Transcript of Closet Case Conservatives

So are we supposed to start the podcast?

Ready? One, two, three.

Patriots, gay triets, they triets, black triets, brown triets. And the people that don't support them can fuck off. There you go. Pumps, what have you had it with?

Okay, what I've had it with is products that are now Patriot products. They're Patriot generators, Patriot tools, Patriot clothing. I've just had it. It's like Christian signaling, except it's the Patriot signaling. And we know a couple of them were like prepper type stuff, like your Patriot generator so that when you come to the end of the Earth, you can do electricity. I'm just like, it's so overused, and I feel like it's been captured and denigrated to the point that it gives me the jeeps. So I've just had it with Patriot products.

That's a really That's a good one. That's just overt nationalism. It's this in void of culture and white pockets of America, they have made being a patriot their entire identity. These people are not watching film, reading literature, learning new things. Their entire identity is being American and promoting America. It feeds into this whole idea of American exceptionalism, which feeds into this idea among white Christians that value individuals over collectivism. All of these things are social constructs, countries, borders, all of these things. So whenever I see anybody that's a hyper, hyper, hyper-nationalist, you know they're a nut. For sure.

You know it because it's like, why does it have to be a Patriot product? Why can't it just be a generator?

Because it hits hard. I mean, you have 77 million people that vote for shit like that. It's a big It is a big market.

It is a big market.

It's a huge, huge, huge market. And you see it... I've seen more patriotism, Patriot-coated, Maga-coated shit now than I ever have in my life.

I have, too. And you know what's so interesting about it is while we're screaming to be patriots, we are cracking down on free speech as the government. We're talking about book banning. We're sending the military into US cities. None of that is in accordance with the Constitution.

But that's lost on these people. It's like we arrive at these people whose whole identity is the American flag and have truck nuts and all these Trump flags on their trucks and 95,000 Trump signs in their yard, and then we expect them to understand what democracy is and the distinction between socialism and communism or to be able to define fascism. We keep arriving at these people with an expectation that they're incapable of delivering upon. The larger thing for me is you see the attack on education. You see the attack on enlightenment. You see the attack on the things that could really provide something for these people. The reason that right-wing podcasting is so much bigger than left-wing podcasting is because for right-wingers, their whole identity is being an American and owning the lips. That's their full-time hobby. For many of them that are retired or unemployed, it's their full-time job. For left wingers, I have a lot of different things that I like to do. I'm at my least happiest when I'm consuming a lot of news. Listen to this, listener. I don't listen to podcasts. I listen to zero, zero podcast. And it's like, I don't watch interior design shows because what I do for work, I then don't want to turn around and go do at home.

And so for me, I I have to do this during the day, but then I have to get out of it. I have to get out of the bubble, go play tennis, go play pickleball, hang out with my kids, read a book, do other things that I'm interested in than just constantly being defined by politics or some narratives. But it's just the whole overt patriotism is such a turn off. And in the United States, especially in the Bible Belt, these giant flags are so trashy. So trashy.

It's like decoration. People think they're decorating with the American flag.

Yeah. All right. I've had it with legacy media completely capitulating to fascism and approaching stories in the news with some expectation that this regime is somehow there's two sides to it, that we're We're not starting the story off by saying, The President of the United States gave a press conference today, and he lied 45 times in this press conference. That we're not starting off a story about Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson by saying, Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, third in line for the presidency, has abdicated all of his power to a fascist regime and a president that lied 45 times earlier this morning. That's the way this moment requires that it be reported. And instead, we just walk into news and it's like we're presenting these fascists as though it's a mainstream idea. And it's such an insidious capitulation to the moment they're in right now. And one of the arbitors that we had to help us sanitize this stuff was the media. And they have been attacked by this regime so much. Israel is killing journalists, killing them, that are reporting on what's going on over there. And the death of the media reporting facts is just devastating.

It really is, because I remember growing up, everybody watched the five or six o'clock news, whatever it was. That's where you got your information. And I remember trusting whoever the anchor was. And now you have people on there that lie And nobody calls them out. And like you said, what drives me the craziest, and I've had it too, is acting like facts have two sides. Facts are just what they are. They don't have two sides. And everybody's alternate facts. There are no alternate facts. You might have a disagreement about your opinion regarding the facts, but facts stay the same.

Yeah. And it needs to be reported, especially when we deal with these alleged co-equal branches of government, this acceptance and not reporting on how Mike Johnson and the Supreme Court have completely bent over and are not with upholding the Constitution. Every journalist or writer behind the camera that doesn't report it, that so far, the speaker of the house, Moses Mike Johnson, and I want to remind everybody that he claims that God wakes him up in the middle of the night and says, Hey, little guy, wake up. You're Moses, big guy. We need to remind the public that this is an emotionally unstable person that thinks he has conversations with God who will not disagree with the President ever, ever on anything. And this type of sycophancy is new. And it also is the same thing with Trump when it comes to dictators. He will never disagree with them, ever. And that's new. And then you have the Supreme Court and the Congress completely abdicating their power to this fascist. And it's just so dangerous. And there are good journalists out there, and I'm sure some of you are probably listening right now. I want you to know I see you and I see those articles come out, and I know that you're fighting the good fight.

