What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and you're listening to the show for the Realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the faken and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking Reality. Guys, today we have Q&A. F. That's where you submit the questions, and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions a few different ways. Dj is going to tell you how. Hey, guys.
The first way is you can email your questions in to askandy@andyfrisella. Com. You can also drop your questions in the comments of the Q&A episodes on YouTube.
Where are the Q&A episodes now?
Brand new page, man. That's Andy for Selling Motivation on YouTube. Make sure you guys are subscribed to that one as well. It's all the get your ass better.
It's all the Q&AFs. It's all the real talks, all the 75 hard verses, and the main YouTube page is going to be for CTI. This is your first time joining us. This is Q&A. We also do a number of different formats of the show. Shows within the show is what we like to say. We will have our Cruise the Internet Live, actually, tonight at 7: 00 PM Central. You check that out. Do that a few times a week. Then we have real talks. Real talk is just 5-20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. Then we 75 Hard Verses. That's where people who have completed the 75 Hard program come on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they were after, and how they use the 75 Hard program to transform their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is available in its entirety for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. If you just scroll down the audio feed, go to episode 208, you'll find it. There's also a book. The book is It's available at andyfricella. Com.
It's called The Book on Mental Toughness. Great book. Sell the shit out of it. Still not required. If you want the program for free, get it episode 208. The book just has a lot more in-depth information in it. Speaking of 75 Hard, for those of you, I know everybody's talking about what they're going to do after the New Year's. We have a massive, massive, massive, biggest ever group of people starting 75 Hard at the new year. Do it with us, man. Change your fucking life. With that being said, we have a fee for the show. The fee is very simple. Do us a favor and share the show out. We put a lot of time, a lot of effort into the show. We don't run ads on the show, nor have we ever. We just ask very simply that you help us share it out. Don't be a hoe.
Share the show.
All right. What's up, dude?
I thought we had to do something special for tonight's live. Yeah? Yeah. But it has to I wanted to wear it, so I've been doing some trying on things. I tried on a really awesome suit that you got me. It fits beautifully. Yeah? Fits beautifully. I feel like it would be a nice reward for the people to see, but There has to be something in it from them. You know what I'm saying? What's the buy-in?
To see you in a suit?
Yeah. No, to see me in that suit, though. That special one. Oh, yeah? No, not the birthday one. I don't know, man. That's later. You know what I'm saying? We got to have something. We got to have something, dude. People been asking for it, but like...
Hey, what are you drinking over there, dude?
Dude, this is the best one.
You know what? I'm not going to lie. It's actually pretty damn good.
Bro, it brings me back to fucking when I was a little kid. I used to love Hawaiian Punch.
Yeah, me too.
And this is carbonated Hawaiian. I don't know if I can legally say that.
I don't know what it's called. It's maybe it's called...
Paradise Punch, dude. When are these rolling out?
Right after the first of the year. They'll be on the shelves. So we got that and the-Grape's got to watch out, bro. And the Silver Lightning coming out. Yeah, Grape is going to have-I call it White Lightning. People didn't like that one. But yeah, we got those coming out. I actually haven't tried the Silver Lightning, but I did try the Punch flavor. Holy shit, man.
That Paradise Punch is fucking-It's really good. It's a punch of paradise.
It sure is. Punch you right in the mouth. That's right. A little Paradise.
Anyway. Yeah, man.
It is good, dude. It is fucking-Okay, A couple of guys on the team out at UFC, they've been trying it, and I've been getting text about it, dude, and they're like, damn.
I'm telling you, Grape is going to be in second place. There's no doubt about it. Because it is in first place.
That's your swirl talking.
Oh, is that what you're talking? Oh, man. Well, yeah, man. You good?
Feeling good? I'm good, man.
Let's make some people better today. All right, let's do it. Shall we? Guys, I got three good ones. Let's dive into these. Guys, any question? Number one. Hey, Andy. Andy, I'm 32. I've got a decent job, a family that depends on me. And on paper, I should be grateful. But I feel behind and frustrated all the time. I'm disciplined for a few weeks, then I fall off and hate myself for it. How do you stop the cycle of starting strong and then disappearing on yourself?
Man, that's something I think most people struggle with. That's actually one of the biggest reasons that we started developing the Operator Standard, which doesn't really do anybody any good right now because it's closed for quite some time. It's going to be invite only when we open it back up. But That won't be for a while. But that system actually does what we're talking about here. But the reality is it comes down to awareness. We all struggle with this. We all know what that's like. We've all been disciplined at certain points. We've all been undisciplined Those ebbs and flows are consistent amongst everybody across whoever is trying to practice discipline. That's why discipline is hard. That's why it is something that most people struggle with. The biggest thing that you have to really understand is to become aware when you start to slip. Right when you start to slip, you have to be able to identify it. When we think about 75 hard and live hard, that is one of the skills that it tunes up. Anybody who's been doing it or done it or lived that lifestyle, you know exactly what I'm talking about. When you first start off, it's a little bit of work.
