Transcript of 982. Q&AF: Feeling Behind, Regaining Control In Chaos & Outgrowing Your Inner Circle

REAL AF with Andy Frisella
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00:00:16

What is up, guys? It's Andy for Selling. This is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking Reality. Guys, today we have Q&A. That's where you submit the questions, and we give you the answers. Now, you could submit your questions a few different ways. Dj, how can they do that? Yeah, guys.

00:00:35

You can email these questions in to askandy@andyforsella. Com. You can also submit your questions through the link in the description below or drop them in the comment section of the Q&A AF episodes on the new Andy for Sella Motivation YouTube channel.

00:00:50

Yeah. I think we'll just skip the 75 hard, all right? Because everybody's going to be starting it this week. Yeah, they are. All right. There's a massive group A massive group of people starting 75 Hard this week. So I'll give you the resources. We'll just cut to the chase. We do shows within the show. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, you get the entire program outlined for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. Clearly, I need it. All right. Again, it's free. Episode 208 on the audio feed. There is a book available. The book is called The Book on Mental Toughness. You can get it, andyfusela. Com. I'd highly recommend it. You don't need it. But main thing I wanted to let you know is that there is a massive group starting on the first, not the second, not the fourth, not the seventh. We're going to start this year. We're going to start it right. I'm doing it with you. We're going to get after it. All right?

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With that being said, we do have a fee for the show. The fee is very simple. Don't be a hoe.

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Share the show.

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All right. What's happening?

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What's going on? Beautiful Monday morning.

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Yeah. Are you lying again? Yeah.

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It's Sunday.

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Yeah, it is Sunday.

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Sunday, fun day, though. Yeah. No, it's good, man. How's it going?

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Good. Just got done training.

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There you did.

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Yeah. Looking all handsome. Yeah, you do. That's right. What's going on with you?

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Nothing much, man. I had to steal one of your vans.

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You did? Mm-hmm. You stick the bike, too?

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No, the bikes are there.

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So we moved from bikes to vans.

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Yeah, that's right. What van? I have a van. The gray one, yeah. What? The gray Sprinter van.

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Yeah, you got two of them. The gray. Back there. Oh, the weed van. Oh, the weed, yeah.

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Dude, I did feel like-That's the weed transport van. It used to be, I think.

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Yeah, I think we upgraded.

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I think we upgraded. Yeah, but no, dude, I did feel like I was doing some nefarious shit with it, though. You know what I'm saying?

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What'd you use it for? Trash.

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Just trash, yeah. I got big bags of trash.

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So you just trashed out the inside of our van, huh?

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No, I Listen, clean and swept. I know the standard. Oh, yeah? Yeah, we got the standard, too.

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How's the house coming along?

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It's actually... We're about 92% done. 92? 92% done.

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There's still some town. So that means that 8% will not be ever done. Probably.

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My little contract. Shout out to my contract. Awesome, dude. I've had a lot of really awesome people help me out with this. But he told me, we were going through it. He was like, Man, listen, if you don't do this right now, you're never fucking doing it again. Don't lie to yourself. Either you're going to do it right now or you're not fucking doing it. I'm like, All right, we'll fucking do it. But it's going good, though, man. It's going good. House looks great.

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What did you learn?

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Never do this shit again. That's what I learned. That's right.

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See? Bro, listen, I'm done. I know. Everybody's like, Oh, dude, why don't you build something or do this? I'm never building the motherfucking thing again in my entire life. That garage wore me out. I got PTSD, bro. Bro. Never happening.

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I'm moving into somebody- That was like a It was a three-year project, wasn't it?

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Yeah. And three times as much as it was supposed to be.

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Three times as long as it was supposed to be. Well, dude, the problem in my house, dude, my house was built in 1970. And so every time I fucking pilled something back.

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Found a body.

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Thousands of dollars It's right there. Just dumping it.

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Coming out of the walls.

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Bro. Like,. I wish. No, I'm putting this shit into the walls. That's the problem, man. It's a learning experience, though. It's been good.

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It's been good. Yeah.

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But yeah, never again. I'm glad it wasn't me. I'll die in that house.

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No, you won't. I'm done, bro. The whole thing is you just got to move into other people's masterpieces.

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Yeah, that's right.

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Let them deal with the stress.

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That's right, yeah. Well, I mean, whoever buys my house next, they're going to be pretty happy.

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Yeah, I'm never doing Fucking never. Never. Never happening again.

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Oh, man. Yeah.

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But yeah, beautiful day. Bro, when shit starts to get built now, I just fucking leave.

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I just look at it. I just look at it. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's good, though, man. Beautiful day. Got a 70 degrees outside.

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Yeah, 29 tomorrow.

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Dude.

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What?

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Fuck this place, man.

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I'm with you, bro. Look, I'm so sick of this. I'm so sick of this. 70 today, 29 tomorrow. That's insane.

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I don't even understand how that works. I don't understand. But that's a great day.

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That's our punishment for being domestic terror. I was about to say, What do we do? It's our punishment for speaking against Israel. Just like they say.

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Oh, man.

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All right.

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Well, yeah, dude, let's make some people better today. Let's do it. It's a beautiful Monday.

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Enough messing around. Let's get down to business. Oh, yeah, we do have a live show tonight. We have a live show. Thank you, Minat. 7: 00 PM Central, CTI Live. A lot of current events. That's right.

