Transcript of We Finally Finish Our Previous Dungeons and Dragons Campaign With Timm Woods And Nick Turani

Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Ariott started out 30 years ago by revolutionizing cowboy boots, making them as comfortable and easy to wear as athletic shoes. Now, we apply that same innovation and performance know-how to industry-leading work boots and workwear. We develop and test both in the lab, then out in the real world, on real job sites with real workers. Bottom line, these are seriously comfortable work boots and workwear that do the job so you can do yours. On today's part of my take, it is Tim Woods with us, and we're going back into the realm. We're going to do some Dungeons and Dragons. We are on vacation. Absolutely. Absolutely. So nick is here. We've got Max, Hank, PFT, and myself, and Tim Woods bringing us on a great journey. One of the best ones we've done.

Really good teamwork on this.

Really good teamwork. Really good teamwork. Very excited for everyone to listen. Again, we're on vacation. We'll be back on Monday with an episode with Rosillo. But this is our once a year or twice a year Dungeon and Dragons vacation, and it's Tim woods. It's the best. So get excited to go into the land of Tim woods. I can't even remember what the name of the place is called. Narnia. Narnia. We're going to Narnia. We're bringing Tim woods with us, and we're brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Who's scoring big in the NBA this season? You are with the all new ways to get in on the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner in the NBA. Draftkings is the home of NBA player props, so you can get behind your favorite player any which way, from monster slams to dishing the rock to cleaning the glass. It's super easy for first-timers to get started. Try betting on something simple like picking an NBA player prop. Here's something special for first-timers. New DraftKings customers bet $5 to get $150 in bonus bets instantly. Take it to the rack with DraftKings Sportsbook. Every point counts.

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Okay, let's go. Football guy, but D-E-N-O-A-W-N. Pardon, mind, take.

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Yeah, pardon, Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings.

Take it to the rack with DraftKings Sportsbook. Every point counts. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code take. That's code take for new customers. Get $150 in bonus bets when you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings. The Crown is yours. Today is Friday, February 14th. Happy Valentine's Day, boys.

Happy Valentine's Day.

I love you guys.

I love you guys.

I love you guys.

We don't say it enough.

We don't. So Valentine's Day special treat, Tim Woods. We're going to be going off into the Dungeon and Dragons world with Tim Woods, nick, Max, myself, PFT, and Hank.

Watch this on YouTube because the outfits that we rock.

Please subscribe to the YouTube. Okay, Let's kick it to ourselves with Tim Woods. We're brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Chevy has packed more capability in the Silverado Trail boss so you can pack more fun into your weekend. Have yourself a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with the truck that says no to nothing. Tailgates, spontaneous camping trips, DIY projects. Bring it on. What about a cross country road trip? Silverado was the perfect ride for last year's Grit Week out West. Recently, they helped out giving fullbacks the recognition they deserve with the Low Man Award. And guess what? It's like a low man. It's like a fullback, 495 pounds of torque. Hold on to your sodas, max. Silverado's bring the grit, then pairs it with the latest truck tech inside and out, the result, the truck that can do it all, then show up on Monday with a story to tell. So learn more about the Silverado Trail boss at chevy. Com. Chevrolet, together, let's drive. Okay, here he is, Tim Woods and Dungeon and Dragons. Okay, we are back. It is Dungeon and Dragons time. We have Tim Woods here. We're very excited to get back into our mission.

If you are listening this on the podcast, you can go watch the video because we have an incredible set. We're all dressed up. Let's go around the room just for our podcast listeners. We'll start with Max. Max, nick are both here. Max, why don't you say who you are and what you're dressed as?

I am Hippo Maximus, the human Druid, and I am dressed as Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtle universe. Yes.

That's awesome. I am Greg, G-R-E-G, the Human Paladin, and I am dressed as Shredder from TMNT.

Oh, wow.

I am Wayne, the Hilldwarf Bard. And today, imagine my surprise when I came up here and I'm also dressed as Shredder. Oh, shit.

We got three Shredders.

Bad guy from Teenage Mutant.

Yeah, I'm Norm, the Human Barbarian, and we obviously didn't talk about this before because we should have planned better. I'm also Shredder.

Embarrassing at this point.

Yeah, and I'll complete the five. I'm Eerlik the Nome Warlock, and I am Leonardo from...

Oh, no.

We have four shredders and one turtle?

I was excited to finish this mission together. This is the first time we made it two episodes, and we really bonded last time, and I was led astray before we even began.

What's to stop us from bonding today?

Yeah, let's all stay together.

Well, maybe let's give some context for the Ninja Turtles. Maybe they don't know the lore.

Yeah, there's four Ninja Turtles. We got four costumes for Ninja Turtles. I think Max is going to be April O'Neill. But accidentally, we all ended up being Shredders, who is the bad guy.

Yeah, nick actually texted me a picture over the weekend, like an avatar. He's like, Oh, I got my costume all set. It was like, nice.

But listen, we're all going to stay together. I think the number one rule is all stay together. Number two rule is Shredders definitely stay together. Till the end. Yeah. And your number two rule might be number one.

It's fluid. We don't know where the priority goes.

If you've ever watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, shredder is in every episode. The Ninja Turtles are in every episode. They never actually kill each other.

Yeah, they just fight. Ifit's a fight. All right, so Tim, welcome back.

Thanks for having me back. Great to see you. It's good to be back. It's awesome. Is that a horn? This is my ranger garb. You can think of a ranger as, I would say, a medieval shredder a little bit.. Fuck, yes. As we pointed out, we did in our last session for the first time, both get to the end of the adventure For that Day, and no one had gotten killed. So I don't know if that will hold up today or not, but I'm very excited. This is so stupid.

There's just so many shredders.

We did end things on a very exciting cliffhanger last time. We did decide that we would do the extended version of the Forge of Furry adventure where we completed level one, but now we are discovering there's more to the adventure. I don't expect anybody to remember anything from last time. It's been six months I had to rewatch the episode, so I will give us some highlights of what happened last time. I first want to say that Norm, the Barbarian, just a reminder, did go to the bar and chug the boot in record time. Time. That was a big part of the beginning of last time and won over the hearts and souls of all of the elves in the town of Blasingdale by setting a new record on chugging. Big celebrity in town, for sure.

Also, just for clarification, Norm, the Barbarian, aka Shredder Oh, absolutely.

Working our way down the Shredders. Absolutely. You're keeping score at home. Absolutely. Greg with 2 Gs, the Paladin. I did want to remind you that you did get some good information and potions and stuff when you went to the local temple, you also did get a husband as well. You did put a wedding ring on the high priest.

That was completely accidental.

It was completely accidental. He was like, Oops, we are married now, and he is now escorting you on your adventures. I promise that no shit like that will happen again. No, definitely not. It's not only the high priest who I'm naming Horn Grim. Horn Grim, your husband is with you, as well as your moth. Don't forget, you have a big moth that you ride on. And I never asked a very important question. That moth gets a name at some point. So you can cook on that.

I was going to say maybe Shredder? Shredder Five.

Shredder Five. Shredder Five. It's a good moth name, I would say.

Little Shredder.

Wait, that sounds fucking silly. Little Shredder. Why do I think Shredder had a mini... Okay, never. I don't know. Little Shredder is going to be your noted moth 100%. I wanted to make sure we remember that Wayne, we did meet your family most notably your stepsister who was revealed to be, in fact, not your biological sister, but your stepsister, but only after she slept with the final boss of our last adventure, the Ogre Great Elf.

She got stuck in the window, and then he had to get her out.

But as I said, that'll happen. That'll happen. I've seen a lot of footage of that.

Is that Shredet?

That could certainly be Shredet. Let me just make a quick adjustment here. Shredet was what I picked. That's That's so weird. That's so weird. Thank God it was because I would have been pissed if she wasn't in a shredder. Absolutely. That's so perfectly worked out. This is the Thomas thing ever.

People are going to either hate it or love it.

We're all shredders. My parents would be so upset if I brought home a not shredder. Oh, my God.

Yes. My grandfather would be rolling over in his grave.

Absolutely. We'll share the same values that we have in our giant underground tank vehicle. We may run into your family again at some point, Wayne, in this adventure. Hippo Maximus, I wanted to remind you that you had acquired a valuable guide who helped lead us to the mountain. That was Big Dawn, the Eagle, who I am sorry to say did unfortunately die in their first round of combat after they rolled a one and immediately got one shot by an Orc. I also want to extend an apology. I watched the footage. I feel like I was gloating a little bit and having too much fun with that, but it was an epic way for Big Dawn, the Eagle, to go down. And who knows, you might be able to acquire some new animal companions in your adventure today. And just a reminder, you still have the ability to shapeshift into different animal forms, your most important Druid ability. That'd be a ram. Absolutely. And of course, Eerlik, lest we forget, it was you who delivered the final fireball that killed off the remaining orcs that we were fighting and revealed that the key had been picked up by the old Orc chieftan who had not wanted to give it to the big dumb ogre who is currently sleeping with the stepsister.

And you had caught, thanks to some inspiration from Wayne, the We went over, we opened up the vault that held the valuable magic weapons in gold, including the mighty ax of the Dwarven blacksmith, Durgeton, only to find the vault was completely empty. Instead, what we found was the empty vault and a secret door that had been dug up into the vault with a staircase that goes downward to level two of the Forge of Fury. And whoever dug that tunnel clearly has taken the treasure we came here for to lay claim to. Just a reminder, also, everyone here is looking for the ax, but for very, very different reasons. Some of us can wield it. Some of us want to destroy the ax in order to harvest its power. But We have not yet decided who's going to get the ax at the end of the day. So that's what we're looking for. We know there's a staircase leading down deeper into the dungeon where these thives, not that it was our ax, really, but they took it first that we need to reclaim the treasure from.

That's our end goal? Not related to any of that. If someone were to acquire this ax, is it like an immunity ax? You can't die if you have it?

It's not really an immunity ax, though it does give you immense power for defeating people who might try to take the ax from you. I established that both A Paladin, a barbarian, can wield the ax. Our Dwarven Bard, also being a dwarf, can wield the ax, whereas you are maybe looking to take the ax, destroy it, harvest its power, and gain the power of a hundred souls, which would be very helpful for defeating anyone is trying to kill you. I don't know, a shredder or something like that.

If any of us find the ax, we share it amongst all ourselves. Definitely. All the shredders. We're like pizza, like a piece of pizza.

100%, Max. I feel like your Druid circle wants to get this ax.

We're trying to get the ax, but surely it'll be very dangerous to get there.

I would say that we don't know exactly who took this ax, but they clearly brought it deeper into the dungeon where things get a lot more dangerous for certain. And speaking of danger, I will also I also say that when we notice that the sound has died down from the ogre's bedroom, and we might even check in to see what's going on in there, the ogre and your stepsister are completely missing. We do not see them anywhere. It's as though someone has maybe kidnapped your stepsister, perhaps. It is unclear what has happened to them. You notice a blood stain, you look under the bed. The ogre's dead. Someone cut the ogre's throat. And there are signs that there is some a struggle here. Your sister appears to be missing.

I got a question. So someone cut the ogre's throat? Yes. Does anyone here have a sword?

I don't seem to.

This sounds like gone, girl. I've got a crossbow.

No, I'm saying physically.

Are you holding a sword? I was getting the key.

Oh, you have a sword?

Where were you getting the key from?

I got an alibi. Okay. I was up in the vault.

Why is there blood on your sword?

There's not. Okay. I will also say that as we're pondering these staircase downward deeper into the dungeon, there is another character showing up. We had left a few orcs alive. There had been a shaman, a blood shaman who was no longer a threat or anything. But one orc opens up the door to where all the dead orcs in the barracks are that you had cooked with your fireball. And this individual immediately starts talking really loudly. They seem a particularly weak and flimsy Orc that we could defeat easily. But he starts loudly saying, Oh, what smells in here? There's some... The hamburgers? And he smells the bodies. No, not them. And he starts walking over to us. This The work just popped out of nowhere and he starts sniffing us. It's not hamburgers I smell. And he starts to smell norm in particular. At this point, anybody can attack this guy, but he's acting like we're not going to do anything to him. And he sniffs He says, It's not hamburgers at all. I'm smelling sliders. My name's Poopy Stinks.

Oh, no.

But I'm also part troll. And see, I can just smell sliders from pretty far away. I can smell the gods are favoring you all right now. You're using sliders right now. The gods are making things pretty easy for you. I can tell. Watch, the shaman taught me some blood magic. He takes a little needle and hits his palm, drips a drop of blood onto the wall, and all of a sudden, his blood starts to move around riding on the wall. It says in clear common tongue, player strength high. And then underneath it, the word forms monster strength, low. And he points and says, You guys are using sliders right now. All the other people doing this adventure have been playing it hard mode. Do you want to play it hard or easy mode?

Is the audience going to know if we choose to play it easy mode?

If we do it before we start the stream, they won't.

Okay.

So we don't like sliders?

In theory, he's ready- We love sliders.

We love sliders. We just like to change them before people can see.

We just don't want people to know that we're doing sliders. I want to play hard mode. You got to play hard teams. You got to play hard teams to win.

You touch where it says enemy difficulty easy, and immediately it's the slider starts to move over, and now it is set to hard.

Can we all act surprised that we didn't know it was on low?

Absolutely. 100 %. Absolutely, yes.

To be the man, you got to beat the man.

