Transcript of #638 - Kevin James New

Today's guest is a comedian and an actor. You'll know him from everywhere, from Grownups, King of Queens, Chuck and Larry, Paul Blart. His new movie is out that's right now in theaters. It's called Solo Mio. It's great. If you want to go check it out. But right now, let's get to know Mr. Kevin James. That's my coffee cup right there. Con Dios, todos es posible.

Posible. It is, yeah. What is the middle word?

Todo es.

Todo es. Todo es. Everything is. Everything is? That's cool.

With God, everything is possible. What does yours say?

Mine's pretty... I just have no answers. That's where it comes down.

Yours is one of those Mad Lib mugs.

Each day is something different.

That's not Italian, but that almost sounds a little bit Italian like your movie.

It does. It is very close. Dio.

Dio? Rodney James Dio, Lock Up The Wolves, you mean?

Yes, but much different. Lock Up The Wolf.

Have you ever listened to that? No.

I remember him. He was crazy, right?

I'm sure he was yelling, Lock up the Wolves.

Yeah, that's true. You cannot be crazy and yell, Lock up the Wolves.

God, that album. My brother used to beat me to his music.

It makes sense.

You remember your first concert ever or no?

Yeah, it was Kiss. I saw Kiss, and it was right after, I think, maybe after Kiss Alive. It was after that or destroy. One of them early, early albums, and I with my buddy, and I remember my buddy broke his arm, and he wasn't going to be able to go, but we convinced him to go. He was in a cast, so I was there with my mother and his mother, and he was just rocking his cast the whole night to kiss. It was fun. God, that's good. It was a good one.

There was nothing like that time when you were going to a freaking concert. Oh, yeah. When you were just a kid. If the air hit you and it was dope in it, it just hit you.

Everything was weird.

Everything was crazy.

What was your first concert?

I went to, oh, Marilyn Manson. They had a guy in our town, and he took us over there, me and the other young kid, dropped us off.

You were there with his-With me, my buddy.

This guy dropped us off, this religious guy or whatever.

He dropped you off, religious? Yeah. He had a car. Oh, religion.

He had a car. I don't know. Last Baptist, I think. I have no I had no idea what he was.

I don't want to know, man. He's dropping you off at Maryland Manson.

Nothing decent. Oh, dude.

Did he take off fast? Was he like, you go?

Yeah, he drove in a convertible.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, he dropped us off. He said he could get us tickets there. We'd heard a couple of their songs, and we were into them. We were underage when we got in. But it was like being in a concert when you were a kid and everything was going on. If you were young, it was wild because you were free in this place that was caged. There was music. Sometimes it was like pot in the air. It was just a lot. People were like, strolling around.

A lot of new stimulus, right? A lot of weird stuff that you're a little bit scared, right?

Yeah, you're a little bit scared, but you're excited. Then if somebody passes you something or your buddy brought something or whatever, then you getting lifted. And now, dude, one time we ate something. I don't know what we had. We caught a whiff of something, and we might have brought it with us and lit it up. But whatever it was, it got into us. Not me. And dude, I couldn't see anymore. And I was like, oh, shit. But I still had to pee. Okay. That's one thing I noticed. If you can't see, you still have to...

Yeah, one doesn't stop the other. Yeah. I don't know. I never got lifted. But if I couldn't see and I had to pee, how did you do it? Did you just walk out with a friend? I remember the direction. Where you were.

I remember the direction to the back of the venue, and I put my hands like this, right? Oh, wow. And I was going back, and I remember feeling like a badge, and I was feeling like a cop.

I'm sure he liked that.

Oh, dude, I'm so glad he didn't... He recognized it. I wasn't doing well.

Yeah. He saw you in a bad way, and he helped you.

I went into the bathroom. I thought I was a racoon. Whatever, dude. That was a long night. Anyway, Kevin James, good to see you, man. Good to see you.

Yeah. Nice to be here. Thank you very much.

Thanks for coming, man. I appreciate it. Did you guys go? We saw each other last night at your... You showed me and Nate Bargazzi and some other friends here in Nashville, your Yeah, we went out to dinner.

We just hung out, had a good night. Where'd you all go? Oh, gosh. What was the name of that place? It was Ganon's. Ganon? Ganon's. In Nashville.

Is it on a lake?

I don't think it was on a lake. I mean, we didn't take a boat to get there, right? It was-Towns nice. Yeah, it was cool. It was a cool place. It was a cool place. Yeah, it was nice. They gave us a little room, and we just had fun. It was prime rib. It was everything, man. It was good.

Did it have that white sauce with it?

It did.

What is that?

It's like a tartar, but it's not. It's got a W. What is it? Or a horseradish. Horseradish, not a W. Where's the W coming from? But it's white. That's where it comes from. It's W is white, and it's horseradish. Horseradish, and they give you the chunks of horseradish, which is like, that's the nucleus of it. That's the burny-I've never seen that. What are you talking about?

Now, bring up a natural horseradish in its natural habitat or whatever.

Yes. Then they have a white horseradish sauce that blends it. See, that's the stuff.

Yeah, God, that's good.

Yeah. You spread that over your prime rib.

I love that. That thing, I never know what it is, but they have it, and I love it. What's that?

That right there. Horseredish. Yeah.

So you've had it? Oh, yeah, but I just forgot. Oh, what it is. But I know you only see it with prime rib.

No, you see it with shrimp cocktail, too. Oh, that's the same? Yes, it comes out the same way. They give you the chunks of the thing.

Do you do shrimp cocktail? Yeah, I do shrimp cocktails all the time when the shrimp are hanging out showing their legs or whatever off the edge of the thing.

Yeah, you split them, you pop them, and you dip them in the thing.

Dude, I had no idea that was the same thing.

That's the wasabi version of whatever it is for this stuff. It's like wasabi. It's like a spicy hit that you do. It's really to get you to forget the fact that you're eating fish.

Yeah, I guess because some of it doesn't taste great or whatever. Yes. Horseradish It is a perennial plant of the family Brasicaecia.

It's not a vegetable.

It is a root vegetable cultivated and used worldwide as a spice and as a condiment. Yeah, dude, I like that, man. I like it when I just really... But I only see it with prime rib, and I guess to me, that always looked more like a milkier sauce. Something different.

Well, there's both. There's little chunks when you see that, and then they give you... It's like a Cool Whip, like a The Mayonnaise style that blends with that. You put them both together. Oh, I haven't done that. It gives you... Yeah, it's a good cover.

I'm missing. Maybe I'm not looking around when I see that. But I love that. You get to talk to the person, they cut it.

Yes, it's a lot of fun. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of fun. It was a good night, man. We have fun. We missed you, and thanks for coming.

Yeah, dude. It was great to come over there and see the film and just see the... Had you seen it a bunch already?

I've seen it a few times, yeah.

I Did you help edit it?

Oh, gosh, yeah. I did everything, helping them all on every step of the way. We've been babying this thing for a while now, so I'll keep seeing it. I'm going to see it again. It's basically just your baby. You work it and you just try to bring it to everybody and you want it to be right. I don't want everybody like you. I want people to see it, to see what they think, what they can change. Oh, yeah.

But now we're here. We felt the magic of it yesterday, man. It felt good. It was a love. I don't want to give anything away. I mean, it's a love story. It's got some sweet moments that were surprises, I thought. Good. It definitely made me think like, dang, I got to get... You got to get in a love, man. That's what it makes you feel hopeful that people are getting in a love out there in Italy. Yes.

Honestly, that's never too late. I I found my wife later in life, too. It's one of those things where it's possible for all. When they get older, they start gripping the bat too tight, getting worried that I'm not with anybody. So they don't know whether to make that decision jump or I'm just going to be alone. I think when you loosen up and relax and just give yourself up to give it a shot, you do better.

Did you feel that ever?

Oh, yeah, I was definitely. I got married at I think, yeah. I had my first kid at 40.

Do you still have your wife?

Yeah. I met her last night. Yeah, she was there. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Good. I kept her. I hope that was her. Otherwise, she wouldn't be happy hearing about this.

No, that's her.

Yeah, it looked like- She's 21 and change now.

21 years. Yeah, it's great. Four kids. It's fun.

Is your wife from another country or parents might be?

She's Filipino and a little bit Alaskan Indian.

Dude, I love Filipinos.

Yeah. You do?

Dude, are you kidding me? How could you not?

Right?

Dude, they're the smiling people.

Yes. Very happy people. Very fun people. And they make Lumpia.

And they make what? Lumpia. Oh, I've never even heard of it.

Can you look up Lumpia? Lumpia is just-What is it?

Like a dip or something?

It's like an egg roll from heaven. And you put it in the dip. And it's nothing like the horseradish one. It's a beautiful, sweety. It could be a little spicy if you want, but it's It's a fun one. It's a good... It wowed me.

Yeah, I would mule one of those in my ass. I think about those things look good, brother. I'll tell you that. But you brought one of those in a prison, you could sell it for a lot.

I don't know where it was going in. A lot went out of my ass. But yeah. Oh, dude.

Sorry. God, no. Those look that good.

Yeah, they're very good.

There's not a lot of food you put in your... You know what I'm saying? Because that's a total reverse route. That's like when you see somebody's driving up the interstate the wrong way, you're like, What are they How did you get on this road?

Yeah, it's real good.

God, that's nice. Yeah, see, I think if somebody tricked me enough with some fancy little Oriental baklava like that.

Are you really? Oh, really?

They could get me to love them more. You know what I'm saying? If somebody had a recipe of something that you just loved, I would give in more. But yeah, Filipinos, dude, I wish we were all Filipino.

Yeah, sure.

Because I think it would be great. It would be great. Name 60 bad Filipinos.

I can't name one. I don't know any. I really don't. I can't name one.

Are your kids a little bit Filipino, too?

They have to be, I hope.

That's so good.

Yeah, they're fun.

Oh, I can't even imagine. Fun kids.

You should see them. You like them.