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There's a lot of events that are current.

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Bro, with us having off last week, man, a lot of shit happened. Maybe that was a bad call.

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Yeah, no more breaks, guys. Suck you guys. Shit. Yeah, no, there is a lot, man. But yeah, check us out tonight, guys. 7: 00 PM Central on the tube and Twitter. But yeah, let's make some people better. I got three good ones for you.

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All right. I know you do.

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Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, I'm 27. I see people my age already married, buying houses, or starting businesses, and I feel like I missed some memo. I'm not lazy. I show up to work, but I don't feel like I'm building anything. How do you figure out what direction to move when you don't even know what you want? I feel like I'm just behind this ball.

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Neat hope. Well, I mean, I'll tell you this. If you think showing up for work is doing fucking something special, then you're definitely behind the ball. Okay, so let's get real about that. You're supposed to show up for work. You're supposed to show up on time. You're supposed to do a good job. These are the things of a functioning adult.

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That's the bare minimum.

00:07:15

Yeah. Yeah, you are behind, bro. Real talk. Now, I'm not saying you're behind because you're not making any money, because I'll tell you what, when I was 27 years old, I moved back in with my dad because I was so broke. All right? So that's not what I'm talking about. But what What I am talking about is that your standard is fucking bullshit. And I can tell by the way that you wrote the question, Oh, I show up to work. What the fuck are you talking about, bro? What can you expect if that's your standard? I'm doing it. Yeah. You're not really doing it. You think showing up is a win. All right? So you got to understand, winning isn't for everybody. Kicking ass is not for everybody. Building a great life is not for everybody. And it sure as fuck isn't for the people that just, quote, show up for work. All right? So if you actually want something and you actually want to be better, you're going to have to understand those standards have to raise. Now, you may not know what you want to do, but have you actually thought about it?

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Have you actually sat down and planned it out? Have you actually sat down and said, Hey, this would be cool for me to do? Have you sat down and said, If I could do anything, this is what I would do because I would be happy in it or provide enough income for myself and the way I want to live. Have you thought about those things? Because those are the things that people don't think about, and then they act surprised when nothing materializes, and they end up in their 40s, and they're like, What happened? Okay, well, here's what happened. Time went by, and time is going by right now, and you're still at a massive advantage because you're 27 years old. But if you keep fucking around and thinking that your standard is, I'm going to show up for work and things are just going to happen, it's not going to happen. It's never going to happen. So you have to come to that understanding and understand that, yeah, you may think that's not fair. You may think that that's... And by the way, it is fucking fair. It's totally fair. All right? We got all these people crying about how unfair shit is.

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Well, the motherfuckers that you look up to who have built things that you want to be like, and those people did a lot of shit you didn't do. And they got the fair return on that investment. You're getting the return on your investment. So this whole idea of what's fair and what's not fair is fucking ridiculous. For the last 27 years, bro, I haven't done anything but build my shit. What have you done, sir, for 27 years? I bet you drank water, you You took shit, you ate food, and you slept. And those are probably the only things that you could say you've done for 27 years straight. I've done this for 27 years. That's why my life looks the way that it does. And that's why people who haven't done that, their life the way that it does. And I'm not saying that everybody wants to do what I do, but whatever level of success or whatever level of success that you're after, you're going to have to realize that it's going to take a lot more than just existing and breathing. Okay? So this whole idea, and unfortunately, dude, you grew up in a time where people were told that everything was supposed to be equal and everything was supposed...

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You were special for being born, and you get a trophy for showing the fuck up. No, If you don't, that's all bullshit. That's all lies. That's all been propaganda to train an entire generation and not do anything so that they can be miserable, angry, mad at the rich people so they're easy to control and get them to buy into communism. All right? I commend you for not thinking that way, but you're going to have to adjust your thinking in terms of what it is that you're willing to do to get what you want. Because I'm going to tell you right now, dude, a passive attitude or even an average attitude isn't going to get it. It's going to have to be hard. It's going to be the hardest thing you ever fucking did. You're going to have to force it into reality. I think that's one of the biggest misconceptions that people have about success is that they think that If you just show the fuck up and you try a little bit, that things will materialize. Bro, we're talking about the national championship here. We're talking about the Super Bowl here. We're talking about the most ruthless competition that you could ever compete in, which is business and life.

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It takes that level of commitment and that level of effort to get to that point. If you're not willing to give it, you can't be mad about where you're at. Now, I'm saying all this because you're 27 years old and you still have a chance to fix it. But when you're in your 50s, and there's lots of people that figure out this when they're in their 50s, you're fucked, okay? Because you don't have the relationships built. You don't have the connections built, you don't have the ability to earn the way that you were when you're younger.

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Oh, but 80, Colonel Sanders.

00:12:08

Yeah, that's true. That's an anomaly. All right? There's lots of people... Here's the good thing. The way the technology is now, there's lots of opportunity for older people to change things very quickly. But it's still more difficult for them than it is for people who are 27 or 20 or 25. And this whole idea of fucking off your 20s until you figure out what you want to do, dude, you just wasted a valuable decade to put into your foundation of what you're going to have for your whole life. So this whole idea of these people saying, Oh, your 20s are for fun, and this and that, and this and that. You know? Yeah, okay. But there's a price that you're trading for that, and people don't realize that. That's 10 years where someone else who's the same age as you, who's the same ability as you, that dedicated that 10 years is going to 10 years ahead. Man, they might even be dumber than you. They might have less skills than you. They're still going to be 10 years ahead. So this whole idea of young people taking it easy and just going with the flow, it's a bad idea for people that want to achieve things.