Absolutely. And you feel like the mountain Shutter just a little bit. And he says, All right, now you're playing without sliders. Well done, well done. I want to watch. And Poopy Stinks is going to be following us, it seems, deeper into the mountain, and maybe occasionally He's originally insulting our performance or something like that. But at this point, to see what order we are going to be going in today, I'm going to ask everybody to roll their D20, the 20-sided die, and I'm going to be adding your dexterity bonuses to see what order our characters are going to go in. Okay. 17. 17. Eerlik, you have a plus two on this, so that's a 19 total for Eerlik. Two. Two? Okay. Hey, we're on the same team, bro. You don't have advantage on this yet. Unfortunately, two plus one is just going to be a three for Norm. I got a 15. 15, and you have a plus three on this, I believe, actually. You said 16? 15. So that is now an 18 for Wayne. Excellent. 17. 17, and you have a plus zero on this, I believe. So with a 17, you'll be going right after Wayne.

And that is Greg and Hippo Maximus. 10. 10 for Hippo maximus. That's a plus one. So you got an 11 total Hippo maximus. So, Eerlik, you are actually going to be going first today.

Very good.

Our leader.

Just walk out in front of us, sir. We'll catch100%.

Leader of the turtles, 100%.

All right, Hank, your last turn.

Make it count. Absolutely. There is a staircase leading down deeper into the mountain, and you can even make out dusty footprints that seem to indicate the thief did go up and down these stairs. It's also an annoying orc/troll named Poopy Stings Around, and that's about all we're dealing with so far. What would you like to do?

Can I disguise myself?

You certainly could. In fact, when we last saw you on our last adventure, you had been disguised as the Orc Archer who fell off the cliff when Wayne had been tantalizing him along with a mixture of money and his stepsister as bait. You have definitely already been an Orc disguised. You can use another spell slot to switch to another disguise. I'd like to do that. What do you want to change into?

Let's go with shredder. Absolutely.

100%. A shredder suddenly appears where you had been standing, Eerlik. It's Shredder looks massive and scary. You're a gnome. This is like you're inside of a big tent. It's moving around with you, but this illusion is much bigger than you. You now look like Shredder, 100%. Big, scary Ninja Lord. Waustome time. Absolutely, 100%.

Hank, don't use the hard R if you're going to say Shredder.

Yeah, you're not allowed. It's their word, actually. You certainly use your action to cast disguise. I would even say maybe that's your bonus action. Was there anything else you want to do on your turn? Currently, we are just all Shredders. No one could, I suppose, tell who is what shredder, as it were.

Five shredders. Who could have seen us here?

It's incredible. You could certainly look down the stairs, try to scout around, see what you can see. You could head down the stairs either sneakily or in an obvious way and check out what's going on down there. Or you could...

Could I do a burning hands, launch a cone of fire ahead of me?

You certainly could. However, the burning hands only goes about 15 feet. When you look down the stairs, you don't see anybody within 15 feet, though there could be somebody who's invisible or something like that. It's totally up to you.

All right, so I'll just scout then. Absolutely.

That would be a perception check. You want to roll a D20 plus your perception skill bonus, if you have a perception skill bonus. I don't think you do. So your wisdom modifier would just be a plus one here.

19.

19 plus one is a dirty 20, we would say. And so with the dirty 20, you are immediately noticing, what is at the bottom of these stairs? They go about 20 feet down and they open into an octagonal room. The stairs are heading down to the north. And then once you get to the bottom of the stairs, you can tell that straight ahead against the northern wall is a big Dwarven statue holding two axes up in the air. He's armored in a way that looks a little bit like a a lord, maybe like a shredder, possibly. And then on the Eastern side is another Dwarven statue with a big ax. On the Western side, a third Dwarven statue with a big ax. In between each statue, there is a pair of doors. So W Double doors on the Northwest and double doors on the Northeast. Two sets of double doors with three statues interspersed between them. However, with a 20, you can tell one important detail. These doors are sealed and trapped in such a way that the statues have hinges on their elbows and shoulders. These axes will come down upon you if you try to open these doors.

So you know that before you even head down the stairs. These are two sets of trapped doors right now. Did you want to go try anything down there?

No, I think I'd like to keep that to myself and then Maybe one of them will try and open one of the doors.

Thank you for letting me know that. None of us know the information I just said. And, Eerlik, great turn. Wayne, that is now your turn. What would you like to do?

Okay, I'm not allowed to know about the statues, right?

You don't know about the statues yet. He hasn't said anything to you.

Okay, but I'm thinking that if we go down these steps, I'm interested to know what's in that room because it might be where we can find the ax. It's probably in there. It's probably in some interest. Absolutely. You like that? I'm going to down these steps.

100 %. Go ahead and roll. Well, you don't have to roll anything to go down the steps. You get down the steps, you can immediately see three Dorvan statues. You can see the doors. Just don't know anything else about them. Got it. Would you like to examine them?

I would like to. I get the feeling like one of these statues might have an arm or maybe the head tips back and it opens up one of the doors. Like an old school trap door. Maybe a speakeasy on the other side.

Absolutely.

Dude, perfect candy room.

Yeah. Can I go up to all the statues and just move their heads around?

100%. Roll me a D20 plus your investigation skill. Do you have the investigation skill under skills by any chance?

I use a skill. I have perception.

Perception is what you can use then in that case. That's going to be better than whatever your investigation would have been.

But I also have sleight of hand. Can I use my hands to make it look?

I'd allow that 100 %, yes, definitely. All right. 7. 7. Plus 5. Plus 5 with a 12. You are trying to wiggle these statues. It's not working really right now, though. There's something about the arms that might move. I would let you try again if you want, but then if you don't succeed, you might be risking stuff. You could try to really push these statues and take a risk on it.

I don't think anything bad can happen.

No. Holy. Okay, I'll try again. Absolutely. Try one more time. Roll again. Eighteen. Eighteen plus five. Nice. Here's the thing. At the very last minute, as you're really trying to push the arm and all of a sudden it starts to shift, you're like, Wait, wait, it's going to drop the ax on me. You don't do that. And instead, you get to the top of the statue. And I like what you said about the head. So I'm going to say the trigger for this secret door that you just discovered was shifting the head. As soon as you tilt the head, the Eastern wall behind the Eastern statue starts to slide open. It was a secret door. But not to speak easy, it seems like there's another staircase now going going down to the east that opens up into a big dwarf hall. Kind of think Moria, where the pillars seem to be disappearing into the distance. You can tell that there is a big room down these stairs, and you did not set off any traps, Congratulations. Nice. Now, that was your action. As a bonus action, would you like to inspire any of your teammates?

Yeah, I'd love to inspire my teammates.

Who's up next? In theory, it would be Greg.

Yeah, I'll inspire Greg. Absolutely. Let's talk Greg up. Gas up the boy.

Absolutely. What do you say to gas him up?

I I scream down the hall, my boy over there thinks you're cute, and I point at Greg.

You shout that down the stairs? Is that right? Yeah. Okay, 100%. You shout that, and Greg, you know whoever's down there, they're at the very least going to think that you're probably cute. Greg, that's going to bring us to you next week. What about the husband? Is the husband upset about this? Is Greg's husband? You do notice that your husband, the high priest Horngram, I'm going to roll to see how upset he is. The higher I roll, the more he heard that.

You don't want a Craig husband.

Do you want him to be upset? Don't make him a little jealous.

He seems like he puts the little horn up to his ear to try to hear what's going on. He didn't hear that at all. He never listened. He also healed all of us for our wounds. He is a healer. So we're all good. We're all at full hip point. So your husband touched us, please.

Yeah, okay.

He laid his hands about.

Sun situation.

Yeah. You have the best touching husband.

I want a gay divorce.

100%, absolutely. I do feel like he is agreeing that your whole Soernal Ernie was accidental, but entirely legally binding. So he's like, it's unfortunately a multi-month process to go through Dorvin divorce court. So it's going to take a while, but we can get the process started. And he looks down a little sad. If you If that's what you want.

Do I have some like, braces on my hands, gloves?

Yeah, I would say so. Probably, spikes on them. Do they fit?

I want to kill my partner.

Oh my gosh. You absolutely can. If you want to do that, he is looking rather sad and heartbroken, and you have a sword that you could slay him with right now. You also have a lance. You could-I want a lance. Lance Basie. Absolutely, 100%. You told him you wanted divorce.

I've been lance and my husband.

He's pretty upset about it. Do you get on your moth to charge him with the lance?

I feel like that's only right.

Absolutely. Do you let him see it coming? No. Or do you just... You're giving him a mercy killing from behind. Roll a total of three times. You get one advantage because you're on your moth's back. You get another advantage because you're He's compriasing him, and I'll be honest, he doesn't see it coming. So roll a D20 three times and take the highest result.

Did you pick a name for the moth yet, nick? It is a Little Shredder.

The Little Shredder. Eight. Eight so far. Unfortunately, that might not be enough. Twenty. Twenty. You can stop rolling. No better number better than that. So I don't even need a dice roll for this. Even without smiting him, that is an insta kill on high priest Horngrim. You are now a widower. What a hundred %. Absolutely. And that wittles down on our list of NPCs pretty nicely. Love it. Excellent. You've still got Little Shredder the Moth. And lest I forget, I also want to remind Norm the Barbarian, you have Magnus Steelto, a dwarf who came from the bar to hang out with you. He has it really... He escorted us in the mountain, and now he's just having a good time drinking. And I also just want to remind you because you may need to remember this, Eerlik, you do have an imp. Last time, I forgot about your imp Lola. Lola may be the difference between life and death for you today, so just a reminder. But Greg, your husband is now dead. What would you like to do with the rest of your turn?

Can I investigate the corpse that was left under the bed?

Oh, yes, you certainly could. Please roll for me either an insight skill check or perception Whichever skill you have. Do you have either of those? I have neither. Okay, then you would have a plus one from wisdom for investigating the crime scene here, as it were. Okay, so do I need to roll anything? Just roll a D20, and you're adding plus one because you don't have either of those skills. Just wisdom.

Thirteen plus one.

Thirteen plus one is a 14. You're going to get one clue about this crime scene. What is the thing you want to know the most here?

What direction the killer escaped from?

Oh, interesting. You are now noticing that somehow, maybe while we were resting and getting healed by your late husband, you are noticing someone must have snuck out of the room and gone down the very stairs that we are now going down. So they're down here ahead of us. Whoever killed Great Ulf and took the Step Sister. It's really good stuff. Well done, Greg.

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That is going to bring us to Hippo Max. Sorry for your loss. Next. I'm also sorry for your loss.

Yeah, tragic.

Thank you.

I'm going to want to check down those steps.

100% you can. We've revealed the secret door. That was the big test in the first room. Now you can see down the stairs, it opens up into some multi-pillar big Dwarven hall. But from the top of the stairs, we can't see the whole room. You could go down the stairs, you can make a perception check from the top of the stairs. You can do whatever you want.

I want to go right down those stairs.

Are you going in human form or turning into an animal first? You might want to see what's down there before you turn into an animal.

Yeah, I would like to stay in human form for now.

That makes complete sense. So you start to go down the stairs. Good call.

If I had to choose a bit.

It's a little early in the day to start animal morphing.

Absolutely. Now, I'll say that-I mean, if you morph into something else already, how can you be trusted?

It's not even noon yet, Max.

Then try and fit in with the rest of the crowd.

Yeah, that's true. Absolutely. Now, this is an area where because we picked a different difficulty, the AWOs who have played this adventure would be expecting you to see something. When you get down to the bottom of the stairs, you see a Dwarven hall with six pillars. There's a A bunch of doors leading out of here. To the left, there's two doors on the northern wall. To the right, there's two doors on the southern wall. And then straight ahead on the Eastern wall is a throne, a big Dwarven throne with a door behind that. Five different doors to pick from. And there's a bunch of beds in the middle of the floor, sleeping bags around a campfire, like somebody has been hunkering down in here and using this as a base of operations, but you don't see anybody in this room, though when you listen, you think you hear someone, but you don't see them. What would you like to do?

Is there anything that I could roll to try and get more wisdom of where they could be?

Absolutely. That would be a perception check. Do you have the perception skill by any chance?

I do not have the perception skill.

Then you would have a plus three from your wisdom because you are a very wise character as a drew.

I'm rolling a D20?

D20 plus three. Okay. Okay. That would be a 16. 16 plus 3 is a 19. Here's the first thing I'm going to tell you. You understand what's going on here. There are people in the room with you. They are using magical invisibility, you think. I'm going to ask for you to roll a knowledge check for me. You also know there are at least two, maybe three, maybe more individuals in this room. Giving very Footclan vibes, I would say. Very sneaky, very invisible.

It seems like a Harry Potter situation.

Absolutely, very much. Roll me a D20 plus your nature skill. If you can roll really well on this, you might have a clue as to who or what these people might be. Four. Unfortunately, all you know for sure is you think you hear the clanking of armor. Like, whoever they are, they're not terribly sneaky, but they are invisible. You can hear them in heavy armor, though, slowly trying to maneuver like they might be trying to surround you right now. You still have your action to either cast a spell or do an attack. The problem is you don't see anybody right now.

Could I now shape into something else?

You certainly could, yes. That would be the final thing you get to do, but you can turn into an animal if you want. I've put some sample animals down there, but really can turn into whatever animal you want. You got to defend yourself.

Something with a shell.

If I could. Are you something with nightvision? Yeah. Like an owl?

Can I be a snapping turtle?

