What is up, guys? It's Andy for Cella, and this is the show for The Realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking Reality. Guys, today we have Q&A. That's where you submit the questions, and we give you the answers. You can submit your questions a couple of different ways. Tell them how, DJ.
Guys, you can email these questions into askandy@andyfrasella. Com. You can also click the link in the description below. Submit your questions that way or drop them in the comments Of the Q&A videos on Andy for Selling Motivation on YouTube.
Don't forget, if you are a YouTube connoisseur, we have put the Q&A on their own channel. It's called Andy for Selling Motivation. Go over there, hit subscribe, and you'll get that content as well. Guys, if this is your first time listening, we have shows within the show. We've got CTI, which will be live tonight at seven o'clock. We also do those on Thursday nights at 7: 00 live. Then we have Real Talk. Real Talk is just 5-20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. Then we have 75 Hard Verses. That is where people who have completed 75 Hard come on the show They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 Hard program to transform their life. Now, if you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental Mental Transformation program in history. You can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. There's also a book available at andyfercela. Com called The Book on Mental Toughness. I'd highly recommend it, especially for those of you who We need to know the in-depth ins and outs of how, why, what.
You don't have to have the book. Again, you get the program for free at episode 208, but the book is very good. Let's see. With that being said, we do have a fee. The fee is very simple. Do us a favor and help us share the show. We don't run ads on the show, as you guys know. We never have. We rely on you guys to spread the show. Do us a favor and don't be a hoe.
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Yeah. What's happening, dude? Live tonight. I'm excited.
Yeah.
Are you tired? Yeah, I'm a little sleepy. Still waking up.
This is a long night, man.
Yeah. What did you do?
It was mother-in-law's birthday, so we did a little shindig, and that turned to me being up till 5: 00 this morning.
Oh, yeah? Did you have a couple of beverages?
I had a few beverages. Yeah? Yeah, a few beverages. A few beverages by themselves.
I I don't miss that, bro.
Yeah, no.
I don't miss that feeling at all.
I actually don't feel terrible. I'm just a little tired.
I just don't like that cloudy feeling, man. This is the first show of 2026 when we come with Q&AF. Is it? Yeah. Is it really? Yeah. Shit. It is.
No. On Q&AF, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, shit. It is. Maybe there is a little cloud, huh? Yeah, man. It is. It's great. As always. Well, how are you doing? You good?
Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.
Feel good? Playing good? Look good?
Doing what I can do, man.
75 hards going?
Oh, yeah, that's a thing. Fuck, a shit ton of people are starting 75 hard today. If that's you, just know you're not alone. I think it's the biggest amount we ever had started, which is interesting because according to everybody else, it's a fad. It's dangerous. Fads don't continue to grow, bro. Great programs do. That's right. That's why it has been as big as it has been for the last six years. It's because it fucking works. This is the time of year where we see everybody try to attack 75 hard and make adjustments and hop on the hype train and use it for traffic and say they don't like it, which is insane because if you have clients as a trainer and you don't want them to actually get results, you're not a very good trainer. The program is made for you to plug in all of your programming right along with it. If I were a trainer, I would maybe recommend actually working with the program. It's not hurting you. It helps your clients. It helps them transform the ultimate issue, which is their mind, and makes everybody's job a lot more effective. If you see that shit, just let them know, bro.
We're getting to the point where people know. You know what I'm saying? Oh, for sure. You can't go to people who have completed Ironman's and done Ironman training and it's changed their fucking life and say, Oh, yeah, Ironman's fucking shitty.
That's not healthy for you.
It's not sustainable. Yeah, whatever, dude. Oh, yeah. By the way, speaking of sustainable, this is literally the It's the 10th anniversary of me losing 110 pounds. Keeping it all. Yeah. When I was 36 years old, I was 350 fucking pounds. I've kept it off for 10 years using the principles of the program. If we want to talk about what sustainable means, it's about correcting the issue and keeping it away. That's right. It's interesting how people believe that you just be able to go on a diet and it'll fix it forever. That doesn't fix anything. That might change the physical, but until you change the mental, until you figure out that this is a discipline problem, this is a mental toughness problem, and that these skills of discipline, grit, fortitude, perseverance, mental toughness, these are perishable skills that you have to stay on top of over the course of your life. They're not just magically there for You do 75 days and it stays there forever. That's why the Live Hard program has multiple phases to it, because you're going to do 75 days, then you've got 30 days, phase one, then you have a mandatory break.
That mandatory break is so that you can realize that this isn't something that is fixed forever. Just how perishable that shit is. Correct. If you don't practice it on a daily basis, it goes away very fast. Then it has another 30-day phase, then it has another 30-day at the end of your year. This whole program is designed to keep you sharp throughout the year, which is fucking sustainable. It's just people that don't understand.
You know what's not It's not sustainable. Paper straws.
I fucking noticed that. That's not sustainable.
That's some bullshit.