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It just is. Not only is it a bad idea because of the time you waste, it's a bad idea because of the habits you build. You build this habit of leisurely existence, and that becomes very hard to change as you Now, can you change it? For sure. I would highly recommend the Live Hard program because that helps keep these things in check. But ultimately, dude, you've got to sit down, you've got to think about where you want to be, you've got to say, Hey, this is what I would like my life to look like. This is my ideal job. You can't think, Oh, well, I could never do that. You've just got to start building it. The one thing that I think young people lack perspective on is that these people that you look up to and they have this life that you want, those people are not any different than you do. They just execute different. They do things. They understand about setting a goal out here in the future and then backtracking it into daily actions that you execute against to get to that point. It's no different than going from here to Los Angeles, bro.

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Yeah, that's a long walk. But if you never start walking, you're never going to get there. If you do start walking, you will get there. That's reality. Most people spend more time planning vacations or weekends or their trips or this or that, than they spend deciding what it is they want for their whole lives. Then they get upset that they don't get it. It's not confusing me, so I don't understand why it's confusing everybody else. But my advice to you would be to take fucking day, sit down, outline what it is you want to do, ideally, not like what you think you can do based upon your skill set now because you could develop all the skills to do these things. Make a plan, say, This is what I want. This is the money I want to earn. This is what I want to do. And then I would start working towards that plan. That's what the Operator Standard does. The operator standard does this literally for you, plus a whole bunch of other shit. But it's not open right now, so you can't get in. But that's the gist, man. And it's very, very simple.

00:15:24

But people just don't take the time to do it.

00:15:26

Dude, the idea of just showing up, when you were talking about it, it made What do you think of, imagine had Tom braided just showed up to the Super Bowl. He would have gotten his ass beat.

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Bro, I don't know what that is.

00:15:40

I'm here.

00:15:41

I know. I'm Tom braided. I'm here. One of the biggest pet peeves for me is when people say things like, I do what I'm supposed to do. I show up. I work hard. Bro, that's the fucking minimum. That is the minimum. That's the minimum. Working hard is the minimum. You also You also have to develop skills. You also have to develop grit and perseverance to execute when you don't feel like it, because guess what? Most of the time, you're not going to feel like it. So there's all kinds of things that come into play here, but I can tell you this, it certainly isn't easy, and you're certainly not going to get where you want to go thinking that you're winning every day by showing up and working hard. That's not enough. It's just not. There's no trophies for that. Yeah. The price you're going to pay for not doing it is going to be much worse than the discomfort that you're going to pay now by doing it. Because you don't I don't want to be the guy who's 47 years old having to get a second job at fucking taco Bell because you didn't take your life serious.

00:16:38

All right? Unfortunately, a lot of people end up that way, and you don't want to do that. Soi love it, dude. Don't.

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I love it.

00:16:47

I just think it's like... I say this a lot, but there's a drastic misunderstanding that happens with people of what they think success takes and what it actually takes. And with most people, it's a fucking 10,000 miles away. You know what I'm saying? I don't know who told them this, but they believe, they literally believe that if they go to work, do what they're told, and execute their job, that someone's going to come to them and say, Hey, here's this new thing. Here's this new paycheck. Here's this new opportunity. When in reality, dude, nobody opens the door to opportunities. They don't open. You have to kick them the fuck down. You have to take the opportunities. They're not given. They're not granted. They're not, Hey, welcome to the club. The door actually slams in your fucking face over and over and over again, and it comes down to your willingness to kick the motherfucker down that determines how far you're going to go. So it has to be by force. And anybody who tells you different doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about. And I bet you anybody that tells you different, they say, Oh, you could just manifest these doors open.

00:17:57

I guarantee you, they are either broke or they make all their money spewing that bullshit. They haven't actually built things. You guys got to get your minds right, bro, on what it takes and accept the price upfront. When people complain about the process and how hard it is. Most of the pain that comes from it is that you're constantly arguing with yourself if the price is worth it. Yeah, you're trying to negotiate. Yes. You're like, Oh, dude, is it done yet? Am I there yet? How's it going? Can I stop working yet? And you got to reframe that to like, Hey, motherfucker, I'm never going to fucking stop. Nothing's ever going to stop me. You could build a fucking bank vault in front of me. I'm going to kick that fucker in, and I'm going to make it happen. And that's the attitude you got to have. It's got to be the complete opposite of, Man, am I there yet? To, I don't care what the fuck it takes. And real talk, I don't care what it takes. I do not fucking care. I don't care who stands in front of me. I don't care who slams the door because I know that that door is coming open, even if they don't know it yet.

00:19:02

And that's the attitude you have to have. If you don't have that attitude, you're not going to get very far. Oh, man.

00:19:07

I love it, dude. I love it. Let's go. Guys, Andy, question number two. Andy, my service-based business is finally making some money. There you go. But cash flow is a mess. Okay. I'm constantly moving money around, paying things late, stressing about payroll. From the outside, it looks successful. But how do you actually regain control once things are already chaotic?

