Transcript of "Chris Hemsworth"

We're going to go cold. We're going to go live in five.

We're going to go- Well, let's do a quick cold.

Let's do a quick cold. Let's do it in five. When I get down, we're going to go cold. This is how we count down to the cold open.

Right. Are you going to say one or are you just going to stop at two?

I'm not going to say one. I'm also not going to say two.

Old broadcast, so I'm going to go five, four, three. By the way, you're wrong about that. I've heard you say that before. Everyone always says the two. It's just the one that's not saying.

Five, four, three. Welcome to the cold open. Welcome to Smartless. Smart.

Smart.

Hey, everybody.

Jay, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Now we start. Hi.

Hi. Hey. Thanks for coming today. Hey, you want to know... Oh, good.

What? Oh, no, sorry. Do you have a story cued up?

I just actually thought on this. Our show opened last Saturday.

I saw you on my Instagram-ish thing. You were saying hi to the audience, and I immediately got a little nervous. I was like, Oh, my God. There he is. He's on stage. He's in front. He did it. You did it? You did an initial...

Are we in previews right now? Yeah, first preview went great. Second one went terrible.

I love all the photos. You look like you're standing on the bow of a boat because you're always standing there looking off into the distance.

Yeah, like Simon, the King of the World or something.

Yeah, he's proud and he's here. Hey, tell us. Okay, so tell us what was good about the first and bad about the second.

Well, you like this talk, this talk and shop. When you connect to what you're saying, it's very real and it's authentic, right? Then sometimes when you do a show a million times, you sometimes there's a little tiny veil between you and the words. You disassociate. Yeah. But you're doing the actions and you're emoting, but it's a little manufactured.

Yeah. That's how the second show was.

That's how the second show-I bet the audience, I bet it didn't feel good, but I bet it still was good.

Sean, explain to the audience a little bit because you told me that. You and I spoke earlier and you told me that. I said, Well, that's to be expected. I said that because-It's very frightening. It's a known It's the thing, right? You do your first show and it's great. It's like gangbusters. Then there's that sophomore slump.

I wonder if it's an energy thing. Like, Oh, man, I'm exhausted. Then maybe that's just, I don't know.

Then you build back up again.

Yeah, but when you're standing on the stage and you're saying the words and your mind goes blank, but your mouth keeps talking.

Was it just you going through this or did the other actors have a good time? Was it a good show for them? How are they? Sometimes you can just rely on the rest of the team.

J. B. And I and our crew were coming next week to see you. Yeah, it's so nice. J. B, I don't know if you know this. This is the best news Sean told me today. You ready? It's an hour, 15.

It's a tight hour, 15. We're at dinner before we know it. Do I get to hold the book? Can I hold the book front row? Yeah, I would love that. And be the guy you turn to if you forget a line? I would love that. And then I give you the wrong line. But can you- Or you just look to me and I just look up at you and I just give you a real polite middle finger.

If you gave J. B. The book, I would say this is a compliment.

You just give me a line from 12: 00. J. B.

Would be off book in 10 minutes.

Yeah. I don't know.

That's the way he's doing it. That's the way he's doing it.

Yeah, I hope so.

You would be really good at that. It's ridiculous. Yeah, but when those curtains open and the lights come on, you're like, Oh, I have to do this. It's the scariest thing in the world.

How was Scotty? Was Scotty a puddle of nerves? I bet he was.

He looked scared. But you know what?

He looked like he doesn't know what to do.

I went to PT today, physical therapy, because I'm standing so long on stage. Even right now, as I'm talking to you, I have to learn how to do sit-ups. Is that what they said?

You got to engage You gage your core. You got to engage your core.

Yeah, gage your core.

Pt doctor said the middle is too soft.

You're wearing double hocas, right? You got custom double hocas on.

Hey, why don't you get one of those cashier mats?

Custom double hocas.

Hooks at the bottom of my shoes. Yeah.

Cut out a couple of shoe size-like skis. Shoe size, cashier mats.

Like snowboards.

That's really funny. You're doing sit-ups. You're trying to do exercises to engage your core.

Your core. You're back, right? You Guys all know that. But I just haven't been doing that. Anyway, who cares?

Don't get me going on core.

Guys, someone who has a really good core is my guest today. Here we go. He grew up in a remote Australian community, 4 hours from the nearest town, spent his teenage years surfing.

That income.

Surfing, and at one point, repaired breast pumps in a factory for $10 an hour. He moved to LA to be an actor and was about to quit until one last audition flipped the script.

That's the way it always happens, isn't it?

He named his son after Brad Pitt's character in Legends of the Fall. But you may know him as Captain Kirk's father. It's the brilliant, charming Chris Hemsworth.

Hemsworth.

Hello.

Wow. Hello. How are you?

How are you?

I'm very well.

Chris.

Guys, Chris knows my wife, okay? Oh, really? I'll leave it at that.

How do you? Well, we got to start there.

You'll leave it at that, and I'll pick it up from there. Chris Pruetel. Wait, for real?

Yeah, they've done a little bit of partying together.

What is happening?

It's getting worse.

Where have you been at all those parties, Mike? I know.

You weren't involved?

I'm so jealous.

You weren't allowed to come? I'm jealous. Well, I lost my privileges years ago, and I think it's better for me to stay out of what we call it trigger environments.

I should probably.

Wait, what are we alluding to? What happened with the parties?

They've got some mutual friends, and they have fun, and they create trips, and they go places.

Like recently or in the past?

Trips of O'Cones, yeah.

Yeah, I think recently. Then I stay home, and I work on stuff. I do charity work. Sure. I fix the house. I take care of the kids.

That's what you call watching TV now, huh?

Can you share Chris? Hi. Nice to meet you, by the way. Thank you for being here. Hi, Chris. Can you share with us one of those vacations or trips?

They're hard to recall, aren't they? Yeah, they're quite a blur. The last When I was at Palm Springs, and there was about 50 or 60 people flying out there, and it was quite a big three-day event. Sounds so good. You were missed, Jason. But we talked about you.

