Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Stella Blue Coffee is more than just great coffee, it's coffee with a purpose. Introducing We Brew to Rescue, a nationwide campaign using proceeds from our new ready-to-drink cans to help fund 1,000 pet adoptions this year. Every can you crack open helps a real pet find a real home. Simple as that. Made with 100% Colombian coffee, each 11-ounce can delivers smooth, drinkable energy with a boost of protein. Available in Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. Built for mornings, long days, and everything in between. Drink Stella Blue, fuel your day, and help save a pet's life. You can follow our progress in real time throughout the campaign by watching the adoption tracker on our site. Grab yours now at stellabluecoffee.com, Amazon, and select retailers nationwide. On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, Grit Week continues. We spent the day at LSU. We have an awesome interview with Lane Kiffin on the show. We also were in Jacksonville on Monday. We did, uh, the construction with Blake Bortles, and we have him on the show as well.
I'll say it right now, maybe worst interview we've ever done because it was in the back of a 130-degree Vanny Woodhead, but we love Blake, so it was still some funny moments because we were dying.
I'd say it's 30% gold, 70% mold.
Yeah, yeah, but, uh, we, we love Blake. We have a great vlog coming out on Thursday with Blake. Uh, we did some really cool stuff in Jacksonville on Monday. We're going to talk some playoffs. Playoffs have been incredible. We've got guys on Grit, a little behind the scenes of our travels. It's all here. It's Grit Week. It's one of our favorite weeks of the year, and it's brought to you by our friends at Chevy. It's Grit Week, that this is the part of the football calendar where nobody's watching but everything gets built. Early mornings, pads back on, conditioning, film reps. Spring training in football is all about putting in the work when nobody's cheering yet. So check out the current offers and build your Silverado at Chevy.com. We have a Silverado with us. It is awesome. Memes, you drove the Silverado for part of the drive from Jacksonville to Baton Rouge. Did you love it? Loved it. Loved it.
Loved it.
Loved it.
Great pickup.
Incredible truck. So go get a Chevy Silverado today. Thank you to Chevy, our wonderful sponsor. Thank you for putting out a swagged out Chevy Silverado Grit Week version. We have a— it's a really cool truck, so go check out the current offers and build your Silverado at chevy.com. Okay, let's go! Yeah, part of my take. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Wednesday, May 20th, and the Cleveland Cavaliers are dead. We were going to start the show with Wemby because we have a lot of Wemby to talk about, because what we watched on Monday night, or for our case, what we listened to in Vanny Woodhead, which was kind of a fun experience listening to a basketball game on radio.
Old school.
Uh, Wemby. I can't stop thinking about Wemby. But then Jalen Brunson happened, and the Knicks eliminated a 20— was it 20-point fourth quarter deficit? Uh, essentially at the hands of Jalen Brunson cooking, frying, grilling, chopping, whatever, hunting. He was hunting, uh, killing, whatever you want to put him on. Skates. James Harden shaved him and the Knicks are now up 1-0. And I don't, I don't want to say a series is over after one game.
Series over.
You can't lose that game if you're the Cavs.
Series over. When it went into overtime, we said the Cavs have to win this. This is must-win. You can't give this up. All-time choke. They choked it away.
Choked it away.
Choked away. And we should give credit. You said obviously like Brunson, yes. Uh, OG is awesome at defense. Yeah, he had them in hell.
OG's incredible defense. James Harden, I just don't know, like, he just— he, he missed a lot of shots and he just got fried on defense. I don't know if you have another option, but it felt like anything else would work there. And it did feel— this is why Knicks fans, deservedly so, will die for Jalen Brunson, because he is that type of guy where when everything feels like it's going to shit and MSG doesn't have that buzz to it, he brings the buzz back and he puts on a performance like that. Also, shout out Landry Shamet. I think he went 3 for 3 from threes and one that was just impossible to go in. And yeah, memes, Zach, congratulations. Game 1. I'm going to say it. You guys are in the NBA Finals. Yeah.
Congrats.
Not even trolling. I do. You, you agree, Beams? Like losing that game because it was one of those situations where I would always think that the, the team that had just played in a Game 7 2 days ago is not going to be up to snuff when it comes to Game 1. It's like almost an auto loss. We saw it with the Sixers. Max talked about it, the scheduled loss. The Cavs come out and the Knicks look like the team that had played 2 days ago. They were rusty.
Too much rest.
Yeah, too much rest.
Much rest. And they tired. Yeah, it took them 3 quarters to wake up, and then when they woke up, they woke up.
But congratulations, the Cavs had that game. They were going to steal Game 1. They were going to be able to go back to Cleveland, you know, splitting the first 2 games, which I guess they still could do potentially. But you can't lose that game.
That was the worst 3 quarters I've ever watched them play. Like, any team in the NBA could beat them, like even the Wizards.
Like, it seems a bit unnecessary.
Well, no, he had to hit our quota of talking about the Wizards.
Yeah. Also, I mean, since Memes brought it up, I think you can make the argument that AJ Dabansa is— he's going to the best possible situation for a rookie. It might not be in the history. Well, no, let's just say that whoever it is is going to the best situation in the history of the NBA for a rookie.
Yeah.
No, it was so bad. I was begging you guys to record that.
But then you were being a piece of shit.
Yeah, I would like to apologize to you guys.
Wow.
I also never left my bed. That's also on me.
Okay, thank you. We were debating what Memes was doing, how he was watching the game. Some people said standing up, pacing in front of your TV. I thought you might be in bed. You might be tucked in.
It was so—
so were you talking?
I was talking.
The reason why we're calling Memes a piece of shit is we've had one of the longest days. We We were up at 5 o'clock in the morning to do hot yoga with Lane Kiffin. We played what it felt like.
It was not yoga, by the way.
It wasn't.
Yeah, we're gonna get to it with Lane.
So that was a fucking lie.
Yeah, I was fucked up. Uh, we played a million sports. We were out in the sun all day. We've been up since 5. We just wanted to record the pod, and Memes hit us with— when, when the Cavs went up 20, he said, okay, let's record the pod.
For the love of God, can we please?
That was a Wade 4-point play.
Yeah. And then he, he— we all come down here and Memes just didn't come down here, and then the Knicks come all the way back, and then we have overtime. So piece of shit, but also congrats.
Yeah, I apologize, but I also don't apologize because I was such a— such a great comeback.
Yeah, that's fair.
Jaylen Bronson is so good at basketball. I'm going to name my first kid Jaylen Bronson.
Oh, congrats on being pregnant.
Thank you.
First name Jaylen Bronson?
Yeah, first, first and last name Jaylen Bronson.
Zach, Jaylen Bronson's ability to just blow by guys when he knows he's got to turn it on. Maybe the most hustle in the entire NBA. What a comeback. Let's go.
Love to see it.
I was—
hell yes.
I'll be honest with you guys, I was devastated. I was watching the game down at the, uh, they had the game on the TV at the, at the bar downstairs, and it was kind of a sad sight. And then things just started turning around and they started ripping because no shots were falling early. Like, we, we were abysmal from 3 early.
Yeah, they were 2 for 19.
Yeah, I think it got up to like 4 for 24.
And like, just terrible.
I'll be honest, after that first half, I felt like neither team was really impressive at all. Like, even though the Cavs were winning, they didn't look like they were playing that good. We ran out, we got some ice cream at halftime just to—
did you like your ice cream? It was very good.
Frown upside down.
I, I, I invented the ice cream chaser, which I think you actually do, but you do— it's not even a chaser, it's just like 2 ice creams. 2 ice creams. But yeah, I invented the ice cream chaser this trip. It's getting a regular large waffle cone and then a small cup that you can just finish yourself off with.
Cup travels.
That's a good move. Yeah.
Two different flavors. You got to go two different flavors. I've been going mint chip, which is like— it's almost like brushing your teeth. I eat the waffle cone, then I brush my teeth in mint chip.
There's a big movement to keep mint in the bathroom. People that don't like mint chocolate chip flavored ice cream. I love it. I don't—
I don't care.
Yeah, it's so good.
I, I'm going to eat whatever ice cream I want.
One mint chip in the bathroom.
Yeah.
No, no.
They're saying— they're saying like mint belongs in toothpaste. It belongs in mouthwash. I'm a big mint fan. And Big Cat's right. You can use it in lieu of ice cream flavor there. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, well, it's not the best.
I don't—
yeah.
Also, they didn't have large flavors.
You went too far, Hank.
There was no large flavor. It was— it was small, medium, and then Best Value. That was just their name for large. Yeah.
Fantastic consistency from the place from today.
Yeah, yeah.
I never really—
I've never been to an ice cream place where they roll it up like a, like Chipotle.
You did the marble top first time? Yeah. Hank was pissed and I was like, dude, just wait. And he's like, oh my God, they did it. They made me mint chip. All right, so yeah, back to the game.
Cat's got to stop doing stupid fouls too. When he had that foul on the OG drive-by, I thought that was a game.
Yep.
But he's just got to stop with super fouls.
But he wasn't good tonight.
No, terrible.
No.
Was, was Hathaway there?
I'm not sure. They've priced out the everyday Knicks fan.
Like Anne Hathaway?
Anne Hathaway.
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, I saw Devil Wears Prada. I'm kind of back in on Anne Hathaway. I regret talking shit about her. She's very good in that movie.
There's your Anne Hathaway update.
You gonna see the second one?
I think I might. Yeah.
Have to think it might.
That's all.
Also, did you see Mike Green pull back a bang? He almost banged—
he double-clutched a bang.
Yeah, he almost banged the Cavs. Who was it that shot the last shot in regulation?
Sam Morant.
Yeah, he almost banged it and he pulled it back. He's professional. Yeah, he knows when to do that. It's crazy that it like That was a— you just can't lose that game. You cannot lose that game if you're, if you're the Cavs.
Yeah. I mean, it's, it's over.
Knicks in 4.
It's over.
Yeah. Okay. The next game. Well, Zach's telling you to cool down, Hank. No, I didn't say he pumped you. He pumped the brakes on you. He pumped the brakes when he said Knicks in 4.
That was more so internally and it came out physically. But I wouldn't, I wouldn't say pump the brakes, but it just like something to think about.
So not Knicks in 4, Knicks in what?
Nixon success. We just got a one game at a time.
Oh, I like that. Nixon success. Uh, the other game was absolutely incredible. Yeah, we— it's, it's, it's always the best when in sports you expect like a great series, and obviously the series has a lot to go, but you expect two great teams to give you a great game and somehow OKC-San Antonio Game 1 went past that level. And Wemby, I just, I've been thinking about Wemby. I can't stop thinking about Wemby. He is the— Rosales said he's the best watch in the NBA right now. It's not even close. Uh, I don't think Rosales said the not even close part, but just his entire performance, leaving it like he was so gassed. That 3 that looked like we were talking about it. It looked like it was almost like there was a whistle beforehand because it was like in slow motion. It was just incredible. It was just an incredible game, an incredible watch. The Spurs, the young Spurs. Did you see the Spurs starting lineup? Because De'Aaron Fox was out with an injury. So Dylan Harper started the Spurs starting lineup. I think their average age was 22 years old.
Yeah.
Like full all of them.
It's—
yeah, here it is. Harper 20, Castle 21, South 25, uh, Wemby 22, and then you want to, you want to hit up your guy Champagne— what'd you call him?
Champagny.
Champagny 24. The average age for the, the San Antonio Spurs who took Game 1 against the defending champions, 22 years old, 346 days.
Yeah, that, that 3 by Wemby, I mean, it there's no defense for it. There's no possible way to guard it. And if you try to guard him away from the basket, you're going to put like Alex Caruso on him, which—
Alex Caruso was playing on him for a decent amount of the game.
Caruso was incredible.
Alex Caruso is a great defender. He's an awesome defender.
Also great 3-point shooter.
Last point, you can't have a guy that's like 6'6" guarding a guy that's 7'5".
But I don't even— I don't even blame him on that because it's like, no, that shot was so deep.
That's why I'm saying like Wimby is like— that's how much of a problem he is. Like you cannot defend him when he's hitting those shots.
That was a step shot.
It's impossible to stop the guy. And while I do have one bone to pick with memes about that, something that we posted after that shot, you said Wimby was aura farming afterwards.
Oh no, dude, that was the coolest moment when he was standing there. Not every Spurs teammates were just going crazy for him.
Not everything that's awesome is aura farming.
That was aura farming.
No, it wasn't.
No.
They also looked so—
definition, that's it.
With Wemby standing in front of them, they all look so cute, like little munchkins. It was so, so fucking awesome.
What is your definition? You said by definition that was aura farming.
Yeah, he knew what he was doing. He was standing, he was standing in front of the bench.
He hit an awesome shot and then he looked at his teammates.
It was like, yeah, no, he looked to the crowd, then he looked at his teammates. He was like, yeah, I'm the best. And he wanted to capture that moment. That's aura farming.
Why do we have to turn that into something negative?
Like, it's not negative.
Are you farming right now? You're doing—
I think memes might be—
oh, you're doing a face right now.
Memes might be farming.
No, or farmers. You're just— you're just farming aura.
And that's what he did in that moment.
I don't know. It seems like it's negative connotation. I think he just hit the shot and it was an awesome moment.
I got to say, I don't care about farming. I don't even understand it. It was just cool. Like, they looked so cute, like, going crazy for him. It was cool. I mean, Wemby, it's just— I can't— I can't stop thinking about Wemby. And SGA was not good for his standards. He's got to be better. They were doing a good job double-teaming him. Wemby also was just playing like free safety and being like, hey, let's just let Lou Dort shoot. And that's a tough— when you— when your shots don't fall, that's tough. Can I do real quick, just rattle off some Wemby stats for you guys just because they're so awesome? Uh, okay. Wemby is the first player with 35 points and 20 rebounds in a Conference Finals game since Charles Barkley in 1993. At least 35 points and 20 rebounds. Um, Wemby was the first— or the youngest player since Kareem, uh, with 40 points and 20 rebounds in a playoff game. Wemby had 41 points and 24 rebounds, only players to reach those numbers in a playoff game since 1968. Charles Barkley, Hakeem, Hakeem again, Wilt, and Kareem. That's pretty insane company. Yeah. Wemby also had 24 rebounds.
The Thunder starters had 23. Insane. Also, the Thunder, they're on-off with Wemby on and off the floor. When Wemby was off the floor, the Thunder went 10 for 16 from the field. When Wemby was on the floor, they went 16 for 50. It's the Kirk Goldsberry stat that he had, uh, at the end of, end of the, uh, regular season when he basically was like, if you look at the numbers, whenever Wemby is playing on the court, he basically makes the other team a lesser version of the New Jer— or the Brooklyn Nets in terms of offensive efficiency. He's that special. Yeah, I think I'm going to say something. I think it's— I'm starting to feel bad for LeBron because Wemby is probably better than LeBron. He's probably going to have a better career than LeBron. And it happened right, right after.
There are these moments in the playoffs that you always look at, like we'll look back at that game and be like, that's when Wemby announced himself. Yeah. Like with LeBron, I would say it was probably that series against the Pistons where he just said, okay, it's going to be me against all you guys. Yeah.
When he scored. Yeah. Whatever it was, like 20 points in a row. Yeah.
This was, this was when Wemby was like, okay, I'm a superstar. And he was by far the best player on the court. He's probably the best player in the NBA. I would say here's where I'm at with Wemby. He has to win a minimum 7 championships.
Has to.
If he doesn't, disappointment.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean, I think the problem with Wemby is he is 7'5". So the injury concern, you just hope he stays healthy because he's so much fun to watch. 7 championship Hanks. What do you think?
That's ridiculous.
Okay.
Why? Why? Why would you say that?
When you said that, Hank was like, literally made a disgusted face through his hands.
Why would you say that?
That's ridiculous.
7 is a lot. 7. I mean, that's—
they're doing a bit right now.
Just play along, Hank.
Oh, yeah.
Agreed.
No, thank you.
Okay.
Hey, I would love to have Hank just like react to everything that we say. That's a joke. Just like, that's ridiculous. That's why would you say that?
I do. I do kind of like the Thunder in Game 2 because it did feel like the Thunder or the Spurs, not that they're happy with, you know, it's only Game 1, but they emptied the tank and the Thunder do go 10 deep. So like Wemby played so many minutes, he left it all out. He was gassed. He was just, he was just like throwing like his body around at the end.
So it's crazy. Is in the regular season they put him on a big time minutes restriction like that.
They were smart.
They held him back, and, and the plan was always going to be get to the playoffs, unleash Wemby. And then when you do that, then you have the natural question of like, can he deal with more minutes? How's his fitness going to be? It doesn't— he's, he's in great shape. And he was, he was like hitting that shot at the very end after all those minutes when he was exhausted. Like, I don't know what you can do to stop the guy. No, I, I don't see how it's possible to stop him.
No, he's— I mean, he— when— if, if he gets the ball anywhere near the rim, it's in. He can, he can dribble, he can shoot, he can do everything. And then on defense, he just— everyone has to alter their shot. Again, I mean, this stat alone, with Wemby off the floor, the Thunder were 10 for 16 from the field. With Wemby on the floor, they were 16 for 50. Now they could probably, if they make some more open threes, they probably, you know, everything looks different. But still, that's just what he does defensively.
And I like how he's got like a little bit of a mean streak in him. Now, it might just be because he's going up against Chet and they've got a great rivalry that's gone back years where they— it looks like they actually don't like each other, which I love. I love seeing those guys go at it like that. So that gave him a little bit more motivation. But I guess the only way you can stop the guy is like get him in foul trouble. Yeah. Besides that, I don't really know what you can do.
It's— it was— it was a crazy performance. And again, we listened to the majority. We saw the end of the game in overtime on TV, but we listened to the game in Vinnie Woodhead. I kind of like listening to a game.
You feel—
it feels— I don't know, I just— you feel locked in.
And it's a different experience when you listen to the game on the radio as opposed to like just listening to like the TV.
Yeah.
You know, like because you can go like YouTube TV and have that play through the stereo.
No, we were doing radio.
We're going to the radio.
Carlissimo.
Yep, that's right.
And his all-time hoarse voice.
Yep.
Yeah. The other game we had, it was a great night for— great two nights for playoffs. The Canadiens advance.
Mm-hmm.
Feel terrible for Buffalo. Kind of a soft goal.
Yep.
Sabres— like, the Montreal jumped out early and then felt like the Sabers were the better team for the last two periods. And that just sucks.
Such a heartbreaking way to lose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you're one step closer to having to eat two croissants a day.
Yeah.
Which moved to become a French citizen and become a French citizen. I think that the Hurricanes— I'm putting some faith in them for the first time. I will be rooting for the Carolina Hurricanes.
Yeah, they're— they're— you're good.
Oh, wait, say that, Hank.
You're good. It's—
they're like the Knicks. The Hurricanes are that much better.
Well, that's ridiculous. He's—
he's doing a bit.
I was just doing a Hank.
I was doing a bit. He's doing a bit back to you.
God, I'm so jealous of Memes right now. He just Twitter searched Knicks and has just scroll— has just been scrolling ever since.
What have you been finding?
That's the best. It's the best feeling after a win. And you're just, what is everyone saying?
He can just—
he can Twitter search Brunson.
Oh yeah, it's all right.