You could be. Yes, 100%. You could turn into a giant snapping turtle. That would be the size of a human, if not a little bit bigger with a big spiky shell and a pretty powerful bite attack, I would say as well. I'm finally going to think about snapping turtle. You turn to a big turtle, you're looking around, not like, Where are they? Where are they? And you even hear somebody wisp like, Oh, shit, under their breath as they see you change into this terrifying animal. Going to put snapping turtle down here so I remember. Best of all, if you take any damage in this form, you lose the turtle hit points. But if you get knocked out of turtle form, if you go down to zero hit points in turtle form, you just turn right back into a human drewer. Back to shredder? Back into shredder, 100 %.

Mythe true self.

However, Max is making me very angry right now looking at him.

Yeah, no, it's okay.

Something about how you look, this makes me want to kill you.

There's something about snapping turtles.

Absolutely. Now, at this Point. Actually, no, not yet. Something else is going to happen first. Magnus Steel toe, your good Dwarven friend, is by our side right now. Would you like to send him down or would you like to hold him back or have him do something else? He's ready to start heading down the stair.

I'm with all the guys right now. You are. Yeah, send him down.

Absolutely. He goes rushing down, and it is right after he comes rushing down that all of a sudden from behind one of the pillars, a crossbow bolt comes flying out right at Magnus, I am going to say. This is an attack against him. It actually just barely misses Magnus, luckily. Magnus come back. Absolutely. And we see whoever fired that is now visible. We see what looks like a giant-sized dwarf of some kind with gray skin and white hair who disappears behind the pillar, but only because he's hiding behind it now. You know he was invisible. He is no longer invisible. Actually, because he was Invisible. I need to roll a second time to see if he hits Magnus. No, he still doesn't hit Magnus, luckily. Then suddenly, behind you, an ax comes down upon your shell, again with advantage because he's invisible, and you see that, no, just barely a miss against you because you have a turtle shell. It is just barely deflecting off your shell. A big dwarf in armor. Again, gray skin, white hair, And he tries to retreat away from you. The moment he does, you get a free attack against him, Hippo maximus.

You can roll me a D20 plus five. You can snap at this guy.

There's something about turtles that are just such a point of attack here.

12. 12 plus you're snapping turtle form would have a plus five. That is just barely a hit against this guy. Well done. You needed a 16 or higher. So roll 2D6, the cube-shaped die. Add them up and add plus four. Okay. And this will be the guy with the ax. A five. Okay.

And then the next one will be a four.

A four. And a five is nine, plus another four is going to be 13. You can tell this guy with the ax continues retreating. He's not quite halfway dead yet. And this guy looks pretty tough. Anyone who's looking at these two gray-skin dowerves can immediately roll a D20. If you roll well enough, you might know who it is we are fighting right now. I roll? Are we all looking at? Everybody can. 100%. Everybody who is down there right now, which I would say at this point, is everybody. I got a four. Absolutely.

I got a two again.

I roll a one.

Boys, I got a three.

Three, damn. Oh, my God. Absolutely. Max, you try. I'm also going. You also can try. The problem is you can't communicate because you're in turtle form. Turtle power. Turtle power. Turtle power. Turtle power.

That's a problem. That would be a six.

6 is not enough still.

I think it was combined. All of our numbers are not enough.

You wanted us to roll a D20?

A D20, yes.

Oh, I was rolling a D.

No, sorry, not the D6. Oh, come on. That would be the great roll then on the D6. I know, that's what I thought. You want to roll 1 D20 to see if you're... And you add a plus 2 for your nature skill as well for this. 7. 7. I'm sorry to say, no one knows. These seem like they are evil doors. They have gray skin, white hair, and their eyes are really creepy. No pupils or irises. Pure white. Fight. And as they are fighting us, they look like they are vicious and much larger than a dwarf should be. At this point, Norm, if you could just roll for Magnus as well, since he's not dead, he might know what's going on here. Two again. Two again. Three twos. Actually, he has advantage on this because he's a dwarf. Of course he does. Wayne, you can roll a second time as well because you're also a dwarf. Twelve. Twelve. He might know something about this. Okay. And then Wayne, let's see if you also know.

That's a leaner.

Yeah, cockedCocked Eye. Absolutely. Roll again, 100%.

Is that what I think it is? Or is that cocked again? I think it's cocked. I think I double cocked.

I double cocked. Okay, fair enough. That's a 4. Okay. I'll say it. It was almost a 20. We get the name from Magnus Steelto. I'll just say Horngrim might have known the exact answer to this automatically. But he knows that there are different types of dowerves. There are mountain elves, there are hill elves, and then there are what is known as the deep swarves, the Dwaygar. They are evil dowerves who, instead of delving down to the Earth, come up from the deepest levels of the Underdark and make war upon their surface, Bretern, the good dowerves who live on the surface. The Dwaygar must have come creeping up from below, burrowed their way into the vault, and it is very likely that they are the ones who have stolen the treasure that we are looking for Or Dwaygar would love to get their hands on things like axes and magic weapons created by their surface bretern. And so we know we are fighting some evil dowerves who have the ability to magically enlarge themselves and turn invisible. And so that was Magnus Stealto and then the Dwaygar on their turn. Horngrim is out of initiative.

So Poopy Stinks: The Orc starts going, Oh, you guys, you got to start killing them. Do better, do better. And Norm, we are up to you What would you like to do?

You know me, Tim. Norm, the Barbarian, AKA Shredder 4. I got blood lust.

I want to kill 100%.

You're thinking what I'm thinking? Who do you want to kill?

I want to kill Poopy Stings. We got to go back to easy.

Absolutely.

Let's kill Poopy Stings and we'll go sliders back to easy.

Absolutely. Fuck this guy. 100%. You immediately ready You go, Yeah, get them, get them. Before he even realizes what you're doing, you're already pivoting in midair and going to hack into poopy stinks. Go ahead and... You already have advantage. You get to roll the D20 two times because you're surprising him. But let me ask, are you also going reckless? I'm going reckless. Then you can roll three times on this attack. 14. 14, absolutely. 16. 16 is great, 100 %. 15. 15. With the 16, and I think you have a plus seven on your attack, that's a 23. And Poopy Stinks goes, No, my armor is higher, too, because you set the difficulty to... And it's still enough to hit him. Well done. You are hitting him, but I know how many of the points he has currently. Go ahead and roll 2D6 plus 6 damage, assuming, of course, you are raging right now. That is the D6. Bingo. You want to roll that two times and add 6 to the total. One. That's bad. Oh, that's not great. That's bad. 7 damage so far. Four. Four. Four. That's 11 damage total. At this difficulty, Poopy Stinks had 10 HP.

He is just barely slain with your first attack. Well done. Immediately, I will let you touch the blood stain and move the slideer.

We're going back to easy, boys. We don't have poopy stinks to get off our ass anymore.

You can now tell the Dwaygar with the ax is halfway dead now, everybody. Congratulations The hit point bar just went down. Well done. Suck my dick, poopy things. Absolutely. Nothing more satisfying than getting to kill people that we can't normally kill over the internet. Norm, that was only your first attack. You still have one more attack. Who would you like to deliver it to? There's one Dwaygar who is now, thanks to you, halfway dead.

All right, I got to kill Dwaygar, right?

You can also see a full-strength Dwaygar pointing a crossbow at us. You can go after either one. You'll easily probably be able to kill the one who has-Let's take the crossbow guy because then you guys can clean up.

Because there's one Dwaygar full-strength crossbow, one Dwaygar half-strength. Correct. Let's go for the full strength.

He's ready to shoot?

Which one is-He's not ready to shoot yet, but he's going on his next turn. Which one is stronger? Do we know? Currently, the one with the crossbow. I like hostage.

Yeah, hostage.

Can we get the half-day guy?

Half-day guy?

Do we kill the crossbow guy first?

Yeah, and then take the weak one.

Or do we kill the weak one and and convince the other guy be like, Look, we'll do that to you.

Kill the strong one, convince the weak one.

If you kill their allies, it usually makes them easier to surrender. Like Pokémon, they're easier to catch if they're a little weak.

Okay, so let's kill the strong one. Absolutely. Before I do that, though, can I just... I got a friend who's had a tough go of it. Can I just lightly kiss Greg on the lips?

You certainly can as you run down the stairs.

He misses his gay husband.

100 %. You'll be running right by him to get to the Dwaygar. So just a quick bonus. I'll say as part of your raging bonus action.

What do I roll if I get hard?

Roll me a D20. If you get a 20. Four. Four. No, you're pretty soft, actually. It's pretty good on the finish.

This usually doesn't happen to you.

It'll happen. My husband just died.

You can tell me if you feel like you should be rolling a second time. If there's double the chance, you might have advantage on this, as it were, and you might roll again. That's up to you to decide. If you think your character would like it, then you have to roll again. I'm sorry to say.

Just give you 10 minutes.

Absolutely. It always worked. Eight. Eight. Not as soft as you were before, but it's like half chup. It's a good kiss, though. Solid kiss. You can run to the crossbow Dwegar at the other side of the room. Norm, the moment you do, suddenly, as you are crossing the distance to get into Mele with him, another invisible Dwegar tries to plant a pair of axes into your back as you run past the pillar that he was hiding behind.

I'm sorry to say he is going to hit you with the first one.

Actually, he gets another roll because you're going reckless right now. No, okay, didn't crit. But he hits you with the first one, and then the second one is going to be another hit. I am sorry to say that's two separate hits with two separate hand axes. And he is going to get for the first hand ax a total of, looks like it's going to be five plus three, eight damage. I can handle that. You're raging. You don't take eight damage. You take four damage from the first attack. The second attack would have been 11, gets half down to five. So you took nine damage in all. You still have 50 HP left out of your 59 right You're fine. I'm fine. But partially because of the slide. So you are absolutely able to either turn back on this guy and attack him or go for the full strength guy with the crossbow. But now you know there's two Dwaygar with full strength, not just one.

I'm going to turn back on the guy? Okay. He just hit me.

You got to defend yourself. Yeah. Otherwise, they're all going to think you're a bitch.

Yeah, all right. I'm going to turn around and fuck this guy up.

Absolutely. Go ahead and roll with your reckless attack two times and take the higher number.

17.

17 is That's a hit already, but let's see if you crit. 19. I mean, even better. You are definitely hitting him for 2D6 plus 6 damage with your great sword. Four. Four. 2. 2. 2. 6 plus 6 is 12 damage on the Dwegar with his double hand axes. He's very much like a Dwegar ranger, you think, with double hand axes and his cloak thrown up like he's an extra sneaky Dwegar. He actually a little less hip points than the others. 12 is halfway dead for him. Well done.

We got two half dead Dwegars.

Exactly right. 100 %. Well done on your turn, Norm. That's both of the attacks that you get. And then, Erlik, that is going to bring us back around to the top of initiative with you. At some point, the Dwaygar are going to go. We actually got a lot of us in a row before they get a chance to.

And does Lola get to attack as well? Yes.

Thank you for remembering that 100 %. Lola absolutely gets to attack. Lola also is the person here who definitely has the invisibility spell. She, I'm going to assume, is invisible right now at the beginning of combat, and so she'll have advantage on stinging anybody that she can see. But unfortunately, being invisible does not mean you can see other invisible people.

Also, it says here it can shapeshift. It can shapeshift into a raven, spider, or rat. I think we're both the rat.

She's in rat form right now then. She can be invisible in rat form. Are you master? Are you master? I hate that, dude.

I fucking hate Master Splinter. Absolutely. You don't know who Master Splinter is. Yeah, I do. Oh, you do?

What am I doing? If you're going to have her go attack, who do you want her to attack? The guy with the hand axes, the guy with the big ax, or the guy with the crossCrossbow. Crossbow. Absolutely, 100%. You're going for the guy, full strength with the crossbow. Roll me, since she's invisible in rat form, roll me with advantage a D20 two times and take the higher number.

That'd be one.

Oh, okay. Good thing she's invisible. Eighteen. Eighteen. There you go. She has a plus five to hit. With the 23, you're hitting the guy with the crossbow. Four, one D four plus three damage with a stinger, a a herpes stinger? Then I'm going to say he's coming out of the rat tail for sure. So it'd be the D four. It is the pyramid-shaped die. You're looking for the number on top. I'm sorry to say with a plus three, that's four damage against him so far, but But then the poison kicks in. I would like you to please roll for me 3D6s in all and add them up. That's a lot of poison damage. That's three. Three.

Give me six.

Three. Okay, six of four. One, four. Four. Okay, so 10 damage. Unfortunately, Dwaygar being Dwarves, Dwarves in our group would know, they have advantage on saving throws against the poison, so they're going to try to shake it off. First is not a success, but let's try the second roll. That is enough to succeed. They're taking half that damage, so five. And then Dwaygar or Dwarves who take half damage from Poison also. So it drops down to just two damage instead, I am sorry to say. So that Dwaygar with the crossbow took six points of damage. They're not halfway dead just yet. But that was only Lola's turn. Lola is now visible, and you can tell that this guy is reaching for a hammer on his back to try to hit Lola and dropping his crossbow. Do you want to do anything to him?

Yeah, I'd like to Eldrish Blast.

Absolutely. Eldrich Blast is a huge move for you. That's two attacks. Do you want to aim them both at this guy with the crossbow?

Yeah, I can't let him take out Lola. Absolutely.

Roll me 1D20 plus 6, I believe. 8? 8 plus 6, I'm sorry to say, is not a hit against this guy. Just barely a miss by two points. Now, to be fair, you have an ability that could save you here. You have something called Dark One's blessing. You get to add a D10 to one roll. But once you do it, it's used up for the whole day. All right, I'll save it. You save it. You get another blast. Roll that other blast now. D20 plus 6.