It gets a little bit harder, it gets a little bit harder. Then it starts to feel easy once you catch momentum. Then at a certain point in the program, it gets hard again because it becomes very monotonous. This is a reflection of how life hits us with these little, I guess, sneak-ups of us being lazy and how it starts, is that when things are going well, they're going well, and then they tend to get harder again and we start to slip. All right? What you have to do is to start becoming a where, not only when you start to slip, but what causes you to slip. Okay? What is it?
Where are you at? Who you're with? Yeah.
What is it you're struggling with? What starts it? Is it food? Is it a night out with the homies? Is it you miss a couple of workouts. All of those things, even though it might seem like nothing, that's where the slip starts. This idea that you can just become disciplined and you're going to stay disciplined your entire life is not real for most people. Discipline is a perishable skill, and it's totally normal to go in and out. That's why we have to be aware that it's a perishable skill so that we can recognize when it starts to happen and keep the slide from going any further immediately. When we think about what people mostly think about discipline, most people think discipline is something that they're born with or something that they can create, but then will stick. And neither one of those things is true. Discipline comes from the repetitive action of holding a standard that is high and that retrains your brain to acknowledge when things are hard for you to push through them anyway. That's just not a natural thing for people to be aware of based upon how we're taught about discipline and what most people think it is.
Like I said, People think that you're either born with it or you're not. I thought that for a long time. Or then once you have it, it stays. Those things are not true. You have to practice it every single day. One of the things that you can do to reframe this slip from happening is that you could start to understand the reality of how discipline is built. Everything matters. Every little thing. When you see something that needs to be addressed or something that's inconvenient or something that you know needs to be done, and then you walk past it without addressing it, you're taking away, you're making a withdrawal from your discipline skill set every single time. That That could be something simple. That could be seeing a shopping cart in the parking lot rolling around, and you recognize it as, Fuck, that's not good, but that's not my shit. I don't need to handle that. That takes away from your own discipline, as silly as that sounds. For a lot of you guys out there, It could be something that is as simple as not replacing the toilet paper whenever the toilet paper rolls empty.
These are little bitty things that nobody thinks about when they think about discipline. When you don't really understand the dynamic it being an account that you put deposits in or take withdrawals out of, it becomes where people can't really recognize where these slides start to happen. When you truly understand what discipline is all about, when you truly understand that the smallest things can cause you to slide back to who you were before, you start to value that momentum and that discipline a little bit differently, and you start to recognize when things need to be addressed, that when you don't handle them, you're walking away and you're like, Fuck, that just cost me. I think a lot of it is just awareness about how it works, how you put deposits in, how you make withdrawals out. Just like a bank account, dude, you're going to want to deposit way more than you withdraw. Otherwise, you're going to end up with a negative balance, which is what puts people in this place of frustration, doubt, misery, looking in the mirror, hating their life, feeling frustrated about where they're at. When you just start to really understand it, it really brings a new perspective to the little things that help keep this discipline tuned up high.
People, a lot of times, they think, I'm going to be disciplined. I'm going to go out and run 100 miles. That's not how that works, dude. It is little things compounded over time that you know need to be done and doing them. It's not just keeping promises to yourself, which is what everybody likes to say. It's about identifying how it actually works and then operating within those rules. Most people just overlook it. That's why they find themselves sometimes at a very high place and then a very low place. But I could tell you as someone who has developed a very strong bank account with discipline, before I really understood that I was in the same boat as this person was. I would get good, get bad, get good, get bad. Things would go well, then they would go bad. I thought it was just up to the universe. Things are going well now. Things are going bad now. I've got momentum now. Oh, I don't have momentum. When you start to realize that you're in control of all of that, the game changes. Honestly, this is why the book is such a good resource, The Book on Mental Toughness, because it really explains this in-depth.
To the other point that he made about always feeling behind, look, dude, ambitious people are going to always feel behind. They're going to always feel like they're struggling. They're going to always feel like they're not doing enough. We, as ambitious people, don't have the luxury of being able to Coast and be happy with ourselves. No matter how much money you've got, no matter how good of shape you're in, no matter what you're working on or what impact you're making, if you're an ambitious person, you're going to always feel like you're not doing enough. But that's a hell of a lot better place to be than the someone who thinks, Oh, I'm doing everything I can. Really, they're not doing shit. Okay? So one person has unsatisfied satisfaction with their life, justifiably so, because their life looks like a shit show. And the other person might have a much better existence, but they understand, I can do more, I can be better, I can always improve. And that creates this feeling of uncomfortableness even when you're winning. But the key thing to understand here is that that's a good thing. We need people like that. We need people who are never satisfied.
