Transcript of The Guest You've All Been Waiting For... | Dropouts #240

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If you could become any other race, what would you choose and why?

Here we go.

He goes white twice.

Why are you making this worse?

The edibles are hitting.

I didn't know you actually took it. I thought they were joking. No, I'm. Here we go.

So Nikola Tesla was brown with a time machine.

No way. No way already.

Nikola Tesla. What's up, guys? Welcome to episode 240 of the Dropouts podcast. This week, we got an all-white cast All right, let's jump right in.

One-third Middle Eastern.

Never mind. One-third Arab.

A little bit Arab. A little bit Arab.

Out of everyone in the house, who bickers with who the most?

Oh, these two. Oh, these two. They're like an old married couple.

He's sitting like how you do in a middle seat.

It's not fun. He's sitting with his legs spread wide. I have no room for my legs.

Katie, can I get an eye check over here on my legs?

Are they spread wide? They're spread wide.

Don't even come over here. Never mind. That's the angle, dude. Never mind. It's fine. It's soft.

Welcome back to the Drunk episode. Ryan and Ben, Ben and Ryan. They're here from a podcast call. Stop the bit, stop the bit. One's got a mustache, one doesn't. He could grow a pretty good beard. The other one looks Middle Eastern.

What are you talking about? But I am Middle Eastern.

What?

Get the fuck out of this. No, I'm just But your shirt insinuates not.

Well, I'm Asian.

That was me as a friend.

That's more just Eastern.

Eastern.

Who is this on the shirt?

This is my roommate. Really? Yeah, I live with a little Chinese girl.

I was wondering how you always get the newest iPhone so fast. She builds it right there.

Yeah.

Keep going.

Modern day Woody Allen. This is beautiful.

That's really good.

How long you guys been friends? What's her name?

How long are we going to do this?

I can go an hour and a half on this shirt, so you better watch it.

Just until you say something just out of pocket, and then we're just going to cut it there. So what's her name?

Perfect. Well, do you want to know her Chinese name? Yes. Just do sounds. I know. Gong-yong.

Gong-yong? Gong-yong, really? I don't even know that.

Gan Yang.

I don't think that's it.

Is that just the sound whenever you hit the big metal thing is what it sounds like? Gan Yang. Yeah, that's racist. Unfortunately, racist.

I'll say paired with the militia, man vibe you have going on, you're going to do well in the... People are going to lie.

Baseball hat, liberal shirt, conservative pants. Hell, yeah.

Liberal, conservative boots.

Make goss boots.

What about the socks?

What socks you're rocking?

Just military.

You've got a warm set of leg hair on you.

Yeah, and Middle Eastern.

Look at those powerful...

You got dad caps.

Yeah, that's all genetics.

I've got my dad's caps, which are fucking... What the fuck is that?

No, you got like, basketball player caps.

Also, do I have come on there? Look at that.

What the fuck? That's probably from the dog.

Did you guys ever get find come on you the next day at school? I've never found cum on me.

Did you say middle school?

You look like you find not even your own cum on you.

You found cum on you all the time as a kid?

That was the end, you just scrape it off inconspicuously. You ask a question, everybody can be enthralled with what the teacher is going to say, you start scraping with your nails. Then you don't buy your nails until the next bathroom.

Is it on your clothes or on your body?

No, it's on your body. It's stuck in some leg hair.

Eel.

Yeah, you're right.

Mine would be on your inside of my clothes.

It'd be on your body,Yeah, that's a whole other thing.

It's not a lot. It's just enough to twist for a second. You know what I mean?

It gets a little crunchy. You guys are discussing.

You guys just be like, It was just a school glue thing.

Is it like a dry booger?

What's that? Yeah.

The way you say that word. When I was editing today, you said that word the same way.

Say it again.

Booger.

Booger? That's a meal. That's a food.

Burger.

When you drink, you devolve into, I assume-A child.

Not that, but...

But yeah, Do you go to a childlike state or do you feel wonder?

Just having fun.

Oh, good.

I apologize for-That childlike wonder. Yeah, that's my bad. Feeling life. Okay.

You mind if I go back to Mustache Man and Barnacle Boy?

Mustache Man and Barnacle Boy. Mustache Man and Barnacle Boy.

That's a good description.

We're getting hazed in, man. That's okay. We're going to have to take some of that. Yeah, dude. Mustache Man. Yeah, we're the frat. We're getting hazed in.

Are you guys in frats?

Come on, man. Look at us.

You could have snuck in in the back and stolen some stuff.

Could have made him laugh. Yeah. Then be like, All right, now do a pull up.

Make us laugh then. You're going to be in this frat.

That's the worst thing ever. Remember you had that story where you're in a hot tub and some guy was like, Oh, this guy's from a YouTuber. Make us laugh, dude. Then you just had to do a joke.

Did you went through and you did a joke?

It was a public hot tub. No, I just made fun of him, and then everyone else started laughing. Hold on, man.

Why did it It's public hot tub?

It was like an apartment complex.

No, you get into some stories late at night with an old guy who's hanging out a little too much. That guy's got some stories. He'll linger and be like, Look at the tits on that one. He'll see that. Yeah. You'll have to look and agree to not make it awkward?

Yeah, look at the tits on her.

For sure, the tits on her.

Look at those tits. And then you're like...

Do you think old people understand when people are being dismissive like that?

That's a good question, because otherwise, you assume they're just not noticing because you just started very clearly shutting it down. Yeah.

If anybody did that to me, where they said it just like that, I'd be like, Fuck you then. But old people just go along with it. So do they not realize that?

I just don't I don't think they care anymore.

I think there's a.

I feel like everyone makes that plan, right? I was telling my friend the other day where I was like, When I'm 60, I'm just going to get a perk addiction. Do whatever I want.

Because that's the classic. Who cares anymore?

Maybe you could start early, too. I mean, why not? If you want to work on it, at least one day a week.

If they confirmed that global warming was about to take full effect and everything was about to hit the fan, we'd all just... Oh, yeah.

I would lose all sense of reality. Who cares anymore? And self-preservation, gone.

I do on the deathbed, I've never even participated in the smoking of the joints. So I would like to in the last... Try it. 5 years. No, I want to do the hard, like heroine. I want to do that.

Just go out in a panic. You think it would be a panic? The smoking weed, maybe.

I'm going to go straight to the harder stuff. I do want to maybe... Is it DMT? Yeah. I do want to do that at an old, elder age.

Dmt, right? He's told his DMT story. Oh, yeah.

Yours was bad, wasn't it? Not bad, but you... Yeah, tell it. Or do you want to tell it?

Yeah, tell it, funny boy.

It was revolutionary. There we go.

Yeah, I did DMT on a whim when I was really hammered one night, like two years ago, and somebody had a DMT pen.

Which feels like a weird... Yeah. Why would you make a pen if it's for sure once in a year thing to do.

You got to be really careful with this, but let's make it as accessible as possible.