You saw Florida's banning them.
Are they really? Yeah. Good for them. We should ban that shit everywhere.
Do we do that here in Missouri?
No. Some places do, right?
I don't go to those places.
But we don't go to those places.
Bro, paper straw is pretty much the worst thing ever. No, for sure. It gets a little bit of liquid in it, and then it starts coming apart.
You got to chug your shit in three minutes, bro.
It's gross. It's fucking Gross. Then if you don't chug your shit in three minutes, there's little pieces of straw floating in your drink. I don't want that. No, it's gross, dude.
Yeah. He just ripped off a tangent there. But yeah, man, guys, it's Monday, so Let's make some people better. Let's do it.
With three good ones. Okay.
I have them for you.
All right. I know you do. Yeah.
Let's get into these, man. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, I don't explode. But I hold everything in. Stress, anger, resentment. I just bury it and just keep moving. Lately, I can feel it leaking out in weird ways. I'm starting to be short with people that I care about. How do you deal with the pressure without either blowing up or shutting down completely? I guess, how do you handle those emotions while you're in the building phases of life?
Well, first of all, we're always in the building phase of life. You don't get to a place where automatically you look around and say, Oh, okay, I'm done. This is the common misunderstanding of people. Whether it's your business, whether it's your diet, whether it's your training, whether it's your personal relationships, whether it's your spirituality, these things are It's always a work in progress. This idea that typically comes from younger people, and it's no fault of their own, they lack perspective, but they think they're going to get to a point and everything's just going to be set. Okay, we built the house, the house is done. That's not how your life works. Okay? Your life is always a work in progress. We all go through these different learning lessons at different points in time in our life. Nobody has it all figured out at 25 or 35 or 45 or 55 or even 85. My dad's 80 years old. He still learns new shit every single day. He's still working on things. He's still trying to improve. I actually think that that mentality is very parallel to people who live very long and productive lives. When people think they're done, and we see this all the time, they sell their business and they retire, and then in two years, they're dead.
Or they're going to gain 200 fucking pounds.
Yeah, or you could take it on the other end of the spectrum. The guy who was the all-American athlete in high school and college, and then you see him at 30 years old, and he's 400 pounds and broke. The minute you start thinking that your life is complete is the minute it starts falling apart. We have to understand that this is a process that never ends. And once you accept that, once you accept that that's the way it's going to be, it stops hurting. It stops feeling like you're behind. It stops feeling like That friction. Yeah. You just have to understand the game. And the biggest thing that people struggle with is trying to play a different game outside of the reality of how it works. We can listen to Mary, Take It Easy, Therapy Lady on the internet, and we can listen to David Goggins, and we can listen to Andy, and we can listen to fucking Tony, and we can listen to all these guys. But at the end of the day, bro, the truth is a truth, and the system works the way it is, and reality is reality. Reality is the same for you as it is for me.
No different than gravity. We could argue about how gravity is. You could say, Oh, it's not that real. I could say, No, it's pretty real. And we can go outside and you're going to fall just the same way I fall. So we have to understand that the game works the same for everybody. It's the same set of fucking rules. You may have started off in a different place, but the rules are the same. Okay? So thinking that you're going to be the person that the rules change for, it's an egotistical, arrogant thought. It's the same for everybody. When we talk about What it actually takes and where you should be, everybody's at a different point in a different place. I don't know how old this person is. Does it say? Mm-mm. Okay, you're learning the lesson now of how to deal with pressure. That doesn't put you behind. That doesn't mean you're wrong. That doesn't mean you're doing something bad. It means you just haven't learned a lesson yet. I'm someone who has typically matured much later than people my age. I've always been 10 years behind. I was laughing at dick jokes when I was...
Well, I still do. I can relate to that. You've just got to understand that that's normal. Everybody deals with it. I mean, bro, how many times have you wanted to blow up on shit that you didn't? You have great emotional control. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you do. Dude, I've never seen you lose your temper. I've I've never seen you… Even when you're upset, you know what I'm saying? You keep it under control. That's not something I'm the best at. I struggle with that sometimes. We all have points that are harder for other people because of how we're wired and set up. I've had to learn, and by the way, I don't have it mastered, but I've had to learn. I have made a lot of improvements. Oh, for sure. Of how to control these frustrations and these pressures to make sure that I don't take it out on people that don't deserve it. Sometimes people do deserve it, by the way. But at the end of the day, this is about finding ways that work for you that help you relieve some of that pressure. What I found for me is lifting weights helps a lot.
When I am very stressed and very heavy and borderline angry, when I lift weights, an hour later, I feel a lot better. Walking works very well for me. When I'm very, very stressed, if I go for a walk for an hour, dude, most of the problems solve themselves. But I think ultimately, the issue here is awareness. It's being able to know when that pressure is getting near where it's going to explode and then doing some things to keep it from getting up to that level.