Come on.

18. 18 plus 6 is a solid hit. Go ahead and roll for the damage. 1d10. That's this weird-shaped one right here. D10 plus 3. Bingo. 2. 2 plus 3 is five more damage. Brings the one with the crossbow up to 11 damage. That is just a few points shy of being halfway dead for the one with the crossbow. But so far, so Good. You piled up some damage on that one, Dwaygar. Well done. And, Erlik, anything else you wanted to do on your turn? Commanding Lola was the bonus action. You could move a little bit and open up a door if you wanted to, but I don't know if now is the right time for that.

Yeah, I I think we're good.

Absolutely, 100%.

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Then Wayne, that is going to bring us to you. Yeah, great work. Next, what would you like to do?

Okay, so I can do my level three?

You Ben, absolutely. Those are your most powerful spells. Now, you each really only get one of those per day.

Okay, that's fine. I would like to hypnotize all the invisible enemies in the room.

Oh, With the exception of the one who is halfway damaged that we want to take hostage. I will point out that your hypnotic pattern ability is a great way to take a prisoner because it won't kill anybody. It'll just hypnotize them, and then you can decide, do you kill them while they're hypnotized or do you chain them Then I would like to hypnotize everybody. Everybody in the room, 100%. Are you trying to avoid all of your teammates or are you not minding if you catch?

Yeah, I'd like to avoid all the shredders if I could.

All the shredders. Thank God we all look like shredders. Anybody else? Oh, yeah. All the With all the natural born shredders.

Well, you can't tell.

Absolutely. It's a little hard to tell who's a shredder and who's not. Sure, if you look under the coin, you'd be able to. You want to make sure that you get maybe one of the shredders?

I would like to make sure that my hypnosex The hypnotization only works on all characters who at the start of this episode were not shredders.

Okay, 100%. I want to keep us safe. It does sound like maybe there is one person beside the Dwaygar getting caught. And so I will first roll for the Dwaygar with the ax. The Dwaygar with the ax who's halfway dead is failing the saving throw and ending up hypnotized. Well done, just barely. Then the one with the crossbow is not getting hypnotized, I am sorry to say. So right now we've got who's still loose, and that's the strongest one right now, and then the one with the hand axis who went for Norm. Good job, dude. Is also failing and getting hypnotized. So we've only got one who is not hypnotized currently. And then...

Can't defeat a stronger opponent.

Roll me a perception check to see if you're noticing anything here right now. Okay, which one is that? That would be a D20. D20. 18. 18. Plus whatever you are definitely noticing. There's one other invisible person in the room who did not get caught in the hypnosis because you heard them shifting around a little bit, almost like to avoid it a little bit. It was like breathing a sigh of relief that they did not get caught. By the way, what hypnotic pattern are you creating that they're now staring and drooling at right now?

Hypnotic is in what mood are they in?

I mean, hypnotic pattern is usually scintillating lights or some display that is making them stare at it like, so it'd be something that they really want to look at that they can't take their eyes off.

A great-Cate Upton cat daddy gif.

Great rack.

There's just these jugs floating in the air. Two of the... Apparently four Dwaygar in the room right now are just drooling a little bit. One of them is just rubbing his hands a little bit.

Is Greg looking at the rack?

Right now...

I'm just curious. I'm just curious if Greg's looking or not.

Greg, roll for me. You're not caught in the spell, but you might want to... Yeah, the higher you roll, the more likely it is you are.

What did you get, Greg?

I'm just curious. No, Greg.

I rolled a one. Oh, one?

I did say, I just said the higher you roll, the more likely you are, you are looking at it. So apparently you're not interested in these jugs whatsoever.

I don't care about the perfect round titties at all.

Nope, apparently not. Couldn't care less. Literally couldn't care less.

You're like Mr. Smithers with the dancers around him.

Wait, did they hurt me? I did not hurt you. Oh, God. No. Just roll 1D20. If you roll low, something happens here. 2. So with a 2, you blink. For you and only you, you realize, Oh, they're not boobs at all. It's just a pair of balls. I'm viewing the tit of the middle. Dancing around right now 100%, just juggling a little bit. You are 100% noticing this, but you're not hypnotized, I'm going to say, or maybe a little hypnotized. We'll see on your turn. However, it sounds like maybe one other person might be getting caught in this. Roll me a D20 just to make sure you got the right shredder. As long as you don't get a one, you're fine. I got a 10. You're fine, absolutely. I am going to need one wisdom saving throw, which I happen to know you're pretty good at. You have a plus five on this. Go ahead and roll me a D20 plus five, but you need a 14 or higher against Wayne's spells. How did you do? Cocked. 9. 9 plus 5 is a 14. Exactly. It is just barely enough that you are not hypnotized.

Thank God. Well done. I Absolutely.

That's good.

Wayne, that was your hypnotic pattern spell. You're now aware two of them are hypnotized. Apparently, two Dwaygar, one visible and one invisible in this room, are still loose. That will bring us... Did you want to inspire anybody else on your turn now with a bonus action.

Yeah, I'd like to inspire Norm.

Absolutely.

Norm put his shell on the line.

Norm put his shell on the line. What do you say to inspire him?

Norm, you're good. It's just you had to rub some dirt on it.

Get back out there. 100% With that inspiration, it is now Greg's turn. Greg, what would you like to do?

One of these Dwaygar is running away, right?

It does seem like two of them are hypnotized. The one with the crossbow looks a little scared and has this scorpion-tailed rat right next to them. Then there is one invisible, and we don't know what they're doing.

One's invisible. Yes.

It doesn't seem like any of them are running away just yet, but they're definitely rethinking their strategy here.

I'd like to spin in a circle with my long sword, please.

Oh, interesting. You're to hit multiple Dwegar, is that right?

Just because I can't see the invisible one.

Oh, interesting. Okay, I like that. Are you hoping to hit one of the visible Dwegar, or are you just going to try to spin?

I'm trying to weed out the invisible.

The invisible one, 100%. Then I'm going to let you roll First of all, a D20 to see how likely it is that you crash into them. 14. 14 is just enough that when you add your athletics bonus, I was looking for a 15 or higher, you are crashing into something. Now, roll me a D20, but two times and take the lower number. You have disadvantage because they're invisible to see whether your sword hits them or not. 7. 7? Roll one more time. Take the lower number. 18. 18. With the 7 plus your long sword, it says you have a plus what to hit? Plus 6. Plus 6. So seven plus 6, 13. I'm sorry to say you bumped into somebody, your sword cut into some armor, but it didn't hit whoever they are. However, you get two attacks per turn. So now you can roll again with disadvantage to try to hit this person. I do know where they are. You do know where they are. In fact, you don't have disadvantage anymore. I like that. Roll one time to hit them now.

What is that? That's a 13. Yeah. It looks like a 13.

It's a 13. Absolutely. 13 plus 7 is a Dirty 20. And that is going to be a Dirty 20. Well done. Now, with your sword, it says you have 1D8 plus 3 damage, I think. Is that right?

My long sword is 1D8 plus 3.

Absolutely. Now, that's what it would be if you don't smite. If you burn up one of your valuable smiting spells, it could be an extra 2D8. Or if you burn up a second level one, a very powerful one, that would be an extra 3d8. You could deal 4D8 plus 3 damage to whoever this is.

I'm holding off on smite.

You're holding off on smite 100%. It would just be 1d8 plus 3. That's all. Okay.

Is that... Which one is that?

Chris? The D8 would be this one right here. It looks like two bear mids stuck together. 7. 7. Absolutely. 7 plus 3 is going to be 10 damage. You hear a grunt from what sounds like a female, Dwaygar, as far as you can tell. I'm going to roll because since you hurt them, they might lose their invisibility spell if I get less than a 10 on this. Just one roll. They have a good bonus on this. The number they needed to get was a 10. They got a 6 plus three is only a nine. They become visible. And that is when you see a familiar face. Stepsister. It is a Dwaygar, but it seems as though it is the stepsister of Wayne, who, of course, was not related to him. And you are realizing now there are signs of makeup on her neck still, where she was wearing a disguise that would make her look like a surface dwarf. She has apparently been a Dwaygar this whole time. She was a traitor. She says, I knew I I would have left that stupid ogre alive and taken him with me. That's simple. But I have the treasure now, me and my friends.

And the other Dwaygar are like, Hey, we're not winning this fight right now. And she grabs the ax, and she is absolutely going to try to fight back against you. But it's not her turn just yet, Greg. Greg, amazing turn. That's an amazing turn. Sorry, Greg, also. I'm just trying to remember, do you remember what you got on that first attack that would have hit her? I'm trying to remember because I forgot you had Bardic Inspiration. You could have used Bardic Inspiration. It was a seven. It was low. It was a low. You're absolutely right. It wouldn't have been enough with the disadvantage. Got it. You still have Bardic Inspiration if you need it.

Did we try to fuck his His stepsister?

His stepsister did join the adventure. We used her as bait to lure out some orcs. I don't think any of us tried to fuck her. The question was whether Wayne would, but that was really hinging on whether she was a stepsister or a sister.

What's the rule on disclosing if she was Dwegar before we fucked her?

In theory, she kept that from us. That's on her a little bit. It is an issue, possibly. But the good news is she's definitely not biologically related to you now. You can confirm that for sure. And Hippo maximus in snapping turtle form. That would bring us to you next.

I mean, if you want to call Dib's on there.

I don't want to call it Dibs. We did establish she had very high charisma. She's a looker, your stepsister. Hell, yes. Still is, even if she has gray skin and white hair, it looks pretty good, and she's giant size now. So if Muscle Mommies are your thing, that's absolutely the status at the moment.

We share everything as shredders. We do.

Yeah, we do. We took it as an oath. Yeah, The Shredder Oat.

I forgot the shredder oath.

Everyone saved the shredder oath together now.

Okay, here we go.

We as shredders, we share our conquest, and always swear to To kill turtles.

To kill turtles.

Perfect. Shredder Oat. Do we all say that? Yeah.

All right. That's bad for Max, then.

No, I'm disguising myself as a turtle to know more about the species. Something that you wouldn't understand because you're not a shredder.

I am a shredder. No, I'm a shredder.

It's the opposite. You're disguising yourself to be a shredder, but you really only know the turtle ways.

You're not like us.

We do have a shredder who's a turtle and a turtle is a shredder. That's pretty wild. Yeah. Yeah. And Hibo maxim is your You and you know the Dwaygar are going to go right after your turn. Two of them are hypnotized. Shredet has taken 10 points of damage, but is not halfway dead yet. The Dwaygar with the crossbow is also not hypnotized and is almost halfway dead.

I'm getting real confused as to who I want to kill. Which one's the turtle? Which one's the shredder?

No, that's something that this shredder turned turtle understood when he took this form, but it was a journey that he chose to do to learn more about the enemy at hand, but that's behind me.

That sounds like something a turtle would say.

Do we have a head of lettuce on us to just test?

Well, we know Max wouldn't go after the lettuce.

Hippo maximus, come on.

One thing about you and lettuce, they don't go well together.

Is there any attack I could do to-I thought you were going to say dressing.

Can we put some bacon on it?

Also, Hugo Maximus, you do have two healing potions, I'm going to say that you've been given as a gift. It's the It's a good thing to heal. If you get injured or just on a long plane ride, you can drink your two healing potions. Yeah. Nice. Also good.

What would those potions do to my current form? Would they bring me back to-In theory, someone might bust you drinking them and start telling people about you drinking both healing potions.

But in theory, right now, you could just swallow them.

I would like to swallow those potions.

In theory, you don't need it yet because you haven't been injured yet.

It's perfectly normal to swallow those potions, even though other people might think that it's not.

100%. It's a long Dungeon Crawl. You could drink them now. You aren't injured yet, so they really wouldn't benefit you at the moment.

I still would like to drink them.

You certainly can. Absolutely. It's a long adventure. You drink your healing potions real quick. Chug them 100%, absolutely. You still got two Dwaygar fighting at the moment and two who are hypnotized. Just a warning, if their turn comes up, they can and might wake up their hypnotized teammates with an action. It needs up their whole action, but they could get their teammates up and running again.

If I fight these Dwaygars and they get hit points on me, will that take away from my turtle status?

Takes away from your turtle hit points, but not your Druid hit points.

They will stay the same. As much as I love to be a turtle, I'm willing to risk that for the betterment of the team and try and defeat these Dwaygars.

Absolutely. You're thinking of attacking them in turtle form?

Yes, I will be attacking them in turtle form and risking my turtle form.

Absolutely. Assuming that you are going after one of the Dwaygar who's still currently fighting, do you want to go after Shredet, or do you want to go after the one with the crossbow?

I would like to keep Shredet around.

Absolutely. We can learn some shit from her.

It seems almost like they're listening to her like she's giving them orders. Right. And so you can go for the one with the crossbow instead. That's one you might be able to take down with a single hit. Go ahead and roll me a D20 plus 5 to see if you can hit this Dwaygar. That would be 13? 14, plus 5 is 18. That is a hit against the Dwaygar. Well done. And you've got Lola, the rat, right next to you. Just a heads up. So two animals are currently fighting this Dwaygar with the crossbow. You can roll 2D6 plus 4 damage. The Dwaygar has 11 HP. Sorry. This Dwaygar has 14 HP left right now.

Can I lose hit points?

You cannot until they attack you on their turn. And to be fair, by being in Mele, now the one with the crossbow, can't easily get over to their teammates to wake them up. Well done.

So this is 2D6, you said?