Oh, yeah. I'd love to see them sometime. But I would love to have a semi-Asian or off-Asian. I don't know exactly what the terms of a Filipino, but I would love to have a child like that.

It's a cute mix. It's a fun...

Just great people. They're so good. They seem like such good-Good people. Yeah, that's beautiful, dude. I know that you grew up over in New York. Oh, dude, I forgot to even tell you this. When I first saw your movie, Solamio, it's called. Yes. I thought it was Salamio. I thought it was a-Oh, that would be an old...

Yes.

Like a Marvel character you were doing.

By the way, I could do that one next. That is not... Solamio is a-That's what I thought.

I was like, What is he doing?

What am I not doing? Salamio. How did you guys not think of Salamio?

I just thought it was like, Oh, this is his superhero type of guy.

But did you think it was just one word and it was an Italian word, or did you think it was the meat?

I thought it was like the master... Like Salamio. Yeah, like Salamio shows up and rescues the Italian parade or something. Something happened at the Italian parade.

But is the Italian meat Is he involved? No, that's just his name. No, that's just his name. Okay. Does he have a cape?

Yeah, he may have a cape. Yes, he has a cape, maybe a fine pochette or whatever.

Salamio is insane.

Anyway, I thought that behind my glasses on when I saw it. So I was like, Salamio, that's crazy. I was like, But it's awesome. And it was like, I could see it being super exciting.

You know I'm regretting every choice we made now that we did not go with Salamio. It really is hitting me. Salamio is, I don't know. I hope you did it.

From the land of Mortadella.

Yeah,yes.

Yes. Your backstory could have been sick. But when I got there and I saw the image and it was like, Oh, Solomil. Yes. And it was good. Yeah. It was cool, man. It did make me think about love. It made me think about that stuff. Yeah, just the choices that we make. I think I've watched a couple of movies recently that got me in a certain feet.

So you're single now? Yeah. Okay. Are you looking or you're just like, I'm- Yeah, I'm looking.

I got to get married at some point.

Right. You want kids?

Yeah, I think I want to have some children. I love it. Yeah. Did you always want to have them, you think? I did.

You did? Yeah, I did. I always wanted kids. Again, I was getting worried. I was 39. It was later for me and then four. But you have so much time. You're great. You can go as long as you can, and then you adopt or do whatever. It's amazing.

Yeah, some of the adopt, there's a lot of returns over there. You know what I'm saying? I'm not... I have no judgment, and some of those are rushing, but people know it. It's on a chart. But yeah, dude, I do think I know I would like to. I think it's just making sure I can get into that place.

Where are you? Go ahead.

Of myself and knowing, okay, I can do this, and I have to really fine-tune my behaviors and what I need to be doing and how I put myself and take care of myself and everything. It's like, because this is going to be a thing.

You want to stay in it, right? Are you putting yourself out there, though, in the right place to see these people, to meet these people? Because now, because you're so famous now, it's a different take. You got to be careful, right?

I guess. I still probably date the same types of gals as when I wasn't popular, I think. I don't know if that changes, but I wouldn't date somebody. I think I would know if somebody was like...

I hope so. You definitely would.

After me for my podcast outtakes or whatever. But yeah, I thought it was a great movie. It was really sweet. It had some good surprises. I'm glad that I left feeling glad that I went and I saw it. That's good. It made me think about some things. That's when I noticed something's nice for me is if I leave and it makes me think about myself in certain situations or something.

Yeah, and hopefully uplifting, if you know what I'm saying? If it feels that there's a possibility out there. Oh, dude.

The singing, the part when you guys were singing, dude, I thought it was going to turn into one of those at the Cristiendo. I thought at the Cristiendo, it was going to be like, there was going to be one of those 4K theaters or whatever, like the 4D or whatever. It was just going to be a huge thing of pasta sauce. It was going to fucking hit us all in the back of the head. That's what I thought, dude. If that would have happened, bro.

Dude, that in Salamia? What's his name?

Salamio.

Salamio. Salamio. Okay, so it's Salamio.

That's what I thought.

Oh, dude.

That's a guy?

How do we not do Salamio?

Bro, I'll tell you this.

I want the leg muscles.

Oh, you got those.

No, I don't, man. I'm losing them. When you get older, you start losing the leg muscles. Abs, I got. Obviously, you know I have the abs and the biceps and all that stuff, but the leg muscles. That's a lot of leg. It is. Spotty fat. He's got a lot of clogged arteries. I like it, though, man. I'm in with this guy.

I think he's His only thing he does is just go to the doctor to get his levels checked.

Just panels of blood.

Dude, those aren't even muscles. That's just a chunk of gout.

Yes, that's all gout and cholesterol. I like it.

But no, dude, it was cool. So thank you so much for inviting me, man. It's enjoyable. It's a nice movie. You could take your lady. You could take your lady, go with your family, go with almost anybody, really. It was sweet. Good. It was sweet and good, man. You grew up in Mineola?

I was born in Mineola. I grew up out. I bounced around Long Island for a little bit in New Hyde Park. But you don't know this stuff.

We just had a fireman on. This is how I know this. We just had a fireman on. And he mentioned that you were from that area because I said, well, Kevin James might be coming on. He's like, oh, he's from New Hyde Park. And we had this guy, Tony Bonfiglio. There he is right there. He was a firefighter during 9/11. He did 22 years on Ladder 34, which was Washington Heights. And he just had the best stories about growing up in New Park and where he went to interview to be the fireman, and him and his buddy just screwing around in the area and just going to different music clubs and listening to cover bands and stuff like that.

I love it.

But he's from Neola. It was great.

Yeah, a lot of good people from there, really. Yeah, it's a really cool experience.

It feels like that.

It is. It was fun growing up, man, which for me helped in stand up and helped in everything. I just had a good, fun childhood. It was really cool. Funny people.

Was your brother funny or something? You got a sister, something that's funny?

My brother was funny first. We're all funny. It's all the dinner table stuff and putting on little shows when the relatives come over, that type of stuff. Then eventually, I was playing football in college, and I realized the dream. When you're not starting in Division 3-Were you at Oniana? No, I was at Courtland, and I never finished. I was drinking a lot. We were partying up there. It was crazy. It was a crazy-Yeah, I've been up there.

That's By Syracuse and all that stuff.

But Portland, it's in Ithaca, isn't it? No, it's near Ithaca. Oh, bad. Oh, yeah, there I am. That was me playing football. I think that's high school. But yes, that was When I played. Then once I realized there was a guy so much better than me, I go, I'm not going to do this anymore. What do I do?

Did you have a nickname on a team or not?

I think it was the Hydrant. I don't think it was because of what you think. I think it was just a different I'm not sure the reason. The Hydrant, huh? Yeah, because I was low. I was low to the ground, and I wet myself a lot. Yeah. It was just a weird thing. But no, once I realized that wasn't going on anyway. I never finished Courtland, too. I got out of college.

Did they give you an honorary thing like that in a mail or something?

They would give it to me now, but I don't want to go back now.

I don't want to-I'll get you a degree, man.

Really? Should I go back?

I'm not going to tell you not to get you education.

Yeah, maybe I should, right? No, I shouldn't. For what? What am I going to use it for?

I don't know. I got urban planning. That's mine.

Did you finish college?

Yeah, I finished college. It took me almost 11 years.

Where'd you go?

I went offline. Eleven years for college? I went offline also. Oh, you did? Yeah, I went to a lot of schools. I went to Arizona. Where else did I go? I went to Santa Monica College. I went to University of New Orleans.

Why did you not finish at one?

Lsu College, Charleston. I don't know why. I started doing comedy, and I would hit the road, and I'd be like, and then I'd have to pick back up and do a semester. It was just piecemeal.

Did you get into it through improv or just right into stand-up?

Just got into stand-up. I was just like, I think I... Mark Gross, I think, was the first comedian maybe I ever saw. Bring him up. Bring up a picture.

What year did you start?

I started in 2005.

Oh, my goodness. That is so crazy.

I saw this guy perform, and I'd seen... Chris Rock is my favorite I was a comedian growing up. I'd seen like... I'd seen comedy, but I'd never seen it live. We went to college where it was like, at LSU, they'd call you and be like, You got 30 free tickets tonight. You're like, What? Because there's paper in the room, but you'd be so excited.

Yeah, you just to get a gift. Yes. So you go.

I went and I saw him and I was like-It changed you. Yes. I was like, Oh, this can really be like a thing?

That you wanted to do right away or you thought-I don't think I knew I wanted to do it, but I just...

I'd like to It was even funny. And then I was like, Oh, this is a real path. I just never connected the dots. I need dot to dot to dot. I need dots between the dots to connect them. That made me start to, I think, have the bug. And then I got to LA, and then I started just going up.

Dude, I was in Vegas when I saw you and heard about you. You know how I heard about you or saw you? Your face was the whole side of the A hotel. Oh, yeah. You remember? Did you see that? Yeah, I did. That was badass. I was like, who's this? I was like, my goodness. I know. I checked you out, dude, and that was awesome. That's really cool, man.

That was cool. That's crazy. That's it. Just to think that you saw that.

Stone. That's cool. I was like, whoa, I don't get that. I never got that. That was big, man. No, I'm serious.

That was cool. Some of that stuff is pretty cool. It's impossible to live up to that hype.

That is, but it's still, man, that's cool.

Stuff like that's It's interesting sometimes, I guess.

Yeah, there it is. See, it is. Look at that, man. That's exactly what I saw. I was like, whoa, this guy looks like Salomio. You look at that look, right? That's a hero.

I'm looking for the shooter from that shooting they had there a few years ago.

That's right. That was rough.

Yeah, that was a surprise. Anyway, I can really ruin that compliment you were giving me. But thank you.

No, it's true. I remember seeing that being there, Vegas. I was like, well, it's an instant bit of like, who's this guy? A little bit of fear. I'm always like, Oh, my gosh, this new guy. I'm trying to fill this room. I hope I do well tonight. And this guy's got the side of a building. I'm like, Good for him.