He can Twitter search Harden.
You can watch Locked on Cavs, listen to Locked on Cavs tomorrow.
Yeah, yeah, you're gonna get some Locked on Cavs. Uh, what are you finding? What are you finding, Memes? Do tell.
Uh, the Cavs had a 99.9% chance of winning this game.
Oh man, that's obvious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is.
It's just so good.
Um, Zach Ormeems is a great Ravel tweet.
What'd you say?
I'm deactivating MGM building a new hotel wing in Las Vegas off tonight. 95% of the money bet at a sportsbook was on Knicks -7.5 tonight. They're down 20 with 7:29 to go.
Oh, they did cover.
Love that.
Won by 11.
Um, by 11. Memes or Zach, you can answer this question. So, um, obviously great comeback, but the fact that they were down by so much, are you just completely like wiping that off, throwing that off to like it was a long layoff so we had to knock the rust and then we're good moving forward? Or is there any lingering concern with the fact that you guys we're down so big in this game.
So I would say to that is in sweeping a team, you then get to rest. Too much rest may lead to hibernation, and sometimes it takes a bear a little bit to wake up.
When the bear wakes up, better watch out.
Cavs are dead. Let's just say it. The Cavs are dead like that. You can't lose that game. They called one timeout in the, in the 30-8 run. They just— James Harden got cooked. They were up 20 in the fourth quarter. The Knicks snatched their soul, snatched their heart. It's over. I'm sorry. I mean, what are we talking about? You know that means, you know, in your heart of hearts, like, you can't lose a game when you're up 20 with how much time was left? 8 minutes? Yeah. Like, I thought they were— I thought they were going to take out the starters. That was like, that was the vibe that it was going towards. Like a minute more, it would have been like, take out the starters. Jalen Brunson's like, no, I'm going to, I'm going to fucking fry James Harden and we're going to be back in this game.
Yeah, I think we're good. But the third quarter defense when they were double-teaming at half court, I don't know what the fuck that was. So we need it. We need to actually make some coaching adjustments and not double-team, leave their three-point.
You played like shit and you were so bad.
But it was a great basketball game.
You worried about—
it wasn't Wemby. I mean, there's no great basketball game has to have Wemby. Yeah, it's like a different sport. Yeah, it was great.
Yeah, it was great ending.
Great, great ending.
But come on, you need—
no, no, it was terrible.
It was a terrible basketball game.
Yeah, you need Wemby.
Yeah, it's like watching a movie with no boobs.
Mm-hmm. Who would do that?
Not me.
Never.
Would you?
Are you nervous about Wemby?
No, we have Mitchell Robinson.
Oh, you have the Wemby stuff.
We have the Wemby stuff.
That's right.
Mitch Robinson, why did he not play that much tonight?
They were doing Hack-a-Mitch.
Do you think anyone in the Knicks organization is like, hey dude, just maybe a little loft on the free throws?
I think so. I don't know why not try underhand at this point.
Yeah, just like, just like, it's not, hey Mitchell, you have to change everything. Just a little arc. Maybe just put— you know what they need to do is just have a broomstick in practice and be like, don't hit this broomstick, dude.
Yeah, I think he's the only player in the NBA that, uh, hack shack still works.
He's—
it's just line drives right at the hoop. It's crazy.
And you see how important he is when he's out there.
Yeah, he's a beast. Uh, okay, quick other two stories. Jason Kidd fired.
Yep.
Um, What I think— that's the only reason I bring it up is I actually think it's probably the best job because you get to coach Cooper Flagg. Like, that's a, that's a very— that's a, that's a big-time job now. Jason Kidd, I feel like he's just been place to place and just had good players.
Yeah.
I mean, he bought himself a couple of years when he figured out that when he wears like thick horn-rimmed glasses, he looks smarter and everyone's like, maybe this guy's a genius.
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, Kenny Atkinson said, I like to hold my timeouts. I try to hold them. Good job, dude. Yeah, way to hold your timeouts when they're going on a 38-run and MSG's roof is about to fucking fall off.
You got to know—
how do you say that? I like to hold my timeouts as you, as you lose that lead. And the other one is, uh, we, we'll discuss this at a later time, but, uh, we were dead right about the Blazers owner, when he didn't buy the t-shirts, Dundon, he did like a mass firing today that looked like he just went into his spreadsheet and picked like the highest paid employees. They're just like, you're out. So that guy sucks. We're on him. We'll be a later day to be continued. We're on him.
Yeah, I guess he's— he was a payday loan king that had a bunch of lawsuits.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not a good guy.
Also, just a quick shout out to our guy Sawyer at LSU. Yeah, incredible day. We have so much content we did today. The Lane Kiffin interview is so awesome. We basically like hung out with Lane Kiffin all day so that by the time we did the interview, it was like, yeah, we've just been hanging out all day, uh, and it made the interview even that much better. So, and we did a crawfish boil, we did everything. So he was— the hospitality here at LSU was like top, top notch, and it's a lot because of Sawyer, who's in AWL. So Yeah. Unbelievable day.
Second to none. Also, shout out all the Gooners out there.
Oh, yeah.
Arsenal won. Joel Embiid, congrats. You got a chip.
What do you do? What are you doing, Memes?
You guys see Ben Simmons won championship today?
Yeah.
Yep.
Fishing.
Oh, congrats to him.
Yeah, well, his teammates carried him.
No, Max, what are you going to say? Quick. Fuck you.
Oh.
We've also reached the point of great week. Yeah, we're just— we're—
we're—
did you guys see the NFL news?
Do tell.
The, the owners voted to go from 10 international games to 11.
You fucking piece of shit. Fuck you, memes. Max, what were you going to say before that? What about LSU? No, no, you had something to say. Maybe we should live.
No, no, we're not. We're not doing that. We're not doing that today.
Max, what do you say? Quick.
Nothing.
No, you were saying something about LSU.
It's over. I was just saying we have a vlog coming out next week of the day.
Okay.
And it was a great day.
It was seriously one of the— it was also very funny because we had a moment where we had just played a bunch of sports, done hot yoga, like hung out with friends, and we like did VR. We did the jugs machine, all this shit. And Hank was like, man, this is so much fun. Like just doing all this shit. And I was like, yeah, it is. And then I stopped. I was like, wait, we do this every day. Our lives are pretty awesome. So that's not lost on us, especially on Grit Week. Uh, okay, we're gonna kick it to Hot Seat, Cool Throne, then we have Lane Kiffin and Blake Bortles. Before we do that, DraftKings— the NBA playoffs are here, and DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, brings excitement to every game day. The whole postseason, when the lights get brightest, the best players in the world show you exactly who they are. Playoff stars turn it up round by round, and DraftKings turns it up with them from the first round all the way to the finals. Bet player props, bet live from the opening tip to the final possession.
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That Half and Half was amazing.
It was the most refreshing drink I've ever had.
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So grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Okay, hot seat, cool throne.
Hank, my hot seat is JSN.
Oh yeah, Jackson.
Good hot seat. Yeah, what happened?
Uh, they sent him his trophy, which As you remember, he was disrespected by Drewski during the ceremony.
Shout out Drewski, come on the pod.
Why did he put a lot of makeup on or something?
For the way he announced— he announced Jackson Smith-Njigba's name when giving him the Offensive Player of the Year award.
Hank, remember when we were last in LSU and Drewski saw you puke at a blackjack table?
That didn't happen. But I do remember being here with Drewski.
There was literally a clip of you and Drewski on the sideline when he's like, Oh yeah, I remember you from last night. You were puking on the blackjack table.
Yeah. I mean, Drewski's a comedian. That was— that was— I didn't know if I was— if I was puking at the blackjack table, I would have got kicked out. I did not get kicked out.
He looked at you and in the video he goes, you were fucked up.
Yeah, you were fucked up, man.
Was not— was fucked up. Okay.
They—
he got his award and on the award it was engraved NFL Defensive Player of the Year.
But that's kind of cool. Yeah, I agree with that.
I agree. I mean, Larry Fitzgerald ended his career with more tackles than drops. People forget that. He probably could have won that award. But with JSN, he, he was offended by it. He's like, you guys still don't respect me. So he's probably going to get a new plaque. And in which case, when he does, let me just say that JSN will take the mislabeled plaque.
We are in that business and we will put it in our trophy.
It'll be the only thing in our trophy case at Barstool Sports.
We are. Well, until we get the civil conflict.
Well, for now. For now.
Yeah. But we are— our stop at Florida State yesterday was incredible because we were able to secure the banner that is Florida State number 4 ranking canceled season, which they actually raised. And we're going to get the Florida State head coach on in a couple of weeks. But yeah, we are— we're fully in on the memorabilia of things that shouldn't be memorabilia.
Banners that should never exist, trophies that should never have been printed.
And troughs and troughs and piss troughs.
And then my cool throw. I have a couple. First one, I don't know if we're going to talk about or not, but by the way, with the Washington Mystics season attendance record, I've got—
oh, I'm in contact with the highest sources.
That's interesting because Rico Bosco, weirdly, when we got the Florida State banner, didn't say anything like, hey, awesome job, cool banner. He just tweeted the Washington Mystics banner and said, I've heard that this is unattainable. Well, most bizarre tweet of all time.
I'll tell you this, Rico is not in touch with the high-level sources that I'm in touch with.
I think he was a little jealous that we went to a basketball facility.
Well, you know what? I got— I got a jumpsuit and I was going to give it to Rico, but since he mouthed off, I guess I'll just have to light it on fire.
He did mouth off.
I'll give him mine. My cool throne. Part of my cheesesteak.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say so.
Are we telling this?
Are we?
Yeah, I'll tell it because it was— so the Belichick interview, everyone should go watch, listen. Incredible interview. I think we all walked away being like, that was so much fun. We want to do it again.
And quick side note, touch on Rich Boston Sports Radio is shitting on me for thanking Bill Belichick. Fuck that.
Why wouldn't you?
I don't know.
I don't know how a journalist—
I don't know how many times you guys say We are not journalists. We will never be journalists. Not a single person in this room went to a journalism school. We don't pretend to know journalism. We barely can read. We're as biased as possible. We will be open about our bias. We will do softball interviews if we want to. We don't care. We're here to entertain you and make you laugh. That's our job. We went to the school— we went to clown school.
Yeah, any sort of news or journalism that we actually end up doing is completely by accident. Yeah. Like if we ask a question and somehow get a newsworthy answer. But I don't understand why they're, they're upset with Hank for just being like, thank you. Thank you, Coach.
You were glazing. You were riding on it.
Yeah.
We bounced on it. Yes.
Yes.
Yeah. You break it off.
Absolutely.
Okay.
And I do it again.
So, so back to the story. So Belichick, incredible interview. Awesome time at Chapel Hill. I said it on, on Monday, but my good friend Brandon, who was able to who works for Belichick, was able to get us, you know, there. And we got it all coordinated. And it was great because we— they didn't say like, hey, you can't ask this, you can't do this. We approached the interview how we wanted to approach it. We did not see Jordan at all at Chapel Hill. We were kind of upset about that because we'd like to say hello to her. On Sunday night, I, I get a call from Coach Belichick. This was like right before the interview is going to go live. And in my head, I'm like, Fuck, like he's going to say that he doesn't want us to air it or we did something wrong. Just thinking of the worst moments, like just being like playing it in your head, like something bad's about to happen. We're not going to be able to air this interview.
Why would he want to call like, yeah, at the last?
Yeah.
What, what, what could possibly this be about?
And so he calls me and everyone's in the room and he just goes, I had a great time. I just want to tell you, I had a great time. Thank you guys for coming. But just one thing. And I'm like, in my head, like, my life flashed before me. I was like, fuck. He's like, it's all going to come crashing down. He's going to be like, don't run this interview. He's like, did you guys promise Jordynne Cheesesteaks last year? And I was like, oh, fuck, we did. We promised her an NIL deal. He's like, yeah, she said that she wants her cheesesteaks, so we got to get her signed.
So now that's priority number one for this podcast.
Yes.
And she's, I think, going to be the only NIL athlete that we're targeting for the upcoming year. She is our queen. She's number one. We love Jordyn. We will die for Jordyn. Whatever she needs, she gets. We might even have to name a sandwich after her, or a wrap, or like, I don't know, maybe some other menu, maybe a dessert, because she's very sweet. So I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to make it work, Jordyn. And, um, yeah, thank you for holding us accountable. I'm glad that she remembered that.
Yeah, no, it was— I mean, what you guys were all in the room, what was going through your head? Like, you guys were all freaking out too. I was—
yeah, I, I, I was expecting like a plug to try and get pulled, which was going to be a weird back and forth because we'd already announced the interview is coming out. Like, I instinctively was assuming the worst.
Assuming the worst. And it was never even— yeah, Belichick, he was just the same. He was like, thank you guys, that was so much fun. Really appreciate you guys coming. We need to get your Donner cheesesteaks. I was like, yes, we do. That's actually on us. We're fucking scumbags.
It was right after we released like the promo video for it.
Yeah.
So like outlets were starting to pick it up and being like, all right, oh, Bill Belichick going to be on part of my take tomorrow, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I thought it was like, oh, he, he isn't liking the amount of attention that this is getting before it goes down. So I was like, we're fucked. Something bad's going to happen. We're going to have to scramble.
We're in a bad spot, but we are fucked in a different way because we promised Jordan Cheesesteak.
We didn't deliver.
We did not deliver. And Jordan, you can still come on the podcast anytime. But yeah, we— I think that was— I don't know about you guys, but I got a ton of messages being like, that was an awesome interview. Yeah, it feels good to be able to like every now and then, like we've been doing it for so long that we've kind of hit like all of the white whales. There's a few still out there.
Kevin Durant.
But every— yes, big time Kevin Durant. But every now and then when we get one, it's just like, oh, fuck, yeah. Like this, this is, this is the secret sauce. This feels good. So I think he'll come back on. I really do. I have a ton more questions.
I hope so. And yeah, with Jordan, so maybe we could sponsor her cheer team. I'm down. Code Black is the name of it. Okay, we could, we could figure something out.
Maybe I release this Stella Blue Coffee Black, uh, Code Black.
It sounds like maybe it's a mix of Code Red and coffee. Yeah, Mountain Dew presents Cold Black.
Coach doesn't like coffee. We established that.
Yeah, good point.
He gets all, he gets all of his energy through football. Well, such a metal quote.
We'll figure that out. And, and Zach had The question of the day. Yeah, the alarm clock thing. People absolutely love that, Zach.
Yeah.
Yeah, he was, uh, he was sitting in— it was almost a throne of achievement because the trophies were behind him and the rings were to the right, and it was legitimately like, I don't know, it was very overwhelming. And he was, uh, it was a great interview.
Yeah. All right, other cool thrones?
Um, my other one was just Jaylen Brown. Yeah, he just keeps going at Stephen A. Smith, which I respect, you know, in today's day and age, guys.
How's that a cool throne? He's just—
he's on the cool throne.
He told him to quit.
But then Stephen A said that he's got— he's got dirt.
Yeah, he says that. Fucking come release it, dude.
But then you're going to challenge that. Yeah, you want him to?
Yeah. Stephen A is—
yeah, I like—
I just like the quote, like, fuck Stephen A, fuck Stephen B, fuck Stephen C.
Who's Stephen C?
Just fuck them all.
Now, Hank, what if Stephen A, Stephen Colletti, or B, B or C listens to this podcast right now? And is like, wow, Hank's talking tough, I'm going to release it. And then it blows up the Celtics.
That's not going to happen.
Okay.
All right.
So listen, I get laughed at when I call out the aliens. You're like, don't do that. Don't, don't, don't poke the aliens. You're poking Stephen A. Oh, okay.
All right, fine.
Well, someone please send this to Stephen A.
Perk also said that he had some— he had some evidence.
He is a fucking hater. Perk, they kicked Perk out of the facility years ago.
Well, all I'm saying—
bitter ever since—
all I'm saying is that Perk said that he has texts from people around the Celtics organization that keep texting him whenever, whenever Jaylen Brown goes live. No one in the organization likes Perk.
Okay.
Perk alienated himself years ago because of his hate of Jaylen Brown.
So, so you're saying Perk's a liar?
He's like, he's, he's, he's dug his feet in the sand and he's keeping those feet.
Are you, are you saying he's dug in the sand?
What if Jaylen Brown gets traded? Are you backing on Perk?
No. Okay.
I like— I don't dislike Perk, but it sounds like you do. Yeah, he's been on the outside looking in since whatever it was, 2022.
So Perk and Stephen A, Hank's talking mad shit.
Yeah, he said be careful what you wish for. He's going out, he's looking through the endorsements, he's going into the locker room, he's going to dig. Are you worried about what could come out?
He signed a huge deal with Oakley, which was again Stephen A's big thing. Like, you don't want—
you—
sponsors don't like you. And then it's like he signed this big deal with Oakley.
So not worried about what could come out?
No.
Okay.
All right, carry the hell on.
Yeah.
My hot seat is, uh, friendship. Yeah, people being best friends. Yeah, Max.
Yeah, I had this too.
AJ Brown, he got married, and I think Laguna Beach.
You're gonna get— you're gonna fall for fake news right now.
Oh, is this fake news?
Yeah, that was not on my house.
I haven't said anything.
This is fake news that was not on my house.
I haven't said anything.
Jalen's son—
wait, let him finish.
Let him finish. Let him finish.
Keep going strong. Okay? Why wasn't Jaylen Hurts at it?
He was not at the wedding.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, that's what we're saying.
Well, the first report was that no Eagles player.
No, no, no, no, no. Is everything okay between AJ Brown and Jaylen Hurts because Jaylen Hurts was not invited to his wedding. And the rumor on the street is that we don't know that.
Jalen Hurts not confirmed that he wasn't invited is not confirmed. It's just that he did not attend.
Well, the story that I read— wait, the story that I read was that Jalen Hurts invited— he was invited to AJ Brown's engagement party, but he decided not to go because it was the night of the Met Gala. And so AJ was then like, fine, then you're not coming to my wedding.
Last year's Met Gala.
An engagement party and then a wedding.
Yeah, no, possibly last year's Met Gala. It also could not be a real story, but, but the real story is that, that AJ Brown did not have his quarterback at his wedding.
Well, AJ Brown is no longer a member of the Eagles.
That's not true. Not true.
Wrong. Don't do this, Max. If you do that too early, then how is he not going to be able to negotiate?
Yeah, you're right. What you're doing right now, you're, you're tanking his price.
There's so many— there's so many suitors out there.
Listen, I said the whole thing about us not going to journalism school or know what journalism is or reading books, but we are all representatives of our respective teams. So you— you are now saying that he's not a member of the team. Like, everyone's like, oh cool, like, how— here's a third rounder, he's already off the team.
No, it starts with the first, but not anymore because you just said he's off the team. You just killed all your average, dude. They might not even need to trade anything because you said that he's gone.
Yeah, I might just be able to pick him up on waivers off the street.
I'm too tired for this, for this bit right now.
Well, what you did was— so he is factually on the team. There's a chance that he's not traded.
Oh my God, he just did minion voices.
There's a chance that he's not traded, Max. So I don't know, ideally I would like my wide receiver to invite my quarterback to his wedding.