That's gold because what you're saying effectively is, imagine if... Because everybody has fucking stress, right? Everybody has that. But imagine the way to deal with that is by doing something that's still pushing you fucking forward.
That's the whole thing. That's where I'm getting. We got to understand that this pressure is not something to be avoided. It's something to utilize for us to be more successful and more productive. When you start to feel these ways, and you get negativity, and you get pressure, and you get frustration, and you can feel it start to rise, you have to be aware enough to take that negative energy, which, by the way, isn't really negative. It's just how you perceive it and utilize it in a productive action. Every single person that's ever become what you admire, any of you watching or listening, they understand how to productively deal with negativity or pressure. They understand how to leverage it properly. Because unfortunately, contrary what the internet will tell you, not everything is good. Not everybody claps for you. Not everybody cheers for you. Not everybody wants you to win. Not everything goes your way. There's going to be all kinds of things that punch you in the fucking mouth over and over and over again If you don't learn how to leverage those in a productive action, you are going to lose to people who do.
Instead of letting it crumble or instead of letting it spill over into outburst to people that don't deserve it, you need to learn how to recognize when the pressure is almost near the breaking point and then use that energy to be productive. A lot of times, the pressure that we feel is coming from things that we know we're supposed to do but haven't done yet. Did you ever notice how you've got this one thing that is really on your mind and you know it needs to be done and you keep thinking about it, but it's not that big a deal? It's not that big a deal. Let's just say it's something simple. It's like mowing the grass. Your grass gets a little long. You're looking at the grass, you're like, I got another couple of days before I can mow it. Then you let those couple of days go by and it gets way bigger. Then you're like, Fuck, it's pretty bad. This is going to be a pain in the ass to mow. Then you put it off then, and then it gets even worse. Then before you know it, dude, you're out there with the push mower, flopping the motherfucker around, trying to cut the grass, cursing yourself because you could have just handled it when it was small.
Yeah, right. But the minute you get done with that, all of that anxiety and all of that pressure is over. This goes into work. This goes into your fitness, this goes into your communication and your relationships. This goes into conversations that you know you should have, but you're afraid to have. There's all these things that make the pressure go up. A lot of times, that pressure going up is just an indicator. It's a It's a little thing that's pointing at you and saying, Hey, this needs to be addressed. If you learn to listen to that quickly, the pressure stays low. But if you let it get high, it's going to make you feel uncomfortable. That's the game. That's how it's supposed to be. You intuitively know the things that are supposed to be done. You know you're fucking fat. You know you're fucking lazy. You know your life doesn't look the way you want it to look. You know that things need to be addressed. You know you're not given your your job. Everybody fucking knows that. But very few people proactively address it and understand how to leverage those feelings into productive action. My hope for you guys this year is that this becomes the time where you actually figure out that there is no easy way, there is no quick way, there is no permanent way.
It's a constant process. It's a constant set of actions. It's a constant sculpting of the perfect life. It It's an ongoing process. And there's not a person who has ever lived that has ever gotten to a point in their life, whether they be 60, 70, 80 years old, and said, Oh, you know what? It's great. That didn't become miserable later. Do you ever notice that when people are older, like our grandparents, they're pretty... Some of them can be pretty fucking angry and bitter and shit? Bitter assholes, yeah. Do you know why? It's because they stop forward, bro. Now they're only looking backwards. They're only looking backwards. They're only thinking about the things they missed. They're only thinking about the things they didn't do. They're only thinking about the chances they didn't take. Yeah, that's going to make you angry. You have to accept the fact that if you want to be fulfilled and you want to be successful and you want to live the life that you know you could live and should live, you're going to have to accept the process. The process is ongoing. It never ends.
I want to talk on this piece, too, because you talk about being short with people, things like that. I know you touched on the emotional control aspect of this a little bit. But I think this is important, too, and it's something that I know you deeply care about. I feel that when that pressure comes and when the stress comes, I think it also comes down to your intent. You can be pissed off, but I know that your intent is still in the right place. It's like, We're all on the same team here.
Yeah. Well, now we're crossing into a leadership discussion. Sometimes Sometimes in leadership, you do got to get a little rowdy. You do got to push motherfuckers. Your job as a leader is to live the standard and then hold other people to the standard. Those are two very important points. A lot of people try to hold the standard without living it themselves. Then they wonder why other people won't do it. Well, other people aren't doing it because you're not fucking doing it. If you're a leader and you're running a team or you have your family and you say, Oh, you guys should be doing this, they're not going to do it until you do it. This is the problem that we face as a culture. We have this attitude that people are waiting for someone else to do all the shit, and they think that they cannot do it themselves. This is why culture sucks. This is why America looks the way it does right now. This is why when you go to Walmart, seven out of 10 people, fucking eight out of 10 people are obese. This is why. This is why when you go to work, nine out of 10 of the people that you work with are lazy as fuck.
