What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q&A. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now DJ is going to tell you how to submit your questions to be answered on the show.
Yeah, guys, email these questions into askandy@andyfrisella.com. You can check the link in the description below or drop them comments right here on this episode. And we'll check them out that way.
Now guys, if it's your first time listening, we have shows within the show. Tonight you're going to see CTI. That is a live broadcast at 7 Central on YouTube and X. We do those on Mondays and Thursdays. And then, uh, we have Real Talk. Real Talk is just 5-20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 Hard Versus. Uh, that's where we bring people on who have completed the 75 Hard program have used it to transform their lives. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use 75 Hard to get back on track. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it's the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most popular mental transformation program ever in history. And you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed. There is also a book available that you can purchase at andyforsella.com. It is called The Book on Mental Toughness. Uh, you don't need to buy it, but if you do, it's got the entire Live Hard program plus a whole bunch of other chapters on mental toughness, why it's important and how to use it.
Uh, we're probably the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. Um, and the reason we don't is because I want you guys to always know that whatever I say is my own opinion and, uh, I'm not bought and paid for. And in exchange for that, you know, I pass up on quite a bit of money. So I just ask very simply, guys, that if you enjoy the show, if it makes you laugh, it makes you think, it gives you a new perspective, if you think it's important, please do us a favor and bring people to the show. Okay? So don't be a hoe.
Share the show.
All right.
What's going on, dog?
Nothing, man. What's up?
Oh, shit. You know, yeah. Getting to it. Doing the thing.
Yeah. You're doing it, dude.
Dude, I'm doing it. I'm sore.
Yeah.
Like, I'm sore than I've ever been before.
Well, you haven't lifted in a while.
It's been a minute.
Yeah, it's been a couple years since you've been lifting.
No, I ain't been that long.
It has been that long.
Well, years, it ain't been that long.
It's been a couple years since you've been—
I've been off for like, I've been off legitimately, it's been like 9 months.
Okay, but then it was like 9— that was like once, and it was like 9 months before that.
Correct.
Yeah. Okay, so yeah, a couple years. Anyway, but you're looking good, bro. Were you down to under 260, right at 260?
Yeah, I'm like 265 right now.
You're trying to get some muscle and get leaned up? Yeah. Doing good, bro.
Yeah, trying to just keep going, dude. It's just a mind fuck, dude, because like I just, I want to get down, down and then build back up because I feel like if I'm here now, I'm gonna start building, I'm gonna get back up to fucking 280.
No, you know, no, that's not how it works.
Yeah, I know, it's a mind fuck. Yeah, it's a mind fuck. Yeah, it's a process though.
Lift, eat right, do some cardio, and things will work.
Yeah, it's a process, dude. I was talking to your dad the other day about it. I'm like, he's like, yeah, you know, I probably lost 10,000 pounds in my lifetime. You know, cause it's that fucking roller coaster, dude. It's, it's, it's, it's a, it's a process, man. Yeah.
I mean, look, dude, most people go through that and that is why you have to address the issue at the mental level as opposed to the physical level.
Yeah.
You know, it wasn't until that really clicked for me that I was able to take the weight off that I had. For those of you guys that don't know, I was, uh, very heavy. I was 350 pounds. Not, not that there's a good 350, but Certainly wasn't good on me. Um, and I had done that too, man. I had struggled with my weight my whole life. You know, I grew up pretty chunky.
Yeah.
Uh, you know, I, I always got bullied for being fat. Um, and then I went through phases my whole life where I would, I would kind of get in shape. I would get in like 80% shape and then I would get fat again. And then I would get in like 80% shape and then I would get fat again and I would go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. And it wasn't until it clicked for me that like, this is not a problem with my body. This is a problem with my mental fortitude and my ability to understand that discipline is a perishable skill. And if you don't practice it and you don't keep it up, it fades away. And, um, when I finally made that connection, you know, which was right around the time that 75 Hard was born, uh, you know, I haven't— I've been, I've been able to keep off— I lost 110 pounds that first year and I've kept it off for It's been 10 years.
This is the longest.
Yeah, it's been 10 years without me gaining, you know, more than 3 or 4 pounds on the upside. That's crazy.
Yeah, it's not crazy. It's— but it's fun.
Yeah, I mean, the heaviest I've been the last 10 years is probably, you know, 272 or 273. Yeah, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And, uh, that's pretty good for me, you know. But I, I, uh, in the last year or two, it's probably been 260, you know what I mean? And it keeps notching down and And as I get older, I'm, you know, working my way down to just being more healthy and more, more lean. You don't see a lot of old guys walking around at 260.
No.
You know what I'm saying?
And if you do, it's not good.
Yeah. So, you know, my goal for this year is to try and, you know, make that next step to where instead of it being 260 where I hover at, maybe it's like low 250s, you know, 250.
Yeah.
So yeah, bro, that's what I'm working on.
Well, guess on the right.
Yep.
I fucking said that the other day. So I said, I said, guess on the right side. I said, yeah, and fucking pizza bar on the left, motherfucker. I'm watching you. Yeah, I'm like, hey, yeah, I got you, dog. I got you. Hell yeah, man. Well, guys, it is Monday, um, a beautiful day to get better. I got 3 good ones.
Yep.
Yeah, let's, let's, let's dive into these, guys. Andy, question number 1. Andy, I'm 34. Married with one kid, and I run a small construction company with about 12 employees. Uh, 5 years ago, my goal was just to get the business stable and make more money than I did working for someone else. Now we're doing pretty well. We're profitable. My family's comfortable. Life is good, but something weird has happened. Uh, the things that used to feel like big wins don't feel like wins anymore. Hitting a revenue goal, buying a new truck, growing the team. It's all great. But after a week, it just feels normal. And I'm already chasing the next thing. Part of me questions if this is what ambition is supposed to feel like, but another part of me worries, uh, I'm setting myself up to never actually feel satisfied. Did you ever struggle with the bar constantly moving like that? And how do you keep yourself pushing without feeling like nothing is ever enough?
