... It is funny listening to Alexa answer these questions.

Does Alexa uprate him or get mad, or does she try to answer?

She says, I wish I could answer a question like that, but it gets in the whole routine. And he's crazy about the iPad. They both are nuts. Kids don't need any more toys. There are no other toys necessary. It's just all in the iPad.

It's so true. You don't need Legos, any of that stuff anymore. That air is gone.

Molly's mother fainted and had to go to the hospital, and Molly was like, I'm going to leave. She was going to go to the hospital, and the kids were upset and Billy was upset. He said, Do you think to help take our minds off it, we could have iPad time?

Oh, my God.

He's so smart.

Sal, I don't know if I tell you this, but on New Year's Eve, we were planning to go to Sal's house. Sal usually has a party at the house, but everyone else out of town. Sal wasn't planning to have a party. We just assumed there was going to be one. Then Sal was like, Yeah, you guys could come over. It's like, Hey, we're all right. We'll stay at home. We're at home and we decide that we're going to watch Happy Gilmore, too, the four of us in bed, New Year's Eve. This was a bad year, 2025. We were anxious to see it going. I don't know what I had. Why I had it in my head that once it was over, then we'd have a good year.

It's like a fresh start. Yeah. Yeah, but we're ready for it to be done.

I swear to God, this is exactly as it happened. We watched the movie. We watch the nine o'clock ball in New York. We watch the ball come down. We're up a little while. Billy goes in the bathroom, we're in bed, and then Billy comes back into the room and he goes, There are worms in my poop. I say, What? He's like, There are worms in my poop. I don't know if he's joking or whatever. I go in the bathroom and I look in the toilet, and sure enough, there are a whole bunch of white little worms, pin worms, which I guess is a common thing, but none of my kids ever had this before. That's how we rang in the new year. That's how we ended 2025.

See, I would count that towards 2025.

It is part of 2025.

I think that's thrown in the 2025 pile.

We made the mistake of thinking we were in the clear by 10: 00 PM, but it turned out we weren't.

Yeah, you can really count 12: 01 as the official new start. Worms, How did you fix that?

Was there medication? You have to drink this banana-flaved poison, and everyone in the house has to drink it, and you got to change all the sheets. I don't know how I got this job, but every night for the next Next week, I practically boiled the sheets on the sanitary setting on the thing and then had to change all three beds every night.

You should have lied to him and said he got the worms because he pooped in the bush.

Oh, interesting.

There was too much time between. You know what? I wasn't thinking on my feet at the time. I was just like, I really just wanted to scream like, What is happening here?

That's terrible. I remember our kids got lice and that seemed horrible, but the worms and the poop is like 20 times worse.

We've had lice, too. Now I feel bad. If I had a New Year's party, we would have had the worms in my toilet. Right.

You would be washing your sheets. I know.

We took the kids to their first Kings game, the hockey game. They didn't really want to go. They didn't know what it was or they weren't interested, but I knew they would like it. We had good tickets. They were right on the glass. My daughter said, I don't want to see the players fight. She really I don't want to see any fighting. Of course, by the second period, the players were fighting and she's screaming, Punch them in the face.

You get intoxicated immediately.

Yeah, immediately. Then they put me on the Jumbotron and Billy was sitting next to me. Billy, now this is, I don't know if you guys know about this, but little boys, they instantly... I mean, Billy, you can't get him to talk to an adult other than family members. He barely He's shy. He's crazy when he's not around adults, but he's pretty shy in public. But man, when that camera went on him and he was up on the Jumbotron, he turned into Cardi B and Bad Bunny and Bruno Mars and dancing Barry all combined. I mean, he's twerking. He's going crazy. He's doing the whole thing. The audience starts getting excited.

There's something about that Jumbotron because in the NBA League past this year, when they go to commercial, they don't show ads. They just show the people in the stadium of the Jumbotron, and they all do it. When they're on camera, it's like they lose their minds.

It's one thing to be an adult and to do it. But I think These kids come out of the womb knowing that when you're on the Jumbotron, it's going to go crazy.

Because seven and up, you just have to start acting crazy.