00:19:32

Well, you got to sit down and fucking break it down. And by the way, let me start with this. Almost all businesses run that way, at least for a period of time. There's no business that you just turn on and it's just flush with cash and you can just do everything you want. Part of growing a business is the dance that you have to do with cash flow to allocate it where it needs to be to the That's the most important part that affects you now. Paying late sometimes or being stressed or having to move money around, that's just called entrepreneurship, dude. Welcome to the club. Yeah. You don't want to make habits of those things. But let's be real, dude, every business that starts off starts in this same position. The reason I say all this is because I don't want you to feel like it's just you. That's every business, okay? Dude, secondly, the best thing that you could do is to get a really good bookkeeper, someone that is very familiar with cash flow and how to allocate it, where it needs to go. You don't got to get a CPA yet or a CFO, but a very strong bookkeeper that can help you manage the cash coming in.

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That is an investment that will pay for itself exponentially that you can make now, even when cash is tight because it's not that expensive, that will make a huge difference. Another thing you can do is you could just teach yourself how to do it. We didn't have complicated accounting or bookkeeping for a very long time, and Chris and I just did it on Excel. There's no right or It's a long way to do it. But now we live in this age where there's all this great software, there's all these great technologies, there's very smart people, and you have to lean into that because these are skills that you don't have yet.

00:21:27

Yeah. On this part about being chaotic, in entrepreneurship, in the business, when things are, quote, unquote, shit hitting the fan, right? How do you manage what fires? Is it simply off of what's the biggest fire? Or like, Hey, this fire, if I don't address this small one now, it's going to get... It's both. How do you do that?

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Listen, chaos is entrepreneurship. It's not when does it get chaotic? It's chaotic by nature, okay? It's a shit show all the time. There's no real entrepreneur. I don't care if they're selling Seychelles or Jeff Bezos, where their shit isn't chaotic. It's a chaotic choice of profession by nature. It takes someone who is either very good at handling chaos or someone who can acclimate to handling chaos to do it. The first few years you do it, it's going to stress you the fuck out. But just like anything, we talk about performance acclamation. Once you start to live in that, it becomes just normal. You don't get flicked out or stressed out. I know that's hard to imagine now, but you start to get to a point where you're like, Okay, this is just the way it is. When you address these fires to your question, you have to be good at trying to figure out where the priorities are in the heat of the moment. It's no different than You're in a battle, and you're running a platoon. We have this plan, and the plan is we're going to sneak up the mountain and we're going to do this shit.

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But we get halfway up the mountain and we find out they already thought of that, and they're kicking our ass. Well, then we got to make a fucking move, and we got to pull everybody back. We got to go around the other side. It's like conducting an orchestra. There's always a section that's not right, and you have to be able to identify identify that, address those things big and small. At first, when you start off, you're going to only see the big fires.

00:23:38

I feel like that's where people would want to focus on.

00:23:40

You're only going to see it because you don't have the perspective to know that the small fires turn into the big ones. So when you first start, you're going to see the big fires pop up, and you're going to be like, Holy shit. I got to address that. But what happens is, as you gain the skill set of just of running a company, you start to identify the little fires when they're first starting. And that just comes with experience. You get to a point where little remarks that happen from your employees, you already know where that can go. Like an employee says something that doesn't sound right, and you're like, Okay, well, last time I heard this, this turned into a big fucking ordeal. Let me go address this now. Correct. So you You start to identify these things quicker and more accurately as you go. That's a normal process. There's nothing that can teach you that. You just have to go. That's, I think, a big thing about entrepreneurship that people don't understand is there is no set rule book. Yes, there's common practices that are good ideas. Don't spend more money than you fucking have.

00:24:58

But Outside of these generally accepted practices, it's like anything, dude. Anybody listening that's ever had a job, did you learn your job before you started or did you learn it after? Did you learn You went through training and all these things. Did you learn more actually on the job or did you learn more in training? Every fucking person in the world, every job in the world, doesn't matter if you're a fucking doctor, doesn't matter how specialized your profession is, you You really can't learn it until you're doing it. And this is the same with entrepreneurship. People think that they can get certified or have a great mentor, and they're going to gather all this knowledge. But dude, information doesn't equal results. Execution equals results. So you can sit there and be the smartest theoretical, information-filled entrepreneur. But if you never go, it doesn't matter, and it doesn't create anything. And we see a lot of this online, right? How many of these people are giving entrepreneurship advice when their whole business is giving advice? They've never actually proven themselves to build anything. All right? So a lot of things sound good, but the reality is you're never going to develop the skills until you go.

00:26:14

And that's something that people greatly misunderstand.

00:26:17

I want to ask you this, too, on the fires, right? We're on this topic. Do you notice, too, that some of the fires that you thought were these massive fucking wildfires happening 20 years ago.

00:26:31

Or nothing now. They're nothing now. Yeah, for sure.

00:26:35

What change is that?

00:26:37

That's just acclamation, dude. And by the way, increased skillset. When you've seen something happen three or four times over your career, you start to recognize not just how to prevent it, but also how to solve it immediately. So this big fire, the first time it happens, usually people's big fire in entrepreneurship comes from own taxes. Almost everybody goes through a thing where they get this letter in the mail, and it's this absurd amount, and they're like, Fuck. It sucks. But what happens? You address it the first time, Then maybe it happens a little bit again. Then you start to understand how to keep that from happening.

00:27:21

You realize it's not that big of a problem.