We need people who are always driven. We need people who are You're never going to say, Oh, well, this is good enough, because the reality is that good enough mentality is what put this country in the shitty position it's in currently. If you're really serious about changing yourself, and you're really serious about impacting people, and you're really serious about fixing what's going on in the world, you have to understand that you play an important role in that, and that's a burden that you have to carry. Part of it is going to be always feeling like there's more to do. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. That means there's something right with you.
I think in this case, though, it's fair to say that if you're feeling like you're behind, it's probably because you know you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. Correct.
Well, yeah.
That's a red flag popping up in your head. You're ignoring.
Well, yeah, for sure, dude. I mean, that's part of it, too. When you're not doing enough for real, yeah, you're going to fucking know it. You bet your ass you're going to feel it. Yeah, right. There's that, too. I assume the people that listen to this show are ambitious people, and that's why they listen. But yeah, dude, if your life's shitty and you're fucking out of shape, and your bank account sucks, and you're not doing what you need. You're going to feel like shit. You're going to feel anxious. You're going to feel like something's not right. You're going to feel frustrated. You're going to feel like dog shit, man. That's the important point that you need to recognize is that because of the way that you're wired and the way that you think, if you're not constantly progressing, you're going to always feel like shit. It'll be 10 times. That's right. Are you going to feel like shit because you're having to work a little harder? Or are you going to feel like shit because you're not doing anything? The funny thing is, it's almost like a paradox. People who live the 75 hard and live hard lifestyle know this.
When you're doing more work, you feel better because at the end of the day, you could look yourself in the face and say, Bro, I did everything I could do today, and then you get to do it again tomorrow. Then when you wake up the next day, tomorrow, you're not as anxious or as frustrated because you can look back on even just one day and say, Okay, well, I've got some momentum rolling.
Even if the fruit's not there yet.
Right. What can happen is over the course of 30, 40 days of pushing and winning days and making sure that you're doing what you should do, that momentum starts to catch and you start to feel really good because you know you're doing everything you could be doing. If you know that you're doing everything you could be doing, there's really nothing else you could have done in a 24-hour period. How can you feel frustrated? You can't. You're going to feel peaceful. You're going to have low anxiety. You're going to have high confidence. These are things that all the gurus out there, they try to preach this balanced shit and, Oh, you deserve some time. Bro, the reason you feel like shit is because you think you deserve time off. You've been taking time off your whole my fucking life, which is why your fucking life looks like a dumpster fire. When you hear all these people who are saying nice platitudes on the fucking internet, realize that they're doing that for likes, shares, comments from victim-minded people who want an excuse for why they don't have to get up and do what the fuck they're supposed to do.
They're enabling low performance. They're enabling lack of confidence. They're enabling lack of discipline. These people who that appeals to, all they're doing is looking for an excuse to not do it. Unfortunately, we live in a culture that is full of fucking victim mentality. That is most people's default right now, and that's why the culture has to change. When you see all this stuff online, you got to understand this stuff's not for you, dude. This is for people that are still living in the victim mentality and have no intention of changing it at all. But here's the thing. Those people are going to continue to be miserable. They're going to continue to be anxious. They're going to continue to feel like shit. No amount of affirmations or breaks or rest or mental health days is going to fucking fix it. It's no different than a few years ago when everybody was talking about body positivity, and they're like, Oh, I'm so fat, and I love it. But yet, here we are three years later, and they came out with Ozempic, and now they've lost 100, 200 pounds. It's like, Oh, I thought you love that. That's right.
I thought that was what that was about. It's exposing the lie. I've been fat. I know what the fuck it's like. No matter how hard you try, no matter what you tell yourself, you know it's shit, which even makes you feel worse because you know you're lying to yourself to justify your lack of action that you know you should do. So it doesn't serve people in any way. Unfortunately, Unfortunately, we live in this world where we have predatory therapy. I'm not saying all therapy is bad, but not everybody needs fucking therapy, bro. And we have a bunch of predatory therapists who convince people they're broken, who play to the victim mentality, collect money off of it. And I have to ask you this, what interests do they have in solving your problems if you're going to pay them more money while you're still broken? You got to use your fucking brain, bro. You're being played. You're not being told the truth. You're being told what you want to hear in the moment, which makes you feel good for five fucking seconds until you go home and have to look yourself in the eye and you know it's still fucked up.
Okay? So until you address this for real, it doesn't matter what book you read. It doesn't It doesn't matter what mastermind you go to. It doesn't matter what therapy you use or what retreat you go to. It doesn't fucking matter, bro. You know what the fucking problem is. And until you address it, you're going to feel like shit no matter what anybody else says to you.
So Because you brought up this awareness piece, which I think ties into this really important here. Your whole mindset is just win the day. Yeah. Especially in the season that we're in.
That's not my mindset. That's reality. That's how it works. That is how it works. Yes, I'm the first motherfucker that's been talking about this for the last 20 years, okay? But that's the rules of the game. It's not a week or a month or a year or five years. It's fucking today, bro. And if you win today, you're winning the game. When you win the next day, that's the game won again. And then you stack those wins over the course of time, which creates the external outcome that you're looking for. But But the internal outcome materializes way before that.