I'm talking more and more about the Washington Post owned by oligarchs. Cnn and even MSNBC firing Matthew Dowd is just It is just a really sad institution to go down because of the broken, insecure ego of a man who can't handle facts being reported about him, that we are going to give up something that is so important for democracies to have for a broken, like 90-year-old man's ego. And he'll never be fixed. He's going to die. He was born broken, he's lived broken, and he will die broken.

Absolutely. And no amount of good media coverage is going to make it better.

No. It only makes absolutely everything worse. I would say that it's enabling. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer.

I'm Angie, H-B-I-C. It stands for beaver and Bitch.

Kylie. Hi. I've got two reviews for you. This first one is five stars titled My White Auntie's. And Faye Rednurse writes, I love these women. I call them My White Auntie's. My Caucasian aunts have a new episode for us. Like I literally love them, and I catch myself saying, yes, about 50 times each episode.

Keep it up, ladies. Huge compliment there. Huge.

That is so lovely. I look for compliments in this podcast by not people that look as much like me, but by people that look like me beat up on, and people who look like me in pumps have always bullied. I look for them to say, Okay, we're breaking through here. We have white allies that look and sound like them, or straight allies that look and sound like them. I want to be defined by that and not by a bunch of rich white ladies thinking I'm fun and cute and neat. But I will say, I know some rich white ladies, and I'm telling you, they don't like their rights being taken away from them. And so we're doing our part to try to get our own dealt with. But it is an uphill battle, and especially in suburban cities in America, there is exceptionalism and lack of empathy in a lot of upper middle class to upper class white culture that is very disturbing.

Oh, it absolutely is. And don't forget judgmental, able to judge other people and think that they not only can, but should judge other people and their behavior.

Yeah. Okay, I've got another five review titled All Caps, The Best, and it's in all caps, and it says, Good day to all Americans, except the scum of the earth who don't listen to this podcast. These, quote, people are attempting to eradicate humor and progressive thought, parentheses, but we think better. They will not defeat us, true winners. Thank you for your attention to this matter. The name Badly McBaderson is so great. You know what's so crazy, you guys? This is hilarious. But the President of the United States is that big of an imbecile. Right. Yes. And it's $77 million people voted for him because, I don't know, I guess they're just so scared of Black people or gay people having rights or people having same. I don't know what the take is on that. I know that some people be like, Well, I just don't. Financially, it's the fiscal policy that I'm super into. I think he's a nut, but the fiscal policy is what's really important to me. To me, when somebody says that, I think we need to start collectively responding, So you value money more than you do human beings.

That's a great response.

Because it's true. We need to start saying that. So you value money more than you value other human beings. And some people will be smug enough to go, Yeah, I do. When it's my money, then you can say, Okay, we're not compatible. Right. Nice to see you. I wish you the very best. We're just simply not compatible.

But I'm sorry, I'm related to you, so I'll see you on Christmas. In my case.

Yeah, that's tough. I mean, that is really, really tough. It's really disgusting that people are so streamlined with their cruelty and dehumanizing of other people. It really sickens me.

I think the dehumanization Organizing is what has surprised me the most, because I will tell you, when I first learned about World War II, and it was just your basic public school curriculum, I didn't dive deeply into it in upper school or anything like that. But I remember thinking, maybe I was in ninth grade, I remember thinking, why didn't the other people stand up for them? Why did the other people let it happen? And now I know. Now I've researched enough and learned enough that when you dehumanize someone, it's easy to treat them as less than human. So it just sticks out to me thinking that then, and now I'm living it, and I'm like, Oh, I get it now.

Yeah, that's the part that I think is one of the more heartbreaking things about Trumpism, is that, especially in a red state like ours, and you were far more in these circles than I was, but you know that you're with a group of people that genuinely do not care about the human rights of other people outside of their socioeconomic skin color group. I have always felt that. I've always been an outlier living in Oklahoma. I've always found myself in groups, particularly when our sons played basketball and I had to go to the all-white Christian school. I physically, when I drove on the property and walked into the buildings, I could feel it. I had a physical reaction because I knew some of these parents, and I knew the racist things that they had said when their kids played on a predominantly Black basketball team. And I called them out. And I always try to make these people in a civilized way feel uncomfortable, to let them know I am not good going to cosign or be okay with your racism. You can do it in all your little white circles in your Bible study group, but when you get to my presence, you're going to know that I know in a very civilized way, but I will not cosign or go along with racist.