Absolutely. 2d6 plus 4.

One six and a one.

A six and a one. So seven plus four is 11 more damage. Brings us to a grew up to 22. They have four hip points left. That is all. They are on their last legs. Well done. In theory, with your bonus action, you could change back if you're done with turtle form, but if you stay in turtle form, you keep those hit points.

No, I'm done with the turtle form. I've learned what I need to know about the turtle form.

Absolutely, 100%. You change back into Druid form. Is that right?

Is there any way that I can bring everyone back to what they originally were?

Unfortunately, not unless you have spell magic to end the sky itself.

Good to know. I just wanted to know.

Absolutely.

What did you learn from being a turtle?

I learned a lot about.

What about how they think?

Can we trust you? Yeah, no. It's a turtle, though. When you were a turtle, were you untrustworthy?

There's something about a turtle that they do things in a way that is just really annoying to others. I felt that annoyance within myself. So I had to get out of that.

You're like, talk down to you. Yeah.

They're also dumb, and they think that they're in on something when they're really not.

Interesting. Interesting.

Thank God, it's all shredders here.

Absolutely. Just a bunch of shredders. That is a great turn. You turn back into human form. Is that right?

Yeah, back in the shredder form.

Shredder form, of course.

That was just a bunch.

Five shredders. Absolutely. Five shredders hanging out. What a cliché. You are absolutely up to the Dwaygar's turn now. I'm going to roll in if I roll really high, thisduegar is feeling bold and brave enough to try to wake up one of his teammates. But if he does, that's two attacks of opportunity he's going to be provoking. He's not willing to risk it. He tries to decide, is he going to go after Lola or is he going to go after you? Lola. I'm so sorry, but instead of going after the turtle, this dwegar pulls out his hammer and tries to squish Lola. He needs a 13 or higher, and he's got a plus five on this. I'm sorry to say with a 17, Lola is getting Getting hit by this hammer. Lola does have 10 HP. You got to look after your pets. This hammer is going to deal this much plus four. Let's see. I rolled a natural one. With It'll be five damage, Lola still has half of her hit points. So Lola is at five out of 10. That is that Dwaygar's turn. Then Shredet is going to stand up. Now, the last person to attack her as you.

She looks at you, takes her hand in the air, and just you think she's going to do some magic. She does, but it's not to attack you. She starts to wave her hands in her face, and she begins to fade away and turn invisible again. She's trying to We turn invisible, and she points at the bodies on the ground and says, Hey, I know you guys are having a lot of fun right now, but I got to turn invisible. I'm so sorry right now. She does start to vanish before your very eyes, but you can feel her nearby. You feel her start to move away from you. You can take one free attack against her, but since she's invisible, you have disadvantage on this. You got to roll two times and take the lower number.

Is she not hypnotized?

She is not hypnotized, I'm sorry to say. Shredet had been invisible when you cast this spell. She was caught in it, but she passed the saving throw just barely. 18? 18. And then? 12. 12. Then you had a plus what with your long sword again? Plus three. Three. Sorry, that was 1d8 plus three, right? D8 plus What's the two hit? Plus 6. Plus 6. You just got a 12 on the D20. So plus 6, her armor class is 18. Was that the lower the two numbers? Was it 12? Absolutely. That is just barely a hit against her. So you get 1 D8 plus 3 unless you're smiting, in which case you get a lot more damage.

Are we trying to have her as host? This is your stepsister.

Shredet?

Yeah, we want to get her Shredet. Yeah.

Now, if you bring someone down That is your hip point, you can say you're dealing with not really.

That's a little shredder.

A little shredder. Okay, yeah.

Now I'm back. So wait, do you want me to smite your sister? Has she been bad?

Well, she took the ax, we think, right? Yeah.

We need to get secrets out of her.

I don't want to smite her. Let's not kill her. I don't want to risk killing her.

She knows a lot of secrets, guys. Absolutely.

No smite, please. You're not smiting her. Roll 1D8 plus 3. One. Four more damage on Shredet is going to bring her up to 14. You can't tell if she's halfway dead or not. Then again, you just dealt damage to her while she's invisible. Let's see if she maintains her invisibility. And her invisibility is broken. You can see her running behind the throne. She opens up the door behind the throne and tries to run through it. So you did get the free attack. She's no longer invisible, thanks to that attack. You can tell with 14 damage, she's very close to halfway dead, but not quite there. And she just disappeared through a door, unfortunately, but she couldn't have gotten very far beyond that door. We know it's the fifth door, the one to the east, just behind the throne that she just ran through. We can chase her no problem, but there's still one conscious Dwegar in the room with us, and she ditched the two who were hypnotized. Well done on the Dwaygar turn. We withstood them.

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Magnus Steeltoe now gets to go, and you can have him run up and just roll a D20 plus four.

Can he ask Shredet a question or no?

He could if she was still in the room. Unfortunately, she just ran for it. So right now, he's going to help us try to kill the Dwegar with the crossbow. That's what you want to do.

Okay. 9.

Absolutely. Unfortunately, he doesn't have advantage. So unfortunately, he clangs in his fighting with the Dwegar, who has his hammer out, who had the crossbow, but not hitting him, unfortunately. That's really cute. And Poopy Stinks is also dead now. That is going to bring us to you, Norm. Norm, what would you like to do? Shredet ran for it. There's two Dwaygar who are hypnotized and one who has four hit points left and a hammer and cross.

What do you guys think? Should we follow Shredet?

I would like to follow her, not kill her.

I really want to ask for debt. I know we've all met her, but did she know any of us before we met her? Yeah. Anyone in this room?

She's got the ax, right? We think she has the ax. Yeah, all right.

Let's follow- She claimed she did. She lies about a lot of stuff.

Let's follow her. Let's get everyone going, follow her and attack her again. We don't want to kill her, though. We want to get her as weak as possible.

We want to see where she's running to.

Can I kidnap her? I don't know. She certainly could.

Let's kidnap her. If you chase her, you run behind the big throne, kick that door open, and sure enough, it's a dead-end room. It looks like it's the war room of the ancient dowerves. There's a table with all these maps of the mountain on the table. That's good information for us. This is a map of the level we're on that has labeling on it in Dwarvish, which Wayne can speak. Standing on the table like a badass, Shredet is standing there with her awesome great sword pointed at you. She's nervous because she's no longer invisible, and she says, Bring it. And you can absolutely attack her if you want. It's hot. Since she's visible, you can aim to knock her out. Or you could just roll intimidation and try to get her to surrender, though you could do that after attacking if you want.

All right, so let's get her to surrender.

Do you want to attack her first and then see if she surrender? The more you injure her, the more likely she'll surrender.

Before I do that, we're all together, right? I would just like to just a little credit card swipe of Greg's asshole.

What100%. Can I roll for clench? Yes, 100%. The higher you roll, the tighter you clench.

It's an 18.

It's an 18. You barely get your card through it, to be honest. It gets a little stuck. You're like, Is this thing scanning? Is this one of those attachment. I think you do this and you realize you don't have a card in your hand anymore, and you got to fish it out.

Like a Chinese finger track.

That's right. It's really good.

That's really good. Because that's plus athletics. That's really a 23 at the end of the day.

It just keeps denying me and just wanted more.

I think you actually need to take a check if you want your credit card back. Greg knows exactly what he's doing.

The credit card was my fingers.

It was just your fingers.

They were stuck for a moment. But with your strength, you yank them free at the very last minute. They're swollen a little bit. Yeah, okay. All right.

All right. Yeah, let's fuck up Shredet.

Absolutely.

So we can kidnap her and get her secrets.

Can I assume you're going reckless? Oh, of course. Absolutely. You can roll two times on the first attack.

Who says no?

No, I don't think I'd like to go reckless.

Five, that's not good. Seven, that's not good.

Seven is not great. With a plus six to your attack, I think, or even a plus seven, it might be. Unfortunately, that is not going to be a hit. But you get two attacks, so you can roll again with advantage because you went reckless. Incidentally, Norm, all the Barbarian AWLs, when I run the game for them and I ask them whether they go reckless, they say, Just like Norm. You know it, Tim. Absolutely, they all want to be like Norm. You roll two times on the D20 again.

Eleven.

Four. Now, the eleven was the higher roll. Can I just ask you to check your sheet? It's a plus seven to hit. That means you got an 18, and 18 is the number you needed to hit Trident. Go ahead and roll two.

It's got to be 18.

A dirty 18. A dirty 18. A dirty 18.

A 2D 6s.

Absolutely. Plus six. Dirty 18. 5 and Five feet. Five and five is amazing. With 16 more damage, Shredet is up to 30 damage. One more attack will take her down for sure. She is way more than halfway dead. You think she has maybe five HP left, and you can take her down. Well done. But she's fighting with you. In fact, she's so injured now. If you want to use your bonus action to intimidate her into surrender, you would have advantage. Okay, let's intimidate her into surrender. Roll two times and dig the higher number.

Okay. Thirteen. 16.

I'm looking for a 20 or higher. What is your intimidation? It's plus one. Plus one. I am sorry to say it is not quite enough, unfortunately. But it's only because Shredet is a true badass. Any one of the other Dwaygar would have surrendered with that role. She is still fighting, and she's looking to see if she can run out around you. Good luck. She probably can't pull that off. Absolutely. And, Eerlik, this is going to bring us around to you again. What would you like to do?

So for Lola, I would like to take out the crossbow guy.

Absolutely. 100 %. He's got four HP left. Smart move. Go right ahead and try to sting him. 10. 10. 10 plus 5 is a 15. You'd be missing by a single point with that. I'm sorry to say. So close. So he's still hanging on right now. What would you like to do with your action?

I feel like there's going to be a lot of competition, so I would like to charm Shredet.

Absolutely. You can try to charm her. You cast Charm Person on Shredet. It works, and I get one saving throw. If I don't get a 14 or higher, and she has only a plus one on this, then she is charmed by you.

So let's see. You'd like to ask me if it was cool? Yeah.

It's the shredder code to never charm.

Everybody knows that shredder code.

Absolutely. Acting very on the oath.

I think that was in the oath.

The oath was, We as shredders promise to never charm another shredder's step-sister without permission. Permission. Mission from Shreddra. And also fuck turtles.

We say in the mirror every morning.

It's Article 2.

With a plus to a bonus, the total, and she needed a 14 to avoid being charmed. The total is a 13. She is charmed by you, Eerlik, just barely. And she starts to look at you with little hearts rising from her head in an admiring way. She's saying, I'll get my way past you, Barbarian. And then when I, Whoa, wait a minute, who's that shredder over there? For some reason, compared to all the other shredders, that one shredder, for some reason, is really good-looking. I don't know why. And she can't put her finger on it. Anytime you make a persuasion check on her, you now have advantage for the duration of the next hour, after which she will be like, What the fuck was happening to me? And she will start to realize that she was under a charm spell. But well done, Eerlik. Was there anything else you wanted to do on your turn? That was your accent.

Could I use the investigation skill to take a look at these maps?

You certainly could. Absolutely. I believe your character actually speaks Dwarvish. At the very least, Nomish is based off of Dwarvish. So go ahead and roll an investigation check. D20 plus investigation. Great bonus action there.

16 plus 5.

Absolutely. Just so you know, as you're looking at the maps, she was standing on the table. So you look at the maps and you see her feet, and she takes one step closer to you, and then another step, and you look up and you realize she's standing right above you and says, Well, hello there, handsome. What was your total on that again?

16. 16.

With the 16, you're going to learn two important facts. First of all, before you learn any of those facts, I'm going to tell you right now, it's clearly a map of the dungeon you're in right now. There's a map of the upper floor. There's also a map of this floor. Now you can tell there's labeling marked on this room. It says War Room, and it and says, Stepsister Shredet, he hangs out here. Nobody else is allowed in the War Room unless I give you permission. But there's ruins labeling the other four doors that we don't know about. Which door do you want to know about first? You're going to learn about two Two things in this period of time. You get to pick Northwest, Northeast, Southwest, or Southeast.

This is something that I'm only learning this information. They don't know that I know this, right? All right, so I'll go Northwest.

Northwest, first of all. Apparently, they have labeled in Dwarvish that this is an old Dwarven temple beyond the Northwestern door. She has written treasure? She's not sure if there's treasure, meaning that whatever treasure she has, it's not that treasure. But it also says on the door, a little arrow is pointing to the door into the temple. You did remember there were like runes on the door, but they were tiny and hard to read. It says riddle when it points to that door for some reason. There might be treasure. There's a riddle on the door, apparently, and it says old Dwarven temple. Then there's a symbol that just says danger inside of that temple. That's what you learn first. You've got northeast, southwest, and southeast. Let's go Southwest. Southwest. Southwest. Southwest is labeled Old Kitchen. Then it says Wizard, Old Dwarven Wizard, Animated Furniture, Danger. Hmm, weird. And that is all you have time to learn about so far right now, I will say. And that is Eerlik's bonus action. Well done, Eerlik. That is going to bring us to Wayne next. And none of us know that information just yet. Wayne, what would you like to too.

Currently, your sister's charmed, but still fighting us at the moment, unless... Sorry, did you ask the sister to not...

Where are you going? Where are you going?

Where are you going? I got to take a piss.

Do you tell the sister to stop fighting us, or do you tell her to keep fighting them? Keep fighting. Keep fighting. Absolutely. She's still fighting us. So is the Dwegar who had the crossbow. So you got two Dwegar who are still fighting us at the moment, Wayne.

Why would he do that? I thought he was with us.