It's a very important mindset, though.
Listen, dude, this is how you win. There isn't a fucking other way to win. It's this way. If you're not winning your fucking days over the course of time, how can you win? You can't. That's real. It's not my theory. It's just how it fucking works.
It's law, dude. But on that, though, I've been on a transformation journey, if you will. Because of the season we're in, we got Christmas coming up. I know a lot of people are getting ready for those New Year's resolutions and shit, right? Yeah. Speak to the person who's hearing this right now. I'm like, damn, okay, yes. I got to get to it. About to get to it. Okay, cool. When are my days? I know for me, for sure, There were days, dude, where I just had to win the fucking hour. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Let's tie awareness into this because sometimes it's going to be like that.
Well, that's where we talk about production pivots, okay? A production pivot is when your bitch voice, the voice that talks you out of all the shit you know you're supposed to do for what they want to do right now, you have to become aware of that. When you start to become aware of that voice, telling you these things, what you do and how you beat it is that whatever the fuck it's telling you to do, I just traveled for three days and I'm a little tired, and I don't feel like doing my workout. When you hear that shit, you go work out right then. Immediately. It doesn't matter if it's fucking 10 o'clock at night, because every time you act in opposition of that voice, you are shrinking its power over you every single time. That's what we're talking about, bro. When you walk past a shopping cart and you fucking say, Oh, well, that's something- That guy's an asshole.
Who had left that?
No, you're the asshole because you fucking left it there. When you start to realize that this is about Every single conversation that happens in your brain and you become aware of that, then it's very easy to squash it with direct action in opposition immediately. Sometimes it is going to be you're fighting for the hour. If you're going to win days, bro, sometimes you're going to have to fucking fight. Sometimes it's going to be really fucking hard. Sometimes you're going to feel like the exact opposite of what needs to be done, and you got to do it anyway. Otherwise, it's going to cost you way more than the temporary discomfort that it's going to cost you. Dude, you guys all know what this is like. You have a conversation that you've been putting off, but then you have it and you feel better. You don't want to work out. It's the last thing you want to do. But then you go do it and you're like, Fuck, dude, I'm glad I did that. Everybody knows this, but they don't label it in their mind or become aware of it. They never really dig in and say, Okay, how do I get past this voice in my head that sounds like a lazy, fat, disgusting piece of fucking shit that doesn't do anything and always telling me to take it easy?
How do I get past that? You do the fucking opposite, bro. If you have a leader and your leader is always saying, Do this, do this, do this, and you start doing the opposite, you're telling the leader, That motherfucker ain't going to listen to me. It's no different with your voice in your head. And after a while, in the job market, you're going to get fired. That's right. But the reality is, in your brain, after a while, your bitch voice learns this and says, The motherfucker is not going to listen to me, so I'm not going to say anything.
Let me just keep my ass quiet. Exactly. I love it, dude. I love it, man. Speaking of ambitious people, let's get to question number two. Andy, I love you, dude.
Oh, thank you. Seriously. That's what he says.
Andy, I've been head down working for the last five years, grinding. I I keep chasing the next goal thinking, I finally feel proud or content, but every time I hit it, I move the finish line and I feel empty again. Is that just how driven people are wired, or am I missing something bigger here in life?
Well, Look, if you get to a point where you're not acknowledging the progress that you've made at all, you are always going to feel that way. If you get to the point where you hang on to shit that you've done and you over-celebrate and you think it's a big deal, you're going to lose. You have to find a middle ground of being able to acknowledge and be grateful for what you've accomplished and what you've done and where you're at, but also understand that there's a lot more to do. Neither one of those extremes is good for you. If you can never, ever recognize that you've done anything, you're going to feel like you're spinning your wheels, even if your whole world is materialized around you. This has happened to me a number of times where everybody Everybody from the outside looks and they're like, Fuck, dude, it's amazing everything you've done. I'm like, Bro, I don't even fucking know shit. But that's because my vision is so big in my head. And if I catch myself not being grateful for it, then I really feel like shit. When you start to feel… You know you're doing everything, you're producing results, you're producing the outcome, you're meeting your goals, you're exceeding your goals, you're resetting the bar, if you don't stop and say, Okay, we're doing something here, I'm grateful for that, you're going to feel like shit.
But most people aren't that way. Most people go the other way. Most people live in the land of what the fuck they used to be. Let me tell you something, bro. Nobody gives a fuck what you used to be. They don't care. They don't care that you won the MVP in high school. They don't care that you went out with the prom queen. They don't care that you got a great job right out of college. Then 10 years later, you're still working at the same shit. They don't care. The world only cares about what the fuck you are doing now? That is it. That is it. They don't care about what you're going to do, and they don't care about what you did. They care what you're doing now. That is something that we can take from the world and apply to ourselves as truth because, dude, it is true. You shouldn't be hanging on to these old wins. Yeah, you could acknowledge them when you're having a beer with your buddies, be like, Hey, man, remember that time I ran for 200 yards? You know what I'm saying? You could talk about it, but you're not walking around in your fucking football outfit talking about 1987 when you were You're a stud.