God, I would have crushed that.

You would have crushed that. Back in the day. Back in the old days.

I would still be there. Hey, Will, you know what? Will, it's amazing you and I never partied.

I know. We did. We've been through this. We did one night. Jason doesn't Chris. Jason doesn't remember, but before our privileges were suspended, years ago, Jason and I had a night out. I don't want to get into the details of... But we were irresponsible in our 20s. There were moments where-We had fun.

I had some fun with David Cross, too, a couple of times, too. Anyway, done that, did It was free iPhone and cameras and Jason.

Jason one time took his belt off. He tried to climb a light pole once. I was with him and David Cross, and I only stayed late because I was looking out for their safety because they were both acting like ding-dongs. I remember I had your belt for two years.

Why did my belt come off?

It happened just after that.

Was I looking to self-asphyxiate? Oh, my God.

Anyway, Chris, welcome to Smart Mar. Yes.

Thank you so much. I want to start in the In the intro, I read so much about you coming up to this, and I knew none of this. First of all, I just want to in the intro, you named your son after Brad Pitt's character. Is that true? Tristan? From Legend of the Fall? Did you talk about it with your wife? Yeah.

We liked the name. Then we were sitting on the couch one day. We had a few different ideas, and that film came on. The scene where he's on the horse and rolls into the space across the field and couldn't look more legendary. Yeah. Me and my wife both went, This is the coolest character ever, isn't it? His name is Tristan. I was like, What about Tristan? How about that? That could work, and off we went.

How about that? That's pretty cool.

Now, has your kid grown into that name? Does he look like a Tristan now to you?

He does. He is short of hair now, but he had for the first... He's 11 now. For the first 9, 10 years, he didn't cut his hair. It was long blonde hair.

You really went with the legends of the Fall.

I didn't know if it was an influence by how doing or whether there was some...

It wasn't a Halloween costume.

No.

Did he look like mini Thor?

He absolutely did, yeah. He's incredibly high energy and rides horses and motorbikes and surfs. Oh, that's cool. He fits the name. Brad would be proud.

Did you ever meet Brad and tell him that?

Not that particular story, no. I met Brad once and a big fan, obviously. I had this awkward interaction where I went for the handshake, or he went for the handshake, I went for the hug, that in between thing. I was almost turned into a kiss. Then I was throwing him to the party My God, it would slow down too slow for me in that moment. I was standing across the room and my agent was like, he wants to meet you? I'm like, who? No, he doesn't want to meet me. Then eventually, an hour later, I was like, Brad, you're here. Just trying to act all.

Hey, look at you.

One of those.

Look at you. You doing well. Where are you today? Are you down under?

No, I'm in New York. I'm in a press tour for Crime 101, a film every morning.

Oh, I can't wait to see that.

You know where he is, J. B. Look, you can see where he is.

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's our place. That light switch right there turns on the fireplace if you've been looking. That's what that does? Yeah. I never knew where... It's going to take a little while. It's going to click for a bit. You won't explode. Hey, that Bart Layton. I love that guy. What a great director he is. I can't wait to see your film.

I just saw it last night. It was fantastic. I loved it. Yeah, incredible. Edge of your sheet the whole time.

No notes?

A couple. Is it locked?

They're not locked yet.

Always known. Okay.

If you want to give us a few notes off there, I won't take them so personally.

Chris, don't you want to do a film next that doesn't take six months to shoot and all these life-threatening stunts you've got to do. Don't you want a nice calm, like the equivalent of a sitcom in a movie. Sure. You know that you can just relax.

Yeah. The four, five, six months shoots are tedious. I know you've all experienced this, but unnecessary, too, I feel like at this point. The technology of cameras and lighting and what you do in postproduction Everything is still done how we did it 10, 20 years ago. You have 20 big trucks there full of equipment sitting there just in case, and especially on the bigger budget. You just stand around and do nothing. Then you do a smaller film and everyone's... It's fast-paced. You don't have the luxury to sit around and wonder. It feels like the preparation is almost done in a far more specific way because there's such a limited time frame. I love that style of working. I grew up working on a soap opera, and it was the we'd shoot 20 scenes a day. As the scripts were not great, but you made them work. But just the momentum you get from that and just by having your feet on the ground continuously day after day, the knowledge you gain from that, I think, is fantastic.

Learning to be good, quick. You've got to be good fast on those soap operas. What was the soap opera?

Or you're going to be bad fast, too, which is what most of what I did.

We just had Margot Robbie on. She said she was on a soap opera.

She was on Neighbors.

I did Neighbors for an episode, and then I did Home and Away, which is the competing one for three years.

When Margot was on, she talked about when she moved to LA that there was an Australian Mafia that helped each other out thing. You know what I mean? Were you part of that?

There was like a drive- To be honest, I always felt there was the Australian Mafia film industry. Then the folks that had trained at NIDA and I think Mel Gibson and Kate Blanchard and the big acting schools and then the theater group. Then I was on the soap opera. I always felt a little outside of that cool Mafia bubble. I remember turning up to a few premieres and being on the guest list, but really, and having all those awkward moments. Honestly, when I came to LA, I didn't know that whole crew of Australian people. I started working and eventually met them all, Joel Edgerton and a few folks that good friends of mine now. I love that, Joel. I always felt I did a side proper. I did dancing with the stars, so I wasn't seen as being taken seriously.

Everyone was given you the Brad Pitt handshake. Yeah.

Did you rent a A car from the Romanian guy? Margot a car from a Romanian dude who didn't require any ID.

Oh, God, no. She first moved there. Good.

Well, now I imagine you're fully embraced and it's all one big happy party. It is.

It's It is because it is such a small industry. Those who have had success in Australia and make the leap overseas and work, there is just such a cool gang of people in support It's remarkable.

Again, we said it with Margot, but it's remarkable how many Australians come off those two shows and come and have huge success in this country. It's really cool. In the film business. It's remarkable. It really is.