I did listen to a podcast one time. It changes your paradigm. I saw a clip, it was Young Gravy. I think he does DMT on the regular. Really?

I've heard that people do it.

Maybe he hits it every day. It's crazy.

Can you imagine that can't be.

I don't know. It's not good.

I don't know. Maybe it is.

The weirdest combo I've had-I forgot you were beside me. As of recent, it was me, Young Gravy, and Brian Johnson checking our biological age in his lab in his house. I'm looking at him like, what's going on? You just reflect on your life. I don't know if these good decisions have got me here, bad decisions. But me and Young Grave are hanging out with the guy that's going to live forever. This is strange.

I'm so-Thingy?

What? Didn't you have such a good-Balls? No. You pulled a thing and you had really strong-Grip strength.

No, elicit. Now, that is something that's not only topical, but intelligent.

Let's give a round of applause. Thank you, Alyssa.

Thank you. It's going to keep cutting to me saying that anytime she says something.

We didn't get enough. We didn't get enough.

But no, I do know what you're speaking about. I apologize. So he says for longevity, one of the best things to measure is your grip strength. Really? I had good grip strength. I don't know how to say that subtly.

You got good grip?

I got a really good grip.

The guerrilla grip, some might say?

No, that is a vagina. Sorry. Which is not something we bring up.

A vagina? And that's my bad.

Would that...

Do you think that would be good longevity?

Did he have a device?

Why would it be?

How does that relate?

Could a girl go in there and be like, I've got a great grip strength.

He's like, You're going to live a long time. Like a Kegel measuring device. Yeah.

Okay.

Did you just get turned on by...

No, she got disgusted. Oh, yeah.

I think she was really grossed out by that.

Well, we'll switch topics. Thank you so much. You were saying you had a weird combination of things, me and people in a situation. One time me and Ben went to a luchador wrestling match with the voice of Spongebob.

Tom Kenny. Yeah. And Ice King.

How did that happen?

Who congregated? Who got the text thread together?

It was our friend Joel Haver had set it up. I had been in LA for three days. Whoa. And Spongebob is my fucking favorite thing ever. And so I was like, okay, yeah. Obviously, yes. Like, Lichador wrestling match with Tom Kenny, for sure. And then it was just insane. Tom Kenny was just like the dad at a birthday party. There was no weird, I'm a celebrity. He's like, Hey, guys, here are the tickets. Hi, I'm Tom. I was like, I know. I was like, I know, man. And then he was the fucking coolest. He was just passionate about the wrestling match. It was just like in a hangar.

He seems like the nicest person.

He was the fucking best. He loves being famous as As far as I could tell. He did not... People kept coming up to him and taking pictures. Oh, yeah, for sure. If I were him, I'd be like, I met my friends. We cut him off once.

At a bar? He was heading into the Nickelodeon building. He was also coming in, but it was just his first time I've ever been to Nickelodeon building. And it's just like, SpungeBob is like, we're trying to both get in at the same time. And he drove like, I mean, a Toyota, like Honda, like not new. Like, normal. I don't know. It's just super endearing to me to see. It's like my childhood has just... He's got a good heart.

That's the best part. It makes it all just as good as I always wanted it to be that he was cool. It just matters so much. It made me be like, okay, I got to figure out a way to be able to be like that when I run into people, if ever I get to that point.

Because you walk in the bathroom, he's ripping Coke.

You're like, oh, that's why. That's how he can do that voice.

That's why he's so chill.

He needs to take breaks.

This is a fun segment. I That's what I like to do every single time called... Hold on. Alyssa, what were we just talking about? It's a good segment.

You were talking about a sponge bob at a birthday party. You cut sponge bob off at the Nickelodeon thing, and I said, I don't even know what Spongebob looks like.

Wait, the actual character or the voice?

The voice, the guy.

The character, you know what I thought. Okay.

I don't know what it looks like either.

Patchy the pirate.

It's hard.

You know Patchy the pirate? That's him?

Tom Kennedy plays Patchy the pirate. No way.

Patchy the pirate. Who the fuck's that?

He's like a segment on Spongebob. He's like the real life pirate. Oh, yeah.

I want to bring up something about pirates.

Okay. I didn't know you were this opinionated.

No, I was a TikTok away from this information. Not away. You guys might have seen it. But the original Peter Pan. You saw this?

Yeah, you showed me this.

Oh, I show everybody good stuff. But he would bring the Lost Boys, and whenever they started to age, he would kill them. And Captain Hook was the first Lost Boy, and he was trying to get away and cut his hand off. And all the people on the pirate ship are all Lost Boys, but that's why they hate each other. That's why he hates Peter Pan. And obviously, they don't depict that in the Disney version, but I guess that was the first version.

That's a little dark for children.

Is that a theory or the original?

That was the original story, right?

No, I think that's the original. It's like the Grim series or whatever. All of those fairy tales are extremely dark.

That should be made as a show. That's a good show.

It's funny you say that there is a show called Grim. It's from a long time ago. It's not exactly... It's not like...

Wait, Jared, give me one of these. Okay, I thought you were going to die.

He's getting high, and you're like, Oh, dude, I think you're going to die.

I thought you was having the shake. I'm going to check on him. His left arm was limp, not moving at all. I'm like, This is a hard attack. Lots of great stories.

The original stories. Yeah, it's a show from a long time ago. It's not exactly like fairy tales, like Tinkers Bell or Peter Pan, but they have fairy tale creatures in them.

Yeah, they're all Grims tables. It's the Grim Brothers or whatever, right? Yeah. Those were really fucked up stories. That was before fairy tales. I think they were before fairy tales were for kids.

My eyes get tired, my eyes get droopy, my eyes get sad. My mind gets loopy, but not when I drink this sugar free drink, Accelerator. Thank you. And that was a wink.

As you guys may have heard, we love Accelerator on this show.

I drink that every time. I'm sure all your friends told you that we love Accelerator on this show. I'm sure you've heard it through the pines. I'm sure you've heard a whisper of the winds through some live oak that are bundled together. And then you hear the Dropouts podcast likes Accelerator.

I drink it every time that we do a show and in the mornings when I go to workout Because I get a nice little boost of energy. I drink it because it tastes good. I get me through the day.

I don't need all this fluff that you keep talking about. How about it gives me energy and tastes good? Can we just end it there?

Yeah, it's delicious, okay?

No, don't buy into this, trying to make it all addy. I like it. That's enough. Drink it because Daddy likes it.

And if you guys want to get it because Daddy likes it, it's available on Amazon. I'm just using terminology that you used.

I prefer father daddy.

So upgrade your energy and click the link in our description to go straight to their Amazon storefront. Again, click the link in our description to go straight to their Amazon storefront and get you some Accelerator. I promise it's delicious.

Okay, listen, I put on underwear every day. It just happens. But today I put on skims, and I wanted to be a hater when it came to the material that is currently caressing something that will produce children.

Because you expected it from all of your past experience with underwear. I know that I have.