We got to put our shredder masks on.

How bad does it sound? Surrounded by shredders, suddenly.

I thought he was a shredder.

I think we need a waterboard, Hank.

Why would he tell her to keep fighting us if he's one of us?

That doesn't make any sense.

She's going to know that he's not a shredder once they get together.

Last time he took a piss.

She gets the pants off. Once you go shredder, it's never been wetder. She's going to see him and be like, You're not a shredder.

Yeah, right. Every shredder is cut.

I'm a little upset.

You have every right to be.

How far away from Eerlik are we right now?

You are pretty close to Eerlik. You're within... You look like a pig man.

I think you're inside out. We'll take the mask off.

You obviously can see Eerlik and either cast spells or move into Mele with him.

Okay, but I can't go level three anymore, right?

Actually, I was mistaken. Now that I think about it, you actually have two level three spell slots at level six.

I can go level two as well. You could?

Yes.

Could I create a zone of truth?

Yes, you certainly could.

Then ask my stepsister, What do you see in this guy?

Absolutely. Go ahead. You create this zone of truth that no one can lie in. I'm going to roll for your stepsister. And perfect. You know she can't lie now. You could also cast in such a way that it covers Eerlik, and in such a way that it will also cover Norm, who's in that room. I trust Norm.

Absolutely. But I'd like to cover Eerlik as well.

You cover Eerlik as well. So both of them are in the zone of truth. He's going to have to roll to see if he can lie or not. But definitely your stepsister is not lying at the moment. You say, What do you see in this guy? And she blurts out, I don't know. He just seems like the shredder that I'm into, and I think I might even be charmed. Wait, what? As she says that out loud, she gets another saving throw now. But I'll say maybe with disadvantage because he's already charmed. Yeah, unfortunately, she says, Maybe I'm even charmed. And she goes, Oh, I I guess I'm charmed by his personality? She's confused a little bit right now. It's starting to like, she's looking at her hands, getting a little trippy. She's starting to realize what's going on, but not quite, it seems.

I probably should ask where the ax was.

No, no, no.

No, there's more important thing.

Absolutely.

Hey, oh, you're back.

I'm back. I would like you just roll a D20 for me real quick.

Any particular reason?

You'll find out in just a moment. It is a spell has been cast upon you and the steps Monster.

Can I send a counter spell?

You actually have... Oh, you certainly could.

That's a declaration of war.

Absolutely. Are you counter spelling this? It is automatically successful. If you do a third-level counter spell, that instantly negates any level 2 spell. And so the moment you realized... Do you want to roll an arcana, check to see if you knew what spell it was?

Yeah, I rolled a 13. Perfect.

Excellent. With a 13 plus whatever your arcana is, you knew it was a zone of truth spell.

So he declined to take the polygraph is what I'm hearing.

Yeah, I'll dispel it. What is he hiding? It affected your stepsister for just a moment. She blurted out that she finds him handsome and she might be charmed. But before it could really even help her start to break free, he counter-spells it unweaving the very magic you just wove. I'm sorry to say. It means both of you have burned up a spell slot now. It means that they're hiding something.

That's what I hear.

Absolutely. That was your action. Anything with your bonus action. You could inspire somebody, you could do a healing word, whatever you want to do.

Is anybody injured?

At the moment, yes, Norm is injured. Oh, yeah.

Heal him up.

Absolutely. You give him a little healing word. Thanks, bro. That would be a D4, the pyramid shape to die, plus three.

Okay.

It's four. Four. You get seven hit points back. Norm, you're only two hit points down now.

I need those. Done. Absolutely. We've got coming.

Who knows where this battle is going to go.

Wayne, amazing turn. That is going to bring us to Greg now. Greg, what would you I like to do?

I want to torture Shredet.

You guys want to torture her?

Yeah.

She seems like she turned her back on us.

Does anybody have any rope or chains?

We've all got rope. Yeah.

I want to try to tie her up.

Absolutely. I have a thorn with. Go ahead and roll an athletics check. I believe that's a plus five, so a D20 plus five. Six. Six plus five. You are going to tie her up. She immediately goes, What are you doing? No, no, no. Are you telling her what you're doing, or are you just fighting her and trying to tie her up?

I said we're about to torture you.

She's going to try to resist that then with a plus two. She has actually a plus four in all. So let's see. She needs an 11 or higher to beat you. Sorry to say, with a 12 plus 4, that's a 16. She avoids getting tied up. She's not going to like that. I would let you try again with your second attack, or you could stab her with your sword.

Hank, can you talk to her? You have her charmed.

Can I? I would let you try.

What would you like It was one persuasion check.

Convinced her it'll be fine.

Yeah, can you guess? Because you're doing this as a reaction, I'm going to only let you roll once, even though you normally have advantage. On your turn, you'll have advantage.

1d20?

Absolutely. 4. 4. I'm sorry to say, you're telling her just like, Let him tie up, and she goes, Fuck, no. You may be not him. It does not seem to want to get tied up, unfortunately. Now, you could try again with the rest of your action if you want, but she's still fighting you at the moment. I'm going to try again. Absolutely. I'll tell you right now, the number you to beat this time with a natural 20, you need to get a 24 or higher. You have two rolls on this.

Are you laughing? 17.

That's so high, too. Actually, I'm sorry, you don't have two rolls, but the number you need to get was a 24. What's your athletics bonus?

I do not have one.

Oh, I thought you did. Why are you laughing, Hank? I thought you had a plus five. I just went on. I'm sorry to say, when you say three and nine... I know what I'm going to do with my turn. That is not quite enough to tire up on it. Well, I wasted my turn trying to torture. Unfortunately, you're fighting with her, and she is not tied up at the moment. It is now Hippo Maximus' turn. I'm sorry, guys. I guess you could order your Moth to do something if you wanted to.

No, it's fine for right now. It's fine for right now.

Absolutely. Hippo Maximus, right after you go. The sister is going to get a chance to do something, Step Sister, and the Dwegar with the Hammer and crossbow, who has four hit points left, is going to get to do something, including wake up a teammate if he really wants to.

Now, there's one teammate that I don't necessarily trust, and I think that for the benefit of the rest of us shredders, there's five of us right now. I would like to question one of them.

Yes, Absolutely. Now, technically, neither of them have surrender just yet. Shredet likes one of us, and the other one is not surrender, but it would be very easy to get them to surrender. Do you want to try to get them to surrender first and then ask them questions?

Yeah, so I think I'd like to get them to surrender.

I'll I'd say you've got one roll, a D20 plus one, because it's hard to intimidate people in turtle form. D20 plus one. Okay. That'll be a 14. 14 plus one is a 15, or You're trying to intimidate Shredet, who is the harder? The hypnotized ones can't be. They're not hearing anybody right now. So your choices are Shredet, who is hard to convince, or the Dwegar with the crossbow and the hammer with four hit points left.

I still would like the Shredet. Oh, You're trying against Shredet, and you got a 15 total.

Unfortunately, I'll roll. If I roll really bad, then she is intimidated by you in answering questions. Not low enough.

I would say that was your bonus. Shredet's fucking on that defensive come up.

You could attack somebody or try to intimidate another Dwegar, including Shredet, if you wanted to.

We got to take out the... We got a weak Dwaygar. If he lives, he's going to wake up.

Use your head.

What do you guys think?

What does he mean by we? He didn't do that on his turn.

What do you guys think?

Yeah, just narrow it down. Kill the Dwaygar.

Okay. All right.

We'll go for the Dwaygar with your bite attack in turtle Form. That'd be a D20 plus 5. We think we need a 16 to hit this Dwaygar.

Wait, I thought I changed out of turtle form.

I'm so sorry. Right. You're no longer in turtle form. You can either use an attack with your Scimitar or you could use a spell. Spells are much I think I would like to use your spell. Absolutely.

Could I use... I'll use the Moonbeam, a space laser.

You called down. Oh, yes, dude. I didn't know you had that.

Oh, no, yeah.

You're hiding a Moonbeam? Oh, yeah. I have a Moonbeam.

Fucking tell Now?

Normally this comes out from the clear sky. Instead, it's coming through the ceiling. It doesn't destroy the ceiling or anything, but it passes through the ceiling, and suddenly this big column of light lands on, is it Shredet or is it the Dwaygar with four hit points.

We're going to take care of the Dwaygar. We'll get to Shredet later. Absolutely. There's something about we're going to...

Now, the beam comes down. It could cover. I can put it a good word. Since you're right next to this guy, it could hit you. I assume you don't want it to. It could also hit the Dwaygar and Lola. I assume you're only trying to hit the Duegar.

I don't give a fuck about it. Yeah, I'm willing to risk Lola for sure.

Absolutely. So the Moonbeam comes down. It's hitting two people in its square. So I will first roll the saving throw for the Dwaygar. He is failing the saving throw. Just barely, he will take the full damage. Then I'm going to need Lola to roll for me a D20 plus three. You need a 14 or higher. And a four. A four is not going to be enough. Lola is also taking the full damage, which is 2D10 damage. The D10 is shaped like this.

It's a shame about Lola.

You roll two of them and add them together. It is like a gusher. You're right. Absolutely.

That's one way to know what hippomax is.

That's how you just have to refer to all of these guys. I think it's been bothering me my whole life. I'm like, yes, it is a gusher, actually.

What sweet treat can we compare this to?

Now, these are going to be forbidden snacks for me for the rest of my life. I'm going to be wanting to munch on these.

Okay, so I have two of these.

So two of them and add them together.

All right, first one. Fuck. That would be a one.

Oh, no. Is that good? We want the maximum damage so that we can... I mean, not-9. 9. There you go. So 10 damage kills the Dwaygar with the crossbow and the hammer. One Dwaygar finally down. The Moonbeam. However, Lola is caught in the Moonbeam. Oh, no. Damn it. And instantly incinerated. Oh.

It's like she was never there.

But Lola was friends with who?

Lola was friends with Eerlik. Oh, shit. Murlok. She was not just friend, but his summoned familiar, his spirit that he bound from the Nine Hells. Now, Lola is not dead. She goes back to the Nine Hells. In 24 hours, you'll be able to summon her again. But that's a long way. She's probably going to have a good time going to the Nine Hells, right? She's going to have a greatExtra. Extra, right? Honestly, yeah. You're probably a nice place to go. She's going home. She's going to check on her family and stuff. She'll come back soon if you are alive to summon her. And so, Hippo Maximus, amazing turn. That was your action. Can't think of anything with a bonus action there. So unless there was anything you to do with a bonus action, it would now be Shredet's turn. Anything else you want to do with a bonus?

No, I'm willing to pass to Shredet.

Absolutely. I'm going to roll. The higher I roll, the more Shredet wants to run. The lower I roll, the more she wants to make out with Earth. Eerlik. So with a six, that's not a very high roll. She starts to get ready to run, and then instead, she stops, looks at Eerlik and says, We should make out. But first, we've got to think smart. What should I do? And she looks at Norm and gets her weapons ready. Do you think she should attack Norm, or do you think she should do something else instead? She is in front of everyone asking you this.

You can say nothing, and then you can Can I whisper something to her so they don't hear?

Yeah, she leans in while she's getting her weapons. Great action.

Attack Norm. But no one else knows I said that.

Absolutely. 100 %. As Norm is trying to lean in to hear what you're saying, Norm, I'll let you roll a D20 if you roll a That was a good whisper. 15 or higher, I'm looking for.

17.

17. You heard the whisper. Shit. Even as the ax is coming down upon you. The first roll is a hit because of advantage from you being reckless. And then the second one is a critical hit against you, Norm, I am sorry to say. And so that is going to be with her great ax The first hit would have been a total of a 15. However, that's only seven damage against you, knocking you back down to 50. It ate up the healing. Then the critical hit hits you. It is going to hit you. She swung the axon cut into your shoulder as you're recovering. I might have to ask, Norm, what would you call your most precious body part? She is critically hitting you, so she can hit something very precious to you.

Greg, why don't you answer that? What do you like about me the most?

Physically, it's your legs, but palate-wise, it's your asshole.

Okay.

Absolutely. She does a quick maneuver. Does it jump over you? Lands behind you, brings the ax up, and she's credit card swiping you with the battle ax. I'm sorry to say. With the battle ax right up the butt hole. She's going to knock your butt hole off. Ten plus five is going to be... No, plus the four is 14. Seven more damage against you is going to knock you down to 43 left on Norm, the Barbarian out of your original 59. And Then, I'm just going to roll one more time. Yes. She then tries to make a run for it out of the door. Norm, you can make one more attack against her as she runs if you want.

Yeah, I'd love to.

Absolutely. She has five hit points left. If you hit her. Now, unfortunately, it's not your turn, so you don't have advantage on this. You don't get to go reckless on attacks of opportunity.

But in spirit?

In spirit, you are reckless. Oh, certainly. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Good clarification. Yes.

Not six.

Six plus Seven. I'm sorry to say it's a 13. Not quite a hit. She runs out the door of the war room again. She is running to the Southeast, it seems. And that is going to bring us from the Dwaygar turn because... Oh, Let me just roll to see if she's able to wake up any of her teammates. She would have to roll very high to do that while she's running. Nope, she rolled very low. Both of her teammates stay hypnotized. She runs for the Southeastern door. I'm going to roll to see if she makes it there. University of Texas. She did make it. She just barely threw open the door of the Southerastern room, a room we don't know what is beyond there. Opened it, shut it behind her almost instantly, and we thought we heard the ringing of hammers, and we hear some shouting in that room now.