It's because they don't have an example to look at and see what the fuck that looks like to actually be productive. So it's literally impossible to lead without living standard yourself and then also holding people accountable. Yeah, dude, there's a time and a place for these things, but they're strategic. They're not just fly off the cuff. When you really have it mastered, you know exactly when that's supposed to be applied. I'm just upset because I'm upset. I have to put a fire under some asses, so this part of me has to come out right now. But yeah, the intent 100% is what matters because people know if you're just being a dickhead or if you're actually pushing to be better, they know that. When you live the standard yourself, people are much more receptive to that good intent than if you're not living it. If you're not living it, the intent can't even be good because what you're pointing at is you're saying, You motherfuckers do the work, and I'm not going to do shit. That's not the right intent. The right intent is, I'm going to live the best standard that I can in my fitness, in my mental, in my finances, in my spiritual, in my relationships, and I'm going to set that standard, and then I also expect you to live that standard as well.
That's a different thing than just pointing the finger and screaming at people. You see what I'm saying?
Absolutely, dude. Absolutely. I love it. Flows into this next question a little bit. Guys, Andy, question number 2. Hey, Andy, thank you for all that you do. Because of the things you teach, I've changed my entire outlook in my life, actually putting your lessons into practice. I've been promoted by my company and basically I've been trusted to replicate myself in the company. Everything you talk about. I now lead a team of eight people, but I'm having some leadership issues. I feel uncomfortable telling people no, holding them accountable, or calling out bad performance. I don't want to be the nice guy leader who lets things slide, but I also don't want to turn into an asshole. So how do you learn to lead without losing yourself?
Do you actually care about your people or not? That's the question you got to ask, okay? Because if you're passive and you won't say no and you let shit slide, guess what? You don't really give a fuck about those people. That's the truth. Because if you did, you would want them to get better. You'd be willing to have conversations that are a little awkward to make them better. You would be willing to hold standards that make them better. You would want them to earn more money. You would want them to be higher-skilled. You would want them to get better. That comes from a place of care. This is what I talk about all the time. Kindness and being good to people is not nice platitudes and friendly things to say all the time. If they're doing good, yeah, you tell them they're doing good. But if they're not doing good and you actually care about them, you have an obligation to tell them where they're not doing good. Anybody who actually wants to win will be receptive to that. By you being a passive leader and you having problems saying we know, and you not being able to critique, and you not being able to have some awkward conversations with people, you end up in a position where your people don't grow, they don't perform, they don't do any better.
You fail them. This comes down to how much you actually care. If you really care about people and you really care about your team, which you should, you have to understand that this is a requirement of caring. It's the truth. We We've grown up in the last 20 years in this society that says, kindness is niceness, meaning things that don't hurt people's feelings, things that don't press them, things that don't call them out. Be kind, be a good person. Being kind in a dynamic of where you care about people and you're trying to get them to improve and better their lives is the truth. It's It's not the non-truth. If you don't tell the truth, it's impossible to be kind. It's impossible. A lot of you guys think that you're being kind by letting these people off the hook, when in reality, you're creating a life for them that's going to be far more difficult, it's going to be far less fruitful, far less fulfilling, and ultimately, it costs them a lot. If you really care about people, you're going to have the ability to have those conversations.
Dude, let's go back in the timeline a little bit, because when you started in business, it was just you and Chris for six years, before you had your first employee, right?
We had a couple that helped us out along the way. Between them. They were friends.
Friends, right.
First official employees.
Yeah, real employee, six years in. What made you understand this lesson more than anything? How quick did that come from the moment you got What was your first employee?
I didn't know that when I got my first employee. What I'm saying to you, I didn't know. I was the guy who came in and waived the big stick and said, Do this or else. That wasn't the right way either. Was it effective? Yeah, it's effective, but it doesn't create a mutually beneficial relationship to where people start to respect and admire you because you're actually holding them to a standard. This was learned over the course of time. There was a lot of turnover whenever I first started having employees because I was a bad leader. Then I developed the understanding that there was an obligation for me to develop these people, not just try to get them to perform for the betterment of the company. Whenever I started to figure that out, things started changing. It became a real relationship. Ultimately, what really dawned on that made me flip that perspective was that, and this is a very key thing for all the leaders out there, I stopped trying to Coach them or lead them from a place of, you're going to stay here your whole life. I started recognizing that it was my job to equip them with the skills with the understanding that even if they left, they could look back and say, That's where I learned the most.
Whenever I switched it from this scarcity thing where I don't want my employees to leave, so I got to teach them only this and not that, and try to protect it, and started really just pouring into them and saying, Hey, man, look, and I say this openly. I've said this openly for a long time. I know not everybody's going to stay in our companies. That's not reality. But here's what I do know. I do know that when they go from here to there or anywhere else, I want them to succeed. I'm going to pour into them as much as possible. I think a lot of leaders really fuck this up because they have the idea that, especially if you're an entrepreneur, they have the idea that this person might get so good, he might take my job. That's actually a good thing. He's not going to take your job. This question here. Being able to replicate when you're an effective performer, being able to replicate that in other people is the most valuable skill. Any company worth of shit will recognize that and pay you very handsomely for that. We have to understand that if we really want to be effective, dude, we have to make everybody around us better, and we have to do so with the right intent, and we have to do so with the idea that we're doing it in the long game.