00:27:23

Well, yes, you gain the confidence in your own skill set and ability to solve the problem. When you know how to solve the problem, the anxiety doesn't exist anymore. The problems that really cause you stress as a seasoned entrepreneur are the ones that you just don't know the answer to. When we have a problem in any of the companies, and it's something that's happened before, it's very easy to walk in and talk to Sal or Jason or Chris and say, Hey, we fucking saw this. We got to do this. And they already know, right? And by the way, as your company matures and you get better leaders, the leaders will know that ahead of time, and you will stop seeing those things, which can be good and bad sometimes, depending on who you have. But at the end of the day, man, as your skills grow, as you become more seasoned, these things that pop up and happen to you become no different than your shoe got untied. You know how to tie your shoe? Yeah. It's not a fucking big deal. You're out doing something, your shoe gets untied, you're like, Fuck, all right, I'll tie It's that.

00:28:32

But it's hard to understand that when you're at the beginning. You don't have that perspective. Yeah, it's very hard.

00:28:39

I was about to ask you, is it funny, too? I guess when you started having employees and started putting the managers, and they come to you with fucking problems that you've already seen before and handled. I imagine that be a little fun. Like, dude, you're freaking out for nothing.

00:28:51

No, that's not what you do. No? No, not at all. You let them freak out. Okay? And then you say, Well, how do you think we should solve it? And they'll say either the right way or they'll say the wrong way. If they say the right way, you say, I think that's a good idea. Go try that. You don't say, Hey, I fucking know that's the right idea. Yeah, right. Okay? Because then you remove the teaching moment from the situation, a bad leader, a leader that will never be able to scale, will always solve those problems. And then here's what happens. Your leadership's never developed, your leaders never develop into actual leaders because they know that you'll solve the fucking problem no matter what. So you have to be able to look at them and say, All right, what do you think you should do? And by the way, if they say the wrong thing, you would say something like this. I don't know, man. What about this? And you would make a suggestion, and then they'll be like, I don't know. And I'll say, Okay, well, what about this? And you coach them in to find in the right path.

00:29:56

And then you let them go execute, and then they learn, and then they gain confidence, and then they become a better leader. And then next time that problem shows up, they know how to handle it. But poor leaders will just solve the problem, and then your employees will learn that you'll just solve the problem so they'll never develop. This is a big problem. People who run, let's say, a three or four-man operation, and they scale to a 40 or 100, because you can't keep up with that. It's impossible. So you have to learn. It's not about delegating as it is about having a teaching moment so that then they can just handle it on their own. If you delegate shit to people that don't know what the fuck they're doing, they'll fuck your business up.

00:30:39

All right? How about I say, they got to be a hard position for an entrepreneur to be in, right? Because You're supposed to be solving your fucking problems, right? So it's like, that's got to be a hard thing to be like, okay, no. You know what I'm saying? That's got to be difficult.

00:30:52

Well, and there's levels to problems, too, right? Let's say there's a five-alarm fire and you don't have time to fuck around. Then you moveHow the fuck is doing? Exactly. That's right. But then there's an important part to that, too. You bring them with you, all right? Hey, look, we're going to fucking solve this right now. You go solve it, and then after you solve it, you turn around, you say, Okay, what did I do? You did this and this and this. Why did I do that? Because of this and this and this. And you still turn it into a moment where they can learn from your actions. But that's never as good as letting them come up with the answer on their own.

00:31:26

I love it, dude. Yeah. I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, we got one more question. We got a third and final question. Question number three. Andy, I've changed a lot in the last couple of years. My habits, my mindset, priorities. And some people close to me clearly don't like the new version of me. But my question is, how do you know when you're outgrowing people versus you're just becoming an asshole? We talk about this quite a bit, moving up, no man's land, things like that. But how do How do you know you're really moving up? And how do you know you're not just being a fucking asshole? Is there a test for this? How do you do this?

00:32:06

Listen, not everybody wants what the fuck you want. And when people are around you, and they've been around you your whole life, they believe, and you have to think about this, okay? Nobody's ever been anybody but themselves. And most people look at themselves and believe that their way of doing things is the right way of doing things. Because they're alive, they're able to have some beers, they're able to go to dinner once in a while, they drive a decent car, they have a decent house. These people believe that their way is the right way. And so a lot of this comes from them seeing you go off of that and them thinking, Oh, man, he's going to fucking end up broke. Because the idea of, and by the way, you might a few times. That's another thing that comes with entrepreneurship. You're going to fucking fall, and you're going to be embarrassed, and you're going to need money, and things are going to happen. And that's the game. That's what happens. It's your ability to push through those things that actually seasons you and skills you to the point that you need to be. But the reality is, dude, is you have to understand, man.

00:33:23

Unless you want exactly what the fuck they have, you shouldn't be listening to them. And you should be able to hear what they're saying and not let it affect you. And that goes on for a long time. Until you get to a point where your results are completely fucking undeniable that you know what the fuck you're doing, and it was a great thing, people are going to question it, and they're going to doubt it. And even now, in my position, I still get people that they don't doubt my ability. Dude, it's funny because it moves from, Oh, don't do that, or remember where you came from, or that's for other people, or be careful, or don't... You need to be a little more... It goes from that shit to when you're winning, then it goes, Well, I bet he's not happy. You know what? I bet he's You need to take some time to smell the roses. Because now I'm not being judged on the fact of whether or not I could build what I wanted to build. Now I'm being judged on, Is it worth it? What it took. By the way, it may not be worth it to them because there is an extreme that you have to pay to build things like we talked about in the first question.