Well, I haven't had the most terrible experience, but I've never had such an amazing experience where I was like, When did God get a sewing machine? And my butt feels nice in them. I don't want to beat around the bush. Speaking of Bush, I don't have one, but I assume if you had a Bush, you'd also feel good in there.

My skims don't ride up in the crotch area. The waistband isn't too tight or too loose. Honestly, it feels perfect. I forget that I'm wearing them throughout the day, which is what you want from underwear.

I know because you always pants, you'll drop your pants and you go, ha. And then I'll be like, dude, no, you have skims. I thought I had nothing on. I was trying to get you with my mooning. But yeah, no, you're wearing something so comfortable. You don't even have it on.

You think we're lying? Look, Zack's got it on right now. It's hard to see. Don't hold your crotch. It's hard to see because it's black on black. Okay, but that's the obsidian color, the five-inch stretchy shorts. I figured that. Oh, that's okay. Alyssa's losing her mind over there.

Shop Skimsmen at skims. Com and Skims Stores. Let them know we sent you after you place your order, select our podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop-down menu that follows.

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Seriously, guys, they're awesome. Kids, things from, I would say, 1800s and earlier are all really fucking dark. Ring Around the Rosie, isn't that about the plague or something?

Yeah, it's Ring Around the people. They all fall down.

You said, yeah, you didn't know, dude.

But if you say anything with confidence.

And then what was the one Lilo and Stitch was about, like, hating Mexicans? What?

No, it wasn't, man. No.

What? No. Not all of them. I think that was just a writer's room.

It was an early pitch. Is Stitch supposed to be a Mexican? The aliens coming in and simulating. It was rough stuff. And then the way they depicted them as monsters, I wasn't on board. What?

It's an allegory. It was representing.

No, it wasn't, dude. Remember when they said... Remember when Stitch was like, Who wants their tacos? I was like...

He saw a director's cut that I don't think any of us-I was five years old, and I was like, I'm not dealing with this because I grew up in Vegas, primarily Hispanic in the school I grew up in.

So I grew up in Latinas. And when I went to school, and I would thank you, and I would walk up to him.

Very good.

I would be like, I'm not watching this movie.

Yeah, because you stand in solidarity.

Yeah, I'll stand on the backs of them. That way I can-Well, dude, watch your mouth. Thank you. That's a racism test, and you passed. Thank you. Thank you. Remember, you're out of show.

I thought about this earlier when we were talking about old people. Have I told you guys when I went to the concert with an old Uber driver, when I was in Atlanta? No. What? This is a crazy story. I was in an Uber with me and my buddy and my buddy's girlfriend on the way to a concert in Atlanta. And we got to a part of town that wasn't the safest. And there were all these guys on four-wheelers in the other lane. So it was a two-lane road, and then there was a median. So we were in the median trying to take a left turn. They were all coming down the road, like two, three wide. My Uber driver was like, I'm sick of these motherfuckers. He pulls a flash light out and starts trying to blind the four-wheel drivers. The first one, because I'm in the front seat, I'm looking in his side mirror. The first one he flashes that passes us hammers the brakes. They surround our vehicle, and they're like, Get the fuck out of the car, you bitch-ass motherfuckers. Get the fuck out of the car.

And you're just like, I'm a passenger.

I swear to God, I was like, We don't know him. Hehe's an Uber driver. And they're like, Get the fuck out. And this guy, he finally, he drove off, thank God. And then I was like, Hey, man, that didn't feel very safe. Did you have a weapon or something? He's like, No. I was like, Don't do that, please. I don't know if I have to get you four stars, and that's not...

Just one star for almost dying.

That is like a tale of how we are with service people. I don't know. I used to work in restaurants. So even if someone could spit on me, and I'd still be like, All right, only 19% today.

Really? I've tipped zero once.

Oh, my God.

What race was the race?

African-american. No, it was when I was 19 and had a fake ID. And I was like, Hey, do you have Corona? And it was super busy. And then I was like, Hey, do you have Corona? Excuse me, do you have Corona? And then the guy was like, Hey, we don't have fucking Corona.

I was like, Zero.

It was an outside on top of a rooftop and had a pool, so I tipped zero. I actually wrote, Fuck you. And then I got in the pool and I was like, That's what I mean. And then these two security guards came around and I was like, That's for me. They're just like, Come here. I got out of the pool. They're like, So you wrote, Fuck you. The bartender was standing there. No way.

That's bullshit.

That's so lame. Then I was like, Yeah, well, this is what happened. I kept asking him.

Such a vulnerable state, too, that you're in.

Then he snapped at me. I was just, Hold on.

Do you have a time? I was just saying, ask me for chrono.

You're trying to get out of the pool. You're trying to get out of the pool.

You're trying to pull yourself up. I'm sticking the thing from your dick. Yeah, anyway, he yelled at me.

Did you guys... No, don't look. Yeah, I don't know. He's mean. They're just like, All right, well, sorry for the service. And then they went over. Oh, that was fine. Told him, and yeah, it was fine.

Okay, well, there you go. Did you go back to swimming?

I did. Just swam. I'll dive back into the pool.

Do you think we'll ever get away from having to get out of a pool and do this? I don't know. I've never been.

That is the cross that men have to bear.

I thought when I got older, as a kid, I was like, no one's seeing this tiny penis. And then now it's That's the same. Right. Which I hate.

Would you do that because you're smaller at the bottom or because if you're bigger, then you don't do that because...

Hold on.

Let's start on the phone one more time.

You just don't want anyone to see your dick, I think. Yeah, generally.

What was the question?

What bar has a pool in it?

It was like a rooftop, like a hotel, maybe.

Yeah, I don't know. Do you mind if I do another segment?

This is on a two-minute delay.

Sorry. This is one of our favorite segments. Our second favorite segment. Alyssa, where are you?

Not at home.

It's fine.

She moved out, right? She moved out, and she's been taking it very hard. Oh, no. She misses the memories of the boys.

That's not a segment at all.

That's my bad. Okay, sorry. I was thinking of the other podcast I do.

It's fine. Okay.

So essentially, the penis went in water.

You're hot? Yeah. It's not in its best state.

It sticks to your body, I get it. You don't want people to see your dick.

You just need to do this. Also, Silky shorts. I don't love. No. You have silky shorts? You just try your best as a man to not show mushroom.

Yeah, of course.

I've never heard a dick called mushroom.

You never heard of a mushroom stamp? Yam for the uncut guys.

I've never heard that.

Yeah, I've never heard that.

Looks like a sweet potato.

Are you uncut?

What? Are you uncut?

No, this is the podcast. Yeah, I'm uncut. Am I the only one? I think you're the only one.

I'm the only one here. I was cut twice. Because we're Americans. Have you heard this story?

He did have two circumcisions.

I had a circumcision at the doctor's office. Then I fucking get home and I'm like, four or something.

It took you four years to get home from the hospital? Yeah. I think I was four.

I go to my mom.