Because we needed that much advertisement.. We started small. We started on thimbles.

I love it. Just handing them out on guitar pics.

Yeah, that's a great idea. This episode is brought to you by Pepsi, and we've actually got their Super Bowl commercial That premiered last night. Let's take a look at it right here. Oh, blind taste test. My whole life's a blind taste test. This bears in therapy or bear-upy, I think they call it. I don't even know. Whatever this is about, I'm in. Cheap furniture. Tell me about your mother. Oh, yeah. Mother longing. Is this me? Staring at women through windows, yeah.

Oh, that's sweet. That's nice.

Let's go, Bear, with your lady at a concert. That's a pretty cold play right there. Me and this bear are really similar. Drinking games, therapy, cheap furniture, and longing for a woman through a pane of glass, peeping Tommy, we call it. But I guess in the animal kingdom, it's more of like an acceptable pastime. All right, moving on. But actually staying right here. Some of my friends bug me that I choose Pepsi over Coke, but there's actually been blind taste tests that prove that Pepsi zero sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. There's even a name for it. It's called the Pepsi Paradox. It's the idea that once bias and labels disappear, cola drinkers prefer the taste of Pepsi Zero Sugar. Yep. Pepsi first showed this 50 years ago with their iconic Pepsi challenge, when they had people try Coke and Pepsi without the labels, and the results were clear. When you take labels out of the equation and you just focus on taste, people choose Pepsi. I mean, that's what the Super Bowl commercial was showing. There's a blindfolded, cola-loving polar bear, and he chooses Pepsi, zero sugar. Dude, my freaking blind cousin chooses He just e-mailed me.

How can he e-mail? Maybe he could, Pepsi for a second. Hey, quiet down. Bad joke. It's the question that Pepsi is putting out there. Is your cola choice actually about taste? Because they redid the Pepsi challenge in 2025. And guess what? 66% of people chose Pepsi Zero Sugar over Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. It just makes you think, if nobody told you what you were supposed to like, what would you actually choose? The public has spoken, and Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. If you're curious, go try Pepsi Zero Sugar. Let your taste decide. When your comedy first started, was it just something you wanted to do? Did you know it? I know it's such an old question, but you and I don't really know each other.

I didn't know what I wanted to do. When I got out of college, I left college, I didn't finish. I went home for the summer, and my brother started doing improv. I was bouncing at the time, and I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I didn't want to do this. I just wanted to try something. I always follow him into other things. He'd be like, You're coming into whatever it is. I ended up doing a small community theater play. Then I started doing an improv group with him and their buddies, and I fell in love with it. Then it just progressed into I did my first standup. First night was in 1989, July 26th, 1989. That's how long I've been doing it. Fuck, yeah, boy. No, I loved it. I crushed the first night I ever did it, which I'm thankful for. Because the second night, I ate it so bad with the same material. If I would have ate it first, I think I never would have done it again. I'm thankful that I did okay. No, I love it, man. I love it.

Was your Are there something other weird about it that you came in and liked his thing?

No, you know what? I got to say, he was really cool about it. He would tell me, You want to do this? Okay, if you want to do this, come and do it. I would start to do it. Back then, we would buy these calendars completely empty, and I was working at Granger, and it was my last day job. I was like, I wanted to get it. Granger, the equipment? Yes, that's what I did. I was in the back. It was hot as can be, and I had to fill orders, and I hated everything about it because it was miserable. I was just trying to work my way up to the air conditioning.

He has a hell of ice in there, too.

There's everything in there. I'm just driving a forklift and I'm working hard and I'm trying to fill my calendar with these stand-up dates. It would just be once a week or whatever it is. Then my brother called me one night and he goes, What are you doing tonight? I go, I'm staying home. He's like, what? Because you have to sign up for open mic night.

Yeah, you got to sign up sometimes in advance or that thing. You got to get there early.

He's like, Why aren't you out of the club tonight? I go, I didn't get a spot. He's like, That doesn't matter. So what? Why aren't you going out to Can something happen? Go look. Somebody falls out or you meet somebody or talk to somebody. I'm like, All right. I went that night and I met somebody and I became my first agent. He was right, man. He helped me a lot in that. He was cool with helping me out.

He was the funny one, you said?

Yes, he was. I mean, we're all funny. The whole family was funny. He was the first one to start it to get going that direction.

It's interesting how that happens. I was like, Yeah, my brother was a funny guy. I think that's why I wanted to be funny. You wanted to be like that. Yeah. I think you're just trying to like-Did your brother do stand-up? No, he was just probably just desperate for attention like me, but he was a funny guy.

There are a lot of funny guys in school that were like-He didn't get a stand-up.

Oh, dude.

That would be, I'm like, the best. That would be the best.

I'm so glad you didn't do it. Oh, dude, my friend Scott was the funniest kid to me. I'm like, I am... Some of the people are like, Theo, you're funny. I'm like, dude, there's so many people who just never really just went and did it.

Because honestly, being funny with your and making that leap to doing it in front of people and developing, it is a different thing, though. It's like you've got to create it and get used to. It's a different animal, right? Because I know my buddies are so funny. I got a buddy who's so funny, but when he doesn't, I go, Do that impression in front of someone else, he can't do it. He folds like a house, man. It's rough, it's rough, and I look bad.

Oh, dude, the worst is when... Sometimes you do look bad because of other people. I remember this. I dated this girl. She didn't know how to stand out of the way of where people were walking.

See, that would drive me nuts.

Bro, I would have to go hide in the fucking bathroom.

No, that's brutal.

We'd be talking, she would take a step back. I'm like, This is where all the people are walking, and it was like, and people bump anywhere, and then guys were like, I'm out. It's just like, oh.

I dated a girl who would take five seconds before she would realize that a waiter is there asking her for a first... Every time, and I'd have to go, He's looking at me, and she'd just be like this in a day's, every time, five seconds, and then she'd come out of it, and I'm like, I can't go on. I couldn't be married to that. So I was like, There's no use of me being here?

It's the little things. Dude, I dated a girl that I was in love with, and then we were like, canoodling or snuggling, whatever they used to call it. I think they don't call... I don't know why they don't call it that, but we're canoodling, I guess now it's called. But her head was She had big hair, and her head was so small. I was like, I felt-Did you like that, though?

Or it was a point where you go, I want to help her and be with her? Or is it that small? No. How small, though? Like a ballpoint pen? Or are we talking like-You know that day when you only knew about baseball, and then one day you're at PE and they show you softball?

Yes.

Okay.

You get that ball and you're like, What the fuck? What is this? You know? You're like, Oh, this is like a baseball with intestinal issues or whatever. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, it's a baseball with inflammation.

Yes, it's a baseball that has not had proper dieting.

My heart melts for the physical things more. But I dated a girl once who would just say the phrase rattle your cage every time. She's like, Hey, and I'm like, What are you doing? She's like, I'm just calling her Rattle your cage. I'm I'm like, I can't go on. That's a buddy of mine. It's Joe. He sucks. Oh, it is? It happened to a buddy of mine. But that is a thing that I would literally get out of. Yeah, I'd be out. Wouldn't that be something like, she goes, Hey, just call in to rattle your cage. I would fuck. No.

No. Rattle my phone against the wall. I would rattle my freaking head off a balcony. I love it. Dude, yes. Also, I dated a girl. We would be sleeping. She'd get up in the middle of the night, put a bunch of M&Ms and chocolate in her mouth, and come right back in her fucking bed. She said, Sometimes I can't fall back in sleep unless there's chocolate in my mouth. I was like, That's crazy.

Yeah, there's a lot of problems with that.

But that was crazy, dude. I had a girl who made me roll She was up in a blanket so she could go to bed at night. Laredo style? Yeah. Or like the Lumpia.

No way. Like the Lumpia. Yeah.

I had a girl just... I didn't even realize that till just now.

Did you have to unroll her in the morning or you just left? No? You just leave her.

Dude, I didn't even know her that You can't get out. Yeah, you get out on your own risk.

She doesn't have claustrophobic issues, though. You know that. So if you ever stuck in an elevator with her, she's the one you want to be with.

She's dynamite. Yeah, you're right. I need to look at the other side of the coin. Yes.

But definitely- There's always a bright side. Yeah.

I sometimes get stuck on the other side, and I'm like, I know it's brighter over there, but let me mill around over here in the shadows. Well, look at both.

I mean, Little Head, Burrito Girl, all these things can be there. There is a positive side to it, right? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. I mean, that was a lot for me. But then also I'm like, I don't know. But there's a lot of things that I think it probably kept me single over the years. Did you ever try one of those matchmaking services or no? Because I get approached by those all the time now.

I was before them, I think. Maybe they existed, but I was before the, I think the internet and all that crap. I got married in 2000. What is it? Three or four? Is it what was going on? 2004, I got married. Was What was around then? I don't even know if anything was around, but I never used them anyway.

Yeah, how would you even meet people? Was it loitering or whatever?

Yeah, we tried. I met my wife on a blind date. Someone set me up because Leah Remini, who was on my show with me, the King of Queens. King of Queens, yeah. She saw that I had nobody, and she set me up with-No, so it was one of her good friends, huh? No, it wasn't her. She didn't set me up with a girl. She did over the year, she tried to. But she set me up with a house decorator because she came to my... When we had the King of Queens, I got my first place, and she saw how it was decorated, and it was terrible. I had like prong lamps and posters. I was living with my brother, and it was like, she's like, You can't do this. You can't decorate a house. This is the way forward. Yes. She got a decorator for me, which I never knew about or anything like that. It wasn't me. And this decorator came into my life. She was a horrible decorator, but she set me up. She really was. She wasn't great either. I didn't like it. But She saw that I was lonely and I had nobody.

She set me up with somebody she knew, and it was amazing.