00:34:34

That's not for everyone. But if you spend your whole life trying to appease people who are not on the same path as you, it's only a matter of time before you get pulled into that thinking again. It's like a fucking tractor beam that you see in the space movies, right? It captures you. And this is the importance of you being able to mentally disconnect from people's advice that aren't on the same path as you. If you emotionally You only get disturbed every time your old friends or your parents or whoever it might be says something to you, if that bothers you, you have to change that, dude, because that's never going to change. That's something that comes along with straying off the path. That's what they see it as. They see it as you're straying off the path. You see it as, I'm going to be great. All right? We're not seeing the same thing here because they've never seen it. Remember this, dude. Most people don't know anybody that's built something. Most people don't know somebody who drives a fucking Ferrari or has become financially successful or built a major company. They see it on Instagram, but they don't know someone.

00:35:46

If they don't see it, they don't believe it. Okay? This is why we talk about personal excellence being the ultimate rebellion, because most people have never seen it. So who's What responsibility is it to show them that it's... Well, that's yours. And that's where our obligation to be personally excellent comes from, because when we're excellent, other people see it and they're like, Fuck, if DJ did it, I can do it. And that creates a ripple effect through society that we're lacking right now about people's belief in their own abilities to be great. And if we have great individuals, we have a great culture. If we have a great culture, we have a great country because culture dominates everything. Everything in the country is downstream from culture. Culture is dictated by the individual's behavior at collective. So this is the whole reason we started Operator Standard. It's why I built this tech. It's going to be the greatest consumer product of fucking all time. And It's going to fix what's going on in society at scale. But the reality is that we have to first accept that it is our responsibility to show people, and they're not going to believe it first.

00:36:56

Like, dude, I can't tell. Look, man, nobody Nobody fucking believed in me. No, fucking nobody. Fucking nobody. Were there people that said, Hey, man, I'm proud of you for continuing to work? Yeah. Were there people that said, Hey, it's cool what you're doing? Yeah. But the minute that you walk away, those People are like, Fuck, dude. I don't know if he's going to fucking make it. So the belief is never there. It's never fucking there. That's why you have to build yourself into someone that you trust, that you believe in, that has the skills, that has the discipline. Because like we talk about all the time, dude, if you have a place that you're going and you have a plan to get there, the only element that you need past that is the ability to execute. The ability to execute comes from building discipline and mental toughness. If you could become mentally tough, if you could develop grit, fortitude, perseverance, discipline, self-confidence, self-belief, and you build the ability to adhere to a plan, then success becomes a very simple thing. It's just execute on the plan. But where most people fail is, they don't know the outcome.

00:38:08

They don't know what it's going to take on a daily basis to get there, and they sure as fuck don't have the ability to follow the plan. So they don't have any of the three elements. But the three elements are very simple. Where the fuck are you going? What do you got to do today to get there? And do you execute when you don't fucking feel like it? Because you're not going to feel like it most of the time. So if you combine those three things where you have the ability to execute, You have the plan, you have the outcome. It's just as simple as executing. And this is why we say, you cannot fucking beat someone that will be able to execute on good days and bad days, no matter what the fuck is going on. That person cannot be beat. They cannot be beat by anything or anyone. Because it doesn't matter if the whole world is coming down on their motherfucking head, bro. It doesn't matter if they're having a nervous breakdown. It doesn't matter if things are shitty. It doesn't fucking matter. None of the other shit matters. They're still going to get their I'm shit done.

00:39:00

Like, dude, and that's something you develop. I didn't really start developing that until I was 36 years old. Wow. Okay? So you can get to a certain level. You're pretty far. Yeah, you can get to Bro, when I figured it out, we had a hundred plus million dollar company. But you could get pretty far, half-ass in it. But if you want to get there fast, had I known that on day one of my I would have got where I'm at now in 10 years. I would have went... Instead of 25 years, it would have been 10. All right? But it's simple. It's just a fucking... It's simple, bro. It's simple, it's simple, it's simple. Is it easy? No, it's very difficult, but it's simple as fuck. This idea that we're propagated into, that there's this magic or this club or there's this fraternity or the fucking Illuminati or whatever, right? That allows you to come in and then dictates. That's not how the fuck it works, bro. How it works is this. You execute, you produce results. People above you start to respect that, and they start to say, Hey, that motherfucker is a go-getter.

00:40:20

He's a killer, dude. I want to know that guy. Because as you get older, you start to realize, I got to play ball with the young guys. I want to bring the young guys in. I want to be a surrounded with the young winners. And that's a great thing for someone who's young that produces results. But at the end of the day, bro, there's no secret, there's no club, there's no mystical fucking success fairy that comes down and says, Oh, DJ, I grant you the power to be successful. That's not how the fuck it works. And I thought that's how it worked for a long time. For a long time, I was wondering when I was going to get the break or when I was going to get the call or when I was going to feel like I made it. And you know what? None of that ever happened. I still don't feel like I made it. And anybody around me knows that. That's not bullshit. That sounds like... I know for a lot of you guys, you probably think, Oh, well, he's just saying that. No, dude, not really. I'm deathly afraid of having to go dig ditches.