Yeah, my home run ball is still falling.
Yeah, you're not a stud anymore. You're a has been. It's like that dude. Remember that guy that e-mailed in a while back, and he was like, I'm 5'7, and I'm 38, and I'm 350 pounds, and I can still run with all the young guys. No, you can't. I'm like, Dude, what the fuck myth are you living in? No, you can't. Yeah. That's where most people live. Most people live there. They live in the past. They don't live in the future. But if you- Then the other people are like, Oh, I'm going to do all of this shit.
I'm going to do all of this.
But they're not doing anything. Well, yeah, of course. But the point is, if you're the other person who says all this shit they're going to do, and then you've also backed it up with really good results to this point, but you don't acknowledge what you've done, you're going to feel really bad, too. The only difference is you're probably going to have a lot of money, and you're probably going to have a really cool life. But what uses a really cool life if you can't be grateful for what the fuck you did? There's a balance there. You don't You're not going to overcelebrate, but you also don't want to, I guess, minimize what it is that you've been able to do. You've got to find a good place of gratitude with a big purpose, and you have to act with discipline, which, by the way, we talk about all this time is the equation of being an actual happy human on a day-by-day basis. People think that happiness is some destination place they're going to get to when in reality, it's a way that you feel and that you try to replicate over and over and over again in your life.
There is no fucking happy land, bro. When you get here, you're going to be happy, or when you get there, you're going to be happy, or you get over here, you're going to be happy. No. Did you do your shit today? Were you grateful for today? Did you exercise discipline today? Did you work towards your purpose today? If you did all of those things, you're going to feel good. You're going to be happy. And that happiness will come and then it will go. And then tomorrow, when the new game starts, you get to start over again. And that's how happiness actually works. But nobody teaches that because when you could tell someone, Hey, eventually this, eventually that, we're going to get you to here. Just pay me some more money.
Like, happiness is coming, a promise.
Bro, the reality is, is most of these motherfuckers are just fucking cult leaders. It's funny because people always say things to me. They're like, Oh, you're over there running a cult? Actually, no, because cults centralize power around the leader. Meaning, if you have one of these predatory therapists, the predatory therapist will convince you that they're the only ones with the solution, and then you got to pay them money to get the fucking thing. The opposite of that is decentralizing power. It's teaching everybody to be self-sufficient. It's giving them their own leadership skills. It's pushing them to stand up for themselves and lead their families and their friends. That's what the fuck I do. Most of these motherfuckers out here in the world, it's all about money. They don't intend to fix anything. They don't intend to fucking do anything positive except convince people that they need them to feel better. It's just not true.
Andy, I want to zoom in on a piece of this question, specifically on moving the goalpost. He says he keeps chasing next goal. Once he gets there, he already moves the next finish line. Yeah. Is that the right way to do it?
If you want to win.
Okay, let's talk about it.
If you want to win, okay, we just talk about two groups of people. One group of people, the people who don't do shit, they'll set a goal. They won't ever even hit the goal. They'll get 60% of the the goal, and then they'll pretend they hit the goal. Or they'll see the goal and it's within range, and they'll stop because now it's within range. They don't follow through. Winners do a completely different version of that. They get to 80%, they realize they're going to hit the goal, and then they set the bar further out, and then they fucking rush through the goal without ever acknowledging that they passed it. Got it. Okay. You certainly want to be in that group more than you would want to be in the other group. That's normal for ambitious people. Every motherfucking winner I've ever met, every champion, every billionaire, every person I've ever known that's created massive amounts of success in their life, they operate the way I'm talking about and the way this man's talking about. They get to 80%, 90% of the goal. They say, Okay, I'm going to fucking hit this. I'm going to keep moving to go to this.
That's the way champions think, dude. Every champion that's ever existed in the history of humanity humanity operates on the idea of resetting the bar over and over and over and over again. That's how you end up with these exceptional individuals, because every time they reset the bar, what the bar becomes is actually their new minimum. That's their operating homeostasis. That is where they live. If you're the person who gets 60% to your goal and never hit it, you're going to end up back where you were, and that's where you live. It's just a matter of what discomfort would you like to deal with? Would you like to deal with the discomfort of never achieving anything, being totally unhealthy, being broke, being dumb, being a fucking human drain on society, and then feeling mad about it and it being difficult, you not being able to go to dinners, you're not being able to drive the car you want or buy the house you want or take care of the family the way you want. That's uncomfortable. Or you could deal with the uncomfortableness of, I'm going to reset the bar over and over and over again, and I'm going to I'm going to live that way.