Did it change like that for you when you realized this is something? Because it's funny how you people go from a moment. I have a friend, she's a comedian. She was like, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm going to sell my eggs or I'm going to bury them over here, whatever. Then out of the blue, one day I called her. She's like, Yeah, I'm moving to Florida. We're getting married.

It's just like-It can turn on a dime.

That's the thing. It can. That's the thing you got to remember.

By the way, I think most of the time it does when you're not trying, right? Do you mean the thing you're not looking? Yeah, that's what they say. I don't know. I think for me it did. I was just like, I'll give it a shot. Never thinking anything would come of it. And then I never left her. That was it.

Were you a romantic guy? Are you like that guy?

No, I don't think so. I had to fake. She wanted to go out and we went to a sushi restaurant the first night, and I never ate sushi. She's like, Do you eat sushi? I go, Yeah. I lied right out of gate just because I wanted to make things smooth. We got there, and it was just a rough. It was everything you don't want to eat at a sushi restaurant made an appearance. She was ordering. It was rough. I had to fake it and get through it, but I was drinking a lot of beer to get through it and take it. I was taking it like a pill. I would take the sushi like a pill. I got through that night.

You're holding your nose.

I was lying about everything. She's like, Do you jog in the morning? I go, I jog every morning. I never jog. We started jogging. I was like, What the? I got to keep it up. Finally, we were close enough where I go, I got to tell you some things here. I don't do a lot of the stuff we've been doing. I sit a lot more than we have been sitting. That was it. I was in enough of the relationship, though, there where she was good with it. You know what I'm saying? We knew each other. She's like, okay. Then the act of things fell off and it was fun.

That's cool, man.

Yeah. How hard are you looking right now?

Right now, I'm actually trying to- We don't need to get back into it again. I know you don't want to- Yeah, no, I'm actually just trying to take a step back right now, and I'm just going to spend a little bit of time with myself and see what's going on.

You're working out, you're taking care of yourself?

Yeah, I'm doing pretty good, man. I'm fasting today, actually. That's cool.

You fast? I fasted yesterday. Did you?

Yes.

Let's go.

Let's go, baby. Dude, yeah. I fasted today. I fasted, let me see. I did three days last week. I just got into it this year, and so it's been interesting. I I feel super dehydrated today, but it's like some days that happens.

That's the biggest thing. You got to replace the water. And by the way, if you do fast, the next day, you don't go to Nashville. It's just Nashville. I just went to the deli here and crushed it. It was great. Oh, yeah? Well, that's the thing. I bounce back and forth. I can do a day fasting, and then the next day, you should just be good on your body because it digest it. It's feeling good, and then you can't put crap back in. So I got to stop doing that. That's obviously the battle for me, the food. But that's that you're fasting.

Yeah, I like it.

What do you fasting for? Because you don't need to lose weight. So you're fasting for-Just for health reasons, just because they say autophagy your body gets into.

And then it helps fight cancer cells and things like that. Your body starts taking care of itself. And because my brain gets clear, I have noticed It's funny. I just noticed this the other day. I think I'm having dreams that seem more relevant to direction in my life and some information, not all the time, but A little bit more than just dream, and then I'm like, attacking somebody with a neck, like fighting a neighbor. Exactly. Regular shit or waiting in line or whatever. Yes.

You have dreams of waiting in line?

Oh, yeah, dude. Lou Farigna was in a lot of them. No.

You and Lou Farigna are waiting in a line?

Yeah, at the post office, and his wife's mad at him. No, at him or you? At him.

Are you in front of him? I don't know. I'm behind him.

I'm behind him. Yes? Yeah, and I knew it was him.

You see it going on.

You see relationship.

Then is the lady behind the counter going next? Or you never get there? We never get there. You never get there.

We never get there.

Dude, that is the greatest dream of all time.

Dude, I probably had it 300 times where I finally was able... You ever had a dream so many times? You're just on the edge when you wake up, you're like, What? I've had I did so many times. What is it? You're like, It's horse radish. Dude, yeah, that's one of a big one for me.

I love it.

But recently, I've just been getting a little more information. Anyway, I just think I feel clear in a lot of ways. It's helping me feel a little bit more inspired, I think, to take care of myself because I think it starts to show me that I'm willing to make some sacrifices, even in little ways. That's what it is. Yeah. Have you done it?

Yeah, I did fasting. Every once in a while, I'll do it, but I did a really long one. It was great. How long did you do it? I got fat again. How long did you do it? I told Rogan this. I did 41 and a half days. Damn, you were. Just water. But honestly, I didn't rid myself of... I was doing it for different spiritual reasons. I wanted to clear out everything. And because the whole journey, I was watching pictures of food and going, This is what I'm going to eat when I'm done. I can't wait to get back to... I never really broke the habit of going, I don't need food. It doesn't matter. I would cook food for my kids, and the smell of food, I'd be like, Hey, can I make you a sandwich? Because I was living through that, and I wouldn't eat it, and I was fine with that. But I need to see the food and hold it. I'd smell it, and I hand it off. It didn't break the real bind. You know what I'm saying? The cord of being detached from stuff. That's what I got to do in my life with everything because I'm an addicted guy.

I'll just be like, I got to cut it off. That's it.

Yeah, I think that's what I'm doing, trying to do with dating right now is just like, let me take a break from like... Because if I put myself into a moment over here I'm in this over here, and then I'm going on maybe a date that I'm not interested in, but maybe over here, somebody I am interested in, but now I don't have time because I'm dividing it up. Then I'm like, Let me just see what's going on here at the factory. Yeah, Yeah.

By the way, I had a dream that I was on the ledge of a building, and I'm falling. I've had this one a few times. I'm falling, but I never leave the ledge. I'm just yelling the whole time like I'm falling down. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm like, But I never jumped. I'm just looking. Yeah. And then I wake up. That one comes back anyway. I just want to throw that in there.

I'd be so pissed if I'm down there.

I'm like, What is this?

Look at this poser.

Yes, exactly. You're looking like, Is he doing it? He's just yelling. He's got all the accutruman, but no fall.

Dude, the weird guy at a suicide jump is the guy was just waiting down there for the guy to jump.

Yes. They're just like this, not doing anything. Arrest him. Yeah, that's what you should do because this guy's not either helping or pushing. Either one, he's not doing anything. He either run upstairs, do something, make a move, but he's just waiting. These are the people in life we don't need.

Eating and the guy that's eating and waiting. Eating.

If you get nachos and you're pulling up and you're waiting for a guy to jump.

Yeah, you're like, Hey, hey. No, I can't. Give me 30 seconds. Let me grab this nacho. Ledge. To dream of standing on a ledge represents being on the verge of something. Is it? Yeah. You or someone else may be very close to finally making a big decision. You may be feeling tense or experiencing anxiety about It's a difficult change. Alternatively, a ledge may reflect how close you or someone else isn't close to going in a farceage. Wow. Shit, I messed up the sentence.

That's okay. Because you know what? It still hits the area. You know what I'm saying? I got the gist of it.

Yeah, thanks. Yeah, Rosen's crazy. Have you been on his show before?

I did Joe's show, and I've known Joe for got to be maybe more than 35 years. I think we met him.

Oh, wow.

What's 1990? No, maybe 34. What is it? 1990s, 36 years, right? 26. That's so wild. Yeah. He's the one who got me, I mean, really with my manager. He's always been the guy that's just like, Follow your own path. He was the one who got me out of-Really? Yeah.

He got me out of-Did he always seem so confident?

Yeah, he did. He just did. He was the one who got me out of it. I was the stand-up comedian behind the mic the sleeves pushed up and the bolo tie. I don't know if you remember these comics. These comics were the jackets, the funny jackets, the color. And he just wasn't that guy. He was just a half backwards guy and just go out there. And he always tell me, I was always so desperate to get laughs and trying so hard. And he was like, Don't give them your jokes on a platter. He was the one that told me, Basically, make them comfortable knowing that whatever you say, you know it's funny. And if they don't know, they got to catch up and be part of it.

Don't make it about the jokes. Make it be you that they're there for.

Yes. He was such an influence on-Was he...

Did other people see him? Because now people see him. I mean, and I certainly do as a... I don't know if it's a pioneer as much, but he's the best in his space, in podcasting. His standup is just... I mean, he's just a killer.

He's always been. Was he always...

He just was like...

He's super, super intense in anything he does. Once he locks on doing it, I think- He just seems so confident. I told him, I think God's going to make him one of the greatest saints of the 21st century. I really do. I think this guy, and I keep saying, because God's going to use him. He's like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. He just goes and he seeks truth. He's a guy that is just like, when he seeks it, he knows it's true. He's unrelent. He just doesn't stop. It's like, he'll go social. He's crazy. I knew it was martial arts, it was jiu-jitsu. He started jiu-jitsu together, by the way. I'm a blue belt. I'm a blue belt, 30 something years. He's crazy black belt.

He's dark black belt.

Dude, he's so...

He's a.

He is a badass. He is the real deal. He really is. He was getting into the internet before anybody and just searching these things in truth. I mean, he was crazy about it, and I was just like, I'm always behind the curve, way behind it.

Well, we need sleep, I think. He's the guy. I don't know. He always just seems to me like he's so... And he and I know each other pretty well now, but he just has always go. He's always go, and he's so curious, and he remembers everything. That's the craziest thing. You can't lie to him because he remembers everything. You're about to lie, and you're about to lie, and you're like, Oh, shit.

No, and he'll call you. That's what I love about it. Even me, I'm there. I've known him for 36 years now. Even doing his podcast, it's like, you got to be careful because he'll be like, What? What do you mean? And it's like, It's a dog that caught you, and you're like, not you. And you got to come. But I love that because there's such an innocence behind that. He just wants to know the truth. He's like, That's not true. You didn't say that or you didn't do it. So you got to be careful.

He's an oracle. I don't know if it's an oracle, but he's like a mirror of something. You know what I'm saying? There is something about that. I think it's super. I totally believe it. Some people give him a hard time, whatever. But to me, he's always seemed very altruistic as just to who he is or trying to be the best of who he is.