Mom, what is this on my dick?

And she was like... And her mother, my aunt, or my grandmother was a nurse. Who? My grandmother came over and she was like, oh, he just hasn't been circumcised properly. They threw me down on the kitchen table and snipped my dick a little bit up top. Who did this? Your grandma? My grandmother. She's dead now. She deserves it.

Yeah, I mean, after that story.

Damn, bro, for real at four?

Snipped twice. It might have been, yeah.

Might have been older.

Could have been younger, too. I don't really remember. But I remember it happening.

Yeah. Of course you do. I feel like everything around that you wouldn't remember. And then suddenly you're on the kitchen.

That's your first memory. It's beautiful. Is it... It's good now?

It looks... My dick looks normal up top.

Yeah. Nice. Compared to...

But is it your normal or is it the normal normal?

I mean, I've watched.

I've watched.

Where mine is monstrosity.

Yes, of course. A natural monstrosity.

Everybody here has seen porn.

If it's a weird wiener, does it take you out of it?

A hundred %.

Yeah, weird.

Can I be honest? Can I be honest? If If the pea hole's too big, I'm out. If the pea hole's too big, I'm out.

Too big, then if it's really dark, I'm like, whoa. Let's stop there.

Hold on. If the other one looks at one. You know what I mean? Hold on, guys. The pea hole is too big. Ryan, repeat.

If the other one looks normal, I don't really care.

Assinuating, he's watching two penises.

That's right. There's two penises. Unless DP. Other than maybe it's D.

So the male's pea hole.

Bye, Katie. Bye.

Bye, Katie.

My bike, it should leave.

Wait, wait. Walking out on that, no. Katie, walk in. Before you leave, go into Jared's mic and give us one alien fact.

Oh, cool. What do you mean alien fact?

She's alien. Number one, we got to establish to the fellows you're an alien from the Pleadi Star system.

Pleadistar cluster 442. Billion.

Wait, what? What?

What billion? Wait, what?

What the fuck are we talking about?

I'm not camera ready, guys. Is that where are they?

What are you talking about?

I'm not camera ready.

You're an alien.

If you can't think of anything, we're fine with astrology. Oh, well. Anything you guys want to know, she's clairvoyant.

Where's the moon right now?

We just had a full moon. It's waning. Currently waning. Actually, all seven planets are currently in alignment right now. Wait, how many planets total are there?

You should know. I should know. There's eight, right?

Eight or nine. So, yeah, seven are in alignment right now. What does that mean?

Does that mean they're all in alignment?

Indeed, yes. From the sun.

Is Pluto still a planet? No.

I don't think still.

If I tell you my rising, my moon, and my sun, will you tell me who I am? Yes.

Tell me who I am. You're still Ryan, though.

My sun is Cancer, my moon is Leo, and my rising is Scorpio.

Wow. Okay, so you're Your son is Cancer? . Okay, so he's a bit of an emotional sign.

I should have rounded up at Panda Express.

Just saying that because you saw it at our last-No, it's true.

Cancer is ruled by the moon, and it's a watery sign.

Chem Trails. That's what gave my uncle cancer.

Damn, I'm sorry. So essentiallyMoveing on. Your actual sun sign is who you are deep down. Your rising is how you come off to the world, and your moon is how you express yourself emotionally. So you have a Leo moon. That means you're fiery. Leo is very fiery. You like to say what's on your mind, and then you're over it, hopefully. And then you're rising a Scorpio, which is quite a mysterious sign, actually. So maybe perhaps you're hard to read.

He can't read, fucking idiot.

You have the Southern accent.

What does that mean, dude? We know how to read. We can read our fucking Constitution.

Boys, boys.

Hey, give him one of these. Show him the big body. Yeah, I'm going to hurt you up, boy.

It's sad that you and Handsome are going to long because you guys look the same.

Hey, man. Hey, he's trying his best.

Relax, bro. Why are you coming at Skyler?

You were like my dick before with. I meant Buff.

Yeah. Okay. That's good.

All right, Katie, you were saying about me again.

Yeah, you're hard to read as a Scorpio Rising.

Does Marley think you're hard to read? Let's bring Marley.

I think he's pretty easy to read, actually. I spent a lot of time with this guy. But you've spent a lot of time with him. I don't know about that one. I know about every single I'm not a Gemini. I'm a Gemini.

I'm a Gemini, yes. Rising is like as a stranger, how you come off to the world. Like the mask you wear.

It's a stranger. I guess so. Yeah, I could see that.

What's the worst sign?

The worst? Yeah, if you're- I've always wanted- Gemini. I don't really fuck with Pisces.

Oh, I'm sorry.

See, this is why we shouldn't even talk about this because it isn't real. It just makes everyone mad at each other and assume things.

Aren't you a Pisces? Why don't I like you?

You're Gemini? I'm a Gemini. I'm a Gemini rising. That's cool.

Oh, my God, you guys are perfect for each other.

What do you think about Virgos?

I'm a Virgo. There's a lot of Virgos at this company. We are a little psychotic, but we do get shit done. We're a little anal, but-No.

Some of us are a lot.

Practical.

We are quite anal.

Does Cancer and Capricorn make sense to be together?

I think so, because the Capricorn is a grounded sign of the goat. It's very earthy.

Who does a Taurus need?

Skyler says Taurus like Taurus, but Skyler is a Taurus. Stubborn like a bull. No?

Yes, he is.

I'm as easygoing as they come, dude.

It doesn't seem very stubborn to me. I don't know him that well.

Thank you. Sorry, I didn't give you an alien fact. I truly was not camera-read.

You say a million thingsWhat's your day about the aliens, and you can't think of one?

Well, I will give you one.

Well, who've been asking for.

Well, if you insist, I will now say it.

I believe that the orbs we've been seeing, the plasmoid ones, specifically not the drones. Already not a fact. I believe that this is- Those colorful murkaba-looking things. That's a shape in geometry, slightly Jewish-sounding murkaba. But I think that they are interdimensional travel.

Interdimensional beings. Wait, can we do really... Okay, sorry, if I cut you off. Was there something really important?

No, I just think they're slowly revealing themselves to us all across the world right now.

As quick as you can, please tell them about Barron Trump being a time travel there.

Shit. Okay, here we go.

Hold on. Okay, here we go. I've heard the murmurs of this.

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Here we go. Nikola Tesla was fucking around with a time machine.

No way.

No way already.

Nikola Tesla, back in the early...

No, this is a fact.

Okay, go ahead. This is a fact.

I'm interested. He was working on a device that could do time travel back in the late 18th century.

Because he's an The Tesla.

He was working late.

He was working late.

He's working late.

Because he was an inventor.

Because he's a Tesla.

Yes, okay. And so, Barron Trump, when does he come?

Essentially, there was this author called Ingers Lawsson Lockwood, who lived at the time of Tesla. Dara's edibles kicking in right now. I know. That place is so red.

Peeling orange, I dare you.