That's the two options, dude. The second option, while it may feel more difficult, it's actually far less difficult than living like the other guy. There's going to be uncomfortable feelings on either way. It's just choosing which way that you want it to be. If you're a champion, if you're going to be a great creator, builder, bekomer of great your greatness, how he's operating is the way that people do it. Okay? And yes, there's some emptyness that comes with that, but only when you're not able to acknowledge how far you've come. And so what we're talking about for this gentleman is, Hey, dude, you just got to tweak your gratitude up a little bit. That's the bottom line. If you want to answer this question, you want to feel better, tweak your gratitude up a little bit. Work that into your daily routine. At the end of your day, be grateful. At the beginning of your day, be grateful. When you fucking step out of bed, bro, it shouldn't be like, Oh, man, Another day I get my ass kicked. It should be, I'm the baddest motherfucker alive, bro, and whatever comes my way, I'm going to fucking handle it.
That's the first thought that should come out of your head. And by the way, the first day you do it, you're going to not even believe it yourself. But after a month or after two months of doing that every day, you're going to be surprised at how much fun you're having, kicking the shit out of everything. Then bring that back to what we talked about on the 24-hour scale. A lot of people never feel like they did anything because they don't define the outcome. They define the outcome, like we said, this magical place I'm going to eventually get to that I'm going to do this and this and this, and then I get here, I'm going to get this, I'm going to get that, I'm going to be there. There is no there. There's only now. If you define the win as, did you win the 24 hours? You can win every single day. I don't mean that from, I won my day, I won my day. I mean from a feeling of fucking being a winner. You're going to feel like a fucking winner. Okay? And this is why... I mean, this is not...
It's a piece of what the operator standard is doing for people. But yeah, you have to define the outcome that you're looking for, the big picture outcome. You have to break it down into critical tasks that you would execute on a daily basis, and you have to define the wins on a 24-hour basis, because those are only wins that fucking matter, bro. And the reason most people can't do that 24 hours is because they do this shit. In a year from now, I'm going to be here. And then they're like, Okay, a week goes by, right? And they're like, Okay, well, I still got time. And then another week goes by. They're like, Oh, I got time. I'll hit it extra hard. And then 40 weeks go by, and they're like, Fuck, I'm just going to starve myself, right? And it becomes this fucking negotiation, and you're going to feel like shit the entire time because you know, no matter what you say, no matter how much you try to justify it, no matter what story you tell, you know you're full of shit. And how do you How do you feel about your fucking people that you know that are full of shit with everything that they say to you?
We all have one. We all have somebody we know who comes and tells us all the time about all the shit they're going to do, and they never do it. How do you feel about that person? You're like, Dude, that guy's a bullshitter. He ain't doing none of that shit. Your brain knows that. You know that. You know when you're full of shit. It doesn't matter how you pretend on an external basis, you know, which is why you can't justify your way out of it and you're going to feel like shit. This is why, like I said, Lizzo, who was 5,000 pounds and who's now down to a respectable weight, now she's happy about it. Okay, good for her. I'm proud of her. It's a great thing. But what I don't like is how she tried to convince the whole motherfucking world that it's cool being fat. It ain't cool being fat. Okay, your life's not going to be as good. You're not going to make as much money. You're going to be unhealthy. You're letting your family down. There's all these other things that come with it that people never consider. And by the way, did we not all know that was bullshit?
That's right. Did anybody ever really believe that someone is so happy with their body? I'm not saying that you got to be perfect. I'm not saying that you got to have a six-pack. I'm not saying that you got to be fucking ripped. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is where the pride comes from, where the wind comes from is knowing that you've done everything that you can do, and the result is what it is. Some people are going to have better genetics. Some Some people are going to have better connections. Some people are going to have a special knowledge. Some people are going to have a special skill. But most people can find, all people can find massive levels of improvement in their lives. So we're not talking about perfection here. We're talking about what you know to be true in your brain. And if you're doing everything you can, it's literally impossible to fucking feel anxious about it. You can't feel it. Dude, every single motherfucker listens. I challenge you, dude. Do everything you're supposed What are you supposed to do today. You're supposed to work out, work out. You're supposed to do cardio, do cardio.
You're supposed to eat healthy, eat healthy. You're supposed to drink a gallon of water, drink a gallon of water. You're supposed to have this conversation, do that. At the end of the day, if you could tell me that you still feel anxiety and doubt and feel like shit, you're lying because it's impossible. You can't feel bad when you know you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing. It's impossible. It's real, bro.
I love it, man. Guys, Andy, we got one more question for you. This is our third and final question. Guys, Andy, question number 3. Andy, I started a business last year while working full-time. I'm doing everything myself, working nights and weekends, but the money still isn't there yet. At what point do you know if you're being patient or if you're just lying to yourself and you should pivot a quick.