Do you think he was invited and turned it down? Because we would like to— I'd like to say right now that PFTI will not be at Max's wedding. So shout out, Hank.
But I'm going to get him on C's Cool Thrones, but I'm getting him a nice present.
And we all were at his bachelor party. Mm-hmm. So that counts, which is way better. Way better than a wedding. Mm-hmm.
Rude. Very rude. Why?
Why?
It's a fact. I mean, Thanks.
Thanks, Hank.
No problem.
I was invited. I turned it down to go to the Met Gala. I'm going shopping for my clothes for the Met Gala, so I can't make it.
Okay.
Then my cool throne is bitter rivalries. Oh, bitter rivalries. So Alcatraz, the tennis player, he's been injured for a while now, and he fired off the maybe the wildest Instagram story that I've seen in a while in terms of like for an audience of one person. So the rivalry in tennis is Alcatraz Center, right? Look at this Instagram post that he just dropped the other day.
This is from—
this is from Alcatraz. He says, I watched the final from home with ice on my wrist. Every time my phone vibrates, it's your name again. Another trophy, another Sunday. You make history like it's a normal thing. 9 Masters trophies already. Crazy. Sometimes I think you win too much when I'm not there. Tennis feels weird when I'm not looking at you across the net between points.
What the fuck?
Tour is too quiet without our matches. I miss this feeling, walking on court knowing you are on the other side waiting for war. Rehab is hard because my body rests but my mind still wants to chase you. Every match you win makes me want to come back faster. Enjoy this moment, really. You deserve everything you are living now. But don't forget, I'm coming back soon. And I think we both know the best matches still didn't happen yet. I come back soon and I hope you are still waiting there.
Vamos!
These guys want to fuck.
This is a heated rivalry. These guys are going to fuck if they haven't fucked already. They respect each other so much as competitors and as rivals. They are going to fuck each other. It's not even a question.
Like this is mutual respect. Yeah, yeah.
Not, not like I don't think this is gay at all. No, no, no. It would be just like like, you know, like, I respect you so much. We've fought so many battles on the court. It's almost like fucking myself.
It would be improper for us not to make love.
Yeah. Yeah. Just for, for the vibes. And also, like, it's pretty much masturbation.
Well, yeah. And it's, it's, it's basically they're saying we're, we're almost sacrificing our bodies for this rivalry, both physically and sexually.
Yeah.
We have to do this.
This is in fact, like, if we don't do this, I think that's a disgrace to the sport.
Correct.
To the game that we've put so many hours in.
Correct.
Do you think they would fuck on grass or on clay?
Hardcourt.
Hardcourt? Yeah, that would get scrapey.
That would get scraped.
That would get scrapey. Uh, but yeah, Carlos Alcatraz. Listen, I, I like the rivalry because they've given us like the only tennis matches that I've cared about within the last 5 years. I think it just got taken up a notch with this post.
Yeah.
And It's awesome to know that he's at home watching him, like, feeling a mix of almost anger that he's not there, but also like intense, intense eroticism.
Yes.
Watching him win big time. What do you think, Zach?
I think it's a competition. They're so competitive that it's like, I'll take your body on the court. And, you know, as two dudes do as tennis pros, possibly in the bedroom now, because that was— that was a poem. I felt like a romance novel. Yeah, maybe a poem.
You know what, they're so evenly matched. And in tennis, you know what you call a tie? Love. How about that?
That's good.
How about you? Did PFT just low-key snap there?
That's good. That's beautiful. That's beautiful.
That's uncharted territory that you just start fucking your competitors.
Yeah. And also, but also like you're fucking your competitor, but he's also fucking you. Yeah, because it's like, so even—
maybe 69.
Yeah, so even.
Okay, uh, is that it? Yeah, yeah. My, my hot seat is, um, anyone who thought they had, uh, plans for life after death in terms of like, hey, are they gonna get cremated? Are they gonna get buried? Because I, I stumbled upon this, uh, this was a— I found it on Twitter, but it was a Reddit post about what a guy wants his wife to do for him after he dies. And this is the most metal thing ever that we all— I think we all should agree to this right now. So this is, this is the wife writing. She says, my husband has some disturbing requests for after he's passed away. This one is really bizarre, and I'm sorry ahead of time. My husband of 12 years has some medical problems recently. The topic about end-of-life plans came up, and I asked if he wanted to be buried. He didn't want that, nor did he want to be cremated. My husband wants me to have his skull taken from his body and cleaned. Then he wants the skull put on the mantelpiece in the living room. The rest of his body he wants sent to one of those places that makes the gems out of bodies and made into two blue diamonds.
He then wants those gems to be put in the eye socket of the skull to look like eyes. Then he can watch the family home and be passed down through generations.
What the fuck?
That's awesome. Imagine Dad just sitting there Skull, like, on the mantelpiece.
Elf on a Shelf. Yeah, it's your dad. Yeah.
Oh, I think you got to do this just to haunt your family.
I respect it.
They wouldn't fuck around.
He might be a supervillain.
Yeah, true. But also pretty badass. You'd be like, are you going to— are you going to deny this man's wishes? I guess you could just be like, he's already dead.
But what if you, like, start to get away with stuff? Then like you lose the power that your dad has over you.
Yeah, sure.
You lose all the fear that you might have.
True. Or like something bad happens. Like, I thought you were watching over us, Dad.
Yeah. I think in order to really pull this off, first you have to fake your own death and then do like a dummy head. And then when the kid screws up, then the dad like secretly—
Yeah.
With a nanny cam.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like the bear with the nanny cam.
Yeah. Gets revenge on them. And then on creepy way, not after your fake death, like in a normal way.
Yeah, in a normal way. You got to fake die.
Yeah.
Move states, then implant a nanny cam into your old house and watch your kids, but only interject every now and then.
I think it would be like if you are going to die soon, then you, you're like, I got to move out of the state for a while.
Yeah.
And then mess with them. And then when you really die, then the power still stays in your kids' head.
They're like, oh, that's— he's still there. He is in the teddy bear.
Yep.
Okay. My cool throw, and I got to One is we talked about a little bit on Monday, but more details came out. My culture on his PCA, because people were getting upset because the video came out of him telling the, uh, woman, the White Sox fan, to suck his dick. And, uh, I have no problem with it. Anyone who has a problem with it doesn't respect rivalries in sports. And like, it's also— we've gotten to a weird point where I feel like fans feel like they can just say whatever, and then, and then if a player says something back, like, oh, how could you say that? No, fuck that. If you talk shit to player in earshot, the player should be able to talk shit back to you. I actually respect that. I respect a player talking shit back to a fan far more than like the LeBrons or Rorys where they just get fans kicked out.
I don't think that PCA— like, I, I don't think that the two of them, the woman or PCA, left that exchange still upset at the other. No, I think they left that exchange being like, good banter.
And again, PCA is a— he's a lightning rod type of guy, and that's great for sports. I'm happy he's on the Cubs. Other teams fucking hate him, which I— that's fine. That's great. That like he bothers other people and like when he doesn't do well, they love to shit on him, which— and then when he does great, I love to praise him. So it's part of sports. It's part of rivalry, part of talking shit. I love it. I think it's— there is no harm, no foul. And I also just think that if you talk, if you are going to say whatever you want, like you're going to fly off the handle against a player in earshot, and they turn around and talk shit back to you, you should just be like, hey, guess what? All's fair. That's way better than Rory kicking the guy out. Way better.
I agree.
Rory should turn around and been like, fuck you, I won the Ryder Cup in your face. What do you say, Max?
I did that this once as a 10-year-old in Little League.
You told a guy to suck your dick?
Well, I was playing. No, I was playing right field. And there was a family member of the other team that was heckling me as I was trying to catch it. And I turned around and just flipped, flipped the bird off as a 10-year-old. And it was a big deal.
And that's, you know what, that's good sports town, like heckling a 10-year-old Little League. Yeah.
Devin Stratford versus Burwin Paley, Little League, big rivalry.
You got in trouble for it?
I didn't get thrown out of the game. I did get my— I had a stern talking to from my parents for sure, though.
And now you don't swear at all anymore.
So it worked. I didn't even swear. I just, I just, I just gave the finger. But I was 10 years old, so that, that was a little alarming at the time. So yes, I'm pro this.
Yes. Yeah, I think we all are.
Yeah, pro this. And to the people that are saying like the woman that did it is now like crying about and playing the victim, I don't think that she is at all. I think that like, again, it was like they stepped out of the ring like two boxers that just went, you know, they went, they went 10 rounds against each other. It was a decision. And then she walks away. They'll meet each other again.
This is a perfect litmus test of like, do I, do I like you as a person? Would I want to hang out with you as a person? If you watch this interaction and your reaction is That's classless. How dare he? I don't want to be your friend. If you watch this interaction, you're like, yeah, it's sports. That's fucking funny. They're going back and forth with each other. That, that gave the woman a story for the rest of her life. Yeah, there you go. So all's fair. And then my other cool throne is Vanny Woodhead 2. Absolute beast. So we've talked about it, but Vanny Woodhead 1 was a complete which was dead and then came back to life because Billy never junked it, was a death trap, was not— it was, was on its last legs. We've retired it. We actually crushed it in metal and made it an art installation in our office, which is pretty sick. Whoever set that up, I had boughten—
I bought—
boughten? Bought 6 AM yoga. I bought it. I bought it. I bought Vandy Woodhead 2, I think it was like last— late last summer. And, uh, from late last summer until yesterday, it had driven maybe 15 miles. We had not used it. It was just kind of on the sideline waiting. Yesterday we just threw it in the fire. 600 miles one day. Vandy Woodhead 2, just an absolute champ. And it's got some nice— it's comfortable. It looks exactly like Vandy Woodhead 1. The only quirks we have is when you— there's a couple. One is the dashboard just went blank in the middle of the drive.
That happens sometimes.
That was fine.
That's probably when we got the hour back.
Yeah, that's where we got the hour back. The other was if I, if I floor it, the AC turns off. Also fine, because it's actually nice. You just get like a little break from the AC and then it blasts back on.
When it comes back on, it actually feels better because it's like you get to experience the heat for a second and then the cold feels even colder. It's like a turbo AC.
And then the speedometer is like just not correct, but that doesn't matter. I was just— I was going fast. We were going fast and it held up. So shout out Vinnie Woodhead too.
It was actually very comfortable too. In fact, it was so comfortable. Great job. Some of us fell asleep. That's how comfortable it is.
You want to say sorry?
Sorry for—
for saying I was— Hank.
Hank, this is—
this is— this is fake news.
Well, okay, between Hank and Max calling fake news before anything's been said. Yeah, you guys got to let—
let us speak before you apologize for making a joke and you not being able to take a joke.
I'm sorry.
Oh, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This sounds like a fair apology.
Let's hear him out. Yeah, yeah, let's set the stage real quick. Uh, 10-hour drive for 10 hours. Hank had slept and played golf in the back. I mean, I would have driven. You never let anyone else drive. I'm not saying— I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that.
What else am I supposed to do?
Not say you suck at driving.
That—
okay.
We were driving for 10 hours. It was loopy. I was loopy.
I was—
we were messing around. I made what I thought was a very obvious joke. I forget what you even said, but I was like, yeah, but you suck at driving. Which again was, I thought, very obviously.
But again, it was also— it was also like 500 million deals and we're like, no, I didn't. I sent you a gift.
You say that I'm actually mad, then today you're like, I'm actually mad you said that.
No, did you?
You said I'm actually mad.
I'm actually mad that you were pretending you didn't say it.
Well, then again, the camera went on and I again thought we were just busting balls. The camera went on, I was like, big cat, you did such a good job. Yeah, because you were actually getting really mad.
And then when the camera vlogs, I was like, what to put out.
Yeah, you can do whatever you want. I was, again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for making a joke and you not being able to take it.
Oh, you're such a He's a piece of shit. So, hey, what I liken it to is Hank is a spoiled little kid who sits in the back of the car, sleeps, plays video games, watches his iPad, and then in the last 5 minutes of the drive is like, are we fucking there or what? And like complains. And like, that's what he does. So he did it for the Vegas drive.
It's like, what?
Like, you wouldn't have driven. I would have driven. No, you—
I don't think you wanted to.
I've driven the RV across the country multiple multiple times.
Yeah, you would have just like 11 years ago. And also I think that you would have rather played golf on your video game. Yeah, in the back. It wasn't my video game in the back seat or whatever.
I, I, again, we had a great time. Jokes.
Hank, don't do that.
Hey, Hank is the buddy that goes to bed, he gets like really, really drunk and he falls asleep at like 9:30 at night. And then everyone else goes out, has a great time. And then we wake up in the morning and everyone's super hungover at 10. You're like, like, come on, why aren't we drinking yet? Because you got a full night's sleep. That's what, that's what it felt like when we got into Baton Rouge last night.
We were on our last legs. We were tired.
We're also at the point of Grit Week where we're just yelling at each other for everything. We've spent too much time.
We're also, we're also at the point of Grit Week where we're getting easily duped by fake stories because that tennis thing came from a Tennis Central account. I didn't know that tennis had Central.
So we did that entire thing? Oh no. PFT.
I didn't know that there was a Tennis Central. What can I say? So what happened was I, I absent-minded—
you are over— I bookmarked it over Q2.
I bookmarked it last night. What else have I screwed up, Hank? Tell me, pray tell.
Birthdays.
Oh, birthdays. Here we go with the birthdays.
The list goes on.
Stats is now keeping a list of every birthday that you get wrong, which is very nice. There's, uh, 6 billion people whose birthdays I miss every year.
Hey, I accept your apology.
OK, thank you. I'm sorry.
I'm not actually mad. I was very tired at the end of that ride. That was a long-ass day.
Yeah, it was a good trip. Yeah.
Also, I agree, I should have let you drive, but I was very excited to drive Vinnie. I spent a lot of money on that van and we had never used it, so I was pumped. Thing fucking drives well.
Yeah, no, it's—
it's exactly—
it is the exact same van as Vinnie. Yeah, it's nice.
I didn't think we'd be passing cars at ease, but when you needed to go around, it It was ready for the occasion.
And I went— I went no tweets.
It was full, just slingshotting.
The only two tweets were when we stopped for gas.
I talked to Big Cat before we hit the road and I was like, Big Cat, if you want to use your phone, I'm gonna drive. We're not gonna take Vanny on I-10 and have you scrolling the entire time. And I felt safe. I felt safe without Big Cat on Twitter. I felt—
I— oh, I'm sorry. I accept your apology. I'm sorry. I accepted.
I was so safe. I feel safe. Yeah, I didn't feel safe. Like, Zach was like sitting there clutch, you know, clutching both, both armrests.
Well, Zach was having to deal with the fact that you put your toes in his fucking ears because you were on troll mode. That was a lame move.
You were doing that.
That was insane. He's like a— he got in his 6-year-old mood.
Loopy.
Yeah. Slash, your phone died.
Yes.
Let's just admit that your phone died and then you're like, I'm gonna fuck up. Phone died.
I got a sugar high.
Let's just admit your phone died with— in hour 9 of 10 on the road, and you're like, I'm going to spend the last hour just fucking with everyone. Yes. Okay.
All right.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Okay, Zach.
But that was obvious.
My, uh, my cool throw or my hot seat this week is going to be guys who don't like contact because Cam Scottie was saying week 1 return against the Cowboys. So, okay, broken fibula. Ankle this way. But he's saying, look, boys, I'm back. He said the hardest hurdle was the mental game of like being able to trust it again. So, okay, we're getting full, full contact running backs back.
Hell yeah.
I'm excited. He's just a lot of fun to watch.
That is fun to watch.
Are the Giants a team I'm going to sell myself on mentally?
You did last year.
I know I did. That was really stupid.
Maybe Sunday Night Football week one just screams everyone's going to get excited for that game and it it could just be like a—
I think, but Harbaugh changes it.
That is true.
That is true.
When is Saban coming back? That's the question.
He got another knee scope.
Although we—
never mind.
What?
You got another knee scope?
PFT.
Chargers, the same knee?
I think so. What?
What'd you say?
What'd he say?
The Chargers still stink.
The Chargers do not stink.
Chargers stink.
That seemed like an out-of-the-blue shot.
Why was it? Why?
Because, because we said the same thing about Harbaugh going to the Chargers are going to be—
the Chargers have been good. The Chargers have turned it around. Yeah.
Harbaugh got them to the playoffs.
They're in the playoffs. They're a playoff team like 2 out of 3 years and they lost their entire offensive line last year and somehow got there.
Do you remember what they were like before Harbaugh got there?
27-point lead in the playoffs. This is crazy. Yeah, this is crazy.
Chargers, I think you're just thinking they lost. They lost.
Well, I'm just thinking anti-Giants right now.
I would absolutely— if you, if you ask Ask any Chargers fan, has the Harbaugh era been a success so far? Resounding yes. Resounding yes. They were dogshit with Justin Herbert and like they had— what are you talking about?
They had a 27-point lead in the playoffs. Yeah, that was bad. That was bad a couple years ago.
Yeah, but then Brandon—
they just get a pass because they're the Chargers.
No, no, no. Remember Brandon Staley? Remember the game against the Raiders? The worst game ever played. When they lost by 700.
Remember Easton Stick?
Yeah, like they were a joke.
That last year they were very bad.
Yeah. And Harbaugh came in and cleaned that shit up. And then if Rashaun Slater and Joe Alt don't get hurt, maybe it's a different story. Maybe they know Justin Herbert would probably still lose the— has he— he hasn't won a playoff game. Shit.
No, he throws a lot of interceptions in the playoffs. Tends to—
that was quite—
hey, we're having you back, Shane. We had your back.
We did have your back. I think, I think so. We realized he hadn't won playoff.
What Max was saying was like the only thing he remembers is that Puna Ford left the team, so he's like, oh, they must be bad now. How do the Chargers even like come into this equation?
That was kind of crazy. The Chargers got, got put in.
Well, yeah, I was just thinking like Harbaugh's just like—
the Harbaughs aren't good. Is that what you're thinking?
No, I'm— because it's more so coping of like, oh yeah, the Giants could be a threat now Harbaugh's there. And then I really thought about— I was like, I actually thought the Chargers were going to be a threat. The Chargers aren't a threat.
Chargers had the 5th pick and their defense gave up 35 points a game the year before. Horrible.
Okay, Chargers could be— then we, what, won 11 games?
Can't win a fucking play. They're still not like a— they still can't win a playoff game.
Okay, that's facts. He's got you there.
Didn't they acquire some pieces on the offensive line? So maybe not so many sacks this year.
So hopefully health, and then we got, uh, Björn Björnsson, and then we drafted a fucking center who's never played guard in his life to play guard.
So who knows?
But that was a lot of charges.
You know what? You know what? With Shane's preview, Max might be right.
Yeah, I saw— Shane, PFT and I, you saw us. We fucking jumped down Max's throat there. Then we kind of got some clarity and we're like, ah, he's kind of making some good points.
You talked us out of it. Shane talked us out of our rabid defensive.
We were ready to go. And then we realized, ah, nah, he's kind of right.
You guys will probably be healthy this year though.
Yeah.
The thing I love about Shane is like this, that this exchange actually bummed him out hard.
Yeah. Yeah, it did.
We've been together too long. Okay.