That's it. Everybody falls, everybody makes mistakes and does things wrong. But I know this guy is searching for truth, and he's always just calling it out. He's an astronaut, man.

He's everything. Dude, I was at the UFC the other day, and he brings these big bags of beef snacks, and it's just beef and salt that's dried out beef.

Because he wants to get down from 2% to 1% body fat.

Is that it? Yeah, he's doing something. He's always over there drinking fucking bat saliva or doing something, trying to get an upper. But anyway, there it is, carnival snacks. He has three bags, and he gave one of Daniel Cormier. Then Daniel traded one of his.

Traded for what?

I had a tub of popcorn. He couldn't keep away from it.

Oh, I love it.

He's like, My hand just keeps ending up in there. Dc.

Yeah.

But anyway, that was pretty great, too. But I got to eat a whole bag of those beef snacks myself. How were they? You know what? They're really good. They're not too salty, so you don't get chip fatigue.

Yeah. Someone says- You remember chip fatigue? Well, someone's like you're chewing on the top of a shoe, and it's just tiring. It's exhausting for the teeth.

And it's not like jerky. Jerky to me, sometimes at a certain point, it seems like, what do we doing here?

Yes, it's a give up. You give up.

Yeah, but this is nothing like that. That's cool. Yeah, and it feels carnivoreous, I guess, in a sense. Yeah, I enjoyed it. But it's fun just seeing them over there with their snacks. But sometimes you'll see Daniel Cormier over there. He'll have a thing of summer sausage. Yeah, and it's freaking February.

He dips.

And he's over there just slicing it off.

I love it. He's a good man. He's like me in that he loves his food. We golf together.

Are you golf with him?

I did golf with him and Chris Wyben. Chris Wyben loves you, too, by the way.

Chris Wyben is a cool guy.

Yeah, he loves you. I know Chris for Long Island guy. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Whenever you were training, was he training, too, then?

He was always training with him in their group. Ray Longo over there. Dude, that's cool. Yeah, they're fun. They're a fun group. Long Island is tough guys, man. A lot of good guys came out of Long Island. Yeah. No, but it's fun. Him and DC, we all went out and golfed and had a blast. Oh, does that mean next to Wyman? Yeah, Wyman'sThat's you?

Wyman is hilarious, dude. He's got the best energy, bro.

Yeah, he's a great guy. He's incredible.

They have a great show now that they do, too. Yes.

He was just telling me that. They're doing more and more with him. And I said, man, I'm so happy that he stopped fighting. I want them all to stop fighting because I don't want anybody to get hurt. You get to know all these guys. You're like, Please don't fight anymore. That's why I stopped watching. I don't go anymore. I used to go all the time with Rogan. Oh, you did? Oh, I wouldn't. Dude, there was no... I would go to these fights before anybody was even there. Oh, wow. I would hear the stomping on the canvas. There'd be nobody there. There'd be anybody be waiting for them. That's when I go. Yes, I love that. I go in the beginning. It's quiet and you hear a crack of a fist into a jaw or something, and I loved every moment of it, but I just couldn't do it anymore because I would get to know these fighters, and I was like, I couldn't. Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell, those fights. How did you saw Chuck Liddell?

I thought he passed away, and I was like, Holy shit.

No, I couldn't. You were alive. Look at you. You are there early.

Oh, dude, I go early a lot. Dude, I love that. Last time I got there, too early.

I love that, man. So you're not showing up at the main event, going in there, sitting down. No, dude.

I love this. I think this is amazing. These are these people that are doing the thing that they love the most. And some of them in the early, they're coming out for the first time into this UFC, and they come out and nobody's there. It's like, what are you doing? But, dude, sometimes you see some of the best fights early. Yeah, I love it, dude.

Good for you. Yeah, that was it. Then I would start to know these fighters, and I couldn't watch them anymore. I was there with Rich Franklin when he got knocked out by Anderson Silva. I was there with his wife watching this, and you just stunned. I'm like, I can't do this anymore. So I stopped going. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to see these guys. I wanted to say that I wanted to get Chris out of fighting because I was like, he's had so many surgeries, broken leg, all these things. And it's like, he's a good-looking guy, man. I do get on TV and he's funny and he's personable. So I'm glad to see he's doing TV stuff.

Yeah, there's a lot of great guys over there. Angre Girls. It's been fun. Being associated with that whole thing has been just so exciting just to get to go watch it.

Do you train?

No, I trained for a little while, and then I just kept getting hurt. It's tough. My ribs, and I'd be having some fucking huge guy rolling over on me or something. It was a lot. I think I'll do it again whenever I don't have so much responsibility.

I got to do it when they work out the smell. You know what I'm saying? The smell of the room? Oh, yeah. I can't do it. Not at 60. When I was younger, I was like, Hey, you got to be able to be... It doesn't matter what it is. At 60, you go, I don't need to smell this anymore.

You're Did you hit 60?

Yeah, I hit 60. Can you believe that? No way.

No, not at all.

Yes. You're a baby. I'm telling you, I've been around a long time. So what I'm saying is I don't need the smell of a jiu-jitsu room anymore. I'll do it privately. I'll do it that way for a while. Because a wet gee, I don't think there's much worse than that, going up against a guy with a wet... And you're in there and he's got your face and he's cranking it. All you got is wet gee and chest hair.

That's past gay. It's past a gay feeling.

I think a gay feeling, it's beyond romance. Yeah, it's a control thing. It's just not good. But yes, some guys wet. Yeah, it's just not good.

He got wet and then got cold and wet. Yes. That's the thing. If somebody's warm and wet.

At least you're like... It's actually a bath. Yeah, that feels a little bit more like a bath would feel. Cold and wet is just it's bad.

And the smell. Yeah, that's tough stuff, dude. Not my favorite. No. We've got another segment now brought to you by Pepsi. You saw the bear, the myth, the legend in the Super Bowl commercial where he chose Pepsi Zero Sugar, and now we've got him in studio here. What's up, bear? First off, thanks for coming. I don't even know how you got here. Well, actually, we just had a huge freeze here. You can't talk. Okay, I think what will be The easiest to get to know you, I think, is if I ask you questions and you just use these paddles, this or that. Does that make sense to you? Okay, let's get started. Okay, I got to ask you out the gate, big dog. This, female polar bears, or that, thick raccoons? Female polar bears, huh? Okay. But if you get one of those snow racks going and show it, you think? Okay, let's keep it moving. This, Polar Express or that, Tokyo Drift. Tokyo Drift, really? Oh, yeah. But Tom Hanks narrated Polar Express. Yeah, you're right. Dude, this is just for me. Have Have you ever had Penguin? How is it? I knew it.

They won't let us have it. Dude, what's your stripper name, you think? What do you mean? You live at the North Pole. It's the biggest pole in the world. You never even thought about your stripper name? It's the last thing you ate in the street you grew up on. I think so yours would probably be like Snow Way, Zero Sugar. Coming to the main glacier. I like it. I like it. Zero sugar. That's what I'm talking about. Get that sugar out of here, boy. Don't be crazy around me with that sugar. I don't want no sugar bear. I want my bear to be sugar-free. Sugar-free. Sorry, something took over me. Okay, that's not edible. I don't care. I think we have another one. This, the first sip, or that, the last sip? All sips. All right, this is the last one. This is a big one. This, Coca-Cola Zero Sugar, or that, Pepsi Zero Sugar? It's the truth. Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola zero sugar. That's his take. That's my take. But let your taste decide. Hey. Yeah. Jeeps, where are you going? Oh, wherever you want, I guess. Where does a polar bear sit?

Wherever he wants. Was it hard for you to adapt to married life once you got married?

No. No. Once I found her, it was like, I remember I went away. I was with her for a while. It's like, this is it. I knew this was it. It wasn't because, Oh, I got to get married or anything like that. I could tell because I just didn't want to be away from her. I had to do, I think, a couple of gigs or whatever. I was on the road for a while and she couldn't go. I just hated being away from her. I was calling her every night and I was like, Wow, I got to get back there.

Had you had that feeling in a long time?

I hadn't. Not with who I was dating and going out with. No, it wasn't there. It was totally different. You just click on so many different levels and it just becomes apparent. Like, Man, I need this person in my life. They make me better, too. You know what I'm saying? That's it. She's amazing that way. So that was it. I was like, I'm done. I'm happy.

Gosh. Oh, that's a great thing to say.

Yeah. No, I am. It's amazing.

Yeah. When you see your wife, you get excited, you give her a hug?

Yeah, I'll give her a hug. But sometimes it's not crazy romantic all the time. It's life. You're tired. It's like, you just pass each other. Sometimes it's a fist bump. It's like, All right, get out of here. Whatever it is. But I miss her this morning. She left this morning. We were out last night, and then I was like, Wow. You know you're You're going to have all those feelings. All the emotions and everything, and all the cooking or this, that, the things that you love them so much about, it's a bounce of them all. It's everything. It's the It's the bad, it's the bad. And you just realize overall, it's like, I never want to be without them, even in the worst moments. So you know that, and it's real.

You think you can fall in a different type of love when you're in your late 30s or As you get older, then you came when you're younger, you think?

First, for me, I think I'm matured. I'm still not that mature. I'm 60. I still think like a kid, like an idiot. So for me, I'm glad it happened later. Some people are able to know what they want when they're younger and much more mature. I was not there.

Yeah, I think. And your career might not have happened the same.

Yeah, that's for sure. I needed to be by myself and get it going.

Because you would have left It left your family all the time to go. It would have just been really different.

It would have been rough for sure. I'm glad I got the grind out. Now, I take them with me if I'm doing a movie. I'm never away from them for that long, which is good.

Do you miss some of those days, the road days back in the day? Are there any of them that you romanticize a little bit?

I still do them. It's like the days-But I mean, clubs that weren't it.