I just don't have it in me. And I have conviction about this, and I've always had conviction about this. And it's just interesting to me that so So many people, and I went viral about this before, but so many people have these boring white suburban cookie cutter lives. And the one thing that they get that adds color and flavor is some soul music or some rap music, or some football, or some basketball. And that's the one... That group of people, they still see this ownership over, that you're just to entertain me. The NFL is like, what they did to Black women when they had a moment of silence for Charlie Kirk, when all of those elite athletes have Black women as moms, and the disparaging things that Charlie Kirk said about Black women don't deserve a moment of silence. If you want to have a moment of silence, have it for gun violence. What about the kids that were shot on the same day by a white supremacist in Colorado? What about all of the people who have fallen prey to gun violence? Why is this one propped up? And you're putting these black athletes in a situation where they have to have a moment of silence for a person.

Charlie Kirk's on the record saying he didn't want to watch NFL or NBA or anything anymore after BLM.

He also said he believed that the Civil Rights Act was a huge mistake.

Yeah, it really grosses me out. It grosses me out that more white people are not on the right side of this, and they're very tepid about approaching it. I'm just going to tell you guys, I have heard it, I have seen it, I'm in white circles, and white people excusing other people's racism is every bit as much the problem as the overt racism.

I would agree with that. Yeah.

Because none of us are ever going to get better until we start calling people out, people that have an affection for us, people you have an affection for, and that you say, I'm very uncomfortable with your racism. I don't want it in my presence. I don't want it around my family. It is unacceptable to me to be around racist or racism because it's a cancer that all of this stuff on the right, I think at all the root of it goes back to white supremacy. They're so fucking mad that Barack Obama won two terms, and this is the white lash from it.

It'd be hard to argue against that point with how they are going in and changing history, starting with the Smithsonian. Now it's gone into national parks. So That's absolutely what it is.

Well, there's a picture of an enslaved man at the Smithsonian. I saw it online. It just had been severely abused and whipped. I forget the name. I think it's maybe called Scard Back or something. It was a a portrait taken of this man, and he's sitting there, and he just had horrific wounds of abuse, and his head turned. I saw this, that Trump ordered that be removed from the Smithsonian. To erase what happened is just another layer of dehumanization, and it goes against the progress that we want to make. I think at the end of the day, We all have different visions of what we think makes the country better. For me, what makes the country better is equal opportunity. The stuff that I was told when I was being taught about America, that we're trying to form a more perfect union, that we're going to fight for civil rights, that we're going to try to eradicate the inherent injustices in the Justice Department, in the criminal court system. I want to work towards that place. I want to work towards a place that the most marginalized can find comfort and solace in the institutions that are supposed to protect them.

I guess their vision, a MAGA person's vision of America is everybody agrees on one leader and one religion, and I guess, Black people are the entertainers because every White person I know that's a racist sure as fuck loves Black people's stuff.

Well, and also that White people are better than Black people. Immigrants are only good as long as they serve white people. When you think about make America great again, that's to the time where women couldn't have a credit card, couldn't have a bank account. There were no equal rights. I mean, that's what they want. They're not even shy about saying it. Pete Hegg Beth and his pastor don't want women to vote.

So I guess my thing is to all the white women out in America, is this a country you want for your sons? You want your sons to be mean to gay people and racist. You want your daughters to be in a marriage that they have to submit to their husband? Charlie Kirk said to Taylor Swift, Swift, she needs to submit to her husband. She needs to have kids and submit. And he can say that, free country, whatever. But my thing is for these parents out there that are Republican Christians, and you have your daughter, and let's say that you've made a shit ton of money, and you leave your little daughter a trust fund that could choke a bull, and then she marries some guy, and you think, something's fishy about this guy. Are you going to demand that she have a prenuptial agreement to protect the money that you earned that you left her? Or are you going to tell her that she has to submit and give it all to her husband? Because the MAGA government wants the latter. I think a lot of these white people that are supporting a lot of this shit are not playing the tape through.

Well, they also think that it's not going to happen to them. You see that with the Latinos for Trump. They're super pro-Trump because they didn't know for whatever reason that their spouses would be deported. They do not think these policies will ever affect them.

And I just want to say this. There's all of this propaganda on the right right now. They hate us. They are violent. And they're talking about liberals and Democrats. Here's the thing. The Latino for Trump is a prime example that you can say, Oh my God, you fuck around and you find You can say that. At the end of the day, even these people that had the salsa dance rally for Trump, and then the person who's up there singing, her husband and I think her nephew got deported and detained by ICE, and she's crying, and she feels so betrayed. I still feel badly for them. Absolutely. I feel badly that their families are being torn apart. My empathy doesn't just attach to the way you voted. It goes beyond that. To all of the right wingers out in rural America that have been lied to and propagandized and had their religion weaponized against them, I feel badly for them. The people I don't feel so badly for are white privileged Americans. That's where I get a little bit... Because you have everything. You have everything, and you're still mad. You're still mad. Look at white, upper class Americans that live in the suburbs of the United States of America.

They got the President they wanted, they have the Congress they wanted, they have the Supreme Court they wanted. They live in an all-white neighborhood. They get to have all the guns they want. They get to do whatever the fuck they want to. And they're still mad, and they're still consuming hate propaganda. I don't know how to fix that. I think there is something in that sect that is completely broken. The working class people in rural America that think Trump's their savior that are clinging on, that have been pitched. The reason you can't have nice thing is because of these marginalized people. So they further marginalize these people with even people that are even further marginalized. I have empathy for all of them. I do, too. But upper class white folk, the triple Trump, I really don't. I don't know what they're so mad at. I don't know what they want. They have everything they've ever wanted in a system that was designed for them to have everything they wanted, and they're still bitter and mad and angry.