Well, look, there's a lot in that question. All right. The reality of ambition, if you are a naturally ambitious human, is always bigger, better, more, uh, you know, and that's the nature. That's how people— that's how people think that are wired that way. When you're not wired that way, um, you know, you get to a point where you could feel like you're doing something wrong, um, and, and that doesn't It doesn't help it that everybody around you is telling you, oh, you need to relax. You need to take a break. You need to chill and, you know, breathe in the air. And yeah, no shit, man. We all know that. You know, when you, when you first start out and you don't have anything, like you're starting from zero and you get that first win or that second win or that third win. And you start to climb the ladder of the, of the levels that you're trying to push down the path, you know, you get used to winning and it's just like, you know, new shoes or, you know, you go to the store, you order a new pair of Jordans, you're like, fuck, these are awesome.
And then a week later, you know, you're like, ah, they're just shoes.
Yeah.
And that's kind of the norm for people that are pursuing a higher level of existence, whether it be their business, their life, or whatever, once you get a taste of it and once you understand what's possible, it's hard not to want to go, right? Most people never discover what they're actually capable of doing, so they don't really go very hard. But once you get a taste, once you understand like, oh, this really is as simple as inputs and outputs, and if I do the right inputs and I allow time to do its job, it produces the output I want. Once you understand that mentally, it unlocks a whole new level inside of you because now you understand the rules of the game. It's not mystical anymore. It's not an accident anymore. It's not luck anymore. You understand. And when we spend our whole lives around people who believe that it's luck or circumstance or, you know, it's out of our control, once we figure out that it is in our control, it puts a whole new level of like enthusiasm and, and, you know, drive and ambition within us. And that can happen at certain points.
Hopefully it happens as young as possible for you. That didn't really happen for me until I was in my 30s. Okay. Um, I worked and worked and worked and worked and worked. I never really saw much reward, but then when I started seeing the reward, like we started making a little bit of money, things started going the right way. That drove me into like overdrive, dude, where I'm like, oh shit, this is how it works. Okay. So you're going through a natural progression of someone who didn't really understand how it worked. You committed anyway. Okay. And you did the work and now you're starting to have belief. We talk about this a lot on the show. The work comes before the belief. You have to go out and be willing to execute over and over and over and over again with nobody clapping. Nobody cheering, nobody giving a shit, and you still showing up and putting in at a high level. And you have to do that for a long time before the wins ever show up. But once they show up even a little bit, now you change. Okay, so you're just someone who's discovering this at 34.
Some people figure this out at 25. Some people figure this out when they're 55. You're very young still. You may not feel it, but that's very young, especially in business. And I don't think you should— I know you should not look at it like that's something wrong. You should look at it like you just got a peek into what your true potential might be. Okay. And once you really understand what success is about, because success isn't about your bank account, it's not about your businesses, it's not about your personal development. It's not about any of that shit because the truth of the matter is everybody starts at a different place. So you can't really measure your result against someone else's result. That's not— you can, but it's not the best way to do it. The best way to measure success is ask yourself, am I committed to the pursuit of my own true potential? And what does that mean? That means that you are working to be the best that you can be. And the better you get and the longer you go, you acquire more skills. Okay. Which expands your potential for the future.
All right. But because we're human beings and because we end up dying, the reality is what you know, when you're 80 years old is way more than what you know at 40, but you don't have the physical capacity to still operate that way. So what happens is you have potential that you can't execute on. All right. So it's never reached. What does that actually mean?
Yeah.
So what that actually means is that you make a commitment to being the best you can, knowing that you will never actually reach your potential. You will never actually reach it because it's always expanding. This is specifically for business and personal development. Right? Like if you're a basketball player, you know, you get to be 45 years old and you're probably gonna start going downhill no matter what you do. Right. But when it comes to knowledge and it comes to information and it comes to what we know about the world and what we know about business, and this is what I love about business is because it's a lifelong game. You actually get better as you get older. So the guy who's 40, that's been doing it for 20 years is going to kick the shit out of the guy who's 20. It doesn't matter how much money that 20-year-old pours into it because he doesn't know. All right, so you have to understand that like as you progress, you're going to acquire more knowledge and more resources, more skills, more relationships, and that will expand your potential. And when you've truly unlocked the, the awareness that you are capable and that your life is a result of your execution, now you're working a different game.
Now you're, you're un— you're unlimited forward, and that's where you're finding yourself right now. You just now cracked the, the code to where you realize, okay, I could keep winning, but the wins don't mean the same thing. All right, so how do we fix that? Well, we fix that by expanding what it is that we're trying to do. All right. And what that, whatever that purpose is, whether it's you're a missionary, okay. And you've served so many people for so long and you're like, man, you know, I'm kind of not used to, well, okay. What's the next level? What's the next level after that? Same thing with business. Same thing with anything. The more you achieve, the more skills you have, which allows you to achieve more. And that cycle repeats over and over and over and over again. And the truth of the matter is there is no end. And you hear this, you hear this all the time, right? It's not about the destination. It's about the journey. That's actually true. It is about the journey. And, um, so the answer for you is going to be, you're going to have to adjust what your purpose is.