So even if they leave, even if they go somewhere, even if they do whatever they want to do, they're going to look back and they're going to say, Bro, that's the guy I learned the most from. And if we really look back, for those of you that played sports We look back on the coaches that we fucking hated at the time. Those are the coaches that you look back 5, 10, 20 years, and you're like, Man, that dude really cared about me. Not me because of that. I learned a a lot from that person. That's a tough thing to swallow because you want everybody to like you right now. You want everybody to be happy with you right now. But that's not the goal. The goal is performance. The goal is winning. The goal is developing. The goal is setting these people up for them to be high functioning, high earning, high standard individuals no matter where they go. And once you flip that mindset and you understand that that's your obligation as a leader, it gets real It's easy to coach people up because you're not trying to hold anything back. You see what I'm saying?
Typically, you come to the understanding, too. Like, those are the coaches. Those are the people that care the most out of anybody.
Absolutely.
Let me ask you this because I know we talk about entrepreneurship. There's very little barrier or entry, I guess, but it's not for everybody.
No.
Is leadership the same? Can anybody be a leader? Can anybody truly be a leader?
No, I think so. I I wasn't a natural leader. I wasn't someone who was vocal. I was always scared. Takes us back to sports. I was a good player, but I wasn't a good leader. I didn't have the confidence to look around at the other guys on the team and say, Hey, motherfuckers, we got to do better. But you know why I didn't have the confidence to do that? Because I wasn't doing all I could. When you are doing all that you can and you know that you're living at a high standard and you know that you're doing what you're supposed to do, it becomes real easy to look around at everybody and be like, Guys, what the fuck? Okay, this is not acceptable. The reason that we struggle becoming leaders is because we're not living the standard ourselves. Here's the other thing. When you live the standard yourself, you don't have to be this vocal leader. People see it. Leadership isn't about convincing people. It's about showing people. That's a complete It's a different thing. You can't stand there as someone who's not living the standard and point down the road that everybody's supposed to go down when you haven't gone down it yourself and expect them to be enthusiastic about going.
You're right. All right? It's It's more like, Hey, guys, I've been down this road. Let's fucking go. You're going to get here, too. To answer your question, yes, I do believe that everyone can be a leader in some aspect. Let's say you're driving the forklift in the warehouse house. But when you put the forklift away, you take care of it, you clean it up, you make sure that you're not hitting the pallet racks, you make sure that you're... Other guys who operate forklifts, all of a sudden, they start to do these things as well. It goes along with human nature, bro. People don't want to be the outsider. They want to be the insider. When we break this down to what our mission is here with the show, with the operator standard, with everything that we do, it's about becoming personally excellent so that other people will join into that line of work. They will join into that path. When you get enough people that are doing a thing, It is proven psychology that other people want to join it. This idea that's killing America right now is that someone else is going to take care of it, and no one else is.
No one's going to take care of your household. No one's going to lead your kids. No one's going to be the standard. No one's going to be the first guy of their friend group. These are things that matter, and they matter a lot. Yeah, dude, everybody can lead, but I think most people lack the confidence to lead because they don't live the standard themselves. I love it, dude. Think about it like this, dude. Let's just take a very basic example. We talk about this a lot on CTI, but we're going to talk about it right now. Let's say you live in a regular neighborhood, and you've got your neighbor to the left and your neighbor to the right. You guys all sit out on the cooler at night and you drink a beer and you hang out and watch the kids play roller hockey or whatever they do in the street. All of a sudden, you stop drinking the beers and you hang out with your friends, but you're drinking water. Then all of a sudden, you start working out and they start making fun of you. They're like, DJ, what the fuck are you doing now?
You're too good for us? But six months later, DJ shows up and he's down 100 pounds. All of a sudden, he's making more money. Then we're not sitting on the cooler with a piece of shit truck in the driveway anymore. We're sitting on the cooler with a brand new Chevy Tahoe LTZ. Okay? And your neighbors are like, What the fuck is going on with you? And you say, Well, I'm doing this and this and this, and this and this, and things are getting better. And now all of a sudden, it's not DJ is too good for us. It's, Man, fucking DJ is starting to kick some ass, bro. What are you doing? Okay? And now they start to ask. And now all of a sudden, you got fit DJ instead of fat DJ. And you got DJ who's making some more money. And you got DJ who's becoming a different person right in front of their fucking face. All right? And then all of a sudden, what happens? These guys, some of them will start to join. They'll say, Fuck, I want a new truck. Dude, I don't like being fat.
I want to see my dick.