I haven't even said anything crazy yet. So they Basically, this book details the adventures of a character named Barron Trump, who's a time traveler. For real? Yes. That's the name? Oh, yeah. The book has a different name, but there's a character in it named Barron Trump who time travels. His dad is this robber baron who won from a populace platform.

He's having a life with that. A la Trump. Yes. A populace platform.

Okay, interesting. Indeed. When he won, it was upset everybody, and it was crazy. Wait, shit. Then what happened? So, Barron Trump's basically the idea is he's a time… Hey. Jared, help me out. Hold on. What was it?

He travels in these books. What are you talking about? That is pretty crazy that it's the same exact name. Okay, yes.

Should I put my alien presentation?

No, don't. I can't remember the main Barron Trump.

He's crying.

Okay. I was laughing the whole of what he said. Yeah. Not real.

Already. Yeah, already, I believe.

Why? Nikola Tesla was working on a time… He was working on a time travel machine. No? Yeah. When he died, his paper were seized by the government. Interesting.

Then, Beren Trump.

Didn't Donald's dad get Nikola Tesla's documents?

Yes, it was given to John… Oh, wait. It was given to John Trump. It was given to John Trump, his uncle.

John Trump. It was given to John Donald. John, wait. What if Donald was just a fan of Nikola Tesla and was like, I'm going to name him Aaron?

Wait, Ben.

Who'd you play? That's not logical.

I played not his kid. I was in the Donald Trump movie. Hell, yeah. And I played his brother, Robert. Trump. Who ended up being the head of Bethesda.

So you're a Trump?

I was in the movie.

Okay, you ready? Currently. Closest thing I've ever met. I thought my presentation. Ingersal Lockwood lived in New York City at the time of Tesla, blah, blah, blah. In the books, Barron Trump's mentor is a man named Dawn. Sorry, it's not his dad. It's a mentor. A wealthy businessman from Fifth Avenue. Barron and Dawn travel to Russia where they discover a portal to an underground world and have a series of time traveling journeys. The third book in the series is called The Last President, and it follows Dawn running for President. He has a mentor named Pence.

No.

That's crazy. I'm telling you, I think this is a fake article.

Dawn is not a career policy.

That's what I said.

This is a real Nikola Tesla. Sorry, this is a book by Nikola Tesla?

No, no. This is a book by Ingrosol Lockwood, who was like, Friends or homies.

What's the book named?

The book is called The Travel and Events of a Little Baring Travel.

What if you turn it around that, You guys are stupid. I got you.

I have seen, as I said, murmurs of this.

Indeed. Perhaps Tesla invented the time traveling machine, and then Beren Trump just burst through the space time continuum, and he's now making waves in 2025.

Except he's like, I placed him, and he's incontrolinable. He's just tall. He's just a guy. He does look like an alien.

I just made him I'm going to call.

Nobody's really paying attention to him the way I wanted them to.

Wouldn't they all be time travelers? They all would be. Hey, man.

Is this the checked out table?

What's going on? What the fuck is that? I was trying to read about the book. My bad. I was seeing if it was bullshit.

We've got all the data here.

I forgot. Respect women.

Brother, I'm sorry. I fucked it up. He was doing the Jamie in it.

I forgot. Any other questions?

No, you nailed it. Thank you so much.

All right. I'll be on my way.

Drive home safe. Thank you, Katie. It means a lot. Happy MLK day.

Thanks.

Happy MLK day to you, Katie.

Mlk day.

Happy Monday.

We're still doing that.

You said this off mic the other day. They'll cut that part. They'll cut it. You hope. Yeah, we'll cut it, man.

We still got the black square. We'll cut it.

We just posted it.

Everyone deleted it? I had a moment where I was like, one day I just had to, I forget why, but I was like, archiving a bunch of stuff, and I got to the black square and I was like, do I? When is it cool? Is it school now to archive it, and I did.

I tried to make a... When I did stand up once, I was like, I'm super friends with black people. I still got my black square up and zero laughs. It was just a dead room. Really?

That's got to find it. Super Super Friends with black people?

That was the-Super friends. The super friends. If you look out to your left, this is your captain speaking. You'll see Alyssa talking.

I deleted it because somebody made me feel bad. They just like, what are you going to do with a black square? You're not helping anybody.

Don't read my messages out loud.

You donated. You donated.

Yeah, I did.

I did donate it so much. That's why I'm in debt now.

I tried to really... I deleted it because I just felt like I felt bad doing what I did.

That the Whites weren't doing enough attention.

Because somebody said it wasn't good enough, and I was like, oh, crap.

I can never please everybody. You never win with the Internet.

If you could become any other race, what would you choose and why?

Oh, here we go.

This is what you guys do. Okay. Iis it going to come around to me?

I'll let Skyler go first.

I got a question.

He goes, white twice. We're like, Dude.

Is it my exact same body? I just switched races. Is that the question?

Like your everything, the same consciousness, everything.

Why are you making this worse?

No, I mean, if I got to make my body from scratch, I'd probably go black. Yeah.

If I'm switching my body right now, frame and all, I'd probably go... I'd probably go like Japanese.

Dude, he plays really well on the Lakers.

If I had to right now just switch colors, but it was my same frame, same weight, same dick, I'm going Japanese.

Because for that culture, you're saying you'd have a really big penis?

That feels racist. No, I was if I went black, I would be, I think I'd be on the house. That's right.

Dude, really? Schrapping him, asking the most difficult question. Wait, what did you say? Well, that's right.

I'll answer. I'll stand on this one.

Just giving such a hard time.

There's got to be some type of bit to do of super woke, but they're really diving into questions you can't answer without being super racist.

But then they're not easy on you at all.

Are you kidding me? And you're just there to promote your children's book or something?

I've got a good hypothetical that's racy like that.

Let me hear it.

Okay. Here we go. You see a burning building. It's a burning orphanage. There's four windows. You see a white boy, a Mexican boy, a black boy, and an Asian boy. You have time to save one. Who are you saving? I thought it goes to-Can I give my opinion?

Yeah, sure. It'd be between Asian and black because the stairwell is probably going to be in the middle. So it's the fastest to get to either one. Oh, you're just using like... We're just going safe. We're just all going safe. I'm going to use logic.

No, this is a race thing, dude.

You got to think about your social.

What's socially going to give me the most points? Well, here's the thing. I think this is not-Oh, I wasn't thinking that way at all.

Sometimes...

Oh, my God. But there's pushback sometimes about if a kid is raised in a different home, let's say it's a white kid in a black family or a black kid in a white family, they'll be like, Oh, they're not getting-They don't have any families. If I was to adopt a black kid, sometimes people say there's an argument, they're like, Oh, this kid is not getting enough cultural experience growing up in a white family. Rather than burn in a fire? I'm not saying that. I'm saying that could be a reason, part of the I don't know.

You don't adopt them.

You just save them and give them to another orphan. There's no adoption. Why? No, I would do Asian. Why?