Your purpose by your email says, I want to provide for my family. I want to have a little extra money. I want to blah, blah, blah. And that's all great shit. That's like your foundation. That's the shit you have to have. Okay. But that's not the win, bro, because now you have all this knowledge and now you have all these skills and now you have these relationships and now you know how to execute. And if you stop now, you're going to feel like a failure your whole life regardless, because you're going to always ask yourself, what could I have been had I actually committed? So the answer for anybody who's in this situation is going to be to expand what it is that you're doing from here. Just like you said, you said the bar is always rising. That's what champions do, bro. Champions don't hit the bar and celebrate. When they get close to the bar, they raise the bar. Okay. And they keep going. And this is a fundamental difference between like perpetual achievers and and people who may win once or twice in their life and then end up losing. And what you have to realize, dude, is that 34 years old, man, you don't really have a choice but to go any harder, to go harder, because the truth of the matter is, is the world is continuing to move.
Okay. It's always progressing forward. And if you're the guy who says, oh, I'm 35 years old and I'm great where I'm at, and you just kind of sit on that. You end up losing it anyway. So we don't have a choice as entrepreneurs but to keep pressing and keep pressing and keep pressing, expanding our purpose, expanding the goals, expanding the horizon, not just for our own fulfillment, but also it's a necessity of competition. If you don't continue to push, you will lose the shit that you have. Okay. So the only way to protect the comfort that you actually have is to stay on offense and keep going. Okay. So there's a lot there, but at the end of the day, it comes down to a very simple thing. You have the understanding now that you probably didn't have your whole life, that if you execute, results happen. And that's creating a situation where now you're equipped to actually win long-term, and it's getting exciting for you, but you're bored. You're bored with the shit. You're bored with the truck or you're bored with this or you're bored with that. That shit is irrelevant. Those are nice things that happen along the way.
They're not the purpose of what you're trying to do, right? Like when I walk in my garage and I look at all my cars, I don't think, oh man, I need to go work harder so I can get another car. These are just things that happen along the way because I'm committed to what I'm doing.
We also got employees too, right? And like that, maybe that's the expansion.
Well, that, that was what it was for me.
Yeah.
You know, back in 2014, I caught pneumonia and I wasn't able to go to work for a long time, 17 days in a row. It was the longest I've ever— the reason I know that is because I've never missed that many days. And, you know, I was sitting at home and I'm watching my bank account, you know, continue to grow, but I'm fucking miserable, bro. I'm miserable. And it dawned on me that like, oh shit, this is why. Because I never understood this. Like, why? Why does a successful— why would a dude with all this success and all this good shit going on, why would they go kill themselves? That doesn't make sense. Right. And I started to figure it out because once you— like, if you've made your whole identity achievement and then you've achieved everything that you want, especially if you're like naturally wired that way, it gets very empty because you don't know what to do. You're like, fuck, dude, I've done everything. Is it like, is this it?
Yeah.
And then you start like looking for a different purpose, but you can't find one because You've been doing this thing forever. And the answer that I found in my little journey with that was that I had to shift my focus from myself into my obligation for others. Okay. And then, you know, obviously continue to evolve the business too. But whenever I went from thinking about just myself to feeling obligated for all the people that helped me build this. That changed my purpose. So now no longer is it— it's not hard for me to show up at 27 years in because I know that if I don't, other people suffer. You see what I'm saying?
I want to clarify that too, because people will hear that. It's like, oh, well, you know, it must be saying it was, it was bad to be selfless or selfish in the beginning.
No, you have to be like that.
That's what got you.
You have to be— it was necessary. You have to set the foundation.
Yeah.
You've got it. You got to take care of home first. First. Yeah, that's the point.
Yeah.
And then you understand, like, all right, I gotta build and build and build and build, right?
Yeah.
So important. It's, um, you know, being an entrepreneur comes with a lot of mental battles. It just does. And most of the great entrepreneurs I know are somewhat fucking crazy. Like, they're just crazy type of people.
Yeah.
And, uh, they're wired different, they think different, they act different, they talk different. And none of the conversations that you have with someone who is what you would call quote unquote like a regular person, those are not the conversations that those people talk about. Like they don't talk about the Kardashians. They don't talk about sports. They don't talk about— they're talking about business, bro. It's their whole life, right? Like even—
they're not gossiping in small talk.
They're not gossiping. Like it's, it's even when you're having fun and you're drinking and you're smoking cigars and you're doing— the conversation is always about winning. It's always about like, hey, have you thought about this? Or did you see this guy? They're really doing it. What do you think they're doing? Like that, that's the conversation. And that's the kind of friends you want, by the way, because you don't need this lowlife shit of gossip and drama and all this shit in your life. Um, but yeah, man, it's, it comes with a lot of mental battles and it's growth and you're going through it. And I personally believe that because of the way that you frame the question, You're much more aware than maybe you're giving yourself credit for. And the answer to your question is to continue to expand, shift your obligation from yourself to those dozen people that you have, you said, okay, and, and work on creating a big enough company where they can have their dreams just like you're having yours. You want to talk about big fucking mission?
Yeah.
You know how big you got to be for that? It's got to be big.
Yeah.
So like, dude, you got a lot of work to do if you really, if you really give a fuck about your people. You know, which you should.
Yeah, so that's real, man.
Um, so yeah, man, there's a lot to it. And, um, at the end of the day, man, it's a natural progression of understanding and awareness.
Dude, I want to ask this too as a follow-up, like thinking about it this way too, right? Because I've heard you say this before where, you know, you're at a point where winning now is, it's expected. Yeah, right. When did that— when did that shift? Or was it always that way? Because, like, I know, I imagine, like, it's like, you know, fuck, I won. I'm surprised I won.
Yeah.
Oh, shit. All right, cool. So when did that transition?