And then my cool thing today is going to be SGA because not only did SGA win the MVP again, he also blessed the entire team back-to-back years. I got the guys some gift bags. I saw some customizable golf bags, some trench coat. I never seen a trench coat move before.
That's kind of—
that was quite the gift. Okay, but they did it as a team. And then, uh, also got the boys some, uh, timepiece, uh, situations.
Watch this again.
Yeah, watch this again. But he went, uh, uh, AP Offshore and AP, uh, Royal Oaks.
Mostly AP Offshores.
What are you guys talking about? So like watches? Oh, I'm not a watch guy.
Max is a watch guy. He's on Watch TikTok.
They were giving officially AP Offshore.
So it's like a dive watch, or like you go out like deep, deep sea with it. It's got like more waterproof or how deep does it go, things like that. Uh, decent amount of meters.
What?
Decent amount of meters.
How many?
Top of my head, I don't have that, but I do know that I would guess 300.
All right, well, you're dead at 320. I learned that.
Oh, so the Maldives.
None of those guys are going 120.
Yeah, no, no one's there. It's bullshit. They're selling watches that go that deep when no human goes that deep.
No need for time after AD.
The, uh, the trench coat gift that if you give Chet Holmgren a trench coat, it must be impossible for him to walk around without everybody thinking that it's 3 kids inside there.
Yes. No.
Did you see what the trench coat looked on Chet? No, it was just the most normal looking jacket.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because if I see him, I'm like, there's two kids under there. You're sneaking into a movie.
And there's a lot of people online also saying that SGA might have got banged by the jeweler because they offed a bunch of those Offshores instead of the Royal Oaks to them. So they're moving inventory maybe on SGA.
Okay. What do they call watch TikTok?
Watch talk?
Just TikTok.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, square tick tock.
It took me a while to get there. I got there.
Yep. No, just think about it.
Yeah.
Tick, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
Yeah, that's good. That's good.
All right.
Should we get to our interviews? Elaine Kiffin and Blake Bortles. By the way, we should just say the Blake Bortles interview, I think, is so bad it's good. It was 7,000 degrees in vanity. And also, if you're expecting Blake Bortles to come on any time, If you're expecting us to have a long, nuanced conversation with Blake Bortles, this is not the interview for you.
But we had just finished work in construction.
Yeah, I mean, I think it's funny, but it's also about— you're going to want— you're going to listen to it, be like, what just happened?
I think the van was probably 130 degrees.
It was so bad.
Yeah. Before we get to Coach Lane Kiffin, he's brought to you by our great friends over at Chevy. It's Grit Week, and it's the part of the football calendar where nobody's watching, but everything gets built. Early mornings, pads back on, conditioning, film, reps. Spring training in football is all about putting in the work when nobody's cheering yet. Check out the current offers. Build your Silverado at chevy.com. Check it out. Check out the Silverado at chevy.com. And now here is LSU head football coach Lane Kiffin.
Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very, very special guest. It is LSU head coach Lane Kiffin in his office, and it's Grit Week presented by Chevy. So, Coach, we got a lot to talk about because we spent the whole day with you. But the first question is always on Grit Week. What does the word grit mean to you?
The ability to keep going, like when it gets tough, you know, and you just feel like, yeah, I'm not sure, you know, just the grind of it, the grit down. We experienced it today.
Yes.
Some of your cast, you know, multiple times. There were so many times you and I just looked at each other when they were laying down down and they were quitting. And I just— we didn't say it, but I just knew we were basically saying grit to each other.
Yeah.
And we kept going.
Well, I was also constantly saying, uh, finish strong, because I was hoping that I could gaslight the yoga instructor into being like, all right, that was it. It didn't work. Didn't work.
I did have— you know, there's a mirror in the front, so some of the people afterwards, you know, later in the day, they were like, do you realize he kept yelling like, come on, finish, guys, finish, guys, but you were just laying there?
Yeah.
Oh yeah, every time I was yelling, I was not wounded.
Like, if there wasn't a mirror, that they were like, man, This guy in the back, man, he's freaking grinding.
I realized— yeah, so we did the hot yoga with you at 6 AM.
My theory was every time I started to get tired, I would just hold my fours up. Yeah, fourth quarter. Yeah, even if it was like a third of the way through, a quarter of the way through, if you just put your fours up, you feel like it's the end. So you can give yourself that, that last push.
Yeah, but it wasn't, it wasn't hot yoga. You told us we're gonna go for hot yoga. It was like the first thing that happens when we walk in, like, go grab 20-pound dumbbells. And I'm just doing like hang cleans and Olympic weightlifting in a sauna. 10 minutes in, I was like, I didn't sign up for this, but we did it. We gritted our way through it. I can't believe you do it every day. That's so stupid.
Every day.
That's so dumb.
No matter what.
Every single day.
Non-negotiable.
Non-negotiable.
Can we negotiate that a little bit?
No.
Like, what if— so what if you had a coach that you were trying to hire and you were like, non-negotiable, we got to do yoga every day. He's like, I can't do that.
Not every day.
No, I guess for me, school.
Just for me. Yeah, I make— now in life, I just make non-negotiables. Like, it doesn't matter no matter what. And then I don't ever have to talk to myself. I don't ever have to like go, am I going to— am I going to get up or am I not?
That's smart.
Am I going to eat this or not?
How many—
am I going to drink this or not? If it's just a non-negotiable, it's not even a conversation.
So what are the other non-negotiables?
No bread ever.
Ever.
It's crazy.
Okay, you don't eat sandwiches?
No alcohol? Nope.
All right, wait, the no bread, can we go back to that? I'm gonna just say it, I, I think that makes you less of a football coach. Okay. Because I just think that like part of being a football coach, you've got to get strength from carbs and you're just not doing that.
Okay, then you're really not gonna like the next one because there's no alcohol.
Okay, that's fine.
Yeah, it's not Ditka beer.
No, but listen, I mean, people stop drinking all the time.
Like, yeah, it's good for you, coach. Like, you need beer.
Yeah, okay, so what else?
Bread, pasta, you need those things. And then every day, no matter what, no matter where you are, you're getting up and finding a workout.
So workout, you're not saying hot yoga? Because if—
well, I do the same one here, right? If I'm out of town, it usually is the same thing. Okay, we just find studio.
Okay.
I did notice that more than a few times, I would say probably like 6 or 7 times during the workout, you would get up and you would talk to one of your guys that was in there.
Yeah.
And I was wondering to myself, like, do you get, do you get ideas while you're working out in the morning?
Uh, sometimes, but usually if it's a little slower, yeah. But usually a lot of times I'm just going over, like, it's kind of like a team. Like, if I should have talked to you guys before, first off, there's no yoga in it for the most part. Yes. We just, years ago it started as yoga, years ago, probably 5, 6 years ago in Oxford. Started in a hot yoga studio and it was all yoga, and then it transformed. Just people were like, yeah, we want some more, you know. Like, then it turned into this like HIIT class, like, then it was weights and it was cardio, and then at the end it was just like, all right, fuck it, like, put it all together and just make the hardest shit and the hottest shit that you can. You did that, and that's what it became.
Yeah, you did something very mean to me, which was right at the start you moved me over a little bit and you had this young lady come work out right next to me. And then you're like, yeah, she's a 4-time NCAA champion gymnast. Yeah, enjoy. And then I just sweat on this poor girl's mat the entire time. I do apologize 5 times to her. I was like, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be. I'm a slob. I understand. Listen, I think less of myself than you think of me. So yes, let me just beat myself up. But she was just kicking my ass at this workout the entire time. Time. I don't know if you were doing that to test me or just because you wanted me to get my ass kicked by a girl, but it was a great way to start the day. I had a blast.
It was. Well, there's a couple reasons in there. One, like, if you put greatness around you, then it just brings you up. So she's like the most decorated gymnast in the history of the school, one in the history of all of colleges, Haley Bryant. So she comes to class. So like, I put her there figuring like, okay, if I put her next to you, it's gonna bring you up.
Yeah.
And here's like the greatest of what she's, you know, ever at doing it, you know. Plus, you guys were all back, got in, and we were like all like back tight like this, and it was like kind of 6 dudes, you know. Yeah, it's kind of like the movie theater thing, like, you know, space between each other though, you know, like, yeah. So it was like, all right, let's spread out a little bit here, like, it was, you know, put someone between us, you know. Didn't really know you yet.
Yeah.
And who was the coach who kept on yelling for us to take off our shirts?
That was weird.
Yeah, because we— I literally, I like— he said it like 3 or 4 times to me, Zach, and Max, and I just at one point turned around and I was just like, dude, we're not taking off our shirts. Like, they're not coming off. Yeah, we'll die in here. So that was— listen, I credit to you for getting up and doing that. I actually— I don't know if you saw, but I retired from hot yoga, uh, around 9 AM this morning.
Thank you.
I will never be back. I want to walk at my kid's graduation, so I'm not going to be doing hot yoga. Yeah, ever again.
But I walk around like that because you start to like become a team in it. So it's like you against her, against the instructor. I should have told you guys that before. Like, kind of like, you got to get in like, hey, we don't like her. Yeah, we're not gonna let her beat us no matter what.
I did not like her.
Yeah, no, I, I hated her when she walked in, and I'm like, okay, there's the instructor.
Like, oh boy. Yeah, I was like, this is gonna be a problem. Yeah, she was, she was a problem.
She was also very good at identifying when we were trying to like lay low and not necessarily do all the work. I used to be really good at that back in the day, like If it was basketball practice, football practice, I could tell when the coach wasn't looking.
Yeah.
So I would like slack off a little bit. She, she had eyes everywhere in that room and she would call you out. And that's one of the— in my opinion, that's a, that's a bummer about modern football is like guys like me, we can't get away with that in practice anymore because you put chips in our shoulder pads and you look at everything now.
Yeah.
Too many cameras, too many angles.
Yeah.
For football players. But in there she can see because the mirror too. So even when she's looking that way, she sees in the mirror.
Yep.
To see us, you know, but we were bonding there.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was good.
Back row.
It was good.
All right.
So I actually—
you do realize the back row's actually cooler 10 degrees more than the front. So we're actually in the easier spot.
Well, yeah, there was a, there was a moment where there was a door behind Zach and I, and there was a, I think someone had put like, um, a towel or something underneath the door. And I started ripping at the towel to get a small draft going to our heads. Cause I was, we were like prisoners trying to escape. So it was tough.
It was tough. I saw his face, like, so when someone walked out to get a water and that door opened and he's like, ah, yeah.
Oh, thank you, God. Incredible.
Breathing in there.
I did. I put my face towards it. I was like, give me more of that. Give me— but honestly, it was a good workout. I was telling the guys, I know that Big Cat retired. I'm gonna get into doing yoga. I feel like that's— I retired from running, I retired from a lot of stuff, uh, but I feel like yoga might be a good thing to add to my repertoire. So you— but do you miss doing the yoga now that you've switched over to doing more of the cardio, high-intense stuff?
I do now. On Sunday, it'll be a lot more yoga, you know, kind of like recovery day. And so I do like that. I do like that you change up and you go back to that because that's very non-football.
Yeah. Yeah.
But that really like gets you breathing, gets you kind of out of all the other stuff, you know, and you got to, you got to stay in really uncomfortable things, which I tell the guys, that's why I like bringing our coaches, you know, like you stay in really uncomfortable things in the heat and that's life.
That's here. That's definitely Baton Rouge too. Well, yeah.
Yeah.
It's always hot here. Yeah. It is life.
But it's Still walking outside.
Yeah. All right, so I want to play a game with you. It's, it's called, uh, good, average, bad. So you got to grade yourself. And actually, the first thing is hot yoga. Good, average, bad. What are— how are you at those?
Good.
Okay. Football coaching?
Good.
Breakups?
Bad.
Yeah, really bad, Coach. You're really bad at breakups. You're like actually the worst of all time. Don't go well.
It'll be a good run.
How, how, how are you doing after your breakup? Because do you, you know, do you feel how much the internet kind of, uh, hates you right now?
Yeah.
You do?
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
I've been off for like a week. It was good.
Yeah.
You know, I was like, hey, let me just see what it's like here, you know, to like remove myself a little bit. So I've actually been off for probably a week.
Yeah.
For the first time ever.
Is— do you—
are you—
obviously you guys start the season at Clemson, but you play Ole Miss week 3. Is that already kind of circled in your head, like, okay, this is going to be serious? Like, there's a lot of animosity back back and forth.
Yeah, that was already there. Yeah, that was— I felt that at the airport when we left that. Yeah, you know.
Yeah.
So, um, I've always known that was going to be there.
Yeah, the airport scene was quite something.
Yeah, yeah.
We—
go ahead.
I was gonna say, before you left at the airport, um, like, whose call was it to get Marty Smith to like drive a minivan onto the tarmac before? And like, one last thing before I leave, let me get Marty out here in front of the plane.
That was not mine. Marty was like— it was like Scooby-Doo, like in the, in the minivan like that, you know, like the Shaggy van, whatever it was. Like, he's like coming, driving, driving by. He's like, I gotta get this interview, whatever. I'm like, he called me because he was waiting at the airport, you know, like knowing we, hey, we had to leave through the airport, so he's gonna try to get me there. And he like called me, it's like, uh, I don't think you're gonna be getting through this airport here, buddy.
Yeah, it was some— so like, obviously it's all, the dust has settled somewhat what, but it was chaotic. You were— you had essentially taken, you know, hostage of the internet in this college football world for a week there. And, you know, this happened maybe a couple other times in your career. Would you say— would it be fair to characterize you as a messy bitch?
Messy endings, that's for sure. Um, what's really crazy about the thing is, is my endings in my control. Obviously you get fired, not control, but the two times where you know, the Tennessee and the Ole Miss leaving. I was— I thought I was trying to do right things. Right, right. And obviously they didn't go very well. Yeah.
So it's hard. I mean, it's hard. I will say that it's hard, especially if you're— especially in the middle of the season when you have a college playoff team. Like, that's a very difficult thing to navigate. I don't know what the right answer is. You know, it's kind of— what would be if you could go back and do it differently? Would you do it any differently?
Yeah, I think I would have just came in and said, okay, um, I'm leaving. I'm very appreciative of everything. You know, I spent a lot of time right there fighting to coach the team, you know, trying to keep everything together. Um, totally respect their decision, you know, the athletic director, for that not to happen. I get it. But I was trying so hard to keep that together, like, hey, let us all coach, let this whole thing, you know, let's see if we can go win the whole thing. And so obviously that didn't happen that way, which then created a lot of it because that was a whole night and morning of that. And then what's going to happen? And then the team meeting moved back and all the things that went with that. And then you couldn't have a normal team meeting because at that time it had, you know, gotten into all that. And then, you know, naming of Golding as the head coach. And so, I mean, I don't know how much it would have saved, right? Just going in and saying instead of trying to say, hey, I really want to coach you.
Hey, I'm not coaching.
Win.
I'm taking the job and— right, right. I think you still would— you definitely would have had the airport scene and all that. And, um, but as tough as that is on so many parts, from on them, on me, on walking with a 12-year-old nephew that they're yelling at, all that stuff, that also speaks to the SEC. Oh, I mean, where else does that happen?
Definitely.
That the people that for 6 years loved you, want to build a statue, chant for you at the last game, them to stay, and then they hate you like that.
Yeah.
And then you land, whatever that is, probably 45-minute flight, and then you land here, and the people here that when we would play here were yelling at me, hating me.
Yep.
And saying everything I did was horrible— we love you.
Yeah.
That's also the beauty of this.
Yeah.
No, I agree. I mean, like, Ole Miss fans who are upset, still upset, like, I'm like, that's sports. You have every right to be like that, you know what I mean?
It's— there's—
that's just— people live and die with their teams, and so when things happen, they're going to get emotional. And it's— that's what makes sports great, is fans being invested. Yeah, I think you saw it. Obviously you knew it, but you saw it even more so during the whole thing.
Yeah, I think there's some parts that are kind of funny when you experience you're going through, like, like you said, that's SEC fans and the passion of it and everything that you were doing there. They embraced at the time because you're theirs. Man, this is great, man. Our coach does yoga, you know, right? He's on social media all the time and he trolls the other fans. We love what he he does. And then you leave, and then we're like, we hate him, he does yoga, right? He trolls all the time, right? And the new ones here that hated it are like, we love that our coach does yoga, we've always loved that. And then I love running into people, and you run into people here and they're like, coach, I've always been wanting you. Yeah, you've been my guy all along.
I've always appreciated you.
I saw you yelling at me in this tunnel the one time I left Tiger Stadium.
Yeah, it's interesting because like you were put— then it was a very weird situation this postseason where Ole Miss was on a little run and then you were getting compensated by Ole Miss, but you were the coach of a rival team and it felt like Ole Miss is— their fans didn't want you to be happy with any success that Ole Miss was having. So like, what was that like for you personally watching that team play?
Yeah, that was really hard. And I didn't care less. I know this probably sounds bad about the finance. I didn't even know that was in the contract, you know, that if they won, then I was getting paid through here, you know, like I actually didn't even know until I read about it. I know that sounds crazy.
So you give that money away?
I'm going to call bullshit on that.
No, I really didn't. They put all— that's, that's Jimmy Sexton.
Okay.
And the stuff that you should give the money away.
Give us the money.
Yeah, we'll take it.
Actually, when I read it, I called him like, wait, I don't understand. He's like, well, you know, we put it in there because if you stayed, you were going to get that, right? The new place took you, they're going to pay you it, right, to come.
You should probably pay us for what we did to you on the softball diamond today.
That's, that's valid.
I think that's fair compensation.
But yeah, I really don't, I really don't understand how, as we went to put together teams and I learned about this softball game today, and that you have a real team. Yes, you guys have played a lot before.
We have.
You're undefeated.
Yes, this was not our full team, but yes.
Okay, but you are undefeated and I don't know anything about this, and then we're gonna play So you guys take Sawyer, our best player, and all right, Sawyer, let's go put together our team. He's like, yeah, put together your team. What do you mean you put together my team? He's like, I'm on the other team.
Yeah, but you said he loves us on the field. You were saying you were telling Sawyer he was 0 for 5 today.
He was.
So he got on base 5 times.
We had 5 errors.
That didn't mean—
Yeah, but he really— in the books, he's 0 for 5. He didn't have a hit today.
I want to hear.
And you guys better hire him because he doesn't have a job tomorrow.
I want to hear what it was like for you personally, like watching those games and what that felt like?
Yeah, yeah, that was really tough. Um, you know, especially as you see their faces, you know, walk off as they're losing that game and you're like, okay, it's a one-play game. And then, you know, would it have made a difference if they would have let us coach? You know, and I'm not going to say about myself as the head coach because Pete did a great job, but then that means Pete Goldie would have still been in the press box calling defenses, you know, if we're together. And all our assistants would have been there and strength coach, every, you know, everything would have been together. Is Is that the difference of one play in the Miami game? I would like to think it is.
Yeah.
So you're watching that saying, God, man, we could, we could be going to the national championship. So you feel for the kids in that.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. So let's talk about this year's LSU team. 60 transfers.
Yeah.
What is that like? It's obviously you've seen so much football, coached the NFL, coached in college. Things have changed so much. Like, what does that mean as a head coach when you have to do turnover a roster to that level? Where it's like, I like instilling culture and instilling the type of football players you want. Is it, is it difficult?