Just like, I'm talking about like-Stating in the condo and all that stuff. Yeah. Did you ever stay in Michalwaka? Did you stay in condos? Oh, yeah, dude. You did? You ever stayed in Mishawaka? Over there? Where's that? Indiana, right outside of Notre Dames right there.

No. But I made crazy crappy condos and stuff like that. But it was exciting. It was me, my brother, a couple of other guys, comedians that were, Rogan, but never went on the road with Rogan. But yeah, it was great. It was fun. You stayed at casinos. I used to play the Tropicana in Vegas. I I never gambled. I've never been to Vegas. I remember losing my week. You go there for a week, you do two shows a night for seven days, man.

You have to eat downstairs with the staff.

Yes, exactly.

Sometimes there's no food, and they're asking you for food.

Yes, exactly. It's rough. But you're excited to be there. It was like 103 degrees. I remember when OJ, when they were chasing OJ, I was in Vegas at the Tropicana, and we were drinking. You're staying in your hotel. You got no I think you're getting maybe, I don't even know how much money you're getting, but I lost. In the first night, I've lost my entire week's worth of money. I'm not kidding. We got a case of Bud Light Ice, which was the beer then. It was so good and frost at a gas station.

I remember that beer. Do you remember that? Yeah, they discontinued. It was great, though. I liked it.

I did, too. Bud Light Ice.

Bring up a picture of it, at least.

Can you please? Something would it look like?

Bring me back. There was something dog at the same time. Another red dog. Red dog or something, I think. Yes.

I love that. You know that.

Red Dog was disgusting. It was supposed to be for disabled families.

Bud Light Eyes. There you go. We got a case of that. We sat in my hotel room and we just pounded it, and it was still 103 degrees at night. I remember that, and OJ was being chased or whatever. It was just crazy.

Dude, I remember I would be in my hotel. I remember this one hotel I stayed at, I think it was outside of Syracuse in Liberty, New York or something. They gave you a cup of water, and it was filled up. I When I got in the room, it was like a cup of water. It wasn't even like a bottle of water.

I was like, this is-Oh, that was for you? Yeah.

If you're thirsty, we poured you a cup of water and put it in there.

Did you stay in some rough places?

Yeah, just places where you would have to walk on the interstate to get there, whatever, like a highway to get there. Just some places that were a little bit like, What is going on here?

I drove eight hours to a gig that I had to do. One gig, it was one night. I was making no money. I get there early before the gig, and It's a crappy motel type thing. I pulled the bed back because I'm tired. Just drove 8 hours. Got to take a nap before the show. There's a roach in the blanket. I mean, I don't even know. It was this big. I literally just put the blanket back. I went to the show. I just sat in my car in the parking lot until the thing was ready. Did the show, drove home 8 hours, man. I'm not staying with a roach. Couldn't do it. There's some miserable places.

Yeah, dude. I remember to save $100, you'd fly into a city that was four hours. If you could figure out the math, you could make-Drive here, get a ride. Then you're like, Oh, I'll just finish a show. I'll drive and catch a flight out of Indianapolis at 5: 00 AM. It just everything was like...

Did you have a buddy, a comic buddy that you go with or you were by yourself?

I didn't. I was out there, and I'd always pee in the bed. I'd always pee on my cell phone once it came out. I'd miss certain calls or wake up alarms.

Back that up. Wait a second. What did you say?

I would wet the bed.

You would wet the bed?

Yeah, I wet the bed, man. I'll be drinking.

First of all, let's start with this one first, and then we'll back in there. Why is your cell phone in the bed? Can you put it on the counter?

No.

I'd fall asleep. To put it on the counter. But that's not that close. You shouldn't have that close to you anyway. Put that on there. And by the way, you won't pee on it then. But why are you wetting the bed?

I was wetting the bed, man.

Were you drunk or just letting it go?

I was drunk, and I wet the bed for a long time. Okay. I was in it.

Just because you got used to it when you were younger and you're like, Let's just keep going with this?

I can't remember, dude. I just think I just was always I was so nervous. Whenever I was asleep, at some point, finally, I wasn't nervous, and my body's like, Well, this is when we got to urinate.

You seem like a guy from a place of fear, right? Everything in fear. I'm that way. I don't know about you, but I get worried about everything, or you're not worried about everything.

Oh, I would get worried. If I'm with a girl and there's a moment of silence, it makes me so fucking-You got to feel that. I get so scared. I'm like, I just don't want to give her room not to. It was almost like, if there's any space here, she'll not like me. That's exactly it. I don't want to give her room not to-So you got to fill that space up.

Yeah. I would do it with one word for the next set. If we were talking, I'm like, Yeah, I went to the other day to the game with my brother, and it was a lot of fun. And then it gets quiet, and I would go, Because... And I would say, because...

To give you moments of start.

Yeah, But I don't know what I'm saying. And she's like, What do you mean? And I'm like, Because... In my head, I'm like, Hey, because it has to follow. You got to follow with something if you say because it. So I was like, Because we just like the team that was playing something. And then it's dead again, I'm like, I do another one. It's just those little words like, Just shut up, man. Sit in the pocket. I can't sit in the pocket.

I can't sit in the pocket. Ever. Dude, it's the same with baseball. I would get up there, I would swing three times, four even fucking through it, and I would go sit down. If they had a problem with it.

I love it.

I'm going home. I like it. My mom would sit in the distance, she would be in the van, and she would honk. She's like, If you don't hit it, we're fucking leaving.

I love it.

She'd be gone, dude. I never hit it.

Dude, I love that.

I never hit it, dude. But yeah, there's something about that moment where it's like, I just can't. Especially if it's looking at a woman in the eyes, too, that's always been super tough. It's just like something. It's like, yeah, I just always had a tough time with that, but I can't let there be a thing. Well, I couldn't.

If the woman didn't In high school or even beyond, I had to know the girl. She had to come over to me. I could never be one of those guys to go up. I'd be like, ask my friend. She's like, She likes you. Go talk to her. I couldn't talk to her.

I walk around her in a big circle.

Oh, gosh. That's funny. That's great, though. That's insane. That's marking your territory and you're trying to go in and you don't even know how to do it. I would need her to come over and I would need confirmation of, yes, I like you. Yes. Let's go out. I couldn't. I'd be like, Are you sure? I'd give her every hour. We don't have to do this if you don't want to go out.

Are you okay? If anybody has to hang out with me, a lot of them are always like, Are you okay? I don't even do it on purpose. There's a part of me that just asks them that.

It's a sweetness, man, but it's a worry that you're not good enough, right? I'm sure.

I think it's not even on the front of my thoughts anymore, but it's still just this old thing that's just built in me. I've had it my whole life. But that looking in the eyes, like, yeah, I couldn't look a woman in the eye. I don't know what It is if they... I don't know what I'm afraid they're going to see. They're just going to see that something's wrong with me, probably. Or I'm going to see them. Here's what I think it is, too. I'm going to see them see that something's wrong You would look for signs.

She saw me just like... She knows I'm weak.

I'll know the look in her eyes. I'll know the look in her eyes when she sees that, when she realizes that there's something wrong with me. I don't know. I don't want to lock out. Something like that. I don't know what it is. Anyway, sorry for talking.

No, it's the truth. I'm the same way. You don't want to give yourself the possibility of failing. So it's like you kill it before it happens. You go, I'll self kill it before. Then I didn't fail. It just went down. Whatever.

I don't know. But then life gets along. You're like, what theme park am I living in here with myself?

I'm going to tell you, get out of it. I'm out of it now. I'm coming out of it. I really am. I don't let those things scare me anymore. I don't care anymore. I do it. It's been helping a lot. I mean it. Yes.

Just by just-Just doing.

You figure it out, you go, I don't care. She said, no, she said, no. This one, this, whatever. I don't get this. It doesn't do well. I don't care. Moving on. What's next? Let's go. We know what we got. God is good. Go. Go, go, go.

You get stuck so much on the thinking side.

Yeah, you got to get out of your own way. I'm the same way.

Yeah. It's interesting, dude. But yeah, that would be a lot of it.

God.

That would be a lot of it. But yeah, that thing I'll be like, what else is going on? I'll say that all the time. If things get real quiet, that's a weird thing. But I think that's what makes you your brain is like, we got to come up with something.

What are we doing here, boys? Yes. I'm telling you, you look calm outside, but inside it's like, There's a fire. What do we do next? She's not like... I remember it all. I remember it. It's over. It's cortisol shooting out of your face. It's like, I don't know what to do. I can't control myself.

When you think back on it, it's so insane. It is.

That's a lot of it. It meant nothing. Don't worry. Just calm down. Sit in the pocket.

Yeah. Spade He does a good job of that, man.

He's always been that guy, right? He's just very cool. He's so cool. Yeah. I've never been the cool guy. He's so cool.

Yeah. My friend was the cool guy.

Yeah. All my friends were the cool guy. It was never me. I was never that guy.

No. Even the times when I thought I was that guy, I was like, That's insane that you thought that, dude. Because it just doesn't fit. Right.

Yeah. I Then it worked for me to not be that guy. Then it's like when you admit it- Once you realize, Oh, I'm not.

Once you're not trying to be something.

Yeah, it feels better, right? It's all right. That's why it happened.

It makes things a little bit better. Did you feel a little bit of like your character, Matt Taylor, that's the guy's name? Which is so funny because I know three Matt Taylor, but everybody does. Maybe that's why they picked the name. There's a lot of them.

There's a lot of them out there.

How many are there? Bring that up.

Please.

How many Matt Taylor's are there? I know three.

There's got to be 14 or more in the world.

I bet there's 140,000.

I know, I'm joking. It's got to be Matt Taylor's, right?

There's no precise global account for the name Matt Taylor. A conference of worldwide name database do not exist. Estimates can be derived from available national data and name frequency tools.

So up here in the public record, it's about 3,700 times. That's it? Yeah, there's no way to figure it out. There's a lot of them, though.