00:41:21

And while that might not be true, that that's where I would end up, in my mind, that's what I think. And that's a good thing. I don't want to lose that. You know what I mean? Because I don't ever take it for granted, dude. And I don't think anybody here does. I know they don't. No.

00:41:36

Dude, I was thinking about this, too. It's like you talk about this proverbial path that most people are on where it's safe, it's comfortable. There's consistency to it, right? And you step off of that path to go build something, do something crazy. It made me think, how many people, the moment they stepped off that path and they started getting the pushback or the doubts, whatever, and they were like, okay, I'm That's what I'm going to come back to where it is.

00:42:01

That happens. That dude, bro. Fuck, man. Bro, listen. There are more amazing businesses, more cures for disease, more culture-shifting ideas The idea is there's more greatness in the motherfucking graveyard than there is in the entire world because of what you just said. People are afraid to step out and let their internal who they were supposed to be shine because some losers say a couple of things to them. That's not doing anything. Bro, and you have to understand. They're them and you're you. You're a fucking lion, they are a fucking mouse. It's two different things. You know what I mean? They're a fucking race. You're a race car. They're a fucking bicycle. It's two different things. You can't operate the same. And if you try to, and you try to appease that, you're going to end up riding a motherfucking bike just like them. Okay? So we have to understand, all this shit that we read online, All this feel good, victimhood mentality, feel good about doing nothing, take a break, this, that, the other. You've been on a break your whole life. That's why your life looks like shit. Okay, let's be fucking honest. All right, you know and I know, and everybody else fucking knows, too.

00:43:35

It's inputs and outputs. And if you don't have the fucking results, you haven't done the fucking work. Okay, that's the reality. And people will bitch, and they will cry, and they'll complain and they'll say, Well, I've worked hard for 20 years. Well, yeah, okay, maybe you did. Maybe for the last 20 years, you did roofs and you work your fucking ass off. There's not much harder than doing a roof. But in 20 years, you're still doing roofs. Why is that? Well, you didn't learn any new skills. You know what's fucked up? You have the hardest part licked, the ability to fucking work hard. All you have to do is take your time off and invest in other skill sets and start to leverage those skill sets and continue to grow. And then at some point make a jump from that to this, and then use the skill set of the discipline and the work ethic that you have. I mean, bro, who works harder than guys on a roof? It's fucking hard. It's hard shit. You get up You're fucking 3: 30 in the morning, and you work till 3: 00 in the afternoon, and it's fucking hard as shit.

00:44:35

Those dudes are tough. They're hard workers. But very rarely do they make a jump to anything else, not understanding that that work ethic would fucking pay in exponential spades, applying it with skill. So it's not just work hard. It's work hard and get skilled, and then apply the two together. It's It's so simple that I feel stupid talking about it. I'm being real, dude. But then I got to remember, there's a lot of people that don't know that yet. You know what I mean? I know it. I know it like you know gravity. That's how sure I am of what I'm telling you. No different than you stepping off the building on the top of the roof and hitting the fucking ground. I know with that level of confidence, the one I'm telling you is how it works. That's how it works. I've seen this too many times. I've seen hundreds of thousands of people at this point in my career do it. And there's no difference between you and them. The only difference is they made a decision that they are going to go here. They made the plan of where they're going to go, and they developed the ability to execute no matter what.

00:45:52

And if they do those three things, dude, you cannot fucking lose. Dude, it's literally impossible. It's impossible to lose. It's impossible to lose if you do those three things. Because who the fuck is going to stop you? There's no magic success monster either that jumps out and says, No! You're done, kid. You shall not pass. That's not how it works, dude. Sometimes little things do feel like that. I feel like that, yeah, that's right. Yeah, but they're not. As long as you keep your head down and keep moving, you can't be stopped. You know how many times I've had bad things happen to me in public where the whole city or the whole country knows about it? Dude, I just plug my fucking ears and I show up the next day and I keep executing. And eventually, the noise goes away and I keep moving forward. And it's funny because every time it happens, I see all the fucking little weasels come out and fucking pile on, right? And say, Oh, for cell is done this time. Got you, bitch. I'm never going to be done because I wake up every motherfucking day and execute.

00:46:56

So it doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't matter what the world says. It doesn't matter what the Internet says. What matters is what the fuck I do. And I do that every single day. And I've done that every single day for a long enough time to where I understand that when bad things happen, all I got to do is keep moving. And to your point, that's a skill. So when you first start out and you first start hearing these little chirps and these little things, yeah, dude, it hurts. But I'm going to tell you how you do it. You're blessed to have it, because here's the thing. To this day, I still remember all of those remarks. I remember who fucking said them. I remember where I was when they said them. And there's a whole lot of people that conveniently don't remember they said those things. Oh, yeah. That's magical. Because you know me, just like last night at dinner, what will I do? I'll fucking call it out right there. Dude, I'll say, Hey, remember that time you told me this? And they'll be, I didn't say that. And I do it just to make it awkward because I like that.

00:47:54

I like making it fucking awkward. All right? But they never I remember, and it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I didn't give you a reason to believe in me. I hadn't proven myself. Back then, I looked like a fucking idiot out there trying to do shit. I don't look like an idiot anymore. Well, some of you guys might disagree, but the point is that eventually those voices quiet, you prove yourself, and then it becomes something else. It becomes you're too focused on this or are you really happy or this or that or this? It's just always bullshit. If you can't put your earplugs in and separate the bullshit from everything else, you can't make it, dude. You know what I'm saying? You got to have selective hearing. Then there's the other part of that, too. A lot of people will say, well, because I'm not saying this, fuck whatever they say. Well, dude, if you have the attitude of fuck everybody else, which serves you in a lot of ways, right? All those comments that I heard When I don't want to do shit, I remember those things to this day, bro. If I don't want to get out of bed, I'll fucking cycle through all the shit people told me, and I'll be like, Fuck them, and I'll get the fuck up.