So the first 10 years, as you guys know, we made $53,000 or $58,380 total for the first 10 years. All right. Now, remember, this is before the internet. This is before social media. This is before really like any of the new technology. So that sounds like a long time, but you nowadays, you wouldn't have to— there was no way to advertise, bro. Like now you can run geo-targeted fucking, you know, e-com shit to your— I mean, right down to the zip code or neighborhood, right? That shit didn't exist. So it was just a lot harder and a lot longer. But for me, you know, It's the same thing I'm saying for this guy. Like, once I started winning a little bit and I realized— like, when I first started winning, I was like, oh shit, dude, it's just— this is working, this is amazing, right? I dissected what had allowed us to have those wins and I started replicating those in other areas and it fucking translated. So that's what gave me the awareness for me to go from, oh, you know, we had this one thing to work to like understanding how it works.
Okay. And then once you understand how it works, it takes winning from this thing that is like lucky or happenstance or special circumstances to, oh, I'm in control of this. And when you're— if you're in control of it, why wouldn't you expect to win? Yeah, that should be the expectation. Right. So like true, like real, like great level achievers and winners there, they, anything less than a win, it doesn't, it's like, I guess what I'm trying to say is like the win stops doing the dopamine because you expect it, but it also makes winning easier. All right. Yeah.
So you know what goes into it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's not like there's— it's only magical when you don't understand it.
Yeah.
And then once you understand it, it's no different than baking a cake, bro. You know, if I put the ingredients in and I mix it up and I put it in the oven for a certain amount of time, I know what I'm going to get.
I'm going to get a fucking cake.
So once you understand the mechanisms and the process for creating, you know, the winning is expected. The downside of that is you're never going to get the dopamine that you got before. So like That's why the purpose is so important, because it's not about like just the win. It's about winning big enough for everybody to win.
Yeah, has to be, bro.
Yeah, dude.
Hell yeah, guys. Andy, question number 2.
Like, dude, nowadays, like, real talk, I get way more excitement and fulfillment from seeing people on my teams get a new car or get a house or do their thing, right? Like, that's the shit that I like now. So it's different.
Oh yeah, I'm with it, dude. Uh, guys, Andy, question number 2. Andy, I'm 20 and grew up in a house where money was always tight. My parents worked hard, but every conversation about money was stressful. Now that I'm starting my adult life, I noticed I still think about money from that place of fear. I either feel like I need to save every dollar or I get anxious about taking any kind of risk. For someone like you who's gone on to build real wealth, how did you change your relationship with money if you didn't grow up around it? Got a young buck on this one. Yeah.
Um, Okay. First of all, you got to realize that as much as you love your parents and as much as they're great parents and all these things, they don't know shit about fucking money or they'd have a whole bunch. Okay. Um, so you can't, you have to remove yourself from that, that psychological pattern that you have been brought up with, right? Money's, money's bad. Money's evil. Too much money is this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Don't talk about it.
Yeah. Money is just a tool. It's leverage. Okay. And when you make it, you can decide how you want to leverage that in different ways. You can reward yourself, you can create more things, you can do things for charity. It gives you all kinds of leverage and power that you're going to want. And by the way, as good people, we have an obligation to seek positions of power because if we don't, bad people will. All right. So we have to understand there's a reason why that narrative exists. Money's bad. You know, it's for greedy people. It's materialism. It's this, it's that, it's evil. Nobody with money saying that. It's, it's, it's put down through the system intentionally to make you feel exactly how you feel, which is weird about money.
Yeah.
Okay. So you have to change your viewpoint on money. You have to look at it instead of it like a something that you're chasing or something that you're after. You have to understand that money is simply a tool that people use to trade for a solution that they are after. Okay. And when you start to think about it like that, that removes a lot of the guilt and the shame and the things about money, because you understand that you're solving this person's problem. And they are willing to give you the money. Okay. So money is really a great thing because you're solving a problem. That person is willingly giving you the money. All right. What's wrong with that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing.
Right.
Sounds good to me.
Money's only bad when people cheat other people out of money. Okay. And the reason that people think that every single person cheats everybody out of money is because for 70 years there was no blow-off valve or accountability for the biggest companies in the world that could advertise. They were allowed to sell shitty products because there was no way for customers to complain about it. There was no internet. There was no way for people to talk. And the only way for bad word of mouth to really spread is if I saw you in person. And what are the chances that I'm going to see you in person and we're going to be hanging out drinking beers? I'm going to tell you how shitty this was. So word of mouth did not travel the way that it does now. So now we live in this scenario. And by the way, that's why a lot of old people say that shit. That's why a lot of parents say that shit, because they grew up in an era where companies could get away with fucking people. They can't do that anymore. All right. Now you might have some course sellers and some, some, you know, scammers and things like that on the internet, but I'm talking about a real company.
If you're a real company with a real service, a real product, um, and you do a job half-ass and charge people for it, everybody's going to know. Okay, so what does that mean? That means that the only way to succeed long-term is by doing the right thing and solving their problem the best way possible, and then them willingly giving you their money. All right, what's— that's ethical. That's how you're supposed to do it. Okay, and by the way, not only is that how you're supposed to do it, that's the only fucking way it works anymore. So you can't really get wealthy doing shit the wrong way. It's not possible unless you're— and I'm talking about for regular people, like unless you're one of these elites that was born with trillions of dollars and all these connections, that's different. I'm talking about you and me and the regular person. All right. So you have to understand, once you start to understand that, it removes a lot of the bullshit thinking that comes around money. Okay. And, um, you do need to change it because the truth of the matter is, is that when you put your focus on money being scarce, they call it scarcity mindset, that it will be harder for you to get money.