It's still not enough.

It's crazy. It's crazy. Listener, the Hot Book of the Summer... I have it the wrong way. Take two. Listener, the Hot Book of the Summer is now the cool book of the fall. It is in Trump's America, I can tell you with absolute certainty, the best book that has ever been written. And believe me, a lot of people are talking about it. Everybody's talking about it. Everybody's talking about it. It took us one day to write it. On day one.

Because we took a cognitive test and it was book, write, done.

All right. Anyway, please buy our book. It's a great way to support us. It is a really fun read for the fall. Curl up with your pumpkin spice lattes and just enjoy living the American dream in Dipset Trump's America. All right, listener, let's talk about this subject that seems like the world wants you to completely ignore. I'm talking, of course, about our hormones. Hormone health is so important because it controls so many things in our day-to-day life: energy, mood, metabolism, sleep, and even your skin. What if one scoop could fill in the gaps and keep you feeling your best? Would you give it a shot? Pumps and I have, I'm telling you guys, we just recently started using Glow by Beam. It's a once-daily hormone balancing blend for women that has made a huge improvement in our lives, and you guys need to try it, too. Beam contains 18 comprehensive active ingredients, vitamins, minerals, and natural antioxidants, and added electrolytes for a hydration boost. Over 40,000 women have trusted Glow by Beam to support their hormone health, and now it's your turn. Glow is here to help bring you back to balance because balance isn't a luxury.

It's essential. For a limited time, Beam is offering our listeners up to 35% off Glow. Just visit shopbeam. Com/hadit and use code Had It at checkout. That's shopbeambeam. Com/hadit. Don't forget to use that code Had It for your exclusive discount. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes minutes, and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Visit progressive. Com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates, potential savings will vary, not available in all states. Okay, we have some news I want to share with everybody. This is #breakingnews. This is a point where the science catches up with what Pumps and I have been saying. The headline from Right Wing Watch is, Data Analysis Shows, Maga obsessively consumes trans Porn. And this makes a lot of sense. And we've been saying this for three years now, that you need to look at the Google search history of the right wingers.

When they start talking about private parts and start talking about sex lives and start talking about gender and start talking about the rainbow flag and drag queens. Look at their Google search history. Look at their Pornhub history. And going on, Republicans secretly love what they publicly So far in 2022, more than 300 anti-LGBTQ bills have been proposed across 36 states, at least one-third of which are directed at trans youth. This surge, especially in anti-trans legislation from Republicans, stands in stark contrast to a startling fact. Republicans love transgender porn a lot. With more than 4. 7 7 million transgender porn-related searches each month, do Republicans represent those searching most? The answer seems to be a clear yes. In fact, the more Republican they are, the more they seem to like it. The data tells a tragic tale of self-loathing closet cases, Republicans who privately get off sexually to trans folks while publicly trying to remove trans people's rights and stoking hate against them. In fact, the more Republican they are, the more they seem to like it. Okay, now let's dive into the data pumps. Who is most obsessed with searching for trans porn? Let's go over the top 10 states.

We have coming in at number one, Texas, number two, Georgia, Number 3, Kentucky. Number 4, Missouri. Number 5, Kansas. Number 6, Virginia. Number 7, North Carolina, eight, Illinois, nine, Mississippi, 10, Tennessee. I think out of these top 10, 8 are deeply, deeply, deeply red states. And here's where it gets even jucier. Let's go to the cities. Number 1, Wichita Falls, Texas, and Lawn, Oklahoma. You guys, Lawn, Oklahoma, as you all know, we're from Oklahoma. But this really surprises me zero. Zero. Because this anti-gay stuff, when I was being raised, and I remember hearing all of the homophobia and cruelty. Thankfully, I had a mother that was compassionate, empathetic, and taught me how to embrace these people, has now gone to this trans issue. You might remember who was a North Carolina gubernator.

May Robinson. I can't remember his first name, but it was Robinson.

He was the sitting Lieutenant Governor. North Carolina Gubernatorial candidate. Trump endorsed him, and it was revealed that he was a connoisseur of trans porn. And so, Kylie, put that list back up. And then we have Atlanta, Denver, Nashville, Sioux City, South Dakota, Christie Nooms territory, Paduca, Minneapolis, Little Rock, Lexington, Kentucky, Bismarck, and Rillow, Lincoln, and number 13, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. So this is classic, classic Republicans. They have everything. The people I was I don't have empathy for, the people who have everything and they're still mad. The testament to somebody's true character is somebody who has everything and then fights for those that don't. That's how you can tell the character of somebody, who they are when they put their head on their pillow at night. Are these people good people or not? Are they fighting for people to have the same opportunity as them, or are they oppressors? And in In this instance, you see all of these Republicans, they hate themselves, and so they have to ruin the country. They have to ruin trans people. They're literally parading around on Twitter claiming that there are trans terror cells in the United States that were activated.