00:49:10

That's valuable. But here's where it becomes toxic. When you have an attitude of Fuck everything everybody says, you miss out on a lot of good points that you could improve because usually inside of criticism, there's always a shred of truth. A very smart person will pick out the truth and fix that ahead of time. Make that adjustment. Yeah, they'll do it proactively. That leads into something else. A lot of people don't value information properly. They'll read a whole book and they'll say, Why I wasted six hours reading that book? Because you didn't get anything out of that book, bro. You didn't get one sentence. If you read a book, it took you six, seven hours to read, and you got one paragraph that fucking made something click, that means it was worth your time. If you are, let's just say, Operator Standard or Arte or something like that, where it costs money, let's just say operator standard, it's 50 bucks a month. I could promise you 1,000% that there's going to be a paragraph, or there's going to be a conversation, or there's going to be a lesson that is going to make you exponentially more money than you will ever spend in that by doing that.

00:50:33

You have to learn how to value information properly, and winners value it properly. They understand that if I sit down and I invest 10 hours of my time learning something, and I only get one paragraph, then it was worth that, because that will make me X amount of dollars on the back side. You see what I'm saying? Okay, for example, this little conversation that we just had about putting out fires before they start. That little piece of information. Listen, that little piece of information will make you... If you're smart and you're executing, it's going to make you millions of dollars over the course of your life, period. Okay? And you got it for fucking free. But if you don't value it and you don't understand that, you misjudge the value of information. You're just not a very intelligent person.

00:51:23

That's most people, though, right? They don't think most stuff applies to them.

00:51:27

Yeah, but something does. Something does. You know what I'm saying?

00:51:32

Yeah, man.

00:51:32

So a big difference between winners and losers is their ability to value information properly and to be able to filter through the bullshit to figure out what the thing is that could be some truth. For example, People will say, Oh, man, everybody's a hater. Not everybody's a fucking hater, bro. Now, some people will deliver messages, and some people are haters. But sometimes those haters, there's a piece in there that you can look at and move the emotion out and say, You know You know what? They're right about that. When I was fat, when I was 350 fucking pounds, every time I post on the internet, someone will be like, Oh, you're a fat fuck. And I'd be like, Fuck. Fuck you, man. You're just a hater. Yeah, you're just a fucking hater. And then one day I woke up and I'm like, Fuck, I am a fat fuck. You see what I'm saying? And then I fixed it. And by the way, fixing that has made me literally hundreds of millions of dollars. Okay? From fucking people that most people say, Oh, he's a fucking hater. Fuck that person. Yeah. Bro, real talk. Haters are very valuable because they give you...

00:52:40

They don't care about your fucking feelings. All right? So they give the most honest feedback. If it's true, you also have to have the ability to say, Well, that's not true. But if it is true, that's some valuable shit.

00:52:54

Isn't that funny? It switches now, though. Now that you're ripped and in shape, now, you just do steroids and shit.

00:53:00

Oh, yeah. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, baby.

00:53:02

It doesn't matter what it is or how long you're doing it, you're going to get something.

00:53:07

Yeah, it is. Yeah.

00:53:07

Yeah, fuck, man. Well, dude, I love it, man. That guy's Andy.

00:53:13

At the very least, bro, you got to be Haters provide lots of value, okay? They'll tell you things that you can fix in a very honest way, all right? But then the other thing is if they are just hating, that shit that you could in your fucking dark energy bank and draw upon it. If you don't have a chip on your shoulder about the things people say about you, and you can't draw that dark energy and say, Fuck them, I'm going to fucking prove them wrong, you're missing out on most of the valuable energy that you have to drive because there's much more negativity than there is positivity. So these guys were like, Oh, well, fuck, dude. It's not about proving people wrong. It's about proving people right. Okay. Well, there's not enough people that you could prove right when you're When you're just starting out. So you have to be able to harness that negativity. And dude, there's been times where guys that are way above me have given me negativity, and that's the shit that really fucking sticks. You know what I'm saying? It's like, All right, bitch. One day I'll be sitting across table from you.

00:54:16

You know what I mean? Game on. I'm going to tell you this. There's a few companies that I'm going to buy just to fucking fire people. I ain't playing, dude. I believe you.

00:54:25

Yeah. I know. I wholeheartedly believe you.

00:54:27

I ain't playing. I don't ever fucking forget. I might I smile. I might fucking shake your hand. I might smile on your fucking face. I'm going to tell you right now, I don't fucking forget. I've never forget. Never, ever, ever. I look forward to it.

00:54:41

Yeah. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, that was three, doc.

00:54:44

Yeah. That's three. 7: 00 PM tonight, Central Time. Real AFCTI Live. Be there. Yeah. All right, guys, let's go out and kick some ass. Don't be a hoe.

00:54:57

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Episode description

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to deal with feeling behind when you lack clear goals, how to regain control during chaos in a growing business, and how to recognize personal growth when others don't support the new you.