It's the SNL of Australia.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Snl borne so many stars.

All right, so you're in New York and you're doing a bunch of press for Crime 101. I would imagine you're going to do a talk show or two, but are you Are you doing some of the content stuff that is a part of most of these press tours now? Like, Willy, I know you've got a Hot Wings out there. I still haven't seen, but I'm dying, too.

But I saw a clip of it.

It's really funny. Have you been doing some of that stuff?

Yeah, I did. I actually did Hot Wings for a previous film. A lot of fun.

How far did you get? Did you do all 10?

I did, and I was getting really cocky and just more, more, more, more, more It's just a different game. They just stopped recording because I was like, I had to throw up, and they got me ice cream and milk. We were all supposed to go out for dinner that night, and I hadn't eaten all day. By the time I did the show, it was the first thing I put in my stomach was this-So you were hungry, too. Hot sauce. Then I just went back to the hotel room and I sat there for the next twelve hours, hugging the toilet bowl.

Did you sit down?

I didn't. I was just on the floor. Nothing was operating properly. Everything wanted to come Why does it...

I had to take the ice cream, and I ended up slathering it on my lips like Zinc, like a surfer.

Tell me slow, and then was it dripping down your chin?

Honestly, at one point, I was like, I wanted to rip. It was spurting so bad. The whole time, I was slightly angry.

Yeah, and then you enjoyed it.

You just kept looking at Louis K.

By the way, I did. I called them out. By the way, the only reason I went all the way through is because they told me, JB, that you had made it all the way through.

Sure, not a problem.

Shut up.

This mouth can take a lot. Hey, but I only took one bite.

There's nothing enjoyable about having it that hot. Anybody wants to have that shit on their food?

What are you doing? I know, but did you eat the whole wing? I just took one bite.

No, one bite.

Yeah, that's all it took.

That's all it took for me. Well, Chris ate the bones. That's why you threw up.

Yeah. But I was just on... I did Graham Norton with John Bishop.

Oh, you did? Yeah. Oh, nice.

Lovely bloke and fantastic Music film, by the way.

Oh, thanks, man. He's a great dude, isn't he?

He's great. He's amazing. He told the whole story. Yeah, what a beautiful story. The thing you can't write. You know what I mean? It's like real life shows you the better stories.

What would the sequel be on that, Willy? What would be the sequel? Is this thing still on? What's going on? Is this thing still on? John Bishop? What would happen with you? You'd go to the Olympics with Laura, right?

By the way, no bad pitches. Keep going.

She'd win the gold.

As a coach.

She'd win the gold as a coach.

As a coach, yeah.

Then you guys would go on tour doing a stand-up. Then I'd get canceled.

I'd get canceled on tour. Then it would be-Let's ride it. Yeah, let's ride it.

Here we go. It rides itself.

Chris, I haven't seen you since we were singing that song in that car on that crazy commercial we did. Carayoke?

No. What was it? It was for a video game.

For a video game?

Some headbanging-Sounds like a payday. Yeah. Yeah. We got paid.

Congrats, you guys.

Artistic integrity. Yeah. I think it was a good expression, all of that.

Yeah, that, too. It was a crazy, huge production for a video game commercial. It was a mobile game.

Yeah. Well, God, what was it called?

Chris, do you play that? We had fun, though. We loved it. We love We loved it so much.

We loved whatever it was. Did you play those video games that you need a headset to play? You shooting people up? No. Willy does that. No. Well, you don't still do that, do you?

I don't. It's been years, actually, to be honest. Yeah.

I want to know- Sean, you're into Sonic, aren't you? The burgers?

No. Immediately the food.

We'll be right back.

Now, back to the show.

Chris, I want to know about growing up and talk to me how that started and where the first love came from. What was the first thing?

Also an acting family, Sean. It should be pointed out. No, for sure.

I was getting there well.

Well, I'm sorry.

Yeah, neither of my parents were actors. My mom has more of an artistic flair. She paints a lot and writes, and was interested in acting. Then she got pregnant with my older brother when she was 19, and then had me and then had my younger brother. We ruined her dreams in that sense.

And there's three. Are there any more than the three brothers?

No, it's just the three of us.

There's three, yeah.

I grew up in Melbourne and then moved to Northern Territory in the Outback and lived in an Aboriginal community there. And my dad was mustard cattle and Buffalo and so on. No way. Yeah, it was the complete removal from the suburban Melbourne city life. We were literally, you mentioned before, but four and a half hours outside of Katherine, southeast Arnhomland. It's just a different world. My most vivid memories in some of the most beautiful memories I've had from us.

How old were you when you left there?

I was first time, I was about four to six, and then came back to Melbourne for a year and then went back up for another year and a half. Wow.

Do you Were you on your way around a farm then with cattle and stuff like that? Could you get by?

Yeah. I mean, I was young. I was just exploring and doing…

It doesn't make you uncomfortable, though.

No, I was around it all and was fascinated.

I don't think he gets uncomfortable I love to live with a lot, JB. Let's be honest. He'd handle himself. He'd be surprised.

Unlike me.

He's not skateboarding around Hollywood, going on a mission.

I know. I'm so soft. Why am I so soft? I've grown Coming up out back.

But did you have... This is a dumb question, but in the middle of basically nowhere where you grew up, what was the impetus for it? Did you have a TV and you're like, Oh, I want to see that from that person on that TV show?

The first time we lived there, we were in shanty-looking shacks and then a tent at one point. It was proper out in the middle of nowhere on different cattle stations. So no TV during that time. The second time we had a TV and the There was a truck that would come and deliver food and suppliers to the community every month or so on. He dropped us off a couple of VHS tapes. I remember watching as a really young kid Terminator One, a bunch of other random things which are great for kids at the age of five or six. It wasn't that that inspired me, but that was my earliest memories of what cinema was and that experience. Then I just love watching movies and not so much to be an actor. It was more of like, I want to be Legales in Lord of the Rings, and I want to go and swing a sword and be in that fantasy world. Again, not escaping what I was in my own world, but just the sheer adventure of it. Then by the time I was 18 and finishing high school, it just became a real obsession like it does and like it needs to be, I guess.