Yeah, right. For real, dude. No real shit. Then Then all of a sudden, where there was one, there was two. And now there's two. So it's you and the house to the left. You guys are both getting it done. What do you think is going to happen to the guy on the right? He's going to join in, too. And this is what we have to understand in culture. How you live and how you lead and how you represent yourself matters way more than you think it does. And all of this propaganda that we've been faced with our whole entire lives to make feel like we're irrelevant. It doesn't matter. Just enjoy your freedom and enjoy your life. All of these things have taught us that we don't have control over our own reality when in fact, we control everything that dictates our reality. Reality isn't dictated by a bunch of dudes in Washington, DC. It's dictated by what you eat, how you move, what you drink, what you put in your mind, who you associate with, what actions you take. These These are the things that dictate our reality to a percentile of 98%, and we control those things.
If you don't believe that, you're denying reality. You're denying how it actually works. You are copping out and you are giving control over the propaganda machine by just accepting a reality that you're not ever happy with. When we look at society and we look at what's going on, we have to understand that the reason that society looks like shit is because we look like shit. When we look around and we say, Why does nobody care? It's because we don't care. When we look around and there's litter all over the street, it's because you didn't pick it up. When we look around their shopping carts all over the parking lot, it's because you didn't put them away. Because once those things become the standard, everybody joins in. When we talk about what it's going to take to fix our country, this is what it's going to take. It takes personal excellence. And once people grasp that concept, and we get enough people out there living at the standard, which, by the way, is getting much better, things will change, and they do change. Ask anybody who's transformed their lives, what What happened? You had some people that didn't, but you had some people that did, too.
And now all of a sudden, their lives look better, and the people that they know in their network start to join in. So this is a spider web, a ripple effect that nobody ever thinks about because we've been propagated to believe that our actions don't matter when in reality, our actions are the only thing that matters. Why do you think they spend so much time, so much money, so much energy, so much propaganda convincing us for 16 years in school that we're really not going to be anything and that the government's our friend and they'll take care of everything? That's propaganda, bro, to remove the understanding that we are in control. We as a country have We've lost that. If we want it back and we want a culture back that actually is a high trust, high functioning, high success, clean, functioning society, we have to be that ourselves. There is no blaming anybody else but ourselves. It's not ourselves collectively. It's you as an individual. People come to me all the time. They're like, Why do you care so much? Why is this such a big deal? Well, it's a big deal because I could see what What's going to happen if we don't stand up?
A lot of people don't have the perspective of what it looked like 40 years ago or 30 years ago compared to what it looks like now. I do have that. I'm telling you, it was much better then. If we wanted to get better, we have to be better. When the people get better and control the culture, everything else improves downstream of culture. Politics is downstream of culture. Everything, commerce, everything is downstream culture. Culture is the most important thing, and culture is made up of individuals. If you have shitty individuals, you're going to have shitty culture. If you have high functioning, high standard individuals, you're going to have high standard culture. That's it. That is it. It's that simple. But We have to understand what role we play as individuals in that.
I love it, dude. I love it. Let's get to our third and final question for you, Andy. Guys, Andy, question number three.
Andy, I say I value honesty and integrity, but I've caught myself cutting corners when no one's watching.
Nothing illegal, just small stuff, but it bothers me more than I expected. How do you realign your character when you notice yourself drifting? I know you speak a lot of businesses having core values and how important they are to the culture. Do I need to just set some for myself? Internal core values, that's a great question.
Yes, of course. But that's really not... The reason people allow things to slide is because, again, they misunderstand the game. When we talk about winning, all right? Winning is not complicated. It's very simple, dude. This is why the best coaches in the world say the same shit. You listen to nick Saban. Nick Saban says the same shit. It's one snap at a time. We're going to run this one play, and we're going to run it so many times that we cannot get it wrong. It's not we run it so many times to where we get it right, and then, oh, it's great. We run it so many times that every single time that we run it, it's almost impossible to fuck up. That is the understanding of what winning is. Okay? Kurt Signale from Indiana, who's beating everybody's ass. Same thing. We play one snap at a time. Okay? Now, I want you to take that idea, and I want you to apply it to a single day. All right? We are all playing a 24-hour game. This is not a 10-year game. It's not a five-year game. It's not a one-year game. It is a 24-hour game.
If we can win one day, we can win our life because all we have to do is replicate those wins over and over and over and over again. It's not understanding the game when it comes to winning. Now, when it comes to what this man is talking about, you have to understand there are things within the game that increase our ability to execute or decrease our ability to execute. I want you to think about it for a minute, like deposits and withdrawals. You worked really hard to develop this standard of discipline in your life. You've put a lot of investment. You've built up a really nice score inside of your life of discipline. Think of it like a John Madden game. This guy can run speed He's '98 agile. He's 10 intelligence, whatever. But let's say you get to discipline, and his discipline is a 90. And by the way, very dumb people can win. Very dumb people can win. In fact, a lot of very dumb people win because they don't overthink the fucking game. You understand that you have a 90 discipline, all right? You feel, I'm a disciplined person. But Here's what you don't understand, is that every time you cut that corner, every time you walk by that shopping cart, every time you walk by that litter, you know that it should be addressed, okay?