Okay. And that's because like what you're— the signals that you're signaling the universe. I know everybody likes to say, well, it's God, not the universe. Well, who the fuck made the universe? If you believe in God. Okay. God made it. That means the rules are the same. All right. Is gravity real? Who made gravity?
That's right.
You see what I'm saying?
Right.
So we have to understand that our world rewards intention very strongly. And if you have the vibes that money's hard to get, money's scarce, I got— I better pinch my pennies. You're going to have a really hard time bringing money in. It's not— it's going to be— you're putting up natural resistance. The universe is hearing you say, Man, money's got it. Money's hard. So it's going to make it hard on you. You know what I mean? So when you can have, when you could switch that into an abundant mindset where you think, oh, you know, money's just a byproduct of the, of the, of the quality of the work that I do, you remove that completely. Okay. And then money starts to flow easier. Another thing that makes money flow easier, and I don't want to be telling anybody to be irresponsible, but spending it.
Yeah.
Okay. Like letting it go.
Yeah.
Spending it on some shit, making sure that you're not overvaluing what that money is. I'm not saying don't be responsible, but money is meant to be spent on things. Okay. There's no award for the dude that dies with the most fucking money.
That's right.
Right.
Bury yourself.
Right. Yeah. Yeah. So, so like, dude, you know, really think about all those things because this works just like when, when when people hate on other people. It's the same thing. All right, you have to be very careful about how you think when you see other people win. If you see somebody else win and all of a sudden you're jealous, you're angry, you get upset, you are telling the universe, I don't like winning. And you know what the universe is going to deliver to you? A bunch of losing. Okay, so you have to be very careful. And this is not just what you speak. This is what you think and what you feel. And it takes time for you to really retrain yourself to see people and say, fuck yeah, man, that's awesome. Because if that dude can do it, then I can do it. All right. And that's how you should be looking at other people's achievements. They should be inspirational. You should root for them, even if they're your competitor, because if they can do it, why the fuck can't you do it? And why can't you do it a little bit better?
You see what I'm saying? So once you switch that and you, and you do these things that we're talking about here, your mindset about money will slowly shift and you will become one of the people that, you know, gets it a lot more easily.
Yeah. Let me ask you this because, you know, I feel like a lot of people will say this also. It's like, oh, well, money changes people. You start making money, you start, you know, oh, he changed because of the money. Does money change you or does it enhance who you are? What's, what's your, what's your feeling on that statement?
I think it depends. I think it depends. I think I know a lot of people who have made money that have changed, but not drastically like, like people like to say. Yeah, right. Yeah. I think most of the time when people fucking say that, I think it's not about the person with the money changing. It's how that person sees that person. Right.
Yeah.
So like, and by the way, you're supposed to fucking change. You're supposed to change. Like, I don't know where this rule came about that you're supposed to stay in the same circle that you stayed in in high school and, and, and do, you know, like you're supposed to evolve, you're supposed to grow, you're supposed to change. And if you see someone that you haven't seen for 5 years and you haven't changed, you're not doing it right.
Now then you talk shit about that, right? How does that make sense?
So, so like, dude, you know, we have to understand, dude, that regular people are never going to understand. They're never going to understand it, dude. They're never going to understand it. So when you go out and you go from, you know, regular dude hangs out with the boys, you start the thing and, you know, you start doing it and everybody's like, oh, that's cool, you know? And then you start doing a little more and they're like, oh, when are you going to get a real job? And then you start doing a little more and in 10 years, all of a sudden, you know, you're killing it and they're in that same spot. Of course they're going to see you as changed because you did fucking change. Right. But like, I would like to leave you guys with this thought. Why the fuck would you not want to change? Don't you want to be better? Don't you want to be fitter? Don't you want to be more intelligent? Don't you want to make more money? Is that a change?
Yeah.
Okay.
Another reason you got going.
So are they wrong that you changed?
Right.
They're not wrong. Right. That's their perception. Now I have seen some people that, you know, like I said, they've changed a little bit. But mostly, you know, I think it accelerates the qualities of the people. It enhances them or it amplifies the negative traits about them.
Yeah. Like if you're a bad person with no money, you can be a bad person.
Yeah. But do bad people don't keep their money, man? Yeah. They always end up doing something fucked up. They get into something illegal. They try to cut a corner. They piss people off. They do. They get their ego. Like, here's one thing you're going to understand. In business, if you keep going, you're going to find out that even when you're a quote unquote big dog, you're still a little dog. All right. And there's still a lot of people that are way fucking smarter than you and way better than you. And it's funny to me because, you know, you see a lot of these midsize business owners and they walk around like they got a 10-foot dick, bro. And it's like, bro, like, who do you, who do you hang around? Like, do you hang, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you should always be trying to be surrounded by people doing better than you. That's my opinion. I try to— I try to have friends that know more than me, that do better than me, that are kicking ass more than me so that I can learn to be better. Right. And that humility has to stick regardless of what that revenue or your paycheck says.
You know what I mean?
Absolutely.
But yeah, dude, I think it amplifies people. I think good people, like good-hearted people, they make money, they do good things with it.
To do more good things.
Yeah. Very selfish people. You know, they will hoard all the money and their company will go out of business. So like, you know, does it change people? Yeah, it fucking changes people. You're fucking not broke. You're fucking living in a nicer house. You're able to do shit. You're able to do whatever the fuck you want. That's a pretty big change from where the fuck you were. So they're actually right that you change, but it's not a bad thing.
Yeah.
And that's where you got to get your mind around. It's okay. If, if, if you're, if your friends from high school aren't saying, man, he changed, then you did it wrong, right? You're doing it wrong. That means you're staying in the same spot. And let me ask you something. If the people that you used to be around can still relate to you and you have these big goals, doesn't that mean that you're, you're still understood by the base level people? Which means you haven't evolved enough.