How worried are you at that point that he's going to pull out his penis on the Jumbotron?

A little bit, but also hoping it happens. I'm sitting right in the middle.

Taking more games.

Jane was mad, though. Jane said, I'm sick of him getting all the perks. Then Molly said to Jane, she said, One of the King's players was cute. Jane said, I'm not into adult men being cute, but you go wild.

She's in that stage now.

She's in that stage.

I remember that one.

Sal, I tease this for you this afternoon. Sal and I went to the... We should have tricked your father into going to that anti-ice march today. Told him it was like a Dodgers parade or something like that because that would have been great. He would have been very.

They're having a second Dodgers parade.

Whatever Billy's reaction was on the Jumbotron, that would have been very, very opposite for my father.

I wonder how long it would have taken him to figure it out. Jane, this is a question that Jane asked Molly, and Molly wrote it down. Jane said, and this is a very... I don't know what's going on if they're giving her gummies at school, but she said, Mom, have you ever thought that maybe everyone is a robot? We're all robots except for three people. And Molly said, What? Three people? And Jane said, Jackie Boo, which is our one-year-old nephew, Uncle Sal, and Auntie Chippie. Yes. Obviously. Obviously. And Molly said, Why are those three the only ones that aren't robots? And Jane said, Because Jackie Boo is just a butterball, and he's too round and cute. And no way any robot gambles as much as Sal and Auntie Chippie. It would explode a robot. All that smoke from Anne Chippie would kill a robot.

I love it.

Because you're Uncle Sal? I'm not sure how she even knows this.

Yeah, we're all uncle and aunts. All the kids. Oh, interesting. I know. It could be cousin. I know.

This segment is limited, I think, because your kids are getting older. Bill's your kids are adults, and Sal, two of your three are- That's where we've had a lot of trouble.

We have struggles. Yeah. I have a 12-year-old still. Bill- Harrison is not going to live forever.

Bill Harrison is carrying us. I know. Bill Harrison is carrying us.

Parents and dogs is Simmons' go-to now. I don't blame him.

His segment This segment is more endangered than late night television. But I will leave you on my parents who drove me completely insane today. Oh, no.

Why?

Oh, nice. My mother. That's supposed to be every other day?

I mean, it's just like, well, listen, we marched in a line. We went from one end, the one pier to the next pier and back. There was no chance of anyone getting lost, but they're just the phone call, where are you? What street? It's like, just keep walking in a line. Then, Forgetting where my house is. It's like, Just come to the house. She's like, I went to 35th Street. I'm like, There isn't a 35th Street. There's no way you went to 35th Street. Then I can't leave it alone. But the fight they had today, they had a really loud fight at the house. The fight was about... They went to a music recital for one of the children in our family. Apparently, JLo's kid goes to this school. Jlo's kid was in the recital, and they were telling us how good the kid was. The kid was really good. Then they were talking about the fact that they were interested in the fact that Jalo has a big SUV that picks her up. To them, this seems unusual, right? Then they had a yelling fight about whether Jalo's car had a loud engine, or as my father said, the car behind that car had a loud engine.

You were yelling at each other about, No, it was her car. No, it was a car. It was a race car behind her. No, it was her car. They were fighting, fighting. Molly finally stopped them. She goes, Guys, I hate when you fight about Jalo's car.

Oh, no. You're only robots anyway.

Leave it You're not real.

Yeah.

Wow. There you go. That's great. Wow. Nice job.

Do you want to do a quick one? No. Incredible. That was seven parent corners.

Yeah, I can't top that.

That's good. You don't have a... There wasn't a youth sports thing this week?

Save it for the Super Bowl.

I have to tell a quick story about my dad.

Okay, good.