Yeah. Yeah. The good thing is we've had some practice, you know, like last year, that team we just talked about that, what, won 13 games, 11-1 regular season. That was actually a rebuilt team. That was not supposed to be our best team. You know, we had lost a lot of players and Jackson Dart, the quarterback, to the first round and a lot of NFL players. So that was a rebuilt team with a ton of portal. Players again. So we have had practice in this in today's era of college football, especially the way we built teams year in and year out there. So we've done this. It is like almost every year you're redoing your culture. This is a little harder because we weren't here. So none of the returning players, even though they're returning to LSU, they don't know our culture.
Right.
So in that way, it's a little bit like an expansion team, you know. But, you know, at the same time, other people are going through the same, same things.
What's the hardest thing, like culture-wise, to instill in a team? Is it like toughness? Is it, you know, smarts to play the way that you want to play? Like whether it be up-tempo offense, like what is the— what's the hardest barrier for you that you find when you're trying to get the guys on the same page?
I think it's really challenging nowadays because it's really hard to get guys to put together individual— put away individual things. You know, everything is so individual-based. And if I play this and I think I'm going to get this contract, I'm going to get this. And so I need my stats, you know, because I got to get in the portal and get paid. So getting guys to really buy into— we understand that, you know, I think that we do a good job of really understanding how they think. So we're not like, hey, you got to be a team, don't care about anything, you know, like that's not realistic, right? You know, but understanding like the, the enjoyment and what they will get out of playing really well as a team, having great years like what we've done previously, and the memories that they'll have from that, right?
You know, um, first everything being individual What about the, the idea of having to de-recruit somebody after they get to campus, like as they already accepted, they're, you know, trying to see where they fit on the team. Some guys need to be humbled a little bit coming into certain times of the year. Is that the same thing like nowadays, or have you found that it's changed with, with NIL and the portal? Like you can't actually de-recruit somebody, you can't— like it's harder to humble these guys.
Yeah, I think you know, within IL and portal, there's a lot of problems that have been created. I think with them getting paid, I don't think that's as challenging. I don't think it's as challenging to get guys to do things because we're paying you. You don't want to do it, there's fine system, you know, just like the NFL. And so it's— I find it's actually easier. They kind of in their mind, you know, think they're like pros now, which is good. That's how we talk to them.
They are.
So you got high expectations. And we get paid. Hey, we expect you to do these things. We expect you to do these things in the weight room, in the film room, all these different things. And hey, if you want to be a normal student and not really do all those things, that's fine. Go see the GM and get back half your money, right? You know, like, if you want to do half the work.
Yeah.
So I think in that way it's a little bit easier that way. Like, hey, you bring them in, hey, this is what you need to do. And if you don't, you know, you're getting fined. There's a fine system for those things. But also, what's going to happen at the end of You get cut.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's true. It's a good point.
If you're recruiting a quarterback, what is it? What does Lane Kiffin quarterback look like if you were to draw it up in the lab?
Yeah. You know, we first off, we adjust really to our quarterback. So it's not like the quarterback's going to look just like this, you know what I mean? We're going to take really good players and over years they look really different. And then we, we move our system around to fit them, you know, what they do best. So we don't look for these specific height, weight, speed, arm, you know, but really competitiveness. You know, they all need to be really competitive. I really like guys that can make the out-of-rhythm plays. You know, we've— we have tried to move more towards athletic move-around guys because in college especially, so much stuff's out of rhythm and it comes down to, hey, we don't make the right calls all the time. They get paid as defensive coordinators too. In this conference, you got really good defensive players and things. And at the end of the day, when that guy comes free and we don't make the right call or the left guard gets beat, do you make a miss and make the third down play? And that's really a lot of times what advances in the playoffs. Yeah.
Deep in the year. Does that guy do it? We get all the credit for coach, man. That was a great job. Well, really, the corner came free and the guy made him— the corner, you know, Trinidad makes a miss and runs all over there, makes the play. That's called good recruiting, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. Was Trinidad one of those guys where it's like you— he obviously was an unheralded guy. Guy, and what was it about him that you're like, okay, we can work with that and we can make a system around his strengths?
Yeah, well, you— one, you look at— he's a winner, so highly competitive, um, winner, just won the national championship as a quarterback. And you know what's interesting, you know, we messed around, we're gonna go play pickleball today, but you guys said you weren't any good at that, so we—
yeah, it's not a real sport.
Listen, when, when we know we're gonna lose, we don't play.
Okay, yeah. So I played when we first got Trinidad I went and played pickleball with him. He never played. And the way he picked up and the competitiveness that he had and his hand-eye coordination, you could tell like this guy was really elite special. So we're just playing pickleball.
So what you're saying is that not playing pickleball with you today, we missed a potential tryout to be your starting quarterback?
Yeah.
Is that fair to say?
That is. Yeah.
Damn, that sucks.
And you could just be like, what's going on? Like in the NCAA and like things like you can be old.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. And everything. And then we'll just be like, You guys just got to pass up—
we'll just get in the jump with the Celtics last year.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll just get a judge down here in the county and then just say, yeah, big cat's good, ready to go.
Yeah.
All right, so, and then what about Sam Levitt, your quarterback, who's awesome, played at Arizona State, took their team to the, to the playoffs? What, what do you see in him that you're like, this is a guy? And maybe what, what's the system like? Is the system shifting here with what you're going to try to do that may be different than last this year?
Yeah, I think what we see in him is some similarities. You know, winner, highly competitive. You know, he took the team to the playoffs, you know, 2 years ago. Made a lot of plays, you know, where things broke down, he had to make plays with his feet. And he's really, really competitive and smart, really student of the game, loves watching it. He actually has been very limited because of surgery in what he could do, but the way that he's approached the game and how serious he is about being great, it's awesome to be Yeah, we saw him actually in the locker room.
We did.
He's throwing like— he was like, oh yeah, I'm going to throw from 10 to 12 tomorrow. He's talking to a player.
It's like, all right, there was a—
he's offseason.
One anonymous player that we spoke with wanted me to ask if you're a big Dash Pro fan. I don't know what that means.
I don't either.
Dash Pro.
I feel like I'm just—
I think he wants you to run your play from—
tell us you're keeping a secret play from us.
No, I thought that was like one of those things that the kids say nowadays.
I'm supposed to ask, bro, how many secret plays do you have?
There are a lot of gas secret plays. They're called gas.
Okay, what is that?
Gas means like you go really fast and just give it one word and you got to memorize everything around it.
Okay, okay. But is there like a—
sorry, I feel like we're going to name gas plays after this. We name after people too.
Oh, okay, nice, nice.
Like we'll have like Gas Big Cat.
Yeah, that one's slow down. That one's slow down and lay down and say finish strong. Yeah.
Or we put like iconic people at the school. Yeah, we have Gas Libby Dunn.
Yeah.
And then it's a certain play and it's, you know, names they can remember.
Can we give you one that maybe you can use this year? Gas Zach.
Mm-hmm. That's our guy.
Gas Cornelius.
I know, I know.
You know Zach. I know. We know what you're talking about, Zach.
Gas Zach would be a slowdown play.
I mean, that's—
that's definitely a slowdown play. Hey guys, here's the play. We're going to take all of the clock up.
Yeah.
The guy can't wake up with his damn alarm.
Yeah.
You know, like, so So, yep, yeah, maybe that could be like in the gameplay.
Yes, yes, yes, burn clock, clock, clock.
Yes, burn clock.
Yeah, I like that a lot. You should— yeah, like, you know, they got—
hey, that's, that's it for now. You know, they're like, milk the clock. We see milk the clock. Oh yeah, Zach the clock.
Zach the clock.
Take it down all the way. I don't care what happens, you do not wake up and get done early.
What's beautiful about this moment right here is like, there's an outside chance that 60 years from now and football coaches are just going to call it Zaching the clock, Zaching the clock, and it's from right— it's from this moment right now.
Yeah, maybe Bill Belichick will use it.
Yeah.
You know, since I saw the thing where he did the clock.
Yes. Yes.
I don't think he'll be around in 60 years.
Yeah. He gave him maybe, maybe science is crazy.
He never knows.
That brain is nuts.
His girlfriend will be around.
Yes, she will. Jordan, our queen, our queen.
Keeps him young.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pardon my cheesy.
Maybe that's what he's thinking.
Yes. Yes, exactly.
Science, he'll still be around.
All right. I have a question from an LSU fan. Our friend Van Lathan, I texted him because he's from here and he's a big LSU fan. I was like, hey, what, what do LSU fans want to know from Lane Kiffin? And he said, what will he do to make them play like the animals we've seen in the bayou?
Yeah, yeah.
Because that is something about LSU football where it's like, even the ups and downs, there's a physicality that LSU football kind of always brings, especially on the defensive line, where you're like, oh man, dude's just absolutely destroying people. So what What are you gonna do to make that, that culture continue?
Yeah, that was one of the first things was like I said, it was like we need to return LSU physical style the way that it was, especially defense, when you were scared to play LSU, man. I was at Alabama, I was at these other places, and it was always like, shit, one, you got to play LSU defense, and if you got to play them in Tiger Stadium, yeah. Yeah, so to get that back, one, players, get those type of players, you know, um, but then also that mindset, like, hey man, they got to come play you and you got to train that way, you got to think that way, like, you're at LSU and this is— and we do that. When you say de-recruit them, it's not as hard because we sit here on this couch with them and in recruiting or in the portal say, this is what it's gonna be, it's gonna be really, really hard here, we're gonna work you really hard, you're gonna put a lot of time in, it's gonna be really physical and intense. So that's how we're going to train. So if you don't want that, that's okay, but don't come here, right?
And that's, that's how you got to do it here and get those type of guys that have that mindset, that match the fans, that match the stadium, so that they're, they're working together. It is because you really do work together here. I've been on the other side when it's working together in the stadium and the players are, are in that tough phase and the fans come. Yeah, I feel like that weight on the other sideline, like, whoo.
Yeah, no, we've, we've said we've come to a couple of games here and it is the best. Like whenever someone asks me like, hey, where should I go see a game? And like, you got to go to LSU on a Saturday night. And I mean, I'm a Wisconsin fan. I'm not trying to blow smoke. It's just the sound here is just different. It sounds like lightning and thunder when you come out. It's different standing on the field.
When you said that you had a question from an LSU fan, I thought you were going to say Ben Mince.
Oh yeah.
Where did that one come from?
He's got a question for you, which is, do you Do you hate me?
No, you should, you should. It's okay.
I've been on social media for a week, so maybe he's done something, I don't know.
Oh, probably.
Yeah, no, that's just the beauty of being off of it, I've realized, because now people hate you, you don't even know it.
Yes, yes.
It's like it's not really happening.
It's true.
Yeah, it's not. If you don't look at what Tyler, the Creator, say, like, you're getting cyberbullied, just turn your phone off.
Yeah, it's because it's not happening.
Yeah, then it's gone.
But yeah, you know, you can hate him. It's okay. He's He's, he's a hateable person.
Really? Yeah.
Well, I mean, he's just—
he's a nice guy.
He's very hateable.
Yeah. I like him.
I feel like he means well.
Yeah, he does. He does. I will say he means well. He definitely means well.
Please, you know, both sides.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little too much.
Yeah, that might be actually like he FaceTimed me before, like the playoff game in the car and he's like being all nice and everything. But then, then Ole Miss fans are mad at him for being nice. And so then he tries to like go back and be nice to them.
He is very good at finding a way to get like the maximum amount of people mad at him.
It's a good skill.
Yeah, he always—
I got it.
Yeah, he just—
I'm good at it.
He gets it. Yeah, that's true. You guys, you might be the Ben Mince of college football.
Oh no, come on. Oh no, oh no. Actually, no, I read the Vanity Fair interview. You're the opposite of Ben Mince and his— some of his mistakes.
That's true, that's true, that's true.
Um, would you say that you're more of a, a part of my take podcast guest and maybe less of a Vanity Fair profile guy?
Yeah, in the future.
Yeah, yeah.
Why did you do that? Because you wanted nice pictures.
That's our SID's idea right there.
There it is.
You— because I've told you before, you know, Michael, I was like, what are we doing? He's like, you know, this is a different— this is not sports. These are new people, you know, that'll get to hear about LSU and everything, you know. They'll do a really good job. They'll come in here, you know, they're not many questions and stuff, and they're here for like 4 hours and then And it became what it became.
You should have taken him to hot yoga because that's—
you—
I— there was a strategy today where you were just like, we're gonna tire them out so to the point where they can't even think when they interview me. Yeah, so it's good. And I just called you the Ben Mince of college football. That, that was not a real thought.
You're doing—
it just came out of dehydration.
Gets so bad that your brain—
I'm a bad teammate right now. If I pissed on one of those strips, it'd be like, you gotta, you gotta drink 16 ounces ASAP.
You see those?
You see those in the bathroom? It's like if like orange.
Yeah, he's got the strips you piss on.
What were you?
I, I didn't, I didn't get one of the strips. I just saw the sign.
Yeah, I was solid orange all day yesterday.
All day.
And I, so I can't imagine what I'm like after.
Although you got hydration today at, uh, yeah, nutrition. Yeah, hydration in your juice place.
That was a good time.
Speaking of juice, this will be the only, uh, like hard-hitting journalism question I asked today.
Yeah.
Um, one of the big things that came out of the breakup at Ole Miss was, do did you actually own that dog Juice?
Yeah.
So I want to give you some space to clarify and think carefully. Mm-hmm.
Because this is gonna be a gotcha.
People will look into it. What was your relationship like with Juice, and what is it like to this day?
I feel like it's one of those, like, number of awesome things, like what we said. You're theirs, everybody loves you, and then you leave, and then it's like everything changes to, like— and that was one of the really good ones. Like, you know that he didn't even know Juice. It's fake. You know, it was just a— it was just a stunt, you know, PR stunt that I had this dog, you know. Like, we got— Landry actually picked the dog out, went out to Wild Rose Kennel. She wanted a dog because she had just moved from California, and so she picked out Juice. And, um, that's really it. We didn't even have a plan for him to be this mascot or any of the things that happened, and she just kind of ran into that.
So was it your dog?
Yes.
In your house?
In my house. Now, oh, now Tom, our dog trainer guy at Wild Rose, okay, okay. Tom would keep him at times because of my schedule.
For how long?
You know, once Landry went to— I first had him every day.
Okay.
Like, you know, kid, and then like the parent, you know, like sharing.
Yeah.
And then when Landry went to college, okay, now nobody was at the house, right?
Oh, you're busy.
So Tom would keep him a lot, you know, like like during the week, then, you know, like I'll get him back on Thursday, you know, and be with us for the weekend and then go back. Okay, so that's, that's why I was kind of like joint custody at a point there.
Yeah, divorced dog dad is what I'm hearing, which is better than going like the Kristi Noem route with things with a dog. Yeah, but so then after you left, where's— so where's Juice now?
Okay, so Juice has gone back and forth because I don't have a house yet. Okay, okay, so Juice Juice has gone back and forth, and I got to get a house.
Okay, to get Juice?
Yes, because at first I did bring him here.
Okay.
And then like there's his little dog, you know, bed over there.
Confirmed.
It doesn't look like a dog's ever been in that bed.
There's hair.
There's hair. Okay, DNA test. Okay, okay, swipe.
Okay. But then we had a problem. What's the dog gonna do all day? Because I don't have a house. So then he was up here and he's here all day, like, and it was kind of like, okay. Yeah. And so I'm like, okay, Tom, like people are going back and forth, you know, like, so then they drove him back up and then Tom would keep him for a little bit and he'd come down and visit a little bit.
So, okay, so Tom has a dog right now?
Tom physically has a dog right now.
He physically has. So we called, we FaceTimed Tom. Yes, he could show us proof of life of Juice.
Yes, this is true.
All right, go ahead, we can do it.
Sorry, FaceTime Tom.
How committed are we to, to getting Juice on campus? Like, first time you have a night game I'm sure Kirk Herbstreit's going to bring one of his, like, several dogs here. Yeah. Can we get— will Juice be on camera once the season starts?
Yeah, he'll be here by then. We'll have a house by then.
Okay.
I just was so focused on spring ball.
Yeah.
And then, like, I was close to a house and it fell through. And so, like, I don't have the house yet, you know, to, like, need the house to get the house, then the dog. If we came down, we needed two houses. So too much information.
But, you know, exactly what I want to say.
Knox the son and then Leo the ex-wife, like, we moved down. Well, but we live separate. Sex wife.
Yeah.
So we gotta get two houses both places. We had two in Oxford. Well, she has two dogs there, so then you gotta get two here. We got her to one, found hers. Didn't find mine yet. And she's got the two dogs, they don't get along with Juice, so that was part of it.
Okay, okay.
This is, this is exactly what I want to find out.
We're getting to the bottom of this.
Yeah, blended families, you know.
Yeah, yeah. Brandon Walker does not think that Juice is real.
It's my guy.
Yeah, he is your guy. He's actually the embodiment of the SEC where it's like he hated you.
Exactly.
Then you left, he's like, lovely. Great, he's doing it for me.
So you haven't been online, but for the last week or so, Brandon has been like the number one defender of you.
I feel like he's been for a while.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's really glad that you left.
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. He's like— actually, I feel like why, why I was there, he would actually say Lane Kiffin is the best coach in college football because he would— you want to get me out?
Yeah.
So he, he actually thought like ADs would listen to him.
Yes.
So hey, if I say he's great, yeah, maybe the LSU and Florida AD will listen to Brandon.
Oh, they do. He's the number one college football, uh, analyst.
Maybe they do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe they bring him to SEC meetings. He could rank the potential coaches. Yeah, he loves doing lists.
He loves doing lists.
Would it be safe to say though that like you're talking about like messy divorces, your divorce from FAU is maybe the cleanest?
Yeah, like, yeah.
So in the future, if people accuse you of being messy with these things, be like, hey, go talk to FAU.
I did it good once.
Yeah, they'll, they'll say nice things about me.
One time I did it.
And actually, the more when people say like, oh, teams are distracted, they can't play well, you know, that was the whole thing kind of at the end, like they're not going to be able to play well, they're too distracted Ole Miss team. Like, that started when we were playing at Oklahoma, you know, and they were not going to play well. And then the Egg Bowl, they certainly can't play well because they're distracted because everybody's saying their coach is leaving. Well, we played really well. At FAU, actually, I take the Ole Miss job that morning of the conference championship. We don't play till later in the day. The players are actually seeing it. We're telling them. They're seeing it on SportsCenter that we're leaving. And then we go win by like 40 in the conference championship game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
As long as you're open with them. Yeah, just like at Ole Miss. I told them all along, like, I don't know. I know this. You'll never find a recruit or a parent. Normally when you leave, they say, well, man, he told us he was going to be here, you know, when we signed, or be here forever. I never once said— they'd always ask me, they'd sit right on the couch and say, hey, are you going to be here forever if we come to Ole Miss? I said, I don't know that. I said, I know I love it here, but I can't tell you I'm going to be here forever. Yeah, I was always upfront with them.
Yeah.