Well, this goes back to the question we just answered. You've got to be very honest about the progress that you're making. Are you making some progress? Are things moving forward? Maybe you're not making the money that you need to make. Maybe you haven't a single dollar yet. But are you having wins toward the outcome? It's awareness. The theme of this show is fucking awareness. You have to understand and tell yourself the truth. Dude, this is real shit because your business plan might be fucking terrible. There's business plans that just ain't going to work. They're not going to fucking work. They don't have enough margin. There could be a gazillion reasons. There's no interest. Just because you start a business doesn't mean the market's going to reward it. You have to be able to be very honest with yourself, which hurts, right? Nobody wants to have an idea, admit to themselves that it sucks and say, Okay, I got to change this up. But it's necessary for building something that actually produces results. In this situation, I'll tell my story on this, okay? Look, the first The next day, I was ever in business, I sold $7, okay?
The next day-I'm not laughing at that. I'm sorry. No, it is what it is.
I could think how pump you would be, though, and it's like, Fuck, seven bucks.
Okay, well, the next day, I didn't sell anything.
Fuck.
Okay? What do you think I was thinking? Fuck. Right. It took us eight months to have a day that we'd sold $200 on. If you think that I was terrified and doubtful and scared and wondering if I was making the right call, you're damn fucking right. Every motherfucking day. I'm actually really grateful for that period of time because what it did was it made me hyper aware of the details and the indicators and to look at things. It almost made me crazy about it, to the point where our own teams and the companies I'm involved in fucking hate me a little bit. No, for real, dude, because I will come in and say, Bro, that ain't good enough. It's just not. What it did was it trained me to be hyper vigilant about the details details, but also to be unemotional about the details. It either is or it isn't. It's either fucking good or it's not. I don't give a fuck if it was my idea or your idea or Sal's idea or fucking Dana White's idea. And by the way, amongst all effective operators, they all operate this way. They don't look at it emotionally.
Nobody says, Oh, I got this great idea, and I want it to work. They look at it and they say, All right, here's the feedback we got. Here's what's happening. We haven't had any wins here. This isn't working. We've got to change it. But to the contrary of that, a lot of people will change things too often, too quickly. So what ends up happening is, and I've used this example a number of times on the show, It's like running a marathon. You can never finish a marathon and get the reward of running a marathon if you start over every fucking seven miles. Or you get 15 and you say, Oh, fuck, I could have done it better. Let me start over. You have to be very honest about how much progress you're making. Is what you're doing viable? Will the market take it? Is there enough margin in it? What's the volume of which I have to sell to make it worthwhile? These are all real data analysis metrics that you have to look into to separate emotion from your idea. Ideas don't mean fucking shit, bro. In fact, if you want to watch how this works, There's a really good documentary on Enron on Netflix right now that explains this.
The reason they fucking failed is because they thought that ideas won. Ideas don't win. Actions win. Reality wins. Sales win. Margins win. Adoption wins. These are real things that you have to pay attention to. When you're starting out, it can be very difficult to do that because, one, you lack experience. You don't know. Two, you're emotionally attached. You've already built this story in your head of what life's going to be like when you get there, right? So you're very emotional about it.
You already told your friends and family is what you're doing.
Yeah, but dude, listen, you should be emotional about where you're going, but you shouldn't be emotional about how the fuck you get there. Okay? So yes, I want this life. Yes, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get there. Yes, I'll eat dog shit. I'll sleep on the floor. I'll fucking take no pay for 10 years. Okay? Whatever the fuck it I'm going to get there. But you have to be unemotional about the engine that's getting you there because sometimes you got a bad engine. Sometimes it's not going to have the horsepower to get you there. When we talk to someone who's in this situation, you've got to understand that aspect, but you also have to understand the aspect of time. Yes, not everything will work. But if the indicators are right and you're moving in the right direction and you're paying attention and you're having little wins and things are indicating, Okay, People do like this. I don't want to talk about your fucking friends and family either. All your friends and family will tell you bullshit. Can't listen to them. If you know them, can't listen to them. It doesn't matter if you knew them from 20 years ago or five minutes ago.
Are they your dad or your mom? You cannot fucking listen to them, bro. They will tell you bullshit, okay? And they will tell you bullshit both ways because some of those people don't want you to win, okay? So they'll talk you out of something. Some of those people want you to win and feel good right now, but they're reinforcing something that's not going to work, okay? So you have to fucking not listen to anyone but the actual consumer that you are unaffiliated with that is legitimately either buying the product or not. When you're first starting out, what ends up happening is people don't pay attention to those metrics. Because, like this guy says, I'm not making any money. Things aren't happening. They'll switch from thing to thing to thing to thing. They'll go one year down the road and be like, This isn't fucking working. They'll go two years down the road. They'll be like, This doesn't work. I'm going to try something else. Then that doesn't work for two years. Then they try something else. Then that doesn't work for two years. Then they try something else. Before they know it, they're 50 fucking years old and nothing's worked.