Let's just mix it up a little bit. You leave the Mexican and the black kid to burn.

And the white kid. I flip four coins and not know what any of it means. I just keep flipping coins.

All right, no. You have to go in there. Stop flipping coins.

Which child-I'm trying to figure out which one I'm going to save.

I'm going to put I would film them all and put it up an Instagram poll.

Whatever one it does, I'm going to get it. Who should I save?

Then after holding the kid, you're like, You can't be mad. You can't vote it. This is what you guys wanted. I picked a number between one and 100.

You have to pick one, and all the kids were like, No, but you didn't write the number down. Then they all burn to death because they're arguing.

You just yell out, Who wants to be saved? The folks. Me, man.

Little did you know, the Hispanic one was mute. What would you do? I would put cushions outside on the sidewalk and say, jump. Sorry, there's a raging fire behind me that I can't hear over the crackling of the few items I have.

All right.

Anybody victim of divorce in here? Yeah. Everyone? Yes, sir.

Not you?

Yeah, but lesbian parents.

That is It's.

So you have lesbian parents? Yeah. That's sick. That's awesome. That's awesome.

That's awesome. Truly in April. Oh, that's awesome.

Dude, ask that in 04 to somebody. Not as cool.

Yeah, no. Now it's all the hype.

Now it's all the hype.

You're the second person I've ever met with moms.

Really? Really? Who was the first person?

My friend in high school named Abby.

She had moms. How'd they turn out? Yeah, were they good people? How'd Abby turn out? Turn out is good fight. Right. Surprisingly, my dad. Okay, this was what? I'm not going to say who, but an old person came up to me who, not long ago, very true story. He comes up to me, he goes, This is what we're talking about. Old people should brought up. It's crazy how just well-adjusted Jared turned out, given the circumstances.

I What do you mean well adjusted?

Anyway, that's all the information I have. That's so funny.

I'm an old person. That's so funny. Somebody you know for sure.

I don't know him anymore. I thought I did.

I have so many questions. I thought you were falling apart with an old man.

What do you got? What do you got? I feel like your brain works in a way that you'll come up with a new question.

Well, no, I'm just wondering theintricacies. Thank you, Ben.

That's why we have a podcast together.

Yeah, but I'll just ask that later. Okay. No, you can ask it now. Is it another trolley problem?

Is it another fucked up trolley problem?

Does it feel as much love as when you see a heterosexual couple? I think it's more love, if I'm being completely honest.

Because all of my friends' parents growing up... You can't speak on this. Go ahead.

Sorry, dude.

All of my friends' parents growing up, they seemed like they couldn't stand each other. And my parents, almost every time they say, I love you or something, they say, I love you and I like you.

Why is scissoring not called boxing? So I was going to ask you a scissor question.

I don't know, but that's a great... I love that, actually.

Very good.

Thank you. I also have another one. Hey, whenever your parents can't decide something, they probably still can't decide it because when they play rock, paper, scissors, they just all both throw scissors every time. Especially if it's Where are they going to go to eat?

What they're going to go to eat, where they're going to work and they're going to order, and they go out to eat.

It's also like, Hey, have fun.

Hope they have fun burning in hell. That last one got me. That last one got me because it It's true. Bad decision. My favorite thing about the internet is the people that don't understand that that is satire and are like, Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow. That's a main person.

You shouldn't see that. My hair bleached enough. I'm going to make it blue.

All right, go ahead. You got something to say racist.

I just wanted to be funny. I wanted him to keep... I want you to now finish telling your DMT story or tell it for about two minutes, and then we're going to talk for another hour. Wait. Did I mess that up? No, I don't know who did, but we missed it forever ago. We did move on.

And then I just thought, I want to be like you talking for 20 seconds about it, and then, again, we'll go home for 10 more minutes. All right, I'll do like 30 more seconds. Yeah, we got really hammered, and then we went downtown and we were on a patio, and my friend was like, Hit this. And I was like, No, I don't want to do DMT yet. I'm not ready. And then I sat there for a second and I was like, I've had a good life. I've had a good life. If this completely fucks everything up, it's all good. Yeah, that's all right. So I was like, You know what? Give me it. And he was like, All right, you have to hit it four times, specifically four times. And he was like, By the time you get to the fourth one, you're not going to want to. I was like, What the fuck is this drug? This sucks.

And I hit it once and I was like, That feels weird.

I'm starting to get a little wavy. And then I hit it again and I was like...

It was like a subwraffer was my vision.

It was like...

Oh, my God.

I hate that.

And then I hit it a third time and it was like... When I was like, I don't want to hit it.

You were right. And he was like, no, no, no. And light it up to my mouth. One more time. Four is the magic number. And then when I It blew out, so multiple things happened all at once. There was a guy that came out onto the patio and he was like, hey. And then my friend turned and went, Shh.

Oh, yeah, right.

And then shh.

Right when he said, shh, I started to go into it and it was like, his shh got reverberated in my brain.

It was like, Shh, shh, shh. Was it like the sunken place? That's exactly what I'm looking at. Yes, except you don't have a body.

You don't have a body anymore. You sound like Katie. I'm I'm surprised you can remember it all. I don't know. It's very weird. I'm not a spiritual, religious person at all. I just don't do anything. I'm like, meh, meh.

We're stupid humans.

I don't know shit about anything, whatever. Thank you. Yeah. You're on a patio? Yeah. When I went into it, it was like, yeah, I don't know. It's the most spiritual thing I've ever done. Like Joe Rogan Style. Nice. Yeah, it's very weird.

Okay, so the you have no body floating.

I leaned back like this in real life.

It's like, and that's all you would see. But what I felt, I was like, and ripped out of my body and then thrown down like a tunnel. It was just like my soul. There's no body, no feeling. Then time was no longer linear. That happened, yeah. Time was no longer. Yeah. You can't talk about DMT without sounding like a DMT guy.

Well, there was just no more time.

You wouldn't get it.

You sound like Katie. You're like, so, baron Trump was in a children's book. Then I saw Nikola Tesla, and I was like, oh, you don't The sex.

Then the orbs, the magnetic orbs that are showing up in New Jersey.

She's more happy about it. She believes it. I know. She believes all that stuff. I know. That's why we love her.

Yeah, That's sick.

We were about to shoot our podcast the other day, and we were having a bit of a discussion.

We needed to have an emotional talk, and it was obviously getting a little awkward for a second.

Then she just went like, I think both your moons are like, and we were just like, not right now. We're actually trying to... Maybe. Maybe. Maybe it is the moon. Maybe the moon's or maybe Ben's an asshole. Ryan needs to relax, actually.

Ben's ego is as big as a moon.

You're like, Oh, oh. Oh, here we go. My blood pressure is rising.

I'm thinking, Oh, my God. Okay.

You guys want any snacks? We're going to go get some snacks.

Yeah, she's just dipped. Yeah, she's a sweetheart. Are you falling over there, dude? You haven't taught. You just laughed The edibles are hitting. Oh, my God. I told him, and he's lucky.