Then I did the soap opera and then off to LA and then- Wait, I want to get back to this.

The Whole Foods truck just drove right up to the community and they just open up the back?

There was a big shed in this community. There's a lot of separate communities throughout Arnhemland, and they would do deliveries with basic bits and pieces that would go into this. What was the shop, which was literally just a big shed. I did a documentary, actually, with my dad. We go back to that community, and there's the same shed there from 30 something years ago.

Did it come back to you?

Oh, my God. The huge like, set of nostalgia. The detail to which these places prompted the vivid memories It was astounding.

Probably surprised you, right? You didn't know it was going to come back.

I thought it would have changed dramatically. I went, and I remember every little corner of the little streets we were living on. I remember what games I was playing at what places and where I was hanging out. There was this big freezer in the back of their shed where they kept all the cold food, which me and my mate, you should just go and sit in and eat the chocolate bars and so on because it was so hot out there in the middle of the outback. But it was It's a fascinating and beautiful place.

Is that still home? Is that still main base for you, Australia?

Australia, yeah. Byron Bay. We live like, Northern New South Wales now and moved back there. Well, 11, 12 years ago. It was like my daughter is 13. My boys are 11. It was right around the time my boys were born. We set up in LA and not enjoying it. Nothing was shooting there. We were filming everywhere else.

Well, you're traveling anyway, so you might as well. I mean, it's a lot longer, but you might as well live where you want to live. Is that the idea?

Yeah. Then you come home and a paparazzi and all this The trappings of living in that space and move back to Australia. It's been the greatest decision because it's like when you come back from work, you want to go on a holiday, like coming home for me, it feels like a holiday. We have big farm and horses and motorbikes and surf. That's so cool.

I read that's how you guys, you and your brothers grew up, too. Just like no helmets, no supervision. Just like, crazy, right? Yeah.

Not because my parents didn't care. It was just because-No, right.

I didn't mean that.

Jesus, Sean.

We lived about 20 minutes from the main in suburban areas in Melbourne, up in the hills. The nearest neighbor was a kilometer or two away, and it was just all push land and rainforest set up around us. We were just spend outdoors, adventures, and playing different characters. I think that's, to be honest, where the intrigue or interest into transportation into another-Viam, like imagination.

Then how do you go from that? You have this interest. What was the first audition? What was the first thing you go like, I'm going to go read for that?

Every Wednesday night, I used to drive an hour and a half into the city, into Melbourne, to do this acting course. It was like a two-hour session where they'd record everything you did, and you'd have a little VHS tape, and you go home and watch it, and you go, Wow, it doesn't look anything like I thought it would. It's a shot to the system, trial by fire and a pretty good wake up. But you learn quick as opposed to just doing acting classes and not ever being confronted with what you're actually putting on screen.

You learn a lot from watching The stuff I do about what, oh, shit, don't do that again.

A hundred %. Yeah. And all your little tales or habits or things you're repeating, you're like, oh, wow, I thought I was in a completely different space and I'm doing exactly the same thing I did before. But I got an agent. And then my first audition was, I think, the first job I got was, I think it was called the Saddle Club. It was a Canadian-Australian show about the Sean, you used to run the door at the Saddle Club, didn't you?

Run the door. I still do. I still do just for some extra money on that. Sorry, Chris.

We take those easy, cheap shots. Feel free to jump in anytime When you think of one.

It was a show based on horses and horse club. I came in as a vet at the age of 18. It was a doogie house in the vet world.

No way. That's funny.

Sean would let the bears in, too, as well as.

Sure.

He was a vet of sorts, I guess, in that way.

Veteran, yeah. Wait, which brother got the first job?

My older brother, Luke, he worked on Nabors, actually, for a while as a steroid selling football player. That's funny. That was quite a role.

In the intro, I read that one job because you said you wanted to quit. Jason was saying, It always happens that way. When you're like, I can't do this anymore. Then something in the universe goes, wait a minute, you have to. What was that? Was that cabin in the woods?

Yeah, it was. It was. It's funny. Is it the universe or is it you just surrender to the process and you remove some of the desperation that may be coming out.

You hit fuck it. You fuck it, yeah. People can tell. It's that sexy indifference, guys.

What is that? What is that expression?

Here's what it is.

It is true.

It's a bumper sticker. It's amazing. We all know what that means.

When you're exhausted or you come in and you're hungover, and all of a sudden, it's like you Your body just doesn't have the strength to light your being up with adrenaline. You're just sitting in a pocket.

You're not thirsty. You're not looking. You're not desperate. You're just like, This is me. This is the way it is. Take it or leave it. There's something about that. People are like, I like that.

Which it comes through the excessive preparation, too. You know what I mean? And that was what I learned. I then would try and replicate that by not caring, which, of course, I did care. So it was like, well, how can I get to the point where I can let go? And then it was just about overpreparation and where there was no stone unturned. Then you felt like, Well, I've done everything I could. Any time I walk into a room in audition and feel like, oh, you could have learned these lines a bit better. Or you should have done this. Then that voice takes off and does all sorts of shitty things.

You were falling into the trap. I used to fall in this trap of trying to pretend like I didn't care. Sure. Acting twice in an It was like the most idiotic, most exhausting bullshit thing. I'm already sweating, trying to pretend like I'm not going to sweat.

Wait, so just a sidebar, I was going to say, the day that Cabin in the Woods came out was also the same day my movie, Three Stooges, came out. But I think you guys beat us. Anyway, moving on. This picture. Let me tell you something about this picture.

This idiot, this three, this brother, he's so stupid.

They can't wait. Was it the same day?

Sean, I I actually watched 10 minutes of that, not four days ago. Thank you.

What, The Three Stooges?

Yeah.

No, you didn't. On the big screen?