A lot of people aren't aware. And the people who aren't aware, it doesn't affect their score. But when you're aware, it does affect your score because you fucking know that it's wrong. So every time you walk past one of these things that gets addressed, even if you identify it as something small and insignificant, you're making a withdrawal from your score. So when you walk past that shopping cart, your score goes from a 90 to an 89. And then on the way out, you walk past that cup that's some piece of shit left in the parking lot, and now it goes from a fucking 89 to an 88. Then you do something else, and it goes to an 87. This is why discipline is something that has to be practiced on a daily basis by doing the things that you know need to be done to make investments in that score. Now, let's take it the opposite way, and you're a 90, and you see that shopping cart, and it's out there, and you're like, Fuck. All right, I'll take care of it myself. Now, it goes from a 90 to a 91, okay? Then on the way out, you see that same cup, and you're like, Man, what the fuck?
You pick that cup up. It goes from a 91 to a 92. But here's the thing that people don't understand. There's 10 people that saw you pick up that cup. There's 10 people that saw you put that shopping cart away. It's not just about making the investment or making the deposit or the withdrawal. It's about who sees you make the deposit or the withdrawal. These little things that you have a trouble passing up on, the reason you're cutting those corners is because you don't understand how it affects you. When you build a high discipline level, you naturally want to protect it. If you want to protect that high discipline level that you've built and you understand that little things take away from it, you're going to be much more likely to not cut the corners. Yes? Yeah. Okay. This is how you have to think of it. This issue that this person is talking about is a very common issue. This is also why people who are very disciplined and then find themselves in this place where their life fell apart, it's because you're not aware of how it works. You're misunderstanding the game. Same reason why people have a problem winning, dude.
They think they could set a goal today. There's a lot of people listening today that are saying, I'm going to change my life this year. But they said it last year, and they said it the year before, and they said it the year before that, and they said it the year before that, and they can't understand why shit isn't working out for them. Well, shit's not working out for you because you don't understand that this is a 24-hour game. When you win the day, and then you win the next day, and then you win the next day, and then you win the next day, let's say you lose a day, and then you win another day, that compounds into your overall result. Typically, how people do this, they say, This year, I'm going to He was 100 pounds. And then a week goes by, and they repeated the same pattern. They got to Wednesday, and they're like, Oh, fuck. Drink sure does sound good. I'm going to order a pizza. I've had a rough day. And then they're like, Fuck, I failed. Well, you know what? I'll start again on Monday. All right? And then what happens is that they repeat that cycle over and over and over again.
And by the time March comes around, they're up another 10 But they're telling themselves, Well, you know what? It's only March. I've got the rest of the year to do it, so I'll just go extra hard. They keep going down the same path. They don't change. Then they're up another 10 pounds. This is how I went from got all the way up to 350 pounds because I kept cutting myself off every Wednesday and starting over on Monday. Then between Wednesday and Monday, I'm like, Well, I'm starting Monday, so I'm going to get everything in that I can, and I'm going to start Monday. I meant it. I meant I was going to start Monday, but when Monday came around, it didn't really happen. When we think about why people fail and why their situation continues to get worse, it's because they don't understand how to play the game. Here's the cool thing. This is the coolest part about it. When you start to understand the game and you start to understand that I'm winning on a 24-hour basis, what happens is that over the course of time, if you continue to win every single day, and you win your weeks, and then you win your months, what happens is that winning becomes the standard.
It's not something that you pursue. It's not something that you're after. It's something that you become. That's where the power really lies. When you can take this winning standard of getting the day every single day and it becomes who you are automatically, there isn't this negativity or pressure or anxiety or frustration eating at you anymore because you know you're doing what you're supposed to do, and you're seeing it result in... You're seeing it produce real results. So think if you could take yourself from where you are right now to a place where winning wasn't something that you even had to try to do. It just became your life. And that's what happens when you understand the game and you start to create this identity of, I'm a fucking winner. And when your identity starts to develop into this idea of like, Well, dude, I'm winning. I win every day. Now you've become extra powerful because now no longer are you saying, Well, I hope I win. Or, I knew I could do this. Yeah, you end up on TV like Kurt Signelli from Indiana, and he's like, I fucking win, bro. Google me. People are like, Oh, he's so cocky.
No, he's not cocky. He's stating a fucking fact. I fucking win. Here's my track record. This is what we do in the Operator Standard, by the way, but it's not open, so you can't join right now.
Let me ask you this. I want to make sure we're setting some realistic expectations, specifically on the proverbial metaphorical bank account of discipline. Is it a true one-on-one ratio? I ask that because I think of it very similar to losing weight or a health journey. It's going to take some time for you to build up and get to where you want to be. But a couple of fuck-ups here and there, cheap meals here and there, that's going to set you back. Way more. You know what I'm saying? Is it a true one-to-one input-output when it comes to the discipline stuff? Missing that shopping cart versus putting that shopping cart back up, is it a true plus one?