Not good, right?
What it actually means is you're so far away from where the fuck you want to go. Like, if you're actually on the path to where the fuck you want to go, everybody that ever knew you when you were fucking in high school or 20 or in college is going to be like, damn, that dude fucking changed. If they're not saying that shit, then you're doing something wrong.
I love it. I got one more thing on this for the Young Bucks, because I know we talk a lot about this too, right? And I think you said it somehow to the effect of like, you know, like, because people will say like, oh, more money, uh, you know, less problems, or more problems. I mean, it said a few different ways where money makes, you know, uh, you won't have any problems if you get rich, right?
Yeah.
And the way you've, you've said this to me at least is like, no, you just, your ability to solve problems gets faster.
That's true.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. But also you have bigger problems.
Yeah.
Okay. And also you deal with mental problems. Okay. Like, like, like for example, okay. If you— man, I don't know how to say this. When you make a lot of money. All right. And let's say your friends and family don't Okay. And they come to you for $500. All right. You know that $500 means a whole fucking lot to that person. Okay. But you also know that if you give them the $500, you're actually keeping them from learning the lesson of how they got in that position in the first place. So there becomes this like moral argument inside of your head that comes with a lot of guilt sometimes. All right. Sometimes you want to really help someone, but you also know that if you help them, you're actually handicapping them. And then those people think that you're a fucking greedy penny-pinching miser that doesn't want anybody to fucking have any money.
Right.
You know what I'm saying? So there's all kinds of things that come with it, dude. Yeah, it does not solve your fucking problems, that's for sure. It takes away the problems that you have now and replaces them with different problems that quite honestly are a lot more emotionally intense to solve than what you had when it was just like, hey, I want to go to the steakhouse, but I can't, so I'm going to go to Steak 'n Shake. You know what I mean? That's right. So it's, it's different, man. It's not— it's— it allows you leverage. It allows you to make better decisions. It allows you more freedom. It allows you to help more people. It allows you to live a better life. But at the end of the day, there's more responsibility with being that person because, you know, then on top of it, dude, you're going to have people that come to you and tell you this. Like, bro, I could tell you so many fucking war stories about this. Dude, one time I tell one, okay? One time I had an employee who— and this is many, many years ago. Who came to me and said that they weren't doing very good.
And I went back and I asked him, I said, hey, what's up? Well, you know, I got medical bills. I've been having all these medical problems. I owe, you know, $8,000 and it's making me freak the fuck out. I'm maxed out on my credit cards, this, that, the other. So at one point in time, this was a pretty good employee. And so I'm like, fuck, all right. Well, let me, let me handle this. All right. So I gave him a check for $8,000. All right. The next week, the person quits. Quits the company. Yeah. Yeah. So I call back to the department that they work in. I say, hey, did so-and-so quit? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, what's going on? With this person? And they were like, well, you know, they, they were, they've been kind of like missing work and they've been kind of, you know, they've been dealing with this medical shit. I'm like, okay, well, how many days have they missed? And this was like May. And I said, well, how many days have they missed this year? 72 fucking days. 72 fucking days. I didn't know this. Jesus. So then I was like, well, why does this person still have a fucking job anyway?
How did he quit? Why didn't we fire him? Right. Yeah.
So, so then I go in and I tell my brother, I said, dude, let me tell you this story. And I tell him this story and he's just like staring at me with like this blank look on his face. And I'm like, what? And he goes, dude, that same person, I'm not going to use their name. I should. That same person came to me 2 weeks ago and I gave him 5 grand.
Oh fuck.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Totally fucked us. Okay. And so like when you, when you, when you know someone who can help you and they decide not to, there's a reason. And the reason likely is one, they know that I'm holding them. You, they know the person with the money knows that if they solve the problem, that the person won't learn a lesson. Number 2, they know how many times they've been fucked by people. Okay, so, but that's the kind of shit that happens to you when you, when you're a good-hearted person. Oh man, people try to take advantage of it. So that's fucked up, dude. I can tell you, I never heard this story. I could tell you 20 other fucking stories just like that.
That's crazy.
Yeah. Listen, I'll tell you this. I've never helped someone not one fucking time where they didn't end up fucking me on it ever. Fucking ever.
Crazy.
So that's crazy.
Yeah, that's crazy. Fuck, man.
I have two follow-up questions in this. So you said earlier that if somebody solves a problem and earns money for it, that's totally good. That should— we should strive for that.
Yeah.
What if someone's business is not exactly solving a problem in some— something selective or elective? Like, for example, decoration, lights, selling cake, ice cream, things like that.
You're still solving a problem for the experience.
Well, how would you position it?
Okay, let's use your, your decoration lights thing. What's the problem?
I need fucking lights.
No. What's the problem?
I don't have decoration. I don't know how to do it.
I don't like this fucking room. Okay, that's a fucking problem for the design. Okay. Like, I look around here and this doesn't feel right. I don't like this shit.
Okay.
All right. So I go hire you to come in and do the decoration, and when I walk in, it's fucking awesome. And I'm like, holy shit, Zeeshan, this is amazing, bro. And you have like a bottle of champagne sitting on the table and you do a little extra kind of little extra things. That person, me, is going to say, how much is this? And you're going to say— I'm going to say, fuck, that's it. Here's some more. You know what I mean?
That brings me to my second question. Like, for example, when people are offering those kind of services which are elective, meaning like people don't need them, they choose to have them.
Yeah.
So often people are very hesitant to ask for appropriate amount of money because they think, I don't know, people want this or not, or they lowball themselves. How do you tackle that?