You gave it a full 10 minutes?

A full 10 here on the TV. Then we lost power or something like that. I couldn't see anymore.

It literally crashed the power at your house.

Jason, you mentioned before you know Bart Layton or you just know his work?

Yeah, I'm a huge fan of his film, American Animals. I just started pursuing him like some crazy fan after that. He sat down and had lunch with me and humored me for a bit. But yeah, I cannot wait to see this.

He's incredible. This was, I think, the best experience I've ever had in a set and I've had some amazing times. It reminded me, to be honest, of Furiosa with George Miller felt like this and Rush many years ago. It's a thing where there's just this He is just such a craftsman, such a master. Attention to detail is beyond anyone I've ever seen.

Some of those shots are incredible.

The cinematography is stunning. He wrote the script, so there's this deeper understanding of every element to it. But then it's just this kind, collaborative, humble human being, which you don't get the two.

I was just going to say that kind leadership, Ron Howard on Rush, Bart on this, it ends up yielding that great input from this entire team if somebody at the top is not a monster.

You should look into that.

Yeah, I'm reading and reading.

You should take note. Because I've heard a lot of stories from your sets from a lot of... I get a lot of anonymous emails.

A lot of it's true. A lot of it's true. I'm working on it.

Yeah, a real groucher. Groucherton is your nickname. I love it. Jk. Everybody loves JK.

Wait, so a couple of things I didn't know. Okay.

Can we back off the sidebar? Or we're in a mainstream question.

No, this is back on.

I don't know if we have enough time for this segment, Things You Don't Know.

No, but look, I love, Oh, the Places You'll Go.

Oh, yeah.

First of all, talk about your tattoos. Then I'll get into that. You've got tattoos, which I didn't know you've had this many tattoos. Tell us the tattoos you have.

Are there a bunch of random...

Start with the back tat.

Start with the back tat, the Holly Diversion and the Hawk.

No, the one on the tailbone. Lower back.

Oh, the Bob Wire.

The Bob Wire. The one that says, Just breathe.

Open for business.

Oh, my God. That's hilarious.

My tattoo. I have a Dr. Seuss tattoo. My daughter was... I used to read that to her a lot. My mom read it to me, The places you'll go. She just would draw that little character and loved it. So I got that tattoo. Oh, I love that.

Isn't that great?

Then a few years later, I was like, I'm sick of it. I started getting it taken off and I did one laser session. Then she came home one day and she goes, It's rubbing off. What happened to it? It's rubbing off. I was like, Oh, did you still... I thought you were sick of it. She goes, No, I love it. I love it. It's now half-faded, but it's still there. I love that. I've got another... It's a bunch of my arm, actually, the little drawings that she did that I was sitting with a tattoo artist one night and it was 10: 00, and he's designing all these different things and all this sacred geometry and You're looking stuff. My daughter walked out and goes, Dad, I can't sleep. You're making too much noise. I'm like, Sorry. She sits down and starts squiddling and drew the three little images here, which one of them, and the guy next goes, That's the Wheel of Dharma. It's the 8 Steps to Enlight. It's this. She's doing that. Oh, really? Then the Five-Pointed Star. He looked at me and goes, I think they're way cooler than anything we're designing.

I took a photo of that and that's that. Then a bunch of other scrimbles.

That's so cool. And your Avenger's friends, which is cool.

I made disparaging remarks about people with tattoos on a podcast in the UK. You know that guy Roma? She's hilarious. Do you know dude over in London. Anyway, I made a sweeping generalization as a bit, and I got a bunch of hate from it.

What was it?

I said, There's a direct correspondence between the more tattoos you have... By the way, I don't even believe this. The more tattoos you have, the more tattoo you have, the more boring you are. As long as it was boring, people flicked out. I'm like, I'm just fucking around. I don't have a scientific opinion on this. I'm just fucking around.

Sounds like someone who would like a few tattoos. Would you like a couple?

I would like a couple, actually.

I thought you had one.

I don't have one. All I have are just my kids here on the inside of my arm. That's it. But I feel like I want a thousand more. I feel like the damn is broken.

I have a million friends who are covered in tattoos. That would mean that I hate all my friends.

The problem is I get sick of them, and so I'm going to be in them for a few weeks.

That's what I'm worried about.

I want to just get them all removed.

But you're not sick of the It's my kid's name. It's from your kids, though.

The kids ones that have a bit of something to it. But I've got some other ones, the weird psychodromatry one, which looks like the Illuminati vibe to it.

I love all those little tiny drawing ones. I think like what you showing on your arm, like little doozles.

I love that.

I want some of those.

But then you get a lot. Do you have any of the ones I see people on their arm? It's like, Stay alert. I'm like, Do you have to look at it to remind yourself?

If you're looking at it, you're not alert.

Just breathe.

I don't have any quotes or any- I wanted JBI.

I always threatened that if the Leifs win the Stanley Cup, I'm going to get my whole back of Wendell Clarke, who's been retired for years, but my hockey idol, holding the Stanley Cup on my back. I think I'm safe for now for a while.

It looks like- We're struggling along with you here in Los Angeles.

Sean, you don't have any, right? You don't have any.

No, I've always wanted one.

I was wanting- Let's do one. I'll design one for you, and then you design one for me.

Sean, if you had to get a tattoo of a snack food on your body, what would it be? You have to. Guns to your head, one snack food on the body.

It would have to probably- It can't be hot dog.

Can it be a Twinkie? What about a Twinkie?

No, it'd probably be a Snickers bar.

A Snickers bar. Where would you put that?

What about right on my neck?

Right on your tummy. Right across your tummy. That's where it ends up. Just on your tummy.

Just on your back. That's the same way. We're on the lower route. Next to Boboia.

Because that's where people will Snicker. We'll be right back.

All right, back to the show.

Chris, in Crime 101, we always talk about this on this podcast, but when people from Australia or the UK have to do these American accents, and they're so good and they're so believable, and then you speak in your regular… It's just like, I don't know what happens. It's like, How do you do that? I could never do an Australian accent. That's the hardest one.