Well, when the MAGA shooter of Charlie Kirk was exposed, Trump immediately started talking about transgender people because he knows it's a hot button issue. But when you have politicians that sit there nonstop and talking and degrading LGBTQIA plus people, drag queens, trans people. I immediately know they're in the closet. Immediately. Because a normal straight person that doesn't give a shit isn't talking about it all the time. And it's all you hear on the right.

It's crazy. It's so crazy. It's so horrible to live in a country right now where 77 million people are okay with people that aren't like them getting bullied by their government. It's one thing when people talk shit on the internet, you can choose not to get on the internet anymore. You can choose not to get on a social media site. But when the government and corporations start actively making your life harder. I'm remiss. It all starts with these churches.

I was going to say, I think a lot of it in these red states is because they're super religious.

Well, the churches have identified gay people and trans people as inherently evil and sin. And it's a horrific path for these poor kids to try to navigate.

Absolutely. And I absolutely think there is a direct correlation. And these people, instead of just being free and who they are and being their best selves, just shame, self-hatred. And that's why you've got all this down-low porn shit going on. But I do. I think it's 100% related to the churches.

Yeah, I definitely do. Okay, moving along. So that's what's going on with Republicans, MAGA. They're watching a lot of trans-porn. Which we predicted. All right, next up is straight marriage. And it's, how did straight marriage become so miserable for women? And for the first time in history, women don't need men for survival. We can own property, build careers, raise children, and create communities without them, which means the decision to partner is now a choice and not necessity. But even when we engage in this choice, women seem to be getting the short end of the stick. If you dig into the data, a striking paradox emerges. Married men show better health outcomes, lower rates of depression, and longer lifespans than their unmarried counterparts. Married women, however, report higher stress, less freedom, and greater dissatisfaction. What the hell is going on? Relationships often function like one way life rafts, keeping men afloat while leaving women depleted. What we've been taught to call intimacy, caretaking, appeasing, overfunctioning is just codependency.

Wow. Do you I think that some of the backlash in the right wing is that women aren't as interested in getting married? They are not interested in giving up their career to submit to their husband. They are exhaling in higher education. They are getting higher paying jobs. Do you think that that's part of the backlash that we have with all this women shouldn't vote, childless cat ladies rhetoric?

I think a lot of this is... This is my own personal theory as an atheist that was raised around all these Bible thampers. The one thing that I see super-religious parents and super-religious people being focused on is sex. My peers growing up, the conversations about waiting until they were virgins, waiting until they were married, and they were going to remain a virgin until then. Of course, they were the first ones that lost their virginity, but I digress. I think there's this inherent set up when you teach a species, which from a Darwinian standpoint, we need to reproduce, and we're genetically hardwired to do that. But you teach people to suppress something that they're hardwired to do. So you have men that end up hating women because the object of their desire. So you're told from age zero to 25, it's dirty, it's filthy, you can't think that way. Don't beat off, don't get a hard on, lust, Satan, Demons, Beazalbub, 666. I mean, that's basically what's beat into them. You know? Like their whole lives. And then all of a sudden, they get hormones and they want to fuck.

Right.

It's like the most human thing on the planet. So then they fuck and it feels really good. And then afterwards, they're like, Oh, my God, that was dirty. That was nasty. To you that was bad. And so I think a lot of these things are linked. Abortion. Why is that such an issue? Why is that something that is so private? Like if somebody is raped or somebody is incest, all sorts of things that can lead them to that. I think this patriarchal system, that pregnancy, identifies that woman as a slut. Like, okay, she's been marked. She has to be punished for being so sexy to us. She can't just fuck with impunity. It's a punitive thing, taking abortion away is. I think that this whole thing about women finally getting liberated is that we're finding out that the emotional creature, the emotional gender, out of the two of us, are men.

Well, absolutely.

Men are far more emotional. In my marriage, Josh is far more emotional than I am in your marriage.

A hundred %.

And so then, how is all this linked? Trans people, abortion, women. It's all of these patriarchal structures. It's a very nuanced thing, and this is probably why liberalism and podcasting dies, because you have to think deeper and more critically in layers. But you have this layer of you can't have sex. You've got to be pure. Thinking about sex as naughty, dirty. La, la, la. Satan, right? Stop doing that. They do, though. You know you were raised like that. I know, but the la, la, la, la, la be punitive of it. And so then what's born in that is a lot of sexual shame and secrecy. And here's the thing, this is why I think that there's a lot of hatred towards gay men and gay women, because they had to go through, they had to dig through all of this shame that was projected onto them. And now, gay men are able to. It's crazy. They can get on Grinder and it's like, Hi, how are you? They don't even do that. Want to meet up? How big's your dick? It's very transactional. Top, bottom, we're not a good fit, and then they just go on to something else.