The reason most people price incorrectly is because they're pricing emotionally based upon their life experience up until that point. Funny enough, this is what makes most salespeople suck. All right. A salesperson that's selling, let's say, a $1,000 product who's making, you know, $20 an hour. All right. $1,000 products are fucking a lot of money to them. So they get this natural hesitation based upon what they think is expensive. And then they hesitate to ask for the sale, even though that person over there, $1,000 might be like $5 to them. So there's a psychological barrier that has to be overcome.
How do you overcome that?
Well, you have to understand, why do you think— this is what we talk about, multi-level thinking. Okay. I think this, here's what I think. I think this is too much. Why do I think that? That's where you're going to find the answer. Okay. So you think this, you catch yourself thinking that, why do I think this? The answer is because you grew up in a situation or you are currently in a situation where money is scarce. Correct. So you are afraid to ask for something that is expensive to you that may not be to that person. This is a huge— dude, when I was training our sales force just in the stores, a big problem that we used to have is that people would judge people based upon what they were wearing or what car they drove up in. And you cannot do that, bro, because some of the most wealthy people, they don't look wealthy, dude. They, they walk around in jorts and a Harley-Davidson shirt and, you know, loaded.
Yeah, I think they'll have $5,000 in cash in their pocket.
Yeah, yeah, right. So you don't, you don't know. And you have to understand that the reason that you think that's a lot of money is because it's a lot of money to you. But is it a lot of money for what you offer? And you have to be honest, you know, um, if you're offering a great product and it's, you know, like you're doing your room decorating and I walk in and I'm like, fuck, this is awesome. And the, and I say, how much is it? And you say, oh, it's $2,000. And I say, 2 grand. Fuck yeah, bro. You're way too low. You're way too low. You need to be at like 10 grand to where the person who's buying has been like, this is a lot of money, but fuck, dude, it's really good too. Okay. Like you have to, they have to pause for a minute to understand if it's like worth it. And that's where you start to find out if your pricing is in the right spot or not. If they don't hesitate at all, You're way too low, way too low. You're not going to make any money. Okay.
You got to be in that zone and it's got to be appropriate to the quality that you offer. Like if I come in and it's pretty good and you say, uh, it's $2,000 and I say, mm, that might be appropriate for the level of work that you did.
Right.
But if you're kicking ass and you're undercharging, that creates a problem for you. And that comes from your own inability to understand what your product's actually worth, meaning what the solution is worth to that person. You're not your customer, dude.
That's right.
You know what I'm saying? So you have to think about it and separate yourself from the idea that nobody will buy this. No, that's not true. You, you just can't afford it.
Yeah.
And by the way, By the way, you guys have no idea how much money is out there. Okay. You live in a, if you don't have any money, it's probably, it's a high likelihood that none of your friends have money too. All right. Which means that you're living in a scarcity mindset all the time. You're going to dinner and everybody's bitching about, oh, I had 2 beers. I had 1 beer. I had fucking nachos. I, and they're divvying up the shit. Right. Rich people don't act like that. They, they fucking fight over the bill. They're like, no, I'm fucking paying it, right? Yeah. It's a different thing. And when you start to remove yourself from the scarcity mindset, it— because this goes into the question that we were answering— it allows you to price things more appropriately. Okay.
Got it.
I love it. We got time for one more.
Yeah, we could do a whole episode on, on pricing, dude.
Yeah.
Like, But, but, but, but basics of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the market is going to tell you too, right?
The market always tells you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's too fucking— there's too much. Well, it ain't that good.
Well, or you're marketing the wrong customers.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck, bro, that is—
you can't market a premium product to a regular customer, bro. They're always going to say it's too much. It's not for them.
That's right.
Okay, the biggest— the number one attitude that you can have about your business is really simple. I'm not for everybody. You're not going to get every customer. You're not going to get every single person, no matter how great you think you are. You are not going to have it. You— the best you can do, like we talked about, I think last week or the week before, is you have 50% of the population that might like what you have. They might like it. Your job is to make as much of that 50% love it as you can. Okay, you have to not worry about the people that just aren't for you. That, you know what I'm saying? Like, like, dude, the dude buying, uh, Costco protein ain't buying First Form. It ain't happening. I don't even— we don't even market to that person. You see what I'm saying? That's right. It's a different thing. So, uh, you just have to understand where you're at. And, and then to add on top of that, dude, It's fucking math. Okay. Like, does the math math? Like, are you running a profitable business? If you're not, it's probably because you either suck or your prices are too low.
It's one of the two. It's probably a combination of both.
Yeah. I love it, dude. I love it. Guys, we got time for one more. We gotta get this in here, guys. Andy, question number 3. Andy, I'm almost 40. And I've been working in corporate finance for about 15 years. It's a good job, good salary, good benefits, stable career path. But for the last few years, I've had this idea for a business in an industry I know really well, and I can't shake the feeling that if I don't try it, I'll regret it later. The problem is, problem is I've got a mortgage, two kids, and a lot more to lose than I did when I was younger.
That's the way the system traps you.
Yeah, no shit. Walking away from stability to take a risk feels irresponsible sometimes. When you were earlier in your career and thinking about making a big move, how did you decide when it was time to actually bet on yourself instead of staying where it was safe?
All right, first of all, I didn't have an option. I didn't have a fallback plan. If I didn't do what I, what I did, I would have been digging ditches. All right. Nothing wrong with guys that dig ditches, but I didn't want to do that.
Yeah.
All right. So I didn't have a fucking option, so I had to go. That was it. I didn't have a choice. One of the things, and this is why I encourage all you young people to get now, get in the game now. All right. And young people doesn't mean 20. It means like under 40. Okay. Which you are, but especially for you guys that are 20.