Try right now.

No, I couldn't do it. Guns to your head. I can say one word. Chest is chist.

That's all I know. That sounds more Kiwi. Chist.

That sounds what?

Like Kiwi. It sounds like more New Zealand. Chist.

Oh, it does.

We'd say chest.

Oh, you would say chest?

Say aluminum, Sean.

Aluminum. Aluminum. I can do a British one. I can't do it.

Let's hear that guy. Let's hear that guy. Let's have a visit from that guy.

I think most of our television and film growing up is American, so there's a bit of... We have a year for it, I guess. But I've also screwed it up many times as well.

How often will you go back in? Will you ask, you'll see an early cut of something and you'll ask the director, Hey, could I go in and read you that line or that line?

More now. I didn't even know I had the option in the past. I see some review talking about not so favorably. Then the worst was a Scottish accent I did for something. Someone said, It's the worst Glaswegian accent we've heard since the fat bastard in Austin Power.

Which is one of the greatest all time.

I was like, Oh, you did a great job. Yeah.

I love these guys on the sidelines throwing bombs. They could do it.

I know. I think you're brilliant at it. Then you met... Didn't you meet Elsa, your wife, through a dialect coach?

We did. Yeah. It was- What was she going for? The dialect coach or Elsa?

Yeah, I meant why were you there at the same time?

No, we were both training separately with her and she said, I think you'd like someone else I'm working with. I said, What's her name? And looked her up and thought, Oh, she looks lovely. Sure. Give me a phone number. Really?

That was that simple.

Then we went out for dinner and then I went and shot a movie, and we came back at dinner, and then went off and shot another movie. It was like we weren't together, but we'd been in contact for eight months. Then Got together very quickly had kids in marriage and all that fun stuff.

But that's nice, though. That's a nice slow burn, though. You ease into it a little bit. A couple of dinners in there.

A bit of distance, long distance.

Is that a novel idea to you, Will? Just a couple of dates before you start?

Hey, so what else?

You took her out to dinner a couple of times, did you? Oh, my God. Chris, your kids are now at the age where they can see how badass dad is and they appreciate what a set is like and that that might be a fun atypical work environment. Are any of them getting the bug to do what you do? Any interest there?

Yeah, they do. My daughter was in Love and Thunder, the last Thor film, and she played Christian Bale's daughter. And then she's- Did she dig it? Yeah, but she was like... I asked her, I said, Look, do you I'm going to do this role? She goes, Oh, yeah, cool. What do I have to do? I said, I'll just read these lines. She's like, No, I don't want to read the lines. I was like, I'm going to record something to send to Kevin Feig. She's like, No, I'm not doing it. I was like, Okay, well, you can't do it. She goes, No, but I want to do it. I'm like, Yeah, but you got it. This is like an audition. She won't read. She finally did it. They were like, great, loved it. Then she did Avengers. This is three, four years later. By this point, she's so much more jaded about it all. She just doesn't hate The whole scene and everything. But it tells me she enjoys acting. We do one take, wide take, mostly in my direction. She gets up and goes, Okay, we're done? I said, No, you're serious? She goes, How much longer?

I'm like, We're here all week and you've done one wide shot. Every single time we'd go back to the tent or the trailer and they'd call us in. She'd be like, Oh, God. I was like, India, you beg me to do this. You wanted to do it. Then her brothers are like, We'll do it. We'll do it. Why? You're such a sick Indian. My boys probably have more of a... I don't know. They like the... They're a bit more of a showman. They like that space.

How are the Rusos on her. Did the Rusos take care of her? Was Joe just hammering her with notes?

Just heaps of notes, backstory, incessant on the study and the prep she done. No, not at all. They were fantastic.

Chris, do your kids... I read that they critique your movies. Do they actually write them or do they just tell you?

No, they'll just blatantly tell me. They're tough. It's for that whole generation. They're like, Yeah, visual effects weren't as good, not went out. I didn't ever remember commenting on any of that as a kid.

My kids never like watching anything that's five years old. That's sick and stuff.

My kids came and saw my brand, Is this thing on? Able, my 15-year-old goes, a lot better than that one. The movie you did with the talking dogs. I go, Hey, dude. Did your braces get paid for?

How do you in the house you're living in? Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty comfy? Exactly.

Pretty comfy right now? Do your kids give it up, Chris? Well, if you do something great, will they go, You know what, dad?

That was awesome. No, they're really supportive. I remember the first time when they were realizing what it was that I did. The first time my son, I took him to the cinema to see Thor, and he was just running up and down the aisle. I was like, Just got to sit down. He's jumping up and down the chairs. I was just trying to sit him down, holding him down. Then I was like, Fuck, this is my movie. I'm fucking on the screen. They're not worried about someone's going to yell at us. But I thought, and then in the end, he was like, I'm having so much fun. He's sweating, he's sweating. He's like, Right, let's go. Then so he left halfway through and he ran up and down the hallway. He's like that. He's terrible. He's big. But he became obsessed with it and had a little hammer that he'd run around with and smash things.

Oh, really? That's cool. That's pretty cool. God, I get it. My 15 year old wishes you were his dad, too. It's unbelievable.

It's a long line of kids.

But it's changing. Like the 11, 13 year old time when there's a whole new vernacular and all this new language they seem to roll with. Everything's got a sarcastic twist to it now because all the YouTube shit and so on. I'll say something and they've got cringe. I'm like, No, I'm fucking cool, right? I'm not that cool. I'm not that cool with that. It's all fighting in the distance.

He's just honest.

I love it. You know this, the Avengers's Doomsday, I was at Anthony Rus's house and we saw the trailer. We were the first people to see the trailer. It was incredible. That's cool. I don't know if you know this. This will be the 10th time you've played Thor, which is really cool.

It's wild, isn't it? I know.

It's wild.

That's really cool.

Oh, really? There's more?