Yeah, we are on a group chat together and we go back. We bounce a lot of ideas off each other. How would you say your understanding of me and Big Cat's—
Tom? Okay. Okay.
We're FaceTiming. How would you rank me and Big Cat's contributions to that group chat in terms of plays that we can think about running next year?
Well, yeah, we fell into a problem because first off, our group chat was us.
Yeah.
Sawyer, that now works for us here, that came with us when he was on the first brigade. It was called First Platoon. Yeah, that's what they named it. Like, the people got on the first plane. Well, there were two planes.
Yeah, thank you for the service.
Yep.
Because some people were like, okay, you know, like, hey, okay, we're coming. And then all of a sudden that shit got like a little crazy and people were like, ooh, we're not sure we're getting on the plane.
Yeah, no, everyone's like, hey, where's Glasscock? We gotta find them.
Yeah, yeah, where's Glasscock and Joe Cox?
Yeah, right, we gotta find these guys.
Yeah, supposedly they're coming. And then like they were all saying they're coming, and then all of a sudden Golding starts talking to him and then they're like, hey, be careful if you go that if you go out there, man, there's a lot of people at that airport, you know, it's really ugly. And then like they start FaceTiming each other, hey, are you on the plane? Yeah, are you on the plane? Yeah. So anyway, um, yeah, the 1st Brigade. So he gets on— well, we leave, we leave Fisher. Yeah, you know, which is okay, great guy. He got married, you know, and then like, you know, his wife's there and it was complicated, so they stayed there. All right, well, he was still in our group chat at that point, so we're talking plays, scheme, and we're like, a lot of stuff you guys give us, we actually implement.
High-intel fake punt, punt, that kind of stuff.
Yeah, now it's an operational security issue.
Laterals on normal down distance.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
So we had to get him out of it, out of it. So it's a big time— I mean, there's two— I got a lot of group chats of really kind of like high-level people, really high-level thoughts. You know, you got elite SEC coaches in one, you got some other people in that I won't talk about, you know. And then there's ours.
You should throw Pete Carroll in ours. Just toss them in.
Yeah, that's true.
He does like that. He likes outside the box.
Yeah, okay. He's never heard of fake punt punt. I showed you it worked. I sent you that clip. Yeah, it worked. I can't remember who it was, like a Division III team, but it worked. They did not see that coming.
Is there a, uh, is there actually like an SEC head coaches group chat?
Yeah, there's two. There's the one with everybody, uh-huh, you know, that they have so that like the assistant commissioner can have it in it, you know, like so that all the coaches, if they kind of like tell us something they're thinking about, rule change, you know. And then there's like one kind of created on our own, you know, that's just like some select ones. Not that we're better than anybody, just, right, you know, that we're close. And so we kind of bitch about things together or throw ideas out in there together and stuff, you know.
Like, can I guess—
talk bad about the other coaches, you know.
Can I guess who's in it?
I don't know if I'm allowed to say it because Kirby's made a rule that— that's— everybody knows Kirby's in it, so I didn't just—
okay, so there's one. Yeah, yeah.
Sark, we know, for sure. Friends of Sark.
So doing well.
That was really easy.
Okay, but here, here's, here's the deal. I've gotten in trouble for this before because I've talked about this with people. I think, I think it was Theo Von's podcast, and he like— and Kirby's like, dude, it's Fight Club, man. You can't talk about—
yeah, this group.
You can't talk about what happens in here. And you keep breaking the rule, and you're the one that started the group, you know, like.
So do you think maybe they started a new group chat without you because they can't trust you and yours? I don't want to put that thought in your head. That's a mean thing for me to do. Um, when was the last time you talked?
It is crazy because the group group has 6 people. Okay, all right, now again, but then there's so many separate ones because there's basically like a group— there's, there's every group that doesn't have each one of them in it one time, right? So like, hey man, you know, like that guy really just got smoked Saturday, and like, you want to say something funny Saturday night, you know, or like send something? Yeah, yeah, that's kind of funny, or some videos, you know, like, yeah.
Who added Summerall to it? Was that you, or did somebody else do that?
And he's not in ours, but good job.
Okay, so we can just—
what was the last time you talked to Brent Venables?
Um, I'm good with him, but I—
all right, that's another one that's not— yeah, okay. All right, so now we're getting somewhere.
Uh, so what does Steve Elko think about the price of crude oil these days? Like, I know that's right tied in with like all the boosters.
Steve?
Oh, Steve? Yes, Mike Elko. Sorry, that's all right. Steve Elko.
Elko.
Elko.
You know Elko. Oh, we got it! We got Juice. This is gonna be huge. You do?
Yeah.
No, no, hold on. Tom? Yeah? How you doing? Can we see Juice, please?
Uh, how's this thing?
Please produce Juice.
Okay, he's trying to figure out how to flip the camera, which— okay, I can tell he's actively working working. There's Juice.
Nope, that's just— nope, that looks like a drawing of a dog.
Can we see the tag?
Yeah, we can see it. We can see Juice.
Can we zoom in on the tag, please?
Uh, yeah. All right, we're gonna need, uh— oh yeah, there's Juice. We're gonna—
yeah, so Brandon— yeah, Brandon really says that Juice doesn't—
yeah, Tom, we're gonna need a couple, uh, mouth swabs just to confirm that Juice is real. So just send that to us.
He trusts me. That's what I do for a living.
He's real.
Wait, do me a favor. Call his name. Walk to the other side of the room and call name.
I bet you Juice's head will turn if I whistle. He knows my whistle.
Okay, all right, hold on, this is big.
Here, here, Juice, sit.
Okay, this is— this is going to— kind of said Juice after here. I needed you to say Juice first.
Can you just hold the camera really close to his tag? Yeah, can you zoom in on his tag, please?
Wait, on his what?
On his tag, his name tag. No name tag?
Yeah, we'll blur this.
Coach, he's a hunting dog, they don't put tag on them.
Tom, go in the other room and call, call Juice's name.
What do you think, they have like the dog bone with the like the address on there?
It's like a real hunt. Here he goes, here he goes. Just start with Juice.
Juice!
All right, confirmed, confirmed.
Thank you, Tom, we appreciate it. No problem. All right, see ya. All right, all right, you know what, you got us.
Yeah, yeah.
He's actually like a world-class hunting dog. So he's like— it's like the Manning of dogs. Like when you go out there to like their facility, people fly planes in to get these dogs or anything. And like Juice's grandfather's like on the wall, you know, in front of magazines. Like, so he's like world-class hunting dog. It's like a Manning of dogs, of like hunting. And so like we have this dog— I don't know anything about hunting, whatever— but yeah, so he doesn't have a name tag. Like, like, yeah, like you talk about coaches are supposed to drink beer, like tough hunting dogs. They don't have like a name tag.
Yeah, no, like their address.
Naked.
Yeah, but that was Juice.
I can confirm that was confirmed.
Your dog, Tom's probably like, what the fuck?
No, this is big. This is actually like the most— like, Pablo Torre better watch out because we might get a Pulitzer.
We just found out that your dog is real.
Anything to prove Brandon wrong.
Oh man, that's great, that's great. Hey, so do you think of, uh, offensive— new offensive plays just randomly? Like when you're back to like our group chat, because we're obviously giving you some great stuff to think about. Um, but are you like walking down the street or at hot yoga and it's just like your brain just starts thinking, oh, what if I did this with the receiver? What if I did this as a backfield?
Yeah, so voice memos. I've learned to use voice memos a lot, like Charlie Weiss. So like I'm laying there getting ready for bed or something like that, you know, like you're laying sudden just pops in, you know, it's like dark, so like you can't really text and all that. You don't want to like wake up and see the screen. So I just voice memo him, hey, what if we put the receiver down in this way? Hey, what if we thought about this tomorrow? Remind me of this in the morning. Voice memos.
Okay, so that's— I mean, that's cool to just be thinking.
Like, you could do that like on Friday nights to me. Yeah, in our group chat, like when you're just kind of laying there, you know, like, or you're at the bar or whatever, you know.
I don't really go to the bar.
Yeah, okay, but you think of something, just voice me. Hey, Coach coach tomorrow, man, I think you should run this the first play.
Shark wheel.
Shark wheel. Yeah, just hit it. Shark wheel. Spam it against Ole Miss week 3. Shark wheel.
Shark wheel.
Shark wheel. Good.
You get Sam Leavitt out in space. Yeah, you, you put the linebackers in complete conflict. You're ready to go. That's shark wheel. Was it hard to—
I love how your group just nods at you.
Yeah, well, they know because I won a couple national titles playing the video game, and, uh, I think I ran Shark Wheel 90% of the time.
What's the most you've ever run?
Now I recalled a video game.
Yeah, I won a title here at LSU. 1-1 at Tennessee, 1-1 at LSU. I was—
yeah, this is when they first put like the coach— you can be the coach and like draw yourself.
I know I should remember this, but it was during COVID when we had no sports. I bought the old game from 2014 and just started streaming myself playing it, and I would I just, like, I went through multiple seasons losing in like horrific ways, and it kept building and building, and we had no sports. So like by the end, 100,000 people were watching. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah, Shark Wheel. Yeah, I'll know it when I see it.
I feel like I know something about this too. Like, I, like, I think I tweeted something at you about this or something, like you were playing, like, hey, you, we could beat you.
Because I, I did beat Ole Miss a couple times because I was in the SEC, both with Tennessee.
But wait, weren't Like a small team or something?
I started at Toledo and then I went—
Oh, you got new head jobs?
Yeah, I would go around. I was FSU, Texas Tech, USC, hopped around. Yeah, won some natties.
I do remember that.
You don't have—
Well, actually, like what Big Cat went through with those fan bases, pretty similar on a video game. No, he had people that were mad at him for leaving their schools.
Yeah, like, how was you?
He knew exactly what you go through.
Yeah, and things—
I had people at the airport when I would leave just yelling shit at me, like, sorry, I gotta go.
It would be awesome actually if they made the game And then when you do, like, you know, you get better jobs. Yeah. Like, you move on. And like, in what you're saying, you know, she's over, you move on. And then they like show the people, like, at the airport, you know, they're burning things on campus. Yeah, great.
He would spam the same play. Like, have you ever done that to an opponent? Like, run the same play 10 times in a row?
Yeah, uh, we can actually say this now. Um, Mulligan, it was. So if you said Mulligan Mulligan. That's all you had to say. All the players knew to run the exact same play. And you just— and then like sometimes it would hit and you'd be like, mulligan.
Yeah, keep going. One more.
Yeah, we actually did Ole Miss-Alabama in the COVID time when there's really high scoring game.
Yeah.
And that year I was like 50-something to 48 or something. We lost Alabama, but we kept running the same play like 4 times in a row. Mulligan.
What was it?
It was like a zone play with with the tight end sliding back and he hit like on third and forever and then we just kept running it.
Yeah, that's, that's gotta be cool.
Yeah, that's got to feel incredible.
Yeah.
Uh-huh. Um, have you talked to Coach O at all? You, you obviously have history with him and we love Coach O. Yeah. Um, we'd love to see him back. We'd love to see him back. He needs to be back. You know he needs to be back. We got to get him back. This is home. Yeah. Well, here you, you might not be on the crawfish with him No, not yet. Oh, he might see me. Yeah.
Okay.
What was the— when you were with him at Tennessee, what was the projector story from your, from your point of view? Can you set the scene for, for what Coach O did with the projector before? I think it was Tennessee-Alabama.
I got so many. Give us your Coach O stories. No. Are you just— I don't even remember, like where he broke the projector.
He smashed it against the wall. As your opening act. That's, that's tough to follow.
That's like nothing. He, he used to actually like smash the projector and like everything in like the meeting room in the hotel like the morning of the game.
Get everyone fired up.
Like they come in like, hey, you're small time. Yeah, you know, fired up. And we like come down, like me and start—
we was—
this was like, we're all assistants or, you know what I'm and he was like, Coach Carroll be like, all right, get them going. Coach, I got them now. We're going to get them going. Sark and I are like, it's like 8 hours before kickoff. Like, what are we doing here? Because we're more like, hey, let's just like show them plays, give some tips and reminders. Let them go back upstairs, you know, like lay around. And Coach is like, we got to get them going. Like, okay, it's 7:00 AM. We don't play for 8 more hours.
It works though.
No.
Yeah.
And they just break shit.
Yeah.
And then they just start breaking shit. And then like our director of football ops, like, on Monday be like, uh, here's our bill, like, because we broke a chandelier from everything, like, in the whole, like, hotel room, you know, like, morning of the game to, like, get him going.
That's how he gets him going.
This is wartime, we got to take it outside.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
Does, uh, does Hypel emphasize things or thumbs up them, or does he write back on the group chat?
No.
That's smart.
No, he's not on there.
He's on the big one.
He's on the big one.
Okay, he's on the big one.
He's on the big one.
Confirmed on the big one.
He's on the—
here's the sad thing, and this happens in the side one, so I'll give you this. I mean, at the end of the year, things change. Yeah, so the big group chat changes, and then everybody would be like, in our little one, like Kirby Rodex, like, I'm breaking the rules right now, but whatever. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's okay. I've not been a big rule follower in interviews anyway. What the heck? And he'll be like, okay, who's gonna take him out of the conversation? Like, the guy just got fired, you know?
Like, yeah, he's gonna remove them.
Yeah, that's a sad moment where it's like Billy Napier has left the conversation.
Yeah, just feel like—
yeah, well, it's worse— no, when they don't leave on their own, right? So one of us has to take them out.
Yeah, yeah, that is tough.
But then also, that's kind of funny for everybody else. Like, in a sad way, it's funny for everybody to like look at that and it's like, what about like somebody removes you?
It's like Big Cat removed, right?
So you had to remove Mark Stoops?
Um, no. Oh, I know what we did. No, no, no, I know what we did. Now I remember. Here's what we did. We just started a new one so nobody ever saw the guy.
Yeah, you have like the—
but then I screw up because sometimes I just like, all right, name the new one. I go to send it and they'll— they say all the time like, I send more things times 10 than everybody, right?
You're that guy.
Yeah, I'm that guy. Yeah, like basically sometimes I feel like I'm like talking to yourself. Yeah, yeah, like one other person. And I'll be like, Sark, I guess we could just like have our own conversation. So then like, then you start the new ones, but here's the problem, they're not named, right? So then like, hey, I want to like go, and I'm like, okay, I'm going to send this picture to our group or whatever it is or something like this. And so like, all right, Barbie, and then it pulls up like so many. So I'm like, oh, here's one with everybody, you know, and it says this. And then they're like, said to you, just text the old one, right? You know, so it's like, yeah, you just confirmed that one. I told you, he's actually like—
that's a bad—
him and I've been the longest standing members.
Yeah, yeah. But that's a, that's a tough move when that happens. I, you know, you gotta— you, what you got to do is you got to name it. You also got to change the picture.
Yeah.
The picture is what is what like catches your eye. You're like, okay, this is the the new one. Yeah, that's the move.
There's just a lot that says SEC head coaches.
Just put us in there and we'll, we'll police it.
Can we be a silent partner in that group chat? We won't respond. I promise you I won't abuse privilege.
There's so much great stuff in there.
I bet we could respond if you want. We'll just thumbs up shit. I don't care.
What's, what's, what is the picture at the top? Is it just the SEC logo? Yeah, that rocks. That's classic.
That's cool. That is, that's like a class Yeah, that's an all-class— is the SEC dead though? Because the Big Ten kind of whoops the SEC now.
It's fair. Yeah, it is a fair statement.
It is.
Why do you think it's been so long since the SEC won a natty?
It's like there's, there's like 4-year-olds that never seen an SEC win.
My 4-year-old son Chris has actually— yeah, he just thinks that the Big Ten is just the Big Ten. He doesn't even know about the SEC.
Um, there's a lot into that. I think that, um I think it's set up in a good way for the top-heavy teams there right now. I think now— and it's going to get better. We're going to 9 games, and our bottom is harder than theirs, okay? And our bottom stadiums, you know, are harder than theirs. So we're going to beat each other up more, and they're going to sit up there and have 2, 3 hard games a year, you know? And so their top teams and our top teams games when they go to the playoffs, okay, they're in better shape. That, that stuff matters, you know. It's why, like, I've always been an opponent to stay at 8 games and let us make our own— whoever we want to play in knockout, don't tell us who we have to play, right? And we would do like the model of the last place I was just at. Look at our— we went 20-0 in non-conference regular season games at Ole Miss. 20-0. We didn't play any of them big, like, openers. This place went, you know, 4-year span, lost 3 or 4 openers.
Yeah, they had played hard games.
So you played— yeah, that's so great, whatever. Well, you don't get rewarded for it because it's not worth enough in the strength, but also that schedule where half your games you don't have to get up for, it's just a, it's a mental toll that you got to play when you're getting up for. Plus also, man, your good players are out by the fourth quarter, so your play count at the end of the year is less. One of the really good teams there rested a couple of their good players in games at the, in conference games at the end of the year so they could be in better shape for the, for the playoff run, which is now longer. And I think as you look at our model, Ole Miss like that schedule, we played 8 home games last year. Okay, look, that team was in really good shape physically and mentally to go into the playoffs.
Yeah, you almost lost to Washington State.
Yeah.
And that was the, that was the rat poison game where we, we gave you guys rat poison. We tweeted, I look like a genius. I was like, this is the biggest trap game ever, take Washington State. And then you, you put it in front of your team and I almost was right.
Right.
I almost— you guys almost fucked that up.
So watch this. This is why scheduling matters. Okay, so was that the hardest non-conference team out there? No. Nope, we're not playing Ohio State or something. So we'll include this in our group chat. What we have figured out is basically every year you're gonna have a blackout game, good and bad. Yep, it's just what's gonna happen. The ball is going to go that way, man. Someone's going to get hurt. Like, everything's going to go good in one game. You have blackout game, man. Like, it might be a side of the ball, right? But in every year you're gonna have a blackout bad game. Can you survive the bad blackout? Well, if that day of your bad blackout you're playing somebody that's not great, maybe you can survive it. We played horrible that day. No energy. 11 AM kicker. Just what happened.
Yeah.
And we survived it, right? We survived our blackout game, right?
Because that, that is always interesting to me is like, as a college coach, how do you, after a big win— like, they are kids at the end of the day. Like, there's obviously, there's some, you know, guys that are playing in their mid-20s, but there's a lot of 18, 19, 20-year-old kids who have a huge moment and then they got to go play the next week. How do you, how do you get off the mat? How do you get them to turn the page? Because just human nature, when you do something very, like, incredible, successful, that you're gonna, you're gonna bask in it for relief syndrome.
That's what happens. That happens to adults, right? NFL player, you have that game, the letdown game. So it certainly happens in college. It happens to all of us. It's really hard to battle against relief syndrome. Like, we're good, I got this, man. We just won that game. And now it's harder than ever because what do they do all day long? Read about how great they are. This is how great they are. This game, they know spreads. They know like how, hey, we're not supposed to lose this game more than— they didn't even like see that stuff, right? It's not like they're reading a paper back in the day. So now they see all that, so it's even more that— that's why you got to try to get them to understand, like, every game, man, is independent of every other game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, really, it really is.
It's hard to do.
And every game is independent in every, uh, every game, previous game, and it doesn't matter, man. If you beat him before and you guys— we got to go play you, it doesn't matter that I beat him but you didn't— like, you lost him. All that shit doesn't matter.