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That is going to bring us from the Dwaygar turn to Magnus Steelto gets to on that because you want your friend Magnus Steelto to do anything right now?

Yes. I want Magnus Steelto to bitch slap Eerlik.

Certainly. He will do that for you. Eerlik, he's going to walk up to you. Roll me a D20 plus 4 for Magnus Steelto.

That's a 16 bitch slap.

16 plus 4 is a dirty 20 on the bitch slap. So that is going to be a hit. Were you trying to damage him with the bitch slap or just make a point?

A little damage, a little point, a little this, a little that.

I'm going to say it's three points of damage in all against Eerlik, the warlock.

Quick question, is it towards his shredder head?

It's a great point. Were you slapping him in the face, given that you don't necessarily know this, but the shredder head is floating above Eerlik's actual nomish head.

No, I want to go for lower.

I'll say that she can swipe through, realize it's an illusion, then still smack him in the face if you wanted to. Yeah, let's do that. She realizes he's not as tall as he seems. Her hand goes right through his head, and then she backhands below where Shredder's stomach would be. It hits Eerlik right in the face for three points of damage. Eerlik, you're down to 42 out of 45 left, which puts you, Norm, just one point of damage ahead of Eerlik right now. That's interesting. And that will be all of the Dwaygar turn and Magnus Stealto's turn, bringing us to Norm's turn now. Norm, your official turn is now up. What would you like to do? You saw Shredet run through the Southeastern door. You don't know any information about the other doors, and you know that there are two hypnotized Dwaygar in the room. There's also a map in front of you that you could try to study, but I'll warn you, that's not what barbarians are good at.

No, that's not my... I'm not smart. What do you guys think? Should we go to the door?

She doesn't have the ax. Does she have the ax?

She doesn't have it behind what it seems. Okay, yeah, right.

We could let her live. Yeah, so let's get to... But I think the ax might be behind this last door. I do, too. I think so, too.

She was running towards there.

Okay, so let's get in there.

So Absolutely. You throw open the door to the Southeastern Room, revealing a mighty forgeworks. There are all of these anvals with chains going above them, with big mine carts and stuff that are hovering by. You see that she is shouting orders at a pair of Dwaygar with goggles on, looking very shredder because of their spiky armor. They pick up these weapons that, Norm, since you're looking at them, you can roll a D20 minus to see if you can figure out what the hell these weapons are. 20. Oh, a natural 20. Natural 20. You are able to put together what's going on here. These look almost like Blunderbusses, an item that does exist in the world of D&D. Primitive, simple guns, basically, except they have little sparks of fire at the end, like a pilot light, that just keep flickering. They get these weapons, they begin to march towards you with them, pointing them at you, and one of them, I think that's why you got a critical hit, had to test his out. He presses the trigger and like a dragon's breath. Okay. These flamethrowers are getting closer and closer to you. I'm going to roll the flamethrower, Dwaygar, into initiative separately.

They are going to go after Magnus's next turn. So luckily, you got some time. But you notice that in this room, there is on the Eastern side, a pit that drops down into the depths below as if it leads to a third level of this dungeon, it seems. And just before that pit, there is a Dwaygar chained up, but not against his will. He's an old Dwaygar, almost as old as the high priest was.

That guy's got to be a blacksmith. He's got to be like a worker.

He seems like he is managing the forge, giving the orders to the other blacksmiths who the flamethrowers now, and he looks like he's a forge priest of some kind using forge magic to make better items. It is clear that he is in charge of this whole operation in this room, but the stepsister is shouting orders to him as well as the two guys with flamethrowers right now. You could go for Shredet. You could go for one of the two guys with flamethrowers. The problem with going for the forge, free stuff in the air is he's suspended in midair right now, and it seems like he's guarding the drop off down below where the mine carts would start descending down. There is a system of chains for lowering and raising things over there.

Guys, I think we've stumbled into a severe slave operation. Where my If your step sister is keeping all these people against their will, making them work for her. They would probably hate her way more than we would.

Try to convince them they're free?

It does seem like they don't love Shredet. It's true.

Okay. Sexus. Can I jump into the pit?

You could if you really wanted to.

Can I jump into the pit with my boys?

100% you could. I'll jump in the pit with you. Absolutely. You'd be running past the guys with the flamethrowers, but they wouldn't get to hit you. You'd be running past Shredet. She might get to hit And then you'd be running under the Forge priest, and you can try to jump down if you want.

Is that what you'd like to do? You guys want to jump in the pit? Let's find this fucking ax. Yeah.

Absolutely. Let's find it.

Who's jumping in first?

We're all jumping together, but I would like to make sure that when we jump together, I'm holding Greg.

Absolutely. So you grab Greg, you pick him up in your arms. Big arms, right? Yes, absolutely. Huge arms. Only you would be able to carry this guy in full plate, scale as you are running. In fact, rolling, as long as you don't get a one, you can carry him, and you have advantage on this.

I got a 17.

17, you're already doing great. You're running full speed right now.

Would it be easier if I took off my plate?

No, it would take a long time to do. Actually, it would be It would be slower in theory.

Can Greg roll to see how tiny he feels in my arms?

Yes, 100%. How high you roll, the tiniere you feel. A six. A six. You actually feel pretty big. You feel strong. It's like he makes you feel stronger. Absolutely. You are being carried as you run full speed. Now, as both... First of all, sure down.

We're all jumping in, though, but I'm just holding Greg.

Absolutely. As all of us are running, Shredet is just going to swipe at you once. Shredet is hitting you. I'm sorry to say as you run by and she goes, No, he's heading for the treasure. He wants the ax. She hits you, unfortunately, for a total of nine, which becomes four damage against you. You shrug it off.

But Greg's fine, right?

Greg is fine. Am I okay? Absolutely. Let me just make sure that wasn't against Greg. It was not. Okay, thank God. She went for Greg, you blocked the shot. And so you took the four damage instead. Can you say that again? She was going to hit Greg, but you moved your shoulder in the way, took the hit for Greg instead. That's a turn on, to be quite honest. Hero move. Might need to roll for it, but I'll say you can declare that 100 %. I'll declare turned on. Yes, you are officially It's really turd on. Absolutely. You are down to 39 health left just below Eerlik now, but you run to the edge. And that is when everybody who is looking over the edge can tell it is a significant drop down. You could jump down, but the problem is you don't currently see the bottom, and that includes the people who have dark vision that goes out 60 feet. So wherever the bottom is, whatever it is, it's further than 60 feet down. Now, you could roll a perception check as a bonus action. If you want to see what might be down there before you jump, you could also roll an athletics check, try to grab a chain, and then climb down the rest of the way and not risk any damage, but that would be the less- Could I If I climb down, can everyone get on my back?

Yes, 100 %. Let's climb down. Everybody's going to be jumping onto you like a bunch of mama racoon with all the babies on them. But I'm holding Greg. 100 %. Now, if everybody is grabbing onto you, I'm going to say that that gives you a disadvantage. Okay, that's fine. I'm for the boys. Because you're raging, you always get advantage on your athletics checks. It cancels out. It's going down to a single roll, 1D20 plus 5. But to climb down, and more importantly, to catch yourself on the chain, you must get a 15 or higher.

This is a significant roll. Do you want a roll for me? No. Sure? Yeah. Positive?

I'm really nervous. You must get a 10 or higher on this. 10 or higher? Can I?

15. Wait, no, 10. Ten.

Can I get a kiss from anyone just to feel more confident? Anyone. I'll choose Greg.

Absolutely. Consent? Yeah. Given.

Okay. Absolutely. Now, he gives you consent. Do you ask anything else?

It's the hottest thing you can do.

Can you give me an extra point so I can get a nine or higher?

You can ask him for consent again now that you have it. If you do, I'll say you get an extra plus one on that.

Double consent? Okay, double consent?

You already know you have it. Okay, yes.

Because you knew you had it, but you asked for consent and drove him a little crazy. You get an extra plus one on this now. You only need a nine or higher on this roll.

Boys, boys.

The power of foreplay. Thirteen. Thirteen is enough. Well done. You grab onto the chain and you are able to start climbing down. As you do, you think you see there's actually water at the bottom of here, which means you still would have taken damage, but not as much as you thought. But now you can climb down the chain, get into the water if you want, and you realize you're in this underground lake complex, you think. The Dwaygar are going nuts up there. They're shouting, He's going for the treasure. One of them shout, Should we go down? And the stepsister Shredet says, No, are you kidding me? You want to go down there with Night Scale? I'm not going down there. They can die. But that one shredder, I'm going to miss him. Maybe I should help him. I'm going to roll, and if she rolls low, she's going to try to help. She wants to help save Eerlik, the shredder. She is going to try to jump as well. Please, Eerlik, since she's under your control, roll me a D20 plus... She only has a plus three on this, and she also needs a 15.

Eleven. Eleven. With a 14, she jumps to try to help you, and you hear her splash down into the water. I am sorry to say, she is going to take half of the falling damage, which would have been... Eighty feet would have been 8D6. She's going to take 46 damage, and she only has 5 HP left. I'm sorry to say already. Sepsischer's not dead, but she hits the water, she's knocked out immediately. And because she's in metal armor, she's sinking, and you know it. However, However, we think we notice that in this underground Lake area, it's like a series of chambers underground and in this Lake, and there's one going to the south, there's one going to the north. In the northern tunnel, we think we see an island emerging from out of the lake, covered with treasure. There seems to be an ax sticking out of the top of the treasure pile.

There's an island surrounded by miners.

100%yes, there's this glittering treasure all around, and we think it's a very remote island, very hard to find. No cameras, you're not seeing anything, not a lot of reporting. And so you are definitely seeing... It is clearly the ax of Durgeton up in the east. Well done, Norm. That is going to bring us to Eerlik's turn. Now, Eerlik, what would you like to do?

How heavy is the ax?

The ax is heavy enough that it is difficult, but you could carry it.

More less than 10 pounds.

Here's the thing. It is more than 10 pounds, but I understand what you're going for, and I would let you roll an arcana check to try to pick it up with a mage hands. Well, yes, absolutely. So you see suddenly from out of Eilish's hand, this glowing hand flies out towards the ax. I would like you to please roll a D20 plus your arcana bonus. If you can get a 15 or higher on this. Actually, only 13 or higher is all you need to pick up the ax and bring it wherever you want it to go.

Oh, no. What did he roll?

He got a one. Oh, one.

Is that high enough? Oh-oh.

We all would have won if you rolled higher.

I am sorry to say that here's the thing. Your hand flies over to the ax. It grabs onto the ax. It picks up the ax and then starts to weaken a little bit. It can't do it. Even the ax just phase through the hand a little. And as you're trying to pick it up, it dips down into the water a little bit. The hand flickers, and then you think you feel something pull on your hand. It's almost like a drone. You're feeling something grabs the ax, pulls it down into the water. The ax is gone.

Oh, you fucked that up.

It's so into the water, and you're not sure if you just dropped it or it went through the hand or something grabbed it. It's hard to tell. And that was your action. Anything you want to do with your move or bonus, Eerlik?

Apologize for your selfishness, maybe.

Go get the fucking ax.

Can I use a skill or it's too late for that?

I'll let you try. What's What skill were you thinking?

I'd like to go stealth because I feel like bad stuff is going to happen.

Yeah, that's a reasonable thing to do. I'll allow it. Roll me a D20 plus your stealth skill. Do you have the stealth skill?

Yeah, plus five. Absolutely.

19. 19 total or before the plus five? Before the plus five. Before the plus five. 24. Ain't nobody noticing you right now. You are stealth. This is an important detail and something we should remember going forward. Your teammates cannot see you right now. That is an important detail. You dive down to the water, no one knows where you are underwater, and you're really in the corner of one of these caverns if you want 100 %. Wayne, that is going to bring us to you next. What would you like to do?

Can you remind me what the powers of the ax were?

All we knew is that the ax had immense power. I let you roll an arcana trick to know, but we never got concrete answers on what the ax could do.

It just sounds like a cool thing.

It's a really powerful, super valuable ax.

Yeah. I can roll to see more about the ax?

You certainly can. Yeah, D20 plus your arcana bonus.

It feels like we should have done this earlier. That's very reasonable, 100%.

Now that it's within sight, it's easier, I would say. Oh, typically don't count if it falls on the floor. If you want to reroll that.

It's only seven plus four.

I'm sorry to say that you do not... All you know is it's the most valuable magic item you think you've ever seen.

I mean, we already came all the way down here. I think we're pretty committed at this point. We got to get this act. Yeah.

But if it sucks, we'll turn around.

Yeah. Okay, so I know that Hank's invisible. Uhlick's invisible. Yes. Can I still cast a spell on him?

It depends on the spell. Most spells, you need to be able to see him to target him. What spell are you thinking?

I was thinking about doing the bestow curse.

Oh, you need to touch him to do that. So yes, you very much need to be able to see him, unfortunately. It's a good call, though. You could roll a perception check, and if you get a critical hit, you'd be able to find him.

I also have mage hand. You do, yeah.

Can I reach down into the water? You try to find it 100%. Now, that would be an investigation check, which I let you use either investigate, slide of hand or arcana to see if you can find the ax in the water.

Okay, you said investigate, arcana or what? Yes. Or sleight of hand. I'm a plus five on slide of hand.

Go ahead and roll that. See if you can find the ax. D20? 7. 7. Absolutely. With a seven plus five, you said, you're fishing around in the water. You are not quite finding the ax, I am sorry to say, not yet anyway. You can try again with your bonus action if you want.

What do you think, Phyllis? Should we go after this ax?