Yeah. Oh, that's great. But it's been so much fun. What I've really enjoyed is unlike, I think a lot of what the other characters that the scripts were given, they have had to be pretty consistent, whereas working with Taka on his films versus Kenneth Branagh with those films. Then with the Rusos, all had quite a different tonal opinion, but also let me try different things Because I was getting the same with my tattoos. I'd be getting really bored of the same thing and and have a real need to just throw in different directions. I was talking to Kevin about it and he said, it's cool because the audience now expect dramatic turns with the character. And whatever we do next, that we've got some ideas to do something pretty unique again or hopefully be-Yeah, I was going to say, you must have ideas.

You guys all must have ideas about where your characters might go, because now you guys, I guess for a long time now, You guys have been going... There aren't comic books to write these scripts off of. You guys have gone past those. And so do you guys-There's also an obligation, though, Jamie, within...

Isn't there not It's not an obligation, but because the fans are so... They know these characters so well, so you've got to handle it with care. You take chances, but you've also got to make sure that they don't get pissed off.

No, for sure. Because you still can pull from... There's so many different stories within the comic books, and you pull from ideas and certain directions. But and each, even within the different comic book artists, writers, they They had slightly different takes as well. So there's variations. But you do have to be careful because when we made Ragnarok, it was quite a twist. It was such a great movie. It was so good. It was so fun. There was a huge appreciation for the shift. Then Love and Thunder was like a Monty Python sketch, and we took the piss probably a little much. Then there was some of that backlash. There was the real Why is he a goofball and why is it this? And violently offended. We were like, Oh, we're just having fun or trying to try something different.

It is cool that there's that partnership there, though, with the audience as well as the filmmakers. That doesn't really exist in other... I mean, maybe Star Wars, there's some of that as well. But that part is really cool.

Star Wars, sorry.

If you can stick around for a couple of hours because we're talking about Star Wars. Wait, what about in the intro, I didn't know. This is total left turn. But when you were growing up, you repaired breast milk pumps?

What? Yeah, I worked for Fisher & Pye Coal. This home, what do you call it? White goods. Home goods? Yeah. Fridges and so on.

They also make dishwashers.

Dishwashers, and they make breast pumps. I didn't know that. They would rent them to different pharmacies and chemists, and they would come back to us, and I'd have to repair them when the little belt, the motor belt would break. I'd also have to clean all the dried milk that was on them. So I have a tooth brush and some spray and wipe. That was my first job.

How about that?

A lot of time to think about what else I would prefer to be doing.

Yeah, for sure. You're a big surfer and you do snowboarding. By the way, is there snow there in Australia right now?

Opposite. It's summer now. But I was just in Courchevel, France, last week with my family, snowboarding.

Did you do some skiing?

Yeah, a lot of skiing, snowboarding, and kids are all doing back flips.

You must have played a lot of sports growing up.

Yeah, I did the 110 hurdles. That was my event. Really? I wasn't quite quick enough for the 100, but I was tall enough and agile enough for the hurdle. So it was a good combination. What about footie?

Did you play any footie?

I played AFL football. Yeah. Afl? Played for eight or nine Then when I was 17, I dislocated my shoulder and tore all the ligaments. I'd been surfing a lot at the same time. So I had eight weeks of sitting on the couch doing nothing. I was like, I don't want to risk not surfing anymore. Then gave that up.

Must be a lot of dislocated shoulders in AFL football.

Every injury I have now, like back and things that start to play up, I swear, were from nine years of just getting belted on the football field. It's intense and your body would shatter if you got hit at that speed now. But running four pelt into each other. I got two concussions when I was 14, 15.

I remember going to Australia, going to Melbourne, and seeing going to an NFL match. Just watching it just watching and just seeing the pure athleticism of these guys, running, kicking, catching, tackling, all of them just incredible athletes. Just amazing. I'm surprised. Yeah, it's wild.

Hey, so I'm still just in awe of your just general manhood and exposure to elements and things like that. Down there in Australia, you got the snakes, you got the spiders, you got the sharks. When you're surfing, have you ever seen a dorsal fin? When you were out back just running around with your motorcycles and pop guns and shit, did you ever see any of the snakes or spiders or things like that?

Oh, yeah. When I first moved to Byron Bay, there was a string of shark attacks, two deaths, and then one guy survived in the space of two weeks, one out the front of my house and one 10 minutes south of me and five minutes north. I was like, Where have I moved to? What have I done? This is crazy. Then so for the next- You're still paddling out. Yeah, when there was other people in the water. So there was your chances. Your odds. A little bit better. Your odds were a little better. But now there was a period when there would just be choppers, helicopters going up and down the coastline and just like shark-spotting. And then they have a siren on because there was, for whatever reason, just this feeding frenzy.

That's how they do it. So they fly above and then if they see one, there's a little siren from the helicopter?

Yeah. Or they tell the police, and the police and the police should come down with a big speaker and tell you to get out of the water. Everyone would sit there and not get out of the water. Each guy starts paddling and it's like, fine, we're going.

These aren't sand sharks. The only shark they've got down there are the big daddies, right?

Yeah, they're Bullsharks and Great Whites. The most predominant. No, thanks.

What about the snakes? You saw snakes?

Heaps of snakes. Yeah. Heaps. Heaps of snakes. Heaps of snakes. King Brown, the Brown Snakes, which is you got 15 minutes if you get the antiveniment here before you.

Yeah. The brown spider is also the most-The redback spider is...

And then what's the brown spider? What do you do?

You're physically pulling your shirt down your neck.

I got to hang up.

We see a lot of snakes around our house, but also a lot of big pythons, and the pythons are really territorial and keep the bad ones away. You want those ones around.

Python is not bad?

No, they're not venom us, but they're very territorial with the brown snakes and the red belly black snakes and the ones that are nasty. We don't mind having the pythons The pathons aren't looking to mess you up.

They're not looking to attack.

No, I mean, you can... My kids will go and grab them by the tail sometimes. No, no way.