Yes, it is. You know what I'm saying? Yes, because it's not about the task, it's about the awareness. It's not about how hard the task is, it's about the fact that you did it. So whether or not it's pushing the shopping cart into the corral or I've got this big pile of rocks that I got to shovel from here to there, and it's going to take me eight hours, but I know it needs to be done, the discipline is still the same that you gain because it's about the awareness of shit that needs to be done, and then you addressing it.
Just doing it. So it don't even matter what the task is. No. It's doing it.
I love it, dude. Bigger task. Your question is more so like, can certain things damage you and take you back further? Yes, they can. But that is different than what we're talking about. Okay. If you are to... One of the commonalities in diet culture is, well, if you fucking go Monday through Friday, and great, you could do whatever you want on the weekends. That's not true. Okay? Because mathematically, the weekends represent 27%, almost 30% of your fucking week. If you're doing it 60% of the time, what's that grade? What's a 60% in school? It's a fucking F. We have to understand that you can wipe out a week's progress with 30% of poor performance. That's the truth. But that's not the same question as what we're talking about with discipline. Discipline. That becomes the awareness that you have to handle things big or small when you know they need to be handled. Those make deposits or withdrawals units at a time, not mass units at a time. You don't get any more discipline from shoveling the rocks that you do from putting the shopping cart away. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely.
Because you're just aware that you're getting-You're aware that it needs to be done and you're handling it.
Every time that you handle the things that need to be done, you're making a deposit. Everything you don't, you're making a withdrawal. Most people aren't aware of that, and that's why they feel disciplined. One week and then six weeks later, they can't figure out why shit fell apart. Well, it's because the little things that you passed up along that whole entire way that you knew needed to be addressed, leaked into the things that actually dictate what your results are. Let's say you walked by the shopping cart, or you walked by the cup like we talked about. That leads into, well, it's just one meal. It's just drink. Then that leads into, I'll start again on Monday. Then that leads into, You know what? I'll start after the wedding, or I'll start March first, or I'll start this. Bro, there's only one fucking time to start, and that's right motherfucking now. If you can't fucking pick that up and do that, you're not going to win. That's reality. There's nothing casual about winning, dude. That's the biggest misunderstanding in culture. People think that they can casually win. They think that they can want to win and win.
There's nobody that's ever won. There's nobody that's ever been fit. There's nobody that's ever been rich. There's nobody that's ever done anything that you want to do but haven't done yet that did it casually. It's not reality. This thinking in society that everybody deserves to win and everybody will win with a casual effort, it's fucking stupid, dude. It's a gross misunderstanding of the game. It's total arrogance. It's total disrespect to everybody else that's trying to achieve the goal. It's you believing that you're much better than you are, and quite honestly, you're not. We have to understand, yes, there's people competing for what we want. Yes, there's a limited amount of spots at the top. Yes, everything fucking matters in getting there. You will never get there being casual about it. It's just not the real way it works. If you want to be a winner and you want to have a big fat bank account, you want to be in shape, and you want to have the life that you think if you want, you better understand that. Or you could just be like everybody else and accept it. Because I'm going to tell you this, you know what's worse than losing?
Is having all of these dreams and all of these goals and everything that you want to do and never fucking doing them. And then keep telling yourself, I'm going to do them one day. You'll waste your whole motherfucking life. So either accept right now that you're going to be a fucking winner and do it, or accept right now that you're not and just live your life. Because the worst thing you can is think about all of these things that you want to be and never fucking execute on them.
That's worse than losing.
It is worse than losing because it's agonizing. It's agonizing. It will eat you fucking alive.
Losing, at least you can say, Oh, at least I fucking tried.
No, or you could just say, Fuck, this is what I accept. I accept a mediocre life. I accept a subpar life. But then you can't be mad at people who don't accept that. Right? So Yeah, man. I mean, look, dude, it's very simple. People overcomplicate it. It takes a lot of effort, but anybody can do it. I certainly wouldn't want to be one of these people that talks about all these things they're going to do and then lives in that nether region of fucking, I want to do it, but I'm not doing it. That's going to destroy someone's life. So either accept that you're going to win or accept that you're not going to win and stop talking about it.
I love it, dude. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, that was three. Yeah, that's a hell of a way to start a week, dude.
All right, guys, we will see you tonight at 7. Don't be a hoe. Show the show. We're from sleepin' on the flow, now my jury box froze. Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove, counted millions in the cold. Yeah. All right, guys. We will see you tonight at 7: 00. Don't be a hoe. Let's show this show.
On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to deal with the pressure in the building phase of your life, how to lead a team without losing your identity in the process, and how to realign yourself when you catch yourself drifting away from your goals.