Yeah.
All right. Get in the game now. Don't fucking wait. Because here's one of the things that allowed me to be able to continue to press. I didn't have a mortgage. I didn't have kids. I didn't have real bills to pay. I lived way below my means for a very long time. I limited the ability— or I'm sorry, I limited the responsibility that I would have and the financial obligations that I would have, which allowed me to go freer. Okay. And I didn't have a problem. I didn't have a problem living below my means because I never had anything, you know what I'm saying? So it was just like, once I started being able to go to dinner and pay for it and not worry about it, like that was a, that was a big deal. Right. So it wasn't like I was like living, I didn't feel like I was starving. Right. So all of these things contribute to having a lot, a lot less drag and more momentum moving forward. Now, for someone who does have a mortgage and kids and family, let me say this. There's lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of people who have done what it is you're trying to do.
Okay. And the way that they do it is they think about it. They do a couple of things tactically, but how they think about it is just like you said, What the fuck if I don't do it? What's my life going to be like if I don't do it? Am I going to be 60 years old, 70 years old, wishing I had? Which you will, especially when it's already in you. All right. So how do you do this tactically? Okay. Hey, wife and kids, come here. We're going to make this move. It probably means we're going to have to make some different moves with our life for a little bit. We're going to, we're going to, we're going to sell this house. We're going to move into a smaller house. We're going to get rid of our BMW. We're going to get a fucking Toyota. Okay. And you start to minimize your liabilities, which allow you less drag and more freedom to go where you want to go. The whole system works. If you— why do you think they tell you go to school, get a degree? Let me ask you this. Why do you think— let's just stop right there.
Let's forget about have a family. Do this, do that, do this, this, this. Because I do think having a family is very important. Why do they tell you to go to high school, get a college degree?
It's a trap.
They, they want to financially trap you so that you have to fucking work inside their system. All right. So the more that you can keep this drag off of you, the better and more free you are to chase your dreams. This is why guys like Warren Buffett, even though he's like the richest dude in the world, or one of them, still lives in his fucking same $50,000 house in Omaha, right? So when you think about like, should I do this or should I not, I would highly recommend that you do it for a bunch of reasons. One, you're going to regret it if you don't. Two, um, you said you work in the financial industry. How long do you think it is before AI is smart enough to fucking advise people on their finances?
Yeah, like at a mass scale, fucking—
it's very quickly. It's not happening right now. There's a lot of failures right now with that, but it will come.
Yeah.
All right. So I don't think you have the security you think you have. That's real shit. And you should think about that. If I were you and I would— let's say I was your homie. And we were— I would say, dude, you need to go fucking do that right now. And that's what I would say to you. You need to go fucking do it. One, you're going to regret it. Two, you're not as secure as you think you are. Three, you're gonna need a lot more money than you think to be into the upper split that's about to happen, which is between the haves and the have-nots. Um, you need to go. And everybody that's listening to this, that goes for you. Like, if you're not going, you better go hard because there's going to be a lot of changes and The people who are working like what would consider to be traditionally a secure job is now in question. Is it really secure? You see what I'm saying? Yeah, man.
I think I want to follow up on this piece because I think it needs a little bit more clarity, bro. It's like, you know, helping people understand like there's going to be things that you're like, the sacrifices people were like, oh, I got to get a smaller house. That's a sacrifice.
It's only a sacrifice if you lose.
Yeah.
It's only a sacrifice if you lose. Otherwise, it's investment.
Yeah. Yeah. But like, I mean, you got to make those choices if you, if you, if what you say you want is really what you want, right?
For sure. Like, that's what you got to do. But most people are so afraid to take any step backwards. Maybe it's because, you know, their family or maybe the social pressure. They don't want to, they don't want to be embarrassed. They don't want to look like they're losing. That shit doesn't fucking matter. And most people waste their whole lives sitting on something that they really want to do because they're trapped in the scenario, and you can get out. It's just going to take some creative thinking and some willingness to look stupid for a minute, which is required for anything that anybody's building. So, you know, these are all, uh, these are all fears that most people have when they start a business, because most people, when they do start their business, they do have other liabilities in their life, quote unquote, meaning things that they're financially obligated to, right? Your kids, your family, your fucking house, you got 3 car payments, whatever, right? You need to minimize all that shit. Okay. And nobody's going to remember that when you're fucking— when you've built your company into a $20 million company or $50 or $100 million company.
No one's going to remember that you went from driving a fucking Denali to a, to a fucking Toyota Corolla, bro. They're not going to— they're not going to remember that because you ain't driving it now.
Yeah.
And by the way, they don't even care.
Yeah.
They don't even care. It's a, It's a, it's a, you're afraid of like these people gossiping about, they're going to gossip about you anyway. What do you, what do you talk? If you don't win, they're going to call you a loser. If you win, they're going to say, oh, you did something like these people are going to gossip anyway. So like you can't let all of these fears roll around your head and keep you from going after what you really want. That's stupid.
Yeah.
Like how stupid is it? To give up all of your hopes, all of your dreams, everything you've ever wanted because people that you once were close to might not like it. That's, that's extremely fucking stupid. Okay. So if I were the, if I were you, I'd fucking go right now and I would make those decisions. I would do what needs to be done and I would go, right? That's what I would do.
Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
I love it, man. I love it, dude. Guys, Andy, that was 3.
Yep. Yep. We will see you guys tonight, 7 PM Central on X and YouTube. And let's go out and kick some ass.
All right.
Don't be a hoe.
Share the show.
On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to handle the constant drive for more when your "wins" start to feel normal, how to change your relationship with money if you didn't grow up around it, and how to know when it's the right time to start a business when you have responsibilities.