Matt, as a first name, alone has an estimated living population of 207,000. I bet it's more than that. 207,000 Matt? There was that Kyle meet up in Texas. Do you see that?

I did not.

Bring that up. All Kyle's? All the Kyle's met up.

Really?

Yeah, bro.

If we were to branch out now and go to try to figure out how many Matt Taylors there are currently living in the world, what is the first step? The first step is, do I go, okay, if we just decided right now we're doing it, but would I say to my guy, All right, call his agent. We're going to do this thing. What is the first step? Do we book a hotel and we say we're going to talk about it or we need a first meeting of how we're going to go about the thing?

Is that it? The first step, probably agreeing that we're going to do it together.

That would take some time, though, because we'd be like, Are we really doing this? Then it's like, Well, we got to talk it out. Let's think it. The logistics of it, how would we do it?

Getting uniforms, too.

Searching for Matt Taylor uniforms. That would be sick. Would it be a jumpsuit or is it two pieces?

Every Matt Taylor. I think it's a onesie. A onesie? It's a one piece, like a Carhartt. It's hard work.

Yes.

Dude, you know what I mean? Matt Taylor's or ours is at least 207,000. Dude, I love it. Searching for the best Matt Taylor. What are we looking for?

The uniform would be probably the first thing we're working on.

What are we looking for him for? Maybe we got a piece of mail for him.

Yeah, just something like we can... Yeah. Or just to give them a A pat on the back for being Matt Taylor, being part of the team.

Yeah, being in the army. That's a militia. That many people- That is. Bring up that meeting of the Kyles again. What did they do, too? Somebody said that...

That is cool. They're all Kyles?

Yeah, those were all Kyle's. And Sugar Ray performed, I heard.

Oh, I love it.

706 people named Kyle got together in Texas, but it wasn't enough for a world record.

Oh, damn. How sad is that? First of all, let me say something. These guys put together 706 of these people had the dream of becoming a world record breaker with the Most Kyles in a certain area. I love that. And they missed it. Look at that. By the way, as bad as we feel about everything that happened in our lives, if I had that one, that would tip it.

It'd be tough to leave.

Come on. No, you're second place for Most Kyles?

Second place for Most Kyles. The Crown is currently held by a town in Bosnia. They got 235 people named Ivan in 2017.

It's any name. It's not just Kyle's. It's just a certain name.

But this is, I think, one of the largest groupings. What did it say about Kyle? Did it say anything else? Go back to that original article.

How does that start? Where's that first meeting?

Oh, Kyle. Well, it's right here. It's not the first time the Kyle's have come gunning for the Ivans. Last year, the official count at what has become known as the Gathering of the Kyle's clocked in at 14: 90 in the fast-growing Texas city that is about 37 miles of Austin. Oh, the city's called Kyle. They did it in Kyle, Texas.

But are they named Kyle?

They're all named Kyle. That's got to be crazy, dude, when you see who all the other freaking Kyle's really are. But you go door to door.

Are you knocking and going?

I'm sure they met. I'm sure there was something online that announced it. Okay. Then they all showed up. I guess you have to register.

Yeah, that would seem a lot more efficient.

Dude, that'd be so crazy. You look around and everybody's a Kyle, and you see some, you're like, whoa. Or they put one person out there that's not a Kyle, and the whole day-Do you think there's anybody in that group of 706 that's not a Kyle?

Really? That's like, Kyle was his nickname. It wasn't even his real name. He knows it. He's there. It's not on his birth certificate. He's getting around, not wanting to get caught. People are looking around. Other Kyle's know if you're not a Kyle. So they're just like, What's your name? And you're like, I'm Kyle, too. And they're like, I don't know if he... And they're like, Hey, they go to get his buddy. I want to check you out. And then he leaves. He's like, I'm going to a bathroom. I'll be back. And he just goes to a different of the field. It's so stupid.

It's so crazy to be a fake Kyle there just to fit in, though.

But people have nothing to do.

Look at what they're doing. They're just trying, man. I love it, man. I love it. People are desperate for a connection. This is how it's getting.

By the way, this is beautiful to me.

But the worst part is, though, imagine it's all dude, you go there hoping you could meet a chick. There's some chick's named Kyle.

Oh, do you think so?

I've met a couple.

Okay.

I met a couple for sure.

Who performed?

Who performed? I think Sugar Ray.

But that's a missed opportunity. Shouldn't they get a Kyle? Isn't there a Kyle performer?

Kyle Canane could have. Yeah. I don't know.

That's a missed opportunity, man.

It won't try to break the same name gathering record this year. Okay, so Kyle's out.

That's all we got. Oh, so they're switching names. By the way, why don't you go with a Bob or something like... You know what I'm saying?

Because the city of Kyle, Texas, put it on, it looks like.

All right, we'll find the better The city has been hosting The Gathering since 2017.

When you look back at this movie, what was different about making this movie than some of the others? Did you find it that it's easier? Do you have a different ownership of this film?

It was something that... It came together really quick, but it's the first movie that I'm really proud of, that everybody who worked on it was just amazing, and it was just different than any other movie I've done. The story is not that. It's not even that crazy different or anything like that, but it's a classic. We hit every mark that we wanted to hit in doing this in a different way. We got the best cast, the best crew. And again, it's not me. It was them, and it was everything coming together in Italy that just made it. I just couldn't believe how great it came out. And it was like, I know. I think Honestly, for the rest of my life, this will probably be the best movie for me. Really? It's the best I've done so far. Yes, without a doubt.

The best you've done, even in your acting, you think? Yeah.

Well, it's the most where I'm real. You do different movies for different reasons. When I did Mall Cop, I'm doing it for families and kids, and you're being goofy and broad and this and that. And a lot of stuff you're getting that. That's what they expect from you. But this was one where I was able... There's still comedy in it, but I don't hold the as much as Kim Coates and Jonathan Ruehm and these guys and Allison Hanigan and Juli Cherdia. Jonathan was great. Juli Tata. Yeah. Which allowed me to play more of a real guy, which is fun for me to do.

Who played Jules? What was that guy's name?

Kim Coates, from Sons of Anake. I've known him for 35 years. I did a movie with him and Ray Romano called Grilld. Yeah, and it never went anywhere. We were a meat salesman, and I met him, and he is the greatest. He's an insanely intense actor. I don't even know what he's going to do, but that's why I want him for comedy. He looks at you and he's just going to go a certain way and you're going to go with him. And he was the perfect guy to play that role.

Yeah, that was great, dude. He was really, really... He was a good... Yeah, his comedy was right on.

He's incredible. He crushes it.

Whenever you made... What's another... Just take me through one more favorite film, an experience that you I mean, Hitch.

I mean, all the stuff with Sandler. That stuff. That's a dumb question. No, I mean, it's like doing stuff with Sandler is the best always.

What about a Hitch reboot today? Would that work, you think?

I mean, I don't know how you do it with me, but yeah, I guess you could do it. I think so. I think it was great. Well, that was my first movie. I was thankful for that one. That started out like I had one line or something. It was a very small part. And then Will and I just connected, and he was so nice and given me some freedom to be funny and try different things. Oh, yeah. Dude, and it made everything for me. So I was really excited about that one.

Do you feel a lot of pressure when you just have that much of a part to try to make it perfect in some way?

In Hitch? Coming in, Will was a massive movie star. Oh, yeah.

He's been one of the biggest.

And movie stars were different then. It was just Theaters, it was like they were special. You didn't see them much. I remember we were doing a big table read in New York, and he walked in with his crew, and I'm like, whoa. My eyes were like, whoa, that's him. It's like one of those things. Just happy to be there, trying to pitch things, but don't want to get thrown out of the room, timing and stuff like that. But he was great. We would write after in his trailer, he'd go, Come back, and we'd work on some material and rewrite it as we were doing it. I was just It was a dream for me. It was really great. It had that special feeling that I have in this movie, honestly, where you feel things are coming together, because I've done a ton of movies where you go, Man, this is just not working. It's like you just feel like you're muscling through, you're pushing the comedy too hard. This one felt so real to me, and it was just so much fun to be a part of.

Do you have other projects that you already have on the docket, Kevin?

Yes. We're working on one with the Jolly Roll. It's an country drama, country music drama that we're working together.

You see that video of him the other night at the Grammys? Were you there?

No, I wasn't there. He is amazing, man. Yeah, he's great. I got a shirt. I bought a shirt at Walmart before coming here, and I already stained it up a little bit. Let's go. Yeah, let's go, Jolly.

He sent me a pair of those shoes. They're like, I don't know what they're called.

Oh, yes. The boots that he wears?

Yeah, they're something like that.

Yeah, they're great. He's an amazing human being, man. I'm He was proud of him and so excited to do this. And in this drama, here's the thing. He goes, Hey, if we're going to do this, we got to get into prison shape because we go to prison. We're both in prison in the movie, and it's real.

Where at? What city? In Nashville. Oh, nice.

I haven't been to the prison here. Yeah. It's a whole thing about getting to the yopery. It's a really cool story, and there's a lot of drama in it, and it's exciting. But we said, Okay, we're going to commit now to doing this He went out and lost 300 pounds, and I am up seven. I got to get down.

You're up seven pounds right now? Yes.

He's down 300. I'm up seven. Oh, that's a crazy spread. Yeah, it's a big spread. We went the wrong way.

You already shot.

No, we didn't shoot anything yet. We shoot like, we're hoping to do seven, eight months. We're going to be ready to shoot.

Do you think you can get to that?

I know I can. I'm going to do it right now. I'm literally, after I promote this movie, which I'm doing, I'm I'm cutting down from everything else, and I'm going into training mode like never before. I'm going to work out. I'm going to change everything. I'm going to be unrecognizable. I have to say it. If I don't say it, I'll never be accountable.

What will you do? Do you have a plan?