How do they do their killing if they don't have the venom? They're just their squeezing?

Yeah, squeezing. Yeah.

Like and rats, and they'll just have us swallow.

Squizers. Squizers. Wait, go back.

Matt Damon, the first time, he was asking me all these questions before they came.

Oh, that bitch. That bitch.

He won't even... Then he literally write. I was like, Are you fine? The first day he drives down the street, gets out of a car and steps straight on a snake. I've been there 42 years and never stepped on a snake.

This guy's a dummy. He's a dummy.

What did the angel do? The angel buy himself a pair of boots immediately after that?

Right up to the hip. And a helmet, gloves, a pair of wide ones.

Oh, my God. Wait, Chris, go back to the water for a second with the shark. Do you still go in the water? Sure he does.

Yeah, I surf every day. People still surf. Again, it's like all this statistics you hear.

They get hit by lightning.

Hit by lightning or driving a car is worse. I heard one that more people die in America shaking a vending machine, trying to get chocolate or whatever, and it collapsing on them. Now, I don't know if that's true, but it's-Shon's got a vending machine story.

He almost got cut They cut to ribbons with an exploding glass door. They were chinchin when they were closed too early.

I eat a lot of junk food, Chris. So wait a minute.

You know what I love about the Avengers crew? You guys all seem to be having a good time, don't they? Every time I see you guys. Of course. You and Robert and all the whole crew, you guys are all just yucking it up. It's fun.

It's a good group. It's a good group. I think everyone had come into it expecting nothing. It was right at the beginning of, I guess, this superhero emergence. Each time one of them worked, it was a win for the others and their individual films. But then when the Avengers worked, we're like, Oh, we're going to make a second one, and a third one, the fourth one. Everyone's pinching themselves that we're still here and it's still working. Yeah, it's pretty cool. And just a good group of people. You deserve it, pal.

You really do.

You deserve it. You really do. Great films. Yeah.

You do.

Chris Humsworth.

What a pleasure. Thanks for chatting with us today, Mister. Thank you.

Thank When is Cribs? When is the release date?

It's already out.

It's already out. Oh, yeah.

It came out when.

It came out when. When did it come out, Sean?

It came out... Wait, I have it.

February 13th or February 12th?

February, yeah. February 13th.

February 13th.

No, it's great. It's a character-driven crime thriller. It has a beautiful suspense, a suspense through the action, but also through the dramatic scenes. The way Bart's crafted this movie, it's edgy as seat, pulse pounding from start to finish.

It's a sick cast as well.

I'll just say one of the greatest... Halle Berry, you.

Go ahead. Barry Keegan, Mark Ruffalo, Monica Barbaro, nick Nolty. It's a phenomenal cast, but it's a throwback to the harsh films of the '70s, '80s, '90s, but has a contemporary feel to it. Really cool.

I'm seeing it this weekend.

But I just have to say, now that I've seen it, and I'm a big fan of the movie, and of course, you, that I won't reveal anything, but when that one character gets in the car, that's all I'll say. That was really cool. Well, you don't know where, you don't know when part of the movie I'm talking about.

When that one character gets in the car.

You know what I'm talking about. I was like, whoa, that's pretty cool. I was on the edge of my seat. Anyway, Chris, thanks so much for being here.

Thanks for having me, guys.

Chris, thank you. Yeah, thank you, Chris. I'm not sure. Amanda would say hi if she was here, and maybe I'll make it to the next one.

Please do, mate.

I hope.

Thanks, guys. All right, pal. Good to see you. Good to see you. Yeah.

Bye, buddy. Thank you. Peace. Bye, pal. Bye, bye. Splendid. Just splendid.

Really good.

This is a great guy.

This is a great guy. First of all, great guy.

I don't know what you guys are talking about. I think he was great. Big star. He was great. I don't know why he did. Big star.

Big star.

Huge star.

And yet so So grounded. As you know, you know him a little bit. I hung out with him for a couple of days. What a good dude.

Humble, kind.

Oh, my God.

Wait, what's 26 minus 11?

Boy, that's definitely going to be somewhere around 15.

Honestly, that actually came out.

Fifteen years. He's been playing Thor for 15 years. That's a lot.

I want to go back to the math question because I'm so disturbed.

Is this worthy of recording, Sean? You know we're on right now.

Oh, we're still on.

I'd say, Cut it, but I need the world to hear that.

This is our life, guys. Yeah. Okay. Welcome to it. Listener, it's free to you, but it costs us a great deal. I mean, it's free. It's just time, patience.

Yeah, He's, yeah, 15 years as Thor. Then all this other stuff in between.

How about I threw you guys at the beginning when I said it was Kirk's dad?

Yeah, great job, Sean.

I mean, it's sick. Sick. What a bird.

I was like, fucking, who is this? Who could have been?

This guy, he's unbelievable.

On the breast pump information.

The breast pump information.

No, that is interesting. I got to join my wife on some of these weekends.

By the way, I want to know what all that is. Hey, guys, when you have-Okay.

Yeah. Oh, that's it. You're right into it, huh? Yeah.

When he- No more wrap up?

No.

Seany.

No, I got to go. Wait, Sean, do you have a performance tonight?

No, this is our one night off.

You're dark.

Oh, good for you, JB.

We're dark. Yeah, we're dark.

Then what do you end up doing tonight? Where does Scotty gets a night out? I'm not moving.

I'm not moving. I'm so exhausted.

That's fair to Scotty. What about this afternoon? Well, we might- Take him for ice cream.

Yes, or no, but you know what I've been craving lately is sushi. Now, when you guys eat sushi, Do you put... They come up with a side of ginger.

Usually next to it, it's a little pinch mound of green mustard called. What do you call it? Well, no, I think a better way to say that is, what did the sushi say to the Bumbelbee?

What B-I-B. B-i-e. What's up bee? What's up bee? Bye. What's up, bye. That was a threat.

Will is sick. Will is sick.

He just threw up his hot wing.

That was terrible.

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