And there's no shame involved in it, where our mating rituals are so wrought with shame and all of this biblical shit. I think if we were to advance a thousand or 2,000 years from now, Pumps, a lot of our problems that we are having right now are an offshoot of Christianity and religion, Abrahamic religions.

I completely agree. I think if you fast forward the tape, that's why all of this is going on. Women have to be kept in their place because the Bible says, Men are the head of the household.

And the same with Islam. It's these Abrahamic religions that are inherently patriarchal. And you have, from a timeline standpoint, you have these people that are really clinging on to it and trying to keep it. It's a great way to control people. It's a great way to... It's a great thing for white men. It's absolutely the best thing for white men.

Okay, let me ask you this.

Did that make sense?

A hundred %. Yeah, it's exactly what my experience was, the social construct around religion.

But let's talk about this, okay? So this whole notion that marriage benefits men more than it benefits women has been a hundred % my experience, and I love my husband, you guys. But there is no question, he has been on the receiving end of our marriage. And I have drawn the short end of the stick. Not always. I'm not a victim. None of that. But it has required a lot more handling of his issues than it has of mine.

Agree. But one thing I was going to say about me growing up in a super religious family, surrounded by super religious people. The gender roles, they are very ingrained. That is how they are supposed to go. Women do the laundry, raise the kids, cook, clean, blah, blah, blah, blah, aim, get an education, have a career. But you do not see men... And men are not... I remember my mom would say something about... If I was going out of town on a girls' trip, my mom would say, Well, do you want me to watch the kids? I'm like, They have a dad. Their dad can watch them. But that was such a surprise to her because childcare and all that is women. So all the responsibility falls on women. Now, women, and this is a religious thing as much as anything. In in my experience, because it's from the Bible, and then you go out into the workforce and you have all those additional responsibilities, plus earning money, plus balancing a career, plus getting an education. While men, in my experience, have been pigeonholed that as long as they're making money, they are required to do less around the house with the children.

So that's one good thing about this younger generation, is they're far less married to those old constructs of child rearing and all that.

No, I agree with that. But I want to get back to the essence of the article, which is that marriage is disproportionately beneficial Straight marriage is disproportionately benefiting the male, and the women are left with all of the data digging into it. It's not as beneficial.

I completely think that's right. I certainly know it was in my experience. And just looking at how I was I can see why that happens.

Yeah. And then if I think about my girlfriends, when I think about... There's one friend that I have where she's a problem. She would be a lot to be married to if I'm being really objective. But in general, it always feels like men, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, in public, they have to... Society has put onto them, you have to be a tough guy, you have to be an alpha male. And then when you get in private, they're really pretty vulnerable creatures that have never been able to fully express themselves emotionally because it's been shunned.

Yeah.

And so then the woman has to absorb this emotionally stunted male who was told, Don't feel that. That's not manly. That's not masculine. And they're still human beings. And so then they get in these marriages, and you have this emotionally stunted male that you have to raise some because society didn't allow how this man to feel his emotions. I can give you all an example about this. My dad fought in the Vietnam War, like many, many men his generation did, and he never really talked about it, ever. He never talked about it. We knew he went there. We knew he had awards and stuff, but he's not one of these loud speakers about his service because that was just everybody did it, except for, of course, kinks. Anyway, recently, when a friend of my son's died, of my youngest son's, he tragically drowned, and it was devastating. My son, of course, just so upset that, for instance, they were three. It was just one of those Earth-shattering moments. And my dad was really worried about my son. I was really worried about my son. I was worried about all these kids. And my dad called me, and I remember where I was.

I was in front of the airport. And my dad, he was of that generation of boomer, where you weren't allowed to really have emotions or talk about the stuff. You're a man, buckle up, buttercup, move on down the road. And so he said, How's Roman doing? I said, Daddy, He's not doing good. I'm just so worried about him. He's so heartbroken, and it's just this thing is so tragic. It's very hard to comprehend. And my dad said, Yeah, something like that happened to me. I said, What happened? He said, When I was in Vietnam, one of my best childhood friends, was with me, and we were actually in the same platoon or battalion, whatever it's called. And we were taking fire, and he got shot right in front of me.

Oh, my God. I didn't know this.

I didn't either until last year. I was just like, Oh, my God. He said, You know what? I never talked about it, and I never told anybody about it. We just didn't do that. But it really affected me. It's really still affecting me. But my son experiencing the loss of one of his best friends triggered my dad. I'm 51 years old, and that was the most real moment I'd ever had with my dad. And it was a real window for me to see what could sometimes seem aloof or detached in him. Was somebody really suffering with PTSD in a system that doesn't enable men to embrace their emotions, because if he would have done that, that generation, then that's, Oh, what a wuss. What a sissy. I share that because I think a lot of us have had parents that... My dad's a wonderful father. He's a great grandfather. Every family has dysfunction. Every family has their issues. I share that because I think a lot of us have this idea of gender, particularly around masculinity, that they're trying to resurrect.

Yes.