A massive blizzard in Boston. Massive. Shut down, you're not going to be able to get food anywhere, whatever Whatever you have, you got to stockpile. My stepmother was out of town. So everyone snowed in for two days. My daughter is in college in Boston. So she goes to see my dad a day or so after the blizzard, opens his fridge, and he has six Venti ice coffees in there, and then all this food from this place, Aben Lewis. And so she's like, I don't understand. Why do you have six coffees? And he claimed he tried to order One coffee and didn't think it went through and did it six times. They brought him a whole bunch of coffees. We're not buying that. We think he stockpiled coffee because he didn't want to go get coffee every day and bought these six coffees with six muffins, but then had this Aben Louie's food, which he bought two steaks, and he bought five children's pastas to survive him for the four days. My daughter's in there like, What are all these? And he's like, Oh, I like their pasta, but they don't have adult pasta. They have kids pasta.

So my dad was basically the guy in Lost. Who is the guy? Desmond, who's in the bottom, has to survive for three months. I think that's what he thought the blizzard was going to be, and he was going to survive on Venti coffee, leftover steak, and kids pasta for as long as it took.

I would argue that what he claims he did is worse than what you think he actually did. I mean, accidentally ordering the same thing six times in a row. That's a lot of times. Did it go through?

Did it go through?

Even Louis saved his life.

That would be six different delivery guys. Because you know how that works, right?

That might have been happening, too.

That would mean he got six deliveries from six different people.

My daughter was like, she was trying to take a picture and he was stopping her. She thought it was just so funny, these six ice coffees next to each other. What is the expiration date on an ice coffee, too? Does the caffeine, does it die? I don't even know.

It depends on the milk.

It depends on the milk.

Anyway, thank God. It's still freezing cold there, but I think he has two ice coffees left and one kid's pasta.

I like it. It's 12 degrees and he's drinking ice coffee.

He can't fight it.

Anything to plug him on? It's February's Sweeps Month. Do we still have sweeps?

No, there's no sweeps. No, we have Don Lemon.

Are they really? We literally don't have sweeps?

I don't think so. If so, nobody ever mentions them. We have Don Lemon on tomorrow, though. He got arrested over the weekend. Really?

Yeah. That's a good one.

He just got arrested again. You didn't see? I don't know. Oh, he did? Yeah, he'll be out before the show, I think.

All right. Thanks for joining us, Jim. I remember many times he gets arrested, he'll be on the show tomorrow.

Where are you guys watching the Super Bowl? Are you going to be together?

I'm happy to, but I'm not looking forward to doing a giant Super Bowl thing.

I don't blame you. Well, the last time the Patients and Seahawks played, we were at your house.

Oh, that's right. Well, if you feel that- For the Malcolm Butler game.

No, I'm going to be by myself. I don't want to be with I feel like, where can I go?

We go live 20 minutes after the game. I can't go.

We're going live right after. I live on a eighth of a mile from you.

I know, but you're not having a New Year's party or however that works. I don't know. No, I have a New Year's party.

You have worms in the toilet. I don't want to be there. You just want to go to your house?

Listen, you're welcome to come. I know my son Kevin's coming over, and you're welcome to come over, but I'm not going to do a huge party.

All right. You guys figure it out.

Bill, if you feel that I'm not going anywhere.

I'm going nowhere.

Were you at my house the last time, right?

I've had good luck when you've been in the room with me for a Super Bowl, but I'm not going to push it this time.

Well, then I look good. Hey, listen, and we'll have a reason.

All right. Thanks to Cousin Jimmy. Thanks to Sal. Thanks to Gehow and Eduardo as well, and Jack Wilson. That's it for us on Netflix. We are going to be back on Netflix after the Super Bowl podium next week. I hope I have a smile on my face. I'll have my podcast I guess. Plus rewatchables tomorrow. We did Wild Things.

Oh, I saw you talking about that.

That's going to be- That was good. Might be the last rewatchables. We might have pushed it too far. What? That's coming tomorrow through. That is on Netflix as well. Fellas, thanks for doing this. Thanks to everybody for watching. See you next week. Must be 21 plus in President Select States for a Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in President DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem, call 1-800 Gamble or visit rg-help. Com. Call 888-79-7777 or visit ccpg. Org/chat-in-connectget or mdgamblinghelp. Org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gambling helpline ma. Org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts or call 8778 Hope, NY or text Hope, NY in New York for Louisiana. Call 877-770-7867.