You're over to right now.

Is there anything else I can do to get this ax?

The ax is what we're here for.

The ax is what we're here for. Just maybe get closer.

Well, maybe see what it's all about again.

I don't know who's talking right now. We can't even see this guy.

Does talking give up his location?

If he talks in character to us, we would He didn't immediately know where he is.

That's what he just did. Can you roll to yell?

No.

Can you roll to yell to him to try to trick him?

I'll let you roll a free perception check real quick to see if you heard him talking to himself.

Okay, what was that?

It would be a perception check, and I'm really looking for a 20 or higher on this.

20.

That's an eight.

Absolutely. I'm sorry to say he's still very hidden at the moment. You have your bonus action to either inspire somebody, do a healing word, or you I'm going to try to find the ax again.

I'm going to try to find it again.

Absolutely. Roll me another D20.

It's nine. Nine.

9 plus 5. 9 plus 5. That's better than before with a force. I heard a laugh. Okay.

I heard a laugh, too.

To be very honest, the number I had been looking for was 13 or higher. You had gotten a 12 before. This time, you passed it. Well done. Now, here's the thing. You grab the ax, you can feel through your own There's a shaft that you are with your mage hand grabbing onto. It feels really hard, girthy. It feels magical, like an enchanted shaft.

Where's this feeling been all my life?

Yeah, exactly. It feels good. Good grip. And as you pull it up out of the water, the hand comes up against something, and you realize something else has got the ax. Roll one more time to see if you can pull it out of the water. If that's what you're trying to do, you got the ax, but now you got to fight somebody for it. Okay, how did you do on that?

I only got a six, Tim.

Six, actually. This is surprising to them, actually, so you get to roll one more time. That's a twelve. Twelve. Okay, that's enough. You are pulling the ax out of the water. But what you are also pulling out of the water is the dragon who has grabbed onto the ax from below the water. This dragon has black scales. The horns coming out of its head look like Balrog horns that sweep forward in a radical way. And the Dwaygar upstairs begin to shout, Nightscale, he's here. They're trying to take the ax from him. And the dragon, like a dog who's fighting you for a stick, around the stick starts to go, Oh, take my fucking ax, will you? The Dwaygar gave that to me for rent. I keep the rent that I get paid. Give up the ax. The treasure is mine. And you can do whatever you want. What would you like to... Do you say anything back to him?

I say, Fuck you.

Oh my God. Absolutely.

What a hundred % Absolutely. Same on business. Absolutely. Now, Greg, you would be up next. What would you like to do at this point? Nightscale the Dragon looks very tough. This is obviously, he's laying claim to this ax. Right now, We could absolutely try to fight the ax, grab it, run out with it if we really want to, or we could try to escalate this, and then we'd be turning this into a part three encounter.

Could he kiss anyone?

Certainly could. I'll see if I have an action for that, but I would like to call the Moth to save Shredet, please.

Absolutely. The Moth dives down automatically. Roombia D20, as long as it doesn't get a one, it finds Shredet and… 12. Absolutely. Dives dives up out of the water with Shredet in its limbs. Okay. Throws Shredet onto his back. Shredet is now safe and unconscious, but no longer drowning. Well done.

I would like to kick Hank's girl off her flight.

Absolutely. Sorry. Sredette. Absolutely. You want to kick her off the moth, is that right? Yes. Back into the water. Yes. Absolutely. You immediately, automatically, just push her back into the water. 100%, she sinks into the water once again. For just a moment. Home and her eyes blinked open and she said, Thank you, brave. Splash back into the water. Well done. Absolutely.

Then I would like to do a lay of hands on Norm.

Oh, yes. You can heal Norm by laying hands upon him. What part of him was hurt? Upon him.

What's that? What part of him was my butt hole?

It was his butt hole, specifically. Yeah, my butt hole. Yeah, pretty woundful.

Desperate times.

Absolutely. You think it's a bad wound. You got to get up in there, you think. Absolutely, 100%. You stick your hand up. You're not there yet. You're going to have to keep going a little bit. Just to make sure. And what your hand gets up there further, you are able to activate your healing magic. It feels like the best aloe vera you've ever felt. In fact, you think you're going to be regular for the next year It's going to feel real good. You're going to be like nice solid chunks. And you are once absolutely able to give him 20 points of your lay on hands healing, which gets him right up to full hip points in that case. Oh, love it. Awesome. And that does eat up your action. So good turn, Greg. And that will bring us to Hippo Maximus next. Hippo Maximus, what would you like to do?

I'm going to need you to remind me things that I could be doing right now.

100 %. You got scared. You got scared. You've got animal forms you can turn into. Right now, the issue is the Dwegar upstairs, you're just scared. Down here, it's Shredet in the water and a dragon, who is, properly speaking, supposed to be part three of this. And we might You just need to grab this accent, run away, and screw this dragon over completely. Yeah.

Could I turn into a Hunter shark?

You certainly can. 100%. Hunter shark? Yeah, absolutely. You've been holding out so much shit on it. 100%, Absolutely. Yes. Hunter shark, you turn into your aquatic morph. Well done. You turn to this bash Hunter shark, and you are just about the same size as this dragon, you're pretty sure. Underwater now, you can see clearly, and you can tell that you can see the lower body, like Jaws the style of this dragon as it is fighting for the ax that is hovering above the water line. What would you like to do? You could dive out of the water, literally jump the shark, and you can grab onto the ax, or you can bite onto the dragon on the nards, or you can do whatever you want. I'm going to go for the ax. Actually, you're going for the ax.

Let's get it. Let's get this ax.

Get out of here. You're completely surprising the dragon because the dragon is above water, doesn't see you coming. Go ahead and roll 2D20s plus five for the athletics of the Hunter Shark form, which is what you use. I'll tell you right now, the number you need to beat, and I give it the dragon disadvantage on this, is only a 10 total. That's all. You need to get this.

I have two.

Yeah, you need to get this. You need to get this. You need to get this.

You need to plus five on this. You need this ax. You have advantage. You need a 10 or higher. Come on. So as long as one of them is five or higher, you're good.

That would be a 19. Yes.

19. Amazing. Then just roll one more time since you get a second roll. Let me know if you get a critical hit, but otherwise, you're still getting a lot with a 19 here. 16. Okay, 16. Oh, my word. Then, specifically, what you can get with a 19 plus 5 for the Hunter Shark is you dive up into the air, through the air, grab the ax out of the hand and out of the dragon's mouth completely. Actually, you could roll and try to hold onto the ax, but you would need a critical hit to beat him at this point. Making sure. 12. 12 is not enough. You grab the ax from both of them. You dive down to the water, and that is when, and I promise you all, I am not making this up just to give you this opportunity, Max. You notice that as you dive down so deep, and you weren't expecting to find anything deep down there. You were just trying to get away from the dragon. You notice there is a tunnel that goes underwater. And just from your shark senses, being able to sense in this water, like the smells and environmental changes, it leads out of the mountain entirely to the Lake next door to the mountain, you could easily go through this water tunnel with the ax in your grip, and you would be able to escape all of us, including the dragon.

So you're saying that Hunter found the crack?

That one went over my head, but yes.

Absolutely. Is the dragon going to be an issue?

The dragon is no longer an issue for you if you sail through that tunnel. Maybe help us out.

Yeah. Can I bring some shredders?

You can grab? I would say because you got a 24 on your athletics, not only you notice this tunnel, you can have everyone, just like Norm did, grab onto your fins.

Well, you should grab everyone you can see.

That's true.

Oh, right. Because I can't find one of the shredders. If I can't find him, then he's got to stay.

Yeah, that's a good thing because a shark would eat a turtle. Oh my gosh. All the shredders you can see, we'll hop on.

Grab all the shredders you can see. You don't grab any shredders you don't see. Were any shredders calling out for help to try to escape? Just making sure.

I couldn't hear them. I was, yeah. You do call out.

You were. You think you hear a shredder you didn't see calling out. Do you go to that voice or?

No, we're going to leave that shredder. The shredders I can see, though. They're hopping off. Fuck, yeah.

With a critical hit, you could have gotten to that shredder. But I think without a natural 20, you can only grab these shredders. Shredder code.

We as shredders only grab shredders we can see. I feel like I'm watching Ninja Turtles again.

And you were absolutely able to have everyone grab onto your fins and tail. You go out of the secret tunnel that is the dragon's way into and out of this mountain because he's an aquatic dragon. Eventually, he will try to find us, but we're too fast for this dragon. And with your athletics check of 24 total, you get to the lake, change back. We all spill onto the shore, and sure enough, you can bring the ax back with you to town. And you have...

Question, Tim. Yes. After we get out of the water, does Greg... Does he need mouth-to-mouth?

Probably. I inhaled a bunch of water. Anyone who is just a human would need mouth-to-mouth.

That's what I thought, 100%. Strong people can do it?

Strong people the best.

Okay, all right. Yeah. Doing some CPR. I'd like to save mouth to mouth.

Who cast the spell that puts my mouth on my dick?

I think that's what happens if you heal your wounds in a certain way. You did. Like the ogre when his dick fell off, you healed his dick. So obviously, we can switch dicks around and stuff. I think that'll be the thing. Absolutely. And so bringing the ax back with you, you are able to lay claim to the ax, and you have succeeded at the adventure, The Forge of Furies. Love it. Well, and you did in two sessions, which is only one group of AWLs was able to do it. Maybe two groups was able to do it in just two sessions.

Also, follow up to what would happen to a turtle that was left in the lake with an angry dragon whose mother's ax was taking away.

I'll just roll real quick. I'll let one turtle roll just to see. Oh, with a natural wand. You live and live on in that cave system.

And I can just go save my girl.

The dragon's hunting. You go back to the stepsister. That's not a good life. The two of you can retire together. She's charmed. You can keep her charmed. That's grim, but yeah, absolutely. It's also poison down there. You would essentially, if you have control of her with charm, you take over the Dwaygar a little bit. But unfortunately, they don't have the ax anymore.

They might have to go back and kill the Dwaygars.

The dragon's really mad also because the ax got stolen.

I can convince the dragon to go get the ax back.

Okay. Well, that was incredible, Tim.

Well done, everyone. Nice work, Max. Good adventure. We all made it to the end. We all made it. We all made it. We all did it. Absolutely. We did it. We're all together. Yeah, we're all together. That's all. Absolutely. That's the important thing. Do we want to... Everyone wanted the ax. Is one person getting the ax, or are we all great? We said we share the ax. Yeah, we're shredders. We are shredders.

Always share the ax.

And fuck turtles. I'm forgetting basic shredderI feel so silly. It's a lot to keep track of. Well done. You share the ax, and you are winning the day.

Well done, everyone. Okay, so Tim, I had one. That was so much fun. I have a rowback question. Absolutely. R-h-o-b-a-c-k. Com, promo code, take 20% off for first purchase, QZips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowback question. I saw you've been doing games for a bunch of AWLs. Yes. Have they been flying you out? Oh, yes.

I was just in Columbus two weeks ago. I've gone to other places and cities around here. I think they're There are some AWOs in Chicago who have brought me out, actually, so I always try to sync up with them and stuff. I love it. But yeah, I will just say that I love running games for AWOs. I think at this point, 50% of my clients are AWOs. It is so rad because what I do is now that I've run Forge of Furry, I've been running another adventure for them. So next time I see you guys, I'm going to have to run that adventure that they've all been playing. So far, I think maybe 25 groups have done this next adventure I've got planned. Once I run it for you, I have to retire it and then start a new adventure for the AWL. I love it. They move through seasons. If you want to get in on the current season before we play again on the podcast, now is your only chance. Once I run on the podcast, it has to get retired. And I will also be at some conventions in Indianapolis and the Origins Convention in Columbus and one in Orlando.

Yes, I might see you there. Absolutely. I always tell AWLs, If you want a discounted game with me, I'll be running games there. Especially if you're already going to that convention, please say hi to me, if nothing else. Just for people who are in New York, I am running after-school programs in New York, and currently, we are looking for more schools to expand into. If you have young people who are looking for a D&D club at their school, I'm providing that in New York and in other areas. If you are a Dungeon Master who is looking to Dungeon Master for kids, we actually need more Dungeon Masters.

I love that. I think we should go to one of these conventions.

Where's the indie one?

The Indianapolis one is Gencon. It It is the biggest Dungeons & Dragons convention in the world. If you guys were there, I could take you on the whole tour. That's my stomping around.

When is it?

When is it? It is in August. End of August. We're in.

Yeah, we're going to that convention.

Absolutely. That's That's amazing. Also, at some point, I mean, convention, yes, 100%, because I got to show you what those are like. Also, LARPing at some point. This is my LARPing kit, and I haven't gotten a LARP very much at all. But the people who LARP make me look like a casual.

They are hard core. Will they be LARPing in indie?

There will be people in costumes in indie, 100%, including myself. We got to get wild at these conventions? Yeah, definitely. 100%, yeah. Absolutely. They do.

Well, Tim, you're the best. We love you. Thank you all so much. And thank you everyone for listening.

Absolutely.

Love you guys. That was great.

Great.

Great job, guys. Okay, let's wrap up the show. Num 5, 1, 33. 3. 11. I'm chasing you memes.

What did you say, Max?

11. Why 11?

I always do 11.

I thought Shane does 11. No.

I've done 11. I've done 11. I've done 11.

Shane does 21.

18.

Jake Marsh. Very cool.

Very cool, Jake. Very cool. All right, we'll see everyone Monday with Ryan Rusillo. Love you guys.