And I think men are better served when they're allowed and taught to feel their emotions. And I think if they can be more in touch with their emotions, then they can be more in touch with other people's emotions. For example, maybe a gay person or a trans person that's getting bullied. If you've been encouraged and taught to feel your emotions and not had them dismissed, and you've really been in a therapeutic setting in the home or with a therapist, then you're probably more likely to feel empathy.

I completely agree with that. I completely agree with that. And I think, like you said, it's so gender specific. Men aren't supposed to feel. Men aren't supposed to cry.

I feel like Magga is resurrecting the broken man. They are. They absolutely are. The man where women walk away from a marriage and they don't feel benefited. And then you and I have these nephews. My nephews are her nephews, too, because that's how long we've been friends. And my nephews are now having babies. And the participation of both genders, of raising the kids, how equally divided it is, and the conversations, their millennials, the conversations they have about their feelings, it's progress.

It's absolutely progress. And I don't think there's I mean, I don't think it's a mystery why both of those men are sensitive, caring, and they want good for other people. I mean, I just don't think that's a coincidence.

Yeah, and they picked women, their spouse Houses, shout out to Lauren and Madison. They picked women that embrace wherever my nephews came from, because everybody comes from their own version of brokenness, and where these things are talked about. I think that so much of all of this stuff that we've gone to is everybody just has been told to play a certain role. I feel like right now we were on the verge of really starting to see progress in pockets of places. I feel like the MAGA movement, perhaps, is just making everything worse. Like, even men, the progress they were making. Now they're bullying trans people while beating off to trans porn. I know.

It's just like WWE.

It is. It is WWE.

They want men to be like Stone Cold Steve Austin. It's just bizarre to me.

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Well, and he's probably... The thing about emotions like that and trauma like that is it does manifest itself in some way. So him just not talking about it. It doesn't mean he hasn't felt it or it hasn't impacted how he has made decisions and things of that nature.

He said, he said to me, I said, Oh, my God, dad, I'm so sorry that you've kept that in for so long. And he said, That's just what we did. Yeah. But it's bothered me. I mean, it's been locked inside him, but I think it's been omnipresent all the time. And whereas when Roman's friend passed, fortunately for me, I was able to send him to a therapist. He went to therapy two and three times a week, and I encouraged him, Feel your feelings. And I'd go up to his room, and he would be sitting on the bed just crying. And I never said, Don't cry, don't feel it. I was just like, I'm I'm so sorry, this is a part of the grieving process. I embraced that this is a part of the human experience to grieve somebody. You have to feel everything in everybody's own journey, and that is different. But generations prior to Roman, like my dad's, weren't afforded that avenue. That wasn't a way to go. Then you have all of these veterans that have all of these issues, PTSD, mental issues, homelessness. Homelessness. All the homeless people that- Medical issues. Yeah, that the Fox News hosts say that we should euthanize.

A lot of these people are veterans, that their country sent them over and they saw some bad shit, and they have PTSD, and It's just not so all black and white. Oh, this is something. I saw this thing, Pumps. What is it? Kevin Stitt, the governor.

Oh, my gosh. I saw it, too. People were sending it to me. Just like, what a fucking asshole.

All right, listener, we have a governor of our state, Oklahoma, his name's Kevin Stitt. He's this big, disgusting Bible thumper. And I say that because he leads with his religion all the time. He's the one that has to talk about it all the time. I have no idea what Gavin Newsom's religion is because I've never heard him talk about it. But Kevin Stitt talks about his religion nonstop. So there are some people talking about homelessness in Oklahoma City. And Kevin Stitt refers to these people that want to help homeless people as- Goody two shoes, do-gooders. Do-gooders or goody two shoes, like very dismissive. And that's the part where we have to... There's something broken in him. Kevin Stitt is a broken man who weaponizes his religion to help billionaires. And then, meanwhile, when rubber hits the road, he demonizes people that want to help the poor. Absolutely. The most anti-Christ politician in the state is Kevin Stitt. I will just tell you. He's a walking advertisement, Why not to be a Christian? By Kevin Stitt.

Yeah, he is. I absolutely agree. The lack of empathy from Christians that I love, that are close to me, when you press them and you realize there is no empathy there, that hurts me more than any of it, I think. That what you preached your whole life and what you said Jesus stood for, now you're the opposite, and you think you're right, that you have no empathy, and you don't care. And in fact, you dig it. You dig demeaning people.

But don't you think that's the lie that you're telling yourself that they preach for it their whole lives? Because you look at what this white-nationalist Christianity is. It's an extension of the form of white churches that enabled KKK type stuff. And when you grow up in a racist home, and that is the underlying theme of it, while at the same time they pepper in, Oh, Jesus is about forgiveness, and Jesus is about goodness, you're just living cognitive dissonance all at one time. And so Maybe, Pumps, it's not that it's just been revealed to you that she has no empathy, but you yourself have now found empathy, and you no longer belong in the cognitive dissonance world of that. She hasn't changed, but you have.

That could be right, because I will be the first to admit, the cognitive dissonance that I had was off the charts. If you were going to scale it 1-100, I was seven million.