Yeah, every game's independent. That, that, that narrow victory that you had against Ole Miss helped me because I went to James Madison, so we also narrowly beat, uh, Washington State. And then I got to be like, well, Ole Miss, they're a tough team. Ole Miss struggled with them too.
So basically you would beat Ole Miss.
Yeah, so basically we beat them. Actually, by the— I think we might have beaten you. Yeah, by the property last year.
Yeah, they whooped you.
Yeah, we kicked your ass. Yeah, yeah, overrated.
Um, then how's that belt taste?
So, so our, our former coach Signetti He went to Indiana, has obviously been on an incredible run. How much do you adjust things? Like, you get, you get somebody like him that comes in, wins at a place that nobody thinks you'd be able to win at. How do you adjust what you're doing, or do you change anything at all based on how he has, uh, chosen to like attack the portal, build a team? Like, do you, do you change anything about the way you operate?
Yeah, we don't because there's a lot of similarities there about building through portal and, you know, how to invest in which players and top players and stuff. So I think there's a lot of similarities in the models of how the teams were built, you know, portal heavy, not traditional national high school, you know, 5-star players. So there's a lot of similarities in the models of how we do it.
Yeah. Was it hard to keep Whit Weeks here?
Yeah. I mean, he was thinking about going Yeah. And what I just asked, I feel like it really wasn't a professional question, but I'm gonna— I was asking— I'm gonna answer it professional.
That was a professional question. Okay. What was it like re-recruiting Whit Weeks?
I almost leaned into it.
I almost gave a very unprofessional answer, and then I was like, okay, I actually care.
Yes, I did. Before I started, he's like, hey, Hey, don't get too loose with them now. You know, you do this with people and then all of a sudden you say those things and then we gotta like go backtrack.
Yeah, yeah.
So what was the thing?
So I'm trying to be on middle behavior. How about this?
How about, how about you don't say the thing that you were, you were going to backtrack on, but you could just do the backtrack as if you had said it?
Yeah, yeah, backtrack right now.
So backtrack what you almost said.
Yeah, yeah, just be like, I'm sorry, it was taken out of context.
I actually do this all the time. I'll be like to people all the time. I like, God, like, I shouldn't say this at all. And then I just say, like, hey, no, you know, I really, you know, like, it would be rude to say this, but this is what I was thinking. And then they're like, but you said it anyway.
Yeah, we do it all the time on the show. We're like, I'm not going to say it, and they're like, all right, we got to say it.
Well, now it's not as funny. Initially I was going to be like, yeah, well, you know, I just called his girlfriend.
Yeah, so now, now backtrack, now backtrack, now tell Tell us the apology.
Oh, then I'm gonna apologize for—
yeah, just saying, yeah, call the girlfriend thing.
Yeah, I called a girlfriend who's the daughter of me, you know, like, and then she told him to stay and all.
Yeah, yeah. So it was taken out of context.
I don't accept the apology.
Okay.
Yeah, we just want to let everyone know we're here to coach football.
Yeah, but here's the thing, you gotta wait a few days. You gotta make— wait, wait a few days to apologize so then the story comes back again. It's just dying down.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Okay.
Hey man, we're finally moving on.
Make sure you get this.
Hey, I really apologize to everybody.
Yeah, that's the best thing to do. You gotta keep everyone talking about you.
And then it's like, then they're like, man, he apologized. Oh no, did he actually just bring it back up again?
Yeah, what did he apologize for again?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, I got one last question. This has been so much fun. We've had an incredible day. You guys have been like the best in terms of hosts. We've done everything, hot yoga, softball. We did, we did the— we crazy beat you in softball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, that relief syndrome thing, like, we could play softball 100 times, we beat you guys 100 times.
Every game is independent of the other.
No, not that.
No, it's actually—
no, you're playing third base every time.
Here's what I did.
We're gonna win every time.
Here's what I disagree. One, okay, there are a lot of things, there's a lot of factors that go into this. Now, we had no— our team had no idea about like the new ball that y'all use. We don't know that, even though we had some softball people. They're not used to that.
Softball coaches from softball team.
Yes, correct.
Okay, but it's kind of like a different sport. Then like now you guys knew how to strategically like place your outfield people and stuff. Like now we realize the ball can't really travel that far.
Like, well, all right, so then let me ask you a question. If you— if we played that game again right now, would you put yourself at third base?
That's the other thing. I didn't know my team. Now I know. I don't even know the people that were on the team.
Would you put yourself in third base?
Okay, but also this, I would be better now. Maybe I would, because here's the thing, you're back to a loss.
You're back to a loss.
No, because I know the ball now. The damn ball. First off, you got to have a different game plan in the first inning and in later innings.
Yes, because the ball gets softer. I told you guys that.
Yeah, you could hit the ball. Yeah, but I didn't really realize that. Would you try to hit hard grounders in the first inning? Yeah, it's hard to feel. Yeah, then once you— because you're kind of scared of that ball at first because you're like, wait, I don't have a glove, right? Then you realize All right, this ball got soft, man.
Like, you can toss it around.
Yeah.
Would you consider yourself to be a good loser?
No.
You kind of walked off by yourself.
Yeah, there was—
I'm terrible.
The last out that you made, terrible loser. And you ran the first base. No, you did the A-rod. You reached out, you tried to slap the ball out of Shane's hands at first base, and then you just kept running afterwards. And it was like, I get it. Like, I mean, show me a good loser, I'll show you a loser. So I get it, you don't like to lose.
It makes sense.
Good one.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, yeah, I came up with that.
And usually they're good losers, like they've gotten used to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like if we had played pickleball ball. Uh, all right, Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com, promo code TAKE.
Zach, that was a really good job.
Thank you.
I thought you were reading it over there.
No, no, no, I got it in my head. It's like 3 lines. So yeah, I could play for you. Mulligan.
We don't even need that. Gas.
Mulligan. Gas. Zach.
Gas. Zach.
It's 3 lines. Max could play for you too.
My guy.
What's going on, Coach? I appreciate you for your time today. I was curious, I did see here recently, I don't know if this is a developing friendship, but I saw you did go on stage with Lil Boosie a couple of weeks ago, and I was curious if for the city of Baton Rouge, if there was any talks of maybe having him run down the tunnel with the team one game this season?
Hmm. Yeah, I don't think the tunnel thing, you know, that's kind of sacred in that, you know, we've discussed different people. And we did this at the previous place, you know, doing like the Tiger Walk with us, you know, so they kind of walk in the stadium kind of like the Morgan Wallen thing, you know, like, yeah, yeah, you know, like, so we've discussed that, even talked to Boosie about that.
Okay, awesome. Nice. Any follow-up?
And I was also curious, I like Boosie.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, yeah, you're gonna be catfished. I just went and caught like real fish and I was sending them videos and he's like, damn, that's scary out there, you know, like we go way out, like 100 miles out and stuff. He just like just stays inshore and catches catfish.
Yeah, we had some of his chips yesterday in the van.
They were good on the way over.
Yeah, wrap snacks are really good. Yeah, wrap snacks, wrap snacks, Boosie Badass Chips.
Yeah, they were, they were awesome.
Yeah, yeah, check it out.
Yeah.
All right, go ahead, Zach.
I was also curious, uh, whether it be, uh, uh, Tennessee, you know, Florida, Ole Miss, now here at LSU, what is it about coaching in, uh, in the South? Like, is there something that sets aside coaching in the South compared to regions of the United States that like just has you keep coming back, or—
Good question.
He just cracks me up. It's a good question because I really— I told you, self-admitted, like I don't see the show all the time. Yeah, okay. So Sawyer like just kind of like gives me the funny clips.
Yeah.
And so Sawyer this morning like comes in and shows this clip with Belichick and alarms and all that stuff, and I was like, I was like, he's acting. And I know, so that's what I said today, like he walked by, I was like, He's acting the exact same again.
Yep. He's the same.
Yeah. SEC. It's just what we talked about. The reaction there, you know, when you change jobs, look at the two previous SEC jobs and you move and you change, then everybody's like, well, if you think about their action was because they came to LSU. Well, that reaction at Tennessee was another, that wasn't a rival school. Everybody's like, well, if you would have left for a rival school, Ole Miss would have been fine. Eh, Tennessee wasn't. Because that's the passion of, that's the same reason why the stadiums are the way, the intensity is the way it is. Um, it means more. You know, we talked about, well, the Big Ten and winning, you know, those championships and stuff, but the SEC, what we talked about, you got to get up every week, man. You got to play in that every week. And the, the fans have that, the, the towns have that, and it's really cool. I mean, it really— I know it gets overplayed, like, it, it means more, but it does, man. It ruins people's, like, whole year when they lose a rivalry game down there.
Is there a— is there any kind of like feeling you could equate to like having the city at an SEC school behind you? Just like, because it's almost bigger than the game, like the entire city just around it like waiting to see this team win. Is there any— is there any feeling that's close to that, or is it unlike anything else?
It really is. You know, we guard against it, you know, and we talk a lot against it because, you know, coaches, the kids experience, you know, to become like these little gods in these towns and stuff, you know, like, well, that's great when it's going good, but then when it goes bad, it's the other way. Like This is what— when I first got here, what I realized, whether you win or lose, whichever it is, that kid, he's not escaping it all week because everywhere you go. Now you go, like, let's say when I was at USC, like, kid goes to— goes to class, you know, like half the kids in class have no idea what happened in the game, you know what I mean? Like, or, you know, the gas station, they don't know. Here, Tennessee, you know, places like that, Alabama, like everybody knows everything. So it's like Man, when it's good, it's good. But you also got to guard from that. The guys get too high because everywhere they go, they hear, man, you're great, man. You— especially when you talk about letdown games. Yeah, you got this game. They're hearing that everywhere they go because everybody knows, right?
They go down to eat, they get lunch, everybody down there knows. The janitor knows. Everybody knows what happened last week and knows exactly how they played.
Yeah. Did you have a laugh with Kalen DeBoer about that woman who said if she won the lottery, she'd buy out his contract? Did you have have a little laugh on the group chat.
But see, you think you're figuring out the small group chat, there's still the big one that all these—
yeah, I know, but that one's business. I'm talking about—
I kind of break that a little bit.
Not in the small group chat.
No. And, and in fairness—
well, he's not—
in fairness, you wouldn't get in that fast, right?
You got it. So you're new—
our coaches, yeah, these are usually like relationships that have been developed, you know, like Drinkwitz.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you should actually make it like that.
Yeah, I know, I got you.
You should make it like if you beat— if, if, if a new coach beats you or Kirby, they get in. That'd be fun.
That's good.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, got to keep you guys honest.
Do you ever just drop memes in the official one, like back to Greg Sankey? Like you just mess around in the official group chat, you meme him?
He's not in the—
oh, oh, he's not in the official SEC?
No, he's not.
Okay, got it.
He del delegates that.
Got it. Yeah, throw us in that one.
Yeah, that would be good.
You'll just be the moderator.
But I, I send things to Greg Senke. He would tell you if he's interviewed it, nobody else sends to him. So that's just— that's just me.
Yeah.
Um, have you gotten to, to meet and know Mike the Tiger yet?
Hmm, not really, besides just going by there once.
Yeah, we said hello to him. You haven't like— I feel like—
I mean, I did walk up there once and tried to like have a moment, you know, like see—
hey, I'm the Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do feel—
I actually do feel like that's important.
That's really why we need Coach O. Like, that's— you just need— just for things like that. Yeah, because actually what we're discussing right there, and halfway joking, he knows.
Yeah, he has a relationship with Mike.
He does, 100%. It's based on mutual respect.
And even if the Tiger doesn't know, he would tell you that he believes the Tiger.
Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely.
Coach, me and the Tiger, we've been knowing each other for a long time.
Yeah.
Coach, I knew his daddy.
Yeah, yeah, this is a petit Mike. All right, little baby.
Well, Coach, thank you for an unbelievable day.
We appreciate it.
Grit Week, uh, this has been awesome, and best of luck this season.
All right, guys, we'll be rooting for everybody.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very, very special guest. Is our guy Blake Portals in the back of Vanny Woodhead 2. First time we've had anyone back here. What's up, dude?
What's going on? Thanks for having me.
And we're also— we should say, uh, we just, we just built an entire playset for, uh, with it with a great company called Rock Solid. Go check them out. For a young kid, 2-year-old, who's battling cancer. Feels good, boys. We just put in a hard day's work.
Yeah, great event. Awesome thing to do for a kid and his family. And I mean, we got to live out a dream of working construction.
Yeah, construction. Work some cigs in a second. We figured that probably wouldn't be the best thing to do.
I was offered a cig early and I was like, I don't think that's what we should do in the back— maybe backyard of this kid's house.
Maybe not. Maybe a little bit later. But he was so happy to to see when Blake handed him a Jacksonville Jaguars football. So that was cool to see, Blake. You still got the touch.
It's—
yeah, I didn't get a Golden Hammer, but yeah, no big deal.
I did— me and Max were awarded the Golden Hammer, um, and Zach. So we feel pretty good about that. Blake, I saw you just a couple months ago when Hank and I were down here for, uh, for TPC at Sawgrass, and we went golfing afterwards. We had a few beers over at our place, and you told a story that I was hoping that you would share with our audience about about, because I was complimenting you on how fast you were. Like, you had, I think among all, like, qualified quarterbacks, you had the highest yards per carry of any AFC quarterback of all time.
Yeah.
So you were fast. You're a fast guy. And then you were telling me a story about when you first got drafted by the Jaguars, how fast you were, that you tried to talk to your coach about maybe letting you play a different position.
Yeah.
I thought early on that tight end could have been a potential better, just long-term situation for my skill set. Set, um, and they kind of pushed back on that, so I ended up playing quarterback.
Why did they put— why did they push back? Because was it the fact they drafted you 3?
I think that had something to do with it.
Yeah.
And your coach said, well, like, Blake, we just, we just drafted you 3rd overall, please don't ever say that to anybody again.
Yeah, no, so I kept that one to myself, but I would hop in drills. I would hop in drills every now and then. Quarterback ended up being all right.
Yeah, quarterback was great. And, and you are— I'm just—
I said the skill set fitting for a tight end, I always thought.
But I did say that to remind people that you, like, you were— you're an athlete.
Absolutely athlete.
I had more offers to play tight end out of college than quarterback.
Wow.
Where—
wait, where else were you offered?
I had never played tight end before. Colorado State.
Okay.
Western Kentucky told me I was too slow, so they wanted me to play tight end. I was too slow to play quarterback.
Okay.
Tight end.
Okay.
And then Purdue.
Oh yeah, that would have been an interesting place for you.
The guy doesn't really fit your personality and watched me throw in high school for like an hour and a and a half and made me do all these extra drills. And at the end was like, yeah, we're gonna offer you a scholarship as a tight end.
So it went that well. Do you, do you miss it at all? Do you miss football?
I do. I miss it a lot. I still talk to people.
I'm getting old now.
I know more coaches than players.
Yeah.
Um, but enjoy watching. Miss hanging out, the locker room, all the typical stuff, being around the guys.
Do you, do you watch like all the games?
I didn't at first. I was a little sour originally.
Yeah.
Done.
And then that lasted like half a season, and then I started watching. It's just fun to watch and root for guys that you know and coaches. And Jesus, I'm sweating.
It's so hot back here. It is so hot.
When you saw— when you saw Philip Rivers play this year, were you like—
were you like, I thought it wouldn't be a big deal?
I could play?
No.
Yeah, for me that would be the straw. That would be like the last one where it's like, I'm better than Philip Rivers.
No, I think Philip had it, the mental edge, probably the physical as well. I think I told you this last time I saw you. It happened again. I played catch with— we got two boys that live next to us, neighbors, like 10 and 12. Great kids, good athletes. But I played catch with them on Saturday and my arm's still sore. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, it's—
how are they? How are they catching?
They're great.
Yeah.
Good little athletes.
Wait. Yeah. So are you— we were— we were having— when we were doing the construction, I think that's why we didn't get the Golden Hammers. We were catching up. We're sidetracked talking about our kids. So you, you said in Florida they have, they have T-ball, they have travel T-ball.
Travel T-ball. Florida is just, you know, it's competitive. And it's competitive like right away. Like as soon as you— there's no rec league and like let's just have fun. As soon as you sign up, it's like we're here to win championships and turn professional.
Do—
is there like part of you that's like, hey, I actually was a professional athlete, this is ridiculous, like I didn't need travel T-ball at 5 years old and I went to the NFL?
I think that's part of it. There's actually— I was coaching my daughter and it's an all-girls flag football league. There's like over 500 of them called Girl Power. It's awesome. But there was like 4 ex-NFL guys that were out there coaching, and the 4 ex-NFL guys were by by far the most relaxed, chilled coaches.
Right.
You know, everybody else, it's the AFC Championship Game every Sunday.
Right, because I feel like, like, guys, you know, who actually played professionally, they're like, hey, most of these kids are not gonna do anything. They're gonna have fun, but yeah, make it fun. Pretending that a 5-year-old is going to be in the MLB.
No doubt. Keep them signing up, keep them having fun, teach them the game and instill some quality traits, and then it's all kind of irrelevant until hit puberty.
It will be sick though if one of your kids goes pro. It would, because we'll hopefully still be doing this podcast, and that would be awesome.
Vanny Woodhead.
Yeah, full circle moment. Yeah, that would be so awesome.
Global warming, it'll be 160 in the back of this van, dude.
It's so fucking hot. What are you looking at?
Do you think it is right now?
Wait, hold on, Max, give me—
I want to know, I want to know what temperature it is.
Okay, it's got to be 120.
I think it's something that we need to— what do we need to do, Max?
What? Say it, just say it. It's so hot, just fucking say it. Oh yeah, hey, what does grit mean to you, dude? It's 700 degrees back here. This is great. Blake, what does grit mean to you? Presented by DraftKings.
Shout out DraftKings. DraftKings Sportsbook. Okay, all right, okay, okay, we now—
can we keep this part in though? We keep all this in and then I'll— and then you put the begin— the question we're about to do, you put at the Beginning. Yeah, all right, all right. We now welcome on a very, very, very special guest. It is Blake Bortles. Uh, we're in the back of Vandy Woodhead too. Uh, Blake, I start this— I start every single interview with this question presented by DraftKings. What does grit mean to you, dude?
I just battling through in the back of Vandy Woodhead, but it's 125 and just dripping sweat after building the swing set with a great company for a great cause.
Yeah, let's go back to the middle. Let's go back to the middle of the interview. All right, we're back.
We're getting really close to the end because it's so fucking hot in here. Blake, what's—
you look like you're in a sauna.
I feel like I'm in a sauna.
It is a sauna.
Blake, what's grittier, doing this podcast in the back of this van or when you had to write a chapter of our book?
Oh yeah.
Oh God.
I had a little intel that Blake— yeah, we talked about the book.
It's close. The book might take it.
He said that he was— our ghostwriter emailed him a couple times being like, is this good with you? And Blake just said yes and just never read anything that he wrote.
Or that faith in him.
Yeah, you had full, full faith. Yeah, he had it.
Yeah.
Uh, what do you— Blake, what do you have, uh, what do you, what do you do every day?