They think it's them when in reality, they just didn't let the fucking cake bake. You have to understand that time is a real component to success for very practical reasons. One, and the main one, is that word of mouth takes time. Now, we live in a great society where word of mouth can spread instantly, but it still takes time. We are very fortunate to live in this time because when I grew my first business, something with Superstores, that shit didn't exist. I had to create a good experience, have someone go out to their Friday night party or whatever, and hope that they have a conversation that comes up and where I get a good story and they recommend somebody. That's not the case anymore. You can get that instantly. We could speed this process up tremendously.
But a year is still in it.
No, fuck it, dude. You can't do anything in a fucking year. Bro, it takes longer. It takes a shit. Dude, a year is nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. But Seven years of the same thing not producing a result, that's not good either. That's right. You have to pay attention and you have to understand that things take time. What if I had quit? What if I had quit three years in when I still hadn't made a dollar? Fuck. Okay? No, I want you to really think about the impact, not just my personal success, the impact. What would have not happened had I quit? You see what I'm saying? Yeah, bro.
You definitely would be listening to this show right now.
No, you wouldn't be listening to the show. Live Hard, 75 Hard, never been created. Msceo never created. Real AF never created. Companies that employ thousands of people never created. I mean, fuck, dude. None of this shit would exist if I would have quit after three years when I wasn't getting fucking paid. Unfortunately for me, there were times where I wanted to quit that my situation didn't allow me to quit because I didn't have any other options. That gets into another principle, zero option mentality. In the beginning, you may not have any other options. You may not have something to fall back on. That's a fucking blessing. But as you become more and more successful and more and more comfortable, it becomes a game mentally that you have to trick yourself that you don't have another option. To this day, and people laugh when I say this, but I fucking truly believe it. What taught me this was my first 10 years where I had to fucking just grind it the fuck out. I will tell people. You've heard me say this a number of times. I'm like, Bro, I don't have a choice. If this doesn't work, I'll be digging ditches.
I don't have any other skills.
You truly believe that?
Well, yes, I do.
I feel like you do.
I figured it out. I've developed some other skills now. I'm a pretty damn good public speaker. I could fucking figure out something else. But the point is that in my heart and in mind, this shit has to work. Now it has to work because I got all these people relying on me, dude. I got thousands of people fucking on my back every motherfucking day. If I don't fucking win, bro, they lose, too. That is zero options, right? The zero option mentality evolves from you to the responsibilities that you carry, and you have to keep that pressure on yourself to make sure that you don't get too comfortable to fucking flake the fuck out and lose your shit. Yeah, dude, It's a learning curve, and everybody who starts out, they always start out feeling like this guy does. But the reality is, dude, if you got a good plan, I'm assuming he has a good plan. He probably just hasn't had enough time for the cake to bake. And by the way, when I say there's businesses that won't work, most businesses can be made to work with just a few adjustments. But if you come out with a widget that nobody fucking needs or wants, it doesn't matter how much you market it.
It doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.
So check the metrics.
Pay attention. Be aware. Check your time. Right. And make sure that you understand it. Bro, you'll never get there by starting over every single time. I ran that eight miles, but I ran it this way. I'm going to try to run it this way. No, dude. You just keep fucking going. Adjust the way you're running right on the spot and keep moving. Those are the pitfalls of both sides of that equation. And again, it's nuanced. You want to know where the fuck you are. You want to know if it's going to work. Be conscious of the time. Ask yourself, will this work in three more years or will this work in two more years? And be honest. All right. Can you see it working? Do you know how to make it work? Will it work when it's ideal? These are real things that you have to think about. We get on the internet and we look around and everybody's like, Oh, yeah, just fucking... You're going to make your dreams come true selling fucking toothpicks for your ear. No, that shit, that's not something somebody needs. You know what I mean? Yeah. But motherfucker came up with the Q-tip for the ear, and then that worked.
Okay, what's the difference between a Q-tip and a fucking toothpick? Codon. Not very much. That's right. All right? I know you're trying to make a joke there. But the point is that that's a slight evolution that makes a massive difference. You see what I mean?
Absolutely, dude. I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, that was three.
Yeah. Tell them to wait until Monday, bro. All right, guys, don't forget, we got CTI Live tonight at 7: 00 Central. Join us. We're going to talk about all the wonderful, amazing things that are going on right now in the world, and then we're going to make fun of them. It's going to be fun.
Yeah.
All right. Come see us, 7: 00 PM. Don't be a ho. Share the show. We're from sleepin' on the flow, now my jury box froze. Fuck a bowl, fuck a store, counted millions in a cold, bad bitch, boot it slow, got her on bankroll, can't fold, just a no, headshot, case closed., and then we're going to make fun of them. It's going to be fun. Yeah. All right. Come see us, 7: 00 PM. Don't be a ho. Show the show.
On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to break the cycle of on-and-off discipline, how to balance gratitude with the drive to improve, and how to manage the feeling of being behind even when you're doing the work.