You've changed so much that, listener, I would talk to Pumps about health care, and she would look at me as cold and calloused as you could ever be, just like a MAGA person. She'd say, As long as I have health care, I really don't give a shit if other people have it or not. I would talk about racial issues, gay issues. If it didn't affect her, she didn't care. And so that's why I think your story is so important. It's not that they preached a certain way and changed. You've changed. You've done this amazing, amazing work. And now you find yourself back with these people that you love and that love you, but you're a different person, a better person, an enlightened person. And you're like, Oh, Fuck. They're racist MAGA people. Oh, shit. I can't unsee this. And I think that's happening all over the country. Yeah, it is. I don't think it's happening to you in a vacuum.

I get DMs about it all the time.

But the thing that's changed is you. You're a different person than the girl I met that was teaching Bible study and didn't care about marginalized people. Now you're their biggest champion, and it's beautiful.

Well, I appreciate that. And you're probably right about that at the end of the day. It's not them that's changed, that's me in my idealized version.

Yeah, and that's painful, and I hate that for you. But the thing that's changed is you. I've known her the whole time. There's been zero change. I've absorbed it the exact same way across the board. You're the one who's experiencing what I experienced the very first meeting for the first time. And listen, it's really like, this is a sad part of America for international listeners. Trump, it's not just that he's tearing communities up. It's families. He's exposed the worst part of people. And then in many ways, he's been an impetus for people to really find a lot more empathy because he's so void of it. The reaction is Oh, my God. But it's really... I feel we get DMs and emails and voice memos out the wazoo of people like Pumps that have these crazy mega family people.

Yeah. I mean, that is where we are as a country, as families. You wouldn't think that when you say who you voted for President, wouldn't tear up a family. I've disagreed with who my parents voted for before.

Oh, yeah.

But this is so different because it is so devoid of empathy. It is so racial. It is so homophobic. It is so regressive that it's really not a political issue. Now we're talking about morals. You think it's okay to send somebody to Allegate or Alcatraz? You're all up for that? Who the fuck are you?

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. That's the part. It hurts. Unfortunately, my My parents are really progressive, but it would... When I have friends that I know... There are some women that I know that we play pickleball with these lesbians that are married, that are darling, that are kind, that are nice, that, sadly, in Oklahoma, they feel like they have to un-gay themselves a little bit to be accepted by their heterosexual, upper-class white female friends. And when I see them embrace, Hi, it's nice to see you all. I don't play with them anymore. I haven't been able to since the last election. But I would see them embrace these lesbians who make my life better. I don't give a fuck if they're lesbian or not. It actually makes me like them more because I know it was harder. Their path to be a good person was much harder than the white woman that judges them. It hurts me when I see that somebody is capable of kindness to somebody's face and then goes to the voting booth and then consumes and salivates over Fox News where these people are dehumanized, and then they don't feel it.

That really affects me. And so it makes me, I'm such a nut about my conviction that it makes me like, that I'm going to fight harder. And you can still play pickleball with them, you lesbians, but I'm not playing pickleball with them. You're not strong enough to draw the boundary, but I'm going to draw the boundary because they're going to feel it from fucking somebody. It might as well be this white privileged woman. And that's how I feel about it. And there's a couple of people that to this day said racist shit when our kids were on that basketball team. When they pass me the death stare that I give them. I've seen it. It is undeniable that I know you say racist shit about little black kids, and I will never forget it. So don't come up to me and pretend that you can be friendly, and then I'm going to pick up the rug, like a lot of white people do, and sweep it under and roll it back out, because this bitch is not doing that. I'm not doing it, It makes me feel like I need to be meaner. Kind of does.

You know?

Yeah, it does.

All right, well, we didn't even do anything fun this episode, did we?

No. It got deep. We didn't know this was going to happen. You know what?

Sometimes we need to.

Sometimes we need therapy because it's fucking crazy out there.

Sometimes we need to talk about... Everybody's going through a lot. Everybody is going through a lot. Everybody comes to this podcast for some form of rest, but sometimes the break is a reminder that we're all feeling this trauma together, and we all are feeling this fear together. We're all seeing the same thing together. We're not crazy. And then we're capable of feeling compound emotions.

Yeah. You know, that's one thing, growing up in a super-religious house. I really didn't know that that was allowed.

I remember. I remember when your marriage was unraveling I just couldn't do... I remember you having so tortured by picking just one emotion in a moment. Yes. And I remember we were sitting on my front porch smoking Marlborough lights, and I remember specifically telling you, You can hate your husband while at the same time still feel deep love and a familial bond for him. You can have both of those feelings at the same time. And you were like, What? What? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you just couldn't believe it, like that you could actually feel two conflicting things at one time. Yeah.

Here's the deal. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, unfortunately.

You are now.

But I'm trying.

Well, you know what? You were always smart. You went to law school and all that. You were just discouraged.

Critical thinking went in my belly whack.

Yeah, I was discouraged.

All right. So thank you for being with this episode. We'll be a lot more fun next time.

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All right. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called iHip News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minutes hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.

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