Well, um, you know, I got 3 kids, so I do a lot of that.
That's a lot.
Big on, you know, I pack lunches and drop off. Me and my wife rotate drop-off. We got a 1-year-old, so there's always a baby at the house. Yeah, one of us is always with him. Um, but you know, that's about it. Here and there, random things, like during the day, off like a normal day?
Yeah, like you drop off the kids, drop off, and then you're just like, all right, chill. Like, I'm— this is me from a place of envy.
Yeah, there's not— there's random activities and things that happen here and there, but for the most part, like, I'll work out and, uh, yeah, I just kind of hang out.
It's interesting. It's just like, great, you, you had— you had a great career, you made a lot of money, and now you're retired in your mid-30s. Yeah, and I feel like most people aren't retired in their mid-30s. No, the selection of people that you get to hang out with that are also retired are probably a little bit older than you.
Yeah.
So are you making friends with like older dudes?
Yes. Like my goal was when I first got done, I was like, I'm just gonna play golf every single day. And I realized a lot of the guys up there doing that were older and been divorced multiple times and maybe absentee fathers. Mm-hmm. So I limited the golf and went back home. But yeah, it's a lot of older hanging out, playing golf, because there's not many, you know, mid-30-year-olds that can play golf on a Tuesday at 2, right?
Yeah, right.
Or at 9:30 in the morning. So yeah, it's diverse.
How's your game?
Up and down. Some good, some bad. I guess 7.
Oh, that's pretty good.
Thing about Blake is I've never heard anybody else do this, but you're a right-handed guy and you play golf left-handed.
Yeah, Hank and I both play golf left-handed. We actually had— he borrowed some of my clubs when we played with you guys last time, um, and he told me earlier it was kind of like the catalyst him fully going lefty. So I like to believe I had a bit of influence on that.
He needs representation.
You're the person we should blame for this whole fucking thing.
I mean, his swing esthetically is significantly better left-handed than right-handed. What the results show, I think, is, you know, we haven't seen that yet.
So he's coming. He found out, I think, he's actually left-handed. You're actually right-handed.
Yeah, do everything right-handed, swing left-handed.
Does this count as our hot yoga?
Yeah, I don't know.
I think we're good. Yeah, it's 7,000 degrees back here.
I'm about to pass out.
That was awesome that we did that.
The—
that was cool building the, the playset.
I do—
that was not what we— our original idea was to sit on a construction site and do absolutely nothing, which you've talked about, like, how sick it would be.
The plans changed. I had a buddy that, like, has a big site, and he was like, you guys can just come down here and kind of mess around on some heavy machinery.
But, you know, you didn't tell us that.
Well, you told me this.
Yeah, I know.
When this came true, it's like, we have to do this.
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Every machinery sounds—
yeah, it does, it does. Uh, but shout out was Rock Solid Foundation. Yes, it's a, it's a really cool organization. Yeah, and I'm glad that we got to experience this together. It turns out we're a lot better with tools than we thought that we'd be.
We're pretty—
yeah, we're pretty good at it.
It's not the tools part, it's the, uh, directions. Yeah, there was a couple times where Blake and I missed the step because we were just talking and caught up in conversation. Um, so the directions is the hard part.
Yeah, it's nice when you have like an adult supervisor there.
Yeah, I was just kept on— all the adult supervisors were younger than us though. Yeah, so we'd be like, we need an adult, and then a 30-year-old would come over. Yeah, nice. Here we go, ice cold Twisted Tea in the back of Vanny Woodhead. That's great.
Can I get a water? Um, Zach, do you have a last question? It's so hot. We're gonna have you back on when it's not so hot.
Yeah, this is great.
This is kind of stupid.
Oh, what do you think about the Jaguars season?
Last season? Uh, the coming up?
Yeah, actually, you know what, any Jaguar season. You pick a season. Any year of the Jaguars history, just be like, that was pretty cool.
'17 was fun.
Okay.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, what about '95? Yeah, what about '08? '08?
Uh, Uh, yeah, I don't—
I don't—
it's got to be like David Garrard. Yeah, before him.
What about like '97 when you guys beat the Denver Broncos?
Bruno, Jimmy Smith, Keenan McCardell.
Great.
Well, 2 years ago.
2 years ago, not great. I missed the playoffs.
What about—
yeah, what about, uh, 3 years ago, the Urban Meyer season? What was that like?
Uh, I don't know a ton about it, but I, you know, I think some changes were made.
Okay, what about last year and then going forward this year and the year after?
Last year was awesome. Liam's great. I got to spend some time with him in LA.
Oh yeah.
Trevor's awesome. Got to know him a little bit. And I think they're set up to be good for a long time. So it's cool to watch and the city's, you know, fired up and pumped around them.
Do you— are you like a Jaguar fan?
I root for them. Yeah, because there's still some people like in the support staff.
Right.
Like none of the players were there. Um, but like, root for them, of course, to do well. Know some of the guys, and the city's just happier when they win. Yeah, so everybody's in a better mood. I went to my first one last year. Uh, my daughter did the halftime cheerleading show, so we supported. Um, great game. I mean, the new stadium will be sweet too, coming up. Yep, they get to play in Orlando for a year next, uh, next season.
Is there a team besides the Jaguars that you look at like your second favorite team that you played for?
Um, just probably the Rams. McVay. Stafford's cool to watch. Yeah, I'm just crazy how much sweat I mean. Uh, yeah, root for guys I know, like watching guys I know.
Do you still have a Tesla?
No way. I went to trade it in and, uh, I didn't know how taxes worked on trade-ins. Like, if you trade it and take the cash, you have to pay taxes, but if you just trade it in, they rolls over fully into a trade-in. So I traded in and got a truck.
Got it. It's nice. Nice.
So my wife was like, I come back expecting me to like Uber back home with a check, and I drove back.
No, you just like got the truck.
Yeah, it was a good deal.
Uh, Zach, last question, rowback question, because it's 7,000 degrees back here.
Come on, Zach, I'll get you guys out of here so quick.
At rowback question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, rowback.com, promo code TAKE. Also, everyone do go to Rock Solid Foundation. It will be a link in the, uh, vlog that we put out with Blake. Thank you, Blake, for doing all this. Absolutely.
Thanks for having me.
Great to see you. All right, Zach, go ahead.
Blake, I was curious, your thoughts on pickleball and if it's a competitive sport.
Okay, um, I mean, I think it's competitive for sure. Anything can be competitive. I've played it some. Um, I think it's fun. I think it's more fun as like a casual grab beers after than like getting serious and trying to play in tournaments. But to each their own. Do you love pickleball?
Uh, I do think it's a fun game. Do you think there's a world where, uh, kind of the competitive aspect of it expands and we see more like major tournaments on TV, or you think it's more of just like a leisurely fun thing?
Yeah, personally I think it's more leisurely and fun. I don't know, because at like the youth level, I guess you would have to start like sniping off some of the kids playing tennis.
Yeah, pickleball.
I don't know who made you ask that question. You've never talked about pickleball in your life.
I was just, I was just curious. I heard you guys talk about AU child sports earlier, and I was gonna ask maybe if you saw a future in AU pickleball for the kids as well.
I think, I think our security guard Mike you up to this.
You want to ask them a Florida question? Two Florida boys.
I can do that as well.
You, uh, are you—
do you prefer the Gulf or do you prefer the East Coast? Where do you like— if you're vacationing and you and the family going out, kind of more relaxed like Anna Maria, or you going like Cocoa?
I mean, Cocoa and Daytona is phenomenal. Grew up going there. But I think, I mean, the Gulf water—
we—
I live here, but the Gulf water, like when you can walk in like waist height and still see your feet, it's nice. First, you know, over here it's a little darker. Worker.
And a guy asked, it's okay since you are incredibly athletic, how do you do on a skimboard?
Uh, haven't skimboarded in a while. Uh, used to be good at it. I caught a toe a couple times. You know, you like bang the sand off the back of it. Yeah, bang your toe. Um, it's been a couple decades, but we could try again.
Awesome. Take your time, Blake.
Thank you.
All right, good question.
Great job, Zach.
Great question, Zach.
Okay, dude, sorry this so hot.
It's so hot.
This has been great. I've enjoyed it.
It's been an awesome day. We appreciate you coming here and doing this with us. And we like checked the box. We not only built a playground for a kid fighting cancer, but got to hang out on construction site.
That's right, boys.
Pretty cool. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes. Yeah. Let's go outside of the sauna.
Yes. Outside the sauna. All right. Blake Portals. Okay, let's wrap up the show. We've got guys on grit. Hank, Put this in your vlog.
Can you film this, Zach? Uh, what's up, Father of Three, PFT, Honk, Batgirl, Connor, and Zach?
Batgirl, there's a, there's a throwback.
Throwback question for guys on grit. What's the most inconvenient minor injury that a man, that a guy would have to play through the pain slash demonstrate grit at an officer? Job?
Like an injury where you, you have to go to work? Yeah. Um, paper cut. Let's see. I—
blister on your foot.
I broke my foot. Big Cat got bit by a dog. Kidney stones.
Minor thing that you'd play through?
No, for an office job that a guy would have to play through.
I'm confused on the question.
So the question is What, what is too weak of an injury to call in sick for work for?
Got it.
So like if you got a sprained ankle, but it's really bad.
Yeah, you can't do that. You got to go to work.
I think I broke my foot, came into work.
Yeah, you got to go to work that day.
Yeah, I think honestly, you can, you can take work off for nothing. Like you can lie about an injury, which is actually more masculine.
Migraine.
Than actually having like a small injury that you do call in sick for.
I think it also depends on how it happened. If you like say break your leg because you got hit by a car, that's totally fair to be like, hey, I need a couple days. If you break your leg because you were like, uh, you know, skiing out of a helicopter, or—
that's awesome—
or playing like a shitload of pickup basketball, it's like, fuck, I should— you know, I'm a grown adult, I probably shouldn't have been doing this stuff. Yeah, to put myself in harm's way. I gotta go to work.
Back when I lived in Austin, I, uh, I dislocated my shoulder really bad, had to go to the hospital. They couldn't get it back in for about an hour and a half, 2 hours. And I told my boss that I was gonna miss work the next day because I dislocated playing rugby, but in reality I dislocated playing kickball, adult league kickball.
Can't do that. But it's like what I could say that, yeah, when I broke my finger playing goalball on the Yak, where you just lay down on the ground blindfolded and roll a ball back and forth. That was a tough one to be like, hey. Or when I, when I had a tear of my hamstring running from egg toss. Those are ones that's just like, you don't want to tell anyone.
Yeah, it's way cooler if you like tear your hamstring barefoot running on a field because, because the grass feels good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because one, because Max called me a pussy and then we went down the line of calling each other pussies.
I don't think anyone called me a pussy. I think I was calling myself a pussy.
No, it was, it was, it was gonna be just me run, or just Max running until he called me out, and then it was just everyone has to run. He knew what he was doing.
It was so easy. Yeah, actually, I actually looked at the guys from UNC and I was like, watch this, he's gonna do it in a minute.
And I, I fully admit how easy, like, I could do the same to you.
Oh yeah, it's just we, we have a problem as guys, and then PFT has a problem where we just yell at him for doing athletic things and he's like, no, I can do it.
I Do it.
Oh yeah, I'm retired from running. I'm a yoga guy now.
So we have like one thing pop up being like, hey, run.
Yesterday we were at Florida State and we were doing like an explosive squat.
Yeah.
To see our explosive numbers, which couldn't be worse thing for PFT to do. And I physically had to go over and pull you off of the machine.
You did? Yeah. I listen, I see dudes competing. I want to compete. Sorry.
I started a new job 3 weeks ago. My new boss took me golfing. I'm a bogey golfer. I was probably +50 through 9. The lights were too bright, got too nervous, just absolutely no grit.
Wait, +50 through 9?
How do I get grittier?
That's not even being able to hit the ball like 5 feet.
Yeah. How do I get grittier on the golf course? Absolutely not switching to lefty.
You don't have to get gritty on the golf course.
Could you imagine? Like, this is a real thing that I think a lot of dudes probably have to struggle with, is like, they— golf is part of their job in some capacity, and being that bad— well, Hank, I wasn't talking about you— and being that bad has got to be absolutely miserable.
I think it matters, it matters big time what kind of job you have.
Like, if you're in a sales job and you're hitting plus 50 through 9, you're not closing any deals.
Fired. You should be fired. If it's like an outside sales role, yeah, you're gonna be out with clients. I'm sorry, it's not going to work out. Now, if it's like customer service and you're doing a good job like making fun of yourself as you, as you mess up, that could be a good thing. So I need to know what kind of job this guy— if it's like manual labor and your boss was just like, let's go out and play some golf, that might also be a good thing. Just be like, as long you're like, this sport's gay.
Yeah.
And they'll be like, yeah, okay, respect.
You got to just, you got to just get really, really good in secret and then show up and, and be awesome and be like, yeah, I watched one YouTube video, boss. That's what— that would be my advice.
Love the show. Great interview with Coach Belichick. It's such a great listen each time you have a big-time coach on the show. Question about grit from a guy also named Zach, why is it harder to stay gritty about small daily habits than about big dramatic goals?
I don't know, we're all lazy.
By the way, I, I would disagree with that.
Well, aside from that, it just popped in my head, we learned a fun fact in the van. Uh, Zach, what's your middle name?
Uh, Anthony.
So what are your initials?
Uh, uh, ZC or ZAC. So it's Zach.
Yeah, it's fucking It's pretty cool. Yeah.
So anytime you get something monogrammed, it just says Zach on it.
Just says Zach.
Yeah.
Shout out to my mom.
I don't really—
I don't— I disagree. I don't agree with what they said.
I do. You're just like day to day, like overall you can be gritty, but day to day you can be lazy. Like, oh, like I'll do the dishes tomorrow. That's what he said.
Oh, I thought he was saying the opposite, where it's easier to be gritty about day-to-day small— can you read it again? Read again.
He wasn't listening, Hank.
I was listening.
Why is it harder to stay gritty about small daily habits?
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, he's right.
Big dramatic goals.
So I agree with this guy. Good point. Excellent point, guy. Um, I don't know, because yeah, if you really care about your long-term goal— goal on something— then you're gonna stick to it.
What did you just say?
Goal. If you really care about your long-term goal, then you're gonna stick to it because like you actually care about it and that's like why you do everything in your day-to-day life. But like this, you don't really care about mowing the lawn.
Yeah, well, and you can always just do it tomorrow, right? Really, right? But tomorrow's never promised.
Yeah, I mean, this is, this is every person in the world where it's like trying to, trying to get daily habits, routines, and it's hard to do. But if you're like, hey, I have a goal, a 5-year plan, you can, you can visualize it.
That's how I end up in most of my situations. All right, last one. Most of your situations, like dunking. Yeah, I forget everything. Six-pack, six-pack, six-pack. I got—
yeah.
Why the buddy pregnant? I got a few of those today.
Lefty golfing.
Lefty golfing. It's been going well, though.
I posted a picture of me last night that I've never looked fatter than.
Yeah, that was crazy. That was—
that was one.
Horrendous picture.
Wait, was it the one where, uh, you're sitting in front of Vanny Woodhead?
I said you saw me taking a picture.
Wait, Vanny Woodhead was in that picture? I couldn't see it.
Max blocked the whole thing.
It was the worst picture of me ever taken.
You saw me taking the picture.
Uh, whatever.
You did. I said turn off the light, I'm taking a picture.
Yeah, but you didn't—
he didn't tell him you're doing a pan—
a pan—
a panorama.
Panorama where it's like it, it spreads them out like 50%.
Does your phone— it ate up all the memory on your phone?
All right, you got it.
Last one. I've been a golf caddy in the past 10 summers, uh, or I'm moving to Chicago in a few weeks. I've been a golf caddy the past 10 summers. Frankly, I'm not making as much money as I like. I'm thinking about caddying on weekends once I start my job to help get some money saved up. I'm broke as shit right now. Is this gritty and strategic or corny in a bad way to start post-grad life in a new city?
No, that's gritty. I like that move. This guy's got grit.
Yeah, gritty as hell.
Gritty as hell.
It's good hustle.
I'm looking at the picture. I didn't mean for it to— it's bad lighting. I don't think you look that bad.
No, he looks pretty bad.
That's the worst picture of Max I've ever seen.
And it's actually— it's very unfair because, Max, you look good. You look slim.
You do look powerful.
Nobody looks their best post-10 hours in a car through different states fueled entirely on gas station snacks.
It was a lot going on because I was trying to take a picture to post it, but it was also overtime of the Spurs game. I was watching on my phone. I was trying to get get the, the battery off. There's a lot going on. My, my bad, Max. Sorry about that.
Yeah, it's okay. I have enough bad angles out there, it doesn't really affect me too much anymore.
That's my bad. Uh, all right, good show, boys. Numbers?
101.
12.
Nice guess, Hank. Troll. He's on his troll.
That was a funny— no, that was a good bit. That was another one of Hank's little situations. That was another one of Hank's little situations. Until he finds himself.
He's on his troll shit right now. It's gonna be a long couple days.
I'm gonna go with 61.
So tired.
Yeah, when you get tired, then you get, you get loopy. Uh, all right, uh, 77. Anyone else? It is 65. Good, no one wants Good. I won anyway.
When that happens, I hope that my number isn't—
I know I won one of those and I won one too. Worst thing ever.
Worst. It's the worst.
Don't tell me. I don't even want to know that I won. May 20th, shout out. Happy birthday to Hard Factor Will. Also shout out to Jason Worth. Nat for life. World Series champion. Shout out to Patrick Ewing. He had to tape his dick to the side of his leg. It was so big. Happy birthday to David Wells. And then on Thursday, It's Josh Allen's birthday. Happy birthday, Josh Allen. Happy birthday to Bobby Cox. RIP. Happy birthday to Crispin Waugh.
I can't believe that's crazy. That's crazy.
Whoa.
I also covered all the bases.
I don't know.
There might be somebody online. I can't believe PFT forgot Crispin Waugh's birthday. And then Hank will be like, oh, PFT is so bad at this.
I also—
the cross-faced crippler. How can you forget?
I can't believe we did a fucking 10-minute segment about Alcaraz and Sinner sucking each other off when it was just a totally fake— Yeah, I'm sorry, I, I, I was crazy.
I bookmarked it in the middle of the game last night and I was like, I'm gonna go back and revisit this, and then I forgot to go back and revisit it and it was in my bookmarks because I was going to use it for today's show, and then it turns out there's a fucking Tennis Central account.
All right. See you.
Love you guys.
Grit week continues and we’re live from LSU. The Knicks come back in the 4th and rip the Cavs heart out of their chest after Jalen Brunson took over. Wemby’s game was sensational and we can stop thinking about how good he is (00:00:00-00:19:59). Canadiens advance (00:19:59-00:29:02). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including some stories from our road trip and a hilarious update on our relationship with Jordon (00:29:02-01:07:34). Lane Kiffin joins the show from his office to talk football, hot yoga, being bad at break ups, new teams and more (01:07:34-02:15:47). Blake Bortles joins us from the hottest Van in the world and we almost died trying to do a 15 minute interview (02:15:47-02:32:04). We finish with listener submitted guys on grit questionsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Netflix. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take