I know what I'm going to do. Yeah, I'm going to do everything. I'm going to It's so easy, though. It's like that's the one thing. I'm very eclectic when I work out. I'll do a little bit of jujitsu and stuff like that. Light stuff, though, now, and boxing and then stretching and a little bit of stuff, bike riding, things like that. Pool is That's insane. Swimming? Not swimming. I'm not a swimmer. But just getting in a pool and stretching and moving a little bit, if you can do that, if you have access to that, too. But it's also like a-You burn a lot of calories. It's therapeutic because The water holds you. It's like your body feels good stretching and moving. Doing a lot of that. No, I got to get on it, though. He's lived up to his part of the bargain.

Were you going to have a trainer? What else would you do?

I do, but trainers annoying to me. I got to be honest. After a while, and you know what? If I'm being completely honest, I've done it before. I know what to do. I know what to eat. But I am using Dolce. Do you know Mike Dolce? He's got He's a Dolce Diet. He's trained all these UFC athletes.

Wait, I have met him before.

Yeah, he's awesome. He's going to help me. Yes, he's a badass.

He's a really good-So he's going to help?

He is going to help. He's frustrated with me because I haven't been doing... He knows I haven't been doing it.

Hey, you're up seven.

Yeah. I don't think he knew that. I guess he's going to know that now. All right. Sorry, Dolce, I'm up seven, but I didn't lock in yet. When I lock in, I promise you it's going to be six months. I'm going to be a different person.

What would be the hardest thing for you to give up, you think?

Food-wise or just…

Probably food-wise, yeah. Or is it a beer-wise or what is it?

No, it's not drinking. I'm not a big drinker. It's just food, and it's just amounts of food. I could eat constantly if you change the food like a shark. I would just keep swimming. I don't get full, really. It's scary. It's something in me that I need to stop, but But are you a big eater? You look great, man.

I like to eat some, but I don't care that much. You don't. I like beef quesadillas and I like smoothie.

Okay, but so you're not... That's a great couple.

Yeah, those are the two things I eat every single day. Do you really? If I'm eating, that's what I eat. I love that. It's easy. We have seven ingredients here.

But you don't think about it. See, look at your face. You're like, that's your face. That's not my face with food.

I think it's lame to not care about food sometimes. I think like, dude, get some zest in your world.

No, I think what you're doing is-Think about a fucking sauce or something. No, I think I would rather be like that because why am I so concerned about what I'm eating for lunch? I'm thinking about it constantly. I'm looking at you right now, but I'm thinking, tonight, you don't want You don't want to make a mistake. You don't want to go.

That's a good point. Nothing's worse than making a mistake at a-Especially when you're like, We're in Nashville now, so we got to pop. You got to find something good. Dude, I ordered a steak from this place, STK last night or something. Oh, STK is great. This was not, dude. Oh, really? Sdk missed?

They have a place in the... They have a few of them, right? They're a chain?

Yeah. But not a-It still makes me sick. It tastes like... I don't even know.

Oh, STK, sorry. I'm out then. I'm out. If you had a You had one?

Oh, it tasted like...

I'm done. It tasted like just... Okay. Vagina. If they had one in LA, I think I went to it and it was good.

Fourteen hundreds or whatever. Like, game of... Really? Grones, dude. It was horrible. Dude, I can still... I had one bite and I was like, oh, maybe I got a bad piece of the meat or whatever. In what way? What was wrong with... … Piece of the meat or whatever.

It tasted bad or it was tough?

It tasted bad and it just had this aroma or...

Oh, no.

Or whatever with it. And dude, that or whatever hit me and I was like, what is the order?

Oh, you're seeing the order? Ordour?

Ordour?

Yes.

It hit me, dude. I fucking my knees shook a little. Did they? I was like, God, yeah.

But do you think it was just bad tasting or it was bad. You're going to get sick.

I couldn't tell, dude, but I had one more bite because I was like, why? You went back? I was like, dude, I was treating myself to something. I hadn't really eaten all day and I was coming home and I was like, I'm going to treat myself to something tonight. I'm going to order steak because I still have to work. I was going to try to go somewhere to eat, but it was so late. And they sent it and I was like, oh.

No, you can't.

It made me feel good when you do that shit. You turned into your own chiropractor and shit.

See, I wouldn't get upset. Once it was bad, I have no problem switching foods. I would go right to peanut butter and jelly, and I would make a massive sandwich.

God, those are good. I guess they're as good when you're a kid, but I just quit eating them years ago. What? Pina butter and jelly. Why? You still eat them?

Yes, I do. Yes, I do. What is your ratio of butter to jelly?

I used to think I go thick on both. If I'm really going to have one, I haven't had one in years, but I would put butter on the jelly side as well. Butter, jelly, and then the other bread has peanut butter on it. My grandmother used to do that.

Toast or no?

No. Sometimes my mom used to grill them with bananas in them, though.

That's insane. I'm stuck on butter right now. My mind is going like a beautiful mind right now. It's seeing all the equations of why I didn't do it. But I got to tell you, first of all, I go much thicker peanut butter. I thick it up. Oh, really?

It's a lot. Yeah. You just choke a little.

Yeah, that's fine. I get it down. Then it's worth it, though. I get a little jelly in there just to get that sweet going, but it's a big one. I'll do toast sometimes, but if you do too hot of a toast, I know this is a little bit too much information, but then you get the wet peanut. It melts and it comes right out, squeezing it out the side.

How do you feel when peanut butter started doing that thing a few years ago where they put just two parts of peanut butter into a jar? It's like the oil and the part they separate.

No, I can't stand that. That's insane. I can't stand that. What is that? I don't want to do the skip. Yeah, there you go. That's the drip. There you go. That drip is good, but if it goes out of the sandwich, it's useless. You lose it. You lose it. It's like, that could have been in me.

Yeah, God. Yeah, I do miss stuff like that.

I don't like that at all.

I do miss those kid foods, those lunchables.

I can't believe you. Why did you stop? When you say kid foods, they're foods. Macaroni and cheese with the Kraft, with the powder, it never stops. When do you go? At what age is it appropriate to go, I'm not eating the powder cheese.

Something happened to me, I guess. I don't know. I just started. You know what? I just like working so much. I just don't think about food that much. But maybe this will start. Maybe I'll start falling in love with some new things.

I would like to go the other way. I would love to be like that. I wish I had that where I wasn't thinking about it so much.

What's going to be the toughest part for you with this coming up change? I know you got to get out of here. What's going to be the toughest part?

It's It's just going to be the food. It is. It's going to be cutting that out. But once I get into a groove, it's routine, routine and discipline, man. That's all it ever is, right? If you do it a little bit and you do it enough, and you don't need a perfect every day. But that's the other thing, too. I let the perfect be the enemy of the good, which means if I'm not perfect that day, I go, screw it, and I eat like crazy that night, and I blow it. If I get a flat tire, Wyman always says, If you get one flat, you just pop the other three tires. You don't just fix that one. I do. If I go off my diet a little bit, I go out that night, I'm eating, drinking, having a blast, and I'm like, I'll start tomorrow, because it's a fresh start that I'm looking for. I love that start fresh because I've always been that guy. I've always been the guy to never do the homework. When I should, it's Monday morning, I get it done. And then I get it, because I can do it.

That's the thing.

Dude, yeah, I was always like, I wrote every answer on my finger. I go in there. Yes. Like that. Little bitty words on there, cheating. Well, dude, thanks so much for Solomia, man. Thanks for all the entertainment of the year. Sorry, I was a little bit tired today.

No, I'm sorry. I'm a little weak, too. I said a lot of things that I rambled for a while that if you want to cut out, you can cut out because I was a little bouncy.

Dude, I don't know. I just did feel like I didn't have a lot of gasoline in me today, but sometimes that's the day, man. It was great. You were great. But I'm grateful that we got to spend some time together, man. I really am. And thanks for all the entertainment over the years. Thank you for Solomio.

Solomio, right?

Salamio.

Salamio.

But thank you.

It's Salamio.

I got to remember that. Okay. Thank you for Solomio.

Yes. Okay. That's even-And there's a musical ensemble.

You wouldn't even imagine that this happens in this movie. That's great. Yeah. That guy's blind. Do you know it?

Yeah.

I didn't know. I'm looking at him like, This guy's fucking nonchalant about everything. Then I'm like, Oh, this guy's fucking blind or whatever. My friend He's blind.

You have a friend that's blind? Yeah. How blind? Completely?

Nothing. It's all.

But has he always been that way? Yeah.

He's always been blind since he was... Yeah. He could maybe have vision when he was very young, but he's always been blind. Wow. As long as I've known him, he's been blind. I thought it was amazing. Anytime I met somebody with a deficiency, I always admired it so much in some way.

My sister lost her sight. But she was born with sight. She was fine. Now, she's got retinitis pigmentosa where it goes away. I'm wondering if it's more difficult to have seen or to never have. My heart goes out to all of them.

We had a blind girl on here one time, and she was talking about how she learns things. It's almost like a video game. It's like that's how she remembers things and where to go and different. She can slowly build spaces to walk in and things like that, she said. Then she said the worst animal that she's petted all kinds of animals except a snake, doesn't give any energy back to the blind. That's what she said.

Yeah, it doesn't give any back to the seeing either.

Yeah, that's what I said. Right? Yeah, 100%. Tanja. Yeah. Right there. Long person.

Wow. That's cool, man. You could feel that.

She's awesome. I got to check back in with her. But yeah, guys, go see Solomio. You'll enjoy it. Take your lady. Take your man, take whoever you got, take your son. Take your stepson. That's who needs to. Yes.

Bring your stepson.

Take your freaking stepson.

Take your stepson. He's never taken that kid. That's all I want. Stepson is in free. We should do a whole thing, right?

Oh, dude. Yeah.

Stepsons get in free. I wonder if Angel could work that out.

And blinds get in free.

Sure. Absolutely. Let's do it.

I appreciate you, man. Gratulations, man. Yeah, you too, man. Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone.

Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones.

But it's going to take.