He wanted to take a hole, and I said, Do not take a hole. I didn't know you actually took it. I thought they were joking.

No, I'm fucked right now.

Why your eyes look swollen?

Because I've been laughing. Wait, can you close your eyes for a second?

Yeah, they're swollen. It did look, I don't know, like a vagina.

It wasn't even like, Oh, can I make a vagina joke? It was just very similar to If you think you're going to forget how to breathe tonight when you sleep, you won't.

Don't worry.

Don't give advice like that. You're doing to have a great night of sleeping. Because every time I've got, I've almost texted them once in our chat and was like, goodbye, because I thought I was going to forget how to breathe when I was sleeping and I was like, I'm going to-Yeah, you'll notice.

And everyone's been on a really good temperament when it comes to passing conversation.

I just want to applaud everybody for that. Not everybody's in the best circumstances when it comes to mentally being intoxicated. But, boy, have you guys done well? Did you make that shirt or did you?

No, it's her merch line. What's it called? Why are you so mean to Skyler? What's her problem? I don't He's being so nice and normal. I like this. Yeah, ass hat. No. I'm stupid.

Don't call him an ass hat because that's just a bad thing. This is what's he stupid.

It was like the second I met you. Skyler, maybe don't instate him. Sorry. One of those guys Because as soon as I met him, I was like, Oh, man.

It's going to be one of those relationships.

Dude, you guys started this immediately, and then later I was like, So when did you meet him?

And you're like, Just now.

I was like, I just met him just now. I said one word to him.

I didn't like the cut of his jip from the moment. This guy was a fraud. Dissing each other, bro. Do we give off similar energy in the aspect that it's like, oh, I can fuck with this guy? You're both ribbers.

Yeah. Thank you. Definitely ribbers.

Thank you.

It's good for poor. Is it hard? You're a stream. I'm a river, dude. Whatever, man. You won.

Congrats.

What were you going to say?

Hey, man. Sorry. No, don't.

Don't. Sorry.

Don't tease It was thunder domed. I was going to make two jokes.

One of them wasn't a joke, one was a moral statement.

I was going to make one, and I paused it because it wasn't going to be funny.

I was going to say, How are the Latterday Saints doing this year? And I didn't say that one out loud. That's pretty good. No, and I didn't... That was Lynch. But the other one was, if someone ribs you, does it take you a while to get mad? He's from Utah. To actually get mad? No. I do this really like...

Ben can probably attest to this.

I do this really like a toxic thing where it'll start off as a bit, and then if it keeps going, I can sometimes get really sensitive, and then suddenly, I'm actually mad.

And then you're just like, Oh. And you're going, Yeah, for sure. You're beautiful. Any triggers that we should watch out for? No, I'm just learning to know myself. Just don't talk to him when he hasn't eaten or something. I'm just a baby. Just a big baby. Just make sure you burp him and he's good to go.

Compliment me every... Just compliment him and thank him and stuff. Can't sleep on his stomach.

Just apologize every once in a while to him about whatever. Just say, generally, sorry. It's great. It's fine.

It's like a reset.

Do you have a day of the week or is it just when you feel it?

It's just whatever. Whenever I'm like, Hey, man, we should talk about the podcast. And he goes, Yeah.

And then I go, I'm sorry. Whatever. He's like, It's okay, man. I could tell you didn't I didn't mean it. And I could tell you didn't mean it.

It was in my head about it. Alyssa, what are we talking about?

No, ask her to explain the Latterday Saints joke. No, because that's not fair. He didn't hear what I said, and I didn't get it.

And I said, What's that under my breath. I know you live in U from Utah. I know you from Utah. I am from Utah.

But I thought your hat was... You put the U in Utah.

I recently have confirmed that your hat is St. Louis. No, it's Salt Lake. Yeah, Salt Lake. Salt Lake. You lied to me. I said, It's Saint. Or he got it wrong. Then I saw it.

I didn't see the cursive on the S, and I said, Wait, it might not be.

I didn't know why-She didn't realize how the Latterday Saints meant. She thought the LS actually stood for Latterday Saints because he-I didn't know you were from Utah, and I didn't know how much I had layered that joke.

Oh, really? It's a Salt Lake. That's why I thought she made those. I thought it was St. Louis as well. That's why when you said it, I was like, That was actually good.

Yeah, I'm just no. Wait, who are the-The Saint St. Louis, the Cardinals.

Cardinals. It's a baseball team.

But why would you say Latterday Saints then?

Because you have an L and an S.

It looks like it could be LS instead of SL.

Pretty good.

Now we're all coming full circle on the joke.

We should just cut this part.

You're not mad right now, right? Now I'm mad. All right.

Sorry. Everyone, thank you.

It has so many layers.

I'm realizing. Who else in the room entirely understood all of the layers in the joke from the beginning?

I did. Not even the guy that made it. Well, it was just two, wasn't it? Well, yeah, he didn't know, and I thought because he saw Salt Lake and he was like, How are the Latterday Saints going?

And I was like, Okay. Sorry. No, I actually didn't notice the LS part. Okay.

Well. We can cut this part. No, let's break this down. This should just be titled 20 Minutes of Figuring Out One Joke.

That I didn't want to make because I realized how bad it was.

Because you didn't realize that it was better than it actually thought it was.

There's just somebody in a car right now like, The fuck am I doing with my life?

You know what? That's it.

You're like, I can't even see the hat. I don't know. I don't even know what they're talking about.

Back to music. I should have picked music. I knew I should have picked music. When I got in the car, I was like, I got a 30-minute drive.

I was like, I don't want to get over stimulated by music, so I'll listen to a nice podcast.

I won't shut up. Half a podcast Am I doing 30 minutes of music?

But now we even got to make the cover art his hat, so at least it shows up.

Right. There we go.

This is why people are like...

You'll understand.

Now I got to look at my phone.

Oh, shit.

I'm so You just killed someone.

I just got a car crash.

That's a good joke.

I knew he was going to say that.

Oh my God.

Too soon. He's fine. No, he turned it into a... Look at him.

He's fine.

Oh my God, don't say that.

Am I right? What about how he feels?

What if he doesn't feel fine? He's right. You're right. Did it shake you up?

Not much. It's a car week podcast.

It'll be all right.

It was a lot.

Zack.

It's just like when you lose your $100,000 car. Zack. No one feels bad for that part. I'm lying. It's a really expensive car that made me look a lot better than most people.

Why would I want to lose something like that?

In the accident, it acted as a brick wall to the person. We got a weeble over here. Wait, what's he doing? I just feel for you.

What is that? Is that a Scout?

That's a cop Scout.

My hand over heart.

I don't know what to say.

Hold on, Jared.

This is the brownies. Hold on, Jared.

Now, where are you at? I don't know. Dude, I think I'm the only one that is present in this room because I understood all of the layers of the joke from the jump.

Are you still in the Latterday Saints thing? Hold on.

No, I heard, I hear everyone.

You're really analyzing. You're really locked in. I can hear everybody. I can hear all the little quips and the jokes and stuff. And we're not getting it. And You guys, there's so much you're missing.

We're saying the jokes.

You guys, you got to listen to this podcast. I'm listening to...

He's like, we're the ones doing it. We hear it. We're saying it. Guys, you guys are listening to these guys.

No, I think I get what he's saying.

He's saying we're all trying to say something.

I've noticed that, too. While Ryan and I are doing our podcast, I'll watch back on an episode we've done, and I'll be not getting a bit that he's clearly setting me up for.

I'm watching myself going, What are you doing? He obviously means this. You could see Ryan going, No, I'm this guy. I'm like, Oh, you're a police officer. He's like, No, I'm your son. It's literally five minutes of Ryan, and then eventually, Ryan's just like, Anyway, changes the subject. I'm just like, How did I not notice that? That's probably what you're talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, dude. What was that? What did you just say, man?

I forgot he heard every quip, man.

He just said I forgot. He was everything, man.

That's my child's best friend, and I'm thinking twice.

Really?

You guys have known each other forever? Since we were nine years old.

Really? Shared so many memories. That's awesome.

He holds the other half of a lot of my laughs.

That's so sweet. Thank you. That's so cute. That's why I was doing it.

I was showing love and honor for my brother. That's really cool. Thank you. That's awesome.

I always love when people are long-time friends. That's really impressive. You were just saying on the drive over here that you...

That you hated long-time friends.

You were just like, I don't talk to any of them. We don't have any similarities anymore.

That's why I'm I'm impressed. That's what I mean because I wish I had that with you.

You know what I mean?

Sorry.

We just didn't grow up, I don't think. That's a private conversation. I think we dance for a long time together, and at some points, we were on the opposite side of the dance floor. One of us was getting punch. But our favorite song-You guys are dancers? Our favorite song came back on and we found each other again.

I think it was a metaphor. Oh, sorry.

Which is without using like or as.

I see, right. Yeah, English minor.

A simile Frank.

Wait, is that real?

I have an English Minor here. Lock in his basement. He's got a huge vocabulary. Sometimes Ben uses words that you're just like, Come on, man. I don't know.

To be cool.

I don't know. If you want to throw any out, we can all guess.

I don't really think I do have a large vocabulary. What's your favorite word? What's funny is when I go in, this might sound pretentious, but when I go into a character, I start using words that they would use that I would never otherwise use. Just naturally. You're so talented. You're not yourself. You I come them. That's not what I...

I prefaced it, trying not to be pretentive. But yeah, that's.

No, but sometimes in normal speak, normal conversation, I swear to God, you'll...

You guys want to do characters?

What the fuck are you doing?

Like, oh, character guy, dude.

You guys want to do some characters with us? Yeah, dude, give us a scene.

You could be like a comedian mustache trying to make it in the...

That's him, though. That's my character.

It's got to be somebody else. Why does he keep... Okay. It seems This is him coming through for his brother.

Okay.

I've known him since I was nine. This has been building up all the two.

No, it's all good.

Hey, guys. Okay. Everybody Flags, bro.

Put the hair in the hat. Put the hair in the hat. That's what it's for.

Come on.

Ryan, hey. No, what?

Flags, relax, man. A third plane is at the towers? Oh, my God. 12 years later, 20 years later. Now we're having fun. Really dwindling down.

Yeah, the hat is... Because I don't like if I take it off.

I don't know. What's your excuse?

I don't like.

I like the way it looks. That's fair. What are some things that you like? No, you're going to poop on it. No.

You're going to poop on it.

No, I won't. I'm open book. Do not poop on it.

We got to go now, Ryan.

I know that we always don't have each other's backs, but this time, I got you back.

I got you back. Especially against these two.

Do not poop on this. We're like the allies. You guys are axes. We're not going to poop on this. No, we're the allies.

You're the axes. You have $100,000 car.

You're not anymore. Except they can fire us if they wanted. Go, Ryan. Shit. Go, Ryan.

Just kidding. I think the hair outside the hat looks good. I think it looks good.

I have a question. When did you guys decide that you wanted to branch out and make more podcasts? Is that something you're talking about?

I guess this is more of a series. Produce. When I first got here, we were living in the squalar that we were, and I noticed that a lot of people around me had an extra leg up, where they had people in the industry or they had a ton of money.

I was always like, okay, if I ever am able to do anything with my life, I found so many talented people that never got that, not a break, but I don't know how to exactly frame it. I'm not trying to seem like I'm trying some savior or something. But I just knew there's very talented people that didn't have a spotlight on them. So eventually, I was like, it'd be wonderful to work with talented people. And if you got invested Just reinvesting what you get instead of just being like, I'm just going to ball out. You're like, I'm going to reinvest.

All my brand deals pay them. Yeah, essentially. That's sick. That's cool. Well, I think we owe you a... Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you guys for producing our own. There's no better way to derail something than being nice.

You know what I mean? It's like, oh, hell. Dude, I'm the most... I can be very annoyingly earnest, and this was one of those moments.

Thank you guys. That's a Canadian in you. Thank you. Oh, he's... Thank you guys. Except Skyler, you did nothing.

You did nothing. Just in case, sorry. You know we're about to come out with merch that says, Protect our Northern borders?

Oh, please.

You were just the lucky friend. Wait, like me? You're the lucky friend of Ye.

Yeah, don't. Ryan, fucking shut up, dude. Fucking Ye has been carrying you all week.

Because I'm the lucky friend to you.

Ye has been carrying you all week. No, man. You're done. Ryan... You were just the lucky friend. That is so rude, dude.

We're going to end it on that. We're going to end it on that.

Are we that close to the end?

That's where we're going to end it.

Wait, I don't want to stop.

This is the beginning of a drunk episode, and we get really drunk towards the end, so you're only going to be able to see half of this.

The really illiterate stuff that we're not allowed to probably put on public cinema like you're watching is going to be on our Patreon, seven day free trial. Link in the description. We're not going to do it. We're going to actually have to blur what you just did. That's work for Will. We also just got a cell phone from Verizon. You know how normal people are texting at this number, but it's like an AI bot. We bought a real phone. So if you join the Patreon, you'll see in the tiers, you could actually text us and we respond. Essentially, I'm pitching. So you guys are going to spend money on this, and then we're going to use it to continue to live our lavish lives. To fund their show. Yeah, to fund. If you guys want it, well, we're going to see. If they don't like the show, then they won't buy it.

If they know that's going to fund. Anyway, we'll see you guys over on Patreon. Continue. They're funny guys.

Wait. If they don't like it. Okay, well, that's a version of a plug. That's fine. I'll take it. Also, these guys have got a new podcast called Stop the Bit. Link in the description. If you're from this, go leave a comment, or else I'm going to verbally assault someone here. You don't know who that's going to be.

Plug. Wherever you get your podcast.

Bye, guys.